Everyone knows writers are odd little creatures. They burrow themselves in fantastical worlds, their bloodstream is caffeine, and they simultaneously hate and love killing characters. WRITERS ARE WEIRD. And easily frustrated. There are hundreds of lists on what not to say to your resident writer in case they a) hate you, b) grind their teeth, or c) despair of your intelligence, or d) kill off a character you love.
So what CAN we say to writers that won’t cause them to screech in agony??
Do not despair. I’m here to help. (I’m awfully wonderful like that.) I have a list of things you should (and regularly) say to writers to make them love you…or at least tolerate your existence.
1. “YOUR WRITING IS SO INCREDIBLE I’M GOING TO REREAD IT UNTIL MY COPY FALLS APART AND THEN I’M GOING TO STICKY-TAPE MY COPY BACK TOGETHER AND SLEEP WITH IT UNDER MY PILLOW.
You should definitely say this to writers. It’s all very well and good to say “I like your book” but what does that even mean these days?! Do you “like” it meaning you’re mildly interested? Or do you “like” it as in you’re going to marry the book and sleep with it clutched to your chest?
So use this phrase (word for word, okay?) and make sure writers know EXACTLY what you mean.
2. “I KNOW YOU’RE WRITING AT THIS MOMENT, SO I’M GOING TO NOT TALK TO YOU.”
Bless you, BLESS YOU. Because, surprisingly, no, writers do not like someone blathering in their ear while trying to work.
3. “HERE, I BOUGHT YOU YOUR FAVOURITE SNACK, AND I’M WILLING TO BE YOUR SLAVE AND MAKE YOU ANY SNACK YOU LIKE, SO HERE’S A LITTLE SILVER BELL TO RING WHEN YOU NEED A REFILL OF MINI RASPBERRY CREAM CHEESECAKES.”
This phrase is like singing the golden song of the nations. Writers will ADORE you when you commit to their stomach’s enslavement. Books don’t pop onto the screen by willpower alone. They’re fuelled by delicious snacks or coffee or tea. Basically, don’t even talk unless you’ve got an offering of food.
4. “I’M IN AWE OF YOUR TALENT, PASSION AND COMMITMENT OF BEING A WRITER.”
It’s not an easy job, okay?! Writing is finicky. Some days you can’t even force it, which can really put back the daily quota wordcount. And plus it’s exhausting. Writers literally live THOUSANDS of lives! It’s like acting, but you have to be all the characters. This takes passion, and a ton of commitment. And, gee, if someone accuses you of being talented, don’t knock it.
5. “YOUR SADISTIC WRITING BROKE MY HEART AND MADE ME SOB, YOU HORRIBLE GUAVA BRAIN.”
Trust me, writers WANT to hear this. There are only two things writers like (aside from writing) and they are a) knowing their writing hurts people, and b) making people cry.
Fact: writers drink tears of readers for breakfast, with a side-dish of pure heartbreak.
6. “OH YOU FINISHED THAT DRAFT OF YOUR NOVEL? WE SHOULD CELEBRATE! LET ME TAKE YOU OUT FOR COFFEE AND CAKE AND PERHAPS BUY YOU A SMALL ISLAND IN THE BAHAMAS IN CONGRATULATIONS!”
Finishing a book is HUGE! And it totally gets brushed over with a “well, good job” when really, writers should be celebrated for each and every draft. Although, I admit, if you buy an island after ever draft you’re liable to have a busy life of island-management ahead of you (especially if you write a lot of drafts).
7. “ARE YOUR CHARACTERS MISBEHAVING? WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?”
Don’t say this unless you DO want to talk about it…but, honestly, there is unimaginable healing in talking about a problem. If a writer is stuck in the worst block of their life, sometimes talking through it will fix the problem. Writers just want you to listen. Maybe comment. Mostly listen. You should probably bring more snacks though. And who are we kidding? DON’T TALK, JUST LISTEN.
8. “I SHIP SO-AND-SO.”
YOU ARE SHIPPING CHARACTERS IN THEIR BOOK?! Ohhhh, it is a GLORIOUS morning. For starters it means you care about the characters and you’re seeing potential matches and chemistry which means…the writer is doing it right. HUZZAH. And it’s also amusing when you ship the wrong person. The writer can sit back and chuckle quietly while preparing canons to sink your ship.
9. “I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR BOOK, TO THE POINT WHERE IT’S KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT BECAUSE I’M OBSESSING ABOUT THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHARACTERS.”
There may be gleeful, sinister laughs involved after this phrase coming from writers. But this is a grossly underused phrase and, honestly, memorise it now so you’ll have it on hand to use when your author-acquaintance is around.
10. “WHEN YOUR BOOK IS PUBLISHED I’M GOING TO BY, LIKE, 3 COPIES, AND THEN I’M GOING TO BUY ALL MY FRIENDS COPIES, AND THEN I’M GOING TO BUY A FEW BACK UP COPIES AND JUST THINK EVERY CHRISTMAS TIME I’M GOING TO GIFT EVERYONE YOUR BOOKS.”
Oh. YES. Writers love you, they do, particularly if you’re a friend or family. But they will love you even more if you give them money. And why buy one copy when you can buy 9?
Now I hope you’ve learn some valuable lessons from this post. Obviously you know not to say crippling things like “why aren’t you published yet” and “your book is dumb” and “I’ll always like Sarah J Maas better than you”. DON’T SAY THOSE THINGS. Use my list. Use it lavishly and liberally. Keep those little writers typing because what would we DO if they stopped?! Keep the writers happy! GO FORTH AND SUPPORT THE WRITERS EMOTIONS.
want to add to my list?! what are some other phrases that you should definitely say to writers? ADD THEM IN THE COMMENTS. also: which of these phrases do you like best?
Cait @ Paper Fury
…is currently plotting a book by lying on the floor and thinking about it. At least, she was thinking about it and then she just realised she was staring aimlessly at nothing with a blank brain. Oops. When not lying uselessly on the floor not-plotting, she’s thinking about braving Mistborn.
THIS IS AN EXCELLENT LIST. I intend to stick it the foreheads of every single person I know (especially the bit about snacks). Also, maybe collectively we could buy a small island in the Bahamas and use it for writing retreats?
I love this post Cait! I think I do some of these, but reading this has definitely given me some tips on how I can show my support for writers even more (especially with all those food-related gifts!). Authors are an inspiration, and I admire them for being able to write things which resonate so much with us readers. The work they put in and effort writers dedicate to their pieces is really something to admire. Thanks for sharing 🙂
MARRY ME NOW.
This is glorious. Writing is hard, but words like these totally make it worthwhile. Snacks are SOOOOO important, which is why my mother is the most important person to my writing process despite me refusing to let her read my drafts. So is support and encouragement, although I absolutely detest false praise. WE CAN FEEL IT IN YOUR WORDS. WE WRITE TOO MANY LIARS. But the shipping thing — so true. It makes my day when someone ships my characters, even if it’s not a canon ship.
Also, I second Emily’s proposition of buying an island together. I shall contribute the chocolate.
(As consolation for your floor-plotting, I once had a beautiful plot in the shower. By the time I got out and could write it down, I’d forgotten it. Although it MAY have been less beautiful once written down …)
My sister reads my drafts (she's like one of the only people who I let because NERVOUSNESS, OKAY?!!) she often ships my characters which gives me soooo many feels. BUT THEN SHE SHIPS SHIPS THAT AREN'T THERE. I'm partially horrified and partially flattered. x)Well, you are so definitely coming if you're bringing chocolate.
Alyssa,
I get my best ideas in the shower! I keep a grease pencil in there, and make notes on the shower walls.
Mmm, mini raspberry cream cheesecakes. I’ll see what I can do….
REALLY?!!
I love this list … but I think I need to add one to it:
“Hello, I get that writing is an all-consuming task that allows for very little in way of house cleaning (unless you’re suffering severe writer’s block, and I can tell that’s not the case.) Would you like me to come by and tidy some things up for you. For free?”
Because, sure, the author friend will hear the unspoken “your house is a mess” but you’ll be offering a solution! That doesn’t detract from their precious writing time!
And, then there’s the all important:
“Your book inspires me so much – I’ve drawn fan art!”
Of course, you must have actual fan art to show the writer, but she’ll certainly love you forever. Because even if you get everything wrong (Uh … I thought I’d specified that Carlos was skinny with red hair …) you still took the time to show how much they love your book.
And, when applicable (i.e. the writer’s goal with writing is to make people laugh and/or inspire people with their writing) you need to have this speech ready:
“I couldn’t stop laughing – real, literal laughing! People were looking at me strange because I was laughing so hard, and I couldn’t explain, because your book isn’t published yet! Please tell me you’re going to publish soon, because I want to share this with everyone. Also, I’m now going to go into the world and save all the penguins, because I know now that I need to be a better person!”
You can tweak this one as applicable, but do let them know that you fully appreciated their humor, and it did inspire you. A word of caution, however, don’t confuse typos with humor. Your writer friend will not appreciate that.
WELL, HECK YES TO ALL OF THESE. I particularly like that last one. That is the best. compliment. ever.
OH YEAH. I’m a half writer (I mostly write short stories) and whenever I tell people about them (nervously) they don’t here because I choose moments when they are distracted and there are lound noises of bad internet connections. Encouragement is great though 🙂 I like 3 and 10, and I would totally buy your books. Also, I want the raspberry tarts. Stop making me hungry, Cait!
YOU ARE STILL A WRITER. You're a writer if you write, so totally own that title!! 😉 ANYWAY. YES. But come on. My sole purpose in life is to make people hungry. CHEESECAKE. I''m having a craving. xD
I love five, six and nine! It would make my day if somebody said that to me!
Also, always tell writers:
“I wish I could live in the worlds you created, because they’re so much better than the real world”
ZOMG. YES. That would be fantastic! Except, to be honest? I wouldn't want to live in any of my books. xD HAHA.
Excellent list, especially #2. Actually, I’d like it if people didn’t talk to me about my writing. I do it all day, so I’d rather focus on something else when other people are around.
Yes and yes and yesssss. Or ask me when I'm finished a draft or (worse) when it's getting published. *laughs till cries forever*
Hahaha!!!! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT!
ESPECIALLY
I AM SO GLAD.
“I know that you’re writing at the moment, so I’m not going to talk to you.”
Yes, please! I hate, hate, hate it when people decide that seeing me sitting at the computer typing away is the best time to ask me every single question they can think of. It’s unbelievably annoying, and it gets even more annoying when you’re at the library and it’s a stranger asking you why you’re pounding away like a madman.
This post is gold, Cait, and all of these should become a social norm.
IT IS RIDICULOUSLY ANNOYING, I AGREE. Worse is when they sneak up and try to read what you're writing. *has minor heart attack* I can't write if someone is looking at me. I CAN'T FUNCTION IF PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME. Yes. Yes I have problems.We need this as social norm asap. I want cheesecake. Also an island.
THIS IS PERFECT, CAIT. Especially number 2! Actually, no, never mind–ALL OF THEM.
Patient listeners are a must. It’s a bonus when they can also double as brainstorm partners. It’s a double bonus when they’re writers too, so they understand where you’re coming from. (My brother is a fabulous fit for all three.)
Oh, and something NOT to tell writers: “Don’t you think your editor is being too hard on you?” Because, um, NO, my editor is helping me turn this pitiful mess into something I can be proud to publish someday soon! XD (That one sort of ties in to the part about not asking, “So, when are you getting published?” Messy question, that one.)
WE MUST MAKE THESE THE SOCIAL NORM. Because CAKE. And ISLANDS. Also SILENCE. *flails*Oh my gosh, YES. I have a sister who is all three. When she's, you know, around. She doesn't write so much anymore, but she always “gets” my writing and it. is. so good. I would die if I didn't have a brainstorm partner. XDOH YES. That editor one = yes.
LOL, I love this post 🙂 Actually, I often use #5 and #9 after reading truly spectacular book. I think authors need to know when their book touched me deeply and I always try to tell them via social media.
They do!! I think it's important to tell authors this because they know they're doing something right!!
All of these are so wonderful and soooo perfect, but 6, 7, and 9 are my favorites. 2 is really really useful as well…okay I give up ALL OF THEM ARE MY FAVORITES OKAY? But seriously, we writers are a strange bunch, but we still need some appreciation now and again. And some tortured squeals of story-inflicted pain… hehe.
WE DO NEED THIS KIND OF APPRECIATION. Every writer wants to know their work is torturous. :') Music to our ears.
YES YES BRAVE MISTBORN! DO IT! It is the best trilogy ever! And I want to see your review of it, but it is more important that you READ IT!
I WILL REVIEW IT. Not sure if it'll get on the blog?!! I usually review ARCs instead of library books buuuut IT IS ON MY SHELF WAITING FOR ME. XD heeh.
Five and six are the best points! I mean, why do you personally write? I do it because I want to make myself and other people feel, and if I can’t make them feel good things… well, what’s left *evil grin*. And finishing a draft takes time and effort and dedication and chocolate. I look at writers like Rick Riordan and Maggie Stiefvater who’ve written LOADS of books and wonder how many drafts they’ve gotten through… and then my brain explodes.
Personally, with my current WIP, I’d be happy for one person to tell me “I laughed”, another to say “I cried” and a third to say “It was cute”. Seriously. That’d make my life. I have small aspirations.
Feeling sad things is sooo much more rewarding than feeling good things. HAHAHA JUST KIDDING. (No, but really. I do want my writing to make someone cry someday. #ultimatesadisticdream) Awk. Yes, can you imagine it?! There fingers must be super fit. Can fingers even get fit? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. What even is new.
Ah YES! I need to print this out manifesto style and pin it on my bedroom door. Maybe that is too much? But this is just so lovely. Number six is definitely my favorite. Sometimes I just wish someone around me would recognize how much WORK goes into a draft of a novel. And then when I tell them about some milestone I reach, instead of saying Yaay here is a high-five now let me go to living real life again, they actually help me celebrate. That would be the dreamiest thing ever.
I need to print it out and plaster it in all my family's faces so they know what to say to me when I start my new book draft. x) SO MUCH WORK GOES INTO EVERY DRAFT. We should never never eeeever just get “oh good on ya”. WE SHOULD GET CONFETTI AND CHOCOLATE AND, YES, SMALL ISLANDS IN THE BAHAMAS.
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH.
Thank you. THANK YOU. This post is soooooooooo good. I particularly like the point about buying islands for people who have finished drafts. Because yep, it’s hard. Writers just deserve more love y’know?
“Wow. You’re incredible” is another one to add…but I think it’s implied. 😀
We do deserve SO MUCH LOVE. Islands and cheesecake. I mean, it's not like I'm making wild demands.
Definitely the one about reassurance. Sometimes I’m like “OH MY GOD MY WRITING SUCKS I NEED TO QUIT” Having someone to say otherwise sounds a little vain but tbh, I think I need it. That’s why I post my work on Wattpad.
I have this weird thing where I like to write by candlelight. So there’s nothing on except my laptop and a burning [banana bread pudding] candle.
Wattpad is kind of seriously awesome for posting. xD I WANNA DO MORE OF IT. I just have to be courageous, hehe. Writing by candelight? THAT IS SO COOL. I want.
The characters misbehaving one got me. It’s so true!
Also, the “don’t-bother-me-if-I’m-writing” one. A lot of people don’t seem to understand that.
Whyyy is it so hard to understand?! THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW XD
You are a saint interceding between writers and nonwriters everywhere. There are things on this list I should learn to say to people! The only other thing I would include would be “I love ya no matter what” because it’s nice to have people who love you independently of your writing career also. 🙂
Omg, yes, that is a totally wonderful one. Particularly if your writing really does suck for a while and you still need encouragement to write better and just continue on the path to awesomeness. xD YES THIS
BAHAHAHAH Yes! This! Because if I were the one writing, all of this would totally make my day!!!
IT WOULD. Cheesecake. And islands.
“As a blogger, I’m going write volumes about your book and how much I love and talk about it none stop to everyone I meet.”
YOU WIN THE UNIVERSE.
Bahaha, this list is totally the best thing ever, Cait! I would love to hear people tell me all of these, especially all the ones where they praise me and offer cake. And a small island in the Bahamas would be pretty badass. I could do all my writing and reading there. ;D
As long as said island has WiFi right?!
I adore this list. I am going to write #1 on my hand, and use it to cheat when I meet authors at BEA. Because I am scared to meet authors. I have never met an author. And I am afraid I am going to throw up on authors or something. So yes, number 1. And totally number 10! You kind of have the biggest pre order audience ever- we are going to buy your books in DROVES. Everyone I know will get your book for all holidays and if they already have it, I’ll get them an international edition. Don’t you worry.
I want someone to say “hey, it’s okay that you don’t have any plot at the moment, you will absolutely have a plot very soon, and if not, then maybe you can just write a book about NOT having plots, and it will be groundbreaking and all the people will cheer and you will get to take selfies with attractive Hollywood types too!” Yes, that.
OMG YES TO YOURS. That needs be on my list immediately. And, gosh, I can't imagine meeting an author. How does one speak to them? Do they do words like we do words? Do they understand awkward head bobbing and gushing? HOW DOES ONE APPROACH AN AUTHOR ANYWAY?? OMG. SO MANY QUESTIONS. When you get back from BEA I demand a post on how-to-interact-with-authors-without-puking-on-them, okay?
You are not going to puke! Writers are just people. Half of them are going to be ready to puke because they are so freaking shy that getting them into that big room with all those people… The other half will be friendly, outgoing, and thrilled to meet you. (That’s why they are there! And the shy ones are going to be just as thrilled when they get over being super shy. They will be the ones blathering back at you.)
It’s a lot like school. There will be that little crowd. That’s because they knew each other and they probably been to this stuff a dozen times. They are seasoned at the meet and greet stuff.
Just remember all authors are a weird bunch. We have voices that talk to us! The difference is we take dictation. They might chew their nails, but they aren’t going to eat your fingers! They are simply people. Some are single, some are married, and some have been divorced five times. They have children or they don’t. They are highly educated, or they aren’t. Most probably still have day jobs. They are pharmacists, insurance adjusters, teachers, stay-at-home-mothers, dentists, fitness trainers, paralegals, retired military, professional photographers, truckers, and a few work at Walmart.
Just go and have fun! Say hi, get some autographs! Take a little hardbound book- something tiny that will fit in your pocket and collect autographs! And get photos of you with as many as you can! You never know which one of those unknowns will be the next Nora Roberts!
That’s it. It’s decided. I am going to send a copy of this post to EVERYONE in my family. 😉 Haha, I second Emily; an island in the Bahamas is EXACTLY what we need. (That and an endless supply of chocolate.)
A CHOCOLATE ISLAND. That solves everything.
No. 5 – I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE TELLS ME THAT ON MY BLOG! 😀 😀 😀
But yeah, definitely, all of this! xD
These things should be said MORE OFTEN. **nods emphatically**
YES YES YES THIS IS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT CAIT!!!
I love it when a reader tells me that I broke their heart. Or scared them. Or that they ship it. Basically, if I cause an emotion, I love it!
Causing emotion is like the ULTIMATE DREAM. Laughter, tears, shipping, WHATEVEr. I JUST WANT TO BE THE CAUSE OF IT.
Great list!
This would have been helpful before I had to meet and talk with Maria V. Snyder. 😀
Seriously, though great job!
Omg, you met Maria V Snyder! HOW FANTASTICALLY AWESOME. (I haven't met an author yet…XD Bucket list!)
(Help, I’m having de ja vu! I swear I’ve read this post before, but I’m probably just thinking of the parallel to this one. Or fandoms have melted my brain and I have officially gone insane.)
*FLAILING.* I would flip my freaking lid if anyone told me these things about my books! In fact, I have grinned like an idiot and celebrated with ice cream when my amazing friends have read my stories and said things like this. But if someone shipped my characters (especially as a couple that’s not canon), I think I would make a pterodactyl screeching noise. (Excellent gif choice, by the way. xD )
I would add things like, “I could totally see this as a movie” and “I would cast so-and-so as [character name here].” I have literally had dreams about seeing my stories on the big screen with my favorite actors and actresses.
YOU PROBABLY HAVE. See I posted it last week on accident and took it down because I'm a cucumber brain like that. SO YES. I don't think you're going insane. xD It's meeeee.
I LOVE THIS LIST!!!!
Especially 1, 6, 9 and 10. 🙂 Just thinking about anyone doing that to me makes me grin my face off. 🙂
I don’t have that much of a fanbase. Just my sibs so far. But someday…. someday….
Hehe, siblings make fantastic fans but omgggg…yes, it will be a glorious day when we're FAMOUS WRITERS.
CLEARLY 3) is my favorite. Although I have to admit reader’s tears are THE BEST reaction. CRY, minions …ahem, readers, CRY. 😀
It's my ultimate writing dream to make people cry. NO WAIT. THAT IS MEAN, CAIT, VERY MEAN.
#1 and #6 are my favourite. You, my dear Cait, know how to translate the mind of the writer very well. And lying on the floor definitely counts as plotting. Sometimes I just lie on my bed and my thoughts flit from character to character to plot to setting, but then I still get frustrated with myself for not writing it down. Oh well.
Lovely post!
Do you sometimes fall asleep while lying around plotting?! BECAUSE I DO. It's very embarrassing. Well, okay, not embarrassing, but FRUSTRATING. I wake up and still have no plot. -_-
It is my DREAM to have someone ship my characters. YES.
Also, “YOUR SADISTIC WRITING BROKE MY HEART AND MADE ME SOB, YOU HORRIBLE GUAVA BRAIN.”
That is also a writerly dream of mine. But of course. We live for tears and broken hearts and mislaid hope.
My dad is fantastic for talking to about my characters. He’s not a literary guy, but he’s a fantabulous listener. I have no clue if he has any idea what I’m talking about, but he’ll pretend, and that’s what matters. By rambling to him about my writerly problems, they sort out easier in my head.
We do. And I'm not even ashamed. Though, ya know, I don't want to be the next George RR Martin though because I spend all of his books going, “Omg a cool character! Um, don't get attached don't get attached…” AND THAT'S PAINFUL. I just want to be like…sad and scary but not THAT sad and scary. Your dad is epic. ^-^ My sister is the one who nods along to whatever I'm blathering about.
I agree with writers liking to make readers cry through their work, because I feel like that would be a kind of magical thing to do to someone, one day. I mean, we’re writing such powerful stuff that makes us emotional, so if it effects someone else, who didn’t create and nurture these characters, then that’s clearly not something to be coy with. More like it’s something you should hold above your head like a trophy filled with ginger beer.
Oh yes. Shipping the wrong person. That can be so hilarious. I love that. Especially when I know the secrets of what will happen and, yes, can laugh quietly.
Number 6 is brilliant, also, because I always love to celebrate after finishing a draft. It’s a magical time. So celebrate! Cook all the things!
MWHAHAH WE ARE INFLICTING EMOTIONS ON PEOPLE. THE POOOOWER. *calms psychotic inner writer* But also, yes, shipping wrong people is partially horrifying and hilarious. Also I write insanely bad romances where one side always dies, so my sister is continually thinking up “better” ships. xD
Well done! Also… buy* 🙂
OMG. EPIC TYPO. *burrows into corner of shame*
This is perfect. I love this! I wish more people would say these things to me lol. Thanks for making this list!
storitorigrace.blogspot.com
We should print this out and like give it to family/friends, amirite?! So now they know how to speak to us. *nods*
As a writer, and one who just finished a book that she HOPES people will love when it debuts on May 29 2015, I can agree to this post wholeheartedly! Especially the “I ship it” comment. Please, ship characters!
OMG. CONGRATS ON YOUR BOOK!!! SO CLOSE TO ITS BIRTHDAY!! *showers you with confetti*
Love this post!
HUZZAH!
#10 needs a small correction.
Ooops. Heh. I see. XD
Best one I got:
“You bitch! I was supposed to study for my finals but couldn’t put your book down!”
I think that I like the shipping one. I live for ships.
I THINK IT’D BE GREAT IF SOMEONE SAID
omg Renee I ship Ryan and Bethany SOOOOO MUCH!!! CAN THEY JUST KISS ALREADY!!!!
I’d be like
OMG *grabby hands* LET ME LOVE YOUUUUUUU!!!! (and then yes, literally break into song)
I would like to add this one:
“Is there a second one?”
BECAUSE YES I WOULD LOVE TO KEEP WRITING THIS AWESOME WORLD OF MINE (hang on just gotta think of a plot) AND CHARACTERS ARE LIKE CHILDREN AND ARJHALFKJHSALKDFJSH I WILL GLADLY WRITE FOR YOU!!!!
Also, if anyone ever made fan art of my writing. *falls down in happiness* That would be Life with a capital L. 😀
Thanks for sharing Cait, and good luck with continuing to write your novel!!! WHOOOO!!!!
xoxo
OMG THE “IS THERE A SECOND ONE” WOULD BE EPIC AND AWESOME AND TRULY NEEDS BE ON THIS LIST. I would flail and collapse with happiness if someone said that to me. :')
I once tried to explain 2 to a dear male. “Writing can’t be interrupted”, I said, “it takes 100% concentration. Just imagine if you were painting a car” – he does that – “and someone started talking to you…”
He, in horror: “You can’t interrupt someone when they’re painting a car!”
I would love to hear #1 and #10!
As for the snacks, I’m not big on raspberry anything, but you give me a supply of Banana Pudding, I might consider writing you as the hero of my next book!
MMMMMM…. Naner Pudin…. (*salivates on keyboard*)
— John
Great now I want cheesecake! And a good ship!
“…There are only two things writers like (aside from writing) and they are a) knowing their writing hurts people, and b) making people cry.
Fact: writers drink tears of readers for breakfast, with a side-dish of pure heartbreak…”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Yes!! This is so, so, so true! We’re an evil lot 🙂
Fun post!
I know you didn’t aim any of these in MY direction, specifically, but even vicariously I am sitting here and grinning and saying “Bless you”. (PS – anyone who calls me guava brain in these circumstances is more than welcome…)
The stress relief I needed today! Thank you!
I love your various gifs! Especially the one of Sam (because that episode was hilarious) and I will fall over the day anyone utters any of these to me. Personally, I would add, “you worry about writing while I build a library wing and a private office to your house.” I’d also add in gratuitous massages somewhere. That’s just me. Great post! 🙂
This is a fantastic list, and for me, especially the bit about “talking about it” during a writer’s block. I suffered the worst block in my life in 2013-2014 due to a number of terrible things, and my writing faltered. My whole life faltered. But all my readers saw was pushed-back release dates. That’s hard on many levels. It’s hard because it offers no incentive to keep writing. You just sort of feel like, “Why should I write for ingrates? Why should I care? They don’t deserve it.” It’s also hard because though you’re surrounded by thousands of “friends,” you know you’re actually well and truly alone. You are the readers’ drug dealer. Nothing else. All they want from you is your salable words. Not a damn thing else. So – yes. I liked that one a lot. And if anyone ever asks me if I’d like to talk about my writer’s block, I’m going to thank them wholeheartedly, and if they’re in front of me, give them a kiss.
One I would add to this list? This one: “I love not only your book, but your writing style. I love the way you see things and think about things and describe them. What else have you written so that I can branch out and experience all of the colors of your rainbow and not just Romance Red?” Because let’s face it. There are only so many sex scenes an author can create without gagging. At this point, it feels like trying to find different ways to describe eating a sandwich. I can write a LOT of different genres – and I HAVE written a lot of different genres, in everything from young adult to fantasy to contemporary thrillers, and all of them have been bestsellers in their own categories. But most of my readers wouldn’t know it. It’s a constant reminder of how limited humanity can be, and that’s frankly depressing. It would just be SO nice if people would take a moment to broaden their minds a TEENSY bit and attempt to enjoy a few more of them once in a while. Plus, if their audiences would try reading more of what their authors had to offer, then many writers wouldn’t get so burned out on the same-old, same-old, and that afore-mentioned writer’s block might not come around for so many of us as often as it does.
#6 I would love it if someone brought me a snack or a meal so I didn’t have to stop working. Great list!
The best thing anyone said to me was: You’re that author right? *hands me a copy of my book* Can you sign this? Child, I’m ninety years old so I might miss it, but you are going to be famous and I will leave this to my grandchildren. Haha. Yep, made my day.
Head still floating in the clouds, I went home to start the next book. People chattered at me while I pounded my keyboard. And no coffee was brewing. I didn’t even have a six-pack ab smexy holding a tray with snacks! What the?
I adored your post. You made me laugh so hard I cried. So enjoy drinking my tears. You earned em. Giggle!
Especially #5 . . .best compliment I could receive!!
What about:
I won’t have any special events like birthdays, Christmas, Hannukah, anniversaries, leaving parties, family get togethers, while you’re in the middle of your book.
Or:
Yes, I’d love to listen while you read it aloud to get the sound of it, and no, I won’t fall asleep while you’re reading.
SO MUCH YES. Your description below number 5 is basically me. Like, entirely me. I may or may not have told people that my life is not complete until I have made them cry.
Also, I let one of my CPs read the first 100 pages of my WIP, and she tweeted me how much she loved it AND INCLUDED A HASHTAG FOR THE TWO LEADS. She seriously portmontaeued the guy and his love interest and MADE ME A HASHTAG. I may or may not have legit started crying when I saw it. I still tear up thinking about it, to be honest…
This gave me a good laugh this morning so thank you! And you should definitely brave Mistborn. It’s super long, but seriously one of the best series I have ever read. 🙂
I’m officially 50% through! EXCITED. I love the character development so far. x) Bit worried Kelsier is going to get everyone killed though… >.>
My daughter in law’s father actually said something like this to me, “I’M IN AWE OF YOUR TALENT, PASSION AND COMMITMENT OF BEING A WRITER.” Bless him.
THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU HAVE FANTASTIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. WELL DONE.
YES!! This is pure perfection. Thank you. =)
AWK. Thank you!
How about “no, I wasn’t sleeping, please continue explaining the development of this minor character. In bed. With the light on. At 3am.”
That is absolutely perfect and wonderful and yes.
No 5 is so true. Every time someone says, “How could you DO that, you bastard? Hadn’t he suffered enough? I cried my heart out,” I hear another angel sing.
They are such glorious words. :’)
Best post EVER!
EEp! THANK YOU.
I love #4! Keep up the writing! Can’t wait to buy your first bestseller!
Missie @ A Flurry of Ponderings
I can’t wait to sell said bestseller.x DXD
You’ve passed one of the toughest hurdles: getting an agent. So now it’s just a question of working one of your manuscripts into something your agent can sell to a publisher. I speak from experience when I say that this can take a long time and demand a great deal of patience on your part. The process can be fraught with frustration (and often despair), but I can assure you it’s worth it. When you make that sale (and I’m sure you will), it’ll be one of those days you’ll mark down as being among the best in your life.
I’ve always been a shy and somewhat reclusive individual. I just like sitting in my room writing. But getting a book published traditionally and being paid a decent advance for my work has done wonders for my self-esteem and has made me look at myself differently. It has validated my writing and all those years I’ve spent learning the craft. Before, when I called myself a writer, I didn’t feel I’d truly earned that distinction; I never felt people took my writing seriously. Now, when I say that I’ve got a book published, I feel they regard me quite differently.
Take heart in the fact that I wrote several books before BECOMING DARKNESS. I never considered any of them worthy of being published (well, there was one, but that turned into a train-wreck because of a terrible publisher and we won’t speak of that here). Ultimately, I came to regard all those other manuscripts as practice for the real thing. They were training for the “big show” — a way in which to hone my skills for the real thing. I don’t regret the time I spent on them (which was a lot); I don’t consider those 2 million or so words a waste. There’s only so much you can learn in a classroom (although it doesn’t hurt to go to writing classes — I often wish I had, because I might have got published faster).
Read, write, and rewrite. Read the sort of material you’d like to write (but don’t by any means restrict your reading to that). Examine how other writers construct a story, a chapter, a paragraph, and a sentence. Learn from the best. And then write and rewrite and rewrite again and again. When you think you’re done, seek out people you know who will be ruthless and honest and tell you what works and what doesn’t. Listen to them. It may hurt — criticism usually does — but remind yourself that it’s all with the goal of making your book the best it can be.
My agent saw potential in BECOMING DARKNESS, but I had to rewrite the book from top to bottom before she would take me on. Her criticisms were painful at first, but when I sat back and looked at them objectively, I knew she was right, and the book was better for it.
Anyway, I urge you to keep writing and to persevere. You’ve written some drafts, so you’ve proved yourself capable of navigating the minefield of carry a story through to its end. Just keep going. The finish line isn’t that far away. And with that, I wish you the very best of luck, and I’ll be keeping my eye out for your debut novel.
Good luck!
Sincerely, and with warmest regards
Lindsay Brambles
This is super encouraging and seriously sweet! Thanks, Lindsay! Wise, wise words. I’ve rewritten my book top-to-bottom with my agent too. On subs now. ^-^
So happy to hear you’re in the submission stage. Agents are the first of the gatekeepers in the publishing industry, and these days, with so many people writing books and seeking to be published, they are pretty choosy about who they take on as clients. That you’ve landed an agent and she has worked with you on your book means she must be fairly confident she can find a home for it. If you’re lucky, it’ll happen quickly, and from there it’s onto working with the publisher’s editor. After that you get to have some fun — seeing the design of the cover for your book, talking to the publicist about promotion, going through the ARC stage and hearing early reaction to your work, and then, of course, the really big one: the day your book officially releases and you get to walk into a bookstore and see it on the shelves beside all those other authors. Glory!
All this is going to happen to you soon, so get prepared for some fun!
All the best!
Lindsay
Nooooo, Cait. No! This is not acceptable!
Do you go around congratulating bus drivers every time they finish a route? Do you clap each time they make a stop? Feed them upon each turn?
Or do you celebrate a politician after each pact they have closed? Do you tap their shoulder every time they sign something? Do you declare your unending love for them every time they pass a new law?
NO.
Why should live in writers be treated any different then?
Leave them alone. Let them do their job. And for god’s sake, don’t talk to them. Even if you have food to offer. Because even that one second it takes you to utter “cake?” may cost a characters live. ARE YOU WILLING TO LIVE WITH THE REPERCUSSIONS?
Oh. My. Gosh, where are all of these wonderful people with their amazing words? I’m stuck in the hardest part of writing right now, (you know, the part where you’re like “I’ve written 90 thousand words and it’s all crap!”) and I would kill for someone like this.
Take solace in the fact that one of the greatest writers of the twentieth century, Ernest Hemingway, always thought first drafts were terrible. The first draft is to get the ideas down on paper (usually metaphorically speaking, these days) as fast as you can. Later you go back and work out the kinks and sweeten the prose. I believe with A FARWELL TO ARMS Hemingway wrote and rewrote the ending something like 47 times. And I’m sure, despite his success, there were occasions when he was plagued with self-doubt.
If you really want to know where you stand with regard to the quality of your writing, you need to seek out people willing to give your work a genuine critique. It’s no sense in asking friends (they want to remain your friends, after all) or family members, because nine times out of ten they’re going to tell you every word is gold. Look for someone who won’t pull any punches and won’t hesitate to give it to you straight. That’s the only way you’re going to know whether or not you’re on the right path. It’s the only way you’re going to make your work the best it can be.
I can tell you, I go through doubting my work almost every day. I think for a lot of writers it’s simply something we have to live with. It’s just part of the process. So don’t fret it and just keep writing.
Lindsay Brambles
Thank you. It is hard, a lot of the times when you don’t think it’s worth anything- especially when it’s not because it’s just a first draft. I’m a big believer in the fact that there will always be ONE person in the world that loves what any given person has written, but all of the people around me have such different tastes in books it’s hard to think mine is worth anything knowing they’d hate it.
Haha, sorry, rambled a little there. How lame is that, getting my inspiration off random strangers on the internet?
Anyways, thanks for what you’ve said. I was in such a slump I’ve stopped writing completely. But you’ve really helped.
Brava! 😀
This list is perfect, and totally true! I’m a writer and have been doing quite well lately, but it’s a hard, demanding, stressful career, especially when you know you’re not going to be on a Bestseller list anytime soon. Receiving any one of these gives us more joy than we could ask for. Great list! 😀
I’m printing this out and putting it on my office wall… it is now the new rules for entering my domain!!!
“Just one word. Brilliant.”
I think the best thing I ever heard from a local fan was not that she couldn’t put the book down or that she cried at the end. Not that end was sad, because it wasn’t. It was:
‘If I had only realized sooner I would have slowed down reading it, because when I got to the end, it was over and I didn’t have anymore book to read.’
I love #6! This is a great post! I’m one of those lucky ones who does get to write without disturbances. But that also means if I want a snack I must go find it myself. LOL
Hahaha this is great!!! LOL I have never heard these things ever. But that’s okay, I normally have my own internal, quiet celebration when I achieve something with my writing. XD Great post Cait c:
Have I ever mentioned that I love you? *goes back to lurk in a definitely non-creepy way in the shadows*
Yes to all of these! I’m gonna have to forward this to everyone I know, as a backup plan for the next time we meet up.
Yes, we all need the reassurance and the snacks! The occasional island would be nice!!
Seriously, we all know you rock, Your Majesty. Keep up the good work.
I love this article! So much that I’m sharing it on the Facebook Page I run for writers. As a writer, I concur with all of these statements being my favorites! ~Magi [_P
Haha, this is SO true!! I so wish people said this to me all the time – number 5 is so spot on, and the cake one… Brilliant!! I LOVE THIS LIST AHH SO GOOD!!