Being a writer and a reader, I like to hang out with both crowds. It makes me cool. Ha! I’m just kidding! It’s interesting observing the insanity humans can create when you say, “Hey you, go write a story.” They go absolutely nuts. Fascinating.
But humans who write blogs and books NEED something.
They need minions.
Okay, okay, the politically correct term (I believe) is “readers”. You can even stretch that into “followers”. Apparently humans don’t like being addressed like “Come here, my minion, and grovel.” But whatever.
There’s no point writing a book/blog if nobody knows about it, right?
There are lots of ways to gather
minions readers. The easiest is blackmailing friends and family into following/buying. The hardest is making friends and relationships and earning trust and giving to people before you expect them to give to you. Phew. Intense.
But, (and I’m speaking as a minion right now…because I am a minion of many blogs and books), there are ways that really annoy us when bloggers/authors try and win our ultimate devotion.
1. Ignore their comments.
If you’re going to reply to comments, you need to reply to ALL of them. I don’t always remember to go to previous posts and read the replies to my comments (sometimes I do!)…but several times, I’ve been on blogs where they replied to most of the comments BUT SKIPPED MINE.
It made me feel small and useless. My comment wasn’t every interesting? At any rate, it wasn’t worth a reply to them.
2. Continually “invite” them to like your page on Facebook or enter your giveaway through Goodreads.
This is spam! It is! I get horribly frustrated when people continually ask me to “Like their Page on Facebook”. If I haven’t liked it up till now, I probably DON’T like it and therefore won’t “like” it. It is possible. I end up blocking them.
I love Goodreads. But I’m not fond of “recommendations” and “enter my giveaway” or “read my post” invites. (Unless I actually know you. Like I’ve chatted to you on twitter or Goodreads or blogs.) It’s these random people I don’t even know who ask for my attention. Why? Who are you? I probably don’t want to read that book and I don’t want to enter your giveaway for a book in a genre I don’t even read! (You’d know that, if you knew me.)
3. Always be updating your blog/facebook with the SAME news.
I love authors’ blogs and facebooks! I really do! I often click “like” on their facebook pages because it’s fun. They give updates about their characters and writing process, and funny things.
Buuuut, when those updates are the same. Day after day after day? It. drives. me. bonkers. I usually “unlike” the page.
I’m happy for them if their book is on the Amazon bestseller list. But when the post about it everyday for 17 days? Congrats on being on that list for so long…but seriously? I don’t really care after day 5. Maybe an update at day 30 or whatever. But just, everyday? Too much. This goes for word-count, enter-my-giveaway-for-the-millionth-time, vote-for-me-for-something and the normal ol’ “Have you bought my book yet? Here’s a link! Go do it!”
4. Tell them to leave you reviews.
Unless an author is giving away a book for free (for review or something), I’m in no way obligated to leave them a review. I’m not. It’s my right as a person. I spent the money. I bought the book. Do you see shoe companies plying me for reviews of their shoes? No.
Personally, I review books because I like to! It’s fun for me! I review library books and books that I buy, even though I don’t have to. I do it because a) I like the book, b) I want to share my opinion with my wonderful blogglings, and c) I like to blog.
But authors constantly saying “please leave me a review” gets old fast. I understand why they want a review. It helps them! But I just did help them by buying their book in the first place. All this “help me help me help me” mantra is very tiring. And I don’t think it’s fair on us, the readers.
5. Never ever talk to them directly.
This is for bloggers and authors. I understand everyone is busy. I understand it’s frustrating to have needy followers clawing at your back. But you know how I feel when I do my darnest to promote authors/bloggers and they NEVER talk to me? Never ever?
I feel bad.
It’s not hard to pop onto someone’s blog and leave a comment. It’s not hard to favourite a tweet or retweet a status that I’ve posted promoting YOU.
Authors/bloggers/aliens don’t have time to continually interact with their fans, I get that. But I sometimes think:
We have to be treated well or why should we stay?
I know I don’t have a massive blog and I haven’t reached World Domination Status yet (tomorrow, I promise…or maybe next week). But when I rule the world, I know it’s because you, my wonderful blogglings/minions/followers, have liked what I do and said, “Good stuff.” I’m already thanking you! And I always will thank you! (And I give virtual chocolate and things like that. That’s good right? You like that.)
And, also, I wrote this post because I AM A MINION of many blogs and authors. This is from the perspective of another minion. Who am I a minion of? The list is way too big to ever list, but I: watch the VlogBrothers, and follow EpicReads, and dedicatedly comment on authors blogs (like Steph Bowe and PubCrawl, and YA Highway, and Maggie Stiefvater). I follow hundreds of authors on twitter. And I’d list all my blog friends (this is YOU), but I’m terrified I’d leave someone out and that would be devastating for me.
Cait’s latest plan of world-domination developed a hole and she’s currently darning it and hiring new cloaks and boots to keep her minions happy. (They also like ice cream apparently.) She’s considering what her first step will be, as world leader, and she’s pretty sure it’ll involve National Cake Day. Currently, she’s reading Anna and the French Kiss.