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Paper Fury

I Answer My Blog’s Stupendously Bizarre Search Term Results (And Wonder About The Internet’s Sanity)

30th Dec 2016 by Cait @ Paper Fury 153 Comments (6)

i-answer-my-blogs-stupendously-bizarre-search-term-results-and-wonder-about-the-internets-sanity

You know what is endlessly amusing? SEARCH TERM RESULTS.

These are random phrases that creatures of the darkness people type into google and google suggests they read a Paper Fury post. (#nice) You can find them in your stats section for both WordPress and Blogger. (You’re welcome for that gem of information.)

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Sometimes they make sense….like people googling how to start a bookstagram account will find their way to my post about being fabulous on bookstagram.

But sometimes I have more of a “LOOK, MATE, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE BECAUSE NONE OF US KNOW” reaction. But at least it’s amusing.

I usually answer some crazy search term questions in my end-of-the-month-recap posts (BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY) but I haven’t done a recap for two months because (A) lazy, (B) cake distracted me, (C) I fell into my bookshelf and can’t get up, and (D) I just did a yearly recap post and there’s probably only so much recapping you can take before you STRANGLE ME WITH AN ANTIQUE TEASPOON. So today is for a crazy weird random post of marvellousness and I shall be answering my search term results.

I know everything. My answers are serious. I would not lie to you.

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search-term-results

“write tag all of us like chocolate”

Chocolate is actually the only reason a lot of writers can write. I mean, SOME don’t use chocolate, but they’re probably either (A) not human, or (B) in league with the darkness and not to be trusted.

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“types of wroters”

This is a very good question and I’m glad you asked. See there are many types of writers wroters. I’ll do a brief list for you just now, because I’m super helpful:

  • There are wroters who can’t spell.
  • There are wroters who procrastinate a lot and end up googling for other types of wroters instead of actually WROTING THEIR BOOK AS THEY SHOULD BE. #burn
  • There are wroters who make little typos and that’s okay because we all make typos. Sometimes I call myself Paper Fry instead of Paper Fury and this means that I’m a potato and not a force of blogging darkness and rulership. But do I let that stop me? No. Be a wroter, friend. Be a wroter and live your dreams.

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“lunar chronicles skulduggery pleasant fanfic”

That’s honestly not something I’m sure should exist. And if it did exist, you won’t find it on my blog because not only do I not write fanfiction, I’m concerned that Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Caine would just stride in there and explode the Evil Queen Levana after chapter 5 instead of being as diplomatic as Cinder & Co were and taking 4 books. It would be a very short fanfic. Perhaps three pages.

 

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“paperfiry”

I like to think of my personality as more “chill” instead of “firey” but you know what? There was this one time where I misplaced my cake and had to burn down 9 continents, 2 galaxies, and 43 garden beds to find it again.

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“paper furty”

Oh now you’re just being silly. My blog name is literally THE EASIEST THING TO TYPE. WHY ARE YOU STRUGGLING.

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“paper fary.com”

Look, mum, I’M A FARY.

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“paper fyry”

You know what? I probably shouldn’t whinge because I’ve spelled my name as “Paper Furry” (or was that my secretary dog catching up on comments for me?) and also “Paper Fry” like I said earlier because I am not human apparently. I am potato.

But still. Is it truly this hard?

 

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“fury of the paper”

This suits. I want this on a teeshirt. THE FURY OF THE PAPER™ IS COMING FOR YOUR SOUL.

 

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“eating paper fury”

No.

Look I’ve done some things I’m not proud of. I’ve had poor choices of gifs and reused the same jokes and I’ve stolen my sister’s bookshelves and I told someone I read Lord of the Rings when I really just skimmed it because Tom Bombadil made me want to join #TeamSaurman and smite all the things out of sheer boredom.

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN EAT ME. I WOULDN’T TASTE GOOD. I’M ALL EVIL AND STRINGY AND BITTER AND THAT’S CANNIBALISM.

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“enjoy and romance 16 year”

Well actually most 16 year olds don’t enjoy their romances. Because, I mean, at FIRST it’s all gooey eyes and exchanging flowers and that little fluttering in your chest which could be love or an oncoming stroke.

But then you realise the horrible things that come with romance and you DO NOT ENJOY IT AT ALL. For instance: your significant other suddenly wants you to share your chips with them??? They want to pick the movie???? They want to run during the zombie apocalypse and not throw knives???? They are actually the chosen one and that means you’re probably going to die a grisly death just hanging around them????? Enjoyment is just gone.

Stay single. Raise goats.

 

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“what happens to the body when one reads too much”

  • Your brain starts thinking for yourself — very bad. Do not recommend.
  • You get pins and needles in your legs because you forgot to move them for a while.
  • Your wrists have broken because you tried reading a 700-page hardcover because your mother didn’t teach you better.
  • You have no face because you dropped a book on it that time and now all you have is a void.
  • The book might start leaking words and ink on you so suddenly you have “KILL THE INFIDELS” imprinted on your elbow which could be awkward in family friendly settings.
  • You get hungry and if you don’t eat you might die.
  • Sometimes you develop magical powers or perhaps hooves, or a tail, or horns. This either means you’re a book devil. Or you’re a goat.
  • Most likely, if you read too much = you turn into a goat.

 

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“my girlfriend reads too much”

But that’s not possible?? I mean, the part about “my girlfriend”. Because if you keep typing things like this into google, you’re not going to have a girlfriend for much longer. Change yourself, fren. Change your whole soul.

 

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“what does reading soo many books disorder called”

The disorder is called “happiness” and definitely do not recommend contracting it. Ugh, no. You’ll be so uncomfortable.

 

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“what types of jobs are there for writers?”

  • Curator of The Pit of Despair
  • Part Time Nervous Breakdowner
  • Typo Queen
  • Confused
  • Pro Tweeter Because You Do That More Than Writing
  • Occupant of a Padded Cell
  • Broke Child Of Parents Who Regret Everything
  • Homeless Pigeon Under The Bridge
  • Imaginary Fire Queen
  • Goat Herder In Iceland

 

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“when i imagine people they dont have faces”

Same. But why do they need faces anyway??? I’d much rather have characters frolicking about in my imagination with black pits of the void across their head instead of facial features, wouldn’t you?

 

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“can excessive reading cause madness”

You’re not wrong. Particularly if you get involved in epic fantasy, because there’s a pact amongst these authors that they have to wait 9.8 years between novel releases so they can sit back and have a small cup of tea while watching their readers descend into madness.

 

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“i had telepathy”

DID YOU LOSE IT??? HOW COULD YOU BE SO NEGLIGENT??? GO FIND IT.

 

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“the weak get eaten wallpaper”

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This is true. Stay away from the walls. If you touch them, they will eat you and then you’ll become a disposable extra in Stranger Things and nobody wants that. STAY AWAY FROM THE WALLS.

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“intj villains”

  • Magneto
  • Professor Moriarty
  • Bruce Wayne
  • Twyin Lannister
  • Mr. Darcy
  • Maleficent
  • Artemis Fowl
  • Severus Snape
  • Me

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“erotic novels without romance”

I think you may need to look up what the word “erotic” means.

 

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“paper fury oh look! ima writer!”

I’M LOOKING!! I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! LOOK AT YOU GO, SWEET DARLING!! I shall cheer like that overly enthusiastic parent watching you play very badly at a sport!!

 

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“i fell in love with a warlock and he doesn’t know i even exist what do i do i need advice”

Sorry, I didn’t get the memo where I had become a dating-advice-service for those who are having problems with their warlock crushes. My secretaries must not have passed through that note.

Okay, dear, here’s the best advice I can give you: BECOME A WARLOCK TOO AND THEN BLAST HIM WITH YOUR NEWFOUND POWERS. It’ll win. You might both die but…I’m sure it’ll win and you’ll definitely get his attention.

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“im not opionated i just disagree with yr opions”

Same. It’s okay. Not everyone can be right like we are.

 

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“diverse sucks but sometimes diverse is way better”

I feel like you need to make up your mind because being both is confusing to all of us. I’m confused, you’re confused, your aunt is confused, your bookshelf is confused, your local brigade of ducks are all confused. Sort yourself out.

 

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“what is celaena and sams ship name”

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Titanic.

And no you little grape, this isn’t a spoiler. He’s dead before book 1 even starts. Romance is so hard when you’re a teenager.

 

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“just give me a reason online paper furious”

I would be 1000% cool if someone wanted to refer to me as Paper Furious at times. It just seems like a more formal version of my name?? So, you know, if you want to be respectful while I’m doing queenly duties or something: there you go, PAPER FURIOUS.

And I’ll give you a reason: cake.

It is the reason.

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“let me eat by myself pls”

I agree. So over these people who want to share food.

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“good bye ha need to ha go by eat how to block”

Are you eating a block??? You might need to seek professional help??? Unless it’s a block of cheese and then, yes, you still need help — and I volunteer to help you because I love cheese.

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“batman.in fury game”

I am actually batman. I have socks to prove it. Only Batman would wear socks like these so this is all the proof you need.

 

me-shelfie-batman-socks

 

CHAT

have you ever had amusing search term results for your blog?!? SHARE SOME WITH ME! how did i go with my answers? are they fair? when you imagine characters in books, do you imagine faces for them?? is “Paper Fury” really that hard to spell?? and do you share your food?? (important questions)

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  • 10 Things Book Bloggers Get Excited About (All Of These Are Rational For Sure)

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Comments

  1. Julia says

    30th Dec 2016 at 7:04 pm

    Oh my goodness! These are just hilarious, I certainly wish my blog had this option because I’d LOVE to see what people wrote. Also the person who had telepathy I WILL HELP YOU FIND IT BECAUSE THAT IS A VERY UNIQUE TALENT!!

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:12 pm

      Your blog does have the option! Just look under your stats. 😉 And yes can we help this person find their telepathy??!?! I need to know if they found it. I HAVE QUESTIONS.

      Reply
  2. Shanti says

    30th Dec 2016 at 7:22 pm

    This is a great and hilarious post. I want to be a wroter (sorta) I’m glad that there are so many jobs availible for us :). Most of my search terms come from people who want to make bookmarks because I did a how-to post a long time ago. But there’s also the peculiar ‘mountain lion claw marks on stone’ which ??? ‘blood bond symbol representation’, ‘reading all day’ ‘reaq sharpage’ (no, that is how they spelt it), ‘time decides everything quote images’ and ‘ingredients and method on haw to make a bookmark’ I just love that they call it ingredients. I LOVE YOUR ANSWERS. DO THIS AGAIN.
    Shanti recently posted…Why You Should Be Reading Right Now (and what to do about it)My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:14 pm

      There are so so many options for we wroters, thank goodness. We wouldn’t want to be wroting without a job now, would we? But omg “mountain lion claw marks on stone”??!!? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN BLOGGING ABOUT.😂 I find the spelling is almost the most amusing thing. I mean, forget education. Let’s just misspell everything and see where it leads us.😂

      (I will definitely have to do this kind of post again sometime!! SO MUCH FUN.)

      Reply
  3. Hana Bilqisthi says

    30th Dec 2016 at 7:27 pm

    OMG. Your search term is hilarious… XD I love how you can laugh it off 😀
    Thank you Cait for made me laugh again

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:12 pm

      Yayyyy I’m SO HAPPY it made you laugh!! *flails*

      Reply
  4. Victoria Scott says

    30th Dec 2016 at 7:43 pm

    This is FANTASTIC, I love it so much. Why are people searching these things in the first place, and why with such bad grammar? Did any of those make sense??

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:12 pm

      I ASK THESE QUESTIONS TOO.😂 It’s like spelling and grammar don’t exist for them??😂

      Reply
  5. msmedlock says

    30th Dec 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Hi, Cait!
    This. Is. Great. I lost it over the “I had telepathy” part. No, honestly. Did he/she lose it? But how? Did somebody drain all their powers? Kryptonite? Sea stones? Did they give it up voluntarily in the name of love? Why?

    I like the search therm section of my blog, although there are never any questions I could answer. Weirdly enough somebody came to my blog over “rubber boot goddess”, “cake base of death” and someone seems to love Spongebob’s “Imagination” because it comes up quite frequently. And I have no idea why. Why?!
    I tend to keep a little stack of food for guests so my Dad can’t accuse me of “hogging the food” and “being selfish”. But I do like to cook for other people so I guess I’m not that bad, am I?

    LG, m

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:11 pm

      I KNOW RIGHT?! Omg so many questions. I’ve really been left hanging here with so many of these requests. I demand a conclusion to the telepathy story.

      Rubber boot goddess?!?!? WHAT EVEN ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING.😂 I have hundreds of hits for “books about con artists” which makes me worried about how fond everyone is of thieving.😂

      I have been known to, um, hide food….but hey I have a big family and you do what you must to survive.

      Reply
      • Zaynah says

        1st Jan 2017 at 7:07 am

        I KNOW WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE!!! THERE IS LITERALLY BARELY ANY CHOCOLATE OR CAKE IN THE HOUSE AND WHEN THERE IS, IT USUALLY VANISHES…. SOMEWHERE. *looks around furtively because why not*
        Erm.
        I probably shouldn’t be keeping food under my pillow. And under my bed. And pretty much everywhere else. (BUT I HAVE TO BECAUSE CHOCOLATE. AND CAKE.)

        Reply
  6. Jane Maree says

    30th Dec 2016 at 8:08 pm

    These are all so hilariously crazy. xD And your answers totally made me laugh.

    I may or may not be one of those inhuman writer peoples who don’t use chocolate…
    Jane Maree recently posted…Q+A Vlog – woot woot!My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:10 pm

      WHAAAAAAAT. YOU EVIL CHOCOLATE-LESS CREATURE!!! *throws salt at you*

      (Just kidding.😂 This is actually good news because more chocolate for me.)

      Reply
  7. Kat @ More Than I've Been says

    30th Dec 2016 at 8:13 pm

    OMG LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW!!!! Like literally it’s 1 am and I’m hoping my siblings are sleeping through it but I’m about as quiet as hurricane Katrina right now so probably maybe not. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow?? AND I’LL JUST READ THEM THIS POST AND ALL WILL BE WELL.
    Like, how even do some of these happen?? I mean, why are you googling these things like you can’t even spell and don’t make sense or have a followable thought????? WHERE’S YOUR SPELL CHECK??? WHERE’S YOUR COMMON SENSE? AND WHHHHHYYYYYY THE HECK CAN YOU. NOT. SPELL. *PAPER FURY*?!?!?!?!?!?
    Totally off topic (the ship name google search reminded me), but I have been musing to myself over a ship name for Sean/Puck. I have not been able to come up with anything that didn’t sound like a word: Shuck? Pawn?? This is going nowhere good. What does one do in these situations? Make one up? Hereby declare that Sean/Puck be called Cobbanhaddren??? I got nowhere. Though I still don’t get googling ship names for a book you haven’t read… at least I’m assuming you haven’t, little frond, because otherwise…? I’m very worried.
    I theorize that a Wroter is someone who *was* a writer but then retired/quit/gave up/moved on. Now they are a wroter. It sounds good anyway.
    Also possible jobs for writers is becoming evil villain/world ruler/dark queen. This is my life ambition. I’m currently making my ten-year plan for my future outlining my takeover and rise to power. #goals Then I can also add myself to the list of INTJ villains in the Hall of Infamy (as recorded by Paper Furious). #multitasking

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:07 pm

      IT MAKES ME VERY VERY HAPPY THAT IT WAS FUNNY.😂 Because sometimes I secretly just wonder if my sense of humour is really insane haha. Ahem. But definitely laugh all you want. Siblings preferences don’t matter. #legit

      I don’t know how people don’t know how to spell or…like…what grammar is.

      Please not Pawn.😂😂 What about Kenelly??? Because Kendrick + Connolley, right?!??

      I think that’s probably a good definition of a wroter.

      Reply
      • Kat @ More Than I've Been says

        31st Dec 2016 at 5:47 pm

        THAT IS GENIUS. *waves hands wildly in the air* Hear ye, hear ye, Kenelly it is!

        Reply
  8. Prabhleen says

    30th Dec 2016 at 8:21 pm

    “Stay single, raise goats.” BWAAAHAHA. I laugh tons in your posts, but this has beaten every record. I think you should def. change your blog name to Paper Furry. Your dog would be a fan XD AND BATMAN IS THE BEST. I saw your batman t-shirt also sometime before. (Dunno where) my question is, are you secretly batman? And I asked you on your contact page (maybe you got it, dunno again) but you said that WordPress was spamming you and I didn’t get your comments since a long time, but I don’t know where spam comments are located! #help me please. And I fell in love with a warlock. HELP ME AGAIN. XD
    Prabhleen recently posted…EMOJI BOOK TAG!! (ALSO #BOOKHAUL)My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:05 pm

      If I change my name to Paper Furry, I can actually quit blogging and just let my dog run it while I get crushed pleasantly beneath my TBR. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA.😂

      And yES I have a Batman shirt AND Batman socks which only can mean I am Batman.

      Oh oh did you email me through the contact page recently???? I NEVER GOT IT. 😳 That’s so strange. I’ll have to check up on it and see if it’s still working. (You can shoot me a DM on twitter if that helps!)

      Okay so spam comments are just located in your comment section! I have self-hosted WordPress but I assume it’s the same as normal-wordpress? If you go to “comments” there’s a line of “pending” “approved” “spam” and “trash”. Just look through the “spam” ones. 🙂 Or type a name into the search bar and see what comes up.

      Reply
  9. Ailyn Koay says

    30th Dec 2016 at 8:36 pm

    what did I just read? oh god, if I had to burn down things for cake.. that would be sad, because i’m good at baking aka
    just bake another one
    AND! those who google your name wrong should be eaten by the evil wallpapers.
    Ailyn Koay recently posted…The Blood KeyMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:02 pm

      My blog name isn’t even HARD TO SPELL.😂 Ah, the internet. So weird. So wonderful.

      Reply
      • Ailyn Koay says

        31st Dec 2016 at 12:28 am

        typos create weird and wonderful things. Happy New Year

        Reply
  10. Kara says

    30th Dec 2016 at 9:24 pm

    So hilarious! I am so glad I subscribe to Paper Fury, so I don’t end up amidst these! I don’t have any keywords on my blog, maybe someday! I hope I am not doing something horribly wrong.

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:02 pm

      I’M GLAD YOU SUBSCRIBED TOO BECAUSE IT IS AN EXCELLENT LIFE DECISION. :’) (And I’m sure you’ll get search terms soon! Are you looking under your stats page?)

      Reply
      • Kara says

        30th Dec 2016 at 10:09 pm

        Yes, it says Search Keywords No stats yet, check back later. However, it does show what countries people are from and if they came through a link off twitter or something. Maybe I should start typing things in google? hehe

        Reply
        • Kara says

          30th Dec 2016 at 10:13 pm

          Nevermind *feels stupid* hehe.. I was just checking for the week, but I hit all time and some finally showed up, not as interesting as yours 🙂

          Reply
  11. Mahriya says

    30th Dec 2016 at 9:34 pm

    I was laughing throughout reading this and getting weird looks as I tried to hide my giggles! Ya know, Paper Fury isn’t that hard to spell and why are people talking about Skulduggery Pleasent with the Luna Chronicles? I’m slightly confused how your digestive system would churn through a block, but okay?And I am so confused at all on here? What is wrong with everyone’s English teacher and spelling tests?

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:00 pm

      Omg I know right?! I thought my name was actually super easy.😂 But apparently the internet is VERY challenged when it comes to spelling and now I’ve discovered I’m a fairy and what am I going to do with this information omg. *sprinkles fairy dust over the world*

      I want to know what’s going on with everyone’s brains.😂

      Reply
  12. Mieze Schindler says

    30th Dec 2016 at 9:36 pm

    Hey!
    I absolutely love your answer to the question of disorder. I thinkin future i answer it often to silly questions.
    Happiness <3

    I read you for a while and i love your posts.

    Lot of greets and a happy new year!

    Linda

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 9:59 pm

      Yayyy !! I’m glad you enjoyed the post.😂 THIS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY.

      Reply
  13. Joy @ Thoughts By J says

    30th Dec 2016 at 10:01 pm

    OMG I THINK I’VE JUST DIED HAHAHA. This is literally the best post I’ve read all year, now I’m super duper curious as to what search terms lead back to my blog.

    Nope, just checked…all very generic and boring. 😛

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:09 pm

      THIS MAKES ME EXTREMELY HAPPY THAT YOU LIKED IT.😂😂 But omg just wait…they’ll start googling for you by looking for “Thoughts for Q” or something because apparently blog names are very hard to spell.😂

      Reply
  14. Sonia @ The Book Wielding Harpie says

    30th Dec 2016 at 10:01 pm

    Good thing today is a very calm and quiet day, and the office is mostly empty because I’m laughing so hard and trying to keep silent at the same time that I have facial cramps and tears on my eyes!

    PRICELESS:

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:08 pm

      OMG THIS ABSOLUTELY MADE *MY* DAY. 😂😂 I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!

      Reply
  15. Utopia State of Mind says

    30th Dec 2016 at 10:06 pm

    This is so fun and totally wacky!
    Utopia State of Mind recently posted…Annual End of the Year Survey 2016My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      30th Dec 2016 at 10:08 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it!!😂

      Reply
  16. Lexie @ The Honest Bookclub says

    30th Dec 2016 at 10:35 pm

    Won’t lie, Cait – even in regular monthly recaps, these search queries are possibly my favorite part. Even if we’re mentioned by name in the recap – the search queries are STILL my favorite part. Because HOLY GOD, PEOPLE ARE HONESTLY SUCH WEIRDOS AND I AM 1000% JUSTIFIED IN LIMITING MY SOCIALIZING TO ONLY-IN-THE-DIREST-OF-CIRCUMSTANCES.

    They justify my worldview is what I’m saying.

    But also – I crylaugh. So there’s that, too. Like, I didn’t moisturize my face this morning and now I’m SOOO glad I didn’t, because my eyes would be stinging right about IMMEDIATELY. Like? Does anyone? Actually? Use Google like this? Here I am, trying to ask it reasonable questions or covertly phrase unreasonable ones in a faux-reasonable way, and THERE THE REST OF THE WORLD IS… TROLLING. And asking how best to eat blocks, apparently?

    Now the real question is: should I be concerned that our top search query is ANNOYING PEOPLE READING BOOK? I mean, we DO have posts about this – we love our rants. But IS THE INTERNET IMPLYING SOMETHING HERE? I HAPPEN TO THINK I READ IN A DELIGHTINGLY AND THOROUGHLY NON-ANNOYING FASHION. Except when readwalking and bumping into people. Or at family gatherings. Or when out with friends. Or… Okay, YES, YOU GOT ME INTERNET. THAT’S ME.

    P.S. -10 BROWNIE POINTS AND 3 MONTHS OF BAD KARMA FOR THAT SAM/CELAENA DIG. MY HEART!
    Lexie @ The Honest Bookclub recently posted…BIRTHDAY BOOKHAUL EXTRAVAGANZA (& OTHER HYPERBOLES)My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:33 pm

      I should do more posts solely dedicated to these then, right?!😂 WE ALL KNOW THESE ARE THE REASON EVERYONE PUTS UP WITH MY RECAPS AHHAHHA. Ahem. But seriously the internet is very much populated with weirdos. Probably why I am here. But still.

      I’m going to have to hope some of these are also bots?!? Or else I’m concerned.😂

      Duuuuude, the internet is trying to tell you something there. THAT’S ALSO HILARIOUS THOUGH.

      Mwahaha, I’m not sorry for my cruel Titanic references. 😈😈 Here let me give you a paper cut and pour lemon juice on it. #PrincessBrideReferencesFTW

      Reply
  17. Daley Downing says

    31st Dec 2016 at 12:03 am

    OH MY GOSH, Cait, you are so astoundingly astounding, you attract such ridiculous things, and HOW I HAVE LAUGHED this morning! 😀

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:28 pm

      I AM SO GLAD YOU LAUGHED!! And also…I probably shouldn’t be surprised I attract all the weirdos.😂

      Reply
  18. mikaela says

    31st Dec 2016 at 12:16 am

    What, I never knew this was a thing? I wonder if I can find mine. I’m a bit new, so I probably don’t have many, but it’ll probably be interesting to take note of in the future! 😄

    Hm, I can’t picture characters’ faces either, unless there’s been an abundance of fan art that exists of the characters and I’ve looked at it all because I’m mildly obsessed. Otherwise, the characters look super vague in my head. And I thought Paper Fury was really easy to spell when I googled your blog, but maybe autocorrect isn’t working? 😂

    And I definitely do share my food. I’m too greedy.

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:27 pm

      Yes! I do the same with fanart…or like movies. I’ll imagine the character to look like a movie actor after a while, or else they’re just BLOBS.😂

      And I’m glad you think Paper Fury isn’t that hard to spell, bahaha.

      Reply
  19. Madeline says

    31st Dec 2016 at 12:37 am

    THIS IS THE BEST. just the whole thing is so hilarious! i love it so much!! I don’t think Paper Fury is that hard to spell, and that’s coming from the type queen over here!

    chocolate is necessary for life in general as far as i’m concerned! (not just wroting) I do not share it. my chocolate is mine and mine alone.
    Madeline recently posted…book review // I’ll Give You the Sun (aka the most beautifully-written book ever)My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:27 pm

      Chocolate is the REASON THE EARTH IS STILL SPINNING. We all know this for fact. :’)

      Reply
  20. Antoched says

    31st Dec 2016 at 1:08 am

    Hi Cait!
    I used to check search terms results all the time to have fun with those things people search in google. Most of them were with my personal blog and some terms were ridiculouos and kind of freaky. People search very weird stuff in google.
    I think your answers were very helpful, I hope those who search all that stuff are satisfied. My absolutely favorites were your perspective on teen romance and body symptoms of reading too much.
    I guess when I imagine characters or even when I dream, people have blurry faces.
    I’m so Joey from Friends when talking about sharing food #MINE
    Antoched recently posted…Reseña: Sabor a tiMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:25 pm

      People on the internet ARE SO WEIRD that’s for sure. I…don’t even know half the time. Maybe they’re bots?!?😂 Let’s hope bahaha.

      (Food is just not worth sharing omg. It’s too delicious.)

      Reply
  21. Jen B says

    31st Dec 2016 at 1:45 am

    I don’t have any search terms for my blog.. which is probably good since I’m so random about what I’m writing about. You’re kind of hilarious you know. Ok, I’m off to bring 3 boys under 12 (my sons and a friend, not dates) to the movies. Wish me luck.

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:24 pm

      Good luck!! You will need it that’s for sure.😂😂

      Reply
  22. Cee Arr says

    31st Dec 2016 at 1:48 am

    My mother is giving me the ‘you escaped from Arkham, didn’t you?’ look again AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT! 😉
    Cee Arr recently posted…7 Hacks for Completing the Goodreads Challenge in the Final DaysMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:24 pm

      I TAKE FULL BLAME AND AM CACKLING EVILLY AND AM VERY PLEASED.😂

      Reply
  23. Graeae says

    31st Dec 2016 at 2:09 am

    Fury of the paper is the bestest. Do you have a artsy blogger who could draw it?

    Reply
  24. Uma @ Books.Bags.Burgers. says

    31st Dec 2016 at 2:20 am

    HILARIOUS POST AS ALWAYS CAIT!! I freaking laughed my ass off!! Such funny funny search terms.. And yes cait, I do think you are Bataman..cause the socks!! 😛 Dating service? God honestly what’s it with weirdo search results??? And let’s help the telepathy person find the power again cause telepathy!!!

    Also on a completely different note, some guy is replying to you on my blog O.o IDK what?! He first commented on some post of mine then went off and said something to you about your blog – https://booksbagsburgers.blogspot.in/2016/12/top-ten-tuesday-9-ten-best-books-of-2016.html Just saying so you can check it out. It seems weird to me -_-

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:23 pm

      Okay that is SUPER weird with that Vid Digger? And with a name like that, he seems he might be spam? I’d just keep deleting comments tbh. 😳 Sorry that had to happen to you! I don’t have a CLUE what that was about.

      And YAY I’m so glad you liked this post!! (The socks = proof of my Batman status obviously. There can be no denying now.)😂

      Reply
  25. Aj @ Read All The Things! says

    31st Dec 2016 at 2:25 am

    These are hilarious. Most of mine are people Googling “Read all the things,” which is really boring. I did once get “Gay boys in captivity.” Um . . . sorry, but I don’t have that type of blog . . . lost Googlers will have to look elsewhere for that.
    Aj @ Read All The Things! recently posted…Discussion: I Have New Year’s Resolutions! Do You?My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:20 pm

      Oh wow to that “gay boys in captivity” one?!? What on earth. 🙈🙊 Sometimes I wonder what the internet is trying to achieve….or if they’re all robots.😂

      Reply
  26. Lisa Canfield says

    31st Dec 2016 at 2:33 am

    oh my goodness HOW DO SO MANY PEOPLE NOT KNOW HOW TO WORD??? And how do some of those search results lead to your blog???

    Also, I need to know where your newfound obsession with goats came from.

    Reply
    • Deborah O'Carroll says

      31st Dec 2016 at 3:07 pm

      *sneaks into convo* A goat obsession requires NO REASONING TO IT! XD
      Deborah O’Carroll recently posted…Two Word Tags: Text + QuotesMy Profile

      Reply
      • Lisa Canfield says

        1st Jan 2017 at 1:08 am

        Okay, yes, there is truth in that statement BUT I’M SO CURIOUS XD

        Reply
        • Cait @ Paper Fury says

          6th Jan 2017 at 9:58 pm

          LOOK I HAVE TO AGREE WITH DEBORAH. GOATS OBSESSIONS NEED NO REASON.

          Reply
  27. Sarah says

    31st Dec 2016 at 3:07 am

    Aha – I knew you were batman! Who else could possibly love cake so much! But some of those search terms were great… baffling, but great! That Titanic Gif really made me smile 🙂

    I only got two strange terms on my blog. “Firelight” because yes, I like to read in rooms full of candles. And “Waterlogged” … Yes, I do indeed hate waterlogged books lol. People are indeed crazy 🙂

    Great post as always!

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:19 pm

      YES THE SECRET IS OUT. I AM 100% BATMAN. #legit 😂 (And I’m sure half of these are made by bots or something?! Because like WHO IS LOOKING THIS STUFF UP.)

      Reply
  28. Vid Digger says

    31st Dec 2016 at 3:25 am

    Hi, Cait! I’m a special kinda wroter. 🙂 Besides typos and grammar mistakes, I also see things that are not true and wrote, I mean write stupid comments. On your Blogger profile, I assumed some blog you followed “http://www.thebookchewers.com/” was yours. I tried to contact you via Uma’s last blog post to warn you that it’s sending it’s visitors elsewhere when they try to visit. But 2nd visit to your Blogger profile (with my glasses on this time), I see it’s not yours. Oops!

    I guess you can call that an “eating paper fury” moment, but it wont happen again. My wall paper is eating me!
    Vid Digger recently posted…The Cars – Just What I Needed – Live, The Midnight SpecialMy Profile

    Reply
    • Vid Digger says

      31st Dec 2016 at 5:37 am

      Uma defended you on her blog, slapping me silly. My fault for rushing to judgement blind!

      Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:19 pm

      I actually do partially own Book Chewers. 🙂 I used to co-blog there, but it’s been a bit dead for a few years!

      Reply
  29. jessica prescott says

    31st Dec 2016 at 3:35 am

    THESE MADE ME LAUGH INDECENTLY HARD.

    Are they fair . . . ? Very fair, I think. Yes, upon the whole, very fair. *nods judiciously* Perhaps funnier than they had a right to be, but #IAintComplaining

    “Stay single. Raise goats.” WORDS TO LIVE BY. 🙂

    Do I imagine book characters with faces . . . ? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. It honestly depends on the book itself; I have VERY vivid pictures of some characters and super fuzzy images of others, and there’s really no rule or pattern to it. On the whole, though, I’m not nearly as good at picturing book characters as I would like to be. Even in my own writing, I often can’t conjure up a mental image for my own protagonist and I have to rely on Google to bring me one. Which is HORRENDOUSLY frustrating, because I can’t get anywhere without a picture of my MC and yet it takes forever to find a suitable image sometimes. I have a friend who actually draws portraits of their characters; but I can’t do that. I’m not that good. #jealous

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:17 pm

      I’m glad you liked it!!

      That’s cool that you sometimes make faces for characters!! I’M SO SO BAD AT IT IT’S RIDICULOUS. Sometimes I give them hair colour? But more often than not, I even forget to do that. haha. I use pinterest for my writing, but generally it’s like “I’m picking this photo for him to look like because I’ve got nothing” instead of finding something to match a mental image.😂

      Reply
  30. Danya @ Fine Print says

    31st Dec 2016 at 4:15 am

    OMG “lunar chronicles skulduggery pleasant fanfic.” I’M DYING 😂 Much more amusing than the “my girlfriend reads too much,” because that is some hot garbage nonsense. Side-eyeing that searcher forever. 😒

    As for that second last one…I mean, I feel like “good bye ha need to ha go by eat how to block” must have been a search generated by a bot, right? Or maybe just a 12 year old going through their random penguin of doom phase, LOL.
    Danya @ Fine Print recently posted…Review: Den of Wolves by Juliet MarillierMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:16 pm

      Whoever searched the girlfriend one needs (A) a slap, and (B) I don’t think they deserve their girlfriend CLEARly. *flips hair* Sometimes I think all of these must be bots?! BECAUSE THEY’RE SO BIZARRE.😂

      Reply
  31. Kellyn Roth says

    31st Dec 2016 at 4:24 am

    I was laughing out loud … in the living room … disturbing my little brothers … who are watching Scooby Doo. *nods* Anyway, this is a brilliant beyond brilliant post because I just could not stop giggling …

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:16 pm

      YAAAS, THIS MAKES ME VERY VERY HAPPY.😂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!!

      Reply
  32. Sara says

    31st Dec 2016 at 4:38 am

    I don’t imagine them with faces. I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I’ve tried but their faces just don’t turn out right. Instead I see parts of their faces, like when being described or sometimes a facial expression. That is all I have to say my queen, Paper Furious.

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:15 pm

      *hi fives* WE ARE TWINS. Faceless and imaginationless twins.😂

      Reply
  33. Esther @ Queen of Fantasy says

    31st Dec 2016 at 4:44 am

    I love this. Maybe I laughed so hard I peed a little? Not saying I did…but not saying I didn’t either 😌
    Apparently I am useless at SEO because I DON’T GET A LOT OF SEARCH RESULTS?? Or I just don’t know where they are under my stats?? MoSt likely: WordPress is out to get me. Yes that must be it.
    Esther @ Queen of Fantasy recently posted…10 Things Joining the Online Book Community Has Introduced Me ToMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:15 pm

      YAYYY I’M GLAD YOU LAUGHED. 😂 #myworkhereisdone And omg I don’t even know WHY I get so many search results??! But I get crazy ones all the time. Aww, I hope you get some interesting ones soon though! It’s fun to laugh at them.😂

      Reply
  34. T. Gemmell says

    31st Dec 2016 at 4:56 am

    This is hilarious, through and through!
    “Stay single. Raise goats.” I can confirm this as solid advice. I’m allergic to cats, so I’ve taken the crazy goat lady route- and it’s worth the insanity.
    It’s also nice to see the batman socks return.

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:14 pm

      Crazy goat lady is honestly my new life plan. (I need that on a tee shirt.😂) YAY FOR THE BATMAN SOCKS. THEY RISE.

      Reply
  35. Dalindcy says

    31st Dec 2016 at 5:01 am

    This is honestly the funniest shit I’ve read all day. I know the feeling of the search terms that aren’t spelled right hahahahaha. People often find my blog by searching for ”danancy”.

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:13 pm

      It’s like nobody can spell these days, right?!😂

      Reply
  36. Rain @ Ivyclad Ideas says

    31st Dec 2016 at 5:02 am

    Why has Alec Lightwood been searching for your blog?! Shadowhunters have time to search the internet now?!
    The only search term my blog has ever had was so unbelievably normal…and they were also looking for a completely different blog with ‘ivy’ in the title so god knows why they clicked on mine. :’)
    Rain @ Ivyclad Ideas recently posted…The Best Books I’ve Read in 2016My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:13 pm

      Clearly Alec wants dating advice from me. AND LIKE I’M HERE TO HELP. #kind (Clearly there aren’t enough demons to keep them busy these days and they must blog??)😂

      Reply
  37. Nina says

    31st Dec 2016 at 5:42 am

    Why people ask that stuff …. it’s really weird 😀
    Nina recently posted…Balance de desafíos y propósitos 2016: FailceptionMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:11 pm

      I want to know how and why they ask this stuff too.😂

      Reply
  38. Lana says

    31st Dec 2016 at 6:40 am

    Oh my gosh, this was hilarious! 😀 I love reading about your search terms! Some of these just made me laugh out loud… I don’t have very main odd search terms for my blog, but I do have a couple… “words that ruben with world”, “i want to know my taira card by name,” and “productive”. That last one is clearly the most odd at all, seeing as it led to my blog….

    Actually, I really don’t imagine faces for characters in books…but I hardly imagine characters at all. They’re just floating personalities…oops. And I try to share my food, but it’s really hard, especially when it’s chocolate…. Also, I like your socks! They’re so sparkly! 😀

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:11 pm

      The productive one is so hilarious! And that’s like SUCH a broad term to lead to a blog?! Ahhh, the internet. It’s great AND YET SO WEIRD.😂

      Reply
  39. La Coccinelle @ The Ladybug Reads... says

    31st Dec 2016 at 7:09 am

    Erotica without romance? Technically possible, I think, but probably not very appealing to most folks. (By definition, all erotica has to do is arouse sexual desire. Without getting too graphic, there are plenty of things that could do that without involving romance!)

    Wroter. Hahaha…

    “good bye ha need to ha go by eat how to block” … I think this person has a problem. Not only are they not making any sense, but they seem to be laughing in the middle of being nonsensical. (Actually, they kind of sound like the Mad Hatter or something…)

    These are pretty funny. I checked my keyword stats, but the whole section was empty. I guess nobody searches for my blog! 😛

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:10 pm

      Okay that’s true…but it still is a WIERD thing to search and lead to MY BLOG?!?!? Like I don’t think I’ve even ever mentioned the word erotica!?😂

      And it does make sense how the person laughing in the middle of a nonsensical sentence came to my blog. THAT’S KIND OF MY AESTHETIC.😂

      Reply
  40. Vlora says

    31st Dec 2016 at 7:58 am

    I LOVE that section in your recaps and this was hilarious, fury of the paper.

    I just looked up my latest search engine referrals and like 50% are people googling things about bambi and typing tests (I did a post on why bambi is a horror movie and I did a post in which I reviewed typing tests because that’s what I do with my time). Apparently these are the top terms that direct people to my blog. Who would have thought those were the posts that would get me views hahaha. I’m sure all of those people were really disappointed. 😀 I think my favorite referral is someone googling “anything” and being directed to my blog, that just made me laugh. I mean I guess they got what they were looking for? :’D
    Vlora recently posted…A 2016 Review (Not the Dumpster Fire-y Parts) & Goals for 2017My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:09 pm

      I’M VERY GLAD YOU LIKED IT.😂 I should probably do this as a regular thing because it’s to fun too mock my search stats. bahah.

      Oohhh, you can be the official Bambi guru from now on!😂 And “anything”!? Seriously?! That’s so so broad a term but…that’s hilarious.😂

      Reply
  41. Maraia says

    31st Dec 2016 at 8:40 am

    Lol to you thinking of your personality as “chill.” 😂

    I was just waiting for “Paper Fart” to show up. Apparently I’m a 5-year-old boy.

    This was entertaining. Thanks for sharing!
    Maraia recently posted…[Top 10 Tuesday] Maraia’s Top Ten Best Books Of 2016My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:07 pm

      Shh, I’m allowed to live in my delusions.😂 (And honestly I was waiting for Paper Fart to show up too. It’ll be next year probably.😂)

      Reply
  42. Emily Mead says

    31st Dec 2016 at 9:01 am

    HAHA WHAT. Although, Stranger Things gif, A+++.

    Some of the things people come up with. I mean, that person is seriously going to lose their girlfriend if they’re not careful. And tbh I can see you as Paper Furious. I think it may be all the caps.

    Ugh, some are really relatable, though. I also have warlock issues.

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:08 pm

      WHAT DO YOU MEAN ABOUT THE ALL CAPS. I NEVER USE ALL CAPS TOO MUCH. *coughs awkwardly* Ahem. And doesn’t everyone have warlock dating issues these days?? It’s such a trial. *collapses dramatically*

      Reply
  43. Julianna says

    31st Dec 2016 at 9:06 am

    These search terms are hilarious! That search term about not having faces reminded me of the movie/book Coraline. Yeesh. Childhood horror memories…
    And whoever put that one about warlocks.. just. same. Except with fictional characters. Reading can be hard sometimes.
    Julianna recently posted…4 Ways Books Destroy Your LifeMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:07 pm

      Oooh, I loved Coraline! I need to see the movie sometime.

      Dating a warlock IS JUST SO HARD THESE DAYS. *sighs dramatically*

      Reply
  44. Alicia says

    31st Dec 2016 at 9:43 am

    I’m so glad I read this, I was having a bad day because the dry cleaner ruined my favorite pair of expensive pants but by the end of this post I was cracking up. I get some weird search terms but not nearly as fun as these. I actually really love these posts where you answer them. And Paper Fury isn’t that hard to spell, but some people are clearly incompetent. Try spelling Awesome Book Assessment over and over again- my 16yo self liked the repetition of A’s and S’s but it takes ages to type out my url when commenting on others’ posts. I decided that short and simple was much better for my second brand.
    As for your other questions, when I imagine characters just about the only things I imagine are gender and hair color/style. For some reason that’s what’s important to me and if I find out halfway through the book that it’s different from what I imagined, it’s all ruined for me. (Often I just stick with my original interpretation and ignore all subsequent descriptions.) So all writers should just state their descriptions as early on as possible so I don’t implode. I was reading this short story the other day where I was imagining this young man and didn’t find out he was actually an old man until like halfway through. Grrr.
    Also, no I definitely do not share food. Other things I am super generous with but not food and everyone knows it. It actually scares my mum, if she thinks (somehow) that I might possibly share the food I’m eating and goes for it sometimes if I am caught off guard I will literally snap at her and dive for the food to keep it out of her grasp. Most times I just stare at her like she’s lost her mind and she gets the hint.
    Alicia recently posted…Merry Christmas! 2016My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:06 pm

      Nooooo to the sadness that is your ruined pants, but YAYYYY THAT THIS POST STILL MADE YOU LAUGH!!! I feel accomplished now.😂

      (I would probably fail with Assessment and putting all the Ss in the right order. bahah.😂 But lowkey planning to rename myself Paper Fairy now because reasons.)

      Sometimes I remember hair colour, but honestly half the time I give them my own hair colour.😂 In the book I’m reading right now I just got REALLY surprised that a character dyed his hair blonde. Because I thought he was always blonde. #fail

      Reply
  45. Amanda George says

    31st Dec 2016 at 10:08 am

    This is the first blog post in about 500 years that made me laugh out loud more than once.
    I also don’t have anything interesting in my blog search term results… boo.

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:05 pm

      I’m so glad you laughed! THIS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY. 😂

      Reply
  46. Leah Heath says

    31st Dec 2016 at 11:10 am

    I don’t really like to share my food. I’ll share individual things with someone like Skittles, or popcorn, but if its like a burrito or a burger then no. I will not share a drink with someone either. TO MANY GERMS, I would probably die of dehydration than share a straw with someone. There are certain things that I will not share though, such as: Chocolate, Laffy Taffy, Bacon, and Sugar Cookies. Those are all my favorite things and I will be like a dragon protecting my hoard. Do you have foods that you are like that with? Do you share drinks with people? My dad thinks its crazy I will not even share a drink with my twin brother or my mom. Sometimes I imagine characters with faces, sometimes I don’t though. It depends on how I like their features. If they change so much I’m like, “Aw, now I have to change my whole outlook. Ah, well they stay the same in my mind.” I especially like features like red or white hair, scars, tattoos. I can never remember eyes though. Like he has blue eyes, “Okay, he has pretty eyes.” I like that features are expressed but sometimes if I’m not that into the story they are just a person in my mind. If the features weren’t in the story, there would be a huge chunk of the book, and I would miss it though. (P.S. “Paper Fury”, not that hard to spell:)

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:02 pm

      *nods* I would agree with this. Although, having small nephew/nieces in my life has surprised me on how tolerant I can be with having my food stolen. But my preference = STAY AWAY THIS IS MY VICTUALS AND I NEED THEM ALONE. (I refuse to share with my sister, so there’s that.😂) And nope…I don’t even share the same cups ahhaha. IT’S JUST EW.

      (I’m glad you think Paper Fury isn’t hard to spell.😂 Although 100% considering renaming myself PAPER FAIRY because reasons.)

      Reply
  47. Angel @ BookHearts Forever says

    31st Dec 2016 at 12:04 pm

    I haven’t done this.I will just go and see the search terms.Those wroters?! How dare they abandon and search for other wroters 😂 And YESS some people just do not get the happiness at all.I loved each and every answer.

    P.S. I won’t share my food at all if it has chocolate.IT’S MY CAKE <3

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:01 pm

      I 100% agree with you about chocolate cake. People who want us to share chocolate cake HAVE CLEARLY LOST THEIR MINDS.😂

      Reply
  48. Deborah O'Carroll says

    31st Dec 2016 at 3:04 pm

    I’ve been thinking I need to do an amusing search results answer post someday myself… though I don’t wanna steal or anything so would you mind terribly? *cough*

    “Stay single. Raise goats.” Oh my word, this.

    MR DARCY IS NOT A VILLAIN! :O

    That is all.

    Fun post and happy new year!! ^_^
    Deborah O’Carroll recently posted…Two Word Tags: Text + QuotesMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 10:00 pm

      Oh totally do it!! I’ve seen tons of blogs do this so it’s not an original idea by any means.😂

      (I got him off a list of INTJ villains! I haven’t actually read P&P…mostly because I can’t spell it haha. JUST KIDDING. 😉 )

      Reply
  49. Kelly says

    31st Dec 2016 at 3:19 pm

    I’m truly impressed by the number of ways to possibly misspell your site name, seriously the number of spelling quirks that can happen to less than ten characters…

    Also, P.S. I kind of want “Stay single. Raise goats.” on a T-shirt.
    Kelly recently posted…Review: AerieMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:58 pm

      I want “Stay Single Raise Goats” on a tee shirt now too.😂 I SHALL WORK ON THAT haha.

      Reply
  50. Hannah White says

    31st Dec 2016 at 3:41 pm

    Oh goodness. I giggled and snorted so much reading this XP SOME PEOPLE. Like … what EVEN?!?
    Hannah White recently posted…Embrace ItMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:57 pm

      I know right?!? WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING.😂

      Reply
  51. Aine says

    1st Jan 2017 at 3:27 am

    I got one about paving (like, roads) once. I still have no idea how they found my blog, because I don’t even think I’ve ever even used the word paving. I get a lot about typewriter repair, too, which makes a bit more sense but still…not a lot. My favorites though have to be “my touch is lethal, no wait scratch that, ‘my touch is power” or “10 possible things that residents can do when they are angry”.

    Yours, though, put mine to shame in terms of weirdness.
    Aine recently posted…End of the Year Survey | Because I Read A Lot of Books And Apparently You’re Interested in ThatMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:57 pm

      Pfft. Obviously your blog is like ALL ABOUT paving roads. And if it’s not, it should be. #InternetLogic But dude the “my touch is lethal, no wait scratch that” is basically the best thing ever and I would write a book around that.😂

      Reply
  52. Olive says

    1st Jan 2017 at 4:40 am

    HAHAHAHA!!!! XD
    hey…..I wanted to join tom bombidil and stay out of the danger. HOW DARE YOU!! >:[
    Most crazily, ~Olive

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:56 pm

      Fair enough.😂 You can stay with Bombadil and I’ll team up with Saurman or something.😂

      Reply
  53. Amanda says

    1st Jan 2017 at 6:42 am

    So my blog’s name is South Kakalaki Girl (don’t try to pronounce it, your tongue may chop itself off; I was 11 when I named my blog so INFINITE SORRIES TO THE WORLD) and thus it’s ALWAYS MISPELLED. Here’s a few funny search terms for my blog:
    “skgw” — NAILED IT
    south kakalakin girl — ONE LETTER OFF ALMOST THERE
    ofskg – WHAT IS THIS
    south kakilaki — NO JUST NO I’M SO HURT
    κακαλακησ — RUSSIAN. THAT’S ALL I CAN SAY.
    who are the kakalaki of our comummunutty — My community is nutty = comummunutty
    aw snap it’s a musical throwdown austin and ally — JUST WAHT
    dory and nemo scared — They’re probably scared of you
    happy mothers day to your mom — Yes, I think mothers day is for your mom
    skg photoshop — Because me and photoshop are almost synonymous
    what are some nice things to say to your mom for mothers day — HOW ABOUT . . . HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY
    lipsmacker chocolate dipped banana — That sounds disgustingly good.
    i am unlucky person — Aw, so am I, friend.
    stuff in rachels bag — EXCUSE ME THAT’S SO PERSONAL WAHT
    grocery store desserts — Icecream. Cake. Popsicles. Just go to a store and find out.
    feel dumb game show — That would be me on a game show.
    ears pears 101 — Because we all know ears are shaped like pears.
    girls lattering video — I have very few talents, but I JUST LOVE TO LATTER.

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:56 pm

      Ahhhhh I LOVE IT! And omg you definitely suffer worse for me for misspelled name. (But I mean, how hard is Fury to actually type?!)😂 And your search terms are equally hilarious omg. I’m loving “lipsmacker chocolate dipped banana” because…yum.

      Reply
  54. Brianna da Silva says

    1st Jan 2017 at 9:12 am

    This post was so entertaining.

    “Stay single. Raise goats.”

    *snorts out loud*

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:55 pm

      I need that on a teeshirt honestly.😂

      Reply
  55. Kate Marie says

    1st Jan 2017 at 10:00 am

    OHMYGOODNESS, CAAAAIIIIITTTT!!! I have said this so many times… But you make me laugh so hard! And this post was the best thing ever, because the “search term results” is MY FAVORITE PART of your monthly recaps, so #yes. Thank you for this.
    Kate Marie recently posted…2016 Character Awards!My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:54 pm

      THIS IS ACTUALLY THE BEST THING OF EVER. HERE IS CAKE FOR YOU MY FRIEND AND THANK YOU.😂

      Reply
  56. Lauren @ Always Me says

    1st Jan 2017 at 1:33 pm

    We INTJs are in good company! 😀

    The weirdest one I’ve had this month is “walmart belly rings moon light blue” – seriously. Sometimes I just don’t know what to think any more…

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:54 pm

      *INTJ hi five* 😂 And omg that is SURELY the weirdest search term of ever?!? Sometimes I wonder what the internet is doing….😂

      Reply
  57. Anna @ Adventures with a Book Nerd says

    1st Jan 2017 at 5:58 pm

    “what is celaena and sams ship name”

    “Titanic.”

    Cait you are BRUTAL! But that was really good, you made me laugh, Miss Furious. Yes you did. 🙂 I’ve never searched through the search term setting on my blog, but I might have to now. 😉
    Anna @ Adventures with a Book Nerd recently posted…2017 Reading ChallengesMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:53 pm

      YES I WAS PRETTY MEAN RIGHT THERE.😂 But I couldn’t resist. And YES definitely look through search terms if you need a laugh sometime.😂

      Reply
  58. safah - too busy looking up says

    1st Jan 2017 at 11:07 pm

    I. LOVE. THIS. FARIES FOR LIFE. *wipes tears and wonders why she’s neglected reading your blog for so long* *remembers college* *cries*

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:52 pm

      OH HELLO STRANGER. HAS COLLEGE EATEN YOU? *gives you cake to make up for it* And let’s all be fairies. That’s the way to be, honestly. :’)

      Reply
  59. Chrystal says

    2nd Jan 2017 at 12:17 am

    You are one of my favourite bloggers to follow. Your posts make.me happy.

    LIKE THIS:
    “what does reading soo many books disorder called”

    The disorder is called “happiness”
    😉

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:51 pm

      Awww, Chrystal! THANK YOU. This totally made my day. *sniffles happily*

      Reply
  60. Annemieke says

    2nd Jan 2017 at 12:54 am

    This is brilliant, Cait, haha.
    Annemieke recently posted…Dancing Out of December 2016My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:51 pm

      I’m so glad you liked it!😂

      Reply
  61. Erin @ The Book Archive says

    2nd Jan 2017 at 10:25 am

    How many people misspell Paper Fury? I mean, is it really that difficult? But in all seriousness, this is the FUNNIEST FREAKING POST I have read in a long time. I mean, I disappeared from blogging for a while and I haven’t been reading many posts at all lately but MY POINT STILL STANDS. And as an aspiring writer, I definite have the Part Time Nervous Breakdowner part down, but I’m still trying for Imaginary Fire Queen. Awesome post, Cait!
    Erin @ The Book Archive recently posted…Hello, 2017My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:50 pm

      Ahhhh welcome back to the blogging world, Erin!! *gives you cake* And also OMG I’M SO GLAD YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. My day is made. :’) (And also apparently Fury is SUPER hard to spell.😂)

      Reply
  62. Molly @ Molly's Book Nook says

    2nd Jan 2017 at 12:26 pm

    HAHAH I loved this. Now I’m curious. I need to look! I will say, though, that almost every time I type the word fury it comes out FURTY. It’s always A COURT OF MIST AND FURTY for me. I DONT KNOW WHY.
    Molly @ Molly’s Book Nook recently posted…7 Lessons About Blogging I Learned This YearMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:50 pm

      A Court of Mist and Furty…OMG THAT IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD.😂😂

      Reply
  63. Bee @ Quite the Novel Idea says

    3rd Jan 2017 at 3:12 am

    Hahahahaha XD These are hilarious. XD
    Bee @ Quite the Novel Idea recently posted…Bee Reviews THE HUNDRED LIES OF LIZZIE LOVETT by Chelsea SedotiMy Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:49 pm

      YAY I’M GLAD YOU THOUGHT SO.😂

      Reply
  64. The Tempermental Writer says

    3rd Jan 2017 at 7:18 am

    HA! This is hilarious. You really nailed those answers. Doubly amazing cause you used the cannibalism quote which I say ALL THE TIME. … I guess that’s kind of concerning as it kind of says something about how much we talk about cannibalism in our house…

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:49 pm

      Omg I use that quote ALL THE TIME too in my house!! I don’t even know why?!? Everything about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is hilariously quotable.😂

      Reply
  65. Meaghan Walsh Gerard says

    4th Jan 2017 at 1:58 am

    Hahahahahahahahaha! These are so funny! Mine are not nearly so strange but here are a few:
    “how is train trip from dc to savannah”
    “butterfly wings designer”
    “landed gentry in louisiana greenwell”
    “what does a baseball card look like”
    “a gypsy fire is on the hearth” (sounds inconvenient)
    “can books be checked out from one live oak library and dropped off to another in savannah” (spoiler alert: yes)
    “puckridge tickling”
    “hunted house limehouse ontario”

    What a great idea for a post. I may “steal” it sometime. 🙂
    Meaghan Walsh Gerard recently posted…Top Ten Books for the First Half of 2017My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:49 pm

      What on earth is “puckridge tickling”?! PEOPLE ARE SO WEIRD.😂😂 I loved seeing yours, and yes! Totally do a post like this too, heeh.

      Reply
  66. Brittany says

    4th Jan 2017 at 3:27 am

    “THAT’S CANNIBALISM” omg I’m dying ahahahaha XD

    This post was so hilarious, it made me burst out laughing at work. THANKS FOR THAT. My boss wasn’t thrilled ;P

    Brittany @ Brittany’s Book Rambles
    Brittany recently posted…Top Favorite Books of 2016 & 2017 Recs!My Profile

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:48 pm

      I’M REALLY GLAD IT MADE YOU LAUGH.😂😂

      Reply
  67. Melissa's Eclectic Bookshelf says

    4th Jan 2017 at 5:08 am

    Please don’t let them eat you! I need the funny you provide!!!

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:45 pm

      I WILL DO MY BEST TO STAY ALIVE.😂

      Reply
  68. Elizabeth Anne says

    4th Jan 2017 at 5:45 am

    This is actually the best thing in the world xD I laughed way too hard while reading this

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      6th Jan 2017 at 9:44 pm

      I’M SO GLAD.😂

      Reply
  69. La La says

    7th Jan 2017 at 3:22 am

    I think you may have solved my problem. I think I am a wroter and not a writer! Maybe knowing this will help me get more wroting done this year. You know, if there is erotica with no romance I might be convinced to read it. Ha ha. My favorite search term for my blog was “phew, I’m glad that’s over”, heheheh. XD

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      7th Jan 2017 at 9:12 pm

      YAY FOR WE WROTERS. Obviously this is the correct term.😂

      Omg “phew I’m glad that’s over”!??! That’s hilarious.

      Reply
  70. Kenzie says

    9th Jan 2017 at 8:47 am

    I am literally dead. I could not stop laughing while reading this, and I had NO clue you could see what types of things people type in to get to your blog?? That is AMAZING!!!! But seriously, this whole post just made my day with its perfectness, bahahahahahaha!!! 😂😂😂

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      9th Jan 2017 at 7:13 pm

      I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!😂 These kind of search results never fail to amuse me to hahaha. The internet can be…strange.😂

      Reply
      • Kenzie says

        11th Feb 2017 at 2:53 pm

        It most certainly can. Gotta love the internet, am I right???

        Reply
  71. Evelina says

    12th Jan 2017 at 2:12 am

    The writer jobs xD soooo good!

    I only wish my blog was big enough so I could see the search results. So far there is not enough traffic for that, as you know that like 90% are always “unknown” keywords and the like. Blast Google and their 2011 update xD can you imagine what kinds of crazy queries you’d see if you saw ALL of your search terms? 😀

    I actually know where that one about imagining people with faces might have come from! There was one post of yours where you said that you can’t imagine a lot of characters as real people with a lot of detail. Google probably linked you because of that 🙂
    Aside from that though – there ARE people literally can’t imagine things. I mean, can’t visualize at all. Reading books is really hard for them cause they only have a black void when they close their eyes. I’ve read an article about it and I was plain terrified :0 apparently, some people who suffer head trauma especially as a child get this.

    Also, just so you know, I am completely on the same front with you when it comes to Tom Bombadil.
    Evelina recently posted…This is me joining Mount TBRMy Profile

    Reply
  72. Hailey says

    4th Apr 2017 at 12:33 pm

    I’m super late here obviously, but I am laughing SO hard! Thanks for making my night!

    Also, I’m clueless, so tell me this: is there a way I can subscribe to your blog by email, Cait? I NEED more sarcasm and books and cake in my inbox. =)

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      4th Apr 2017 at 7:51 pm

      AHH THANK YOU!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it.😂 And yes! If you go to the main page and scroll to the end, there’s options to subscribe by email or bloglovin’ or wordpress. Thaaaaanks. <3

      Reply
  73. Kyla Ashley says

    11th May 2017 at 9:13 pm

    Hello I am new to your blog so I am a naive potato on all things Cait / Queen of the Darkness / Dragon. What do you do with the books you write? Do you publish them – either actual publish or Wattpad ect. Also, I DMed you on Instagram but I am extremely impatient so I WANT TO START A BLOG BUT I AM TOO STUPID TO CREATE A WEBSITE HOW DO YOU ACTUALLY DO THAT?!?

    Reply
    • Cait @ Paper Fury says

      13th May 2017 at 9:23 am

      Hi Kyla!! WELCOME TO THE MADNESS OF PAPER FURY. *gifts you welcome cake* I’m not published yet, but hopefully someday!

      Reply

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