I’m breaking the rules today, okay?
I’m a little rebel sometimes. (But I do it fabulously, so that’s a pardon, right?) Back in May I did a post on Characters I Would Want On My Team in The Hunger Games, which is basically the same as this prompt. My options were a) skip linking up or b) go opposite and use “wouldn’t” instead of “would”.
What can I say? The negative attracted me.
I’m linking up with The Broke and the Bookish for their incredibly awesome meme: Top Ten Tuesday. This is a meme involving lists, peoples. LISTS! I love lists.
This week’s prompt is: Top 10 characters I would want with me on a deserted island. But I’m doing it backwards. I’m going to say WOULDN’T. Although, these aren’t going to be just characters I don’t want to be around. I will have awesome characters on this list…but just because they’re awesome doesn’t make them useful if you know what I mean.
1. Boromir from Lord of the Rings
For starters, sorry Boromir, but one simply DOES walk into Mordor. So having him along would be planting your ears full of bad advice, but also — the guy dies. Of 9 random citizens, this dude managed to hop the twig. Unlucky? I think yes.
2. Eureka and Ander (a.k.a Creeper & Weeper) from Teardrop
Tears and stalking? No thank you. If I was trying to survive the rigorous life of coconut and fish and no WiFi, I would not need this kind of angst around.
Plus, people who are attracted to stalkers? I’m wary of their judgement skills.
3. Sphinx and Cadence from Breaking Butterflies
Actually, make that anyone in this book. I’m pretty sure they’re all emotionally and perhaps mentally unstable and need help. Cadence is the kind of wild card that would perhaps feel like killing you while you slept. Sphinx is the kind of wild card that would let him. No, no, I pass.
4. Etienne from Anna and the French Kiss
I won’t lie: I really like Etienne. He’s awesome, short (hey, short people are cool!), and has a fabulous sense of humour. But I’d be ignoring reality if I didn’t say this guy is incredibly needy. There is no time for needy mentality when you’re surviving shark attacks.
5. Just about everyone in Dangerous Girls
Surviving a desert island means you need to trust your companions. WHO ON EARTH IS TELLING THE TRUTH IN THIS BOOK?! (Well, I know now but I’m still in shock.) With everyone presenting a compelling case, you’d spend all your time deciding who was sane instead of gathering seaweed and building signal fires.
(Also, I can’t help myself: this is a seriously awesome book and if you have not read it YOU MUST CHANGE THAT. It will throw you.)
6. Mary Poppins from Mary Poppins
I’m a big fan of Mary-Poppins-as-played-by-Julie-Andrews. I am, I promise. I know all the songs thanks to my 3 year old nephew’s demand for perfect lyrics or none at all. BUT HAVE YOU ACTUALLY READ THE BOOK? It’s horrible.
Mary Poppins is vain and selfish. She’s the kind of person who would feel it a great injustice to her if you fell down a cliff and sprained you skull. She would say, “Get up and stop crying. I have no time for you.” I can’t handle that kind of rejection.
7. Count Olaf from A Series of Unfortunate Events
There’s “mean” and then there’s “crazy” and then there’s “ballistically psychotic and narcissistic and malicious”. Count Olaf fits the later. There are some villains you could possibly turn into allies but Count Olaf is not one of them.
8. Parker from Insomnia
Take a good long look at that cover. Looked? The guy is dying from sleep-deprivation.
Can you imagine him while you’re trying to survive sand and heat?! He would a) fall asleep on you and b) be totally useless while his organs shut down.
He also has obsessions over random girls. Not good for an enclosed environment.
9. Everyone in Don’t Even Think About It
Because they’d spend all their time a) whining, b) plotting hook ups, and c) breaking up. That’s not only angsty, it’s downright annoying. They got superpowers and they didn’t even put them to logical use. Imagine them trying to collect coconuts?? I wouldn’t give them the matches to light those signal fires either. In fact…sit there, peoples, sit and wait until we get rescued. Don’t even touch anything.
10. Jeb from Splintered
It’s no secret that I’m Team Morpheus (I’m really quite emphatic on this one, yes?). If Jeb was on a deserted island with me? THERE WOULD BE CONTROL ISSUES. He is a very controlling little dear and while it might be an endearing gesture at first, I’d quickly get frustrated.
I’m not okay with being constantly told what to do. (You should see me when someone says “like this page on facebook”…I don’t on principal.)
And, in case you’re curious: I would probably die if I was on a deserted island.
The two things I hate most in life are fish and coconuts. What would I eat?? Unless it was an island of mangoes, I would be a very thin skeleton very fast. I would probably pick the same people from my post about The Hunger Games arena, if I wanted to survive. Definitely Celaena Sardothian. Or else I would pick Sam from Supernatural because then Dean would come find us in weeks and all problems would be solved.
Cait likes islands and beaches, just so long as they’re not deserted. She does not wish to make the Castaway movie her life. (No WiFi, also.) Lately she’s been looking through her old notebooks and laughing at her old writing. It probably calls for a post, doesn’t it? (She wrote really adorable stories once upon a time, to be honest.) She’s read REBEL BELLE.