Because I know what everyone should be doing, it’s time we talked about how to improve Goodreads.
Okay! I’m joking. I don’t know what “everyone” should be doing because somewhere in the world someone is baking an apple pie when I would’ve said they should be baking a chocolate pie. But apple pies get really underrated and yet are delicious so, like?? I shouldn’t be allowed to control the pie economy here. So I concede that sometimes free will is important.
HOWEVER. When it comes to Goodreads, I have some thoughts.
Or “Godreads” as I often type instead. Or even “Goodred.” Because apparently I can’t type.
I really love Goodreads! I have a love-affair with organisation and the fact I can have A MILLION SHELVES TO SORT MY BOOKS and also have a TBR list that stretches all the way to the moon and back?? IT MAKES MY HEART HAPPY. The users of Goodreads tend to…ha ha…haaa…okay, they can be a problem. * But we’re going to ignore the trollish hellions in this post!! And just focus on the website!! Because the website is NICE.
But it could be better.
I mean, the ultimate goal here is for Goodreads to hire me as their Dark Lord Of All and buy my ideas and pay me in books. But until then, let’s just whinge companionably.
* Just recently I had a condescending pinecone telling me he thought all YA books are trash and I am trash and everyone should read classics — then mentioned he wrote YA books. And I just???? My honest to God reply was: “Mate, I hope you don’t write YA ever.” I CAN’T EVEN WITH HOW ELITIST SOME PEOPLE ARE.
1. RECAPS PREVIOUS BOOKS IN A SERIES.
I don’t want to be dramatic or anything but…THIS WOULD SAVE LIVES. I love that they have the reread feature now, which also saves lives and has encouraged me to reread SO many books this year. I do love rereading. I do. But do you know who has time to reread all the beginning books in a series before the sequel comes out each year?
Now plenty of websites do have series recaps. But I’m just saying if ALL books in series had them + they are written by the author so you’ll know they’re right = LIFE WOULD BE A LOT BETTER. And more convenient. And there’s pretty much no other point to life except making it convenient for me, yes?
2. HALF STARS.
I MEAN, WHY NOT, GOODREADS. WE KEEP ASKING FOR IT.
Apparently there’s some “study” that shows people are less likely to rate books if they have to rate with half-stars but like…pfft. Next you’re going to try and convince me the moon is not made out of cheese and and the core of the earth isn’t running with melted chocolate. I SEE LIES. I SEE THEM.
What’s the big deal, is what I want to know?!? You wouldn’t have to use half stars…but you could if you wanted! And there is a huge difference between a book that’s 3.5 stars and a book that’s just 3 stars. Huge. And don’t even get me started on the books that are worth more than 4 but not quite 5.
You know how many crises could be avoided if we had half stars? ALL OF THEM.
3. KEEPS TRACK OF MORE STATS FOR YOU.
Goodreads does keep track of a lot of stats which is #1 reason I LOVE IT SO AND WOULD MARRY IT IN THE MORNING EXCEPT I’M COMMITTED TO MY BOOKSHELF. However, it doesn’t keep track of enough stats for me. I have to have a spreadsheet too. Darn it, Goodreads, why are you making me work so much more when you could be automated?
SMOL LIST OF THINGS I WANT GOODREADS TO TRACK:
- countries books come from
- debuts or not
- formats commonly read
- published year of books
- how hungry the book made me
- dragon ratios
- most read colours on covers
- types of diversity
- common genres
- how stressed I was and how much chocolate had to be consumed
Just, you know, normal and average things. I don’t even ask for much.
4. STICKER REWARD SYSTEM.
I love stickers. You love stickers. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY GOODREADS DOESN’T GIVE US MORE STICKERS. Look the NaNoWriMo website gives you stickers for reaching goals, so like??? Come on Goodreads??? I want to have sticker charts for my 2017 goals.
And I think there should be mini goals to reach too. Like OH STICKER TIME because you read 10 books over 800 pages.
And OH STICKER TIME you’ve made this many friends even though you’re an antisocial grapefruit.
And OH STICKER TIME you participated in a discussion without crying.
Just normal and encouraging things like this??! I’m 99% sure if there were more stickers happening, everyone on Goodreads would be better behaved.
5. ALLOWS MORE FORMATTING OPTIONS IN REVIEWS.
HTML is okay….but it’s a huge bother. I’d really love if gif-keyboards and emojis were more easily added. Because 99% of my internet vocabulary is EMOJI. I like people to know what I’m feeling!
Because there’s a huge difference between:
“I HATE THIS BOOK❤️💔😭❤️” and “I HATE THIS BOOK😒😠😖”
I guess humans could learn to say exactly what they mean instead of the opposite all the time??? But c’mon, please let’s not be unrealistic.
It’d be also great if… it was easier to hyper-link to other reviews, websites, blogs, or friendly poisonous reptiles. And to have font size differences?!?? And like bullet-point lists?!? THESE THINGS MAKE IT EASIER TO READ REVIEWS.
Get onto it, Goodreads.
6. ALLOWS THREADED REPLIES.
BECAUSE IT’D MAKE IT MUCH EASIER TO YELL AT SPECIFIC PEOPLE.
Hahah!! I’m kidding! I’m…kidding…okay come back, don’t be scared of me.
It would just make having conversations much more clear and linear, instead of replies happening like 6 comments later or me forgetting who I replied to. Which happens all the time because I have the memory of a murdered toaster oven.
7. GIVES A POP-UP WARNING BEFORE YOU ENGAGE WITH TROLLS.
Look sometimes I get snarky. Sometimes I forget ignoring is better than engaging. It’d be nice if I wrote my 500-word essay on why this condescending troll is WRONG and then had a popup that said helpful things like:
- “Hi Cait, is this a good idea?”
- “Hello Cait, do you want to start a war?”
- “Heyyyy Cait, will this rebuttal actually help with anything or just feed the fires of Mt. Doom?”
- “HEY CAIT IT’S OKAY, GOODREADS STILL LOVES YOU, THE TROLLS DON’T MATTER.”
Then maybe Goodreads could pat my shoulder and talk me through it. Sort out some troll fights? I don’t know. This doesn’t seem like a tall order.
8. TURNS YOU INTO MASTER OF THE DARK ARTS.
Look, I’m just saying. It would be handy. Some of us need extra life skills and I could think of 104 ways to put this to good use. Goodreads is supposed to be a helpful community isn’t it? WELL THEN?????
9. HAS AN “YOU MIGHT ALSO NOT LIKE” FEATURE.
Now I don’t know what Goodreads “You might like” suggestion box has been snacking on, but I think it was mouldy, because OH WOW does it give me some random suggestions.
The Tiger’s Watch is a FANTASY????? This suggestion is a CONTEMPORARY??? And the Ship Beyond Time is about HISTORICAL FICTION + TIME TRAVEL…so sure I want a vampire book right after that.
If they could get their act together with this warped algorithm, I propose doing one for books to avoid. Because life is short!! We waste too much time on gnarly books. It’d be great if when you clicked on a book it had a “it’s like this book x book that you didn’t like” and then I’ll knoooooooow to take my smol soul somewhere else.
10. HAS LINKS TO TASTY “BONUS” CONTENT FOR BOOKS.
Look I’m just asking Goodreads to save me time googling all this stuff myself because I’m
lazy a very busy person.
Have links to:
- interviews with the author
- sample chapters
- FAN ART, mate
- analysis on the characters’ Hogwarts houses because that’s what I’m here for
- a printable map so I might cover my walls with the glorious art.
- Also like food recipes included in the book would be nice
- along with a spreadsheet of the characters’ names because heck if I remember what they are
- also update it with ANY AND ALL news about sequels + new books + awards and things
- also while you’re at it, like tell us what new book deals have been finalised in the Publisher Weekly and such
- just keep me updated
I’m not sure WHO is going to keep up with all these updates. Hopefully some very clever wraith of the night who’s good at typing. But basically Goodreads should be a HUB OF NEWS AND INFORMATION AND COMMUNITY. With half stars. And I won’t lie, it’d be super handy if it delivered care packages with shock blankets, tea, a nice poem, and several iced cakes.
I don’t think my demands are too high or wildly variable, right?