Directed by: Kevin MacDonald
Soundtrack Score written by: Atli Örvarsson
Running time: 114 minutes
Based on the novel: The Eagle of the Ninth by Rosemary Sutcliff
Channing Tatum as Marcus Flavius Aquila
Jamie Bell as Esca
Donald Sutherland (aka President Snow) as Marcus’ Uncle Aquila
MIME: Ah. Battles, adventure, historical accuracy and people speaking gaelicy languages. What more could you want?
CAIT: Gelicy is not a word.
MIME: It is now. So. Favourite part?
CAIT: THE SOUNDTRACK!!! (Seriously, go check out this song.) Oh, wait. I’ll say the characters, because, they were awesome. (Deep, aren’t I?)
M: Me, I’ll say the whole thing was great —
C: (interrupting) ESKA!
M: Yeah. Eska was pretty cool. And from the trailer, I’d expected Marcus to be the kind of jerky slave-owner guy who treated the awesome slave like dirt. I was pleased to say, Marcus was great, too.
C: The Eagle is also a book, isn’t it?
M: That it be. It’s based on the book The Eagle of the Ninth by Rosemary Sutcliff. Except, I haven’t read it. I watched the movie, instead.
C: It’s all Roman to me. But reading the book and watching the movie are NEVER the same thing. (So go fix that, Mime.) Moving on.
M: The costumes looked horribly Roman. Actually, amazingly Roman and extremely uncomfortable. The details were really good, for the most part, like the way even the extras in the Pict village looked a little hungry but very strong.
C: Details? Yes, amazing. Like the chin strap markings on all Roman soldiers! And then there was the sword with no blood on it (this is after Marcus just, um, stabbed someone). That was so realistic.
M: Enough with the sword, we all make mistakes. Speaking of blood, it was a little violent. Okay, they’re Romans. It was no tea party in Scotland with bagpipes, put it that way.
C: No Merida’s and frizzy hair.
M: You’d probably want to be a mature audience to watch it. There was plenty of blood, particularly at the beginning (except for that sword). A guy gets a head chopped off. Burning people in fire pits. People hanging upside down. Headless. That sort of thing.
M: And, as an added plus, it proved once and for all that President Snow wasn’t always a bad guy. You see, he’s a Roman guy called Flavius (which is pronounced Flay-vee-us… who’d have thought?) who disappeared after the Roman era, and regenerated in the futre to devise a Roman-flavoured Panem and the Hunger Games!
C: How much chocolate did you eat during the film again?
M: That’s none of your business. Fun-size-bars aren’t fun unless “fun” means multiple, okay?
C: You scare me. Moving on (again), to the plot. Good actors really make a movie, but without a good plot it’ll turn into The Avengers. Wait! I’m not against The Avengers! (I’m a fan, here, okay…) But we have to admit, at times, superheros blowing up aliens isn’t the most original plot.
M: Need a shovel, there? Anyway, the plot was great. Like, I almost wanted to throw Esca off a cliff there at one point. And then… and then… we could really give this away, couldn’t we?
C: It served Marcus right. Speaking of Marcus (who is, our Roman honourably discharged military man — and main protagonist), I think his relationship with Esca was the best part of the movie. They fought. They were mean. They were kind. Marcus saved Esca’s life. Esca saved Marcus’. They were awesome. And the last scene? That smirk? Awesome. The end.
M: Can you find a new word? Other than awesome? Anyway, I thought one of the coolest things were the Roman fighting techniques. Those guys were as drilled as a well, if you know what I mean. The formations and tortoise shell moves…so neat. No wonder they conquered like, the whole world.
C: Mime. Seriously now? The whole world? As far as I know, the Romans never entered Australia. And we are, in essence, the best part of the whole world.
M: Too true.
C: Now let me explain —
M: No. There is too much.
C: Stop quoting Inigo! Ahem. To sum up then, the movie was brilliant in acting, graphics, story-line, emotional twists, and stupidity (the plot was centered around retrieving a statue, okay?). It’s the best movie I’ve seen since Wreck It Ralph.
M: Probably not the best comparison.
C: Fine. Since Ned Kelly?
M: That’s better. So, Cait said it a thousand times. It was awesome.
C: Plus, I feel very inspired for my own series. I need to go write a book.
M: Have fun storming the castle!
C: Do you think it will work?
M: It’ll take a miracle. Bye!!!