For some unfathomable reason, everyone LOVES to lie to bookworms.
It’s completely incomprehensible. What did we do to deserve this? It’s like me, a delicate youth, being given a dairy-free cheesecake and no matter how delicious it is still not ever going to be a cheesecake due to having NO FREAKING CHEESE. One of the many reasons I’ve lost faith in humanity.
And as a bookworm? Apparently I have a sign on my back that says: LIE TO ME. THIS MIGHT BE FUN.
It is not fun. It is very not fun.
Bookworms start off as creatures of shiny-eyed and heartfelt enthusiasm who love sparkles! Shiny covers! Dragon eggs! Buried treasure! And then you all go an start LYING TO US and we turn into pithily jaded growls in the darkness.
However I’d like to think we bookworms are hard to fool after a while. All these shenanigans and the wool people like to pull over our eyes? Nonsense.
We see.
We know.
We remember.
Now I do see the question in your dead, dead eyes that sounds something a lot like “What the heck is she on about THIS TIME BECAUSE I CAN’T TAKE THE LEVEL OF MAD AROUND HERE” which is a super sweet question and I appreciate it and will answer it.
Today I’m listing 10 lies we bookworms get told ALL THE TIME. Like we haven’t gotten wise by now. HA. We have. You need to stop fooling us, humans on the earth!!! We are DONE taking this nonsense.
1. WHENEVER BOOK SELLERS SAY “IT’S THE NEXT HARRY POTTER!”
Basically any and all “it’s the next ____!!” are total and utter lies. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY BELIEF LEFT IN ME. Particularly when it seems like most sale pitches in publishing these days are just cobbling together big name titles. Like “This book is Harry Potter meets The Fault In Our Stars!!!” And I just…I cannot. *
I mean I GET why they do it. They pick titles most likely to be known by the populace. But it just sets the book up for disappointment! Can you believe I discovered The Scorpio Races on a list of books “just like The Hunger Games”???????? I’m still struggling, 4 years later, to understand HOW.
* Although fanfic of two terminally ill wizards falling in love could be interesting, I suppose. Especially if they use all sorts of risky magic trying to save each other–WAIT THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE A GOOD PLOT–
2. WHENEVER THE WORDS “THIS BOOK IS BEING MADE INTO A MOVIE” ARE USED.
See the correct words are: This book has been glanced over once by a film maker and someone has roughly summed it up in two sentences via wikipedia and now they’re making a movie using the title and 3 character names and literally nothing else at all.
See??? SO much more accurate.
They say “adaption” but I think “gutting like a worm on a fishhook” is a little more on point.
3. WHEN AUTHORS WHO SMASH FEELS AND BREAK HEARTS SAY THAT THEY’RE SORRY.
They’re not sorry. Do you know why? Because they just ARE DOING IT AGAIN. They’re probably on twitter typing out, “Sorry!” with an apologetic emoji in response to fans’ suffering while on their other laptop screen they’re literally outlining 19 more brutal character deaths and have a spreadsheet to calculate how many readers’ tears they’ll need to drink to achieve level: Evil Author Ultimate™.
I, as an author, would never do that obviously and am not speaking from inside knowledge. *
The other day I saw Adam Silvera on twitter saying he was writing a book that wasn’t as “feels destroying” as usual. I CAN SEE THE LIES RISING UPON THE MOUNTAIN TOPS. I love his books. I love them. But I’m pretty sure he exists to cause us pain.
* MORE LIES!! THIS POST IS FULL OF LIES!!
4. BEAUTIFUL BOOK COVERS WITH TERRIBLE INSIDES.
This is like just as BAD as the cheese-less cheesecake. It’s a despicable breach of my trust and my delicate self worth and I’m still in pain at every pretty cover that’s lied to me. Like, I cherished you??? I bought you because you were so beautiful??? I kept you safe from the evil that doesn’t sleep in Morder??? All I asked is that your beautiful cover delicately be wrapped around an amazing story.
It’s just WORSE these days since I’m on bookstagram and my #1 criteria for a book is whether (A) the spine helps fulfil my languishing rainbow arrays * and (B) whether the cover will look beautiful and photogenic. Um, yeah, I’m a shallow as a kiddie wading pool but I DON’T CARE. I need shiny gorgeous things in my life because I am a dragon.
They just also need to contain good stories inside. Please. Please. I can’t take the stabs to my soul anymore.
* Dude, do you realise how hard it is to find yellow naked spines??? And green for some reason?! I have 0% pink so like I just pretend that part of the rainbow doesn’t exist. IT’S RAINBOW ERASURE AND MY BOOKSTAGRAM SUFFERS FOR IT.
5. WHEN BOOKS HAVE MULTIPLE TITLES.
Just go ahead and lie to me, why don’t you, about how many books an author has. No joke, I actually once borrowed two books from the library by Cath Crowley: Chasing Charlie Duskin and a Little Wanting Song.
SURPRISE. THEY’RE THE SAME BOOK.
I still can’t understand why they change book titles. Like The Cresswell Plot is the same as In The Dark, In The Woods??? I don’t know what’s going on half the time generally, because I live in a small quiet world of delusion and grandeur. But books seem quite bent on just making it all worse.
6. BOOKS THAT LOOK SO SMALL AND INNOCENT AND SWEET.
This is like another ploy of cover designers to wreak havoc and I’ve begun to think that they’re the second-cousins of VOLDEMORT HIMSELF and just want to confuse and destroy. But I pick up books all the time that look so happy! And innocent! And kind! And full of fun! And then–
I WAS JUST STANDING HERE MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS AND NOW LOOK AT MY FEELS. THEY’RE SPLATTERED ALL OVER THE WALL. YOU’VE GIVEN ME ANXIETY. YOU’VE MADE A MESS.
I am a mess.
Thanks for nothing.
Mostly I just need books to contain small notes that say: warning, contains your demise.
7. BOOKSTORES THAT CLAIM TO BE SUPER CHEAP.
I’m not sure if this is just in Australia, but we have a bookstore chain that has a slogan of “Where you’ll never pay full price!” Yes. That is true. Because you pay freaking twice that much. I’m still salty that I can’t actually ever buy locally because I want to keep both my kidneys and not hawk them off for more books. It’s weird, my love of my own organs. I shouldn’t be so pedantic I suppose but yet. Kidneys. They seem nice.
Speaking of buying things….I also feel lied to just about by every bookish merchandise store that ever exists. Humans will be like, “Well it’s not too expensive to buy from here!” and I’ll frolic over like a wee lamb to slaughter and — BAM. Let me remind you that you’re poor and if you want both kidneys there is no affording that postage.
I think this post just turned into Struggles Of A Bookworm With No Money And A Strange Organ Attachment but you know what. Whatever. The day my blog turns sensible and orderly is the day you organise a rescue party because clearly I’ve been locked behind the moon and a fiend is running my page.
8. MY BOOKSHELF, CLAIMING IT CAN FIT MORE BOOKS IN IT.
Actually the one lying here might be me telling myself that SURE I can take out a 200pg novel and squeeeeeeze in a 500pg one in its place. What could go wrong!! But I swear my bookshelf is also to blame because I’ll leave it unattended with like several spare spots for books and then when I bring in new books….those holes are suddenly gone?
If this isn’t a giant conspiracy then WHAT IS IT.
9. BOOKS WITH “NEXT BOOK PREVIEW” AT THE BACK.
Don’t get me wrong, bonus content is rather incredibly cool. BUT NOT WHEN YOU’RE NOT WARNED BEFOREHAND, OKAY. You know when you’re reading an incredible book and it’s all tense and you’re like, “Oh great! There’s at least 3 more chapters!” and you read on with confidence, never knowing you should be savouring this last chapter. Because — LET’S HIT YOU WITH IT:
Those last pages? Preview for another book.
No no…it’s ok…these aren’t tears. It’s just raining on my entire life.
LITERALLY @ HOW IT FEELS WHEN A BOOK BETRAYS YOU BY FINISHING SOONER THAN YOU ANTICIPATED AND THROWING YOU OFF THE CLIFF BACK INTO REALITY
10. THE WORDS “RTC” ON REVIEWS ON GOODREADS.
Book bloggers have lots of little abbreviations because we’re busy creatures and have planets to destroy and wizard to eat and socialising with family to avoid. So it’s logical that we use our own language! Like “DNF” = did not finish. And “HEA” = happily ever after. And “OTP” = one true pairing.
These are all lovely and make sense!
Now “RTC” is supposed to mean “Review To Come” but what it actually means is: I READ A BOOK AND EITHER I’M BUSY OR I DON’T FEEL LIKE WRITING A REVIEW NOW OR IT’S TOO EARLY BUT I’M NEVER EVER EVER EVER COMING BACK TO WRITE THIS REVIEW SO LIKE, WHATEVER, SUFFER TOGETHER.
Which you can imagine is hard to condense into a fun acronym. So instead they LIE TO US and just say “review to come!” all perkily like we don’t know the review is never coming. I see this on books from 2013. Like, nobody remembers what they read in 2013. That review is as likely to appear now as the moon is to suddenly be made out of cheese. *
* There is a lot of dairy mentioned in this post. I guess you could say, the whole post is rather CHEESY. [insert me dying of laughter @ my own pure wit]
I SUFFERED FROM ALL OF THESE. Also somehow I feel bad about books being labeled as “the next ____ !” because books have their own identity, don’t try to pretend they’re just like [NAME OF BESTSELLER] yo. It confuses everyone and the book will have an identity crisis.
Previews on the back of the novel are EVUL. I finished you, book. I don’t want to read a snippet of the next one without actually /having the next one/. It’s like eating a cheesecake, being all happy about it, and then you get to eat a bit of pie but someone takes it away from you sayin’ “nuh-huh, gotta wait a year to eat the full pie”. AND I’M NO LONGER HAPPY ABOUT MY CHEESECAKE BECAUSE NOW I WANT THE FREAKING PIE YOU ABSOLUTE DEMON.
I own some books with beautiful covers but I personally disliked the story. I won’t tell you which ones because you reviewed it and gave it 5 stars and I don’t want a dragon / volcano in my yard (esp. because now I live next to a cemetery so don’t). But honestly the worst ? Having a wonderful premise and not doing it justice. It angers me both as a reader and a writer. “YOU HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA SO WHY THIS PLOT ?? JUST WHY ??”
Exactly! Why on EARTH do people insist on giving these poor little newbie books such big identity crises?! And I also hate when the label is tRUE because then the new little baby book is probably a horrible rip-off and who the heck wants that?!? 😭 It’s all DOOMED.
And I’m glad I’m not the only one who hates those previews. Omg give me more of the book, don’t TAUNT me with potential than take it away.😭
The only thing I will turn into a volcano about is The Raven Cycle. *pats shoulder* Otherwise I’m very reasonable about people not liking my favourites. 😂
And also totally agree about the good-premise-but-bad-execution. That’s just like giving us papercuts and pouring lemon juice on it.
UGH YESS I HAVE BEEN STABBED REPEATEDLY BY ALL OF THESE! The pretty covers thing is something that has always broke my heart because I have read amazing books that have awful covers and I’ll just be sitting here like, “I wanna take you home but you’re just so ugly” which is funny cause they say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and it applies to everything except books. XD
Yes yes exactly!! Like heck yes we’re going to judge books by their covers. 😂 We can’t not?!?
Honestly my bookshelf is the biggest liar of THEM ALL. I’m at the point now where I’m just stacking books up on my desk because I actually can’t fit anything more on the actual shelves (and I have TWO book cases, and somehow they’re both filled!?) Gah. I have no room for a third but for some reason I keep buying books. Shame on me.
SAME. I’M CRYING OVER THIS CONSTANTLY.😭 Like I keep going to read books off my TBR that are the right colours to still fit in my bookshelf. Ah, the struggles of rainbow organisation though. I can’t read any more blue books. I JUST CAN’T.
It doesn’t get better. I have 19 bookshelves (OK, three are my daughter’s and a couple are the whole family) and they are ALL filled. It’s really out of hand and I need to prune. But it’s hard!
You had me at pithily jaded growls. My own most hated lie: if you liked x, you’ll love y. WHY DO THEY ASSUME YOU WILL LIKE IT WHEN THERE’S ONLY SUPERFICIAL SIMILARITY?!
SEE EXACTLY THAT?!? Or else it’s TOO similar and here I’m reading feeling like it’s a rip-off something I originally loved.😭
Oh gosh, the ‘rtc’ thing from anything more than a month ago irritates me so darn much. I used to do that, but these days I just keep a book on my currently reading shelf until I pull myself together and review it. I don’t like books with extracts either…like if I want an extract I’ll just read the sample on the digital library. Burning Glass and Lorali both have nice covers and not very good innards (what a great word, right?) I sometimes tell myself I don’t need more books which is clearly a lie.
Good innards is DEFINITELY a good term for this. I agree. And I’m still bitterly betrayed by beautiful books with dull innards. Like we are good people?!?? What did we do to deserve this???😭
I have suffered from quite a few of these! The comparison one, I’ve had a bit of a hit and miss with because there have been books that were compared to bestsellers that I really loved, like Unwind, my copy says on the cover try this if you love the Hunger Games and I really loved it, even more than The Hunger Games so that one actually went well for me! I saw a book that had “the next JK Rowling” on it and I felt so sorry for the poor author! I don’t mind books being made into movies, but I hate it when as soon as a book is made into a movie, the only cover available seems to be the movie tie in cover, or they put on one of those annoying stickers that says “Now a major motion picture!”. Haha yes, authors are never sorry! I went to a SJM event, told her that the end of Heir of Fire broke me and she was gleeful! Sadists these authors I tell you!
Number 4 is the actual worst. I hate it when a pretty cover contains a rubbish book that I am then doomed to have sitting on my shelf for all eternity because it’s so beautiful.
I’ve actually never experienced number 5……..
I usually know what I’m getting into when I pick up books but I’m sure there have been books that I’ve read that have looked sweet and innocent and then totally killed my feels.
I usually buy from Waterstones and they’ve never claimed to be super cheap! They do good deals though, buy one get one half price pretty often, they have a reward card and stamp cards where you basically get a free book after you get ten stamps, which I think is pretty good-it works out well for me anyway, cause I buy multiple books quite often so it never takes long to get ten stamps!
I wish my bookshelves could be like the Tardis, bigger on the inside!
Ugh I hate the next book preview. Like excuse me, you’re making me think there’s more story and it’s just a preview for your next book. Umm no?
Authors totally ARE sadists. They THRIVE ON OUR PAIN AND TEARS.😂 And omg any book that’s pitched as “the next Harry Potter” makes me immediately feel bad for it because like it WON’T get there and people will be extra hard on it.😭
That is SO cool that Waterstones has a reward card!! I generally buy from a little Aussie online store that gives you reward points so like you can eventually earn enough to get a free book which is amazing.😜And kiiiind of makes up for the SUPER INFLATED PRICES IN GENERAL.😭
Previews are just such lies omg.
YES TO BASICALLY ALL OF THESE but ESPECIALLY the beautiful covers/terrible book example. Like, what is an easily attracted aesthetic book magpie to do when she picks a book on a whim because the cover is BEAUTIFUL and the synopsis has important words like “magic” or “wizards” and then you read it and it is A HEAPING PILE OF GARBAGE. WHY. WHY MUST WE BE FOOLED THIS WAY.
THIS. THIS IS SUCH A PROBLEM FOR ME TOO. I am so fully a magpie for beautiful covers and yet??? They can be so rude and disappointing inside? *cries because has been lied to*
I don’t use RTC because I never know whether or not I’ll find the words, and I don’t like to promise things that may never come. :’)
I love it when books break me. No apology necessary! :’)
Aww aren’t you lovely not promising reviews that never come.😂 I only have one “RTC” on a book on goodreads, and I fULLY do intend to update it. *stares at self sternly* Don’t forget, Cait, omg.
ALL OF THE LIES!!! Though when I put rtc, I mean it. I can’t start another book until I review the book I just finished (I can only read one book at a time). So either within the day or a couple days if life is super busy and I can’t pull myself together right away i’ll have a review up, and then onto the next book! 😀 I refuse to start another book when I still have a review to write, because if I do how will remember what I read?
I’m pretty sure if I’ve heard all of these lies. So many lies! My poor naive bookish heart :'(
Ohh you are good with your RTC’s then!! 😂 Honestly most of the time when I see them on goodreads…they’ve been there for 3+ years.😂 (Also I’m basically the same, haha, if I don’t review straight away I’LL FORGET THE ENTIRE BOOK.)
We bookworms suffer so much omg.
Oooh! I so agree with these! Let it be original, not “the next Game of Thrones”. Or whatever. It can stand on its own if it’s good. Don’t give me expectations.
I like when authors have input into movie/TV adaptations. But really, any filming crew needs someone who’s rad the book and can go ‘WTF is wrong with you, why do you think k this change would fly??’
(Aahhahhaahha re: Hulk and Thor)
Previews are poison.
Oh, this one, this one: You see a surprise beautiful cover from your favorite authors and your heart stops only to find that it’s only available on Kindle and you cannot add it to the stunning collection of books you can PICK UP AND POINT AT AND BRAG ABOUT leaving your collection lacking. LACKING.
YESSS TO ALL OF THIS.
Especially the ‘next Harry Potter’ one because it seriously is inflating the hype up to huge proportions. Like seriously.
I recently picked up a book that claimed in was the next Six of Crows (??) and least to say IM DISAPPOINTED. It wasn’t even a heist!
Oh! And the pretty cover thing is so accurate! I now think the uglier the cover, the better the content. BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN FOOLED ONE TOO MANY TIMES.
Hi Cait!
I love this post, and I can relate to every bit of it! I haven’t realized until you mentioned it, but yes bonus book previews are annoying! I remember reading a book on my Kindle, thinking that I am 70% through, then turning the page and seeing that it’s over! It’s like a slap on my face :O Did not see that coming!
I agree so much about beautiful book covers. I used to buy books based on their covers but realized shortly that not all of them were good books. Now I rely mainly on ratings and reviews on goodreads and from other bloggers, and i enjoy my books much more. I got to say though, your bookstagram is super amazing, so maybe it is worth it 🙂
Absolutely love this post. Your posts always make me smile 🙂
Cheers,
Sophie
Book previews at the back of a novel just annoy me in general, because I read them, then I realize that I have to buy the next book now. But by the time I buy the next book I only faintly remember the preview, so I have to reread but then my memory comes back AS I’M READING IT! That’s mostly my own fault, but hey it still annoys me so I avoid it. Even worse than books that look all small and dainty but aren’t, are books that look like they’re packed with extreme action then you start and there IS ONE! Like WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? WHY MUST COVER DESIGNERS NEVER REFLECT THE BOOKS TRUE CONTENT?
OMG, I did that with Level 2 which is now the Memory Chronicles and Hotel Ruby which is now Hotel for the Lost. I grabbed both of those name changes thinking OMG OMG OMG OMG ITs a book two. Just to find out that they just didn’t change the cover but the title. I was so man!!!
I hate when pretty books have ugly insides because then I’m stuck in a huge quandary. I like pretty books, but I don’t have a lot of shelf space, so I can’t keep books that I never plan on rereading. It hurts when I have to send a pretty book to a new home.
1. YES YES YES to this. This is like… my #1 turnoff on books! If you’re telling me “for fans of THE HUNGER GAMES and DIVERGENT” all you’re telling me is:
– This book is like neither.
– This book MIGHT be another dystopia with awkward romance that I don’t want?
– You aren’t confident enough about the book not to name drop? IDK, just makes me wary.
When I look through books to add to my TBR I almost ALWAYS skip books that name drop in their summaries. Unless the author wrote those other books.
2. YOU FORGOT TO ADDRESS THE FILM RIGHTS. How about when the film rights have been sold and they’re keeping them forever and YOU WILL NEVER GET A MOVIE FOOLISH READERS HAHAHAHAHA. The rights to The Queen of the Tearling were sold before the book’s release and Emma Watson was attached and I WANT TO SEE THAT MOVIE but there hasn’t been a peep in like… 3 years. And now it’s probably not happening. AND I AM A PUDDLE OF DISAPPOINTMENT.
5. Hahahahahah I wrote a whole post on this years ago when Robin Wasserman renamed her Skinned Trilogy to Cold Awakenings and the titles felt SO MUCH LESS RELEVANT to the books and I don’t understand. WHY.
You are evil with that Mufasa GIF…. :'(
Ugh I hate the next Harry Potter thing! Nothing will ever be Harry Potter! Stop trying to make that happen!!
I hate when books have beautiful covers but the story itself is not good! I am looking at you ‘The Nest!’
Once again fantastic and completely related post!! 😍
These are all so true! My least favorite lie is probably “this book is coming out next year!” Because let’s face it – it’s always the book that you’re REALLY anticipating that gets pushed back. And then again. And then maybe again if you’re really unlucky.
I automatically trust a book more when it’s compared to a book I love, but a book that I know is not totally mainstream. THEN I can believe that the two stories are actually similar. When someone tries to pull the whole “the next Divergent with an Eleanor & Park twist and a dash of Percy Jackson!” thing, I start to give that book a side-eye.
Ugh, yes, beautiful covers with horrible stories makes me feel SO BETRAYED. I can name more than a few stories I haven’t totally liked that had cool covers: The Haters by Jesse Andrews, No One Else Can Have You by Kathleen Hale, Passenger by Alexandra Bracken, A Totally Awkward Love Story by Tom Ellen . . . should I go on?
Oh, “next book preview” is the worst!!! I don’t want spoilers! I don’t care if I’m reading a re-print and everybody else in the world has already read the next book in the series, and for them it’s not a spoiler — for me it is!!!
And, yeah, organs are great. So we’re not going to find ways to live without them just so we can pay $109 more than we actually needed to in order to obtain said new release or anticipated sequel.
Being poor and being a bookdragon is the worst. Not enough people realize this. I suffer with it all the time (SAHM=not a lot of book cash).
And I can’t stand it when publishers decide to change titles for the paperback version or something. Yes, I agree, there is too much angst created by publishers, and it just needs to stop!
ASDFJKL this post so true. RTC = i will not review it unless i reread it sorry man
also i once had a dairy-free and sugar-free cheesecake and i swear how am i not dead from it.
This post is so relatable!!! 😆 For the movie thing, though, I’ve actually had this happen to me more: I search up the book title, find an article that says the book is going to be made into a movie, then I do more research and find out that the book was actually just offered to directors as a POSSIBILITY to turn into a movie. 🙁
And of course people shouldn’t judge books by its covers, but the fact still remains that many people are drawn to pretty covers. I have so many books on my shelves that have gorgeous covers (*cough cough* FROSTFIRE) but with insides that made me regret the fifteen dollars I spent on the hardcover novel. 😋😅
(I have to admit, though, books with pretty covers on my shelves always are clearly visible because AESTHETICS MATTER)
Thanks for this hilarious post! 😋
I FEEL PERSONALLY ATTACKED BY THE LAST ONE 😂 I have like 15 books I need to review on Goodreads and they’re almost all marked “RTC”. I promise I intend to put up reviews…in the next few years…if I happen to remember what the book is about…
Some sale pitches are incredibly annoying but I don’t buy it for a second so I don’t set myself up for disappointment. I mean there’s a tiny bit excitement when I see big names but I’ve learned to not expect anything similar to what they’re pitching.
And I don’t buy/read books solely for their covers but sometimes the synopsis sounds so good and you get to the book but it turns out to be garbage fire 🤷
“A Monster Calls” by Patrick Ness pretty much fits into Number 6. I thought it was gonna be a bit creepy, I might not be able to sleep tonight, and then A TORNADO OF FEELS LANDED ON MY HOUSE AND TRANSPORTED ME TO FEELSLAND. Like, that was not remotely fair.
OH. OH OH. NO. I DESPISE THE SEQUEL PREVIEWS AT THE END. I had finished a book the other day and judged that I had around 20 ish pages left. NOOOO. I’m reading a delightful chapter and I turn the page for the next one and… THE SERIES CONTINUES IN 2018. Uh, maybe finish the book? You lied? Why? I was calm and didn’t feel the pain of the last word but then you hit me? I took you into my home and you do THIS? I cared for you like I would my own child. Which you are, let’s be honest. WHICH MAKES IT EVEN WORSE.
And bookstores… OHHH. There was once a sign that read ‘50% OFF ON BOOKS’. So naturally, I ran in faster than I already was, because I CAN BUY DOUBLE OF WHAT I WENT IN FOR. YES. I walk in and… There’s a teeny, tiny table stacked with ten books. TEN. And none I actually wanted. THOSE are 50% off. And just… LIES. You broke my heart. AND I SHALL BREAK YOURS. By buying a book and ridding your perfect shelves of one book and leaving a hole that resembles the one in my heart. And the one that’ll soon be in your head, you deceitful bookstore.
Ahem.
Have a lovely day, Cait! 😀
Mishka
You know, I became a bookdragon to have a good time and I honestly feel so betrayed right now.
I HAD NO IDEA SUCH MALICIOUS LIES WERE ALL AROUND ME. I have had my eyes open and HERE THEY ARE.
(especially the price of books. When I am told books are cheap, I expect them to be 5o cents or two acorns or something CHEAP. But noOOoOo, they cost roughly the same as the Princess of Genovia’s dowry. It’s a cruel, cruel world)
I KNOW RIGHT. Especially the pretty covers one 😭 There’s also the praise at the back of the book ! I’ve learned to NEVER EVER believe it. Because if I read it, I’m 92% likely to hate the book 😣 Or A Song of Ice and Fire books, the 2nd and 3rd book LOOK the same size, but the 3rd has at least 300 PAGES MORE. Because of the font size and the paper’s thickness *sob*
Books with different titles drive me crazy! It’s especially frustrating when I request an ARC from netgalley, and can’t find the book in goodreads, only to figure out that it’s because it’s being re-published under a different title! Previews at the end of the book are pure evil, and it tricks me into thinking there’s more of the book than there really is..
I’ve never experienced books/bookish merch being more expensive than advertised, which makes me grateful but also really sad you have to deal with it! The comparison to other books is hit and miss for me, sometimes I ended up really loving the book, so it’s awesome, But when I don’t love it…I also pity the poor book/author that’s compared to Harry Potter/JK Rowling, because HOW DO YOU COMPETE WITH THAT?
When you think a book is coming, but it’s not, because the release date keeps getting pushed back. It’s a huge, huge lie, because you’re making me think a book is coming soon, and then it’s not, and I keep getting excited over nothing. Or thinking a sequel is coming when it’s not. I’ve given up on a couple of books that I thought were coming and now probably aren’t.
Ahh, I love this post so much! I could relate to all of them, especially 3, 6 and 9, but worse of all is 8 HAHA! With RTC, I actually just lie to myself whenever I use it. 🙁
Kim @ Divergent Gryffindor
AAAGGGHH!!! THE HORRENDOUS LIES WE ARE TOOOOLD!!! I am STILL dying inside from all lies I have been told in my career as a Reader. (it’s totally a job, random person reading the comments. Ask Her Majestic Dragonness Paper Fury. It’s a job.)
But of all of them, I think the next book previews are the worst. I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM WITH A FIERY PASSION FROM INFERNO AND I AM JUST OVER HERE WAILING AND GRINDING MY TEETH (actually not, because that is gross, noisy, and kind of hurts. When I need some English man’s bones for bread, I will ask.) AND DYING INSIDE JUST THINKING ABOUT THE HORROR THAT IS THIS LIE.
I HATE IT. IT SHOULD BE A CRIME TO HUMANITY AND PUNISHABLE WITH THE LAST PAGE OF EVERY BOOK BEING RIPPED OUT AND BURNED BEFORE THE CRIMINAL GETS THE CHANCE TO READ IT.
THAT’S HOW HORRIBLE IT IS!!!
Seriously, that SHOULD be a punishment for bookworms. It’s worse than death.
Actually I saw a pin on Pinterest that was like: my teacher caught me reading in class and took my book and read the ending and said: If I catch you reading in class again I will tell you the ending of this book.
LIKE DUDE! THAT IS SOME HARSH PUNISHMENT RIGHT THERE. I WOULD BE AN PERFECT STUDENT, IF MY PARENTS DID THAT TO ME.
*silently begs parentals not to read this comment*
aNyway, this post was BRILLIANT as all your posts are, dear.
And yes, I will personally lead the rescue party when your posts become sane and organized and you don’t mention cake. I WILL SAVE YOU AND MURDER THE FIEND WHO IS RUNNING YOUR BLOG.
Your posts keep me insane. I need that. It’s all I have left…
XD
Cait, as an aspiring writer, I can personally promise to never lie to you!*
*Nah, that’s a lie.
Cait, as an aspiring writer, I can promise to never lie to you!*
*Nah, that’s a lie.
I HATE previews at the end. Especially on Kindle…..80% Oh good! Just kidding….im gonna push you off a cliff now. And you are spot on with everything else! Love your blog btw. You have encouraged me to let more of my crazy personality show in my posts. Love long and prosper Kate!
hahaha… i totally am someone who says RTC and then 75% of the time i ACTUALLY have a review to come. this is more prevalent when i’ve just finished reading a book that is part of a series. it gets harder?? I DON’T KNOW. i swear, i’m not lying at first… 😛
NO. DO NOT GIVE ME A BOOK PREVIEW. these are infuriating for so many reasons. the most important reason for fury is that you think there’s more to come of the book you’re reading. the second reason is that you start reading it at 3am and GUESS WHAT book stores are not open at that time and that’s just cruel. the third reason is OOPS SPOILER. you meant to flip to the page you were on in the book you are CURRENTLY reading? hahaha NOPE. YOU GET SECOND BOOK. rude.
I DO NOT LIE WHEN I SAY RTC. In fact I avoid SAYING RTC because I write my review As soon as i can.DO you trust me Cait?? OHH BOOKS WITH PRETTY COVERS THAT ARE HORRIBLE? Can we make these crimes please? Can we call the book police. CAN WE?!! Books having multiple titles just confuses my soul. LIKE WHYYY? Why? I can’t even come up with ONE title, how do you come up with MOREEE? HOW WHAT IS THIS LIFE
I don’t like book previews. I try not to read them if they’re there. If I want to read the next book, I’ll read the next book! (I know I probably won’t get around to reading the next book soon, so if I read the preview, I’ll just have to read those pages over again when I actually get the book because I will have forgotten. That’s kind of a waste of time; I’d rather spend it reading something else.)
Pretty cover with a bad book… Isn’t that pretty much the definition of YA? Hahaha… I kid, I kid. Really, though, you could toss a pebble into a bookstore and hit a book that fits that description. Twilight (yes, I like the cover, even though it’s been over-imitated at this point), Hush, Hush (forget the fact that I gave that one 4 stars; I might’ve been delirious at the time), Enchanted (the fairytale mess by Alethea Kontis), The Here and Now (aka Learn to Play Cards When You’re Supposed to Be Saving the World… although, I guess they might’ve decided against that title because it’s a bit long).
So, I finally finally FINALLY have time to sit down and read all of your posts, so expect lots of comments from me on your last like, 20 posts 😂 I’ve been saving all of the emails with your new posts so that I could catch up when I got back from vacation!
ANYWAY, this is the best post! It’s so true! It’s one of my pet peeves when books compare themselves to other books (thrillers are notoriously guilty of comparing themselves to Gone Girl or The Girl on the Train) and are nothing at all like them! WHY!?
Also, YES to beautiful covers with terrible stories, and YES to yellow naked spines being impossible to find! I only have ONE which I bought specifically because the spine is yellow! I also struggle finding orange and pink?! I only have one of each I think! Really, publishers need to start thinking of the bookstagram rainbow aesthetic and helping us out here! 😀
Interestingly, I’ve actually suffered at the opposite of the beautiful cover problem—the Ugly Cover Problem. Plenty of my favourite books have hideous covers, especially the earlier editions. Discworld suffers especially from this problem—you’d never guess they were pure genius by the horrific covers.
Gahh, it bugs me so much when book titles are different all the time. All of the books in Meg Cabot’s Princess Diaries and Mediator series were re-titled for the UK release and I’m still bitter about it to this day because it took so long to find them on Goodreads. And my copies of The Iron Fey have those annoying printed on stickers that say “the next Twilight” and it drives me mad having to see them because from the sounds of it, that series is nothing like Twilight at all. What gives, publishers?
I can’t stand book previews at the end of books – especially if there’s more than one – but one book I have just went a whole step further and put A WHOLE NOVELLA in the back of the book. Even worse, a novella that I bought and had already read about a year before the book it was in the back of was released. Why do publishers love to torment me to much? I just want one story in one book at a time 😭
Oh my goodness RTC is the biggest lie of them all. And it’s the worst because it’s what bookworms say to other bookworms. Oh, and I totally hate the next book preview lie. It totally gets me every time xD Or when we are promised a sequel or a follow on series and IT NEVER COMES. WHY THEY HAVE TO HURT MY SOUL LIKE THIS.
THE FIRST ONE IS THE BANE OF MY SORROWFUL EXISTENCE. I read All the Bright Places last month, and thought it was BEAUTIFUL AND GREAT AND HECK I PROPERLY LOVED IT, but I was mourning the reviews on the covers! The front of my edition says “The next Fault in Our Stars? This is it.” Like, really?? You can only promote the book by comparing it to another famous book?? As an author, I would HATE that. And also what is so similar? One is about cancer, one is about grief and suicide and mental illness. Sure there’s crossover in those areas but you can’t just lump every sad book about teenage romance and high school into one?? Is it because they both have a bright blue cover??
And then on the back, OH MAN, it was a review by the YouTuber Zoella. Now I’ve never watched one of her vids and can’t say anything about her as a person, but how about, like, a reputable newspaper?? If I hadn’t been highly rec’d the book by people I trust (yourself included), these two reviews would have killed it for me!
SO CAN WE STOP COMPARING BOOKS TO OTHER BOOKS. As an author that would slit me in half, if someone was like “oh look she’s kinda like [famous author]”. Like I want to be MYSELF???!!
GOSH.
Great post, as ever! <3
OH MY GOSH YES. THERE IS ONLY ONE HARRY POTTER. THERE IS ONLY ONE GAME OF THRONES. THERE IS ONLY ONE FREAKING HUNGER GAMES. JUST STOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s like they think we’re stupid. It’s ridiculous.
At this point, I refuse to read previews at the back. I will NOT play into their games. I will happily wait until the sequel arrives because, let’s be honest, I was going to buy it anyway. As for RTC, that is a lie I have told myself many, many times. I have a whole Goodreads shelf dedicated to them. *hangs head in shame*
And we don’t actually WANT these books to be told again!! Like we read them the first time!! Pls give us something new!!😂
And I also skip previews every single time haha. I mean either (a) I’m disappointed because I wanted more of the book, or (b) I don’t want to read a book partial??! The whole thing or nothing, thanks.
Ahh there are so many lies. My least favorite lie is when goodreads says the book is being published on a certain day, but due to Australia being the MIDDLE OF NO WHERE the book’s release here isn’t for another month????? WHAYYYYYY???
Omg YES to the publishing dates!!! LIke I just ordered a book from an Aussie retailer that was supposed to be out in JULY and it never arrived, so I emailed and they’re like “Oh no it comes out in October actually here.”
uguguhguhg.😭😂
YESSSS. Especially on the RTC. Why I try not to do that. >.> HEY I’M a sinful human bean too. So shush. I totally feel you about the ‘cheap books’. A cheap book should be FREE-$5. It’s really how this works, man. #2 was probably my favorite, though. 😉
Seriously, I hate watching the movies of books. And yet I often end up watching them anyways. What is wrong with my liiife …
Bahhaha, omg books are just so expensive.😭😂 I mean, I don’t really want them to be free because I know and believe writers deserve to be paid BUT HOLY KELP I NEED TO SELL A KIDNEY TO AFFORD THIS LIFE.
Oh my goodness, the most annoying thing for me is when I watch the movie after reading the book and IT’S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I absolutely hate it when they change important bits of the story!
I was super annoyed when I watched The Hunger Games and found out that this old lady gave Katniss her mockingjay pin INSTEAD of Madge! Madge wasn’t in at all. To this day I still wish Madge had been in it.
It is SO frustrating. They literally gut the book and it’s just like??? What is the point of this.😭 They might as well just make an original movie and save us bookworms the TEARS.
Ha! Someone else who thinks like I do… previews at the back of books so the story you can’t put down ends way before you expect. That’s evil right there! I wrote a post about it once upon a time Why I Hate the Sneak Peak
Previews are just so so annoying!! I’m never going to be a fan!!
I think…I think I just died of laughter… This post was absolutely HILARIOUS, oh my goodness.
And so so so SO painfully true! Just, yes. YES TO ALL OF THIS. 😂😂😂
Number 2 is probably one of my worst peeves. Like, do the people making these movies even READ the book??? Did they spend entire years of their lives fangirling over the characters and plot like I did???? I DON’T THINK SO. Obviously, I am more qualified to make this movie than them.
THANK YOU FOR THIS POST, CAIT! This was absolute brilliance!! XD
I’m like 99% the people who make the book-to-film-adaptions have never read the book in their life.😭😂 They just live to torture us. WHICH IS NICE. THANKS FOR THAT.
(Aww thank you!)
The first one. My NUMBER ONE PET PEEVE OF LIKE EVER.
And movie stuff ugggggghhhhhh
I SWEAR YOU BOOK BLOGGERS ALL HAVE SUPER MEGA CREEPY ESP
I JUST KNOW ALL THE THINGS. I AM THE ALL KNOWING EYE.
Woah, woah the same book having different names? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. That’s actually ridiculous though. Ridiculous. And the movie/show adaptations are ALL LIES. It’s a conspiracy, I swear. So is the pretty cover thing, publishers make the covers pretty to disguise the lack in actual good content. Why must so many bookish things deceive us?
It’s SO frustrating. It happens a lot in US vs UK books…like I don’t know why?! Do they think we need translations or something?! WHAT ARE PUBLISHERS THINKING EXACTLY. I WISH TO KNOW.
hahaha these were all great! Particularly the one about stupid Australian stores such as Dymocks that claim good prices and then are like lOOK WE DISCOUNTED THIS $40 PAPERBACK TO $30, HOW KIND OF US? I want to go up to these people sometime and whisper: you do know that books cost maybe $15 for a paperback, right? Gah. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SHIPPING *weeps* although if I’m feeling bold, there’s an Australian bookish candle company and the shipping is affordable when I save up for it *laugh cries*
I’m beginning to really detest those books that say they’re a mash up of two others. Mostly because it’s always THE NEW HUNGER GAMES. I think I could create a solid list of books that were classified as the new Hunger Games. Tsk. I do like your idea of terminally ill wizards, please write this Cait, I need to read it.
When I finished reading Blood for Blood by Ryan Graudin last year yelling at her over twitter for the heinous crimes she committed against her characters she literally redirected me to a twitter page specifically set up to comfort readers via kind words and gifs to recover. She needs a crown for her evilness. And we shall not speak of Rowling and her annual apologies. She’s not sorry, she bathes in our tears.
Omg Australian book prices are RIDICULOUS. I look at the Americans saying “Oh yeah just picked up this hardcover for $12” and quietly want to murder them all.😂 I mean I know price conversion is a bit different, but NOT THAT MUCH. They don’t know how much we suffer over here!! *cries with you*
I’m totally going to write my terminally ill wizards now and it’ll be the first book ever that is GENUINELY Harry Potter meets TFIOS. The ultimate fanfic.😂 SLay me now.
Omg. She has a twitter for comfort for her readers.😂 That’s so brilliant.
This isn’t a lie really but I tend to see this in books less well written. How they keep hinting at something like a possible ship but then in the next book the author does a whole about face and pairs the two with other people WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION. I mean, I get that people change but when there’s no closure or showing of that change then it seems really random and a total disservice to authors.
With the front covers I’ve had boos that were gorgeous both in story and package (Leigh Bardugo has the best covers CONSISTENTLY) but that odd book you read with a terrible story disguised as a good one… it feels like I’m being cheated.
THE OVER-THE-TOP blurbs are a lie. I mean, I read alot of books and so for me to describe a book as ‘brilliant’ or the author ‘a mastermind of storytelling’… I’m going to come in with some pretty high expectations and oodles of skepticism. Especially if you’re a book reviewer who has read alot…it would take some seriously killer writing to make you lavish that sort of compliment.
Ugh I hate it when ships go in a wild direction. It annoys me so much. Or when they set up a couple really really well and then break them up like 4 PAGES FROM THE END for a stupid reason. *rolls eyes* Talk about BREAKING MY TRUST.😭
Ahhh I love Leigh Bardugo covers too!!
And I hate when a book is like setting itself up like that too.😂 Master storyteller…pfft. Let me decide that.😂
OH YES TO EVERYTHING HERE. As a bookworm, I feel so betrayed like, 90% of the time because of these things. The blurb-thing is so misleading, at times, and I know it’s just a marketing trick to get people to be interested in a book, but… it is ALL LIES because once we read it, well…it’s so different from what we expected and I feel so betrayed at times. Especially when it’s a disappointment, obviously. When it’s an amazing book, I guess I’m okay ahah.
And yes to the stunning book covers with nothing inside. It makes me SO SAD because I tend to imagine the book will be incredible, just from the cover, sometimes. I guess we can’t help but be betrayed by our own eyeballs. This is so sad.
Fantastic post, as always, Cait! <3
It is SUCH A marketing trick! And like I get it, from a marketing standview, but it just sets us all up for disappointment.😭😂 And quite frankly I don’t want to read “it’s just like The Hunger Games!” sort of books?!? I’d just read THG omg. Give me something new.😂
Oh my gosh, you have outdone yourself 😀 I was skeptical when I saw the headline, cause I was like… what?? What is she talking about xD but this post! This post is just so good xD way to start my morning.
I can soooo relate to the name changing. His Dark Materials!!! The movie was SUCH. A. DISASTER. Such a disaster that they never even followed up and made a sequel following the other books! And yet? Why do I see Northern Lights still renamed The Golden Compass on Goodreads? Horrible! Can’t they just rename it back to the way it was xD a book being renamed FOR a movie just feels like a total travesty… even if the movie was good!! And it absolutely wasn’t!!!
And I also can’t buy locally! What kind of nonsense is that, right xD
And yes! Next book preview is SUCH a lie. Just completely hate it. Plus it’s such a waste of pages – cause I’ll never be reading that!! Why would I read something I can’t finish..? 😀
I actually keep all my read books in currently-reading on Goodreads so I wouldn’t do the RTC thing xD they just sit there in a shelf of currently-reading, all 20 of them xD
Great post!!! I’d write more, but I have to stop hiding from my guests in the bedroom… must get up. Board games and D&D! And cheesecake for breakfast. #sorrynotsorry
HOW DARE YOU BE SKEPTICAL OF ME, EVELINA. MY HEART IS BETRAYED NOW.😂😂😂
I didn’t even KNOW The Golden Compass wasn’t the original title! And omg so I bought the movie covers for that series….but only on accident because they were second hand and cheap. But book 1 and 2 are the SAME MOVIE POSTER. The same. They just put a different overlay shade on them so one is blue and one is greenish. But like??????? Can cover designers not DESIGN!?? *eats a wall*
I hate previews so much.😭😂 And I also hate not being prepared for a book to finish because I thought there was more but nooooo it’s a PREVIEW. *cries in betrayal*
(Hiding from guests is so relatable.😂I have my family over but my nephew is currently sitting on my while I type this.😂)
I was actually typing out comments as I was playing D&D 😂 they were a little mad at me 😃 but but but… blog..?
I believe the movie did make the books relive their second spring, so to say… Maybe that’s why they changed the title at all. But it’s a whole ‘nother level of shitty when a book’s title is changed for a movie 😨
I suffer from ALL of these, but my worst thing is when there’s no blurb. Just praise from “The Evening Standard” saying it’s the new Harry Potter, or a two line quote that’s not even in the story. I don’t care if it’s the new Harry Potter. I just want to know what your damn book is about!
Omg the no blurb thing is entirely frustrating. Like who cares what some magazine thought about it?! WHAT IS THE ACTUAL BOOK ABOUT, DARN IT, WE WANT TO KNOW.
I CAN’T BELIEVE NUMBER FIVE IS A THING!! I mean, I knew about Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone (and it annoys me).. but your examples are like… WHAT?! Good grief.
I can’t think of any lies you haven’t covered, and I have been burned by most of those lies.
The only time I like previews at the end of a book, is if I already have the next book, and am just too lazy to get up and so get to start in on a chapter or two without getting up. Winning. BUT, if I do not have ready access to the next book then SHAG OFF WITH THE TEASING.
(also, I dislike thinking I have more book left than I do… but I usually peak to see what is happening at the end of the book. like some books have like a dozen blank pages? what is that? So as I get handy to the end I know there’s a bunch of not-story and so keep an eye to where the REAL end is…)
Look. I harp on this a lot. But I have seen a lot of beautiful editions of Anna Karenina and even the name I find quite lovely… BUT I REALLY CAN’T DEAL WITH THAT BOOK AND IT’S BORING EPIC CHAPTERS OF AGRICULTURE AND POLITICS. I actually cannot think of another example of a lovely cover for a no thank you book, because my “no thank you” part of my book memories is so overwhelmed by that torturous book.
It happens in varying between UK and US a bit, I’ve noticed?? It’s not like SUPER common but it’s annoying enough that I’m going to complain about it. (Ok shh let’s be real I just complain about everything.😂)
I literally had a book I was enjoying a LOT and then it suddenly ended and the last 20 pages were a book preview and I just????? I feel so BETRAYED. Usually I prefer myself for an ending but auguhgugugh.😭😂
This post had me laughing out loud. Especially “This book has been glanced over once by a film maker and someone has roughly summed it up in two sentences via wikipedia and now they’re making a movie using the title and 3 character names and literally nothing else at all.” You nailed it!
Actually, you had me laughing out loud until #10. Because I’m guilty of that. And I really do mean to write and/or post the review later, but I don’t always get around to it. (Though the bit about books from 2013? Sometimes I haven’t read them yet. So it’s not necessarily that long.) Anyway, I’M SORRY AND I’LL TRY NOT TO DO IT AGAIN! (Lies. I know I’ll do it again, though always with the best of intentions. But I really am sorry that it upsets people. Truly.)
Omg I’m glad you liked that accurate summary of mine.😂 I seriously have NO TRUST left in movie adaptions now…
I actually have two RTC and I have no idea when I’m going to get to them…so I am a liar too.😭😂
Omg yes, RTC, haha I don’t know how many RTC review I currently have languishing on my Goodreads account, whoops…. I’ve never run into a book changing titles before, but that’s so odd….
I totally laugh when I see the “RTC” on books people read in 2015….like, yep no, that’s not happening anymore.😂
The book preview one is super annoying! They also lie to you, by leading you to believe that they are from the beginning of the book. Then you actually read the book you read a preview of, and it was from at least halfway through the book!
Honestly ALL of these are so true… Stop lying to bookworms people!
We bookworms deserve better!! Less lies!! More cake!!
Ugh, I love bookish merch, but the SHIPPING!! And I live in the US so I shouldn’t complain, but so many of the stores I like are in the UK. :'( Waaaah. So unfair. Why is there not international media mail…oh wait, that would probably take 6 months and by the time the stuff arrived we would have forgotten the book it was inspired by. 😛
Omg wouldn’t it be nice if INT shipping was reasonable though!? There are SO many signed book deals at the moment and like…I can never afford the shipping. 😭😂
The Next ___ and Review to come are what I always rage about.
I remember a comparison on the Shadow and Bone cover “Harry Potter meets Twilight meets Hunger Games meets Game of Thrones-
May the Lord have mercy.
STOP LYING PEOPLE. And write you freaking reviews, man! Though, I don’t write my reviews on time, I do actually have all of them. I write them down before I start on my next book.
So yeah.
Omg that’s a real great comparative combination. it’s basically just like “HERE LET ME LIST EVER FAMOUS YA NOVEL IN THAT GENRE!!! IT’S SURE TO NOT BE A DISAPPOINTMENT!!”
*facepalm*
Now I really need to read an HP meets TFIOS book!
I know right?! Fantastic idea right there…I’M GONNA BE FAMOUS FOR IT.
I enjoyed read your post. Very well done. Thanks!! ^_^
Yay I’m really glad, Angela! THANKS!
I never believe comp titles anymore because I understand it’s just a hook to get readers interested but I find that they often don’t match up at all! So they have to get me through the synopsis and a pretty cover wouldn’t hurt.
Great post as always!
~Brittany @ Brittany’s Book Rambles
I’VE BEEN THROUGH ALL OF THEM!
The ones I hate the most are the “The new Harry Potter” like NO EXCUSE ME THERE IS ONLY ONE HARRY POTTER and only J.K. Rowling is allowed to write that! Also sometimes the book isn’t even similar, which is worse!
I also hate the RTC thing! Sometimes I write Review To Come, just because I don’t want to post it on my blog that day, but when I write it I already have the draft of the review on my blog!
Hilarious and SO VERY TRUE
This was a great post!
UGh, lately I’ve seen books marketed as ‘the next Gone Girl’ or ‘the next Girl on the Train’, two books I use to want to read until advertisers began using them as marketing ploys.
OMG CAIT I COME HERE AFTER A LONG LONG TIME AND IS THIS HOW YOU WELCOME ME? By making me choke on food? AGAIN???? I haven’t laughed so hard in a long long time 😛 Yes these are all epic lies aren’t they? Especially cheap books and merch? For the first time in my life I decided to buy merch from outside India…so I go on to Etsy and find this wonderful Bellatrix Lestrange candle which costs $15 (Mind you, this is expensive for me as I’m a poor book dragon) but I decide I’m so gonna get it…Then I scrolled down and saw shipping. And I died a slow painful death $23!!!! TWENTY THREE FREAKING DOLLARS FOR A FIFTEEN DOLLARS PRICED PRODUCT!! ETSY IS SO MEAN. Cries in the corner forever!!
Haha oh my gosh, the RTC is so true. I see so many times.
SO TRUE!
I’m so tired of the “next Harry Potter” one — or in my case, “next Lord of the Rings”. XD IT’S NOT, OKAY? 😛 Hee.
#2 is totally accurate… adaptions. #nope
Changing book titles is so WEIRD! O_O It seems to mostly be in different countries, but… why? o.o
Yep yep. I ran out of room on my bookshelf and now I’m stacking books on my floor and halp. XD
I TRY to always review the stuff that I said review to come, but I agree, it’s weird. o.o
Great post! XD
Book comparisons are my pet peeve. From all my publishing internships, I’ve learned that you are never supposed to compare manuscripts to “big books” in-house. But when it comes to marketing to consumers? Yep, everything is the next Harry Potter/Game of Thrones/Hunger Games/Twilight/The Fault in Our Stars. I think the publishers must believe these are the only books the average consumer has heard of, so other comparisons are pointless or something.
SO many lies. And they’re all accurate. The movie one KILLS me, because before I knew what it meant, I assumed “we’re making a movie of this book!” actually meant… you know, they were making a movie of the book? But no, that isn’t it at all. Sigh. I am so guilty of the Goodreads one that I stopped actually saying that a review would be coming because hell, it probably wouldn’t be. Unless it’s a review book, then if I say it, I really do mean it!
I do not like book previews. Because yes the reasons you said, but also because I don’t want to read ONE chapter of a book that won’t be out for who knows how long. Pass. A book who was pretty on the outside but not so much inside… hmmm. OH! So I didn’t *hate* either of these, but the covers of The Book Jumper and Uprooted were both so pretty I could cry, and the books were just… okay I guess. I ended up finding them homes who could better appreciate their loveliness.
Oh my gosh, the beautiful book covers that contain nothing but lies are the WORST! The actual worst. There should be a rule that right before publishing someone reads the book and says “uh-uh, this cover is way too good for this story.”
And your title for books being made in to a movie is 100% accurate.
I have fallen for the “It’s the next Harry Potter” line multiple times. It’s NEVER the next Harry Potter! Just stop saying it and luring us all in with your maddening deceptions! Preying on an entire fandom like that…they should be ashamed!
Also, with the whole books being made into movies thing, I would be a *LOT* less upset if filmmakers would just say that. Just tell me that outright and I’d be like, okay, fair enough. I’ll go into this with an open mind. But NO they have the audacity to say BASED on a book. If anything, maybe say *INSPIRED* by the book…but honestly, I’d prefer they go with your exact wording. You should sell them that phrasing and ease the worries of bookworms everywhere!
Another lie I’ve fallen victim to that is perhaps even worse than the book previews at the back of the books is when there’s just an unusual amount of BLANK pages at the end of the book. I expect a couple blank pages. But one book I read ended on a really tense moment, I turned the page thinking OH GOD what’s going to happen next?! And you know what happened? NOTHING. Just blank pages. Like ten blank pages. Why did they need that many?!?! I flipped through every single one of them thinking they were just messing with me. (They were not.) At least if it had been a book preview I would have had something else to read!
I absolutely HATE when a book is compared to another book as “the next _____” or “perfect for fans of _____” and then the two are NOTHING ALIKE. For a long time I was fooled by it and now I’m extremely wary. It’s really a shame, because in the case of some of those books, I might have actually liked them for their own selves if I hadn’t been set up with such high hopes by the blurb.
IKR!!! SOME OF THESE JUST RELATE TO ME SO MUCH ESPECIALLY THE BEAUTIFUL COVER/ SHIT STORY ONE. OMG I HATE THAT SO MUCH. LIKE HAVE YOU READ BEAUTIFUL DISASTER BY JAMIE MCGUIRE? BECAUSE, JUST DON’T. BUT THAT COVER WAS BLACK (LIKE MY SOUL), AND LOOKED NICE-ISH AND WELL……. TERRIBLE STORY!! CAN I DOUBLE CAPITALIZE THIS? CUZ THAT TERRIBLE NEEDS TO BE UNDERLINED, FOUR TIMES. AND WHY AM I STILL IN CAPS. sorry about that. my soul vents in caps apparently. and thanks for putting this out there. also I ADORE YOUR BLOG SO MUCH, ESPECIALLY AFTER I MADE ONE OF MY OWN AND REALIZED HOW MUCH OF EFFORT GOES INTO THIS, AND HERE I GO AGAIN WITH THE CAPS, SORRY MY SOUL CANT BE CONTROLLED WHEN EXCITED. or in general.
Why with the title changes? I’ve noticed this on some old westerns lately that are getting brand new editions – I totally might have given an elderly patron at my library THE SAME BOOK thinking one was a sequel… oopsie!
Anyone ever encounter the lie that is a back-of-book summary calling a character one name and then the story inside calling him/her/it/them by another name? Because I’ve seen that happen?? More than once???
And it’s like, okay, in trad publishing, the person who writes the book and the person who writes the synopsis aren’t necessarily the same person. BUT DO THEY NOT COMPARE NOTES? Do they not think it’s a big deal to make sure that character names are consistent and correct? Is no one getting paid to compulsively check these books for typos? ‘Cause I’m over here doing it for free once it’s too late to fix the mistakes, and it huuuuuurts myyyyyyy soooooul.
Also, yes, please stop calling books “the next [big title]” or “[this phenomenon] meets [that other phenomenon]”. It’s not accurate, it’s just trying to climb on top of other books’ success, and I Do Not Appreciate It. Unless we’re literally talking about a fairy tale mashup in which Snow White meets Cinderella at a support group for people with terrible stepmothers, describe a book based on itself, why don’t you.
I really don’t get the appeal of bookstagram?! Like, I like pretty books, sure but… there’re only so many pics of pretty books you can take. It’s a book. It looks like a book. THEY ALL LOOK LIKE BOOKS – WAKE UP PEOPLE! #ShesARebel
I get totally confused by name changes – espec. when the book has different names (in English!) in different countries. The Book of Negroes by Lawrence Hill is The Book of Negroes in the UK, but sometimes published as Someone Knows My Name in other countries. Meanwhile, the US TV adaptation is called The Book of Negroes in the US, and Someone Knows My Name in the UK. WHAT WAS THE POINT?!
(Still blaming you for the all caps.)
This post is so funny! I totally agree we are lied to all the time especially with that sneak peak at the end. It throws me off every time.
I’m so glad you’re with me on those sneak-peeks. THEY ARE SUCH LIARS TO US. *cries* 😂
“I promise I’ll bring your book back in good condition”