The doom and tragedy of the bookworm life is knowing you can’t possibly read all the books.
Unless you plan to live forever, like I will, of course because I shall NOT BE DRIVEN TO DEATH until I’ve read all the books in my TBR. So far my calculations say if I continue adding to my TBR like I do, I shall live to be 1,002. Should be nice. *
Despite my immortality plans, the fact of the day is I HAVE A LOT OF BOOKS I WANT TO READ AND NOT MUCH TIME TO DO IT. So I have to be somewhat picky about what I read, yes???? I can’t just read everything. Even when everyone else is reading it. Or if it’s just pretty. Or if it just happened to fall onto my face….
Okay so I have like 2% impulse control when it comes to books. I SAY I’m not going to read it because it doesn’t look like my thing or I didn’t love the author previously or blah blah blah…but fact: it doesn’t take much to make me cave and read it.
Today’s post is A LIST OF MY SHAME, BASICALLY. Here are 10 books I said I wasn’t going to read and — SURPRISE! — I ended up reading them. Sometimes this is a good thing! Sometimes I think someone needs to smite me with a shovel ** and say “CAIT LOOK AT THAT BOOK. YOU KNEW YOU WEREN’T GOING TO LIKE IT. WHY WERE YOU BORN WITH NO CONTROL OMG GO SIT DOWN??????” We will have a fun time in this post.
* As long as the apocalypse doesn’t damage my library or you WILL see evil rise. And it will be me. And even Armageddon will back off at that point.
** Look I say do this. But honestly if you try to hit me with a shovel I will either (A) set my dragons on you and believe me, I have many dragons, or (B) I’ll just cry because I’m a fragile and delicate flower actually and do you want to see my adorable face cry? No.
1. THE DIABOLIC
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: Because it looked super cliche. I mean, a story about a Girl Who Isn’t Human But Learns To Be Human??? YAWN. And I’d heard it compared a million times to The Hunger Games which is not something I want to be part of. Like, please people: stahp trying to redo The Hunger Games. It’s been done. MOVE ON.
WHY I DID READ IT: I didn’t realise it was set in space. I KNOW RIGHT?! I literally only read it because I was on Illuminae withdrawal and needed some spaceships in my life.
WAS IT WORTH IT: Actually yES. It was super stabby and Nemesis was like 50% an emotionless robot but also 50% a girl WHO LOVED HER DOG EVEN THOUGH SHE PRETENDED SHE DIDN’T. And it was so cute. Like explosions + stabbing + spaceships + insane emperor’s + cute dog = this is for meeeeee.
2. THE SUN IS ALSO A STAR
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: Because I’m a cantankerous crumpet, I didn’t like the author’s debut, Everything Everything. It had a lot of technicality plot holes and instalove and…errrrrrr.
WHY I DID READ IT: I like to give authors second chances! Because sometimes I love one book by them but not another, so IT’S WORTH THE RISK RIGHT!??! Also that cover, dude.
WAS IT WORTH IT: HAHAHHAHAHAHA. No. Remember how I had problems with in Everything Everything? Plot holes + instalove? Hmm. Here they are right now too. SHOULD’VE STUCK TO YOUR ORIGINAL “NOPE”, CAIT.
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: I’d seen so many disappointed reviews that said “NO PIRATAGE”. Well, actually no one used the word piratage because apparently it’s not a real word. But when have I ever let spellcheck teach me how to live my life? Never. REGARDLESS…a retelling of Blackbeard with 0% pirates = CAIT IS ON THE RUN.
WHY I DID READ IT: Ummmmm…so. The, um, cover…is…pretty.
WAS IT WORTH IT: ACTUALLY YES IT WAS!! It didn’t have a lot of pirate action, but I was prepared. And I actually loved the sass and the romance and the way the heroine meets the hero by smacking him with a bucket of oysters. #ShippingIt
4. HIGHLY ILLOGICAL BEHAVIOUR
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: Because it’s about social anxiety and agoraphobia and I deal with these quite a lot in my own life AND the only other book I’d read about it absolutely MOCKED IT and traumatised me.
WHY I DID READ IT: Because two trusted internet creatures I admire both said it handled the topic BEAUTIFULLY and there was no “cure culture” in it. And like, remember how I said I have 0% imupluse control? YA, MATE. I requested a review copy and KABOOM here it came.
WAS IT WORTH IT: Yes! Those trusted internet creatures WERE SPOT ON. It was (A) hilarious, (B) completely nerdy, and (C) focused on friendship and not romance, (D) totally respectful about social anxiety, and (E) actually a really really accurate representation that didn’t end in a “miracle romantic cure”!! WELL BLESS IT.
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: When it first came out back 187 years ago (okay fine, maybe not THAT LONG) most of the reviews I read said it was boring. Do you know who has the attention span of a vertically challenged peanut? ME. So I moved away from this book faster than I exit a room full of spiders (not that I’ve ever been in a room full of spiders because the universe has blessed my life).
WHY I DID READ IT: I actually haven’t got a clue. WHY DID I READ IT????? I’m wracking my brains. I know I found the audiobook and I like audiobooks….I have no memory of this place.
WAS IT WORTH IT: yES. It was hilarious! And featured a guy who was so nerdily obsessed with mass-murdering-psychopathic-super-heroes that I related to him on a spiritual level. Plus so many explosions. #nice
6. THE YOUNG ELITES
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: Because the author’s first book, Legend, didn’t really do anything for me. I mean, it was okaaaaaaaaay. But I never felt very motivated to read onwards.
WHY I DID READ IT: Well, it said “tHIS IS THE STORY OF A VILLAIN!!!” and if there’s two things that catch my attention instantly it’s (A) free cake, and (B) villain origin stories.
WAS IT WORTH IT: That would be a solid no. The so-called villain was about as scary as my LEFT EYEBROW (which to be fair can be scary because it knows no chill thanks to my Italian hairy genes) and I spent most of the book napping while my dog read out loud the dull paragraphs.
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: Dude, look at that cover. LOOK AT THAT NAKED BOY WITH TREE BRANCHES GROWING OUT OF HIS BACK. I was worried for his health and also thought I wouldn’t be caught dead by my family with that kind of cover in my hands.
WHY I DID READ IT: Um, well, this girl has genetically altered boys in her basement and I don’t know? I wanted to see what would happen with that??? Plus it had a character named Sam and I like the name Sam. #GoodReasonToReadObviously
WAS IT WORTH IT: Let’s just say, I could’ve lived without it and my life would not have been ALTERED. (Hahahhaah #punny.) It was 3-stars and kind of dumb but mildly amusing.
8. TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: What fluff is this. Do I read fluff? No. I read blood and dragons.
WHY I DID READ IT: I stumbled across a review that whispered the magical words “…I loved how much baking and cake appreciation was in this book...” and it was like BOOM. My entire attitude did a 180 flip and I WAS THERE LIKE A STARVED CAMEL WITNESSING LAKE SUPERIOR. (Which, FYI is the largest fresh water lake in the world. #TriviaMomentWithCait) I like food. I had to read it.
WAS IT WORTH IT: Yesssss. BECAUSE FOOD. But it was also delightfully quirky and fun and cute and FULL OF DESSERTS and I got so involved in the romance that I actually had an emotion and needed to sit down instead of cutting down planets in fire and blood and yadda yadda ya what evil world rulers do or whatever. If a book can make me pause my fearsome nature: the book is talented.
9. EVER THE HUNTED
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: I was originally really excited about it when it first graced my Goodreads dashboard buuuuuut…then I heard it was cliche and about as fun as a vegetable. SO. I cut it off my TBR.
WHY I DID READ IT: Because it came up on Netgalley????? And it turns out only 7% of my brain heard the memo of “WE’RE NOT GOING TO READ THIS” because I requested it and got approved (that in itself is a miracle) and read it exactly 2 days later. BUT IT’S SO PRETTY. WE HAVE TO MENTION THAT.
WAS IT WORTH IT: Nooooooooooooooooooooo. Because guess what? IT WAS SO UNFORTUNATELY CLICHE. And it was actual agony putting up with a special snowflake who was so dumb and a plot that was so tedious. Why. WHY didn’t I listen to my instincts. I’m sobbing.
10. CARRY ON
WHY I WASN’T GOING TO READ IT: So, ah haha hahahah, confession: you know how in Fangirl, Cath was writing fanfic and Carry On is the fanfic she wrote? WELL. I skipped all those sections in Fangirl because they were so dull. SO WHY WOULD I THEN WANT TO READ CARRY ON????
WHY I DID READ IT: Apparently the answer to the above question is: because it’s by Rainbow Rowell.
WAS IT WORTH IT: It actually was! After the initial 100-pages where it felt like badly summarised Harry Potter fanfic and it started to turn into an epic story with a TRAGIC PROTAGONIST WHOM I LOVED and the cutest ever romance. So forget everything I said about “always listen to your first instincts, Cait!” because my first instincts SUCK and I would miss out on so many excellent books.