I just want to pause and thank Google for sending the absolute most strangest people ever to my blog.
Well done, Google. For all the people who typed something random into your search and then found ME, well I (a) appreciate the page stat, and (b) think you’re probably terrible at your job, because (c) HOW DID MOST OF THESE SEARCH RESULTS LEAD TO ME.
Move over Stranger Things, we have the Strangest Fury Blog coming right up.
Because YES! I’m going to answer some of my blog’s search term results for this year! Now I do this every month in my recap posts but last year I did a whole post on it and who is arguing with that kind of quality content, amirite?!? * This will be glorious. Also you might recognise me answering some of these from this year but probably not because: let’s be real. Both our memories are not that good.
* Um, those who are arguing probably WANT quality content. But hahaha you are here after all so standards aren’t too high.
Now just in case you don’t know what a “search term result” is, it’s basically things people type into google and then google
is a freaking idiot sends them lovingly to your blog. You can find them in your stat section on WordPress and Blogger.
And since it’s my duty as queen of all, blogger extraordinaire, pillar of the community, and etc. etc. I will be answering these questions posed by humans and bots alike to help make my blog a HELPFUL hub of information to serve the people. *
Also before we go on…
I made it to the @EpicReads Book Shimmy Award FINALS. Which is actual madness and I’m so freaking grateful!! I’ve never got this far?!? So go vote for me as booknerd of the year!
No but seriously how did I get this far amongst all these booktubers hahahaha….wow.
yes it’s still Christmassy themed around here heaven help us all ugh
“too much reading bad for you”
IT IS. OMG HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL THIS?!? Reading is terrible. It makes you think, it makes you ask question, it starts disagreements and forest fires if you leave books unattended while roasting marshmallows under a blood red moon. Honestly, all I can say to you is: get out while you still can.
Side effects can include:
- bad eyesight
- interest in becoming a nocturnal bat
- general confusion when asked to put book down and go outside
- unreasonably high expectations for normal-humans to be as good as book-humans
- might inspire you to become a writer which is obviously an illness
- fills up your brain with magic so you forget people’s birthdays (but you remember fictional characters’ birthdays so where is the loss)
- unholy screaming because of plot twists
- your arm might fall off
- I don’t know but it could happen. Don’t take the risks.
This is an accurate summary of how many times I’ve gone outside to socialise in the last 23 years, so I’m glad it helped you find my blog!
“why is the love triangle in books always two boys and one girl”
I think there are several reasons for this. HIGHLY SCIENTIFIC REASONS which I have not made up on the spot just now.
- Often in YA the narrator is a girl and the author is a girl —> and both those phenomenons generally lead to the girl wanting to be pursued twicely because apparently it’s attractive of something. I mean, it’s nice to be wanted? I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
- It can also be SEXISM. Because if you put 2 girls in a room competition for something, they’re automatically labelled “catty” and “bitchy”. Whereas if two boys are fighting for something, it’s apparently hot and admirable.
- I rolled my eyes and they fell out.
- Someone started this trend and 78 people followed because WE FORGOT TO THINK FOR OURSELVES.
- Two girls don’t need to compete for 1 boy because if he can’t make a decision then they know HE IS BAD NEWS and they ditch him and become best friends and raise a dragon egg together and fly away on a magic carpet and– wow, can someone please write this.
“i rate my books by the time it makes me cry”
Same, my friend, same. I rarely figure out my star rating before I’m at the point where I want to cry and throw things. Preferably a chicken.
(I’m just KIDDING I would never throw a chicken unless I was teaching it to fly like I may admit I did as a 12 year old and effects were varied. Also I named my chicken Tikki Tikki Tembo-no Sa Rembo-chari Bari Ruchi-pip Peri Pembo after the children’s book to spite everyone who said I could only have ONE chicken and ONE name. So ha.)
“blasting through unread shelves”
Hmm, you won’t find this happening here.
No wait! I actually did blast through several backlist books last week and got some eARC reviews sent in and felt GREAT about myself! As I reward I requested like 8 new books and sometimes I wonder why I cry so often.
“unhinged: library edition”
This is the future title of my memoir.
“maybe if you want to die bookworm”
Is this a THREAT?!? Or are you asking for a list of suggestions on ways bookworms die so you can avoid it and be immortal and live forever??
If it’s option (1) then hoW dARE U and we will fight to the death at dawn of maybe next week if my mum says it’s ok
And if it’s option (2) then just literally do not walk under your TBR pile. You’ll be fine then.
“tupes of love you like love you till moon and back”
Oh oh I can be good at this one!
- I love you to the library and back.
- I love you as far as I can throw you which is basically Ronan and Noah bless them.
- I love you to a black exploding star and then not back because we both died.
- I love you to my Goodreads page and then wooooow back and maybe I don’t love you did you seriously not rate my favourite book 5 stars can we even talk after this???
- I love you to the moon and not back because I would like to live there alone with my books and some croissants thanks that would be great I’m an introvert and anxious just go.
“is it wrong to read books”
Yes it’s very wrong. I have no freaking idea what kind of SINNER invented them.
“iam back wid my original character”
This question is so interesting because I have no idea if YOU x your character = are in a relationship and in which case, congratulations!! I hope you have a lovely life together!!
Or else you’re possibly announcing that you killed your original character, regretted it, and brought them back to life. Happens ALL THE TIME, sweetie, don’t even worry about it.
trends in ya fiction 2018
DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW THE FUTURE???
I mean, I do look like it a little bit right? I’m super magical and trustworthy. The top YA trends of 2018 are going to be books about MUSIC and PIANOS and SMOL SAD BOYS and–
Oh wait. That’s just my book. Excellent, go preorder.
“reasons why books are reviewed”
- Bookworms have too many opinions and have to let them out somehow. If they don’t, the bookworm might melt.
- They’re a great way to figure out your full thoughts and feelings about a book.
- We write them to give recommendations!
- Also great hobby if you have no life to speak of like meeeee.
“names that are pretty but exeptionally hard to spell”
Mine apparently. Did you know there are 9389 ways to spell Cait? And nO ONE IN MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD could actually figure out my way? Every single year, I would get a youth group award and my name would be spelled differently. I even applied for a bank card when I turned into an adult (ugh) and it took THREE TRIES for them to spell my name right.
I’m changing my name to Nick Fury. Please, use at will.
“why we read painful books”
Honestly we want books that make us FEEL and pain is one of the strongest and more memorable and relatable feelings. So we strange human creatures just run after it like little deranged lemmings.
“why do adults read ya fiction”
I actually am going to do a full post on this but for now, view my (FAMOUS) tweet
“jared and aglionby”
IS THERE A 5TH RAVEN BOY WE DON’T TALK ABOUT?!? JARED?????
GANSEY, PLEASE COME AND TELL US ABOUT JARED?!???
“bookstagram clean the stuff after photoshoot”
Personally, I would like a bookstagram clean up fairy. I have discussed this quite often, but all I’m saying is some people ask for pumpkins and glass slippers and all I want is someone to put all my books back on the shelves?!?? Is this so much to ask, FAIRY GOD MOTHER?!??
“no big deal bookworm”
Like what the heck, mate, everything is a big deal around here. HOW DID YOU END UP ON MY BLOG?!?? This blog is 87% existential crisis, unprovoked panic, unreasonable levels of anxiety over things that shouldn’t be a problem, and the exploding of average circumstances into NATIONAL INCIDENTS.
“i had telepathy”
WELL WHAT HAPPENED TO IT. AND ARE YOU ELEVEN.
Excuse all the Stranger Things references, I’m watching Season 2 with my smol sister and we are mildly obsessed.
“can reading too much give us superbrain”
Well I should HOPE SO or else half my evil plans are going to fail and I’ve been wasting a lot of time.
“killing off characters is hard”
“writers types buffalo”
Wow well this is the answer I’ve been looking for basically all my life. Whenever people say, “What kind of writer are you?” I always hesitate and get stuck trying to decide if I should answer that I’m a plotter or a speed-writer or a full time writer…like??? So many options??
From now on I’m going to say I’m a buffalo.
“how am i paper fury”
WHAT THE HECKKKKKKK. WHAT????? WHAT!!!!! NO YOU’RE NOT. I AM. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE???????
“im a teen looking up to be a writer but sometimes i feel like im not good enough”
The biggest and best advice you will EVER EVER get is: keep writing. I’m not joking. I know we want quick fixes and we want concrete “how to” lists so we improve. But absolutely nothing is better than writing and writing again. Even when you finish a book and start to query it — you should be writing something else. Even when you get a book deal, guess what?!? You should already be writing something else.
My debut comes out with Hachette / Orchard UK in June, 2018. It is the 16th book I wrote. Do you feel a bit better now?!
JUST KIDDING. I appreciate you, little stalker.
And I do actually have a schedule because I’m nothing if not horrifically predictable. It looks like:
- Monday: book review
- Tuesday: Top Ten Tuesday wherein I break the rules wildly and still link up and wait for sirens
- Saturday: a discussion or list post from my own creativity, hence today is Saturday and you’re being stuck with..well…all this.
“acotar and acomaf pronunciation guide”
I pronounce them both like: no.
Wow I have so many questions, like are WE doing the decapitating or are we going to BE decapitated?!?
“the act of a person sleeping on books becoz of reading too much is”
I think the act is called “terrified realisation that cannot read enough in a life time so will sit here and panic existentially” not that I WOULD KNOW because I would never never sleep on a pile of books. *
* Blatant lie. My life is a pile of books.
“how to make a tbr”
Honestly just say “I LIKE BOOKS” and all the books will come to you to overwhelm your life. Also start book blogging or go on Goodreads. Give it like 5 mins. After that you’ll be crying, trying to sell your sister for more money to buy books, and making lists of books that stretch to Jupiter and back.
“most horrific things”
- stickers on book covers
- someone eating the last slice of cake when I specifically said it was mine
- people puking slime
- or eating busting out of slime
- or touching slime
- EVERY SCENE WITH SLIMEY ALIEN GROSS STUFF IN STRANGER THINGS
- me @ trying to buy books with no money
- trying to figure out your left vs right hand when someone’s yelling directions at you and you’re driving and YOU SUDDENLY REALISE YOU NEVER FIGURED THAT OUT IN KINDERGARTEN HOLY KELP
- any time your computer wants to do updates
- trying to spell things
- waiting for critiques back on your novel and dying somewhat inside
Wow okay you asked, so I’ll hit you with it ALL.
- I’m an INTJ and apparently the J stands for “Judgemental” and that’s not me at all obviously I WOULD NEVER SKEPTICALLY JUDGE EVERYONE IN THE WORLD AT ALL TIMES.
- Ok fine yes. This is very much me. Also the T stands for the queen. Me.
- I’m a Slytherin. Which is obviously because I’m so ambitious and if you ask my sister for ANY childhood story it involves me being so very snakily cunning it’s a worry to us all.
- My secondary house is probably a Hufflepuff. I’m still unsure. I’m very hardworking and literally put me next to a Stiefvater book and I’ll show you doggedly loyal. I also like food. I would live in the kitchens. Let’s be real.
- I think I might be Eleven. Since we’re stuck on Stranger Things for some reason. I have yet to move something with my mind but I say 1 word instead of 10 and I will eat dessert without you if you come home late.
- I’m such an introvert that I often hide from myself. Sometimes mirrors are too much.
“how important are book bloggers in selling books”
Eee, so this might be a seriously unpopular opinion, but I don’t think we’re that important. I KNOW! Throw things if you want, but make sure they’re soft and edible and I’m ready to catch and eat them. (Chocolate muffins? Please?) I’m smol and fragile.
We make a difference, don’t get me wrong! And I sure as heck have sold a ton of Raven Boys books. (BLESS YOU.) But honestly book blogging is at a bit of a low right now…and yet book sales haven’t drastically decreased. So hmm. We’re not a blimp in the radar, but I believe social media does more than blogs??
“what does the writing process look like”
Mine also looks like…
- hours of brainstorming and writing the book in my head
- then writing out a hugely detailed outline
- absolute speed-writing sessions where I write for 8 hours per day and get 30,000 words down
- pure and absolute TERROR that my books aren’t deep or complex enough
- trying to find a comfortable position to type in and ending up on your head in the Mariana Trench
- hating and loving your words at the same time
- drinking so much hot chocolate
- dissolving into your own universes so deeply they just FEEL REAL
- torturing characters
- a lot
- like…even more than that…hahahaha
- writing books now that won’t even be talked about til 2020
- ABSOLUTELY BUSTING WITH SUPER EXCITING NEWS ABOUT MY 2019 BOOK BUT BEING UNABLE TO TELL YOU
- writing so many Hufflepuffs and Slytherins because #favourites
- really really really really really loving what I do except everything is on fire, sure, and my hair and I just ate a wall and everything is a typo but I love writing so I shan’t stop