Book characters are our friends and heroes, our favourites and inspirations…aaaaand also super weird.
Look obviously not every book character is relatable to every reader. We don’t all get along in the real world so makes sense, yes??? But I jUST cAN’t with some things book characters do. I do not understand. I have short circuited and shrieked myself into another dimension.
(It’s nice here, btw, very dark and quiet and prone to black stars of death, as is my aesthetic.)
This post is basically to assure me that if I was a YA character, I would just lay down and die. But le’s discuss, shall we?
1. ACTUALLY FIGHTING THINGS
Look I am quite fierce. I can run very fast and far and I have an intense resting Murder Stare™ face and can carry 20 hardcovers at once. However. True to my Slytherin soul, if I was in a dark fantasy adventure, I’d 100% get someone else to do the dirty work for me. I just don’t think I, personally, could fight???
Like the idea of even learning how to use a sword (like for fun???) doth not appeal. I’m a little disappointed in me too, considering I love to write about murdery wars and weapony destruction. But I think I fell over and am actually a pacifist which means I was pulled out of the Pacific Ocean as a child and my true father, Poseidon, will someday reclaim me to rule the seven seas.
2. SKIPPING FOOD TO RUN INTO THE NEXT ADVENTURE
Look I get that there’s adrenaline and grief and terror that can make food less interesting. Also I feel like if you were on a medieval journey and it was like “POTATOES OR BEEF JERKY TODAY!!” which is boring. Buuuuuut. I am a Hobbit. I wish for my Elevenses. I’m like a grazing goat. I don’t understand how all these book characters can keep up the 42 days of WALKING and they barely eat?!??
I’m looking at you Chaos Walking which is such an apt name because the characters walked + never ate. And I’d be a freaking ball of low-blood-sugar chaos if that happened to me too.
3. RUNNING OUT IN ANGER IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ARGUMENT-CONFESSION
Look if someone has WRONGED ME and kept a huge secret, I am 500% not storming out mid-conversation. Like tell me??? Explain the prophecy??? I am mad, yes, and I will fling a plate but I also want to know every single tiny detail, have out with it????
I know it’s dramatic to storm out, but every time a character does that, I’m left sitting here clutching my paperback and going: “WELL I WANT HEAR THE REASONINGS BEHIND YOUR BETRAYAL. GET YOUR BUTT BACK IN THERE.”
4. WHEN SUPERHEROES ARE CONSTANTLY ON CALL
Reason #94898 I would be a better supervillain —> if you are in trouble but I literally just sat down, well you can wait. Hold the trauma in, mate, bleed internally or whatever just not on the carpet. I need some quiet time to regroup.
5. WITTY COMEBACKS
I think of my best witty comebacks at least 7-working days later. I mean, yes, sometimes I deliver that BAM of a line that’s so perfect the sun bursts into flame in appreciation. * I can be epic!! But it is, unfortunately !! not !! the norm!!
Witty banter is my #1 favourite thing to read of ever, so please never stop, YA characters. But if I starred in a book I’d probably have to be the random decorative stone gargoyle. I am just guessing.
* look if you’re going to sit here and say “cait that’s literally what the sun does all the time” THEN YOU CAN TAKE YOUR NEGATIVE REALITY SOMEWHERE ELSE.
6. CHANGING NAMES
So many characters go on adventures, or undercover, or run away or change their whole life and go, “I need another name, I WILL CHOOSE NOW.” Skills, mate. It is a deep and glorious skill. I have no idea how they (a) think up a name that they like now but also won’t be embarrassed about 17 minutes later, and (b) actually make the decision???
97% of the reason I didn’t choose a pen name for my author life (despite honestly loathing my name ah hahaha) is because WHAT IF I ENDED UP HATING IT? I JUST CAN’T MAKE THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT.
Guess who’s never getting a tattoo or spending less than 5 hours choosing an ice cream flavour, hmm?
7. WHEN YOU HAVE A BAD EXPERIENCE BUT GO FOR A REPEAT TRY
I mentioned this in my review of Small Spaces recently, which is a book I loved, but the character had a terrible childhood experience at her aunt’s house, so…9 years later…SHE GOES BACK. I JUST??? I AM NOT??? MY BRAIN = < error >
Look if I have a bad experience with something, you’re more likely to see me on the moon than doing it again. Like one time I went outside and nATURE TOUCHED ME. So I’ve been indoors for 160 years now and it’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine.
8. THOSE TIMES WHEN BOOK CHARACTER PARENTS GIVE THEIR KIDS LIKE…EVERYTHING
Perhaps this is just me saying: Hi, Am I Not Rich Nor Have Ever Been. But I read this books where a 16yo gets given a car and it’s normal and are Americans really like this or is this wishful thinking on authors’ parts??? Double hit when these kids are pretty rude to their parents. Like do yoU wANt to be muRdeRED, JOHN??? I personally struggle to let my parents even pay for a coffee for me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
9. SPILLING FOOD ON ONESELF
Not to say every book character should be clumsy but like…none of them are? And I’m not a clumsy person myself! But I sure as heck SPILL STUFF ON MYSELF. Look this is why witches wear black, we all know it. Cover up bloodstains and food spills. I am just here seeing everyone being so clean and tidy in books while I just found a toothpaste stain that appeared supernaturally because I hadn’t even been to the bathroom yet.
10. CHARGING OFF TO RESCUE PEOPLE
You know that feel when the love of your life goes missing / gets taken by a dragon / runs away?? And then you dedicate you 300pg story to finding them? Well HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD? All I’m saying is that book characters are very confident about this sort of thing, whereas I would be:
Character: *has been taken by the darkness*
Character: Save me???
Me: ok but
Me: do you still like me
Me: will i be bothering you if i just…you know…show up
This should probably be figured out before you being a friendship/relationship with someone, yes?
“TICK: Y / N = WANT TO BE RESCUED FROM EVIL OR NOT KEEN?”
how so many book characters are on the run, broke, etc etc but all have IMPACCABLE FASHION? i just ??? I know it’s not always the case but it always bothers me?? also sunburn. if i spend even one day out in the sun i will literally be struggling to walk i will be so roasted. maybe that’s just the Aussie sun, but come on?? don’t tell me you went on a month long quest and didn’t get slightly sunburnt or even bitten by a mosquito or sOMETHING
impeccable ** wow typos
Ohh yes to sunburn! I mean I don’t actually sunburn myself (yay Italian complexion😂), but there are so many character who are described as “super pale” and it’s like??? “Super beetroot after being outside all day don’t you mean???” 😂😂 Also bugs are always absent…I have questions.
I’m so with you on the name thing, Cait! I am writing under a pseudonym in next week’s edition of my student magazine for a variety of reasons, one of which was curiosity about what it’d be like when the stakes are so low, and I didn’t think very hard about the name and now I have regrets my oh well, it’s a one off I guess! Also the spilling food thing, I do that all the time haha. I guess characters don’t have time for that when they’re busy with a plot (though it happens fairly frequently in Brooklyn Nine Nine so points for that). I gotta say I don’t really get it when characters are social all the time and then don’t spend all their time recovering in bed or questioning what they said and how they said it (I definitely don’t have social anxiety but this still happens to me especially in unusual situations where I don’t know anyone) also when characters hate school for no particular reason BC I was always fairly I to school and learning.
It’s so hard with the names?!? I basically went via my initials for my author life as a non-decisive-option 😂 because I can’t imagine in 10 years time going “WHY DID I PICK THAT I’M TERRIBLE.” Ah haha *sobs* But the spilling thing…I mean. I’m glad I’m not alone but surely characters are a little more clumsy than they pretend?! (I love Brooklyn 99. SO RELATABLE.)
I think that’s an introvert thing right?! Needing alone time to recharge is sooo important for us. (And doesn’t HAVE to mean shy/socially anxious either.) We just need time to chill?!?
i wouldn’t be too bad at the changing name thing, because with almost every new fandom i get into i make myself a new name (it generally takes me a month or more…..one time it took me a YEAR) that sort of matches the other names, so in my daydreams i can run around saving the world with them and not have a super strange name. so if i ever got in to an adventure and had to change my name, i got first and middle names down. XD
and actually with the last one, i find it unrelatabel when the characters DON’T imediatly rush off to try to save their friend. it’ll say something about ‘a few weeks later so-and-so still had no plan…’ i’m always like WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET YOUR BUT OVER THERE WHO KNOWS WHATS HAPPENING TO THEM. which is actually how all the trouble starts in my camp nano book…. >:)
Most crazily, ~Olive
Ah haha you have plenty of practise then!😂 And omg you’re definitely a good friend if you’re all into the saving.😂 I’m pretty sure I would be like: “But are we sure they’re even in trouble??? What if they’ve just gone for a long walk???”
😂😂
The rich parents things: that’s is straight *not* America. That’s like…. a select few and the rest of us either hate those kids in high school or try to be their friends. Books and movies .and the shows also show people who can just – I don’t know – BUY things and I’m like ???????? “This grocery run is $10 more than I planned, I can longer function.” Yeah. Millenials and Gen Z have about zero dollars each.
Okay I’m actually very relieved.😂 I feel like it might also be because books mostly feature rich kids?!? At least contemporaries do a LOT and that’s all very nice and wishful thinking, but I actually like it when the teens have to ride around on their bikes/walk because they have to.😂 Like what is money. We have not got.
Confession time: I stopped using Rain as a pseudonym because I went off it. If I had to change my name I’d do it every ten seconds. Besides, I like my name!
Yeah, I hate it when you think of the PERFECT comeback hours later. Like, if I had a time machine I would tear apart the space fabric of the universe by constantly going back to feed myself lines.
I totally relate haha.😂 (I did notice you don’t write Rain anymore!) I remember the pen name i’d picked out like 4 years ago and I WINCE. So I’m basically just going to give up and hope people end up calling me Nick Fury and I accidentally get to run the avengers.
That is an acceptable life goal. * Nods *
Definitely agreeing with you on the never-eating thing – these book people need to eat just as much as we do!! 😂 And I hate it when they have perfect hair and clothes even when they’ve been on the run for like, months!!! So unrealistic.
And also when there is a group of people in a story, I find that they rarely have just like petty arguments or even big ones that split up the group! Like you’d think that they didn’t agree perfectly allll the time, right? Maybe fictional characters have the ability to get along with everybody all the time. 🤷♀️🤷♀️
Like I do get that running for 12 hours will make you lose your appetite…but wont’ it also make you lose the strength TO run?!?? No one ever seems to just collapse out of hunger-exhaustion here.😂 I DO IF I DON’T SNACK EVERY 4 HOURS SHEESH.
Omg yes, the fighting! I feel like in books it’s either a HUGE fight or none at all.😂I can be with my sister and we can fight about which side of the path we walk on so yes.😂I call books out on this one.
I really wish I was better at witty banter…
I’m good at it if I have tiiiiime to think.😂
Ha! Yes – the car thing is kind of normal in middle class America (or at least it was 15ish years ago)…I didn’t get one, but I grew up around people who did (and my younger sister did). Especially outside major cities, there’s no good public transit, so I guess parents see it as an essential thing and a coming of age thing and a way to cut back on their shuffling-the-kid-around responsibilities?
I definitely get that it’d be convenient, buuuut it also feels like SUCH an extravagance to me.😂I’m guessing it’s just a class/money thing too though, like for my family it was absurd but maybe it’s more typical for other people in Australia too?!? Or else I’ll just look at you Americans and say you’re weird.😂
How is it book characters are always super calm when literally the entire world is burning down like
Character 1: THE SUN HAS DISAPPEARED, WASP HAVE GROWN TO SUPER SIZE, SATAN HIMSELF HAS REBUILT THE GOVERNMENT, AND ALL WATER HAS BECOME POISONOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Character 2: ok but do you really love me?I
Me: WHAT THE HECK THAT’S YOUR BIGGEST CONCERN!!!! AND SO CALMLY!!!!!!
If I where in a YA book, I think I’d probably end up either a) dying from stress or b) be freaking leading the rebellion as a stressful mess into battle where I probably die because I made up my strategy while being a stressed out mess
Talk about PRIORITIES THAT ARE MESSED UP HERE. Like who the heck cares if your crush is reciprocated, THE GOVERNMENT IS FEEDING CHILDREN TO LIONS OR WHATEVER, GO DO SOMETHING.😂 I would also just have a panic attack and die if I was in a book, let’s be real here. Or people would be like “We need to run! Zombies!” And I would just be like “holy heck finally let them have me I can’t walk anymore my feet hurt.”
It took me ages to come up with my pen name, something I liked so I have no idea how people do it? AND YES IM SUCH A MESSY EATER how do these people 1) not eat and 2) when they do, be so well-mannered and neat with it. I’m spilling stuff everywhere to be honest, is there some sort of training these characters get!? I can’t think fo anything to add to your list at the moment but this was super hilarious! Loved the post x
The neatness is just the dark wizardry FOR SURE. I have no ida how people live with clean shirts??? No crumbs??? I am like a walking crumb, I swear. (I’m also so glad you liked the post.😂)
I agree with actually everything in this post. I just finished reading Crooked Kingdom (still crying it was so good) and I’m just so genuinely thankful that Nina actually ATE. Because literally no one else even thought about food and I just needed Nina’s waffle commentary to compensate. As for names, I’m not sure if I could long-term change my name, but for a couple months maybe.
Also is it not strange that after people in books get stABBED THEY JUST GET UP AND SNEER AND THEN CONTINUE FIGHTING AS IF BEING IMPALED IN THE GUT IS JUST A MINOR NUISANCE. Like what?!? Am I missing something here because I didn’t know pain tolerance could get that high. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
NINA IS A GIFT TO THIS WORLD AND I LOVE HER THE MOST OF ALL HEROINES. Like she wanted food, she didn’t share her food, and she got angry when people said “No food, we must go.” I mean, Nina?? I love you. And the waffle appreciation in that series was glorious.😂
And omg the stabbing.😂 Ok I did research that for a book (shh I’m a nice writer I swear) and apparently adrenaline/shock can REALLY do a lot. Like I read about this woman (in real life) who walked home with a knife stabbed in her neck because she didn’t notice. But I think it’s more realistic to have stab = character lay down to die. I’m out of it after a papercut.
Ohh yes, I guess adrenaline could make someone go on in a fight. But after the fight?? When they’re safe, and there’s no more adrenaline they jUST BANDAGE IT UP AND SHRUG as if nothing happened. And the they go on 10 day hikes. With an injury. Like maybe I just have a low pain tolerance, but this confuses me 😂
YES EXACTLY. Omg the after affects usually are HORRIBLE for exhaustion/wounds. Like I researched stabbing (lol don’t judge I’m a writer😂) once and apparently healing is way way more painful than the actual getting stabbed.
This is such a great post! I can’t relate when people can smell or taste super specific things–I’m just like “um, this tastes good?” But like, identifying how someone smells? I have horrible senses. But I CAN relate to when Percy Jackson totally mishears/misreads everything (like hubris and hummus) and I feel like characters need to be totally confused more often.
On another note, I just noticed you have a tab now for pre-ordering your book and I’m probably just blind and missed you putting that up a while ago, but it’s still so exciting!
Oh yes haha the super detailed smell descriptions is amazing and ALSO DARK MAGIC.😂 I walk into a room and am like “OH IS THAT BREAD” and my mum is like “we haven’t cooked anything in a week.” So yes. And omg I love Percy Jackson. <3 He's so relatable haha.
And yes!! I actually didn't put it up so long ago but I should probably point people to it.😂
Ahahahaha YES! I wrote a post like this awhile ago… Totally relate! One thing also is that I NEED SLEEP. Like these characters go for days with little to no sleep and I’m just like HOWWW?? I have a pretty high pain tolerance since I’m a pointe dancer, but like somehow they manage to get all cut up and keep fighting. I’d get one scratch and then start crying. *nervous laugher*
Okay sleep is the only thing I can understand skipping because I LITERALLY NEVER SLEEP. *throws sleep in the air like confetti* But my sister is a total mess without 7+ hours so.😂I see the mortals. (Also that’s so awesome you’re a dancer!!)
Now that you mention spilling food… yes there should be some character that does that. Like I sometimes tilt my head back to drink something by my cup is *just barely* too far and it falls all over me. (Because obviously, I’m super talented) I just need to write an entire book now to put in a character that does this. 😂
So so true right!?? Like I feel spilling food is part of every day life and yet we have all these super neat characters. So wild. I have one character in my books who is constantly covered in crumbs, it’s amazing.😂 (Also how is drinking water so hard. I spill it all the time.😂)
I would absolutely change my name, because who says it has to just be one? Maybe in one place they know me as Susan and somewhere else it’s Princess Bubblegum and they will NEVER KNOW the real me. Honestly, the more names the better.
And I’m sad to say I have actually walked out on someone in the middle of a conversation. Not proud, but yes, it IS very dramatic. I can see why YA characters do it so often. Certainly doesn’t get much done in the way of resolving things, but what can you do?
Actually this is a fantastic idea so long as one can keep all their names straight.😂 Although, like why not?! I’m used to being called Cait in real life, but Paper Fury online! THIS COULD WORK. I’M RENAMING MYSELF EVERY TIME I MEET A NEW PERSON.
Sometimes the drama is needed.😂
I don’t understand how fictional characters can go from noticing someone to being a couple in like two days. Sheesh, most of us are still overanalyzing EVERY interaction we have with someone cute and ending up in complete confusion. Mutual liking ≠ courage to admit it. Look, I get that you can’t stop thinking of each other, but no teenager is going to profess their undying love after knowing you for two hours. They may send you an anonymous valentine . . . but that’s another story. 😀
Ohhh so massively agreed. Like I can’t even tell if I can tolerate being in the same room as a person in the first few days??? I need like a month, at least, to acknowledge that they exist. AND THEN THESE CHARACTERS GO FALLING IN LOVE IN 3 HOURS. HOW.
Oh man, I never got the storming-out-in-anger thing either!!!! If that’s me–if I just got news that my whole life is a lie & everyone has betrayed me–then I am CONFUSED and I WANT ANSWERS and ain’t nobody leaving the room until I understand the whole shebang.
*sighs @book characters*
I have a character who needs to change her name–WW2 fiction and she’s in hiding, etc.–but I think I’m gonna have the name be chosen FOR her. Because I feel the same way as you . . . I can’t just come up with a new name on a whim like that??
I KNOW RIGHT?!? Like ok yes feel betrayed and angry…but also stay and get answers.😂 I so would not storm out. I would storm around the room or whatever, but like??? I want answers??? all of them now, ‘fess up.😂
Coming up with new names feels like SUCH pressure! I loved that in this movie I watched, a kid had to come up with a name like instantly, so he just looked at this bus and picked the name off the advertisement on it.😂 That would be me.
OH MY GRACIOUS the witty comeback thing. Some of my friends and I legit said we should dedicate a notebook to be filled solely with ALL THE WITTY THINGS WE SHOULD HAVE SAID BUT DIDN’T good grief would it get full fast.
Yes exactly!?? It’s like we need a pause button so we can gather our sharp wit.😂
Yes! Except for the one about fighting. I relate to that. I went to a jujitsu class once because my friend wanted me to and now I’m completely obsessed with all kinds of fighting.
Choosing a new name in seconds, though? Nope. One time I complained that I don’t like my name so my parents asked what they should have called me instead and it literally took me all day to come up with an answer.
One thing I’d add to this list is not sleeping. I’ve read so many books where the characters never seem to sleep and they’re fine, while I stop functioning properly after just one or two nights of reduced sleep.
Thanks for the great post 🙂
Ah haha I’m glad you can do it! Like it appeals to me to like maybe learn karate or something, or self defence….but I just couldn’t hit anyone?!? I know I couldn’t. I’ll just write about it instead.😂
Omg I’m the same! I complain bout my name ALL the time so my parents go: “Ok fine what would you have liked?” And I’m like???? I shouldn’t have to answer this??? You should just do a better job.😂😂
Okay I confess the sleeping thing makes sense to me. I function on about 4 hours regularly. #InsomniaFun 😂
I CAN REPEAT ‘YES’ FOR THE END OF ETERNITY AND IT WILL NEVER EXPLAIN HOW RELATABLE THIS POST WAS. 😂I agree with all of this. Like, if I was a book character going on a quest, I’d need a lot more food. And bathroom breaks. I’ve also always wondered why nobody in books ever seems to get sick… I mean, it doesn’t really affect my reading experience, but it’s just that you’d think more people would question why characters are practically immune to the eNTIRE world after a few centuries.😂
I’m so glad you liked it!!😂😂 This was a lot of fun hhhahah. And omg the bathroom breaks. And the sickness!! Like seriously. Plus they all run through rains and storms and freezing winters and like no one even gets a runny nose?!?? The immune systems of these heroes is the real dark magic going on here.😂
I think the whole Americans getting a car the minute they turned sixteen used to be kind of true, but now totally isn’t. Like, my parents are a Navy kid with a super young mom and a Ranch kid respectivally, so I know this wasn’t them, but I think it’s a generational thing? It seems like a lot of people my parent’s age did get a car as a birthday present either on their sixteenth birthday or their eighteenth.
And yes, the whole suddenly being able to fight someone thing? I once accidentally smacked someone in the face with a sheetpan and I didn’t break her nose but it came close and I felt so bad that I cried. I don’t think I could actually go out and kill people like so many YA fantasy teens seem to do. Like, no. Even if I did, it would probably be accidental and I’d spend the rest of the book sobbing and/or throwing up.
Well that would make sense, especially if typical writers are 30+ years old? 😂 Everyone seems broke these days hahaha. Ahem. But it just BOGGLES my mind, because my parents would ask me to pay for petrol if I just wanted to drive to the library so.😂
I’m so glad I’m not alone with the fighting thing. Like I feel books should acknowledge those of us who can’t fight?! It’s not that I don’t want to, like it appeals to me to learn karate or something, but I LITERALLY COULDN’T HIT SOMEONE. I just couldn’t!
Hi, I am a Hobbit too, nice to meet you 😉 LOL But seriously, how can all these book characters function witout eating? My mind just does not get it. Authors should pay more attention to meals, cakes, snacks and cakes. And did I mention cakes?
Snacks are IMPORTANT.😂I mean I know that huge amounts of exercise = not feeling super hungry. But then you end up feeling super TIRED and yet they continue running across 3 continents and then facing a massive battle?! Here is the real wizardry.😂
Skipping meals is something I don’t understand. I’m usually planning lunch WHILE I’m still eating breakfast. How can fictional people forget to eat?! I’d also be terrible at fighting and rescuing people. If I was in one of those dangerous fantasy worlds, I’d die in about 3 seconds.
OH GOOD. Because that’s exactly what I do.😂 Like let’s have a 7-day meal plan, thanks, that makes me feel so much better about life.😂 I would just die in 3 seconds if I had to fight, walk for days, or someone suggested skipping breakfast.
The name thing drives me insane, even if I tried I to change mine. I would forget and if someone called me by my new name, I wouldn’t answer to it. Skipping meals, that wouldn’t happen either food is all I think about.
Had a good laugh over these!
It’d be so weird forgetting right?! I would so totally forget my own new-name.😂
You cannot walk miles without eating, you just can’t. >.< Book characters and their endless stamina…
I'm with you, TELL ME ALL THE BETRAYAL DETAILS!!! So often I read a story and the protagonist gets mad at something someone did, and I'm like, "Why? Can't you see the logic of their actions???"
I kinda have a pen name, so I guess I'm good if I were to become a protagonist later. xD
Agree 1000% with NOT going back to the place of bad associations! Whyyyyyy would you do that? It's dangerous!!!
I think book kids being given expensive things from their parents is wishful thinking. Or the parents are rich? I wouldn't say getting a car is that normal.
Mostly, I would avoid eavesdropping at all costs if I were a book character. Why would I do that? Whoops, I didn't discover the Convenient Clue then! The world isn't saved.
It makes me have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Like I know a ton of exercise = you don’t feel hungry. But you also then don’t have energy??? and no one in these books ever lays down on the dirt road and whines “can’t walk”. Which is 100% what I would be doing. I should so so not star in a YA novel.😂
And yes so true?! Like even if someone massively betrayed me BUT was willing to explain?? I want to hear it?? I probably will still hate them, but I want all the info so I am armed to yell more??
(I’m thinking so many books have really rich characters.😂And it’s just odd ah ahah.)
Omg I relate to this soooo much. WHERE do those comebacks come from??? I always get my best comebacks like 10 hours later when I’m in bed trying to fall asleep. also WHO gets a car for their 16th birthday can I be adopted into their bookish family??? I mean, my parents have bought me a bike soooooo…there’s my transportation!!
I’M SO GLAD I’M NOT ALONE. And holy heck I want parents who are rich enough to just be like “here’s a car! happy birthday!” My birthdays were more like “here’s 1 book and you can skip dishes for today”.😂😂
Yes! The food! I too am almost always hungry. I could eat an entire pizza and be all, “What shall I have for DESSERT?!”
Because I am always hungry… and while pizza is like eating solid-squidgy gold… Sugary stuff….. Need it…. How else might I survive these cold winters Steve???
How do these characters just leave their homes….. and feel happy about it???
Also, how do they leave their house without their parents noticing???? My parents question me if I just go to the kitchen…. how characters leave the house and run into the night like a wild man…. only to get home and be all, “My parents are still asleep. Completely unaware that I left the house.”
This is an impossible feat….. Some kind of parallel universe probably???
No one should dare expect us to survive thE LONG COLD WINTERS WITHOUT PIZZA. (Speaking of which: how do the medieval chaps even survive without pizza???) And omg leaving the house without being noticed = yes! My front door is so loud haha. All this sneaking out is actually an art skill and we should be really impressed by it?!
Haha! Literally everything you said is me.
😂😂 I’m glad you liked the post!
YES to the witty comebacks. I’m very jealous of book characters and their sass. Not jealous of their poor starving stomachs though. I will take my second breakfast please.
I think getting a car is still pretty common if the parents can afford it. A lot of people get their parents’ old cars so they aren’t necessarily shiny new but—a car’s a car. In our area you can’t walk or bike anywhere, plus I didn’t even have a bus I could take, so it was really helpful for my family that I could drive myself places. Add that to the fact that most book characters seem to be generically upper middle class and it never seemed odd to me. Characters need to be WAY nicer to their parents though! Not only would my parents have none of that but my conscience would never let me sleep.
I can never understand how book characters are so good at time management? Like in the Raven Boys Gansey somehow manages to get good grades, have a social life, compete on the rowing team, and go adventuring? HOW??? I have…..maybe one of those things (and it’s not the social life. Or the adventuring, sadly). I also don’t understand how so many American characters know how to drive manual transmission. I know that’s common in some countries but not where I’m from.
Here here. Can’t we have second breakfast AND instant witty comebacks?!? This surely is not too much to ask. Sheesh.
Oh I don’t ever doubt that cars are useful, lol, I guess it’s just the money? Petrol + insurance is so expensive (no clue how the prices relate in different countries!) and in Australia we all want cars but doesn’t mean we can afford it.😂 (But yeah I do think teens in books get away with a lot that I would’ve been murdered for.😂)
OMG YES THE TIME MANAGEMENT. Or how much they fit into one day?!? Like I go out for a 15minute job, but somehow it takes 1 hour.😂 How do they manage to do school AND find dead kings. That’s the real magic going on here.
I think you should add to #6: How do they even remember their new name?? Like, I went by Inez in Spain, because it’s easier for people to say than the death mashup of English sounds that is Faith, and even tho Inez is literally my middle name I still would forget to respond to it occasionally. So how does one remember a name they made up on the spot??
“Yes, Dark Lord. I really am…”
*squints at hand*
“…Footh…Chapmoose.”
Omg yes.😂 I would probably struggle to remember to respond to a new name too…although tbh no one in my family even remembers my current name so it’d just be a great fun mess.
Hahaha, this post was hilarious! And also incredibly accurate.
I personally don’t understand how characters come up with plans. Plans to rescue someone. Plans to break into somewhere. Plans for whatever other large plot point needs a plan. I mean, really? It’s impressive. I would probably just end up bumbling my way through my rescue attempt/break-in/etc and get myself killed. How do they come up with these plans?! Often with only a very short amount of time in which to plan…
Also giving inspiring speeches… with no preparation. Usually in dystopians, or anything else with a rebellion. And I’m just like… No? It’s HARD peoples! Giving a speech with no preparation is HARD! It’s something I have some experience with. I’ve been speaking for years. I’m a fairly good public speaker. And I could NEVER give a speech that good with no preparation. So how do the characters do it?
YES! The schemers are amazing! I think I wouldn’t be too bad of a schemer, but not under pressure.😂 Like you said…they have to do it so fast?! But the speeches: NOPE. I’M OUTTA HERE.😂
Let’s not forget the kids who get to go on a road-trip ALL BY THEMSELVES! I’m an “adult” and I’m not even trust to cut an apple by myself…?
Speaking of which, who runs out on a feast? People can be clanging swords around me and I’d try to reach for the chicken. Probably run with spaghetti in my arms. Do fantasy worlds have spaghetti? That annoys me. They have the unicorns and the witches but nobody know what pasta or spaghetti is? I digress, Cait.
Oh, and the kids in fantasy who aren’t eager to be the chosen one or of royalty? Shove aside, junior, let me have it!
Oh yes, forever confused by these capable teens.😂I’m an adult and like??? No don’t let me roadtrip by myself I would get lost and die. And it’s just RUDE when those fantasy worlds have like a murder session during a feast. All that food going to waste?!?? The cooks must be so mad.
Yep, so much AGREE on skipping food. And also, BEST image choice of this item 😀 best best best!
Witty comebacks as well xD I just… I just don’t have that on me xD whenever I’m in any sort of fight, I’m like.. “well.. you are… STUPID!” xD and that’s the best I can come up with 😀 I would second the fact that the REAL comebacks make themselves known to you 7 days later xD but you know, I think maybe it’s just you and me? 😀 because some people can actually do this pure magic. I don’t even know.
I take it one step further with the parents thing. I pay for my parents xD honestly, coulnd’t agree more about the car giving 😀 but I think it happens to other people. Again, just not you and me xD look how much we’ve got in common xD
Another thing I could say – skipping sleep. I am so completely useless if I skip sleep. I am even STILL useless three days later if I skipped sleep once. But again, maybe it’s just me xD
You know, I was reading a book recently (one I didn’t really like, but beside the point) – and in it, a child is nearly drowned in a nasty, dirty water tower, but saves herself. And I’m expecting like… She’ll get out of it, and the book should end. That’s how it always happens. That’s where the story ends. But guess what! It didn’t. She crawled back home. Had to clean up. Hide from the family. Threw up. Got into hospital and got violently sick from the water. And I was passionately clapping to the author for doing this – cause I DIDN’T EVEN THINK she wasn’t safe yet when she escaped – because that’s the unrealistic sh… we get fed all the time by books and movies! Gah! I’m so proud of this author who actually wrote it realistically!
So maybe that was a bit of a tangent, but I feel like it’s related to stuff that characters do that I don’t understand, like as in it’s not even very realistic the way it is often written xD
…Anyway 😀
Omg I’m the same speaking out loud though…like witty comebacks? LOL WHO ARE THEY.😂 I’ll just stand like an angry grape and then think up something good later. Writing – I’m a little better at least ha.
I seriously think some countries are weird with their money. Haha. I was paying for everything I needed (like apart from food/house obviously) when I was a teen…and these kids get given money/cars…WHAT IS GOING ON AMERICA, YOU ALIEN PLANET.
I never sleep so that’s the only one I could probably do.😂
Oh wow I’m glad the author went realistic with that!! Like it shouldn’t be mind boggling for it to happen, but it is?! Like people in books hardly ever get sick from really bad stuff happening to them.😂 Or being resuscitated + they should break ribs, etc. etc.
Yes to so much of this. And yes to characters not having money but having their hair colored in rainbow colors *squints at warcross*
Ah hahah that confused me too.😂Isn’t it like HUNDREDS to get your hair done like that?!
I am American. I can confirm that yes, some parents do give their children a car. I’m not from a rich family. This didn’t happen to me. I don’t know if I’m jealous, or more surprised that they don’t have to work for something they want. I’m still saving money for a car, lol.
Ohhh so like it definitely is a class thing maybe? And maybe most YA contemporaries are set in rich families so that’s why it seems to come up so much?!😂
Oh my gosh yesss to all of these! We need more books with main characters who are more human and unlikeable and make decisions a normal person would because who am I kidding, most people would never sacrifice everything just to save some people. Wooh for humanity!
And oh wow that name thing is too true! I can barely name my characters, much less change my own name or make a pseudonym! Must be a superpower.
Yes! Messy characters with messy emotions! WE NEED THEM. THEY ARE US.😂 Honestly though, maybe it’s good I’m not the chosen one because the world would just die because I’m too tired.😂
I spill things on myself far too often! It was nice to read in The Lunar Chronicles that Cinder has the same problem 🙂
Another thing I can’t stand is when killing someone doesn’t have an impact on a character. I mean, that character just took someones life… I would feel really bad about that, even if it was a bad person.
Omg I loved Cinder…and how she fixed things by whacking them?! RELATABLE AS ANYTHING. 😂
Also agreed that the death should have more of an impact…that always boggles me when it doesn’t. I don’t think many humans (especially teens!!) would be ok after killing someone….
Wowee your socks are giving me LIFE Hun and I’m sooooo excited for a Thousand Perfect Notes it looks amazinggg and you’ve worked so hard on it! Also how many characters just don’t even break a sweat? Seriously they’ll break into a marathon-long run carrying WEAPONS (heavy am I right?) and still have perfect hair and their leather-outfit is perfect (HOW DO THEY RUN IN SO MUCH LEATHER?)
Grace Louise || http://www.gracelouiseofficial.blogspot.co.uk/
Aren’t they the best socks ever?! I feel so NEFARIOUS IN THEM. *nods like isn’t made out of rainbows* 😂😂 And fajdsklfd thank you so much for being excited about my book it literally means SO MUCH to me.😍😍
Also sweatiness! Yes! It never seems to happen in books?!
One thing I never get in books is in fight scenes or whatever, how the people can manage to run. Call me out of shape, but like. THEY RUN FOR PAGES AND NOT GET TIRED??? In exciting scenes like this I often find myself skimming because that’s how fast I’d run out of strength myself XD I DON’T GET IT.
I toootally agree though! And I run 5Kms a day but if I like vary my run I get SUPER puffed.😂 You kind of get into a routine with exercise, so like even if these people were super fit in battles, they should STILL GET SUPER TIRED VERY FAST. Plus wearing all that armour if it’s a fantasy world!
HAHAHA OMG! All of these are so accurate. Specially the spilling of things. I literally cannot feed myself most of the time. Last night I seriously dropped a whole blob (yes a blob is an accurate measurement) of Tartare sauce IN MY HAIR! And you know what’s sad.. this is a regular occurrence.
Also I had to laugh at the last one because my WIP is literally about a boy who drops everything to save a girl. And for his own wellbeing, IT IS REALLY THE WORST IDEA ANYONE HAS EVER HAD!
I RELATE SO MUCH THOUGH. And “blob” is an accurate measurement.😂 I drop things all the time and c’mon if it’s 5 seconds on the floor, it’s fine. We’ll survive if we eat it.😂
So much YES for all of this. But specially about relationships with parents! Latinx in general have very strict parents. I mean, usually we have to ask for permission to go to the movies, and go out and stuff as long as we’re under the same roof as our parents. I wouldn’t get away with even half of what the teens in YA do! XD Geez, I’m 22, drive and I still tell my dad every time I need to go out. It probably has to do with the fact that we can drive at 18.and not at 16 like in the US? So we depend on them for longer so… hell no, no saving the world on schooldays. And during college? Ain’t nobody got time for that when you can just sleep!
Ahh I so relate. I mean I’m white/Australian, but that was so my teenagerdom too?! Like we didn’t even go for a walk without telling our parents where we want.😂 And I could only use the car if I asked for permission + put in for petrol + my parents weren’t using it.😂 And I feel like maybe car safety is a bigger deal in Australia too?! Like my parents were always freaked about driving safely, but in American (books) no one seems to even think twice about it!
I can totally relate to most of these! I always re-play all my arguments and conversations when I am trying to fall asleep and I am so much wittier inside my head! The last one is best!!! That would be me. “Are you sure I am not bothering you?” haha 😂
I’m so much wittier in my head too ahaahha…usually hours later.😂😂 And omg yes exactly?! It’d be like “how do we even know they want ME to rescue them?? am I annoying???” <-- ME😂
YES AT THE CONSTANTLY ON CALL ONE!!! How are they ~ALWAYS~ in the right mood and mindset to go on a crazy adventure??? DO THEY NOT TAKE BREAKS WHEN WILL THEY EVER JUST SIT DOWN AND HAVE A PIECE OF CAKE??
YES also at the repeat try one–I’M LOOKING AT YOU, THE SHALLOWS (MOVIE). I reaaaaaally have no idea how the woman in that movie can go back surfing ONE YEAR after a freaking SHARK TRIES TO EAT HER ALIVE?!
THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. I’M GLAD YOU AGREE. *cries* I would just be like: i need the weekend, go die quietly somewhere else.😂
(I would legit never got 100 kms near the ocean if I had an even remotely bad experience there.)
I so so agree with everything on this list!! I could never fight anyone. If I’m hungry I am a mess and have trouble doing anything (including making food!). I spill food on myself all the time,
I don’t understand American parents giving their kids a car, I don’t know if that really happens or not. Here in the Netherlands I don’t think it happens that often at all. Though I am surprised by how many teenagers nowadays have smartphones, because they cost quite a bit of money (or subscription money), when I was a teenagers it was just the beginning of mobile phones. But even then, I got a bit of pocket money per month, and that was it (and I was fine with that, it was normal for us back then). A lot of my classmates in high school got ‘clothing money’ and had to use that money to buy clothes. My mum would just take me shopping if I needed clothes. But I was never someone who had to have specific clothes that everyone else was wearing or anything like that. I think just asked for them if I needed them because old stuff wouldn’t fit anymore or was damaged etc. I think it happened more often that my mum would just take me shopping, rather than me asking for it, to be honest!
I would never change my name, I love my name. I do have an online alias I use sometimes (Athena), but I thought about it a lot before I decided to use it. I used it to replace my old online alias, which my ex thought up, and a while after we broke up I didn’t want to be reminded of him so I wanted a new online alias.
I totally can’t relate to book characters going back to experience something again when it went wrong the first time. I’m not witty at all, and if I ever think of comebacks that happens quite a while after the actual conversation happened.
I totally agree about book characters running off mad halfway through the conversation. I want to know what the other character has to say!!
I also don’t understand when they go running after a missing person. I’m not adventurous at all.
Other things I can’t relate to with book characters that come to mind right now, is that some of them go to big parties and like to do so (I could not do that, they are incredibly noisy and wayyy too many people). They like to drink a lot of alcohol (I don’t drink alcohol). They go to school yet don’t do any work and still pass with okay grades and don’t care about school (I always did the work I had to do, it didn’t feel right not to, not a hair on my head would even consider not doing the work), or they do do some work but have lots of time/energy to do lots of other things (my schoolwork took almost all my time and all of my energy, for most of my years in high school).
I find it hard to relate to extroverted characters (because I’m most definitely an introvert), I find it hard to relate to characters who are adventurous, who go out and fight and throw up the dystopian regime or who go and defeat the evil sorceror or who stand up against bad characters.
I can’t relate to when characters go on a quest or go someplace, and they just somehow have all the money to buy food and clothes and everything (ie. if they run away from home in a real world setting), or when they are in a fantasy book and somehow manage to get their stomachs filled with berries or whatever?? Like, I don’t understand where they get all the money or all the food from.
I also can’t relate to characters who feel instalove when they’ve just met another book character. I really need to get to know a person before I would even consider having a relationship with them, before I can even see them as an option. I could never go on a date with a stranger or anything (after all, quite a few of the people I’ve met in my life, don’t understand my autism, and I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t understand me at all). Friends first, always (I recently found out that means I’m demisexual).
For years I enjoyed living ‘other lives’ through these fictional books (ie. fantasy, dystopian / science-fiction, contemporary fiction, rom-com) and it never bothered me that I couldn’t relate to a lot of things, it never occured to me I wasn’t ever seeing myself in books. It’s only since last year (since reading Queens of Geek, and then The State of Grace, and Kids Like Us, and Zondagskind) that I know what it feels like to be represented well in a fictional book. And now books with characters who are not like me at all (which is most fictional books), I have a bit more problems relating to. I can still really enjoy all the books without characters like me, gladly, but not quite to the same intensity as much as I absolutely love those four books I mentioned (it’s possible I’m forgetting one or two, too!!). And of course, I do intend to read more books with characters who possibly are like me. And sometimes it’s nice to get away from your own life. But somehow I find I need a bit more recognition nowadays, rather than just living very different lives?
I definitely relate to your upbringing more than the Americans in books ones, too! Haha. My parents usually bought my clothes as a kid/teen (and then I bought them when I finished highschool), but it was just like?? Needed stuff?? When things wore out or whatever. And I never got pocket money.😂 I did a paper route as a kid but even then I saved that! And using my parents car was like: I had to ask for permission, put in for petrol, only use it if they weren’t, etc. etc. Although my trips were to the library and back and that was it. I was a WILD teen.
Agreed about the school/partying culture too! Although I was homeschooled so like I have no idea. 😂 But I can’t even IMAGINE doing the workload of school + having time to party like kids in books seem to do?!
Oh dude, yes to the extroverts! I wrote one and it was exhausting experience ah hahah.😂
And the instalove thing always boggles me too. I need like 9 years to decide if I can even stand a person and yet here are all these book characters: FALLING IN LOVE IN 3 DAYS. HOW.
I do think that books that we can connect too are particularly special. 💖💖
Okay these are hilarious but also seriously – #8 is one reason I really struggle with contemporary YA. The main characters are almost always so SPOILED and that makes them so much more difficult for me to relate to because that wasn’t my upbringing (and I don’t think it was most people’s upbringing….). Love this list.
It is a bit hard when the characters are always so rich?!? That’s one thing that none of my contemporaries have going for it, lol lol.😂 I tend to always write people stretched for money?!
I can relate to the spilling thing so much. Seems like the only thing being spilled in books is tea, and even then occasionally.
I kind of have changed my name? I’ve adopted an alias for the internet that is nothing like my real name. Mainly did it because of a silly thing on Twitter years ago… and then a thousand people or so knew me by that name, oh well, no turning back now.
I think it’s totally cool you picked an alias name!! I kind of wished I had for a while.😂 But DECISIONS. I just couldn’t bleh.😂
Also characters should spill things waaaay more. It’s so much more realistic/relatable.
Hahah you know what I can’t relate to…INSTA LOVE or seeing someone on the street and instantly wanting to find a connection with them…I mean how weird is that? And yes more characters need to eat ok.
Omg totally agree. Like it takes me about 7 years to decide if I can stand a person and view them as tolerable. how the heck are all these people falling in LOVE in two days.
The rich parents one throws me every time because I don’t understand having things given to you. Also, rescuing people. Do I have time? Do I have the effort? Can you wait until I finish this chapter? I’m trying to run a raid on World of Warcraft. I waited three hours to get in. Give me a few minutes.
Yes it’s so weird right?? But then I also just hate being given anything. EVER. I’m terrible.😂
Well, I was a theatre major in college, and I spent an entire year learning stage combat and acrobatics (no, really) and mostly what I learned is that I would be in major trouble if I ever had to defend myself or if my life depended on my coordination. I’m not cut out for combat—even the fake kind. I mean, sure I passed. I managed to get the basics down in a sword fight and I could even pull off a kinda sorta back handspring, but I was about as fierce as a kitten!
Ah haha that would be me too!! I am just in no way sure I’d EVER be able to defend myself physically. I would just start crying.😂 I’m sure that’ll be a great deterrent if I was in a fantasy-epic-adventure-battle.😂
Great post, Cait! I was laughing the whole time because I relate so much more to clumsy or near-perfect humans rather than perfect, stable, and ruly hair fictional characters. Seriously, how do book characters always seem to look perfect even after having a sweat-inducing nightmare? I also agree with the food. I can barely go 5 seconds without eating anything. This can include a pie, especially after the SAT and ACT, or a limitless bag of salty chips(’cause I am salty:)). While I was reading some more of your (serious) observations, I saw the comment about characters who always have a “I am always witty. Even after you kick me.” sign taped on their backs. If only I could be witty. *sadly looks into the distance waiting for me special Tyrion-leprechaun creature* I hope you have a great time trying to be like your favorite fictional characters! I may try being as perfect as you one day; however, I think being you takes a lot of effort so I will stick to being a cat. Have a great day!
I know right?! Or always look put-together and on top of things?!? And here I am, all crummy and wrinkled and my jacket has been on the floor and I can’t find matching socks.😂
I caaaan’t with how little food they often eat. I get hungry ALL the time.😂
I would love to have all the epic instant comebacks that characters have.😂 I write witty banter a lot, but it takes me ages lol lol.
Firstly, epic socks. I’d wear them on my hands just so people could see them.
Banter is one of my favourite.things ever in books, especially characters who have the hots for each other but won’t admit it. Not all authors write it well though. I’ve read books where the author’s tried to hard to be funny and isn’t, it’s so forced. I think you need to have that light hearted personality to be able to pull it off.
Food and periods. No one eats and girls apparently don’t have periods either. Could be because no one is eating. Bit like fade to black sex scenes too, no one really.mentions using protection. I think YA in general is scared of bodily fluids, no one pees or poops either.
What on earth is going on!
Someone needs to bring back gloves…but like in cool patterns like socks have??? Or arm warmers. I have need here. It’s a waste just to put sushi on my feet.
I looove banter.😂 SO MUCH. I just want to know all their secrets on how they do it. And forced banter is so awkward. AWGHGH.
yeah periods always confuse me in books?! Like sometimes I get that all the exercise and malnutrition would probably equal a very irregular or non-existent period, so ok. Like Katniss WAS starving, for instance. But most of them have no excuse.😂 MAYBE THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T EAT?? SO IT DOESN’T HAVE TO COME BACK OUT???
Okay, even I don’t get the “happy sixteenth, here’s a car!!!” thing and I live in America. Like, yes, there are a few very well-off families in our hometown who gave their kids (or maybe their grandkids, if the parents didn’t have the money) cars when they turned sixteen, but most of my friends absolutely did not, because who has that kind of cash lying around??? My present was a key to the already existing, beat up car that’s as old as I am. People around here, for the most part, have to save up their own money to buy a car, and even then, it’s nearly always a used one. These authors are definitely wishful thinkers. xD
OMG WITTY BANTER. I love it so much. It is my all-time favorite thing to write. What I don’t understand is how I can think of it so clearly when I’m writing but when I have a real-life opportunity to say something clever and hilarious my mind just goes “sdkaldjfoieuwr.”
OKAY SO IT’S A MYTH. THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH.😂 Maybe authors have a lot of wishful thinking?😂 (That and all the love triangles ah ahhahaha busted.) My parents did have two cars (before they retired) and like I was allowed to drive one, but I had to put in for petrol.😂 And I basically drove to the library and back so that was wild.
I LOVE witty banter. I love writing it. But in real life? I’m exhausted after one round. My little brain needs to recoup.😂
Skipping food is a huge one! I guess I’m not cut out for rugged survival. 😂
At a certain economic level, yes, it’s not uncommon for 16-year-old Americans to be given a car by their parents.
I am so so not cut out for it either…😂I need my regular meals and my snacks.
(Also I’m guessing it’s maybe a bit of a cultural thing with the cars? I wonder how petrol/insurance prices compare?)
I agree with you on 5! One day I just want to see a character in the middle of an argument, storm out, then think of the perfect comeback five hours later while they’re in bed because it might even be funnier that way!
Nope, never changing my name. This is who I am, and I’m attached to it okay?
And I spill stuff on myself all the time. Book characters don’t because while they often tell us that they are clumsy, to actually put in work to show it might mean they ruin their *look* and it’s more assumed to be a cute character trait than an actual flaw.
It would actually be SO funny?!😂😂😂It would add in so much comedy! OR else storming out and then coming back 5 seconds later with, “AND ANOTHER THING!”😂
I’m glad you like your name, ahah! (It is a lovely name.)
And I’m so confused when characters say they’re “clumsy” so they trip on stuff? Like nooo it’s more than that. You drop stuff, you spill stuff, you have like no depth perception…you can’t park a car.😂Ok maybe I am clumsy…
I mean… I don’t know if the car thing is normal on an American level, but it was definitely normal for me? I had a car (not like a brand new luxury car, but not a crappy one either) and my brother did and yeah I guess most of my friends did too? (In fairness I am pretty sure I was/am spoiled, so.)
OMG #3, This KILLS ME because nope nope not running away, not ever, you better have a damn good excuse to tell me, and if not, at the very least I am going to fully enjoy watching you squirm to come up with one! I have literally NEVER left an argument until I have won or no longer like that person.
NOPE I would never change my name for any reason ever. I have all the thoughts about this, tbh. I get salty when people I know get married and change their name, which I know is unfair because it is their decision but just… don’t, you already HAVE a name, and why should you have to change it for some gross dude!? Also, I am suuuuper narcissistic I think, and I would need everyone to know that any and all accomplishments were by ME, and not some other name.
Wow Cait I have come off in this comment like a spoiled, argumentative, judgy asshole. But I mean, at least I love your post?
I’m guessing maybe it’s a cultural thing too?! Or just a where-you-live-and-how-well-off-your-parents-are.😂My family had 6 kids and 1 income so obviously we weren’t doing much. Like here’s a bike and surprise IT WAS YOUR SISTER’S AND HER SISTER’S BEFORE THAT.😂 (Legit I never had a piece of new furniture till I was 18 and bought my own bookshelf!)
And yes! GIVE US THE INFO FOR THESE ARGUMENTS.😂 Like I am all for dramatic flairs but also I want information way more.
Ohh omph yes changing one’s name to match their husband…smh. I’m all for people who don’t want to do that.😂So many “ownership” issues there tbh.
(I STILL LOVE YOU, SHANNON, AND YOUR COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS PERFECT.)
I spent like a week trying to come up with a new, secret name for myself, and I just… could not. I’ve used up all my naming powers on characters (and 99 identical marbles as a child; my mom still laughs). I have nothing left for me.
This is so relatable I can’t even.😂I had SO many toys as a kid with names…but like me?? No I cannot think of anything.😂
This post s sooo relatable! Seriously!
And the name thing!!! I’ve hated my name since I was a small child and I wanted to have any other name possible, but I can never decide?? The maximum was that I made up another middle name than I really have and only one that fits the nickname my mom gave me out of the blue, so it still kinda matches … like that commitment is not that big .. no one cares if you drop your middle name … I hope??
And the Storming off in the middle of an argument one .. I mean I get the appeal to be dramatic (I literally wrote a story about a girl living in a castle just so she could storm off more dramatically because I was pissed that I couldn’t slam the doors effectively in our tiny flat … don’t judge I was 7 or 8 😀 ) but it’s so annoying .. storm off AFTER gathering all the useful information!!
And I’m the same with witty comebacks! I have them! Great ones!! Just … about two days later …
The only one I can’t realte to is spilling food (or anything really) over myself. I never did, not even as a kid. Which is funny cause everyone in my family constantly does! The only thing I can safely make fun off because I never do it 😀
Names are so annoying honestly. *cries* I mean I guess our parents did their best but ??? yET??? NO????
And omg I do think slamming doors and everything is a fantastic dramatic flair.😂 I do like writing it at times. But my characters tend to slam doors and then come back with “AND ANOTHER THING” because let’s get this resolved.😂 We want the info, mate, giiiive.
(Obviously you have dark magic anti-spill powers.😂)
Hah! I love this. I’m totally a little Slytherin that would not fight my own battles…yeah, no. I’d probably die right away. And I most certainly am not storming out if someone is finally confessing something. Give me the details, dangit! Oh, and when it comes to American parents giving their kids cars and all sorts of stuff? I mean, it’s common if you have the money, but that’s most definitely not my family. lol
-Lauren
*hi fives* RELATE.😂 I mean why stab someone yourself when you can manipulate someone else into doing it?! I’m so for that.😂I’d get on fine in the Harry Potter world, I’m sure.
I’m kind of thinking the so-many-rich-Americans thing is thanks to books and media and not necessarily real life haha!
I would be a totally horrible superhero. I just can’t do on-call–it’s too stressful. Plus, I don’t see myself leaving dinner halfway with food unfinished to go rescue some random being on a different planet from some monster that will definitely want to beat me up XD
Brittany @ Brittany’s Book Rambles
YES EXACTLY RIGHT!?? We have priorities. We have needs too. I would just be like “hold your lives together for 2 hours I need a nap” and that’d be the end of it. Chaos to the world, here we come.😂
Heyho, daisy chains! 🙂
Oh, this post had me laughing. Like pig snorts belly laughs laughing. 😀 I loved everything and can relate. Although I have to admit, I’m awesome at naming things. There is a reason why usually I get to name pets and not my sisters because if they do poor dogs are stuck with a name like Purper-Gurk for the rest of their lives. (Real example.)
My job in any novel could be identity forger. (Also I need a book with a sarcastic identity forger character who erases people who annoy him/her from all the databases or changes their birthcertificates to embarrassing names like Muffy McToto. ((sorry to all the Muffy McTotos out there. I needed a funny example. I mean not that your name is funny, Muffy, honestly. Nor embarrassing. Like….I’m not getting out of this one, huh?)))
And No 10 is also the best. I would totally doubt my s/o’s / friends/ family’s willingness for me to rescue them. I mean what if my efforts were for nothing. They always said they would choose the darkside. I mean the cookies are tempting even though I wouldn’t be so keen on being thrown in a lava pit by my teacher/best friend/brother? I don’t know their life? (I should probably. Dammit…)
Okay, I’m sorry for all this rambling at this point. I am high on stress and caffein. 😛 Have a great day/night/time, dear Cait.
LG, m
I’m so glad it made you laugh!!😂😂 And ahh why are names so hard?! I change my characters names like 42 times per manuscript and still end up crying over it. I’m only proud of my dog’s name (Atticus Bean!) because I spent like 4 years coming up with it, hahah.
And like what if we weren’t SURE they needed rescue??? Everyone in books seems so sure.😂I’d be lost in indecision.
Yup I definitely don’t understand the skipping food thing-like if I’m not fed at regular intervals, then I get SERIOUSLY HANGRY. Why do book characters never get hangry? It’s a thing people. It’s funny you mention the name thing, because my MC in my WIP actually changes her name! I wouldn’t personally do it, I like my name, although if I ever become an author I’m not sure if I’d go full name, nickname or initials. People who wake up in the morning and have perfect hair? Like totally can’t relate. I’m also with you on the clumsy thing, like if I go a day without spilling food or tripping up, it’s a good day! My parents are pretty generous, but they definitely wouldn’t give me absolutely anything I asked for. I have to say I can relate to the witty comebacks thing, b/c I have been known to always have a snarky comment at the ready, but not so much the storming out in the middle of a argument/conversation. Like if you leave before its over how do you get to have the last word? (I’m one of those people who always needs the last word).
Saaame though. Like no one gets hangry in books it’s unbelievable. (I literally have an entire scene in my book dedicated to being hangry BECAUSE I RELATE DANGIT.😂😂)
Ahh that’s cool that your MC does a name change! And honestly deciding an author name is so hard.😂I always wanted to go with CG Drews but then thought maybe I should have my name on there?! It was such a crisis when I was querying, I swear. haha.
You need to teach me the instant-snarky-replies magic now for sure though.😂
Well as a trans person I literally had to pick a new name for myself.. Permanently!! Stressful, and my friends recommended a lot, but I’ve used my new name for about 2 years and I am still loving it!
I can imagine how stressful it’d be!! Especially getting the right name! I’m really happy you settled on one you still love though. 😀
I spill a lot of things on myself, food, water, coffee, my books, my phone… It’s very sad, yes. And, wow, I LOVED this post SO MUCH !!! I’d like to change my name… but at the same time I don’t want to change my name. Like, I don’t mind using my own name but I do mind using my own name (?!?!) I’m just… super weird. And I’ve been thinking already about other names… But I’m so confused !! #TeenagerProblems And, hum, now that I think about it, I have to go and make some of my characters clumsy… I’ll work on it. BTW, SO EXCITED FOR ATPN TO COME OUT!! (perhaps I already said that but just in case) !!
Your name is so nice!! And unique too?! I haven’t heard of it before I met you haha, I love it. Aaaand making characters a bit clumsy is actually really fun. I just did it in my latest wip and ended up being adorable and endearing. I’M GETTING FEELS OVER SPILLED CAKE CRUMBS.
I think I would fight in a dark fantasy adventure…
and the running out in middle of an argument.. that is soo truee.. I have no idea how they do that…
and yes.. witty comebacks are just… makes me wanna ask “what kind of magic does your brain do to come up with that?”
changing names is soo easy in books..if I were to choose I would do something like how Phoebe did when she named herself “Princess Consuela Banana-hammock”
And walking out when their parents are sooo nice to them while talking about something .. If it was me, you could pretty much be sure that I will be murdered.
something else that I don’t understand is that they are not scared of rats or anything like that…
At least you’d survive the dark fantasy adventure!😂 Haha. And even like if the people lying to you were MEAN, if they’re confessing, I’d still want to know without storming out!!😂
Ooh can I get an invitation to that other dimension? Sounds pretty cosy.
YES THANK YOU
How the hell do they go without all that delicious food? Like step aside romantic interest I wanna smooch my food 😍😍😍
And yes I always come with witty comebacks years later than needed and even then they only seem to sound good in my head 😛
And yes YA parents are messed up. My mom won't give me an extra key of the house, let alone my own car or a million dollar swimming pool and shit. Nope, still here sharing a dumpster with my sister.
And yesss me not spilling food=magnus bane not wearing glitter
It is literally my trademark to spill anything and everything I eat. I murder all the napkins when I eat at a restaurant 😂😂😂
NGL I was nodding and laughing throughout, but then that last bit, I just had a mental image of you sending someone a note with the boxes to tick and I lost it, thanks.
I can’t stop laughing now.
I’m so glad it made you laugh 😂😂
One thing I’ve noticed, is that fictional women just never seem to have periods, which breaks my brain a bit. I mean, about every four weeks, I have have few days of bloating and bitchiness, followed by one day where I am just a withing ball of pain, followed by another 4 days of discomfort. Maybe people don’t like to talk about it (like how fictional characters never get diarrhea 🤨), but if I read a story where I follow a woman’s life for a few months I’m I little peeved that I just never see even references to that experience. I mean, I’m sorry, but I’m out of commission 1 day a month. Utterly useless. In fact I was actually quite charmed when the main character in one of my favorite manga actually had a moment during a meal with her traveling companions/guards (6 men), as well as a foreign princess and her own staff, when she was mortified to realize she had unexpectedly started her period and wasn’t prepared. The princess noticed her discomfort, realized the reason, and covered for her. It was just such a relatable moment in a story that is mostly fantastic.
It would just be nice to have more stories that at least mentioned that part of the female experience.
How come in all the books I read the characters are PERFECT! HOWWWWWW?! I mean C.G. Drews is right, they never fall, spill, or trip. NEVER! Not possible. Authors characters need to seem realistic and actually HUMAN.