For safety’s sake, it is very important to take a book with you wherever you go.
You might need it to protect yourself from an unexpected apocalypse, or use it as a disguise to hold in front of your face while you flee a crime scene, or use it to save a seat, or read it or (most importantly) hide behind it if someone tries to talk to you.
Now I actually don’t like reading outside the house, because I don’t like outside the house. (Like why is it there????) However, I do always bring a book! Or 3 or 7! Never know what will happen so be prepared, right?! And I thought today would be a great time to tell you about some books I have read when someone pried my cold dead claws off my house and dragged me outside.
I’m also notoriously proud of myself for even remembering which books I’ve read where, because I have the memory of a fractured cantaloupe.
Top Ten Tuesday: Books That Awaken the Travel Bug In Me…and look, this sort of fits the prompt??! Let’s go with this, I’m doing great.
1. ROYAL BASTARDS → READ IN A TENT IN BUNDABERG
This was nearly a year ago exactly! And I recall being so proud of myself for actually reading an eARC on time. This never happens!! I clearly was not myself!! Anyway, I also remember vividly reading this while camping because we were moving house, aka 2000kms away, and our freaking car bROKE DOWN.
So we were stuck in the middle of the Australian East coast, in a caravan park, with our furniture who knows where…and I read Royal Bastards.
Which was quite funny and good and I liked it! I also blinded myself using my kindle as my only light in a pitch black tent. So that’s Reason #98928 I hate camping.
2. TWO TOWERS → READ IN NANING, CHINA
Look I say “read” loosely, because I literally took this book as my only read to China * …(this has got to be like 8 or so years ago) to FORCE MYSELF TO READ IT. I ended up watching Despicable Me on a like 10cm wide MP3 player screen 60 times instead to just avoid the freaking thing.
This News Just In: TOLKIEN IS A NO FOR ME.
I also hate Despicable Me now???? hOW unforeseen, Cait, good job. Anyway, I at least read about half of it before I died and my ghost ascended so this counts.
* And yes this was my only overseas trip! My family went for 1 month because I had a sister living there and there was much to enjoy and also so many people and I’m kind of traumatised and will never never never travel again. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
3. THE FOXHOLE COURT TRILOGY → ON A ROADTRIP
In February we took a roadtrip down to visit my sister in NSW and I read these on the way. And by “read” I mean: I SUDDENLY GOT OBSESSED AND WANTED TO DO NOTHING BUT READ AND READ AND NO ONE TALK TO ME I AM A BOOK.
Also roadtripping + reading = very hard for me as I get carsick. So it’s more like “reading while my dad stops to get coffee” or “reading while my parents set up the caravan” or “reading at night in a tent because none can stop me”.
(Also I maybe just bought the paperbacks of these from American Amazon and literally sold my unborn first 9 children to cover postage. But WORTH IT.)
4. LONG WAY DOWN → IN A COFFEE SHOP
This book is actually in poetry-format so it’s so so short and you can totally read like HALF while waiting for your coffee order to come in!! This is amazing because by the time your coffee gets there, you’ve destroyed your heart and soul and mind reading this gut-wrenching book.
Good job, me. Very smart. Always read grief stories in public. What could go wrong.
5. DIVERGENT → SOME TEEANGERDOM CAMPING TRIP
I don’t even remember honestly why we went (this was in 2013 I think?)…even though “UGH WHY” is my first reaction whenever someone says the word “camping”. Look I’m not trying to be dramatic, but WE HAVE HOUSES AND WHY SHOULD WE LEAVE THEM TO SLEEP BETWEEN SOME GLORIFIED SHEETS ON POLES WITHOUT A REAL BED FOR “FUN”?????????????
I’m so confused. Who started the idea of camping. Bring them to me. I want to roast them in a pot.
Anyway, I also destroyed my copy of Divergent, totally gouged the back out. And people don’t think camping is evil, sheesh.
6. HORSERADISH → IN A…UM…BOOKSTORE
Look, I was careful. And this has got to be when I was like 13 or something?! But I couldn’t afford to just buy books and I was obsessed with Lemony Snicket and was left (read: ran away whilst parents shopped) in a bookstore for a while, so I read the whole thing!
It’s all verses/sayings so it probably took like 10 minutes haha.
And I promise I was so so careful and didn’t break the spine at all.
But still. Evil little Paper Fury.
7. THE ISLE OF THE LOST → IN THE CAR
While my mum was in a shop called “Rainbow Wholefoods” and if this doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about my family, WHAT WILL. She was probably buying organic zucchini.
However this store also often gave us free Moon Balls! They kind of look like this. And I would do unspeakable things for those, they were delicious.
Anyway, she was off with organic zucchini. I was in the car after a wholesome library haul, and I picked up this book which is, arguably, the STUPIDEST and also worst book I’ve ever read. Fond memories.
8. MY LIFE NEXT DOOR → AT THE LIBRARY
Well…only a few chapters because I was also babysitting my two nieces and one nephew and in retrospect I probably should’ve been watching them??? But they’re all still alive. The have most of their limbs attached. I don’t know what more you want from me.
Also, this book, had a STICKY DUBIOUS STAIN on the plastic library covering. It was the kind of stain you couldn’t hold the book without touching. It was the kind of stickiness you wanted to cut your whole arm off after touching. Look, this says something about how good the book was — because I kept reading.
But talk about being violated. MY BONES ARE GAGGING RIGHT NOW IN MEMORY.
9. GAME OF THRONES → WHILE WALKING
I love walking! I go for a run in the morning + a walk in the afternoons (and then I return quickly back inside, believe me). Before I had a dog, I used to listen to audiobooks while I went. This is great multitasking, plus Game of Thrones is 48728 hours per book. SO! I had to be clever to get through these tomes.
I want to also say it’s really weird walking down the street while the book is loudly talking about gruesome murders, zombies, incest, and blooooooood. I mean, I’ve got headphones on.
BUT STILL. YOU WONDER IF OTHER PEOPLE KNOW.
10. HOW TO LEAD A LIFE OF CRIME → AT MY SISTER’S HOUSE
This was back in 2013!! Aww!! Little tiny tiny me!! Anyway, for some reason I cannot remember, I was staying overnight at an older sister’s house??? 0/10 do not like staying at other people’s houses. Anyhow, I recall reading this covertly because the cover is kind of, um, well…CRIME.
Look, I am dark and nefarious (despite the rainbows around here) and I do pretty terrible things like tell my little sister there’s no more chocolate while eating the last piece. But I’m not actually out to lead a life of crime! That’s aaaall on the title. The fact that my family seemed to think the title was pretty normal for me says…nothing.
Anyway, the book had some great tips, not knocking the knowledge I gleaned. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ What can I say.