Bookworms are made of sugar and spice and a habit of collecting books until they block the door and we have no escape.
Some people call this a “TBR problem” but honestly is it really a problem? Flaming lava falling from the sky is a problem. Sticky watermelon is a problem. Trying to walk away from your computer while your head is still attached to it via your headphones — THAT is a problem.
mountains piles? Pffft. It’s totally fine.
(Um, yeah, sure you can take 5 minutes to go have a breakdown. Me too, honestly.)
Great! So now that I’ve spent my intro downplaying the greatest terror of bookwormhood (WE’RE GONNA DIE), it’s time to take a really deep look at the types of TBR piles we collect.
No not all TBR pile are created equal or even look the same. They are many and they are vast. And instead of being freaked out over one pile, let’s freak out over EIGHT.
Oh but before we go on, if you’re reading this and thinking, “What the egg is a ‘tbr’?” then we should probably clear that up now:
- stands for “to be read”
- or maybe “tomorrow bears rise” which is just as terrifying
- is a stack of books you plan to read in 2 days or 2 years
- looks a little like Mt. Everest
- actually sentient and grows without permission
- it’s not usually a pile that has anything to do with YOU because there’s obviously a cute book ghost adding to the pile while you look away which explains absolutely everything
So now that we’re all cleared up, time to dive into 8 types of TBR piles you probably own, have encountered, or maybe thought about, or are just in denial over. This should be fun. No one is nervous!
Also total shout to people who DON’T have huge TBR piles because maybe you don’t have the opportunity! This post is just for fun and not meant to annoy or shame anyone. Keep being a dragon and eating people. You’re doing great.
If you’re a book blogger, chances are you’ve received some books for review. And by “some” I mean between 2 and 87 all in one HIT. My review-pile always fluctuates because one year I was receiving up to 30 ARCs per month (unsolicited ohhhh help) and then we have 2017 where everyone literally forgot I existed. Thanks. ANYWAY! I’m back now.
- usually split 50/50 between books you asked for and books that just showed up like Oliver Twist looking pathetic
- there’s always at least THAT ONE YOU SHOULD’VE READ BY NOW OH WOW #GUILT
- usually has a few on there you were excited about but now you’ve seen bad reviews and now you’re moving to Iceland without them
- there is so much pressure in this pile because if you don’t like the book you have to email the publicist and wHAT IF THEY SEND GOBLINS TO EAT OUR SOULS FOR THAT??
- sometimes this pile ends up feeling like work
- there is a 500% chance there’s a book on there that has 600+ pages and you’re scared of it
- probably a book out there not coming out till 6 months and you keep patting it and calling it my precioussssss
- you do like this pile
- it just has a lot of expectations tucked in the corner
As much as we complain about our TBRs, one of our #1 favourite things to do is make IMAGINARY piles! I know! We should all probably get some help for this. But shh. Shushhsh. It’s fine.
So this pile is absolutely non-existent, but we WISH we had these books. Typically we keep lists of this one on our Goodreads “want to read” shelf. Or write lists and leave them on sticky notes around the house. Like you thought that was a shopping list? Hahha. It starts off with eggs and milk but then there’s THE COLLECTOR EDITION OF HARRY POTTER right there and you know you’re obsessed.
- it’s like the imaginary friend you always wanted
- it makes you cry a lot because sometimes you feel like you’ll nEVER GET THESE BOOKS BUT YOU WANT THEM SO BAD
- chances of you forgetting WHY you wrote that particular book on the list = 100%
- honestly you get so excited for a book one week + it goes on the list = next week you forget why
- since this list doesn’t exist, you add soooo many books you don’t even care about
- but books (!!!)
- you have a problem
- but it could be worse and you could be a ghost on the moors ok. So no one should judge you.
This TBR is very very similar to the above in that it’s imaginary. But it also has the added bonus of being frikkin’ unattainable unless you have a time machine. I mean, wanting books 6 months in advance? Torture, but okay. 12 months in advance? Hurts like a paper cut on your heart, but you can deal. 2 years? nOW you’re just gnashing your teeth. AN INDEFINITE UNDEFINED DATE BUT THE BOOK LOOKS SO SO GOOD????
That puddle on the floor is you.
- it exists because you’re a masochist
- actually who the heck announced this book this early?!? THEY are the mean ones
- you’re worried your interest in this book will die before the book actually comes out
- there’s a 76% chance it’s a sequel from a fantasy author who only can manage to write 1 word per day apparently
- (low burn at George RR Martin, Patrick Rothfuss, Scott Lynch…etc. etc…)
- (excuse me)
- the authors of these books are laughing softly @ your suffering. It is how they gather sustenance to live.
This one is generally filled with those books we casually mention we haven’t read and another local bookworm will stand atop a chair and say: “YOU HAVE TO READ IT YOU’RE NOT LIVING IF YOU HAVEN’T READ IT.” Apparently a lot of life-and-death pressure rides on this. And guilt. And terror.
- there’s usually a lot of classic books on it because you feel you should read them
- there’s probably some childhood book you missed out on and now feel 2% interested in revisiting but you’ve BEEN TOLD TO
- definitely some famous adult book there that’s super hyped
- but you just remembered you are a child with crayons leave me alone
- some Shakespeare is here
- a sheer ton of highschool required reading
- honestly more people say “YOU HAVE TO READ THIS” the less you want to and you’d rather take a hot air balloon up to the peaks of Peru and stay there
- but you still casually say “sure I’ll get it someday!”
Don’t even look at me with your little eyes and deny you procrastinate some books. (Unless it’s true and you NEVER procrastinate which means you are made of fairies and dragonflies.) It doesn’t matter how much we want to read that book — the question is…why haven’t we yet? And because there’s usually no good answer, this particular pile is particularly terrifying.
- the books on it are probably hyped
- so the pressure is on?!?? will you like them?!?
- sometimes you really really really really want to like the book and if you don’t the apocalypse will come and people will throw boiled eggs at you —> so why take the risk. DON’T READ IT.
- definitely a book on there that’s the square circumference size of the earth
- you’re just not in the mood for a few of these
- definitely populated by sequels and you’ve forgotten the first book so #awkward
- every time you look at this tbr pile it scares you
This one is delicate. And also expensive. It generally consists of books YOU BOUGHT with your own cold hard coins that you probably pried from between a dead pirate’s hand or the nest of a raging dragon. The risk, ok? The RISK.
So these books are all definitely ones you want to read because you chose them! They chose you!
It’s like mutual true love except one half is a dead tree!
(Wow yes that sounds odd. Don’t you love the bookworm life!)
- you usually can’t even TOUCH this pile because you’re caught up reading ARCs or other required reading
- because you spent money on it, there’s actually a lot of pressure to love it???? because if you don’t you just wasted money?!?
- these books are the prettiest tho
- you take a lot of photos of them hashtag: #Iwillreadthisbeforetheyear3012
- this pile makes you feel good because you supported an artist
- sometimes you have no idea what’s even on this pile because it dates back to the year 42 BC
You know that feeling when someone gifts you a book?!? hAHAHA ME NEITHER. Okay fine! Just kidding! It does happen and I’m always super grateful! I just live in a family of darkness who says “why do you need more books you have plenty”. Rude. They’ve forced me to write my own. Anyway. These books are special and shiny because they are like Christmas.
- absolutely has a book on it you’d never read EVER but someone you love gifted it to you so??? politeness??
- definitely a book here you’re procrastinating because you’ll be murdered if you don’t like it from the giver
- has books you’re SUPER excited about because gifts!!!!!!!
- makes you feel loved!
- it’s a good pile, Brent
Hey eBooks! They have SO many good parts about them. I mean! If you read eBooks you’re guaranteed to save space which means you can fill it up with your antique Celtic sword collection and save no money at all. But whatever. We’re not here to sword-shame.Honestly the biggest downside with this pile is also it’s goodness…IT DOESN’T TAKE UP ROOM.
- there’s at least 67 Amazon freebies that you downloaded when you didn’t know any better
- #so #many #regrets
- obviously contains 890,00 books, half of which you have no idea how got there
- you constantly add to this pile because w h y not.
- fun things: you can fit the whole TBR pile in your pocket! that makes you feel like a library wizard instead of a book hoarder with no self control like you truly are!
- this pile will not kill you!! it cannot fall on you!!
- so add more books to it!! who even cares!!
- it’s basically a black hole