Bookworms are precious delicate little creatures.
And you should honestly treat them very carefully and nicely, because they’ve been traumatised enough by paperbacks. The internet is rather full to bursting with handy lists of things you shouldn’t tell your resident bookworm creature to avoid giving them a psychotic breakdown. So what can you say to bookworms??? What are the appropriate sentences to speak?? What phrases have been ORDAINED BY THE GREATER POWERS * as worthy to be spoken in the presence of a bookworm?????
LUCKY FOR YOU, I AM HERE TO TELL YOU ALL.
Here is a list of things you should regularly tell your resident bookworm. ** Probably every day. Maybe twice. Go for it.
* This is me, by the way.
** FYI I wrote a list of things you should regularly tell writers too, in case you have a known writer creature in your acquaintance and need a guide on how to speak to them too.
“I SEE YOU’VE RUN OUT OF BOOKSHELF SPACE SO INSTEAD OF SELLING BOOKS, WHY DON’T I GIVE UP MY ROOM FOR YOU TO KEEP BOOKS IN IT.”
Because heaven forbid we put with any of this “just get rid of books and that’ll give you more space” nonsense. DOWN TO THE DARK VOID WITH THAT. Instead, people should be so much more reasonable and just give us the shelf space we deserve. I mean, why can’t you live in a cardboard box out in the rain while we use your room for more bookshelves????? Obviously this is the solution.
“I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU BUT I SEE YOU’RE READING, SO I WILL SAY NOTHING.”
Two things happen if you interrupt a bookworm who’s reading. Either (1) you witness the bookworm carefully lay down their book and then START SCREAMING LIKE AN ARMADILLO THAT JUST STEPPED ON A LEGO, or (2) Armageddon gets moved forward.
Just walk away, mate, just walk away.
“I WILL DIG YOU OUT FROM UNDER YOUR GINORMOUS TBR IF IT FALLS ON YOUR HEAD.”
This is like the truest sign of friendship. Oh be still my beating heart! I’m having an emotion! * If you TRULY love a bookworm, this will be your pledge to their welfare.
Just, um, beware you’ll probably be offering this dig-you-out-of-your-self-inflicted-book-grave at least twice a week. Maybe more.
No, shhh. It’s not hoarding. It’s book adoption.
* Which is highly irregular for me. I mean, I do have emotions. On a schedule. Sometimes on Tuesdays, from 7pm to 8pm I might allow an emotion or too. Often on Sundays too, after work hours. No one can say I am a coldhearted fridge.
“I DON’T MIND THAT THERE’S NO EVIDENCE OF OUR FRIENDSHIP ON YOUR PHONE BECAUSE YOUR CAMERA ROLL IS FULL OF SHELFIES.”
Look, my iPod is very clear that I have low storage spaces, so what am I going to do??? OBVIOUSLY DELETE NEEDLESS PHOTOS. And that would be people’s faces. I mean, why? Why would we want photos of people / events on our phone when we could have PHOTOS OF GLORIOUS BOOKS??
Actual Representation Of Bookworm Camera Roll Preferences:
Person 1: Look at this photo of my cute kid!
Person 2: Look at this photo of my cute dog!
Person 3: Look at this photo of my cute food!
Bookworm: LOOK AT THIS PHOTO OF MY BOOKSHELF LOOK HOW IT’S GROWN OMG THE DARLING IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
“YOU READ SO MUCH, ERGO YOU ARE SUPER SMART.”
Reading makes you smarter. This is actual truth. Forget that we’ve stayed up till 3am sobbing over a fictional character’s death. WE’RE STILL SUPER SMART. NO DENY.
Proof That Books Make You Smarter:
- you become more empathetic
- you learn about other countries, opinions, and cultures
- you learn handy skills like how to build a cathedral or kill a man with spaghetti
- you develop your vocabulary
- you learn how to fit 87 books in a space where only 4 should really go
- you learn how to spell complicated authors’ names
- you develop math skills from working out if you can survive on 9 tins of tuna for a month while you make a nice book order
- you become adept at first aid because paper cuts
- you gain knowledge on so many topics
- like where to bury a body
- you become a dragon which is, honestly, super clever
“LET ME BUY YOU A BOOK. OR TWO. OR NINE. OR AN ENTIRE ISLAND FULL OF BOOKS.”
Some non-bookworms have this mistaken idea that they shouldn’t buy us books for Christmases/birthdays/events because we have “too many already”. BAH HUMBUG, YOU UNDERCOOKED TURNIP. There is no such thing. Plus do you know how easily that can send a bookworm into mental breakdown mode? Very easily. And you don’t want that. It’s messy.
So just buy bookworms books. ALL THE TIME. When in doubt = buy a book.
Or show us you really care and go for the whole island that is actually a secret library with WiFi and no people for 700 kilometres so we can read in peace. *
* Although truthfully this’ll only work for introvert bookworms, so check your resident bookworm’s energy type before you acquire the island. It might need to be only 70 miles from civilisation. Or in the opposite case of the Extreme Introvert Bookworm — the island would be best in another galaxy. Location location location, peoples.
“I’M READING THAT BOOK YOU RECOMMENDED.”
Hands down, this is the BEST compliment ever. And if you ever say this to a bookworm and they spontaneously burst into evil cackling laughter — then rest assured the book you’re consuming is about to slay you in the feels.
And you’re welcome already.
“I WILL HAPPILY LISTEN TO YOU TALK ABOUT A BOOK FOR 62 HOURS STRAIGHT WHILE I MAKE US COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SNACKS AND DON’T ANNOYINGLY INTERRUPT YOU.”
This is one of the most beautiful sentences in human history. Seriously. Go look up Shakespeare who quoted this in 17th century and nations bowed before the brilliance of this line. * And while you’re fact-checking how Shakespeare said this, go make your resident bookworm a snack.
Cake is good.
Or chocolate covered pretzels.
Or I’m not saying no to Turkish Delight for the aesthetic of literary food. **
* Sometimes I don’t even know how I think up the things that I say on this blog. It’s incredible honestly how great I am at lying making stuff up.
** All the cool kids under white witchs’ powers are eating it these days.
“HERE LET ME JUST ACCIDENTALLY ABANDON YOU IN A BOOKSTORE OVERNIGHT SO YOU GET LOCKED INSIDE.”
If this isn’t the bookworm dream I don’t know what is. * I can see no downside to this plan, actually, except maybe you becoming really attached to living in the bookstore and becoming sort of The Phantom of the Bookstore and haunting people and spontaneously singing opera in the storage room while you flit around reading books in the darkness and then accidentally throwing a chandelier at people. That could be awkward. Try to avoid going that far. **
* Well, an alternative bookworm dream is finding out you have a very rich dead relative in Europe who’s just left you a castle with floor to ceiling bookshelves with spinny ladders. Because, GUYS, I WANT A CASTLE.
** But seriously: LOOK, MUM, I FOUND A NEW CAREER PLAN.
“I HAVE JUST MADE YOU A SNACK THAT IS A CAKE SHAPED LIKE A BOOK BECAUSE YOU ARE A MAGNANIMOUS BOOK DRAGON AND I RESPECT THAT. SO NOW YOU CAN EAT YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE.”
This is the #2 reason * I want to become an author, actually — so I can make a cake with my book cover on it and then eat it and feel vaguely satisfied that I have BUILT and DESTROYED. But that aside I think it would simply MAKE A BOOKWORM’S DAY to be given a cupcake that also looks like a book. If you want an instant friend, this is how to do it.
And honestly just think of all the struggles bookworms go through everyday. Like realising their BFF is not only fictional BUT ALSO DEAD and surviving mid-series book cover changes and also putting up with malicious attacks from their neglected TBRs. We deserve cake. **
* The #1 reason I want to be an author is obviously because I want reading exciting stabbtastic books to be considered “research” and therefore “crucial to my work process”. And also because pyjamas are the writer’s uniform.
** How much did I mention food in this post??? Did I mention food as much as I mentioned books? NOTE TO SELF: do not try to write up posts before dinner.
Now that you know how to properly speak to we bookworms, go forth! Use your knowledge!
Bless the world with your thoughtful comments. I 100% guarantee your resident bookworms will like something from this list. Likely they’ll be most fond of the one where you buy them lots of books. Just a wild guess.
Remember! Always speak PROPERLY AND RESPECTFULLY to your resident bookworm and don’t risk phrases like “reading that much will damage your brain” unless you want to die. Because we’ve read a book on how to get away with murder.
#9! Literally my favourite thing ever when I worked in a bookstore was extra hours after closing time dedicated to ORGANISING BEAUTIFUL BOOKS (and also decorating window displays because #aesthetic). Nothing beats being in a bookstore with no peoples. Also being alone in the bookstore means all you can smell is wonderful BOOK GOODNESS. 😀
Spectacular post, as usual, darling.
Astrid
http://www.astridkaniele.com/
Astrid Kaniele recently posted…All My Favourites in 2016
Oohhhhhh that sounds like absolutely the BEST JOB EVER. #goals And yessss, smelling books with no judgement is obviously the best thing.
N’aww, you’re so so kind, Astrid! THANK YOU. I’m so glad you liked it!
Who is judging you for sniffing books? Reference “how to get away with murder” chapters in books for whoever judges you.
As a bookworm I can say that if anyone said any of these things to be I would be endlessly pleased. Especially the buying me books, that sounds good! Also I agree, being told to get rid of book is the worst, like no, these are all my children, even if I didn’t enjoy them xD
SAME. I think we should print up pamphlets and hand them out to all the people in our lives so they know how to speak to us. :’) I’d love someone to buy me an island of books I’M JUST SAYIN’.
A personal favourite of mine is ‘would you like to read my copy of Crooked Kingdom when you visit me next week?” which is an actual thing that has happened to me. Or “I get that you really like books. Why don’t you just stay in the bookstore and I’ll do the shopping for you”. I love the overnight in a bookshop one. When my mum was in university she once snuck into the library and stayed there all night just for fun #goals. A nasty papercut is worse, because if you get interrupted, at least you can scream at them to read the book.
Shanti recently posted…End of Year Book Survey 2016
Well blessings on whoever is bringing Crooked Kingdom into your life because ISN’T THAT DELIGHTFUL?!? Now all they need to do is bake you snacks while you’re reading. :’) Also your mum definitely has the best goals right there. And it would seem book obsession runs in your family then? THAT IS PARTICULARLY AWESOME.
This amuses me so much, Cait. So much cake!
ALL THE CAKE. Cake is life. :’)
This is literally a heaven made for bookworms. If anyone said anything from your list I’d be like “Yes, thank you. Now you finally get me and we can be friends for life”. When my grandma comes visit us, she always says I should sell some of the books because I have too many. But like, I bought most of them with my own money, why would I be selling them? I mean, the room would be empty then and it’ll be scary. Who would watch over me when I sleep and save me if some moster decides to come visit me? Who would comfort me when I’m feeling down better than a book? Why don’t they understand that?! 😀 I guess I’d add this sentence which I’d be glad to hear from my parents: “Wow, five books in your cart? Why don’t you add two more? Here, I’ll give you money for them.” Lovely and extremely funny post as usual. 🙂
Simona recently posted…Myths about bookworms
We should print out pamphlets to give to non-bookworms so they can be educated and know how to speak to us. :’) IT IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA. And omg being told to “sell books because you have too many” is actually the phrase of nightmares. SOMEONE COMFORT US FROM THAT TERROR.
(And yes I would love to hear my parents say that too.😂)
I think I’m going to pop your blog onto my weekly blog catch-up list, just because it makes my days better to read your posts!
Also, I did publish a book last year, so if someone could bake me that cake you mentioned now, that’d be real awesome.
What I hate is when someone INTERRUPTS me while I’m READING A BOOK and then I LOSE THE PAGE/WHERE I WAS ON THE PAGE and then they don’t even care. But then that person who STUPIDLY interrupted me gets said book thrown at their face because they are a disrespectful little cockroach, so I guess it’s a fair game.
Some of my favourite things I wish people said more to me are:
“You can stay up reading if you’d like” and “here’s some money to go to the bookshop” and “if you don’t want to participate in this family gathering/social event, feel free to go read instead” 🙂
Simi
“you develop math skills from working out if you can survive on 9 tins of tuna for a month while you make a nice book order” this is all too real. Before I buy books I think to myself what I’ll have to give up in order to have ALL OF THE BEAUTIFUL BOOKS BECAUSE WHAT IS ACTUAL HEALTHY FOOD IN THE FACE OF BOOKS??? Books will always come first
Laura @ Beautiful Books recently posted…New and Shiny Books from New and Shiny Authors | Top Ten Tuesday
I need to make my sister read this. Because I FINALLY got the hammer of thor from the libraray, and I just got to the part with the wedding, the sword, Loki, the strangled snake, you know what I’m talking about. Then I had to GO TO BED WITHOUT FINISHING IT. how cruel, dad, how cruel. basicaly, I was getting laundry off my bed, (so I could sleep, wake up, read) and I was ranting and howeling over the book and my sister got anoyed and said the worst thing EVER.
‘just calm down, will ya? It’s just a book.’
It’s just a book? IT’S JUST A BOOK??!!!! then a smacked her with a pair of leggings, threatened to read the hunger games to her, and went to tell mom. she’s a book nerd. she understands. XD
Most crazily, ~Olive
p.s. It’s 7:00, I will read now.
Olive recently posted…A Christmas of surprises~part 2
“I don’t read very often, but I’d like to read more, and since you are such a book dragon I was hoping you would grace me with a some recommendations?” ~aka something I wish people would ask me
Okay but getting a papercut is WORSE bc it hurts so much and it takes a long time to heal, and you have to go clean I and get a band aid, whereas it’s very easy and quick to incinerate the person who interrupted your reading.
Mironiel Blokzyl recently posted…Mini Review || In which I review two books I loved
YES to “I’m reading that book you recommended” and “I’ll listen to you talk about the book.” Both of those are music to my ears (and reasons I love my roomie, because she and I both say those words (implicitly, at least) fairly often. Particularly the second one. Also- new life goal: accidentally get locked in a bookstore. That would be the one thing that would convince me to pull an all-nighter. I wonder if I could get my roomie to join me in that . . .
Regarding paper cuts vs. interruptions: paper cuts are definitely worse. They hurt, and you have to go do something about them or else you’ll bleed all over your book. I actually don’t mind interruptions too much . . . well, sometimes I do; it depends who’s doing the interrupting and why. For example, if you’re interrupting me to say “Hey, Sarah, it’s dinnertime,” or “Hey, Sarah, what are you reading? Would you like to fangirl about it to me?” or even “Hey, Sarah, I found a Firefly/LOTR/Merlin/Hamilton/other-fandom-I-love meme and you need to see it” (or, on a less fun note, “Hey, Sarah, we need to get going or we’re going to be late,” though usually I’m the one saying that to other people, or “Hey, Sarah, I need to talk about my day ’cause stuff happened and I need to share it with someone”) is totally cool. Paper cuts are not.
Have we nominated “voice of our people” yet? *checks off your name on the ballot* (Cake for everyone…Huzzah!)
Now the question comes down to how do 2 or more bookworms combine their friendship and collection and the like? Sure I can kick my non-wormy friend into a cardboard box and take over their house no problem…. but if their house is equally filled with bookish things then where do we go to being Mission: takeover the non worms space?
PS. “Oh the cleverness of me” a++ GIF use 🙂
If someone said these yo me I would be over-the-moon with joy.
Leading others to read the books you love is always so fantastic! Nothing makes me happier than fangirling and going in depth with books/series I love, especially when I’m the one that got them obsessed with it in the first place. I demand that I drag everyone down with me!
If someone came up to me and asked me if I wanted them to buy me all the books, I’d probably go into shock. Then ask Barnes & Noble if it was wrong for me to grab a copy of every book from their YA section. And then just go ahead and do it anyway because ALL THE BOOKS!
I hate getting interrupted while reading! It’s gotten to the point where I’ll just flash people the cover when people ask me what I’m reading to just completely avoid talking. XD
Yes!! We need people to tell us all these things. I hope people will follow your advice Cait. And about phone being full of shelfies instead of selfies- thats me!
Resh Susan @ The Book Satchel recently posted…Book Review : The Secret Orchard of Roger Ackerley by Diana Petre
Oh my word, this post!!!! I would LOVE to have a cake shaped like a book!!! It would be the ultimate treat, especially if it was chocolate.
With chocolate chips because yum.
Also, getting abandoned and locked inside a bookstore would be my absolute dream come true. Or a library. Basically just anywhere with books piled up to the ceiling. Seriously, I would have a field-day if I could get trapped inside a bookstore overnight and get to act like the phantom of Barnes and Noble.
AND OH MY GOODNESS AN ENIRE ISLAND FILLED WITH BOOKS?????? I would die. I would literally keel over and die… It would be like Heaven. On an island.
Oh. And paper cuts are totally better, because at least you can keep reading without having to pretend like you can’t hear the other person talking.
Kenzie recently posted…I Am No Longer A Writer.
Number two was my favorite!!!
UNTIL I READ SEVEN, EIGHT, AND NINE.
I mean, rthey were all hilarious but I can just RELATE to those ones. People interrupting me whilst I read books???? NOOOOOOO! DO NOT DISTURB! YOU WOULDNT DO THIS IF I WERE DOING ANY OTHER ACTIVITY (like seriously, no one interrupts me when I’m sleeping, talking to humans, or exercising SO WHY IS IT ACCEPTABLE TO INTERUPT ME WHEN IM READING, HUH???)
Also I would melt into a puddle of happiness should anyone ever actually read the book I tried to shove forcibly dfown their throat fifteen times.
And I am ALWAYS trying tell other humans about the books and they’re like “uh-huh” with a bored expression and I’m like “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU EVIL BLOCK OF WOOD???”
Lastly, your timing is rather impeccable as I’m currently obsessed with Phantom of the Opera (so I finally GOT the joke, huzzah!). Also we talked about this in comments once before??? You said in your post that you’d like to be the Queen of the Library and I was like “meh, I’d rather be the Phantom thereof” so you mentioning it made me smile. 🙂
Kate Marie recently posted…2016 Character Awards!
Hahaha! So true though.
I need all these things.But I want a BOOK CASTLE probably one already filled with books <3 <3 And I need to get locked in a bookstore ."need" being the key word since my country has no bookstores or libraries,literally.So I might never get to experience that 🙁
*sobs*
I love your new flowery headers! Not that I didn’t like the old ones but- nevermind!
#10 speaks to me because for my birthday, my friend made 30 cupcakes, each with a different book cover on it. Let’s just say I was a VERY HAPPY BOOK DRAGON.
Ha! I wish I was reading a book, and then someone randomly showed up with a book-shaped cake. That would be the best day ever!
Aj @ Read All The Things! recently posted…The “Based On Your Recommendations” Book Haul
Being interrupted while reading is THE WORST. Because this regularly happens in my house (and really, it is a true wonder I ever finish a single book). Papercuts are arghh, but I can make it.
Cait, thank you again, SO MUCH, for all the laughter you bring to my life. 😀
Bless this post. Is there a way for you to subtly email this to my husband? 😉
I had a friend who got locked in the University library after-hours. She called the police to let her out. This was the wrong move, IMHO. She should have acknowledged the blessing that had been bestowed upon her and romped through the stacks all night long.
Super Starling! recently posted…5 Dreadful Decorating Choices In This Cabin
LOL, I love all these, but especially the island-happily listening for 62 hours. Though I might need longer depending on the book. Also, BOOK-SHAPED CAKE. That would be wicked.
I would probably rather get interrupted during reading. :p I mean, I can get back to reading eventually and, on the bright side, it’s a chance to use my ridiculous amount of gorgeous bookmarks. But if I get a papercut, that’s gonna hurt for days.
Alexa
thessalexa.blogspot.com
verbosityreviews.com
Alexa recently posted…Summer Snowflakes BLOGOVERSARY #3
Well, of course I’d hate being interrupted while reading, but getting a nasty paper cut is horrible also. AAAAAAAAAHHH! I can’t decide!!!
I’m reading the book you recommended is the best ever. Even more so when they come back and tell you they loved it. I had someone tell me that the book I recommended to them was the first 5 star read they’d had in 15 months. FIFTEEN MONTHS. I felt like I had won some lifetime achievement award.
Bonnie @ For the Love of Words recently posted…Recommended Reading 101: Outer Space
This post genuinely made me so happy. I now have a list of demands for all of my friends if they want to continue to have the privilege of my company. #1 being: Let me buy you a book from [favorite] bookstore, and then I will proceed to hide you behind stacks of books in said bookstore so that “accidentally” get left behind overnight.
And if my “friends” won’t do that, they don’t deserve me.
Question: I know the future is a terrifying void of swirly-twirly gumdrops, but I am a very curious little hedgehog, and I must know everything. What is your plan/goal with the millions of books you have written? Do you plan to publish someday?
I wish the people I know would regularly tell me these things! 🙂
I would especially appreciate if my colleagues would tell me (silently, in their heads, preferably!) “I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU BUT I SEE YOU’RE READING, SO I WILL SAY NOTHING”, because they all seem to insist on trying to talk to me when I’m reading in the staffroom! It’s like ‘I’m on my break, why can’t you be silent and let me read?!’
Laura recently posted…Mini Reviews: The Boleyn Deceit and The Boleyn Reckoning by Laura Andersen
“I HAVE JUST MADE YOU A SNACK THAT IS A CAKE SHAPED LIKE A BOOK”
I have just made a friend-shaped space in my heart
“I will stop talking”
Oh, if only more people would say this! It is so annoying when people keep talking, without realizing I don’t understand a word they are saying when I’m reading a book.
“I will buy you all the books”
YES, my precious.
“I will listen to you”
My boyfriend is willing to listen to me rant/fangirl for a few minutes, but after some time I always notice I’m losing him, haha. His eyes get a bit glassy and he is trying so hard to understand :’) it’s cute, but that’s the moment I realize I need to take it online, hehe.
Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…7th Annual End Of Year Survey | 2016. Part 1.
“I see that you’re reading. Let me cook dinner for you.”
“Look, there’s a bookstore, let’s go into the bookstore.”
“I saw these ______ (bookish item) and thought you MUST have them. So I bought them for you.”
“You need a bookmark with that?”
Quote a line from a book I love in conversation.
And so many more…..I’m very easily satisfied….
ALL OF THESE. SO MUCH YES.
“I’m reading that book you recommended,” honestly has to be the best thing a person can ever say tbh. It’s such a proud moment knowing you’ve talked about something so much that the other person literally had no choice but to read a book so they would have an inkling of what you were talking about. xD
I feel like it should become a universal thing where if people see you’re reading/you tell them you’re engrossed in a really good book, then they’ll just go ahead and dismiss you from all life duties/work/school. Because, I mean, do you know how much reading I could get done then??? And nobody would be mad at me??? WHY ISN’T THIS A UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THING YET, CAIT. *sobs*
And getting interrupted is definitely worse than papercuts. Papercuts are at least partially ignorable? At least, more so than some person hovering over you trying to get your attention while you’re reading. xD
adaline @ not gary cooper recently posted…|| 2016 Book Reading Survey ||
#1 all the way. ALL. THE. WAY.
when in doubt = buy a book 😀
“I am reading that book you recommanded” gives the warmest feeling ever.
AND THIS IS SO TRUE! *claps and bows down* Queen Cait has done it again with an awesome post that could not be more #relatable!
Hahahahah made me laugh so much. I’ll just send this to my mom do she can try to understand my crazy obsessions for book. 😀
Haha, this is what I wish everyone said to me! Bookstores are the most glorious thing ever, I would LOVE to be locked in one. And like, NO, I DON’T want to sell my books, thank you very much. That would be like selling my arm, but with less blood and more screaming.
And it’s absolutely phenomenal whenever someone decides to get me books (voluntarily, it’s not like I threaten them or anything..)
Julianna @ Blots of Ink and Words recently posted…Goals and Hopes for 2017
Book cakes! Yes! To this wonderful list, I will add, “I’ll go ahead and make dinner for both of us so you can finish that book!” And since we’re dreaming, I’ll just add, “And after you finish it, can I borrow it so I can read it and we can talk about it?” 😋
YES YES YES! These are things I’d like to hear EVERYDAY!!! (and on a completely different note, I see you’ve changed your dividers! Blue flowers are gorgeous!) Yes anyone who offers to buy me books becomes my BFF! Immediately.. Anyone who can dig me out of my TBR is a gem!! Also I’d love it if someone would say “I’ll help you take your ever crazy bookstagram pictures and also make sure you don’t lose your sanity in the process” And yes!! I need people to prepare me food ( Cakes, muffins, pasta and chicken wings) when I’m reading because of course reading books with feels takes it toll on our heart and we need food to keep us going! And yes, don’t interrupt me while am reading! ever!! If one wants to keep their limbs attached to their body they must not disturb me while reading! Not even disturb the air around me!!
Awesome post Cait <3
We should also be given regular offerings of chocolate…so our sanity is kept in check.
Kara @ Diary of a Teen Writer recently posted…Some BIG Blog Changes + What I’m Currently Working On
Followed you on Bloglovin because I think we are actually best friends that just haven’t met yet.
“It’s okay that you can’t hear me over the sound of BOOKS!” — my wife, which is pretty much why we’re married.
Nikki @ The Bibliophibian recently posted…Review – How To Clone a Mammoth
I definitely need someone to offer giving up a room for my overflowing bookshelves. And if someone could offer to keep buying me new books that would be really nice as I’m beginning to restrain my book spending so I can afford other things… like food and a roof over my head. I should subtly leave a print out of this around the house for others to stumble upon. maybe they’ll get the hint.
Becky @ A Fool’s Ingenuity recently posted…Sunday Summary // 08.01.2017
Per usual, you have me cracking up over here! Love your posts…and so accurate!!!
I love this post! And the worst attitude ever is when people are like “just bin some books for more space” like ??? no ????? I NEED all 600 of these books thank you very much. And yes, shelfies for the win!
Amy;
Little Moon Elephant
Your posts are always so hilarious!
Totally with you on the ‘I’m Reading that Book you Recommended.’ The greatest six words a bookworm can hear. 🙂
Love this post! XD
Rain @ Ivyclad Ideas recently posted…5 Things I learnt About Blogging in 2016
Omg I need to share this post with the family!! They keep “joking” about my turning my brother’s room into a library AND I SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS. One more joke and his room is mine 😉😇 also YOU SHOULD WRITE THE PHANTOM OF THE BOOKSTORE. But with dragons. And a cafe in the bookstore so there’s always cake. And penguins because they’re cute 😂😂
Bwhahha this is GREAT. Especially the recommendation thing, that IS the highest compliment EVER. And also buying me an island of books, who would turn that down, ever? Like, I am legit trying to decide what portion of my tax return shall be devoted to bookish things.
ALSO, true story, my family asks for pictures of my kids and I am like “well, I don’t have any, but look at the #bookstagram I just posted!” (I DO have them on my real camera, for I am not a *total* monster of a parent, but on my phone? Weeeelllll….) And my cat? SHe hasn’t had a photo taken in years. Because BOOKS. I also need to meet these people who will let me talk about books for hours AND bring me snacks. Seriously, can we maybe have some kind of match-up site for bookpeople and people who wish to do these things? You should probably start that up.
Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight recently posted…Review: The Last Harvest by Kim Liggett
I think it goes without saying that I 78972% agree with ALL OF THESE. Also I have mentioned this before but it would be so great for someone to feed me while I read so I never have to stop looking at the page??? #goals. UM and I think you forgot to say ‘Let me lock you in a bookstore WITH INEXHAUSTIBLE FUNDS. Crucial part there, Cait. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS SERIOUSLY ON POINT.
Esther @ Queen of Fantasy recently posted…2017 #goals / Bookish and Otherwise
Cait… I am reading that book[s] you recommended. First Scorpio Races, then the Raven Cycle, then Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom, and next up This Savage Song. I am taking your tutelage very seriously. AND YES THANK YOU FOR DESTROYING MY FEELS IN CROOKED KINGDOM I AM STILL IN THE SHOCK OF IT BUT NO NEED TO CALL A MEDIK I AM FINE JUST HAD MY HEART TORN OUT AND TRAMPLED. I literally finished it like 15 minutes ago and cannot get over (********)’s dreath. I MEAN WHHYYYY!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [distant incoherent sobbing and wails]
Actual Event That Happened This Evening:
Me: *peacefully reading Crooked Kingdom and forgetting to breathe as I watch THREE DIFFERENT SETS OF CHARACTERS’ lives hang in the balance. I must know. Just a little further*
Sister: DINNERTIME! KAT WILL YOU JUST COME ON EVERYONE’S WAITING ON YOU. [slightly exaggerated but the implication was clear]
Me: *tries to close book. It simply won’t. I cannot. I am too weak*
Me: [in a panicked wail] JUST LET ME GET TO THE END OF THE PART. It’s TWO FREAKING PAGES away!
Sister: *backs slowly away, nodding placatingly*
True story. This is proof of the truth of #2’s dire consequences. I have found my inner dragon queen when poked with sharp interrupting words while upon my hoard of bookish treasure. DO NOT MESS WITH ME WHILE I AM READING. (Note: I fully expect this to appear on tee shirts soon. I am sure it is true of many of the bookworm tribe) I WILL EAT YOU FOR MY SNACK AND LEAVE YOUR BLOOD SPILLED ON THE LIBRARY BOOK PAGES.
Hi, Cait!
Oooooh, let me tell you being alone in a bookstore is indeed as magical as you can imagine it. I used to work in one and had to start at 6 am when nobody was there, it was still dark outside and I would only turn on the light in the basement where I unboxed the new books. You could almost hear them wisper to one another. The older books telling the children’s books bedtime stories, the thrillers arguing about who has the better twist or the most gruesome murders. The romance novels giggeling and YA novels looking for a girl for the dude that doesn’t get the girl on their pages. That aside, one of my colleagues brought me a cream cheese muffin every tuesday. Yup, bookstores are pretty magical. 🙂
Things you should tell your resident bookworm? Tell them that they are the prettiest and most precious bookworm around. That they are smarter than any other person you know and that they should read more. Really read more. 😀
LG, m
I’ll be printing out this list for my husband! I always enjoy your posts; thanks for the fun read!
Leslie @ Leslie’s Bookcase recently posted…2016 Roundup: Favorite books and most popular posts
YES!! I have one
“I will totally return the book I borrowed from you on time and in the impeccable condition that it was in when you lent it to me.”
I hate receiving a book back from someone with the SLIGHTEST smudge and when they never return it back like omg that is a child you basically kidnapped
I’m glad that reading also helped me with a million places to hide bodies, but I’m still waiting to officially become a dragon like you, Cait XD
“I’m reading that book you recommended me” is great to hear, *but* “I LOVED THE BOOK YOU RECOMMENDED AND I DID NOT SLEEP AND BINGED THE ENTIRE SERIES AND BOUGHT ALL THE AUTHOR’S BOOKS AND NOW I AM OBSESSED AND MY LIFE IS OVER” is honestly the most heart-warming thing a gal can ever hope to hear 🙂
Amazing post, as always!
Brittany @ Brittany’s Book Rambles
Selling books is never an option, true. Just no, no, no. Take my book recs, facilitate my addiction, let me have all the books, praise my intellect…MARRY ME, and then leave so I can read. 😛
Elisabeth Wheatley recently posted…BEAUTIFUL BOOKS ~ 2017 Writing Goals
Very nice…though for me at least, most of these would be tongue in cheek. However, YES….very little is as gratifying as a non-bookworm taking my advice to read a book I’ve recommended.
Ooh, yes, I agree with this entire post! But esp. #7 and #8! 🙂 And I think getting a papercut is worse than getting interrupted while reading, because if you get a papercut while you’re reading the book, then you’ve basically just interrupted yourself! At least if someone else interrupts you, there isn’t any physical pain involved!
Cait — YOU NAILED IT!!! I laughed so hard reading parts of this post. #I loved the “you read so much, ergo you are super smart,” and the comment about knowing where to bury the body. If people could hear some of the things that librarians think in their heads some days, they would be very frightened to enter the library. Lol. And if I ever get locked overnight in the bookstore, the staff needn’t bother coming back in the next day because the locks will all be changed and they will not be able to get into their systems. It’s their own fault, because it now belongs to me. Great and fun post!! Have a wonderful week!
YES YES YES TO THIS POST. One thing I would like to hear is ‘I think you’re such a cool rebel who reads past her bedtime adeptly without letting any light sneak out under the blankets PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO BE LIKE YOU’ (as opposed to ‘your eyes will die if you try to read in the dark’ UGH). Us bookworms are so smart! (aside from those odd bad life choices) Honestly bookworms are actually the best. (And I want that cake) (But not an island, maybe just a nice cave nearby civilisation, a fully furnished one obvs). I don’t get too bothered by interruptions, but neither do I get many paper cuts, so now I’m really really undecided. I think paper cuts are worse tbh but my books (and ereader) love me and would never do that. Also why don’t people buy bookworms books? They think we need phones/pens/toothbrushes/underwear/lollies? THEIR LACK OF READING IS EVIDENT IN THEiR SILLY CHOICES.
shar@Virtually Read recently posted…The Knife of Never Letting Go.
YES to all of these! Ahh it must be every bookworm’s dream to have a library where there is *endless* space for all the books we end up hoarding. Definitely a necessity! Thanks for sharing a fabulous post as always Cait 🙂
Okay I DEFINITELY need my sister to give up her room, so that it can be part-storage, part-studio for Bookstagram photos 😀 It’s only fair, right? And golly, I wish someone would lock me in a bookstore overnight.
I seriously need to send this to my boyfriend, bring on alllll the bookworm compliments
Sammi recently posted…Book Review – Full Dark, No Stars – Stephen King
Parents should say “I will reward you with 20 euro book token every time you wash the dishes” because that’s when you’re speaking my language!
i’d love to hear the sentence…”hey, you’ve been an amazing customer in my bookshop so im going to give you 1 minute to pick up as many books as you can and all you collect you can keep, for free!” (bliss) Of course we would need huge arms and deep pockets for this one.
Fab post as ever Cait.
Happy New Year
Gill x
Obviously the most important thing you can learn from books is how to fit 97 books on a bookshelf where you should only put four. More spaces to put books!
I wouldn’t mind being locked in a bookstore or a library. But a library is better because when you can’t decide which book to read next you can use a computer to figure it out.
“I noticed your bookshelf is full and now books are being stacked under the bed and under the kitchen table and in the pantry, so I bought you another bookshelf.”
That’s right. Not “sell your books”, not “clean those things up”, not “decide what to keep” (I mean, really? I keep them all!)
YAAS KEEP THEM ALL!! Why would anyone expect us to do otherwise?!?
lol, this is awesome – as a bookworm, who raised a bookworm, I truly appreciate every single suggestion in this post, Thanks for the giggles! Blessings!
I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! *flails happily*
Did you know that ChapStick is suppoised to stop papercuts from hurting? I read this yesterday. I don’t want to get a papercut, so I am hoping someone else does so they can try it out. Ha! I loved all of these. Being a mom I would add my son saying he will make dinner, or wash the dishes so I can keep reading. That would be heaven. 🙂
I didn’t know that!! If I ever give myself a papercut (who are we kidding…WHEN I do😂) I’ll try it out.