It’s time to regale you with 7 reader shaped facts.
Which is actually a #bookstagram tag but I thought it would be a super fine blog post for whilst I’m on semi-hiatus due to lugging 14 boxes of books * across the continent. (YES STILL MOVING HOUSE AND I NEED AT LEAST 9 CAKES RIGHT NOW.) I also just wanted to use the word “regale” because it’s fun and makes me feel majestic. Also because I used to think “regale” and “regal” were the same word and I’m lowkey annoyed at the English language for being so unimaginative.
But let’s move forward. Because we can all agree English is a language that needs to be yelled at severely and perhaps beat up in a dark alley because it’s just so confusing. **
Let’s talk about our very very favourite topic: BOOKS. And if you want to snabble this tag, feel free! Just link it back to the bookstagram tag!
* I mean, I am moving OTHER STUFF. Not just books. Bowls and spoons for cake, for instance. Bookshelves. My surprisingly disturbing collection of odd socks and a CD player which has a way to play cassettes which makes it disturbingly antique. Oh and I think my family has a few things too. IDK. Not important.
** It’s my ONLY language, peoples. I’m allowed to snark at it. If I hurt its feelings, well so what? Maybe it’ll change its attitude.
1. BOOKS YOU’RE TOO LAZY TO READ?
This is the time when I confess guiltily that the answer to this is:
I notoriously procrastinate huge books. And while this is because they’re genuinely scary (hey you could kill a zombie or a small squirrel with a huge hardcover book!! Don’t deny the weaponisation risks!!) it’s also because I’m genuinely lazy too. Procrastination is an art okay? I am a glorious procrastinational artist. Plus I have lots of GOOD SOLID REASONS that I avoid certain books. And in case you’re new here and haven’t heard me whining about this topic before, here they are:
- it’s huge and am I ready for that kind of life commitment? I don’t think so. I’m just a child.
- I want to love it so SO SO BAD. But what if I don’t??? Ergo: avoid.
- It’s a hardcover and I don’t feel like getting my eye stabbed out if I drop it.
- not in the mood for that genre
- the cover offended me
- if I read it then I have to shelve it and I have no more shelf space
- It’s too far away and I can’t reach it.
- I’m lazy.
Here are some books that honestly the only reason I haven’t read them is no good reason at all. Laziness most likely.
I mean, The Wise Man’s Fear is 994 pages. Why read it when I could procrastinate it? #BookwormLogic
2. BOOK THAT MADE YOU SWOON?
It’s very unlikely that I’ll swoon over an actual person in a book. Because ew people. But there are SO many other things I’ll swoon over and here is a concise and loving list:
- Kell’s coat
- The wardrobe into Narnia.
- Lazlo Strange’s library and fairy tale books, including Miracles for Breakfast.
- The lost city of Weep, from Strange the Dreamer.
- STRANGE !! THE !!! DREAMER !! COVER !!
- (Okay stop, Cait, stoooop. You can at least pretend you’re not obsessed with it so much.)
- The Raven King cover.
- Blue Sargent’s house of millions of doors and rooms and oddness.
- Doctor Strange’s cloak.
- Newt Scamander’s suitcase.
- The bakery in The Crown’s Game.
- MY BOOKSHELVES.
- Any book with a map. All the maps. At least every single map of ever.
Oh the prize for this goes most definitely to A Conjuring of Light (#3) by V.E. Schwab. It was so perfect and so brutal on my feels and when I finished I kind of just sat there like a stabbed pumpkin that realises nothing is left in life except to become soup because THE BOOK IS OVER. THE SERIES IS OVER. HOW DO I EVEN.
I swear it took forever to give a book a high star rating afterwards.
People say good books are all fun and games but — nooooooooo. THEY CONSUME YOU AND THEN ALL OTHER BOOKS AFTERWARDS ARE BURNT TOAST.
When I’m asked for recommendations, my go-to-answer is always MAGGIE STIEFVATER BOOKS. Because they are perfect tomes of magic, oddness, imagination, sass, and beautiful writing that will melt your eyeballs.
I love them so much. SO MUCH and they’re truly the best books of my life.
Am I obsessed???
Anyway. I recommend Stiefvater books all. the. time. And you’re probably reading this on your lunch break after sorting files and beheading traitors as is your job for the Goblin King while you think, “But Cait. I have read the Stiefvater books. I have done what you asked. Is there nothing more for me????”
This is a good question. So I shall pause my shoutings of how the moon revolves around Stiefvater books and recommend you some more books to read if you like Stiefvater half to death like I do:
All the covers link to my reviews! And none of this books are exactly like anything Maggie Stiefvater writes???? Because she’s so so unique??? But they have a smidge of a resemblance. AND I LOVE THEM SO WHAT MORE ENCOURAGEMENT DO YOU NEED.
5. BOOK YOU WILL ALWAYS REREAD?
I’m not an avid rereader because my TBR gives me the death glare every time I do. Which is awkward. I live in the same room as my TBR, okay??? We need to coexist.
I need to not fear for my life from its wrath.
But sometimes a sneak a reread in on the side.
But will I?
6. FAVOURITE MALE AUTHORS?
It’s come to my attention that I have much more favourite female authors than male authors. Is this because YA is mostly populated by female authors??? (WHICH IS AWESOME DON’T GET ME WRONG.) Or is this because female authors are better writers? (HAHAH EXCUSE ME.) Or is this because a lot of male authors have really gross senses of humour??? (Excuse me but Jesse Andrews and Andrew Smith…also no wonder I get them confused.)
Who can know. Someone should analyse it sometime.
But some of my favourites are:
- Scott Lynch
- John Green
- Patrick Ness
- Brian Stavely
- Jeff Zentner
- Benjamin Alire Saenz
- Jay Kristoff
- Rick Riordan
- Neal Shusterman
Most people would just choose one, but (a) I am not most people (thank the heavens because how could you stand more than one of me) and (b) why not have some author-love appreciation here, eh?!? THE WORLD IS OLD, THE SUN IS DYING, THERE ARE NAUGHT BUT TWO UNICORNS LEFT UPON THE SEAS. We need to flail over and appreciate art while we can.
A SMOL LIST OF FAVOURITE FEMALE AUTHORS:
- Maggie Stiefvater (BOOM, SURPRISE!)
- VE Schwab
- Cassandra Clare
- Holly Black
- Sally Green
- Laini Taylor (Straaaaaange my DREAMER)
- Evelyn Skye
- Leigh Bardugo
- Katrina Leno
- Becky Albertalli
- Marissa Meyer
- Cath Crowley
- Jenny Han
- Steph Bowe
- Stephanie Kuehn
- Jennifer Niven
- Amie Kaufman
Okay okaaaaaay I’ll calm down. Also FYI if you have not seen the movie of Babe, then what are you doing with yourself. It’s a CLASSIC.
Authors are superheroes and should be appreciated. Because it’s not easy to do art and then share it and then know people aren’t always going to love it and knowing the internet (unfortunately) makes everyone forget people are small globs of feelings and hopes. So moments of author appreciation are always needed. Because if authors weren’t writing, where would I be? Engaging in reality???
Please don’t traumatise me with rude language like that. What did I ever do to you. I need to go sit down and recover now, seriously.
Cake for all artists. This is actually a law and 87% of the reason * I decided to partake in the artist life.
* The other 20% is because I failed maths and I want a career where I can work in my pyjamas and wear magnificent magical cloaks.