I won’t deny it: a book genie would be an intensely handy thing to have around. So if I took a wild excursion to the magical realms* where genies resided and if I maliciously kidnapped** one to grant all my bookish wishes…this is what I’d ask for.
* Where do genies live anyway? Narnia? Hogwarts? Antarctica? I will fight the penguins to get myself a genie.
** I’m kidding. I’d be kind! I’d feed it lemon cakes!
This Week’s Prompt: 10 Wishes I’d Ask The Book Genie To Grant Me
I AM NOT MESSING AROUND, FOLKS. Preferably it’d be a 6 figure book deal for an 8-book series, and then everyone will love it so much afterwards publishers will clamour to buy everything I’ve ever written and I’ll be so monstrously famous I’ll own my own private planet and wear a concise emerald crown and get around by riding on the backs of large penguins whilst sharing my gloriousness with all.
I’m sure everyone has dreams like this.
Because, please. I need The Raven King. (I also need a cover reveal for The Raven King. When is that happening?!) I think Maggie Stiefvater is infinitely amazing to put so much detail and effort and beautiful genius into her books that I don’t even MIND that she’s taking longer with The Raven King. Her books are NEVER a disappointment! BUT. I would like, perhaps, for there to be 9 Stiefvater clones so we could have 9 books per year.
March. 2016. is. too. far. away.
I have, um, run out of shelf space quite severely. BOOK GENIE. HEAR ME! I NEED HELP! There are nearly more books on top of my shelves than in it. And I don’t WANT to stack books in my wardrobe because half of the gloriousness of books is petting them and starting at them and occasionally sniffing them. I can’t hide them away!
I’ve suggested to humans in my household that we could just get rid of all the useless furniture (like tables, chairs, lounges, etc) and put bookshelves EVERYWHERE and have an incredible library. I get rebuffed. Everyone is so unimaginative.
Why don’t book orders come with complimentary pizzas? If I had a genie, I would have him fix this worldwide problem. While we’re at it…complimentary icecream cake and tissues and would be useful.
Peoples, I want a castle. I ALSO WANT A READING NET. I want to be able to climb onto a ceiling and throw myself onto this net, hopefully bounce and then settle down for nine years to just read books. I will probably need to wear a Spiderman costume while I read, but this won’t be a problem as I hear masks are terribly comfortable.
I’m trying to read EVERY BOOK OF EVER. You know how hard this is?!? I can read 30 books a month and still be behind. It’s a losing battle, to be honest, and immortality would help with this rather a lot. Or else publishers could PAUSE for a moment while I catch up. Writers could be wonderfully helpful and pause too! Except George RR Martin. He’s lost all pausing privileges.
Is this cheating?! BUT IT’S A BOOK GENIE SO IT CAN’T BE CHEATING. I love books, okay? I swallow books whole. I like them a lot…and I don’t have very much money to buy them. Says every reader ever, I knooooow. But Australia doesn’t publish half the books that America does. Netgalley dislikes me because I am Australian. And my library is allergic to buying new books. WHAT IS THIS READER TO DO BUT GNASH THEIR TEETH AND WAIL?
So, book genie, I would like all the ARCs of ever, yes please and thank you.
Now you probably know that I’m quite an avid book photographer. And while I have a camera I’m monstrously happy with (Nikon D300) I would absolutely wish my book genie to bring me some props! One of those rustic wooden backdrops would be nice. Also the ingredients to take completely white-backround pictures. (I don’t even know what those ingredients are, but my book genie will.) OH. AND WHILE WE’RE AT IT — my book genie will be a photography genius (har har, genie…genius….) and will teach me how to use my camera on manual mode. I will be the best book photographer of ever.
Whoever said “Adulthood sucks, let’s bring back colouring-in books for humans who can’t art” is a genius and I love them. Also whoever said “let’s turn Game of Thrones into a colouring in book and sell it with only one red crayon” is also a genius and I want one of those colouring books too. (I don’t actually know if they’re only selling it with one red crayon, but they should.) I basically want all the geeky literary adult colouring-in books.
Basically EVERY novel published should come with a complimentary colouring-in book. My book genie, who is also a talented artist, will see that this happens.
I’m so ready to colour Red Rising. I’ll still only need that one red crayon.
What if I don’t want to be a “bookworm”??! WHAT IF I WANT TO BE A BOOK DRAGON!? I relate to dragons far more than worms, since dragons they…
- like shiny things (hello shiny book covers)
- horde treasures by sitting on them (I do this all the time with books basically)
- get angry when people steal their treasures (I do not lend books)
- breath fire (I definitely do this when ranting about a book)
- eat annoying people (I do this all the time, except for 3 days of the week which are my designated days to be “nice”)
Basically I propose we ALWAYS use the term “bookdragon” now instead of “bookworm”. The genie will see to this as a world wide change.
if you had a book genie what would you ask for?!! do you like any of mine?! tell me a book publishing next year that you want right now. oh oh! and do you want a reading net?!