Did you know that books are remarkably like children?
You did know, of course, because you saw the title on this post and clicked on it. Either that or you saw “PAPER FURY HAS POSTED AGAIN!” on bloglovin’ or twitter or in your inbox and you clicked on it just out of sheer loyalty and adoration for me and the genius and wisdom and very very true facts I proclaim on this blog. In which case: I like you. *
But regardless, the fact that books are actually like human children is something I am about to wholly prove to you today. I do not, of course, have children. But I have a dog and that’s kind of the same thing. I also babysit three of my older sister’s children who are all under 6 years old respectively. And I was a child, once. Maybe???? I mean, there are rumours that (A) I’m a dragon hatchling, and (B) I don’t even exist. I confirm and deny nothing. But if you choose to believe that I was a child once then this post is UNDENIABLY TRUE ALREADY. **
* I mean, I like you all if you read my blog obviously. I wouldn’t pick favourites between my subjects.
** I’m so good at being convincing omg.
1. THEY’RE EXPENSIVE.
CHILDREN: I mean, at first you think “oh I’ll just collect a child and they can tumble up and play with sticks and stones and sleep in a drawer” and then the next thing you know you have to buy like everything, including specific furniture for them and toys and a gate so they don’t fall down the stairs and break their little necks because children are like motorised toys with no steering options.
BOOKS: At first it’s just “Oh I’ll buy this $15 paperback that’s super nice!” and next thing you know you’ve got to by NINE BOOKSHELVES and then FIVE HUNDRED BOOK FRIENDS so that paperback doesn’t get lonely. And your house is too small. You need a bigger house. A castle actually. A castle in Scotland. And — BOOM — that $15 has turned into you becoming a broke Scottish lord and how does this even happen?????
2. THEY DEMAND LOVE AND ATTENTION AND THEN HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
CHILDREN: When you acquire a child, you gotta love them. You have to take care of them and put in fresh batteries or whatever when they run low and feed them spinach or cake so they grow nice and strong. But then the heartless little monsters will see you fall over AND THEN LAUGH. Or have zero qualms about skipping hugging you to steal your iPod for games. Or take your food, literally out of your mouth. Or they smack you in the face because they have limited communication skills and Google Translate doesn’t help with this.
I feel attacked, okay?
BOOKS: It’s 100% the same. I make sure my books have a nice spot on the shelf and I hug and pet and tell them they’re God’s gift to this universe. Like any good parent. AND THEN I GO AND READ THEM AND THEY KILL ALL THE CHARACTERS I LOVE???? WHAT IS THIS???? AFTER ALL I’VE DONE?????
I feel so attacked that I am literally a corkboard being filled with thumbtacks and I didn’t ask for this life.
3. THEY CAN’T BE TRUSTED ANYWHERE BY THEMSELVES.
CHILDREN: These little hellions just wander off and could get hit by a bus or abducted or fall on their face because they’re as uncoordinated as cooked spaghetti with arms. It gets to the point that if you’re abroad with them you must hold them by 9 hands, put a tracker on them, and rope them to your hip.
BOOKS: They are even worse, especially with the abduction. I just leave my book on a table and come back to see MY SISTER FLICKING THROUGH IT??? LIKE NO???? WE WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH ON THIS??? Plus the fact that if I just take my eyes off my book for 2 SECONDS it somehow has a bent cover or a crinkled page or a tiny tear on its dust jacket. Like how. And stop.
4. THEY HAVE ANNOYING GROWTH SPURTS FOR NO GOOD REASON.
CHILDREN: You buy them clothes/shoes and — BOOM — two weeks later they will never wear them again. How’s that for being purposefully cantankerous.
BOOKS: I don’t even understand how this happens, but you think “Oh I’ll collect hardcovers because they’re all the same size and will look nice on my shelf.” But yet nooooooooooo. This one is 2cm taller. That one has shrunk. They’re impersonating a staircase and you didn’t ask for this and your soul is bleeding as you scream into the void.
5. YOU COULD BE ACCUSED OF USING THEM TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE SUFFER.
CHILDREN: You know when someone says “Aww, that’s such a cute kid you have!” but the kid has like been screaming for the last 3 hours so the parent says “DO YOU WANT THEM”??? It happens. I have also perhaps held a baby who began to smell like it’d summoned the forces horror in its pants and then quickly handed it back to the parent with nothing more than, “Nice kid you have love it so much bye!” and then left the country.
BOOKS: There is nothing more pleasurable than giving a friend a really really really really painful book. And then laughing while they read it and descending into a swirling vortex of PAIN AND SUFFERING. It’s so fun! Great way to make friends too!
6. THEY RESEMBLE THEIR BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
CHILDREN: Often times if you have children, you get a rather matching set. I mean, this didn’t actually work out so well in my family because my brother is very ugly and I’m very adorable. Obviously. But my nieces/nephews all look identical which is why I collectively call them Frank because who has time to tell kids apart. Matching sets of children are, of course, nice. If you lose them in a crowd, you can pick out yours without too much hassle.
BOOKS: It’s always very satisfying and lovely when you have a nicely coordinated book family. In fact, get a boxset! Then they match in size, shape, and hair style and it’s all very calming and pleasing. It’s like owning a set of Von Trapps. Except books.
7. YOU TAKE PHOTOS OF THEM AND THEN PROUDLY DISPLAY THEM TO THE COMMONERS.
CHILDREN: I have many sisters with many children and they all enjoy cataloguing their activities. My own parents have albums of me as heinous child with a frown that would indicate either (A) someone just insulted my love of dragons, or (B) I was born not a child but a lemon.
BOOKS: Ask to see a bookworm’s mobile device and there’s a 96.4% chance they’ll have a picture of their bookshelves on there. Or their latest purchase. OR IN MY CASE, A MASS COLLECTION OF PHOTOS FROM THEIR LATEST #BOOKSTAGRAM PHOTOSHOOT. Like look at my children! See how pretty they are! See how they match! See how they take after me! That one as my nose!
8. THEY TAKE OVER YOUR HOUSE, AND YOUR FLOOR, AND YOUR LIFE BASICALLY.
CHILDREN: I mean what furniture does a child really need?? And yet if you walk into a house that contains creatures under 3 foot in height, you will DEFINITELY end up tripping over a toy that lights up and signs nursery rhymes of evil or you’ll tread on legos and die.
BOOKS: BOOKS ARE EVEN WORSE THOUGH. I constantly need more shelves. My entire life’s mantra is “more shelves”. You end up having piles of books on the floor. My bed is more book than blanket. I mean, at least they stack neatly???? But by this point I wouldn’t be surprised to find books peering out of my closet.
9. THEY DON’T EAT THEIR VEGETABLES.
CHILDREN: I was going to say something pithy about rude children avoiding vegetables but…Vegetables are a conspiracy theory. LETTUCE DOESN’T TRULY EXIST. IT’S JUST A MYTH TO SCARE CHILDREN. I don’t eat my vegetables and I’m also quite small, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
BOOKS: Books are impolite about eating just about anything. I mean, hey, I just want to eat lasagna and not have it look like a MURDER SCENE OF BLOOD AND TOMATOES AFTERWARDS.
10. THEY INVITE FRIENDS OVER WITHOUT CHECKING WITH YOU FIRST.
CHILDREN: This happens when children get a bit older and start to think it’s okay to socialise. (You should probably glare at them until they get over that stage.) And sometimes they bring stray dogs or horses home, or pet rocks with bad attitudes, or wandering spirits which then turn your nice life into the next instalment of a Supernatural episode.
BOOKS: Because obviously I am not the problem here. I just take a day or two off reading and then — WELL HELLO THERE 32 NEW BOOKS PLEASE LET ME LEAVE WITH MY LIFE. I don’t even know! They are seriously multiplying behind my back! TBRs grow without permission and invite their friends over and attract other homeless books and pretty soon it’s books inside = me outside. #NotMyFault
LOOK A NEPHEW THAT IS RELATED TO ME PERHAPS AND HE’S POSING BEFORE MY OWN CHILD WHICH IS A BOOKSHELF.
I get you! And, btw, love your bookshelves…#aestheticrainbowsarethebest Have you counted how many children-sorry, books, I meant, what’s wrong with me, the hinkypunks must have gotten to my head…anyway, have you counted how many books you have? I’ve always wanted that many books… 🙂
OH THANK YOU.😂 I do so love my bookshelves too. Rainbows FTW!! I haven’t actually counted my own children, but I should probably do that sometime. It’d be very interesting to see how many I have.😂
I’d love to see (you’ve probably got over 1000 or maybe I’ve just got bad estimating skills)!! 😀
I am DEATHLY SCARED OF LITTLE CHILDREN. THEY ARE SO SMALL. WAY TOO SMALL.
I’m always terrified when one of my aunts is like, “Here, child, take this little thing that just happens to be a bundle of flesh and skin and blood and a lot of stuff’, and yes, that’s meant to sound creepy. But I MIGHT DROP THEM. AAAAND THEY MIGHT DIE. AND THEN MY MOM WILL KILL ME.
THE FEAR CAN BE REAL. But luckily children bounce. I have dropped a few in my time and they have such small memories they don’t even remember! It’s great! They love me as a good aunt and don’t even realise all the times I misplaced them or tried to sit on them or whatnot. :’)
You had several very good points! I have one such small minion (although he doesn’t listen particularly well, so maybe not such a good minion?) so I had something to compare your points to. Another point: books have sharp corners, right? Well guess what, so do children! When my son was a bit younger, he accidentally nearly blinded his papa twice by scratching his cornea (wildly thrashing about will do that). Can’t you just see a book doing the same thing?
The size differences between books didn’t use to bother me, but ever since I started watching BookTube videos and reading blogs and seeing #bookstagram shots, the whole matching editions/formats problem has become a real presence in my life. It bothers me a lot now and I will wait to get the right edition. Then again, I might also buy multiple sets of a series if the editions are pretty enough (Harry Potter, anyone?).
The first book that I can ever remember keeping me up all night was The Five People You Meet In Heaven, but I don’t remember too much about it these days. Somewhat more recently I stayed up two nights in a row to finish New Moon and Eclipse because my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I went to the midnight release of Breaking Dawn and he hid it from me until I finished the previous two books. I’m something of a Spoiler Queen, so that was probably a good idea.
I eat most of my vegetables and so does my minion/son! We actually joked about this because when I was pregnant, instead of craving something crazy like pickles and ice cream or super spicy food, I craved Jell-O and lettuce. My son ended up being born in the Year of the Rabbit, so the lettuce craving was especially hilarious. He eats a lot of veggies and seems to like broccoli the most.
Oh definitely agreed with the sharp corners. The amount of times I’ve been elbowed by my sharp-boned-elbowed-niece is ridiculous and I nearly died dropping a pointy book on my foot once. SO DEFINITELY AGREE TO THAT POINT TOO.
Matching things has always been my favourite, but I do agree that bookstagram/book blogging has made me REALLY keen on it.😂 It’s just so aesthetically pleasing to have a series all wearing their nice matching clothes??? :’)
Oh that’s hilarious about the lettuce! Basically you can have ALL THE LETTUCE OF EVER. I’ll sacrifice my portion to you. I’m such a martyr.
Tristan thanks you for your sacrifice. *lol*
Wow I had never noticed how similar kids and books were 😲😂
And yeah, there’s nothing worse than books from different sizes. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ARRANGE THEM???
And I personally like vegetables. Not all though.
Isn’t it such a glorious truth? :’) We bookworms are like technically parents now.
And the size thing is just AN OUTRAGEOUS INJUSTICE. *breaks a plate* Whatever did we do to deserve this.
I know right? I never thought about them this way and now I can’t unsee the similarities!
“Actually this didn’t really work out in my family since my brother is ugly and I am adorable.” Let’s hope your brother doesn’t read your blog😂😂😂
This is so accurate! And parents aren’t the only ones who suffer from this?? My younger brother is sooo annoying. He like regularly hits me and then steals my chocolate and TOUCHES MY BOOKS AND THREATENS TO THROW THEM OUT OF THE WINDOW IF I DONT GIVE HIM SAID CHOCOLATE.
😪😪😓😔
But I can never tolerate if anyone touches my books. THEY ARE MY KIDS OKAY WHAT ARE YOU DOING????
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I wouldn’t even mind if he did BECAUSE I ONLY SPEAK TRUTH HERE. 😇😈 (But if it makes you feel better, haha, nope, he never has read it.)
And yes, dude YES, younger siblings can be heinous too. I only have one but the amount of times she asks to borrow my books is enough to make my hair go grey.
Omg, I laughed so hard at this post!! And I totally did click on the link in my email before processing the title because PAPER FURY HAD POSTED OHMIGOSH AND I MUST READ IT RIGHT NOW!!! And then chuckled sheepishly when you caught me out. *checks over shoulder* And some people doubt your dragon queen powers…
Also, 11: They suck out your soul with extended contact and leave you in a #ExistentialCrisis for days. Children: They are very nice on the outside, you probably like them a lot, and missed them when they were gone (I do). But I babysat a lot and one thing was indisputable – if I was in the presence of more than 4 children for more than 4 hours, I would be a useless grumpy puddle for a good long time afterward (probably 4 days, if the rest of the math is any clue). Books: Sure, you love them, you love them to death. You can’t wait to read this book. But by the end, you’re such a destroyed hopeless mess that you will be good for nothing except laying on the floor of your room until the next blood moon.
SEE YOU’RE ONE OF THE BEST ONES, MY LOYAL LITTLE PINEAPPLE BEAN. *gives you two crumbs of cake instead of the normal one because is also generous* I have great mind reading powers tho. Never doubt.
DUDE YES FOR #11. And I also forgot they deprive you of sleep.😂 (And I’m actually the same when I babysit. I basically go hibernate for 24 hours and have a very long nap afterwards.😂)
Interesting article Cait 😀 I never think that way 😀 You are so creative 😀 Btw, your nephew is so cute :3
Aww, thanks, Hana!! And yes he’s so cute what even can I do with that little adorable face.💕😂
I never thought about books and children being the same before but OMG CAIT YOU ARE SO RIGHT! I actually have no idea how i hadn’t thought of this before. It just means that when I get older and my parents start demanding they want to become grandparents I can direct them to my bookshelves. 🙂
SO TRUE RIGHT?!? We already have children. Hundreds of the demanding little beast who we nurture and care for and make them eat their vegetables. :’)
Expensive… check. Grow out of clothes, I mean bookshelves… check. Take up floor space… check. Wonderful photo subjects… check. Ha ha I love this post. 😀
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THERE’S JUST NO DENYING THE REALITY OF THIS, IS THERE!??😂
I never thought about this before. Lol. 🙂 This post is hilarious, as always, Cait.
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I’m so glad you liked it.😂
These are hilarious and most are true, well of children. I mean I have a 7 month old,so I get to experience this whole topic now. 😉
Oh good! Now that I’ve made the case for all the similarities you can use your child as an experiment to see if it’s true. #CaitLogic 😂😉
LOL!
I never would’ve thought of this but it’s awesome. xD Also, very true about the expensive bit. And the taking-over-your-life bit.
It’s basically a solid fact now and I’ll probably be very very famous for making this discover/comparison. *nods sagely*
LOL! I’m showing this to my mom. XD
Most crazily, ~Olive
Olive recently posted…Mini shoots 1
ok, I just did. my mom has seven children and 1000+ books and she approves of this post. XD
Most crazily, ~Olive
Olive recently posted…Mini shoots 1
AHH I’m laughing now!😂 I’m so glad you and your mum loved it! I had such a good time writing this post.😂
Hi, Cait!
Oh, what a sweet angel of a bookshelf you have! Aawwww. 😍 (Your nephew looks also very sweet. 😉 )
Also, we once lost my youngest sister while taking a stroll around a lake. Worst 10 minutes of my life. The same amount of panic goes for losing a book like “Hey, where is my book? It was in my bag an hour ago. No really, where is it? It was right between my notebook and my lunch. I’m sure of it. WHERE IS MY BOOK!? Okay, breathe. It can’t be gone. Look again. Think! Where have you last seen it? You were reading it this morning on your way to work. Good! Then what? Oh, of course you read it on the train! Wait…no, nonononononooo. Please don’t tell me, that’s not an option! You did NOT FORGET YOUR BOOK ON THE TRAIN! NO! That’s NOT POSSIBLE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!😭😭😭”
Or something like that. 😀
Also, I love all my books – they’re my precioussssss – and I eat all the food. Vegetables, soup, meat, everything. Cake too. Like the Lemon-cheesecake I made on Sunday. Oh, glorious food. 🤤 Great, now I’m hungry.
LG, m
Sweet but devious.😂 Very devious. (But he’s a huge book lover so I think I’m raising him right. Well, I mean, I’m raising him right on the 2 days a week I babysit. #CaitLogic)
And yES the panic of losing books and/or children is terrifying. I’ve done the same thing. I lost my nephew for like 5 minutes in a library and I think I aged 50 years. And I’ve lost books before BUT ALWAYS FOUND THEM SO THAT’S A RELIEF. Honestly books / children would be much better if they learned from homing pigeons.
CHEESECAKE IS LIFE.
This is like 10 reasons why bookworms are excellent parents. I 100% with reason #4. Growth spurts are soooo annoying with books. The suffering is too real. All the truth. Another entertaining post Cait!!
Emily @ theBookishLounge recently posted…Blood Promise by Richelle Mead // Book Reviews
We can ALL just agree that books should be banned from growth spurts.😂
It’s funny how books and children just seem to appear, isn’t it? I walked out of my room this morning and was greeted by my three year-old cousin, who lives forty five minutes away. Turns out he and his parents got to our house late last night after getting home from a trip and spent the night, but still. That was odd. Kind of like how you can be looking for something and find ten million books you don’t even remember buying in the process.
They DO just appear. And like sometimes you can’t get rid of them either. Like that book you really don’t want and can’t give it away, or that nephew that is suddenly lurking in your house all the time. The similarities just keep growing tbh.
“It’s like owning a set of Von Trapps. Except books.” Wait, Cait, but don’t Von Trapps incidentally happen to be human children?
Hey, look, a picture of an adorable small creature!
But yes, this is so cute. I don’t own minions, but I have younger siblings, so….same difference
Haha, that’s what I said! I was comparing matching books to matching Von Traps? 😂
Younger siblings and human children are basically the same thing. All demanding and squishy and not agreeable to being put in drawers. *nods*
I find books in general are much easier to keep clean and smell a lot nicer than mini people. But books don’t look up to you like your mini people smushy, or hug you back when you hug them, or violently burp and vomit down your back. Actually, scrap that last one.
I can’t wait for my own mini person to stick on my shelves 😀
There are definitely bonuses for both kinds *nods* Because as much as I love books, they don’t follow me around the house saying how wonderful I am (I mean, not that my nieces and nephews do either, but I’m training them) SO. There are bonuses for children. I think it’d be handy of children were more stackable for the shelves however.
Awww your nephew is too cute! What do you call those books that change covers mid-series and ruin everything?! XD
Books are definitely expensive, and worst of all, no matter how well you raise them, they’ll never grow up and then help pay for anything… the nerve. No appreciation.. .
Amazing post!
Brittany @ Brittany’s Book Rambles
Omg I hear you. Total ungratefulness. And like you spend so much money to make sure they match and look nice on the shelf, and then the finale goes AND DISAPPOINTS YOU HORRIBLY. What is this life.
I don’t have children because the books take up all the space and money. There’s no room in here for children. Also, I’m a bit scared of children. I shouldn’t be trusted with anything valuable.
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Children also bite which is terrifying. But when you drop them they bounce, but when you drop books, they sometimes get their covers ripped. SO. In some ways I suppose children have their uses.
I adore this list so much! I want to add that sometimes they don’t live up to the expectations that we’ve come to expect with their older siblings.
OMG YES ABSOLUTELY THAT TOO. So accurate it hurts. 😂
Books should basically replace all non-book loving humans tbh..and yes they are most certainly my children! Like when you have a new born baby and wouldn’t let ANYONE touch it. That’s me all the time with all my books!!
Though wouldn’t it just be great if they just ate all the food we gave them instead of looking like a freaking murder scene??!!
I’d say books should just replace all humans because: books > humans. But I SUPPOOOOOOSE we need humans to write/publish the books so I should be understanding. (Non-book-loving-humans tho. Why do they exist.)
This is why I tell my mother that I have more than enough children already and I don’t need to “settle down”. All of my books demand my attention and I’m pretty sure it would be abandonment if I didn’t give it to them.
Yes we can’t let our book-children have abandonment issues, right??? We have to give them full attention and take care of them and put money aside for their future (AKA getting them future friends for the shelves). The bookworm parenting life is a tough job.
This was so hilarious and so true! PS your nephew is adorable!
Aww, thanks, Becca! AND ISN’T HE JUST.💕
OK I absolutely adore this post and may legit use in whenever someone annoying asks me the dreaded “So when will you have children?” question: I HAVE CHILDREN OK! THEY ARE PRECIOUS AND IMPORTANT TO ME AND WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN AS TO IGNORE THEM? IT’S OK, YOU CAN MAKE IT UP TO ME BY LISTENING TO ME TALK ABOUT THEM NON-STOP. Because why can annoying people talk about their children all the time and I can’t talk about mine?
But seriously, yes I love your post. And argh, I hate it when books are all different sizes. But mine are also a mix of Dutch and English and different editions so it’s a chaos I’ll just have to learn to live with 🙂
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BOOKS ARE OUR CHILDREN AND THIS IS A FACT. Plus they’re less messy because they don’t throw food. So I only see bonuses already.
I guess we can’t judge our dysfunctional children too much, can we? :’)
I love how you had to clearly state that it was human children that you were comparing books to! XD
for your lovely questions:
– your theory is sound and should be published in an academic journal
– books and human children are one and the same, I can’t tell them apart now that I’ve read your article
– different book sizes are the worst. When books are the same it’s much easier to fit as many as possible into the bookshelf before having to buy another one!
– eclectic books are a no-no
– books always keep me up at night, really Cait I should just wear sunglasses all the time to hide my atrocious bookish eyebags
– err, does pizza count?
Well I needed to be specific, although I do feel bad about not including, like, alien children or wizard children or like that boy that’s rumoured to live in the moon according to Dreamworks. My blog can be HORRIBLY snobby I admit. ahem. ANYWAY! I shall attempt to get this published in an academic journal and I’m going to be famous, tbh.
Don’t bother about sunglasses: Just keep wearing a book! Keep it in front of your face at all times! No one will ever see our tired tired eyes!! #winning
Books and children share similar characteristics. But overall, books are way better. You can set them down when you don’t want to deal with them. You can leave them unattended without finding a babysitter (beware who you leave your books around). I will never have children. My mom used to have a daycare, I’ve had enough children to last me three lifetimes. Book sizes do bother me! Especially when they change the sizes. Or you want to have all of an authors books together on your shelf, but one series is bigger than the other. Books have kept me up at night. I never put it down. I think the latest I’ve stayed up for a book was 6 in the morning. We picked up my sister from the airport at midnight, and then we came home. I tell myself I can finish this book tonight just a couple more chapter. Then four hours later, I’m staring off into the distance because that book broke me!
It is true. If we have to pick between the two it’s: books > children. Every time. Plus books are easily packable if you want to leave the house. You have to like put children in proper seats because you can’t stack them on top of each other, so. Books win.
Staying up all night to finish a book IS TRUE DEDICATION.
This is the greatest thing you have ever posted! XD :’)
Points 2, 5, and 8 are my favourites. 🙂 And, yeah, I definitely feel like a commoner when I see other bloggers’ book pics. 😉
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I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT.😂 I had such ridiculous fun writing this one.😂
I hate when books are published in different sizes and my series don’t match (I’m lookin’ at you, Immortal Instruments).
Does anyone else take book jackets off before loaning books to friends? Is it just me? I get teased about it a lot.
You forgot to mention biting and general destruction of books. I keep books the kids can accidentally destroy on the bottom shelf, everything else is slowly migrating higher and higher as the kids get taller. Princess Godzilla (4 yo) is quite hard on books (well, hard on everything, it’s how she got her name) and she’s been getting in trouble for it. We were helping her pick up her room when my husband pulled out a picture book that had been chewed on and he looked at me with this oh-no-the-wife-is-gonna-lose-it face. I quickly assured him that it was nephew’s book that he had chewed on as a child and it had just wandered over to our house. He was visibly relieved.
I am forever crying over The Mortal Instruments too. *weeps* And I don’t loan books so I can’t relate hah, but I DO personally take the dust jackets off before reading them myself! Just to keep the preciouses safe. <3
Oh children who eat books, tut tut. But I mean, they love them so much they eat them? It's nearly relatable. 😂
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I’ve noticed that children can fall and get all bruised up and banged up and in the end they kind of look like squashed bananas. Same goes for books. They can fall, and get all bruised, but it’s way worse. Because you’re like “OH MY GOSH, MY BABY!!!!! NOOOOO!!!! I WILL SAVE YOU, JUST HANG ON A SEC!!!” And, yes, your bookshelves are amazing. I have like five Billy Bookcases from IKEA, and i adore them.
So honestly, children and books are actually BANANAS. And we’ve been lied to all along about everything else. #logical
I have two daughters and I can totally say yes to all ten!!
Oh GOOD. My theories are proven and unstoppable. :’)
Your theory is so true. Couldn’t be truer!
I’M GLAD WE’RE IN AGREEMENT. *hi fives*
I AGREE WITH YOU. Books that are different sizes can be SO INFURIATING. Like when you’re trying to stack them up and all of them are the same size but the Cursed Child is POKING OUT.
And it’s just so rude of these books, right?!? Like we’re trying to raise them as best we can AND THEY WON’T EVEN SIT NICELY ON THE SHELVES.
“Oh, you have 3 kids? That’s cute. I have 200.”
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Well isn’t that entirely accurate.😂
OMG THIS IS A HILARIOUS POST. SO TRUE THOUGH. And the last one is especially me though??? Like I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH BOOKS. DON’T GIVE ME MORE.
(I mean, OF COURSE I want more books, but LOOK AT THIS STACK OF FIFTY MILLION BOOKS THAT I STILL HAVE TO READ. LET ME FINISH AT LEAST ONE. OR TWO. OR ALL.)
It doesn’t really bother me if they’re a different size, unless they’re in the same series and then it goes from teensy to HUGE. Like why. You make my life so much harder. Not that I’ve had it happen before… OR WHEN YOU GET THE PAPERBACK VERSION OF THE FIRST BOOK AND THEN THE HARDCOVER VERSION OF THE SECOND BOOK AND THEN IT’S JUST ALL TILTED AND AGH.
Once, when I was a very small child, around the age of 8, I stayed up finishing a book, then when I’d finished, I read it all over again. I went to bed at 1 AM, and (though it’s still bad today) this was a time when I was very young and OMG I STAYED UP PAST SEVEN O’CLOCK AAGGGHHH. So yeah. I was a very responsible child.
I DO EAT VEGETABLES BUT I HATE THEM. #FRUITFORLIFE
I KNOW THE FEEL. Like please books, I can’t handle any more and my shelves are dying but also I cannot help but collect more and DARN MY SHELVES I’ll just layer books all over my bed and ceiling and sleep outside. #priorities
The series that change sizes are killing me. Especially if you’ve bought the first book and then they start printing the second book onwards in a different size. Like why. WHY. What did I ever do to deserve this.
OMG STAYING UP PAST 7 THOUGH. YOU DEVIOUS CHILD.
I got an email reply notification thingy! 😀
Obviously. Books first, life later.
I KNOW RIGHT? Can’t they just take pity on us? Please?
AGH MY INNER CHILD SAYS SORRY.
Okay, honesty time: the first few times I read the title, I thought it said “10 Reasons Books Are Like Human Chicken.” And I couldn’t figure it out but I just nodded and went along with it. I think I need more sleep. ANYWAY, this post is hilarious! And your last point would definitely explain my constantly exploding TBR. Of course it’s not my fault because of my lack of bookish self-control!
Clara @ Lost in My Library recently posted…Ten Books I Wish Made More Sense
Human chicken.😂😂 But I mean, knowing ME that could totally have been the post, right?😂 Omg that made my day. I’ll do that for part 2.😂
YES. THIS IS SO TRUE, IT HURTS MY EYES. (or maybe it’s my screen being too bright…the twit)
Children and books are so very similar!! I cannot believe i didn’t notice before!!! Good grief. What a RELIEF you were here to tell me!!!! I don’t know what I would do without your brilliantness, Majesty!
Another thing I would add to your already fabulous list is you can never trust them- never judge a book by it’s cover (which everyone does anyway) and never judge a child by their face (which I do anyway)!
Just like books they can look horrendous and be fabulous, or look gorgeous and be evilly lame. IT’S REALLY MEAN OF THEM TO TRICK US SO. STOP IT. STAHP.
And then sometimes they end up just what they look like and you get to go around feeling very proud of your astute Holmesian deductions. (which are usually pretty lame.)
Oh! And another is that you can never be sure how they will end! Children and books are FULL of surprising and not-so-surprising twists and turns and more often than not leave you in tears. Yikes, they are really very similar.
YES. YES YES YES YES YEEESSSS. DUMB BOOKS AREN’T ALL THE SAME SIZE AND IT KILLS ME!!!!!! Well, actually let me backtrack. I like SOME books slightly different- it makes a very nice biggest to smallest stack- AS LONG AS THEY ALL FIT ON MY SHELF. THOSE DUMB BOOKS THAT ARE ONLY THE TINIEST BIT TO BIG FOR THE BOOKSHELF AND AHDGJKASLDJGLKAJK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM AND STOMP MY FEET LIKE A TRUE PRINCESS. I’M LOOKING AT YOU, MY DARLING TBR… *FROWNS*
ugh! I have been going to bed at like 11 every night now because of these books!! AND THAT’S NOT FUN BECAUASE I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT 5:40. I am used to going to bed at 9 or 9:30 but NOOO, I just HAVE to finish the chapter- and the next- and the next- and the next- and OH HELP ME WHERE IS THE NEXT BOOK!?!?!?!?!?
“This is SO unfair!” (Edmund Sparkler, from Bleak House)
hmm… lets just say I eat MOST of my vegetables, but when it comes to certain ones that shall not be named, I try to swallow them whole. It mostly works…
“The world would be a better place if the parents had to eat the spinach.” Says Groucho Marx. IT IS SO TRUE.
Remind me never to be a parent. 😀
Kidding, I’m kidding. I want LOTS of kids!! As well as books… I’ve always thought that I would collect books and keep them all over my house- when I’m old and need an income, I’ll start a little book shop and perhaps make it into a cafe as well.
Well this was a fantabulous post!!! Not that that is any surprise!! THEY ALWAYS ARE.
-E
I AM A GIFT TO THIS WORLD, BASICALLY, WITH MY KNOWLEDGE OF ALL THESE THINGS. :’)
And of course, the judging is always the downfall. I mean, look at that cute face of my nephew and yet he is a devious munchkin who does not even share his cake with me when I have to share my cake with him?? Like what is this???? Who raised him???
Books need to be the same sizes though. MY SHELF CAN’T HANDLE IT OTHERWISE. 😭 I NEED TO THINK ABOUT MY SHELF’S FEELINGS.
Aww, you smol precious soul who sleeps that much.😂 I always go to bed past 11 and get up around 5.😂 I DON’T SLEEP THO SO THERE’S THAT. Ahem. But books that keep us up are both precious and evil things.
Did you say bookshop and cafe? because yes.
INDEED.
WHAT???? You poor dear!! I completely understand, though, my baby sister NEVER shares her dessert with me!!!! What DO they teach in schools these days?
Ah yes, I am so sorry…. *quietly sobbing for you* WHY CRUEL WORLD?!?!
Hahahaha yes indeed, I am such a little child. I can’t function without my sleeep! *Sigh* I’m working on it.
Um yes? And YES. I’ll let you know when I open. 😉
Agh. Oh. My. Gods. YOU’RE RIGHT! Books are practically children! I would’ve never thought.
While that sounds vaguely sarcastic, I swear it’s not. I just have a bit of a problem… Whenever I say something meant to be encouraging and motivating and upbeat and positive and just happy, I’m always stared at oddly and the accused of being sarcastic? What? And then whenever I’m talking to someone I… don’t particularly like, I act (quite obviously) so proud of them, though most can tell I’m not, and they think I’m being nice. Looking into their naive eyes, I wonder what this world has come to. Now, I will end my rant that I’m not quite sure how I started. Oh wait, I was complimenting you. YOu know what, feel free to ignore everything. I’ll make it easier. See, two paragraphs. You’re welcome.
Poison Ivy recently posted…I must explain… AND HAPPY FEBRUARY!!
I’M SO GLAD I HAVE SHOWN YOU THE LIGHT AND YOU’RE WELCOME. 😂
You are very right, here! 😀
Your nephew is sooooo cute!
Lauren @ Always Me
I’m glad you liked it!😂 AND YES HE’S ADORABLE.
Lol – I will quite happily become a broke Scottish lord since a Castle of books sounds epic… as long as they don’t fall on me lol. But at least there will be room for dragons is the backyard. I’m also a sucker for matching sets of books – I hate when you get that one release that is the ugly duckling of the family though. Thankfully books occasionally undergo a cover change though 🙂 Darn if buying new clothes (or new editions) isn’t expensive though!
Great post as always Cait!
OH YES! So much room for dragons in the backyard! And like they can come inside and light all the fires to keep the damp chill away. Honestly there’s no point having a castle unless you have a few dragons to go with it. #sensible
I’m so glad you liked the post!!😂
Oh I totally agree. I don’t have children of my own yet, either, but I have two much younger siblings, and I tell you, sometimes I can’t tell them apart from my books. And neither do what I tell them to. Characters die and the dishes don’t get washed. Terribly frustrating
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THE STRUGGLE IS SO REAL. Children and books are entirely useless when it comes to housecleaning, that’s for sure, and a definite important addition to this list. *nods*
Yes! It’s all true! All of it. I just wish I could shove my minions on a shelf when I’m done with them. Sadly. That never happens. There’s ALWAYS something else they need/want/shout for.
And they’ve now taken to grabbing at my books like those shelves are there for them!?? Ummm. No. You have your books. Strategically placed so as to not overrun my carefully arranged artwork of literature. Keep it away!!
Agh, yes, small human children are not easily foldable and stackable and that honestly is one of their biggest downsides. Also how noisy they are. Books are so much quieter.
Books are the most powerful weapon of all. I mean, why else would I make my friends read ACOMAF?? To hear their cries of pain and agony. DUH.
Also there’s this painful thing about paperbacks that their heights/dimensions don’t fit. Like why? They’re from the same series. The same edition. WHY IS THIS 5 MM TALLER.
Hearing friends’ cry with agony and pain over books is OBVIOUSLY a kindness from us and we should be commended. :’)
Whoops I am very late to this post because my home internet isn’t working. Anyway, I agree! Books need a lot of care. And seriously, what is it with younguns and social lives. My social life is watching movies at my friends house or else doing our writing club while my 8 yo sister has 3 as sleepovers a week, and my brother goes to the shop s for ‘school supplies’. But I’m very proud of my books and their prices, though the shelf is sagging…
Cait I think you have discovered one of the secrets of the universe. Books and children are sooo alike, it’s kinda scary! 0_o
okAY BUT DIFFERENT SIZED BOOKS ARE NOT OKAY. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S A SERIES. LIKE THE RED QUEEN SERIES. THE FIRST BOOK HAD A SQUARE, FLAT SPIN. THE SECOND BOOK HAD A ROUND SPIN. THEY DON’T LOOK QUITE RIGHT SIDE BY SIDE AND IT’S INFURIATING.
Books keep me up at night all the time, as that’s when I do most of my reading. And yes, I avoid vegetables at all costs. I will swan dive out of a window if it means avoiding some terrible vegetable.
Mironiel Blokzyl @The Life of a Mirkwood Elf recently posted…Tales of the Peculiar by Ransom Riggs || GAH IT’S BEAUTIFUL
I TOTALLY HAVE. I obviously will be globally recognised for this discovery and probably award millions of dollars (which I’ll spend on books, not children). And I agree: let’s outlaw books that don’t match, especially when they’re a series. I mean what are the publishers thinking?? They make me not want to buy books when they first come out because undoubtedly they’ll change everything later. 😭
Swan dives out windows > vegetables (YOU HAVE IT RIGHT)
*wipes tears of laughter* I would never EVER have thought of books like this, but yes, this is so true. SO TRUE.
I’m glad you liked it!! My logic is just undeniable, right?!😂
First off: I AM MUCHLY OFFENDED. I thought I was your favoritest of all Queen-subjects this whole time!!! YOU’VE BEEN TELLING EVERYONE THAT???
BEING A BROKE SCOTTISH LORD IS HARD. I would know, so you definitely got that part right.
I largely agree with the majority of this list BUT I JUST HAVE TO SAY: AT LEAST BOOKS COME WITH CLOTHES??? I mean, you have to buy children clothes ON TOP of all of that, you know??? Small victories.
Also please excuse me being LARGELY ABSENT FROM THE COMMENT SECTION which I know you have lamented GREATLY but my Qeenly Duties somehow got in the way of me being a blogging beast/bookworm. RUDE.
Esther @ Queen of Fantasy recently posted…Sunshine Blogger Award (BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW I’M NOTHING BUT SUNSHINE)
YOUR MY FAVOURITE NEARLY-TWIN SUBJECT OF ALL TIME, C’MON NOW I HAVE TO HAVE FAVOURITE CATEGORIES FOR ALL MY MINIONS. HERE’S SOME CAKE THO. THAT’LL MAKE IT BETTER.
I’m really glad I made the correct assumption about broke Scottish Lords. It’s a hard life but one I’m willing to lead. #Martyr
But dude, so true about the clothes. That’s just yet another thing children demand, and then like ruin so you have to buy them more clothes.
(I hath missed you by the way! But I stalk all your beautiful photos on instagram so that at least hELPS ME WITH YOUR ABSENCE.)
Categories make sense!! I am unoffended! (I won’t point out that it was probably the cake that got me to calm down in the end)!
And yes! Books only need one set of clothes so that’s a point for them? This is a competition, RIGHT?? EVERYTHING IS A COMPETITION OKAY.
In any case I AM BACK and I will be stalking you regularly. Of course I never STOPPED but now you’ll know I’m there again 😄 PUH-RAISE.
Esther @ Queen of Fantasy recently posted…Sunshine Blogger Award (BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW I’M NOTHING BUT SUNSHINE)
another way children and books are alike…. they love me! like seriously, sometimes when i turn around there are children crawling up my legs. Same thing at the library/bookstore, i turn around and the books just appear waiting for me to take them home…. and to spend all my money on them.
Aww, that’s so nice you have children and books crawling up your legs and arms! SO SWEET OF THEM. I do think books crawling up one is a little nicer though because children are so recreationally sticky. :’)
i would have to agree with you
“my brother is ugly and I’m adorable” WELL THEN CAIT XD
“a set of Von Trapps” XDDD
okay so how ashamed of me would you be if I told you I ate a salad while reading this post >.>
Well I’m just sayin’ it as it is. 😇😇
But dude. DUDE. Obviously you weren’t eating ANYTHING because salad doesn’t exist.
Well for being nonexistent it was a pretty yummy salad XDDD
also btw I’m getting email notifs of your replies again. I wasn’t before, but I also hadn’t commented lately? But you mentioned a couple posts ago that you were having issues with it, so I wanted to let you know that the email notifs are working again.
Nope. Didn’t exist. *shakes head fiercely*
OH THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW!! I had to instal a new widget and it’s like not an ideal replacement, but gah, I got nothing else. So I’m glad it’s at least working now!!
Next time my mum tries to start the “I really would like grandchildren” talk, I’m sending her this post. I ALREADY HAVE HUNDRED OF BABIES EMBRACE THEM
DUDE, PERFECT IDEA. I also try to tell my parents this and invite them to gift their “grandchildren” more bookshelves, but they’re not buying it yet. I shall persist though.
I think I literally died at number five!!! That has to be the FUNNIEST thing I have read all week.
Oh my word, this entire post is just so great. I don’t even know where to begin. My expertise on children is very limited, as I’m never really around little people (they scare me…), but I have to agree with you whole-heartedly based upon this collage of sound evidence. Books are definitely just like children. Definitely.
And vegetables? Even though I do eat my vegetables, I must admit that YES THEY ARE A CONSPIRACY THEORY BY THE GOVERNMENT YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT. They don’t exist. I’ve been eating thin air for the past millennia. Air is delicious. Unless my hallucination looks like asparagus. Then it is disgusting.
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I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT. *gives you all the cake* 😂 I had such random fun with this one omg. Aw, but small children are GREAT. Especially when they adore you and follow you about.😍
There is like nothing good about vegetables generally (I mean, okay fine SOMETIMES they can be done in nice sauces) but they’re still 100% a conspiracy theory and we can exist on air to balance our minerals and nutrients. #sensible
“THEY HAVE ANNOYING GROWTH SPURTS FOR NO GOOD REASON”
Yupp!
Went to this used book store feeling all gleeful because I get to buy 2 dollar books… I have, you know… 4- 1 dollar bills in my wallet and what not…
*WALKS OUT WITH 12 BOOKS BARELY ABLE TO HOLD 4 DOLLARS STILL IN WALLET BECAUSE… HAD TO USE CARD…*
(and they do not carry bags..?!.. I mean…)
Pff
Maliha recently posted…Book Review: The Curfew by Jesse Ball
If people are going to have cheap books THEY SHOULD HAVE BAGS BECAUSE LIKE OBVIOUSLY WE HAVE TO ADOPT TONS OF THEM, RIGHT?!?😂
i once recommended A. N. Roquelaure’s Sleeping Beauty series to a friend. I should have checked her reading preference first
Awww that Frank at the end is extra cute! So okay, I admit, I came into this a teeeeny bit leery. Like okay Cait, come on, books are NOT like kids at all. Except… you have convinced me that no, actually, they are. And I would know, as I have both kids AND books. Now, my particular offspring don’t resemble each other, but also, one of them came umm… dented, from the publisher (it’s okay to say if it is my own kid, right? He is also a genius, so whatever. He wouldn’t mind. He is awesome and adorable.) But they are all expensive, and frankly, I don’t know who would win in a battle of Phone Picture Space, kids or books. And nope, no veggies, I have thrown broccoli at both children AND books, and alas, no takers.
Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight recently posted…The 100 Episode 4×01: Echoes
YAS HE IS CUTE. Although this photo is like a year old but shhh, let’s pretend I am more organised than this.😂
I’m glad that I actually convinced you, because well I DON’T HAVE KIDS so I was cautious of, ya know, talking about what I don’t know here. *nods sagely* I’m glad I hit home for some of these though. (Also YAS to genius children! This evil nephew of mine was reading at like 3. I mean, who does that. Stahp.)
No one likes vegetables, Shannon. Just quit and raise both your types of children sans vegetables. #CaitLogic
Do I even have to say? Wonderful freaking awesome post Cait <3 I agree with every point! Buying one books leads to buying an entire bookstore! And photos! OMG, Most of the pictures in my phone and camera are my books posing in all their gorgeous glory! And oh yes they are expensive! Like they are basically eating the money I have for food! ( Books vs food #hardchoicesmadebyreaderswhoarealsoeaters )
I’m so glad you liked it.😂😂 And omg one cannot just buy ONE BOOK can we?! They must have friends. Hundreds of friends…
I totally agree with you. I went away and took a small collection of books with me and they had the audacity to get slightly crinkled covers?? Like no…??? this is not allowed. Although it was a good way to spread the pain I was feeling to the people I went with, I parted ways with some of my books for a day or two so they could read them.
Emma recently posted…Rip It or Ship It Book Tag
It’s so disgustingly rude when books insist on getting damaged??? Like no??? Where did we sign up for this?? *stamps foot* 😂
YES TO THIS THEORY (#100%). Like, my books get lost all the time. I put them down somewhere perfectly sensible like a table then LO AND BEHOLD THEY ARE GONE. Is it just because my house is messy? Were they hidden on a windowsill? WHO CAN KNOW.(#mysteries). Also children are small and fragile and so are books. (Also fierce. Hello, smol angry child/ansgsty book/heavy hardcover/child who will not go to bed and REFUSES to be moved.)
(I like to think I am experienced with children because I have 2 younger siblings and babysit often. This isn’t necessarily true. My only real children are my dog and my cat and real is probably the wrong word XD)
Why hasn’t anyone realised that children are books before honestly.
My only real child is my laptop at this point and it keeps throwing tantrums so I DON’T EVEN KNOW. PLEASE LET ME NEVER BE A PARENT OF HUMANS. But at least I make a good book-parent?? I put flowers in my bookshelf’s hair and I dust it biannually. Someone award me omg.😂
FINALLY! someone who gets , books 100 0/0 children. LOVE YOU CAIT , STAY RELATEABLE!
I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!😂
Dude. As a fellow aunt, I CAN RELATE!
“But then the heartless little monsters will see you fall over AND THEN LAUGH. Or have zero qualms about skipping hugging you to steal your iPod for games. Or take your food, literally out of your mouth. Or they smack you in the face because they have limited communication skills and Google Translate doesn’t help with this.” <—- This might seem like exaggeration to non-aunts, but I CAN CONFIRM THAT THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
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OBVIOUSLY I’M ON TO SOMETHING THEN. *hi fives* 😂 And dude, we as aunts aren’t exaggerating at all at how devious small children can be. I once had my nephew hug me so he could take my ipod out of my pocket. Like??? Devious much????
I AM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF POSTS <3
THIS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY, GRACE.😂
wonderful post, as always Cait. And completely relatable.
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I’m so glad you liked it! THANK YOU!
AHHHHHH!!! I love actually deciding to make a concentrated effort to get back to blogging… Mostly because that means I just come and comment on oh so many of your posts. BE PREPARED!!! I read them when I am not blogging, but it is always on my phone so I never get to comment because URGH… AUTOCORRECT IS EVIL!!!!
So, yes… HELLOOOO! Hope you’re ready to get annoyed by all my commenting. Of course this post is 100% accurate about all of the things. Yes to everything. Especiually about how expensive being a rabid bookworm really is. The bookworm life is not cheap and it is not easy, but it is the life I have chosen. Actually, the bookworm life chose me.
They definitely demand all my love and attention… and then destroy me. The bastards! And yet I can’t even hate them.
URGH! What is with the different size books. Like hardbacks should all be the same height. Paperbacks should all be the same heights. Publishers, please, quit messing with the uniform prettiness of my shelves.
And yes, I definitely photograph my books as much as some of my friends photograph their babies. Mine are clearly prettier 😉
GREAT POST AS ALWAYS!!!!
OH I’M GLAD YOU’RE BACK BLOGGING!! I always miss when you aren’t. <3 (And pfft, I'd never get annoyed chatting with you!!)
The bookworm life though...omg.😂 So expensive especially the more deeply obsessed you get. And like they're such little attention demanders. JUST as attention demanding as toddlers. What on earth are we to do with them.
(I think publishers change up sizes strictly to cause bookworms to collapse in puddles of agony. And then buy the matching sets again.😂)
OH MY GOSH ALL OF THIS IS TRUE. Except he doesn’t invite friends over (yet) and so far he likes his veggies which is probably going to change as soon as he turns 1. And you know Growth Spurts not only suck for clothes and shoes but also brings out TERRIBLE behaviour for a period of time like no or bare no naps that make me want to weep.
Annemieke recently posted…TTT #84 – Books with LGBTQ+
Awk, the life of small children and books. They are so inconsiderate to our feels BUT YET WE LOVE THEM. <3
It’s been ages since I’ve been to your blog, Cait! Been on hiatus for over two weeks. So much work. But I’m back!
This is a really good comparison, actually xD books also require EVEN more attention if you don’t just read, but blog about them. Think reviews and Bookstagram!
Good point about leaving them unattended. I have one friend who I’ve lost contact with, she deleted me from Facebook and she still has my physical ARC copy I loved 🙁 one of my few physical copies. Don’t know if I’ll ever get it back. I’m sure she hasn’t read it either. #pain
And I think it’s a bigger problem when books DO eat something. Chocolate on my book, nooooo ;_;
Anyway, missed reading your blog.
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OH HELLO, EVELINA! I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL! *gives you cake* And absolutely, books just keep requiring more and more attention especially if you ignore them. What is this life.
Omg that’s awful. Reason #93893 not to lend books. 😂
Yup, nope, didn’t get any notification for this one. Glad you still like me then 😀
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AHHHHHHHHHHHH how I loved this post! Idk if this is weird but reading your blog is kinda cathartic to me? 😀 I kid you not, I come here after a looong long week and I read what you write and I just have this huge ass grin on my face and it feels so GOOD. Anyway. My sister who lives abroad has decided to grace us with her presence for a short while and I’m currently getting hands on experience in babysitting two of the cutest children ever (both under 4), but they do so match up to all you’ve said here!!! It’s amazing how kids and books are so similar- the third point, especially- their knack for getting into trouble just about anywhere is ridiculous. Also, your nephew is too cuteee <3
THAT KIND OF JUST MAKES MY DAY THANK YOU. 😊😊 I’m really glad my blog makes you smile! My work here is done. 😇
Also omg those children under 4. Little bundles of energy and they like to steal adults’ energy and use it as their own. #legit 😂
SO TRUE! I particularly like Point #5, wherein you suggest causing mass suffering. I have NEVER done that with EITHER my books OR my child … *shifty eyes*.
And Point #4 — I will NEVER understand the urge to change the SIZE of BOOKS! Publishers, of all people, should KNOW BETTER! Don’t they know the frustrations they cause?!
Great post!
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I’M SO GLAD WE ARE IN AGREEMENT, MICHELLE. Obviously we love these children/books but omg. The grey hairs they provide.
(I think publishers do it just to make us cry.😂)
Ah yes. There are days that I take better care of my books than I do my children. That’s totally understandable, right? I mean, let’s face it, the kids can fend for themselves. The books … not so much.
Totally! I mean, I toss my niece onto the bed, but I NEVER toss my books. #priorities 😇
Ahhh Cait! You’ve stumbled upon something I had never thought of before!!! This is fantastic!
(I do eat my vegetables and books probably keep me awake more than my kid does….. Just want to get that out there).
I love some of these comparisons – you’ve made me chuckle yet again. 🙂
Thanks for always having great posts!
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(Well you can eat my vegetables too, right? THEN WE CAN ALL BE HAPPY.) And I’m glad you think my comparisons are sensible and logical ones.😂😇😇
This was the best read of my weekend <3 (mostly because I haven't gone on a book haul in forever and an age and mostly because the only thing left in my elibrary is a ratty little book called Lady Renegades and it bores me because I want to read something dangerous and I've read pretty much all the dangerous books my library carries… be sorrowful. I'll just go mindlessly read up about galvanic vestibular stimulation for this dastardly lecture I have to write *tear drops*).
*gives you cake to make up for your sorrow* Good luck for that lecture your’e writing and I hope you get a good book soon!!
XDDD This is just brilliant. I don’t know if I have anything to add, except for the fact that personally I would rather have books than children. Like, a lot. STILL. This was funny, so thanks for the laugh!
I think I shall collect a houseful of books instead of children too, tbh. Books are more easily stackable and children protest to being put in shelves??? So weird???
6. THIS DIDN’T WORK OUT IN MY FAMILY AS WELL! I mean, I do not look anything like my family at all! I even wonder if I’m secretly adopted???? Ok joke I do share some personality traits with my father and that’s it.
I HEAR THE FEAR. If my family didn’t all have such similar personalities I’d start to wonder about us too.😂