As a book blogger, it is our honour bound duty to fall wildly in love ALL THE TIME with…
…terrible decision making, delicious pastries, and the crippling weight of society.
It’s great. I know.
As a mangled hoard, we enjoy talking about falling in love with book people — but today I want to discuss the other things we book bloggers are in love with. Sometimes our relationship decision making is…not great. But we try! We are a passionate crowd! I named myself Paper Fury, after all, because I tend to have catastrophic explosions of thoughts and feelings. And also because I want people to point to the sky and shout “NIGHT FURY! GET DOWN!” whenever they see me. But you know. Whatever.
So let’s talk about LOVE. And ANGST. Hahah, it’s like I just wrote the same word twice.
I’m linking up with Top Ten Tuesday most illegally for their prompt “Top Ten Book Boyfriends/Girlfriends” which I’ve obviously tossed to the seven seas because I’m the lowest kind of person. Everyone is 500% done with me by this point. But this is OK!! I still love you anyway!!
(Imagine how fun I was to teach in school…
Schoolwork: “Complete this assignment.”
Me: “BUT WHAT IF I…DIDN’T?!????? COOL RIGHT??!?”)
Also NOTE: Obviously I’m going to say “book bloggers are…” and you might not be, so try not to let your delicate heart feel brutally stabbed. Because I’m just talking about me honestly. This whole blog = about me. WoW SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT.
1. WELL…WE WILL FIRSTLY ACKNOWLEDGE THE BOOK BOY/GIRLFRIENDS.
Because it’s a popular pastime to be in love with someone who doesn’t exist. I get that! However, I am about as romantic as Samwise with potatoes * so every time conversation drifts to book boyfriends/girlfriends, the following thoughts run through my head:
- But I ship the book person with their book person?
- OK wait I am a 23-year-old adult reading YA…
- That smol bean is literally 5 years younger than m–
- SOMEONE CALLLLLLL CHILD SERVICES.
- I don’t know, mate, all the attractive ones are somewhat assassins.
- Oh oh I like that one, that one is great and I have a fluttering o’ the heart and–
- …AND THEY’RE DEAD. OK. WOW.
Look I do like people. I like them in small doses, like 15 minutes once every 52 years. That seems reasonable and fair. But hey! We book bloggers DO enjoy our doomed romances because the other party isN’T AVAILABLE TO MEET YOU RIGHT NOW.
#AWKWARD #ROMANCE #SITUATIONS #IN #BOOKS #WE #LOVE
* Which is to say I boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew….IDK. Maybe I should not pursue a relationship.
2. WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE BOOK COVERS.
Everyone says “don’t judge a book by their cover” and this is a great practise…for literally everything except books. Look if I’m going to spend $20+ on a book and then it’s going to sit in my house on display FOR A LOT LONGER THAN I’LL SPEND READING IT — I want it to be heckin’ beautiful.
Also as a bookstagrammer, I basically get more shallow every year and demand gorgeous covers for my eyeballs to feast upon. My eyeballs are very hungry.
3. SAYING “YES!” AND “YES!” AND “YES!” UNTIL THE CRIPPLING WEIGHT OF EXPECTATIONS CRUSHES US FLAT.
Oh wow we love this so much. I mean, raise your hand if you struggle to know how much to take on when it comes to your blog. A book tour? A guest post? 577 review requests? Blogging event? Readathon? YES! WHY NOT!
I have yet to meet a blogger who hasn’t had, even at least just a small, freak out session over the sheer QUANTITY of stuff we’re supposed to achieve when in reality we’re just cHILDREN still wearing Harry Potter socks and getting overdue library fines.
Anyway this is a big love. Go us.
Who needs selfies when you’ve got SHELFIES, as they say! Or well they don’t say that, actually. In fact my mother says the opposite.
ACTUAL CONVERSATION IN MY HOUSEHOLD:
PARENT: I have no photos of you.
ME: but look at all these ones of my books!!!!
PARENT: *on ebay looking for a new child*
I don’t understand. But anyway.
Look there is absolutely N O T H I N G more attractive than a gorgeous shelf. Rainbow organised or by spine height, or floor-to-ceiling, or rimmed with ladders that you can jump on and they’ll scoot you majestically down the polished floors while your cape flutters behind you.
I could look at shelfie photos all day and fall into a pit of delirious love. MY EYES ARE HEARTS. Is this pain in my chest what true love feels like omg.
5. EXTREMELY TALENTED FAN ARTISTS.
I’m one of those really epic contributors to a fandom whose best asset is really…you know…breathing.
But some people out there are SO TALENTED and draw the most gorgeous designs that have my heart throbbing. Like, wow, art. Talent. Wow.
Also I get the shocking realisation that characters actually have faces. WHO KNEW. I don’t actually understand how I’m a writer because none of my characters ever have faces. And when books describe them like “She had high cheekbones and a button mouth” all I can think of is Coraline and everyone being stuffed with buttons. I have no imagination skills at all.
But I appreciate me for the things I can do!! Like…you know…breathing.
6. TRYING TO OUTWIT TIME.
Book bloggers are so in love with this. I think what’s most attractive about it is the undying belief that we are sPECIAL and can exist outside of time.
THINGS I DO BECAUSE I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR TIME APPARENTLY:
- try to read an entire novel in the 30mins before bed
- take on 65 books and try to read them all in that same 30mins before bed
- sit down to read for an hour in a 5 minute block of time
- try to write a whole post 12 minutes before it should go up when I know it takes me like 2+ hours to write a post
- collect enough books to last until 2099…EVERY SINGLE YEAR.
- attempt to sleep for 8 healthy hours at night in about 4 hours.
I’m sure it all makes sense. I’m sure it’ll work out. I have a lot of love for this point in particular AND I WILL NOT QUIT ON US!!!! ADVERSARY SHALL NOT STOP OUR RELATIONSHIP!!!
7. THAT FUNKY TBR
PILE MOUNTAIN OVER THERE.
As a community, I think we’ve collectively agreed it’s not really a pile anymore. But it is literally NOT OUR FAULT that publishers and authors keep presenting these gorgeous looking and sounding books. What are we supposed to do?!??? Ignore them??? Would you leave a cupcake out in the rain??? nO. It’s exactly the same thing.
So instead we collect books and lose sight of our floor and send high-pitched keening whines into the sunset.
8. PAINFUL BOOKS.
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a book is MUCH BETTER if it’s freaking painful. Bookworms like to feel. If a book, which is literally a dead tree that someone spilt ink over in pleasing patterns, can give us an emotional reaction…then that’s pretty darn magical.
Obviously it can give us a “happy” reaction too but hahha ha HAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA. No we want the pain.
This is probably because painful books make a lasting impact. And also because humans are heckin’ negative. It’s weird, but being stabbed in the heart does make a longer lasting impact than a particularly good pun. Surprise.
It can be argued that our love of painful books is not a healthy relationship. But yet. Leave me alone with my bleeding soul and Lord of Shadows * and All The Bright Places.
* IS IT TOO SOON??? I THINK IT’S TOO SOON.
9. WE ARE IN LOVE WITH BEAUTIFUL ORGANISATION.
This is absolutely the kind of unattainable love. SHE’S OUT OF YOUR LEGUE MATE. When you see that gorgeous Organisation sashaying down the hall and all you can think of is: my true love and all I ever want. Just know that the answer is:
I am actually really intensely organised in a not-organised way. For instance, I schedule my posts but…I have no idea what I’m going to say like 2 minutes before I’m writing it. What’s happening on Paper Fury next month? NOBODY KNOWS. NOT EVEN PAPER FURY. The apocalypse hopefully though.
And yet….organisation is still so beautiful.
Planners and journals. People with posts scheduled all month. Book bloggers who actually review their ARCs before release date. Stationery! Lists! Ahhhh!
* Except for yesterday when I messed up FIRST TIME ALL YEAR because I moved inter-state and we don’t have Daylight Savings here?? But we did in the old state??? AWKWARD. I changed my clock but damaged had been done. Funeral is held for my hopes and dreams at 3:30pm on Wednesday. Please bring a plate to share.
10. STATS…EVEN IF IT’S JUST A LITTLE SMIDGEY SMIDGE BIT.
Not all bloggers care about stats! This is great! Lovely even!
But we do care about them (not I don’t obsess…hopefully) because otherwise what’s really the point of blogging and shouting into the void, hmm? So anyway. Here I confess I care about stats. Mostly because I’m raising an army here and planning for you to all buy a copy of my book (IF I EVER EVENTUALLY GET PUBLISHED) I’ll be a NYT bestseller immediately. That’s all you’re here for.
HAHA JUST KIDDING. I love you for your humour and friendships and [checks smudge writing on hand] and your personalities and the interesting perspectives you bring to the conversation. You = special. Please stay. *
But hey. I like stats! I’m not ashamed. I work hard here! I like nice numbers. I like figuring out what entertains you and what entertains just me…and honestly the amount these two coincide is probably a concern. ** I like growing my blog because I can’t grow my human bones. They stuck at 5’1. ***
Anyway, I still love you as a person, not a number. But I’d probably love you more if you were a dragon. Just…if you want to act on that, is all I’m saying.
* No seriously. Come back. I…I have cakes! I will give you cakes if you come back! STAY DON’T LEAVE ME HERE ALON–
** R U OK????
*** My parents legit aren’t even tHAT SHORT. Although I suspect that I’ve never had deep REM sleep in my life (HIIIIII THE AMOUNT OF ALL CAPS IN A POST DIRECTLY RELATES TO LACK OF SLEEP) and therefore I didn’t grow enough as a child. Or eat my vegetables. I sabotaged myself. I’m sorry, me.
tell me some other things book bloggers are in love with! (or bookworms if you are not a blog.) do you relate to any of my unattainable OTPs here? do you have book boy/girlfriends? do you care about stats? and are painful books better than happy books?
(And link me to your TTT posts if you want so I can stop by!)