Have you ever contemplated what had happened to the Disney Princesses after they got their happily ever after? I mean, anyone who goes through a climax is going to have interesting repercussions.
Dear old Snow is probably going to be terrified of fruit for the rest of her life. Though, we have to say, this isn’t life changing. It’s a little eccentric, but anyway. Also, she’ll have an insane fear of old people. But the real problem is this: Imagine whenever a door-to-door salesman comes to call on Snow White? She’s going to send the whole place into lockdown. I sure hope she doesn’t have a gun in the cupboard, because she’s going to be one of those salesman-shooting grandparents from Secondhand Lions.
Can we say Boss of Nightmares? Cindy is not going to want to ever do a chore again. She’s done her share, that’s it. So can you imagine how her employees are going to turn out? They’ll be her own, personal Cinderellas. Can we say “viscious cycle”? Oh, another thing. When Cinderella has teenage daughters, I get the feeling she won’t relate very well.
Well, let’s just say she won’t be having a home business in craft (spinning, anyone?). And she’s going to be a nervous wreck taking her kids to get their injections. On another note, she’s now an insomniac. After a hundred years of sleep, you’ve gone a little nuts, you know? Sleep? Who needs sleep? She doesn’t need sleep! COFFEE ALL ROUND!
Now that she has her voice back, she can’t stop! Talk about verbal diarheoa. After three days, there’s just so much to catch up on, and all these things to say, and conversations to have, and things to talk about… Oh, and her marriage will be laden with trust issues. You know how she and Eric were practically going out? And then, woop-de-doo, suddenly he’s marrying this other lady. NOW. Well, that doesn’t stand in good stead for the years to come.
Belle is what you call a normal, old-fashioned introvert. She’s scared of tall, dark strangers, thunderstorms, and forests. She reads all day, has an obsession with furry pets, and talks to the crockery. What’s unusual about that?
Claustrophobia plus! That’s what happens when you get locked in an hourglass. And don’t you dare try to take her to the beach, because all that sand is just freaky. And like Belle, she’ll have problems with tall, dark men, because, let’s just say, being made Jafar’s personal flunky wasn’t a piece of cake. One does not be the only Disney princess to kiss the villain and go on being socially sound.
What? She sent her dying boyfriend back to England? What? That’s not an ending, Disney. That’s really sad, because he probably got infection on the several month sea voyage home, and would have died from gangrene from the gunshot wound. Thank you very much, Disney. Pocahontas will never know this, of course, because now that her lover-boy has been shipped off, her daddy is going to push for a nice, Indian husband. That’s right, people. Pocahontas became an average squaw with a fear of anything that sounds like a gunshot.
I’m pretty sure Fa Mulan won’t let any fear rule her, but she’s always going to be suspicious of huns popping out of the snow like daisies. Good thing she has Mushu to keep her safe. And an unlucky cricket. (Don’t tell me — you’re a sheep?) Mulan probably bad day on New Years Eve, when all the Chinese firecrackers are let loose, because killing a hun-general-dude with firecrackers may grant her some existential questions.
We all know she’s a workaholic. She’s going to have a lot of trouble curbing that instinct. Just because she got a restaurant doesn’t mean she can relax. Oh, no. The real work starts. Prep. Cooking. Plating up. All day and all night. Life’s not about dancing to Naveen’s ukelele. Also, can you imagine the flack she must get in such a racist time period as the 1920’s? She’s the “black” bride of a French prince. Tongues will wag.
She’s been shut up in a tower her whole life. She probably has mild bipolar. She probably has no concept of stranger-danger, (due to some nice thugs she met) and agoraphobia. Come on. These wide, open spaces…scary stuff. She likes to get home and call it a day. You have to admit, the murals all over the castle walls are amazing. But if there’s one thing she hates, it’s this, “Oh, Rapunzel! Your hair looks amazing!” She will use the frying pan.
Merida never got married. She kept right on doing her stuff, changing her fate. She’s still happy to roam the woods, shooting at things. Being chased by a hungry bear? That was kind of fun, actually. Though she did learn her lesson. When you’re bargaining with a witch, be specific. She’s taken up public speaking, and her mother has refocused her efforts on trying to figure out which one of the triplets is oldest, in order to groom him for ruling after Fergus. She hasn’t had any luck, so far.