When it comes to convincing me to read a certain book, it’s just too easy.
All you have to do is whisper promises of certain types of bookish topics and — BOOM — I have been summoned like an overexcited (yet adorable) wraith of the darkness and WILL NOT LEAVE without the book in my clammy claws.
“But the real question, Cait,” you say trying to be patient with my adorable yet deadly newfound wraith status, “is what are these certain bookish topics you speak of????”
Yes yes, calm your pineapple fronds, I’m getting to that.
The good thing about me * is that I’ve read an enormous amount of books so I know what I like. The second I get a whiff of one of my Favourite Topics of Ever — I am so there. Like instantly. These topics just set my world on fire instantly ** and steal my soul and I will marry them at dawn and immediately and right now.
Today I’m listing types of books that I’m 100% a sucker for. No questions. No blurb reading necessary. *** Just give them to me omg.
* Although I full admit there are many good things about me, including my ability to crack eggs one handed and lift 24 books at a time.
** This is figurative fire, by the way, because fire + books = bad. Don’t do it, kids.
*** Who even has time for blurb reading?!? Sheesh. I look at covers and topics and then I fly off into the sunset with unrealistic expectations AND THIS CAN’T POSSIBLY GO WRONG.
Today’s Top Ten Tuesday prompt is “Top Ten Tuesday REWIND” which basically means I CAN DO WHAT I WANT and embrace my inner Loki and wear my crown and strut about with no rules. So basically what I normally do.
PS. There may accidentally be more than 10. Definitely accidentally.
- FOODIE FICTION. Is this a legit book genre/category? Because if it’s not it will be my #1 priority when I take over the world to make it so. I love books that can make me hungry. IT IS MOSTLY THE REASON I’M A BOOKWORM. I demand books include scrumptious high teas and crumpets and cake and tacos and lasagna and the occasional wild pudding. You better believe that if a book has “cake” in the blurb — I AM THERE.
- ARR, ME PIRATEY HEARTIES. By the way: where are all the pirates?? Because I don’t see them enough in current YA and this pains my notoriously piratastic soul. In my youth my Top Career Choice was pirate, actually. (There’s still time, I suppose.) ANYWAY. Bring on the dashing sassy roguish pirates please and thank you.
- DIVERSE FANTASY CULTURES. Basically if a fantasy book says, “Excuse me but hello and my name is Not Set In Medieval Britain” I AM SO SO INTERESTED. There are 196 countries out there (if you count Taiwan, which apparently some people don’t which I think is rude; #PoorTaiwan) and I want to see moooooore of them in books. India! Mozambique! Russia! Iran! Please!!!
- STABBY STABBY. Basically books that promise assassins have already got me disturbingly excited. It could be a problem, quite honestly. But let’s not dwell on that. I basically am insta-in-line for books that involve sharp objects and plenty of blood.
- CRIME AND MAFIA FAMILIES. A family that steals together, stays together! Maybe. Probably? Actually I have no idea because all of the crimey families I’ve read about (White Cat? All This Could End?) generally end badly BECAUSE CRIME IS WRONG, KIDS. DON’T STEAL. Unless you are a sassy thief master in a book because then I want to read about you. If a book even whispers the phrase “masterthief” then I’m in love.
- MAGGIE STIEFVATER. This is definitely a “type” of book, okay? Don’t even doubt me right now. If a book is (A) by Maggie Stiefvater then I am 1000% over it and probably a ridiculous puddle of deranged guacamole in anticipation, or (B) the book has Stiefvaterish “vibes” to it…then see aforementioned guacamole metaphor. (Although quite honestly, exactly zero books have ever come close but at least The Darkest Part of the Forest, Bone Gap, and The Accident Season came pleasantly in the same vicinity. Picture Maggie Stiefvater books as a double-layer chocolate cake. Then these books would be like cute little cake-pops.)
- SASSMASTERS. You only have to say, “Cait, by the way, this book has a sarcastic character –“ and HELLO I AM RUNNING AWAY FROM YOU AND RUNNING TOWARDS THE BOOKS. I will cross continents and swim deserts and hike oceans to get there. I am so notoriously addicted to humour. The sassier the better.
- GOOD VILLAINS AND EVIL HEROES. Okay, hold on a second, I know you’re probably thinking I’ve well and truly lost it this time. Which is true. But that’s not the point. THE POINT IS — I love villains who do unexpected good things, and heroes who make darkly dangerous decisions. I particularly like when heroes go dark side. Bless them. Dark cookies for us all.
- ROYALTY SHENANIGANS. I do so love lost-princes/princesses particularly. I don’t know what it is about royalty that makes them go missing all the time??? (Invest in kiddie leashes, yo.) But anything to do with THE ROYAL ONES I love a ridiculous amount. I love reclaiming thrones and fighting over thrones and thrones in general, basically. In fact, I want one.
- SPECIFIC MINORITIES. Because I’m also a writer and my #1 source of research is = reading fiction. I’m a delicate flower, okay? And story-based-research is all I’m good for. SO! When I get obsessed on specific minority topic, I just hone into ANY BOOK OF EVER that deals with it. Currently I am all about books on (A) deafness, (B) schizophrenia, and (C) Autism. I will literally scroll Goodreads endlessly and howl like a particularly cute, desperate puppy until I find books on these topics. (Give me recommendations if you have them!)
- DRAGONS. This is obvious. I am dragon obsessed. And you know how many dragon books I’ve read? A PITIFUL AMOUNT. LIKE 4 OR 5. So whenever I hear a whisper of a newly-released dragon book you better believe what I am doing. (Spoiler: hugging the book.)
- CLASSICAL MUSICAL BOOKS. Because there aren’t enough books about violinists and cellists and concert pianists. I’m exactly 3% interested in guitars and teenage angst bands (excluding a spare few books) but GIVE ME CLASSICAL INSTRUMENTS. In fact, yes do give them to me. I can play violin, cello, and piano, and I need new strings btw. Feel free to fund.
- SHERLOCK RETELLINGS. Because hello genius mastermind with deduction abilities and complete social ineptness. Be mine. All of them. Ever.
- MONSTERS. Yes I am aware half my list involves THE DARK SIDE. Nothing to be concerned about here. Hahhahahha ha ha…ahem. But seriously, monsters are awesome. ALL KINDS. Nightmares, hiding-under-your-bed, evil mythological creatures, etc. etc. I’ll have them in any form, basically, darkly, angrily, adorably, in cages, free-range, even organic. Just give me monsters.
- LIBRARY SETTINGS. Because books about books are on top of all the rest, okay? There is NO WAY a book set in a library can go wrong. #bookishinception Plus I can live vivaciously through this because I, obviously, wish to live in a library. When I grow up (which is not yet, because just no) I’m going to live in a house ENTIRELY FULL OF BOOKS. Every room will be a different genre. The kitchen will be the fantasy room because that’s the strength of my cooking skills.