WELL. It’s that time again…yes, you know what I mean. Time for me to have a little rant with #minireviews (with their bite sized deliciousness) of various books I haven’t loved lately. I always feel rather grumpy when I dislike a book because I want to like all the books!
But I don’t. So here we go.
THE ALEX CROW by Andrew Smith
Thank you Hardie Grant Egmont AU! Published May, 2015.
Goodreads Purchase Hardie Grant Egmont
Either I’m incredibly stupid, or this book is. And I’m pretty sure I’m awesome, sooo I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this book was weeeeird. I spent the entire time thinking, “WHAT AM I MISSING? WHAT IS THIS?” It felt like the most random combination of words in the English language, stuffed into a book, and sprinkled with sci-fi. But seriously, I have no idea what the actual heck this book is.
I originally wanted to read it because I thought it was about the Middle East. WRONG. Well, the main character, Ariel, is from the middle East and survived a massacre. But he’s been adopted into a family in America and (along with his adopted brother) goes to this really weird “camp” to get away from technology. They basically hike and chop wood and hate everything. And their hormonal little pitiful brains reside in the gutter and make me despair of humanity’s intelligence.
I don’t even know how to explain the weirdness of the writing. Some chapters were from the 1800s (?!) and some chapters were just a convoluted mess of the alphabet that had nothing to do with Ariel + boys + summer camp. My brain REJECTED. There were chapters from a “melting man” running around talking to polar bears while driving a U-Haul. And there was something about a crow. A talking crow? Is the crow an experiment? BECAUSE, HECK, LET’S ADD IN SOME SCI-FI ELEMENTS TOO.
Like this. And I have no idea what this means:
Here is Joseph Stalin telling the melting man what he had to do. Joseph Stalin’s voice came from the air vents on the dashboard of the melting man’s recycled U-Haul moving vane. Joseph Stalin also spoke to the melting man through the radio.
Peoples, I read this whole book and I still have no idea what he’s freaking talking about. IS THIS WHOLE BOOK IN CODE?! WHAT AM I MISSING?
If you have a black and white brain, probably don’t read this. Maybe it’s just me, but this book made NO SENSE. My brain shut down after 30-pages and I swam through purple pineapple soup to finish.
LULLABY by Bernard Beckett
Thank you, Text Publishing AU! Published May, 2015.
Goodreads Text Publishing AU Purchase
I don’t…I can’t…
WHAT DID I EVEN JUST READ?!! This definitely goes down as one of the oddest books ever. I confess, the heinous cover completely turns me off. The book itself isn’t so bad, but the cover makes it look like a baby shampoo commercial, possibly from the 80s. Is it worth reading despite the horrendous cover? Yup. It is. It’s weird, but I have to admit I couldn’t put it down.
So the book opens up with Rene in hospital making some big unknown “decision” regarding his brain-dead identical twin brother. You don’t get to know what the accident was or what the decision is — you just know that Rene is only 18 and making a life-or-death-or-change choice for his brother. It’s very mysterious and entirely intriguing. Although the tension wasn’t exceptionally handled. It’s basically entirely TOLD instead of shown. About 90% of the book is Rene and a therapist talking. Which is…different? Unique? Yeah but…WHERE ARE THE ACTUAL SCENES WERE CHARACTERS DO THINGS?!! Call me a dilapidated pineapple frond (actually don’t, I might get offended) but I reeeeally like scenes were characters DO stuff. Not just reflect on it.
OTHER STUFF THAT DIDN’T SIT WELL WITH ME:
- It gets pretty psychological which goes — wheesht — over my head.
- The operation feels…unrealistic. Like it goes from being a contemporary and then the last 20 pages — BOOM IT’S SCI FI NOW.
- I don’t even think it said what Theo’s even accident was.
- The therapist was like the WORST therapist ever.
- I didn’t really feel sorry for Rene or Theo, which is a problem. (But I’m also a coldhearted Vulcan, so there’s that.)
But seriously, I couldn’t turn pages fast enough toward the end. I had this buuuuurning desire to KNOW THE ANSWERS. and then the last 10-pages are quite shocking and really well done. It’s a wildly open ending. I think this book is designed to make you think about what makes us ourselves and all sorts of other deep and philosophical questions.
Basically, it’s a psychological cacophony of questions and intrigue. While it dabbles in the sci-fi spectrum, it’s still pretty much a brotherly-relationship contemporary. It didn’t rock my world, but then capsicum doesn’t change my life and I still eat it. That totally makes sense. Don’t question it.
Oh, and a little perspective on this one? My friend Emily loved it. It’s one of those books you really need to read to properly understand the weirdness.
-~-
YES I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH YOU ON THE ALEX CROW. Like everyone else is calling it genius and I’m over here going…oh, okay, it was kind of a key-board smash to me. And the teenage boys were so very teenage boy-ish. Ugh. All those masturbation euphemisms (none of the guys I know talk like that????).
But yes, I loved Lullaby 😀 Great minds think…differently??
Emily @ Loony Literate recently posted…It’s a Loony Life (15) – I’m turning 18 soon and I need your help!
Definitely a keyboard smash. I kept looking at those raving reviews and going “Did we read the same book? PUH-LEASE, EXPLAIN IT ALL TO ME.” *cries*
YES TO ALL OF THE MUGS. I read 100 Sideways Miles by Andrew Smith and ugh, teenage boys (I have a brother who isn’t nearly so bad, but still! School is terrible enough
That one time when the boys in my english class wanted advice on certain matters from the teacher ugh ugh ughSo I’m not going to try that again. I mean, I like some degree of open to interpretation-life of pi esque- what is reality in books but to much makes me think. And while morality and having the think about things in books is good to some extent, it should never be at the cost of enjoyment and/or plot. So.Shanti recently posted…Discussion: Mental Illness in YA
UGH TEENAGE BOYS. < -- Me after reading The Alex Crow. It disappoints me that I was just so off about it…but maybe his style is just not for me?!
I really liked Lullaby, but then the combination of psychology and philosophy was pretty much made for me.
Nicole recently posted…Lullaby by Bernard Beckett
YAY I AM SO GLAD!! I wish I’d liked it more. 😐
OMG THAT MUG. BRILLIANT.
Ahhh, shame you didn’t really like these ones. I’m still really curious about reading these, though, so I know I’ll pick them up eventually. I read Grasshopper Jungle (also written by Andrew Smith) . . . and yeah, it was WEIRD. I think he’s a good writer, but at the end of the day, too confusing and vague and just not for me, you know? STILL. I plan on giving his other novels a chance. 🙂
Kara @ Diary of a Teen Writer recently posted…Sunday Weekly Wrap Up (64) & Stacking the Shevles (44)| Self-Restraint? What’s That?
I guess some writers are more…niche writers, maybe? Like they appeal to a more selective audience? IDEK WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. I just couldn’t do it and don’t think I’m going to try Grasshopper Jungle, although I WOULD like to try Winger.
Your mug is epic indeed.
Kinga @ The Classy Cat recently posted…The Sunday List
Why thank you. 😉
I tried reading GRasshopper Jungle once. I didn’t even get to the grasshoppers. Andrew Smith just isn’t for me. And I am kind of meh about Lullaby. It doesn’t appeal anyway, and then you write this review.. I care about reading this book even less. But thank you for the reviews!
I love that mug. I NEED that mug! oh my god, that mug is so cool! KING/QUEEN OF MUGS!
Jo recently posted…Top Ten Most Anticipated Releases For the Rest of 2015
Hehe, I don’t think I should try Grasshopper Jungle then. >_< I do kind of want to read Winger though. I've heard it's more straight forward?! IS IT WORTH THE RISK? IDEK.IT IS THE BEST MUG EVER. If I was a mug, that would be me.
THAT MUG! Perfect. Sorry that these two weren’t that great for you. I still can’t get past that Lullaby cover. It is sooo bad.
Grace @ Rebel Mommy Book Blog recently posted…Weekly Rewind 6.14.15
It is, isn’t it? >_< Ergh. Most books are getting epically gorgeous covers these days....poor Lullaby.
I truly enjoy reading your reviews. I am usually left smiling. 🙂
YAY! I AM SO PLEASED! ^_^
A definite YES to the mug!
Both of those books sound weird. I haven’t read anything by Smith yet but so many people have recommended him that I wanted to give him a try. Maybe I’ll start with something else though.
I’m not really a reader who enjoys “open to interpretation”. I like a solid ending and explanation.
Karen @For What It’s Worth
I do want to read Winger by him before I make up my mind that I definitely don’t like his books. I always feel I need to read more than one book by an author before I run away screaming, you know?! Winger has raving reviews too. XD
Okay The Alex Crow sounds REALLY weird. Maybe your copy was missing many many pages haha.
Michelle recently posted…The Feministas!
I WISH. >_< Gah. I think it just wasn't a good fit for my brain.
I absolutely loved Winger by Andrew Smith, but it is very straight-foward. I remember reading the synopsis for The Alex Crow and thinking, meh I’ll pass.
Lullaby sounds interesting, but that cover is beyond horrible. I just cannot read books with covers that bad. Shallow? Of, course. Sorry, not sorry. Great reviews!
Natalie @Natflix&Books recently posted…Weekly Rewind 6.6.15
Well, I’m as shallow as you. xD The cover just really horrified me into wanting to skip over this book. It ultimately (hehe, luckily) didn’t bother me WHILE I read, but every time I look at it I shudder. >_< I'd still like to try Winger, tbh!
As much as I love some good juicy action, I also really admire the quiet contemplative scenes that really make me think about all sorts of deep stuff. I’m a best of both worlds kinda gal 🙂
That is a fantastically wonderful way to be. *nods emphatically*
Yes, your mug is awesome. I want it.
I haven’t actually heard of either of those books, but it’s too bad neither were all that good. And is it just me, or does the guy on the cover of Lullaby look like Benedict Cumberbatch? Just a little bit?
Aine recently posted…Aliens are apparently not friendly.
Ohhh, maybe just a little bit?! Do you think his hand is disproportionately large?! THE ENTIRE COVER SENDS ME CRINGEING.
I think a novel that ends with the reader asking questions is good. But not when your primary question is “WHAT THE EFFING HELL DID I JUST READ?”
But that’s just me XD.
Hilary recently posted…Where Have I Been?
TOO TRUE. I seriously couldn’t agree more. xD
Came to say I like the mug, haha.
And don’t worry, that quote about Stalin and the radio just doesn’t make the story look entirely appealing. Some styles of writing just don’t sit well with our brains, and I have no qualms about putting a book down if it fails to impress. I am more impressed that you were able to finish it! That’s determination. 😀
Anne @ Lovely Literature recently posted…Review: Hidden Huntress
The mug is me. I am the mug.
I have such a struggle with DNF’ing! I don’t know why…I don’t like unfinished projects?! STILL. >_< I read some reviews on it after I posted this and someone mentioned one of the characters was schizophrenic, which I guess would make sense for the chapters that were WEIRD. But then I still don't get how that relates to Ariel's story line. So um. Awkwardness.
I don’t really like books that are open to interpretation. They make me feel like I’m back in school again!
And I love that mug…
La Coccinelle @ The Ladybug Reads… recently posted…New to the TBR Pile (29)
EVERYONE NEEDS A MUG LIKE THIS, TBH. And yes. GAh, I suppose it’s the kind of book that needs to be dissected? My brain hasn’t got time for that.
The first book just looks strange. I mean, melting man? And from the sound of that paragraph, I have a feeling I wouldn’t enjoy it any more than you did. WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING?
Lullaby doesn’t look amazing, but it doesn’t look bad. Does that make any sense? I mean, I love addicting books and the whole life-or-death-decision thing sounds super cool. That said, I don’t like genre-hopping books, and a lot of details just makes me confused. So I’ll probably pass on both of them, at least for now.
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I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING AND I FEEL STUPID FOR NOT KNOWING. *cries piteously* He’s like a mega-famous author, so I feel like it was me that totally didn’t understand that book?? Or something?? IDEK. I’M DEAD.
Oh Lullaby makes sense, in a warped kind of “WHAT JUST HAPPENED” sort of feeling. It’s a “what just happened” more out of shock than confusion. If that makes sense? It’s the kind that spins your brain. XD
Haha that small excerpt from The Alex Crow one made me think that a voiceover person said it. WHO IS THE MELTING MAN? Yes, I see how confusing it is. Funny because Andrew Smith is supposedly this hella good YA writer (grasshopper jungle and winger). Well, not funny (it is when you read that bit in voiceover mode) but kind of sad actually. I’d read it just for entertainment purposes – it’s one of those things I’d do when I’m in a highly weird mode. I’d probably buy it just to read the whole thing in voiceover mode. XD
Oh and OF COURSE I LIKE YOUR EPIC MUG. 😀 (And happy late bloggosvary <– I did not spell that right at all!)
Mawa Mahima recently posted…To Dog-ear or Not To Dog-ear?
I feel like Andrew Smith’s books and I will probably (sadly) not get along. BUT EH. It must be just me because all the other reviews for The Alex Crow are like FIVE STARS and raving and I’m sitting here going, “What in the heck even happened.” >_< I would still like to try Winger though...oooone day.SQUEE. Thank you!!
GORGEOUS MUG OH MY GOSH. Ahem. Yes it’s awesome. XD
And GAAAHH do NOT be all vague, books! Seriously and for real now! Spell it out. -_- I like to know what HAPPENS with endings especially. Even if it ends bad at least I know I hate it… But that kind of nebulous uncertainty where you don’t know if it’s happy or sad or good or bad or even a mediocre week old pineapple slushy… just WHAT.
Also I love that Dean gif too. I love all the Dean gifs. I am possibly the biggest-fan-of-Dean-who-has-never-actually-watched-an-episode-of-Supernatural.
WHY DO I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS. Even when you dislike something, and even when there’s nooo possibility I will actually READ said book (like these… ick. :-/) I still positively love your reviews. I FEEL LIKE I ALWAYS MUST READ THEM BECAUSE WHAT WILL CAIT SAY. You’re so entertaining I adore you. QUEEN OF REVIEWS.
Deborah O’Carroll @ The Road of a Writer recently posted…Invisible Barrier
AFJDSKLAFD THIS COMMENT COMPLETELY MADE MY DAY, THANK YOU, DEBORAH. CAN I JUST HUG YOU KNOW? OR PERHAPS SMUCH CAKE IN YOUR HAIR NICELY? YES? *tosses cake in the air and dances under it*
*whispers* Can I quietly shove you towards watching Supernatural? BECAUSE DEAN.
AWESOME MUG IS SO AWESOME. My sister bought it for me for Christmas, and I’m not sure if she was saying something or…whatever The mug is me. I am the mug.
MAKING YOUR DAY MADE /MY/ DAY! ^_^ *happily flails with you under cake*
And I don’t know, I don’t do well with scary/terrifying, which is the only reason I haven’t done Supernatural yet. XD But I may end up someday watching it… But scawy. O_O *hides behind curtain*
Deborah O’Carroll @ The Road of a Writer recently posted…Beautiful People: Parental Edition (Tare)
I saw your mug and was like, “Yes! That is the best thing of ever!”
Anyways. . . The first book sounds, um, ludicrous? Was there a point to the book? Was it just a bunch of random scenes? Did they even connect?! I AM SO CONFUSED!
Lullaby could be mildly interesting. (Who wasn’t thinking they made the cover? I’m sorry, but- it’s. . . not even eye-catching.) The psychological and philosophical stuff sounds fascinating. I’m not sure if I could sit through a bunch of dialogue with nobody doing anything though. I rather like action. But if I spot it in the library, I’ll probably pick it up.
Ashley G. recently posted…Vlog- Liebester Award
That’s how I feeeeelt reading it. ERMAGERD. It was so confusing and odd and just, nope. I can’t even tell you the point of the book because I just don’t know. And THAT drives me slightly batty.
*whispers* I’m so horrified at the Lullaby cover, and even worse, the spine is actually upside down. I’m not sure why?! But regardless sit has to sit UPSIDE DOWN on my shelf and that bothers the OCD in me so badly.
Shelumiel’s Reaction in a List (Because Cait Loves Lists and She Needs One Now):
1. Oh gosh, sorry to hear these books didn’t work for you!
2. I’ve heard again and again that The Alex Crow is a really weird piece of weirdness (that’s redundant but whatever) and I want to read it, but I think it’s not an optimal choice to start with Andrew Smith?
2.a. You’d still read Winger, right? RIGHT?
3. The Dean gif tho.
4. The baby shampoo commercial analogy! OH. MY. GODS.
5. Nothing frustrates me more than NOT feeling for characters. That’s just so sad.
6. You definite-maybe-sort-of-absolutely should read Winger.
Shelumiel @ Bookish and Awesome recently posted…REVIEW: Vanishing Girls by Lauren Oliver
Shelumiel’s Reaction In List Form Was Brilliant. JUST SAYIN’. 😉 Ohhh, I still want to read Winger, I DO. And I kind of want to try Grasshopper jungle still, because I’m a) a beggar for punishment, and b) still totally curious. I actually saw someone else’s review that said the alternate POV was by a schizophrenic guy which would explain the completely weirdness…but I still don’t understand how it relates to Ariel’s story. :O SO. I’M GOING TO READ WINGER, I PROMISE
Sorry I’m a little late commenting on this post–bad internet and business conspired against me. The Alex Crow looks just plain weird–I’m not sure I’d spend my time on it. Though the cover is interesting. And Lullabye–like, igg. I kind of want to read it, but the cover is soooooo ugly it might ruin the whole experience. I feel bad for the people/person who designed it. And I like books where things happe. So maybe I won’t do this one either.
(Is it bad tha I like reading your two-star/one-star reviews? Because I do.)
Liz Brooks recently posted…How to be an Eccentric Writer
*whispers* Whyyyy are you apologising?! ZOMG, LIZ, YOU COULD COMMENT 20 YEARS LATE AND I’D STILL LOVE YOUR COMMENTS. ahem.
But yes. I kind of just don’t know what to even think about The Alex Crow. I feel like I just missed the point or…or…something. WHAT WAS IT ABOUT?! *frest*
(WELL I’M GLAD YOU DO. XD It makes me feel better about writing them!)
I am like you! Just tell me the story, I don’t have time to play such games! Sometimes I have wondered if Andrew Smith’s books are like, just a collection of inside jokes he has with his friends? Or if he is messing with people? Either way, I have and DO want to read Grasshopper Jungle. So there’s that. But I think I do not understand that quote from The Alex Crow. I mean, none of those words make sense when used together. I’m going to pass on that one, I think.
As for Lullaby.. I cannot with the cover. Nope. It’s bad. Dude is going to haunt me tonight, thanks for that Cait. And um, the KINDLE edition is $20. TWENTY. DOLLARS. BWHAHAHA. So much nope. Thank you so, SO much for reading these so that I do not have to 😉
And YES, the mug is fabulous!
Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight recently posted…The Blog Most Likely to… (and Giveaway!)
YOU ARE LIKE ME, SHANNON. Tbh, we could be sisters. I would be the more fabulous sister, of course, but still. ANYWAY. WHAT WERE WE SAYING? Oh yes. I don’t understand Andrew Smith. I suspect my brain just had a severe disconnect to what he was trying to say. Everyone else says he’s a genius though, so whaaaat did I miss?!! Let me know if you survive Grasshopper Jungle. I feel like I need to try at least one other of his books before I decide if his writing isnt’ for me.
TWENTY DOLLARS FOR AN EBOOK?? At least you could hide the cover. *nods* That’s why it’s so expensive.
I’ve seen ugly cover floating around, and like you, I was thrown off by it, but unlike you I was thrown off of it enough to not read it, and now thanks TO you, there is no way I will ever be picking it up.
Ha ha! I just wanted to let you know that I was here and thoroughly entertained. 😀
WELL THAT IS A FANTASTIC THING. 😉