Look first impressions with books are pretty much life vs death.
This might seem dramatic to you, but aRE YOU JUST JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS ABOUT ME AND THIS POST????
Ok fine, yes you’re right. I am dramatic and this post is dramatic and my whole blog is just falling down that dramatic mountainside. (Writer, OK? It’s my job now. I lay claim.)
So I’ve always been a voracious bookworm. So after 150 years of this, you definitely develop the fine skill of Judging Books Pretty Early On And Being Right. I don’t consider this unfair. I know what I like! I know what clicks and what drives me to grind my teeth. And recently, with my decision not to do negative reviews, I’ve started fine-tuning my abilities to figure out if I’ll like a book before I waste time starting it.
Because also: IF I START. I HAVE TO FINISH. It physically pains me not tooooo.
So what are some of the little “Warning Signs” that pretty much assure me I won’t like a book?
Well sit down. I’m so glad you asked.
Although before we go further I want to thoroughly complicate everything by admitting (a) these aren’t ALWAYS the case, so therefore (b) I often try every book anyway, and (c) yes that is why I’m constantly screaming.
1. PROLOGUES …. O H N O
Like obviously this isn’t an “always” so I won’t ditch a book just because of a prologue. (HELLO The Raven Cycle has a prologue and it is perfection.) But I’m just not…a…fan generally.
I find prologues tend to be (a) confusing because there’s no context, (b) usually NOT about the protagonist so why do I care mate, (c) fantasy prologues have a 97% chance of being so cliche my teeth hurt, and (d) jUST GIVE ME THE STORY I’m impatient and needy.
2. WHERE IS THE PROTAGONIST THO
I’m a big believer in the protagonist being introduced in the first sentence. But the first page = IS A MUST. If I have to go through a detailed 500-words describing, like, the town or an obscure myth that’ll be important later but is heckin’ boring now — THEN I’M SO DONE ALREADY. I need character oriented stories! Don’t send me on a mental vacation before the book even starts!
3. THE BOOK TELLS ME IT’LL BE BORING
Why would you do this.
I start a book and the first thing the character declares is: “I AM SUPER BORING AND LIVE IN A BORING TOWN AND MY LIFE IS BORING.” Possibly this is supposed to be relatable, but if I wanted boring, I wouldn’t have picked up a book. I realise this can be a tactic to say “and then life got exciting!” but honestly it’s just telling me we have a Plain Mary Jane/Greg Stu narrating and my carpet will have more personality.
Also I hate it when it’s an outright lie. Like the protagonist says “I AM BORING MY HAIR IS BROWN” and then goes on to be a code hacker, interns for a billionaire company with a shady past, has a dark family secret, etc etc.
Get yourself togEthER, mate.
4. AFTER THE 1ST CHAPTER? STILL NO IDEA WHERE THE BOOK IS HEADED
Stakes should be stated in the first chapter! I am just such a believer in this!
I’ve read books that take over 100pgs to tell me what the character (a) wants, and (b) what the plot is going to be for them to get it. No??? That needs to be up front or what do I root and care about? Just pls throw yourself into the snow and fIGHt something.
Yes I am impatient. We’ve discussed this already. I just never get on with meandering books.
5. NAKED DUDE ON THE COVER
Is this a direct burn @ City of Bones? YES. Because I love that book and absolutely did not read it for years because the nakkkkkked guy on the cover. It’s just a total warning not to even bother picking up the book (and if I do risk it and try the book, half the time if it’s YA there’s no nakedness anyway!! WHAT IS GOING ON.)
6. IT SAYS “FOR FANS OF [INSERT BOOK I HATE HERE].”
Ohhhh this is so hard. But as soon as I hear a book pitched as “for fans of Throne Of Glass” I’ve already left. I’m sprinting. The horizon is mine. But the worst part?! USUALLY these sort of pitches aren’t correct anyway! I mean for goodness sakes, I read The Scorpio Races because it was pitched as “just like The Hunger Games”. W-what. How. No. I have questions.
Also these suck for books I love too. As soon as you say “for fans of The Raven Cycle” I ALREADY HAVE WAY TOO HIGH EXPECTATIONS AND SOMEONE’S GONNA CRY SOON WITH DISAPPOINTMENT. Me? The book? Both probably.
7. PASSIVE PROTAGONIST
Change yer fate, Merida, is all I’m saying.
Look I get that some characters are thrown into their adventures. But I want them to be active participants. I read far too many books where it HAPPENS to the character. I want THEM to happen to it. If a protagonist is hugely passive then it feels like I’m cooking a marshmallow that’s going soggy and will fall into the fire and wow, fine, Hades gets to enjoy it not me.
8. ENCOUNTERING THESE SENTENCES EARLY ON.
These aren’t like 1000% for sure indications that I won’t like the book. But they are like that first sniff of smoke right before you realise your toast would excite an artist who draws in charcoal instead of your stomach that wants breakfast.
- “Getting a boy/girlfriend is all I want.” Why. Aim higher. Where is your Slytherinness.
- “I am a girl but other girls are dumb.” I will cut something. Girl-on-girl hate is so wrong and we’re done here.
- “I hate everyone in my life.” Super huge chance the protagonist is actually the jerk here.
- “My parents would never lie to me!” Indication that we’re about to have 350 pages of parents lying about your werewolf/pixie/secret organisation family history.
- “I had a good night’s sleep.” UNREALISTIC AND UNRELATABLE CONTENT.
9. WHEN THE BOOK IS OVER 500 PAGES.
There are so many exceptions to this rule though (Strange the Dreamer, A Conjuring Of Light, Illuminae omgggg) but the reason I often baulk at really long books these days is bECAUSE I HAVE A REALLY SHORT ATTENTION SPAN I’M CRYING IT’S GETTING WORSE AS I GET OLDER is because I almost always say these books are too slow. I just like fast things. I like to get to the point.
10. CHARACTER FAILS AT THEIR “TALENT” IMMEDIATELY.
If I had a dollar for every time an assassin was introduced and fAILED in chapter one, I would have money to buy them 700 pens to fill out all the application forms for new jobs that they sorely need.
Failure is good. Shakes things up! Scares us all! But a book just feels disappointing from the get-go if the book lies! How am I supposed to trust anything if this character (spy/assassin/A+ student) has one job and they fail?!
Yes! Agree, agree, agree! Especially on the bit about the protags being passive. I picked up a book everyone raves about recently, but for the first few chapters everything was happening to the passive protag and it all *should* have been interesting, but I just didn’t care. I put it down.
yes they need to make us care, right?! I really want the characters to take charge of their story! Or at least have indication that they will!!
#7 – As much as I am as passive as a sloth IRL, I wouldn’t wanna read about a passive main character.
#9 – I am turned off by too many pages because I don’t have enough focus to finish a super long book. But like you, there are exceptions.
Decent book cover – Pray, don’t expect me to pick up a book with an ugly typography or a crappy design. Also, no faces please on my book covers because I want to imagine the look of characters myself. There are exceptions of course like if the main character is POC and if it’s tastefully done.
Contradicting details – Although I have a short attention span, I pretty much possess a solid eye for details and I hate it when starting a book and I can already see contradicting details.
Plot holes – there are certain plot holes that I can brush off but if it’s too glaring and early on the book, bye-bye! Not a forever riddance maybe because I’m bad at DNFing, lol.
Book series – sorry, I have commitment issues. It’s actually been a while since I have committed to a series. Also I have poor memory so I tend to avoid book series particularly if the pub date of the sequels or if the number of books in the series are not yet set. I sometimes read series if all the books have been pubbed already? But most of the time, I am a standalone girl.
That’s EXACTLY my thinking.😂I can be boring and live my boring life quite fine thank you.😂I don’t need to read about someone else’s loooool.
And I definitely demand good book covers too! I know it’s shallow, but I also have to own the book and I love doing book photography, so?!? It’s not too much to ask to demand a pretty cover.😂
I start a LOT of series but finishing them…*laughs hysterically*
I really weirdly don’t like short books. If a book’s under 350 pages my mind just goes NOPE NOT AORTH MY TIME IT WON’T BE DEVELOPED WELL ENOUGH even though they’re normally better and just do everything really well.
If romance is advertised as the main plot. I don’t like romance so there.
BAD COVERS OMGGGGGG I CAN’T
Just dumb tropes like love triangles and Mary-sue protagonists etc. though I don’t care about instalove.
The style of writing, is also a thing that I judge. If it has really intellectual writing (not like John Green, though, his prose is good), I’ll leave, unless the plot is really intriguing. The style of prose can determine how slow-paced and boring it’ll be, I find.
I don’t have many. I normally find out if I’ll like it or not depending on people’s reviews.
Aww no, Jeremy!! My debut is 288.😂
And yeah I’m kind of super tired of love triangles (unless it’s by an author I trust) and the boring dull protagonists…come on! I want the snarky sidekick to narrate for once? And there are definitely some styles that DON’T click with me too, which is a shame.
Lol at all of these. One of my books has a prologue, the other jumps straight into the story and you have the main character arrested within the first 1000 words. I mean, I have to actually write the rest of the stories for both, but yeah. Lol.
But this list! Some of these I’m the same about! Good list!
Aw sorry, I wasn’t meaning to pick on anyone’s current writing! Like I said, it ALWAYS depends and I’m definitely one singular salty bookworm and not everyone’s opinion.😂
Agree except good night sleep part. I have good night sleep most of the time. 😂😂
Well, for me, the early signs are If the synopsis did not interest me, if the first chapter did not interest me, if it is bad boy and good girl pairing story (or I smell any bullying and abusive relationship), and if it is slow paced.
Aww Hana!! You need to teach me your magic sleeping ways.😂 And yeah I am definitely not here for any abusive relationships either!
*whispering my magic sleeping ways*
Done!
I bet you have good night sleep tonight 😉✨
all of these just speak to me on a spiritual level, I hate when the first book of a completely new series I’m starting is more than 300 pages because literally hate slow and boring introductions, I just wanna be thrown straight into it. But after that, gimme all those 800 paged books filled with emotion, action and lots of death, I love getting my soul crushed
I also just normally stay away from books that are predictable and the first person narratives that start off with the usual ‘I hate my life’. And honestly prologues just shouldn’t be there unless they are absolutely 100% necessary because if its not then its most probably never mentioned or needed ever again later in the story
Yes yes! Throw is RIGHT into the action!! I have too short of an attention span for them to amble along, 😂I want to root for something epic right away.
And yeah I am not a fan of the first person narratives of “MY LIFE IS SO BORING.” I mean we KNOW it’s not going to be, so it’s kind of dull and predictable already?!
THIS POST IS GOLD.
My very first pet peeve is DAT NAKED GUY ON THE COVER. Ughh alarms blare inside my brain in .05 nanoseconds. I’m just turned off by those kind of covers ughh
I AGREE ABOUT ALMOST ANYTHING IN THIS POST. Great post as always, Cait!
I actually totally hid City of Bones when I read it as a teen because I didn’t want weird looks from my family lmaoooo.😂
Aww, so glad you enjoyed this!
i absolutely nearly always hate books that have blurbs in which are mentioned multiple things of the following: they’re totally Average™ (spoiler they’re not), they have this special Talent™ that makes them super deep and lonely, suddently they find out that *gasp* they’re the chosen one!, mysterious/hot/lonely/dark boy (hello, cliché love interest!) and/or the name of the protagonist is either Hope/Sky/another weird american name or Rainbow/a name with too many é or è or à/a name that looks like aa keysmash.
These kind of decriptions scream “not good, only marketable“ and i end up hating them!
It’s just like being thrown a whole package of SUPER CLICHE and come on! We’re all tired of it. 😂😂I want things to be shaken up way more!
I definitely agree with comparisons being stupid, most of the time they’re not even right and then it puts too much pressure on the book to be something that it’s not. Girl on girl hate is another massive one for me, sadly there’s usually not an indicator of that until it’s too late, so you kind of just have to grin and bear it till you get to the end of the book. Love triangles-if there is even a whiff of a mention of more than one love interest on the blurb of book, it gets a big bye bye from me. If the writing style is described as lush or something in that vein=hell nah. I am also with you with shirtless guys on covers, I read in public A LOT and I just don’t want other people to see that and be judging me (plus I find sex content extremely awkward so yeah don’t want to be reading that). I also have a problem with books over 500 pages, in that I like them, but I’m wary because I never have time to read them and I always feel like they could be at least 100-200 pages shorter (with some exceptions, ACOL I LOVED and would not have taken out a bit).
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I’ve gotten to the point that when there IS a girl-girl friendship, I get wary that it’s going to end in hate. 😭 And then SUPER HAPPY when it doesn’t ahhhh. I want more epic girl firendships.
I usually am totally off triangles too tbh. There are good ones and Ill take it from a trusted author, but it’s not something I’d rush to read if I know it’s going to happen?
(I hide City of Bones while I read it because I was so embarrassed. SO glad they rebranded them!)
Oh yeah same! We definitely need more epic girl friendships, there are way too few of them. Triangles can be done well, but I’ve been burned too much by them at this point, so if there’s even a hint, I’m usually out. Ha ha don’t blame you there!
100% agree. I can stand a prologue every so often, but seriously, please no shirtless dudes on the cover. I am easily made uncomfortable and I avoid books like that like the literal plague.
Spare our delicate eyes, right?!😂 I just feel like the book is going to be steamy then and most of the time with the YA covers like this…they’re not!! So why do the shirtless dude, ugh!
Ugh, prologues. I agree 101%, unless prologues are really good (yes, Raven Cycle!!!), they should be illegal. I never even got past the prologue of the first Eragon book.
For me, a turn-off is when the book is narrated in first person . . . although usually these books end up being great anyway. I just prefer third person (A Thousand Perfect Notes!!!). I also am wary of books when there’s a bunch of swearing in the first couple pages.
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Omg it’s those epic fantasy prologues that are the killers!! Eragon is a great example of what NOT to do. 😫
And actually I REALLY prefer 3rd person too (as you can tell by ATPN)😂. For some reason 1st feels so whiny these days? I feel like 3rd has more depth (which most people feel opposite)…so yeah I’m with you that 3rd is best.😂
Oh my god yes. I thought I was being a judgmental ass for immediately being turned off from books for these reasons. I’m glad I’m not alone. Life is short and I need to enjoy what I’m reading.
We can be thoroughly judgemental asses together is the obvious conclusion here.😂 *Hi fives*
Oh my goodness I love this! I’m the same as you. Once I have started a book I need to finish it, even if I’m groaning all the way . B x
http://www.babblesnbooks.wordpress.com
Ahhh I’m glad I’m not the only one who can’t DNF!! It’s so hard?!
I clicked on this post so fast, I might have set a world record 😂 I positively HATE when a character insists they are NOT like other people because they are LYING. You are not an alien. You are human. Stop lying to yourself.
And why would I read a book when the character says they’re going to be boring???
500 page books SCARE me, too! But then I end up reading them, and they’re okay? Especially Strange the Dreamer, love, love, love forever.
Naked people on covers are the WORST. I almost didn’t pick up City of Bones because of that, but then there’s an edition that doesn’t have naked guy on it, so I read that, haha!
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THEY ARE ALWAYS LYING IT’S SO FRUSTRATING!! 😂 And then they’ll be like “my hobby is exhuming old graves and I can speak 12 languages…wow I am so boring” and I’m just like…mate. You need to stop. 😂 And talking themselves down is just annoying?! Don’t tell me why I shouldn’t be reading this book!
I had to reading City of Bones covertly as a teen because I didn’t want questions.😂 Thank goodness they rebranded them.
Oh, those TMI covers. Someone bought me City of Bones after I enjoyed the film and it would have been rude not to, but just based on that cover… Nope. No way. I borrowed the ebooks from the library instead of buying the rest of the series because I could not.
Also, I try really hard not to read the “for fans of…” bits, because I know they’re so rarely right and it’s only going to prejudice me against a book if it’s something I didn’t like *cough*Throne of Glass/ACOTAR*cough* – or if it feels like they’re jumping on the hype wagon – not all dystopians have to be the next Hunger Games! I realised that one of my favourite fantasies was blurbed as “keeping Twilight fans satisfied” and if I’d noticed that before I read it, that would have been another hard nope.
The covers were SO bad for the original series.😂And the new ones are so so good though! I’m so glad they rebranded, like usually I hate covers being redone, but holy heck did they need it.
And yeah the “for fans of…” are almost always let downs. And I have a book with a PRINTED ON STICKER saying “For fans of Throne of Glass” and I hate ToG so it’s torture. I don’t even take photos of it.😂
“I had a good night’s sleep”
Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one in the world who sleeps well. Every time I say I slept well or that I wake up
between 4 or 5am everybody freaks out. 😅
TELL ME YOUR DARK WIZARDRY SECRETS OMG. I sleep like 4 hours and I consider that lucky.😂
These are all great reasons to not even touch books. To me the biggest issue is the writing though, if I don’t click with the writing style it’s all over, the book could have the world’s most exciting plot and most interesting characters and I wouldn’t be able to read it, or finish it — which sometimes happens when I make the bad judgement call of ignoring my first impressions and pushing through.
Yes the writing is SO important! Like it can be the best plot ever, but if it’s not executed right or the style just doesn’t work for us then gah, what’s the point. *Cries*
I agree with #5. I’ve never met a naked dude book that I liked. (Not even City of Bones. Sorry.) A book’s writing style will tell me pretty quickly if I’ll like the book. I can’t stand lazy, amateurish writing.
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I DO love City of Bones but 299999% glad they rebranded, WOW. That was such a bad cover idea. 😂
Honestly, I used to be excited when I read “for the fans of…” on other books, but now I’m just wary. I think that marketing point has been overused, especially when the synopsis already obvious that it’s NOT like that aforementioned popular books. Same goes with passive protagonist, but overly active ones (the reckless ones) also tells me that I won’t be liking the book xD I think characters are always a pretty tricky thing for me, too passive and they became uninteresting, too reckless and they frustrates me!
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Yes same! I think they’ve just let us down too many times tbh. And usually they’re just the popular books (SURELY not ever fantasy is “The next Game of Thrones” gahhhhh.)
And yeah the really really bold and brazen protagonists don’t necessarily grab me either unfortunately.😂Middle ground is good?!
I HATE prologues. I suppose authors do it to grab your attention with something exciting, but what’s the point when the next chapter is just a whole different set of characters so you’re starting again anyway (and so if you DID hook people with the prologue you’ve promptly lost them again??) I love big books though – where you follow a character or set of characters through their whole life. There’s so much time for character development and just falling in love with a whole lot of people. 😀
Yes yes that exactly! I don’t CARE about an action scene. I want to get to know the characters I’m going to be with straight away. Plus it’s too many characters for my tiny attention span.😂 I am the absolute worst how am I a bookworm.
I totally agree with these! Especially the one about no clothes! 😂 Also, I like how you kind of hid some writing tips in here. (like introducing the protagonist and their want early on)
I am sneaky with my writing tips. 😂😂 I cover them in salty rants. 😂 (EVERYONE NEEDS TO WEAR CLOTHES ON COVERS HERE.)
I don’t like people on the cover, naked or otherwise. I like to visualize them myself in my head. So I don’t add characters to my book covers because of this. It doesn’t mean I won’t read the book, because so many covers DO have people/characters on them. I just prefer not to see them.
I don’t like a lot of language or steamy bedroom scenes either. They never add anything to the story. Any idiot can use four letter words, it doesn’t add anything to the writing.
People on the covers is actually one I’ve changed my mind on a bit!! I used to HATE it, but what I really just don’t like is the generic white girl face or whatever and they all are super close up and look the same. 😂 But now we get actually nicely designed ones like The Belles, Tyler Johnson Was Here, Lady Midnight, The WIcker King, etc. I am for these!
I actually like swearing in books and don’t think it’s a show of lesser intelligence.😂I think it’s a good way to bring across high emotion without using ableist language. (I’d rather see someone saying “shit” than “moron” or “r*tard” or such. So bring curse away! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Wait, some people DON’T have indicators before reading a book that they won’t like it???????????? I have so many!!!I
-when it’s a fantasy book and the synopsis sounds so awesome and then the last paragraph says something like “the court isn’t her own danger, her heart is as well as she falls for the mysterious princes” there is almost nothing more disappointing
-if it’s a long series that’s more than seven books, the only seven book series I have finished is Harry Potter and a) long series are a major commitment for me and b) the only other ones I’ve tried where I Am Number Four and Throne of Glass which I dnf’d at book one and Ranger’s Apprentice which I only read five books of so they have a bad dnf rate.
-shirtless guys on the cover annoy me too, honestly they just look like erotica and when I read City of Bones I will do everything in my power to read the new cover where the guy has a shirt
-romances are generally a no for me, I’m not a super romantic person
-if it just seems like another generic fantasy, like I’m actually now avoiding a lot of fantasy because I burned myself out and Six of Crows ruined generic fantasy for me with how good it is
There are others but those are general pet peeves
I DON’T KNOW. I guess most people do.😂We are all judgemental little bookworms deep down inside aren’t we?!
Omg yes to the part where it’s “epic premise!! but all the protagonist cares for is love!!” I just…sigh. Also agreed that it’s hard to stay focused on mega long series. Also you can grow out of them before they’re finished? I grew out of Ranger’s Apprentice before it finished and I’m sad. But on the other hand, if Cassandra Clare writes 3989 more books I will read the heck out of them.😂 (Speaking of City of Bones…I absolutely hide while I read that.😂I did NOT want my family giving me strange looks. Thank goodness they rebranded!)
Six of Crows should be ashamed of how good it was and how nothing can live up to it. 😭😭
I SO agree on so many levels! I’ve been a reader for… well, I’m old now… so a LONG time. I have had a really hard time finding ‘good’ books to read for the last couple of years. Tastes change; I love a good epic Loonnnnnggg book sometimes, but I also like to have a good ‘let’s get right into this story’ kind of book, too. Thanks for the post! Love it! (and no judging whatsoever)
Tastes do change too!! Like things bother me now that didn’t used to and sometimes I start liking things I didn’t.😂It’s funny right?! (I’m glad you enjoyed my little salty rants.😂)
Hi, Cait !!!
HAHAHAHAHAHHA OH MY GOD THIS WAS HILARIOUS <3 I LOOOOVED IT xD Best part is that every single thing you've mentioned was soooo relatable :O Those are the very same things that tell me "Hey, Juli, you might not like this book." So we totally match xD I'm not a fan of long books. Pretty covers are the wooooorld, damsels in distress are the worst and so are alpha males in books.
Thanks for this post !! It was truly great <3 <3 <3
We clearly have VERY good taste in books together then *hi fives* 😂 And like short is just better for my terrible attention span ha. Also damsels in distress and alpha males = absolutely nope. I will run away from those for sure.
lol omg this post was hilarious but also so so informative. i feel like all of your info/opinions are very relevant and like…to the point?
definitely things a budding writer (me) should be looking out for when they’re writing.
I’m glad they actually make sense looool I’m just having a bit of a salty rant here.😂
Yes to all of these! XD
I’m glad we agree.😂
I definitely agree with all of this. This was such a fun and totally relatable post. 😂 I especially don’t like books with naked men on the cover. I always run away from those. IDK, it just looks sketchy to me. 😂
SO sketchy.😂And also kind of inappropriate for YA?!😂
I gotta say, for me, I do not like when the main character is in an established relationship. It’s stupid, I know, but usually I get a blaring siren in my head like THEIR PARTNER IS GOING TO DIE/THEY WILL BREAK UP IMMEDIATELY and then I’m just going to sit there sad and lost if they do, despondently staring at the page.
Also because let’s be real, dat pining stage, that build up, that UST !!!!! I am a sucker for romance and I wanna watch it all happen. Every stolen glance and stuttering breath and bit of banter, That is the bee’s-flippin-knees.
Ohhhh I never thought of it like that. Haha. But those things do tend to happen!? Although I like the established relationship sometimes for the fact that we don’t have to suffer through instalove.😂
Wow this is such a great list!! Yes to almost all of these!!! (I don’t mind prologues at all) But I HATEEE it when the book declares itself to be boring cause then it will be cause it’ll have all those predictable cliches!! Naked guys turn me off as well, and passive protagonists are just awful!
Another thing that turns me off is excessive swearing, just cause I don’t need/want it in every page! I like it when it’s well used to emphasize stress, anger, and high stakes, (or just snark 😂) but I don’t like to constantly encounter it in a good story. It just really REALLY turns me off. Idk.. just my humble opinion 🤷♀️
Fabulous post, Cait!
And it’s so ridiculous for a book to be all like “THIS IS A BORING TOWN AND A BORING PROTAGONIST”…mate, why am I reading then.😂It’s like talking itself down before its started!
I actually do like swearing ah ahah but I get that a lot of people don’t!😂
Cait, I love this post! The idea is awesome! Would you mind if I stole it, if I credited you and linked back to this post? (Though to be honest, it probably wouldn’t be very long. I generally go by the blurb.)
What I found quite funny about reading this is a lot of the things you don’t like either don’t bother me, or I actually do like. I like prologues! One of my favourite series has prologues! The first prologue gives a brief history of the gods and what led to the big crappy thing that the main character, unbeknown to him, he’ll have to deal with later, which is so interesting! And then the rest of the prologues are brief summaries of what happened in the previous book, which is super helpful. But in general, I just find them really intriguing. I mean, the prologue for Strange the Dreamer? WHO IS THIS BLUE GIRL WHO FELL ON RAILINGS?! I am hooked and need to know more.
Also, if a book is super long, it’s generally a sign I’m going to love it. There are very, very huge books I’ve read that I haven’t loved immensely. Although I read a lot of them, shorter books are more annoying, it’s over in the blink of an eye, and I’m not ready for the story to be done. I want a story I can fully immerse myself in over several days, and enjoy my time in that world with those character. Shorter books are over far too quickly.
I’m not so keen on half naked men on covers. There are some urban fantasy novels by an author I adore. The main series has a female protagonist, so she looks badass on all the covers. But the other spin off stand alones? They’re mainly dual narrated, but naked guy on the cover. Another spin off series? Deals with a guy in the previous series, but his love interest narrates. He is the only person on the covers, and he is always topless! And they’re really not all that sexy. There are sex scenes, but not a huge amount, because I just get bored otherwise. So why the sexy man covers? I hate them! They make me so embarrassed when reading in public! But because of the first series, I know these books are good! Otherwise I’d never have picked them up, but god. They are brilliant, though.
Again, great post, Cait! 🙂
Of course!! GO FOR IT. I don’t feel like this is an original post idea anyway, so don’t worry about crediting particularly.😂
And honestly The Raven Boys has a prologue so I shouldn’t rage too much about them.😂(I LOVE that prologue there.) And Strange’s one is actually good too…short as well. It’s the long villain monologues that make me just blehhhh. Like two random people meeting in the dark to gripe and it’s always so out-of-context I’m just…nope.😂
I’m definitely one of the few who prefer shorter books! I know people who won’t READ shorter books.😂But like proved by ATPN being 288 pages…I like quick.😂
And agreed with the topless covers?! I just hate it. I hate the double standard that it would be absolutely UNTHINKABLE for that to be a topless woman but it’s ok to have a guy? *eye roll* Just everyone…put clothes on. That’d be great. 😂 (Also always think its inappropriate for YA. Ha ha I had to hide City of Bones while I was reading it as a teen lmao.)
i never really thought much about prologues or how i felt towards them. maybe i dont notice and just read it as chapter 1… i think im going to pay extra atttention tot his now
Sometimes they work as just a chapter one! Like The Raven Cycle’s one does and I LOVE IT. It’s usually the epic fantasy ones where it’s just a villain monologue that I loathe.😂
Ah yes, the infamous “This book is the next [fill in the blank]” endorsement. Whether it’s compared to a book I love or hate, it’s usually a bad sign. xD Especially if a book is billed as “the next Harry Potter!” Because no. Usually that just means this book features a young “chosen one,” there’s a wise old mentor, and there’s magic (possibly a magic school). But inevitably, it is much, much worse than Harry Potter. Don’t set standards for yourself that your book can’t meet.
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Yes exactly! Like if it’s a favourite book = instantly I know it’s going to fail expectations. And if it’s a book I HATE then … I don’t even wanna read it.😂 Also it’s always like “Harry Potter meets TFIOS” or whatever is new and hot at the moment, and like…do these people actually read any YA books?😂
I encountered a book last month where the character’s goal was to get her next-door neighbour to fall in love with her. I should’ve known the book and I wouldn’t work out, but I persevered because the reviews were so good…it was honestly the worst book I’ve ever read. LITERALLY THE WHOLE OF TWO BOOKS WAS ABOUT THE CHARACTER TRYING TO GET HER NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOURS (yes, neighbours, who were brothers, who she apparently both liked or something) TO LIKE HER. It was mind-numbing, honestly. I should’ve trusted my instinct and DNFed, but like you, I kind of have to finish a book I’m currently reading. XD
Omgggg that plot sends me fleeing to the hills too.😂 But I get it! Sometimes I’ll pick up a book I’m totally not sure I’ll like because the reviews are good, and it *sometimes* works out??? But usually not.😂 DNF’ING IS REALLY HARD. I CAN’T.
Ooh, I feel the same way towards books with naked bodies on the cover. Especially if it’s a YA book! It could be completely innocent with no naughty things going on inside at all, but having a naked dude on the cover immediately makes me assume the worst.
And prologues really annoy me too! Do we have to go through this? Can’t we just get to the story straight away, I’m so impatient????
AND THE COMPARISONS TO OTHER BOOKS!!!! My copies of The Iron Fey have those awful non-removable stickers on calling it “the new Twilight” which kind of fills me with a sense of dread. Why do that? It gives me weird expectations.
I know right?! And I can’t even remember there being any nakedness in City of Bones so the cover COMPLETELY CONFUSES ME. I’m so glad they rebranded.😂 I had to like only read that undercover because I didn’t want my family going “whattttt are you reading”.😂
I’m SO impatient too ajfkdsla just give us the story.
And omg the stickers!! When they’re printed on too, lIKE CAN THEY JUST NOT.
Okay, I just have to say that I love the line about Hades eating your marshmallow. xD
I read so few books, that when I do manage to pick one up I tend to read through it all the way to the end even if it feels like a slog. But I never continue the series thereafter.
Number 10 is a good one, and I guess a parallel is a protagonist who doesn’t know what they’re doing but are in a dangerous situation, and I just…don’t need the exhaustion that comes from the suspense of somebody not knowing they can win yet they get into trouble constantly anyway.
😂😂 I TRY. I was actually cutting stuff from this post to make it shorter and was going to cut that one but then…I LIKE THAT LINE. I’M GONNA KEEP IT.😂
I always finish too! It just makes me feel odd to have unfinished books around?! And I always want to know if the end might save it a bit.😂
See, most of these don’t ACTUALLY bother me. :/ I DO, have to say that a big turnoff for me, at least, is when the protag decides to make a decision that doesn’t even fit his character! You can tell it’s forced, and It’s just, the worst.
Yeah ugh I’ve read books where that happens and it’s confusing?! Or like when they do a pendulum personality swing and you legit can’t even recognise them as the same person.😭
I haz a few.
1. Preachiness. I don’t care if I agree with the point the author’s trying to make, if I feel lectured to, I’m going to shut down. Any and all messages should be seemlessly woven into the plot and feel organic.
2. And to follow up (1), trying to have too many “lessons.” This is one reason why I stopped reading Rick Riordan – I no longer felt like I was reading stories, but instead Social Justice With a Plot (TM). I don’t care if if they are good lessons. If you have too many of them, there’s no room for me to get to know the characters and enjoy the journey with them.
3. The Main Character is Always right. No one is always right. Bottom line. Especially if they’re under the age of eighteen. Even if they’re a Social Justice Warrior. If I don’t feel like the character is going to learn something, I’m out.
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I hate being preached at or lectured or like a message is just being rammed down my throat?! Although I adore Riordan and love how inclusive he is to minorities 😍I wish I’d had that series as a kid!
I used to love his books, I really did – and I do commend for being inclusive. It just that it feels to me at this point that he’s trying to coast on the Diversity card. And maybe I’m just burnt out after reading 15 books from him. He is one of my most-read authors. But after the second or third lecture to the reader from Magnus in the second of his series, I couldn’t with him anymore.
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But having lots of diversity doesn’t mean it’s doing it “for the cookies” so to speak. That would happen if it was like “this character is deaf” and then didn’t bother to develop culture or talk about depth or how their minority affects them in every day life.
I think Riordan ALWAYS develops it, like with all his lgbtqia+ kids and difference ethnicities and religions and cultures! Developing them is important and shows them as a thing, not just a label.
I didn’t say that he handled them wrong, more that he’s so busy spotlighting each and every minority that it’s coming at the cost of the story – which I’ve seen you yourself note were already becoming a bit repetitive. I’ve not hated a single representation I’ve seen – even ones that I don’t agree with due to personal morals, I understand that these kids do exist, they are humans deserving of representation in literature, and I’m not in a position to judge them. And I don’t feel that Rick is doing it for the cookies – he’s doing it because he knows and loves a lot of kids who have been in these shoes, and I commend him for that. I just wish that I didn’t feel that the expansion of all of these characters wasn’t slowing the plot. Especially when Marcus went off on his rants – and I actually AGREED with him on the one where I stopped reading. The elf’s father was a nasty.
When I started reading Riordan, his selling card was “Mythology in modern day with a side of representation” and now it feels more like “Representation with a side of mythology in modern day.” It’s become more about the platform than the stories. Does that make sense?
And again, I also burnt myself out on the author. Maybe I’ll get back to him eventually, but there are so many books on my TBR that it’s time for me to let some other authors catch up to him on my read list. Anywho.
(I’d also like to note that when I started reading Riordan, I’m not sure that the orginal series was finished, and if there was hype for it yet, it hadn’t blown my way. I actually read them for school. For the mythology. And I kept reading them for Percy’s snark. Maybe I’m just upset because Percy’s been excusing himself from the action. This is a possibility…)
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I definitely understand growing out of them, missing Percy, or just not being up for the repetitive formatting — but I have to very strongly disagree with saying there’s a problem with featuring lots of diversity often and frequently and putting it at the forefront of a story.
But I want to see my diverse characters featured stories that would still be critically acclaimed even if they weren’t diverse. Books where they just make it better. And it came to the point where I felt that if the plots and characters weren’t there as Representation, then they’d just feel repetitive and crowded, and Riordan would have probably lost most of his readership by now. If a book has to sell on representation and diversity to be considered good, then is that good representation and diversity? Yes, it’s the heart that counts, but should we reward books that don’t bring the heart?
And I don’t say that just on diversity. If I read Christian fiction – even if I do agree with what they’re saying – if I can’t take out the Christianity and still have a “good” story, then it isn’t good Christian fiction. Period, bottom line. Nothing frustrates me more than a book that sells DESPITE its story.
Hmm, I don’t really think I agree. Sorry! And it’s okay to agree to disagree! I think there should be books that represent a minority and that CAN be the sole point of the book. For instance, if you take out the autism in my upcoming book — it would be a thin story. It would have gutted its heart.
And it’s VERY subjective to say Riordan sells on diversity alone! I mean that might be how you see it, but we can never know. We haven’t talked to all his readers, his editors, his publicists, or him himself. So it’s speculation. Which is fine to do…but yeah. Just something to be careful with, I think.
(Christian fiction is kind of hard to put into this category because Christianity isn’t a minority. I wouldn’t call it diverse either.)
I totally agree that it’s okay to disagree. But … that wasn’t quite what I meant to mean. I don’t mean “take the diversity out.” What I mean is – would the story still be considered good if every book WAS diverse and it wasn’t something that we could market on? Same with the Christian. If people aren’t looking for a category or label, would they still enjoy the story? Taking out the diversity/representation or Christianity or whatever label you’re writing under SHOULD gut the story, but there should be a good story. I wasn’t putting Christianity into the same group, just saying that it’s another label that people put on their books saying you should read it because it has X, and I see not so great stories coast by because they have X. Argh. I see so MANY mediocre Christian books getting praise just because they have that label, and it frustrates me to no end.
And I cannot to pretend to know any of his intentions save the ones that he outright states. That’s why I was very careful to use feel – that it was the feel I got from reading his book – and it’s 100% my feeling from JUST reading the books. And a small bit of observation of what I see come through pinterest.
(Also, a note that occured to me last night … I think it’s the fact that it feels like he’s taking time out to justify his inclusion of these characters, not so much that he is including them. A side-nod from Apollo where he went “what, you think I should be upset about X” + Marcus’s rants – both within the narrative so that it’s for the reader alone. I know that those books are first person TO the reader while the HoO were third and we were just observers, so that might be more of the difference, but it’s like he’s felt the backlash from readers and is trying to justify himself to them. Like, Rick – those who didn’t like that you’re doing this are gone by now are mostly gone. I walk in these circles. I watched them go. If you make a decision to go this direction, do so. It’s your book. You don’t need to justify it if it’s a good story.)
And if you’re someone who has been helped by any one of characters that Riordan has featured: go you. My not enjoying his work shouldn’t undermine your enjoyment at all. Maybe I’m just jealous because I wish that his representation for dyslexia was a bit better. Oh, it’s there – hugely there – but because it’s not *actual* dyslexia, it feels undermined. And the fact that it’s the only popular positive representation of dyslexia in fiction. Hum. I ought to fix that…
Honestly, I can’t wait to read your second book – I read ATPN the other week, and it absolutely broke my heart. I can’t wait for you to break my heart again.
The first sentence and paragraph in a book can tell me SOOO many things, but I always know whether I’m going to like the book if my attention is kept and engaged, but often I throw the thing out the window because its either dull, pointless, unappealing, or ALL THE ABOVE… in the first paragraph alone. O.O
I tend to like prologues if they are done right, but some just don’t make sense until you’ve read the book and then go “ohhh…” THAT’S what the prologue was about. Such as in the book Heartless by Anne Elizabeth Stengl. The book itself was super good, but the prologue was iffy. Like, whyy are you here??
UGH YES WHY ARE SOME CHARACTERS OBSESSED WITH HAVING A RELATIONSHIP?? I absolutely hate books like that. XP
I can generally tell in like the first chapter too! I mean, maybe it’s early judging, but I’ve read SO long, I just usually know.😂However I still can’t not finish sooooo…*awkwardly keeps reading* 😂
And yeah prologues can work! I just usually don’t like them.😂
(It’s possible to have a good book and a cool plot WITHOUT ALL THE ROMANCE WOW.)
Agreed!
Yeah, I can often tell pretty quickly if I’m going to have a hard time with a book. I actually gave up on Red Rising after the very first page because the author wrote:
“You have inherited this legacy,” he pauses, studying faces in the assembly.
PET PEEVE ALERT! You literally cannot pause, frown, shrug, sniff, smile, or do any other silent action and have words come out of your mouth! I mean, you can pause and talk, or smile while you’re talking, but those actions don’t result in audible words themselves. (If the author had simply written, “You have inherited this legacy,” he says, pausing to study faces in the assembly, I wouldn’t have had a problem.)
Ahem. I’m passionate about my peeves. Seriously, though, I’m glad it was on the first page (hello? editors?), because I’ve read books where the author doesn’t start doing this until halfway through, and then I’m just gritting my teeth for the whole rest of it while my hatred rises. So, thanks, Brown, for getting that out of the way so soon and letting me know I wasn’t going to like the book!
(Maybe one day I’ll try again if I can get over that particular pet peeve. But I’m not holding out much hope.)
I also agree with #4 and #6 here. I hate books that take way too long for the plot to get going. And those comparisons? They’re rarely ever accurate. (What really bugs me is when they compare a book to two books, one of which I loved and one of which I hated. I mean… how am I supposed to know if I’ll like it then?!)
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Yes the comparisons are always a problem! Whether they’re a book you like (then expectations are too high!) or one you hated (avoid avoid!) it’s like guaranteed to fail.😂
And haha, I mean I guess for the “he paused” thing it just needed a comma change. I’m glad I’m not bothered by something small like that I guess!
My warning signs are:
Early info dumps (ESPECIALLY if it’s the prologue–a la Lord of the Rings–just #nope. I do not care about this information. You have not yet MADE me care about this information. Work for it, suckers. :-P)
Too-sparse description, esp. if it relies on naming lists of objects without SHOWING WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE and expecting my imagination to fill in the blanks. Eh . . . nay. Nay, friend. My imagination didn’t sign up for that.
A story that starts out with an action scene. I struggle mightily with visualizing action; so that turns me off right away. Let me have five minutes to acclimatize myself, at least??? is that too much to ask????
HAHA! Yes! The naked dudes on the covers! Why, Spock? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Why do we need. We do not.
Exactly! I think epic fantasy is often the biggest culprit for terrible info-dumping prologues. 😂😂Avoid avoid! I want to know the main character straight away instead.
And like yes, we need description – not too much but enough to actually see the world! I also prefer no action scene beginnings because we don’t even know the characters yet so we don’t really care if they win or not?!
So many of these are true for me as well! Listen, when I am reading a book and 50% in I still have no clue where it’s going or what the point of this book actually is, I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t. Weirdly enough, I tend to like prologues!
Naked people on the cover also make it very embarrassing to read in public. At least, it makes me feel embarrassed…
Some of the things that make me nope out of there faster than I can usually run are: boring characters, characters who are awful and unlikeable but also have nothing intriguing or mysterious about their personality, judgmental characters, plots that make no sense at all (honestly, why??) and badly done research.
Actually, I read The Goldfinch last year (or two years ago, what is time?) and I was so excited because it partly takes place in Amsterdam. Let’s say there are about 4 Dutch sentences in this book. About 3 of them are wrong. Honestly, you couldn’t have tried to find ONE Dutch speaking person to correct that? They aren’t even difficult things, but like basic Dutch! It annoyed me so much.
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Yes yes exactly that! I hate reading a book and then realise I still have NO idea what it wants to achieve?! I need solid and concrete goals right upfront. I’m glad you like prologues though. 😂You can have all mine.
And yes haha the nude-ish covers make me feel so awkward reading them in the open.
Omg I also hate the unlikeable ones. Or the ones that are just cruel or condescending or “better then thou”…like maybe they get an arc later, but then it’s too late for me to forgive them in like 40 ending pages, when I’ve spent 300 hating them!
Ohhhh no that’s awful about The Goldfinch. And terrible the editors didn’t get it properly checked?!?
” I want THEM to happen to it”– that is SUCH a great way to look at it. I’m going to remember this always in reading and writing. *nods*
Aww I’m glad you liked that line!😂💛💛
You had me laughing at ‘I had a good night’s sleep’ That is definitely the most unbelivable sentence in the world for us bookworms.
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ISN’T IT JUST?! Like so so unbelievable right there.😂
I shamefully judge books by their covers, and like you, I’m immediately turned off by a nude fellow (or woman for that matter!) on the front cover. Because that screams “ROMANCE!!” at me, and, even worse, “EXPLICIT ROMANCE!!!!” I can’t remember ever picking up a romance novel that I enjoyed. However, I also avoid books with women in bonnets on the front as well. because that almost always guarantees it will be a historical/Amish romance and I can’t stand those either!
I’m 50/50 on prologues. Sometimes they’re dull and don’t contribute anything to the story, but sometimes they can be really good. I especially like them in books that are told from the first person, so we get to see a brief moment that foreshadows later events, but that the MC couldn’t be expected to know about. So they can be done badly and they can be done well, I won’t stop reading a book just because it has a prologue.
Slow starts annoy me in modern fiction, but I read a lot of classics so I prepare myself in those for the fact that it will be slow and drag a bit.
If the romance starts too soon, then I tend to drop the book pretty quickly. Unless I’m really invested, but usually not.
Other than, I tend to agree. Boring protagonists are, well, boring. Boring first chapters also tend to be a no. If it’s still boring by about 50% then we’ve got issues. Unrealistic happenings and not-so-subtle foreshadowing are also very annoying. But it tends to take quite a number of those issues for me to actually stop reading (because like you, if I start the book I WILL FINISH IT SO HELP ME.)
Ha yes so much cover judging.😂But hey we have to own these books so we get rights! And I don’t really mind romance, but I’m not super keen on the steamy scenes, and yes, the naked-ish covers kind of indicate it’s going there.😂(Omg DEFINITELY avoid anything that looks remotely Amish lmao that is without question.😂)
I honestly don’t read prologues very much…I may be the worst.
I also don’t like it if the romance is right in the first chapter? Unless they’re already together! But like if the first chapter is just: I want a boy/girlfriend…I’m already tired.😂 (I’M SO OLD THESE DAYS WOW.)
Ahhh my book has a prologue. I actually kinda like them mostly because they never make sense until the end of the book, am i weird. I legitimately haven’t read City of Bones because of the naked dude on the cover. WHY WHY WHY. anyways, huge books scare me, like i have had COBAB on my shelf for so long BUT HAVE I READ IT. nope.
I absolutely hide City of Bones when I read it as a teen because I didn’t want weird looks from my family.😂 But luckily they rebranded the covers!! WE HAVE HOPE iN THE WORLD.
(And definitely didn’t mean to salt on your prologue! The Raven Boys has one and it’s my FAVOURITE BOOK EVER. So it definitely depends right?! 💛)
I agree with you that it’s annoying when you don’t know where a book is headed. I’ve been DNFing a bunch of books lately and I realized that part of the reason why is that the stakes aren’t stated or they just don’t seem that compelling..so I’m already bored. Also LOL I forgot that the City of Bones had the naked guy on the cover. I picked up that series in my middle school library so I kind of assumed it couldn’t be all that inappropriate..right?? Hahah. I kind of like it when books are pitched for fans of [insert thing] because if anything, it’ll usually be the reason why I take a chance of an author I haven’t heard of. And I know it can sometimes be inaccurate but it does make me curious about the book. ALso YES long books put me off too haha…unless it’s Cassandra Clare. I’d read anything she writes.
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It’s so annoying to be bored while reading! That’s the opposite of what’s supposed to be happening with a book.😂 But yeah omg I totally put of even trying City of Bones for so long because of the cover. SO glad they rebranded.😂
People act like judginess is a bad thing, but you know what? Judging a book early on saves time. I’ve recently become acquainted with the art of the DNF list, but I don’t like doing it if I don’t have to. Picking up a new book is like dating. I’m only here because out of all the other books, I’m pretty sure we can make this work. Halfway through the date, though, I might find out you’re Team Autobot, and we might have to go out separate ways, but at least we tried! It was so good on paper.
Wow…that got random.
Anywho, I don’t mind prologues! When they’re done well, anyway. If a prologue is used only for worldbuilding, I tap out. I just don’t care. I also don’t tend to pick up books that start with a page of just describing the scene unless it feels like it’s leading somewhere (like for comedic effect, juxtaposition, etc). If it’s just to tell me what the town/world looks like … meh.
“Hades gets to enjoy it not me.” <— I spit out just a teensy bit of coffee at this. It was worth the sacrifice. Also, Hades deserves marshmallows, too. Sheesh.
My biggest pet peeve lately (which I guess is a new thing, based on the books I've been reading?) is insta-love. Not insta-attraction, because I am 100% in for that because, hey, it happens. But girl meets guy and three days later, they're so in love and she would totally take a bullet for him because SOULMATES. I know some people love this trope, but I just can't. I mean, I knew I was going to marry my husband before we started dating, and now we've been together for 11 years (gosh, how old am I?!), and I *might* take a bullet for him. Maybe. Depends on the day. It's also equally likely I might be the one firing the bullet, okay? xD Because love and soulmates and yada, yada.
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Absolutely! I think it’s ridiculous to say “don’t judge books too early” because hello, time is precious.😂And why shouldn’t we get to know our tastes and peeves and preferences?! Like I know if I’m going to enjoy a type of coffee and that’s ok.😂
Prologues CAN be good though, I agree! I am a huge fan of the Raven Boy one.😂
omg I’m so glad that Hades line made you laugh.😂
Also yup agreed about the instalove. I don’t mind insta attraction either, because it can be massively cute, but I want to see relationships that take WORK. That’s way more realistic to me than the whole “omg I’ll die for you” thing in 2 days.
Ugh, what is with naked guys on book covers? This is why I’ve never read Cassandra Clare’s books. Everyone tells me they’re great though, and I”m curious and want to try them. . . but those covers. *shivers* Please, just wear a shirt.
Passive protagonists can be fun. It’s funny seeing them thrown into a situation and watching them try to deal with it (like Bilbo when his home is invaded by dwarves), but if they stay passive, then there’s definitely a problem. I don’t mind passive protagonists as long as they turn into active players in the story.
They are SO good and luckily have had a cover series rebrand and the new ones are badass and gorgeous. But the old ones *shudders* 😂I hid while I read them when I was a teen because I didn’t want my mum asking questions.😂
Yes it’s the staying passive that’s the problem! I don’t mind when characters are unwilling to start with. Bilbo was definitely taking a while.😂HIS FACE WITH THE FISH THO IN THOSE MOVIES.
Hi Cait! I haven’t read your blog in so long!! I’ve missed it! I usually look at a book cover too, but I also read the blurb on the back. If it sounds like a fun and interesting read, I’ll give it a try, if not: well I don’t. I’m mostly willing to give any book a chance, but if I can’t get into it, I will just stop reading. I hate falling asleep while reading a book!
~Llissa~
Aww hi, Mellissa!! *sends you welcome back cake* I’m glad you can just quit on a book though if it doesn’t work for you! That’s a VERY good thing to do😂I just hate unfinished things so much blehhh.
I hate girl on girl hate! And the whole “I’m not like other girls” trope!! Its the worst! Great post 😀
Exactly! Those two are just INSTANT NOPE.
OMG I agree with so many of these things. Like… there is one book where for chapters I read about the protagonist being a badass, being the best at sneaking and fighting…. but then screws up in the first battle? And makes so many mistakes? Like I can’t. How am I supposed to take you seriously now?
I hate it when things just *happen* to the protagonist and they do nothing to change it. Then why am I reading your story? Why do I care what happens to you, if you don’t?
Unless the 500 page book is a sequel in a series that I’m already emotionally invested in, I usually put it to the bottom of my TBR pile.
Looove this post, Cait!
~Brittany @ Brittany’s Book Rambles
And like where it starts off with “this is a very famous and great assassin!” and they get stabbed/poisoned in chapter one. Like suuuure, mate, I believe you from now on.😂 And YES I just want protagonists to care about their story, not be dragged along by it. It makes the whole story far too passive.
Wow why are these SO accurate? The one that always gets me is the comparisons. Because yeah no thanks I’d rather not read another ToG? Since I didn’t really like the first one? But you are also so right about the comparisons always being pretty off. So it’s a struggle! I honestly wish publishers didn’t use them, but alas. ALSO even though I will BUY a really big book, to get me to READ the thing is a very different story indeed. Because I can convince myself to buy it, just never to actually start it ha. Makes my hands hurt (and my brain, let’s be real). And I absolutely cannot take any book with a naked cover guy seriously. EVER.
Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight recently posted…Unfortunate Covers of Your Favorite Books: Part 6 (Sequel Edition)
IT’S SO FRUSTRATING WHEN IT’S ONE YOU HATE. This has literally stopped me reading books! Like my copy of To Kill A Kingdom has a sticker on it (PRINTED GRGSFSSFSS) and it says “perfect for fans of Sarah J Maas”. I loved TKAK…hate SJM.😂So who’s wRONG, marketing people. (Also not-surprisingly, I don’t take many photos of it because: sticker.)
I totally agree that you have to make me care about the protagonist early on. Not a fan of books that describe every little thing in detail either. Like, I don’t need to know what exact clothes each character is wearing and a ton of details about the street they’re standing on. (This is usually a fantasy thing.)
Omg yes, like when it goes into very minute detail describing a river or something!?? I recently had this happen in an MG book and all I could think of “what 12 year old would care by this point?!” I would’ve been out of there.
So I was reading this post in class #procrastination, and somebody looked over my shoulder and simply read (aloud) 5. NAKED DUDE ON THE COVER. Context people! Suffice to say, yes, I share a lot of your points! I don’t actually mind a meandering first chapter or prologues, but I’m not a fan of #5. Actually, I don’t like poor covers in general. I once read an awkward version of Nights at the Circus (not the pretty one, the OTHER one) and was hiding the book wherever I went. In all, a fun post, Cait!
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Omgggg. 😂 I’M SO SORRY ah haha. But yes context is important for this post lmao. But honestly bad covers put me off entirely. I’m really into taking photos so I don’t see a point in buying a book I can’t/won’t photograph.😂
If a book is long I will definitely put it off because think of all the other books I could read in the same amount of time? Why read an 800 page monster when I could read three other books?
And yeah, shirtless guy is a nope.
Cora | http://www.teapartyprincess.co.uk/
Cora @ Tea Party Princess recently posted…Books On My Autumn 2018 TBR
OMG YES THAT’S ME TOO. Also somehow I could read two 300 page books in a day, but not a 600 page book. 😂
When it becomes apparent early on that the book is racist/homophobic/sexist/insert-bigotry-here af. With no relief. No remorse. Hateful stereotypes. That kind of thing.
(Examples from actual books I’ve read: confusing being gay with being a paedophile, throwing a Qu’ran across the room to pi** off terrorists, all Muslim characters in book are terrorists, woman in really dangerous situation injures herself by RUNNING INTO A TROLLEY when the coast was clear, pregnant woman added for added damsel-in-distress and no other character trait. Most of these are from the same book, I’m not gonna lie. Like, only the first one is from a separate book.)
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Oh yes. I mean all of those are definitely a given for me too…I was more going for random stuff here and hoping those were assumed! I just finished a book that was by a queer author and ABOUT queer characters but it was so homophobic…and it wasn’t really addressed at the end and I’m really disappointed.😭
I agree with so many of these (though I am a sucker for a prologue!) I am glad I am not alone in avoiding naked guy book covers, I also avoid books with love triangles, I cannot stand the tension! The whole “I am a girl but other girls are dumb.” or “I am not like other girls” makes my teeth itch!
*hi fives for our agreement here* 😂 I really think the world has enough unnecessary girl-on-girl hate in media. Like time to give us the friendships we all deserve and long for?!
Oh I hate it when they keep saying a character is smart, just smart overall, and yet does the stupidest things in the world. Makes me stabby.
Annemieke recently posted…TTT #156 – Books on My Fall 2018 TBR
Makes me VERY stabby. We can be stabby over this together.😂
First of all: HOW can a blogpost be so funny to read? Teach me your ways!
Aaand I guess I am not a very picky reader but I definitely have to agree with the naked dude thing. I mean, I get it. It is supposed to be sexy and catch my attention but honestly most of the time it just looks cringey to me sooo yeah, that`s not my thing. Also I usually hate it when books can be put into a very specific trope right from the beginning. Like you start to read and you know exactly what is going to happen because it is more or less just the plot of about ten other books with changed names and places.
Aww THIS IS THE MOST LOVELY THING TO READ.😭💛💛Thank you!! And ahh I’m so glad you agree! The naked-cover-dudes just make me feel cringey too and makes me want to hide to read them. And City of Bones wasn’t even like that?!? Not like super sexy and stuff ugh. I’m glad they rebranded!
Oh yes and when the cliches make them too predictable…*falls asleep while reading*
I think that’s the reason I have been DNFing much more lately than I used to. It’s just… You can just tell if it’s going to be good or not. You can just tell. And I believe if I’m 60% into the book, then I probably already know if it’s going to bore me / enrage me or not 😀
Haha naked dude on the cover definitely 😀 but that’s a good thing – it just lets you know what you’ll find inside, and you can politely walk to the other side of the street. Everyone’s happy! Ah, but agreed about if there’s no actual naked guys INSIDE. I believe if people buy it FOR the guy on the cover, they would be disappointed too xD
“For fans of” is kind of bad 😀 but there are words I hate more. If there’s “bestseller (that I’ve never heard of)” or “romp” or “steamy” in the blurb, then it’s a nope from me 😀
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I think it’s good that you just DNF them! Saves time and agony.😂 I gooootta learn how to do it omg. I just end up pushing through and finishing all mad and annoyed I’ve wasted time.😂I don’t learn.
And it’s always awkward when it’s blurbed by an author you haven’t heard of.😂Look whoooops.
That mushu gif is life itself.
But this is such a great list! I especially agree with you on the point about ‘naked guys’ on the cover because it questions the genre I’m thought I was about to read – is it going to be YA or erotic haha!
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Mushu is a complete gift to this universe.😂 And omg yes the naked dudes on the cover (well, partially naked😂) just have me thinking the book is going to be a steamy romance, which isn’t really my thing.😂
5 and 6… naked bods and ‘for fans of…! UGH! Those two are my biggest pains in the ass.
We are in definite agreement here then.😂
okay this was relatable and super revealing – never thought that I would have these signs but I’m noticing so much more now! Now I need to go sit in a corner and contemplate what else I can add to the list…
Aww thanks for reading! I’m glad you liked it!
HAHAHAHA YOU ARE HILARIOUS.
I LOVE YOUR POSTS.
“My parents would never lie to me!” Indication that we’re about to have 350 pages of parents lying about your werewolf/pixie/secret organisation family history. ”
^This cracked me up like crazzzyyyyyy!!
I’m so glad you enjoyed this! 😂
Oh yes! I need to meet and care about the protag RIGHT AWAY. So, yeah, we can’t start out looking around the town. I usually can’t get into an overly dramatic opening either, because I don’t care about the protag yet. SOMETHING SUPER BAD MIGHT HAPPEN TO A DUDE YOU’VE NEVER MET!!! is nowhere near as compelling as a minor setback happening to character I care about.
Also, if the book opens when the character wakes up, looks at themselves in their bedroom mirror and describes their characteristics,, I’m out.
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Yes totally! like it’s hard when a book starts with this wild action scene and I’m sitting there like: but i don’t even know the characters to care yet?! MAKE ME CARE. 😂 And yeah those mirror scenes are super cliche ugh.
I don’t generally have any signs that the book is going to be bad for me but the all I want is a boyfriend thing stands. Also books that seem to be based only on romance are a big no like give me some actual plOt rather than pining.
And mention the word orb and I’ve already thrown the book. Rest it really depends on the book 🙂