One of the best parts about being a bookworm is judging characters and their life choices.
I love it! You love it! We all love being judgy little watermelon rinds. And this is totally okay if it’s a book character, but less okay if it’s, say, your sister’s ugly hat or your aged mentor in the forest who’s teaching you how to be a wizard but wears crocs. Try not to judge them to their face. However since characters don’t have faces: WE’RE GOOD TO GO HERE!
I was tagged on bookstagram for #MostLikelyBoyBookTag which was super fun and I thought I’d enrich your lives by blogging it too! That is code for: I’ve been blogging for 6 freaking years and am running out of topics so bad I’m starting to panic. * But instead of just talking about boys I’m talking about girls too because this post obviously wants to be intelligent. **
There were only seven “most likely to” topics in the original tag, so I’m adding more! Because people who make tags that don’t have AT LEAST 10 parts are people you can’t trust when you take them grocery shopping. They might buy, like, 9 cupcakes instead of 10 and 10 is the purest number. ***
* SERIOUSLY: if you have post requests I’m not only all ears, I’m all eyeballs too. All 9 of my eyeballs. We need you.
** Haaaah hahahah ha. Just kidding to my male readers! I know for a fact that you’re very intelligent because you’re reading my blog! And scientific tests have been run to conclude that people who read my blog have a very very high IQ or no IQ at all. Fun, right?!?
*** Although after ALL THAT I’m going to have more than 10 because I don’t want this post to be shorter than I am. And I’m pretty short okay, so that could be a problem. But they’re grouped in 5s so this is still acceptable.
Also apparently these are things you do like at end-of-highschool-year superlatives in America. But I’m not American AND I’m easily amused. So I’m going to have at it anyway.
No really, I am very easily amused. I find throwing my dog’s ball backwards and watching him looking for it is very amusing. Also cracking eggs on my sister’s head is super funny too.
…for the boys…
BE OVERPROTECTIVE: I nominate Kell from A Darker Shade of Magic, because if you see him in book 2 literally trying to do anything to save Rhy, protect Lila, save the world etc. etc…you will agree with me. He is also the boy most likely to be stabbed by his OTP because Lila is 0% here for being protected.
GOOD WITH KIDS: The BEST EVER for this goes to Julian Blackthorn, from Lady Midnight, father of four small children when he was only 12 because his parents died and he had to raise his siblings. Super good with children. Super Slytherin. Will probably destroy the world in order to keep his babies safe.
PICKS FLOWERS FOR YOU: I nominate Kaz Brekker! Even though he didn’t pick any flowers for Inej, she specifically mentioned that her father said “get you a boy who picks your favourite flowers”. So I 100% think Inej will teach and coach Kaz how to pick flowers and present them nicely without starting the conversation with “hey wanna go steal something and stab someone and hey here are flowers I love you”. Inej will raise him well.
LENDS YOU THEIR CLOTHES: I definitely nominate Lazlo Strange from Strange the Dreamer! He’d probably give you anything he owned if you said “hey I’m a mythical monster” because he’s in love with those.
TALKS WITH YOU FOR HOURS: Definitely nominating AIDAN from Illuminae. He does so love to have discussions with people, even if it’s mostly him insulting humanity but loving them anyway because no one appreciates him like they should.
TAKES TIME LOOKING AT YOUR EYES: I think Gansey would. Mostly because he can’t actually kiss Blue because of the whole “if she kisses her true love he dies” thing which is a bit of a relationship hurdle but nothing the ghost-life couldn’t fix.
SAYS YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL: This would be Jace Herondale from The Mortal Instruments right after he finished saying he was the most beautiful. You could be the second though.
TAKE OVER THE WORLD: Oh this would be Locke Lamora for sure! Especially on accident. He’d be most likely to run a scheme to get the crown off a king and end up wearing it and being very unsure what to do with himself so just snacking and wearing nice clothes while the world burns down amusingly.
SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: Yes to Sean Kendrick from The Scorpio Races. Mostly because he’d just calm the zombies down and everyone would be too chill to actually do any evil.
BREAK A WORLD RECORD: This will be Alucard, world record for most times stabbed at dinner by his brother-in-law, the dearest Kell.
STAY WITH OTP AFTER BOOK IS OVER: I’m going to say the dearest #PYNCH from The Raven Cycle because I think once you commit to Ronan you realise you’ll spend 87% of the time annoyed and you just prepare for it.
LEAVE OTP AFTER BOOK IS OVER: I can’t ever imagine Jack and Libby from Holding Up the Universe actually staying together…they seemed to have literally nothing in common except for bad decision making.
BE A DRAMA QUEEN: I’m just going to say Henry “Monty” Montague from The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and if you haven’t read it yet wHAT ARE YOU DOING. It’s one of my all-time-ever favourites!! And no one is quite as dramatic as our dear Monty.
ALWAYS HAPPY: Okay do you know how hARD this is to fill?!?? Everyone is angry and angsty and sad in YA, I tell you. But there is always Thorne from The Lunar Chronicles! Dashing and happy…so unusual omg I love him.
GET INTO A FIGHT: Hehhhhehehe…ohhh so so many. Nathan from Half Bad particularly. I think if you breathe in his direction he’ll fight. Jesper from Six of Crows but him for the LOLZ. And also Sevro from Red Rising who will burn down your planet for a chocolate bare. Relatable.
…for the girls…
BE OVERPROTECTIVE: Definitely Lada from And I Darken. If chill exists, she doesn’t have any. And she will stab you in the face if you get near her precious boys.
GOOD WITH KIDS: I totally think Nina from Six of Crows!! She would feed them waffles and tell them funny stories and also train them to be badass warriors. Pls, Nina, adopt me.
GO TO WAR TO SAVE YOU: Absolutely Emma from Lady Midnight. Although she’s probably going to war for HER because she really likes fighting. Swords! Blades! Blood! Fish and chips afterwards! Emma is so much fun.
LAUGH AT A BAD TIME: I’m going to say Valkyrie Caine from Skulduggery Pleasant who is SUPER EPIC AND BADASS and has the absolute most dry sense of humour at them all. I’m pretty sure the world would end and she’d laugh and make a small dry joke.
TALKS WITH YOU FOR HOURS: I so think Lara Jean from To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before would talk with you for as long as you needed it, and probably bring cake. Which is why she’s my best fictional friend, thanks very much.
TO TRAVEL THE WORLD: Absolutely Lila Bard from A Darker Shade of Magic! She’ll probably stab everyone on the way, but ultimately have a good time.
DRESS TO KILL: Going to go with Isabelle Lightwood from The Mortal Instruments. I mean. She can fight demons and wear heels and has really great hair. She’s too perfect, too fabulous, for mere humanity.
BECOME SUPER RICH: I’d say Kestrel from The Winner’s Curse because WOAH was there ever such a Slytherin in a pretty dress with a sweet face. She’ll probably gamble you out of your money and you won’t even notice.
SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: I feel bad for throwing Katniss from The Hunger Games in, but dude. She would. She’d just slay all the zombies while everyone else hide and then at the end wouldn’t even let you say thank you. She’d just run off, live in the woods, definitely make it 5 miles.
BREAK A WORLD RECORD: Well let’s say Cath from Fangirl…for avoiding you. She’s the kind of person I aspire to, to be honest.
STAY WITH OTP AFTER BOOK IS OVER: Can we say Annabeth Chase and Percy Jackson?!?? Because I don’t think ever was an OTP so solid and pure and perfect and likely for Percy to end up smacked into the ocean if he commenced annoying shenanigans.
LEAVE OTP AFTER BOOK IS OVER: I’ll just get out my bag of salt and vinegar chips and proceed to live in it while I nominate Celaena Sardothien from Throne of Glass because obviously changing dudes per book is fine with her. #OHITBURNS
BE A DRAMA QUEEN: Let’s say Hanna from Gemina who was completely badass but also very prone to a dramatic love life and wearing excellent clothes even when nearly dying. I do like her style.
GET ARRESTED: Definitely Kate Harker from This Savage Song. Also most likely to become rapidly un-arrested due to contacts, cunning, and scary eyes.
SHARE THEIR FOOD WITH YOU: Even though I’m not the biggest fan of Heartless, I do think Cath would happily share her baking with you. And this is excellent because I would love some lemon pie.
what did you think of my nominations?!? who would you nominate for couples likely to stay together/break up once a book is finished?? and which character would share food with you???