There comes a time when I just must acknowledge all the super weird random ways people find my blog.
Part of me is like “thank you to everyone who visits” but the rest of me was like “YOU FOUND ME HOW?????” after I’ve cruised the search term results for a bit. But look. Even though some are quite misguided, I feel a duty to try and answer all these questions regardless.
I used to answer a few search term results in my monthly recaps, but this year I tried to make the recaps shorter so whoomp. It got cut. But I miss it?! Where else am I supposed to put all my salt. So let me bring IT BACK with some very mocking sincere and pithy heartfelt answers. Unfortunately I don’t get as many cool ones as I used to. I guess internet searches are becoming more private?! Darn you, privacy, for stopping me laughing at ridiculous people.
You can see my answers to Part 1 here!
Also the tiniest update:
✧ I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging as much this month! This is NOT like me at all, but I went away and then got sick and then have been trying to read half a library in 3 weeks and then my life fell over like a badly stacked cracker house. So. I will do better in december.
✧ I haven’t actually started NaNoWriMo yet lol lol sob. I will be starting on Friday. I will die presently. How fun is this already
✧ I don’t even know what to blog right now, hence you’re getting a part 2. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Forgive me and love me anyway. I would give cake but I ate it all to live.
In case you don’t know what Search Term Results are — they’re just random things people google and they might hit your blog! You can find them in your blog’s settings and stats!
I find these 90% amusing and 10% depressing because the amount of “free pdf of such and such book” I get IS FURIOUSLY BAD. Go take your pirate selves somewhere else arghsgshofs.
does too much reading cost harm
Your bank account would say yes and then throw a shoe at you. I say think of it less as spending all your money and being broke and instead view it as having friends who can’t run away from you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
children’s books from the villain’s perspective
About 50% of me saw this and thought: “What do you want your little babies to be reading????” but then also 50% of me is immediately like: MY NEXT NOVEL IDEA. THANK YOU.
adrift by paul griffin ending / did they kill jojo in adrift
Oh this is hilarious. I’m getting SO many hits on my Adrift review. I’m guessing some school has it on their curriculum and these kids are supposed to be reading it but they’re googling?! Lmao. NO SPOILERS FROM ME. You’re on your own.
what kind of writers are there
✧ confused writers
✧ smol writers who can’t reach tall cupboards
✧ writers who (if interrupted) have bitten and will bite again
✧ writers who are just a stack of moths in a trench coat
✧ soft writers who do let nice things happen to their characters
✧ writers who have fallen over and can’t get up
✧ writers who plan novels and world domination in the same notebook
✧ writers who haven’t stopped screaming since 1785
monochrome bookstagram
yes you have come to the right place before, look at my monochrome, I think this is right
what book bloggers do
Mostly we type vigorously with one hand while eating small cakes with the other, until we are entirely made out of crumbs and passionate rants. We spend hours blogging! Networking! Taking photos of books! Chatting with other bloggers! Sometimes, we even have time to read a page of a book.
notebook sisters blog
AWWW THROW BACK!! Does anyone remember when I used to blog with my little sister Mime and we were “Notebook Sisters”!? We were adorable. We couldn’t blog. Every post was a gif nightmare. Aww!
i ate a cicada today
I am so happy for you??? Also how did this reach my blog (I hate bugs with every fibre of my soul). And lastly, is the bug fandom okay?
what is the iffect of reading to much
Sometimes you learnt to spell. Very dire effect. Tread with care.
how people get made overreading
Usually it starts when a modest stack of books are buried in the dark forest. The moon has to be just right, preferably during a blood moon or the cheese moon. Occasionally dig up this stack of books and add more. Eventually, when you go to dig up the stack, there will be a bookworm down there instead. Did they grow out of the books and dirt??? Did they burrow in from another land??? We don’t know. But this is how they’re made.
ladybug strengths and weaknesses
I mean??? I guess they’re pretty?? Their weakness is probably that they can’t sign up for a library card idk I have not really asked one. But seriously WHY THE BUG QUESTIONS I HATE BUGS. WHEN DID I EVER MENTION BUGS.
sucks to relax
Honestly? Big mood. how can one relax when there are 1,045 books to read per day and and twice as many books to write in a life time???? Also I feel like if I’m going to relax, someone should bring me and ice cream sandwich and nO ONE HAS.
6 of crows moral message
us trying to find Good Morals™ in a book lead by Kaz Stabby Thief Brekker
I’M JUST KIDDING! The morals are (1) waffles are better than boys, (2) if you are rude to Inej then Kaz will kill you, (3) keep your squad close because you love them! also because they might stab you idk! and lastly (4) if you haven’t made a pithy joke before you nearly die, is it even a good death??? Jesper would say no.
why do book covers change from the u.s. from other countries
See one time, the USA threw the Brit’s tea in the ocean and they are still angry about it. They won’t even let their book covers match so people know they are still upset.
(Also something about buying the cover image rights and this depends on the cost. Also marketing is different depending on the country and other things appeal. And then the UK just thinks the US is wrong. Etc etc etc. My first answer was better.
where are all the funny ya novels
Mine is HILARIOUS.
Right before I rip out your heart and use it as soup, but I have some utterly funny lines in A Thousand Perfect Notes. I am also super humble, but you knew that.
which is more popular acotar or tog
Bread actually. Toast specifically. There are very very few people who don’t crave toast. Even the people who can’t eat it (because they’re allergic or something) crave it mightily. Toast is more popular than ACOTAR or ToG. That is my final ruling.
should i reread or start a new series
Um, do BOTH?!?? You have two eyeballs don’t you?? That’s one for each book, why on earth are you whingeing.
fury is bad for you
Nick Fury and I think you’re rude.
what to say when recommending a book
“Read it! It’s my favourite! I’m sure you’ll love it! The axe I’m holding right now is in no way a threat! Go for it!”
i have decided to unfollow a few people
I’m so glad I get to share this moment with you tbh. I feel kinship because just today I decided to unfollow someone who was making me miserable. I think we should share tea and a quick biscuit and admire our life decisions.
tragic ya books
Lemme hit you with some recs. No really. Let me hit you with them. These little jerks are painful.
coconut boots
I have so so many questions as well…
i have a great story idea but i’m not excited about it
I’m laughing and also confused?!? It is probably not great.
paper fury review of zenith
If you found this, then it’d be news to you and me both because I haven’t read it lmao. (But seriously, the fact that people google specifically for my opinion is quite flattering?!)
im writing an essay and it sucks what do i do
Think to yourself: What would Chidi do? Then do it.
i am rather a book worm and fail to indulge in extra currixular activities..what should i do?
Same. Why would one go outside when there are books inside??? I don’t think there’s hope for us tbh. Although I’m now referring to my disinterest in other hobbies as “fail to indulge.” Thank you for this.
any writer who didn’t remember what he wrote?
Meeeee! Someone mentioned a scene in ATPN recently and I had to go look it up. I’d like to think this is because my brain has moved on to being filled with new story ideas, but in truth? I never remember anything. I swear I have bees for brains. Once I forgot how to spell my own name, so what more should I say here.
books similar to a thousand perfect nots
Try these! I recommend them highly.
Also in other news, I’m now referring to my book as A Thousand Perfect NOTS because that’s how I felt during revisions too.
i was here now ive gone
me @ parties and social gatherings
Ugh I forget stuff all the time!!! I like to write scenes in my head as I sleep and it just happens. Then I forget it or I wake up half asleep to jot something down! 😂
I found your blog by searching fantasy cliches bc I hate cliches so much I don’t want to use them. I’m glad I found your site! THE AESTHETIC THO.
I’d love to read a book by the villan. I was thinking of writing one but honestly I forgot 😂 you should try writing one!
Have a great week!
These are literally my favourite thing. Day made. I shall now go hit myself with a tragic book, because good days are not allowed to stay that way when there are books left to read, right?
ALSO WHOA PICTURES ARE ZOOMY NOW I thought your blog couldn’t get any cooler but lo and behold I am exceedingly wrong.
*glugs glass of water because I’ve inhaled too much salt*
The ‘I ate a cicada’ one concerns me. Like why would you even Google that???? Why would you eat a cicada????? Also I love your answer to ToG vs ACOTAR 😂 i will take toast over a SJM book any day.
I actually found your blog because of Google, I looked up something like ‘good YA covers’ and you had conveniently just done a post about them.
Also I’m kind of intrigued by a children’s book about a villain 😯 I would read that to my kids if I were a parent, does that make me a bad parent??????
Your search results are funnier than mine. My blog also gets a ton of “free PDF” and “read for free” searches. No, people! That’s not how books work. I also get a bunch of questions that are obviously homework. It’s sad that they’re Googling the book instead of reading it.
OH MY GOD THIS POST IS HILARIOUS!!
Also DO NOT WORRY, dragon queen, your loyal subjects shall stay loyal even if you’re not constantly blogging and actually taking time out for yourself and family and health (!!)
Can we just appreciate that someone tried to look for the moral message of six of crows (which i re read last week and have a LOT OF FEELS about yet again.) Obviously it’s to make sure you stay TRUE to your word when it comes to business dealings, and that ‘they’re all horrible’. honestly someone SHOULD do a post about all the moral messages that book has, because i would love to read that.
what to say when recommending a book is a seriously important question and someone needs to address it, seriously–whenever i rec books, i practically just throw them at my friends, who are just like *poker face*. not fun.
also all the bug questions are so funny like how did that lead to your blog??
GOOD LUCK FOR NANO! Xx
lol these are the best. I will 100% be reading children’s books from the perspective of villains to my babies. There’ll be no psychological damage from that, right?
Are you not going to explain “ariel hombre yaoi”? I read that in the photo and I have so many questions.
lollllll the ways people find your blog are hilarious 😂😂😂 love this post & I hope that someday you’ll bless us with a children’s book written from the villian’s POV cause it seems like you would do a fabulous job with that!
Thanks for the amazing post as always!!
Those search terms are hilarious! I especially loved the “I ate a cicada today”. Dude, those bugs are enormous and would definitely require at least 2-3 bites to get down. What I mean is that there is no way to eat one on accident. No, that was entirely on purpose. 😂😂😂
I don’t get THAT many blog search terms, even though I KNOW people are searching for stuff. Because I get notifications of search term but GOOGLE HIDES THE TERMS. #sadness
But one search term I get very regularly, at least once a month, is “Harry Potter characters” And I’m surprised??? Because there are a million internet things about Harry Potter but people have found little me while looking for Harry Potter characters? Okay, that is cool 😂
Ah, I missed these! Thanks for doing another hilarious search results post! I love it.
I definitely forget what I write. All the time. Sometimes I have a hard time believing I wrote something even though it’s in my own handwriting because I don’t remember it AT ALL. How does this happen.
I FINALLY FINALLY finished Six of Crows yesterday after like 3 months!!!!!!!!!! I just had to let you know I’m so excited I actually finally get those references!!!!!! XD I’m glad I feel included now. XD
I liked it, but I’m not in LOVE with it like everybody else. It’s just not my kind of book I guess. :/ But I’ll still read Crooked Kingdom eventually. 🙂 I really love Nina and Inej though! They’re the best. XD
And It would make SUCH a great movie though, I NEED to see that happen!! 😀
Mmmh ‘coconut boots’ is pretty good. I want to know more.
A fun post, Cait! 🙂 I enjoyed reading it, and hope you are feeling better and less sick! 🙂
Wow, your search terms are interesting. Mine mostly says “unknown search terms” 😂😫
I live for these posts. Absolutely love your answers, especially the one for “how people get made overreading” which has made me snort laugh coffee all over my laptop.
Man, this is such a fun idea! If I knew at all how to access what people search on my blog, I would do the same thing!
THIS POST MADE MY DAY AHSHSHSJSHA
I needed to laugh and of course I had nowhere else to go but here. Your blog is my happy pill.
I NEED TO CHECK OUT SOME SEARCH TERMS FOR MY BLOG NOW. I wanna have some fun and of course my major exam tomorrow is in no way a priority. I’m gonna be fine.
oh my goodness you never fail to deliver cait XD I love you so much. These are beautiful. Kaz Stabby Thief Brekker XD Also your answer for TOG and ACOTAR. So true.
(also will you kill me if i tell you i’ve been thinking of going back and finishing//trying to finish TOG series??? just to see???)
Coconut books haha. And wow such an honor to get the visit of a cicada eater, right? 😉
Is it just me, or does “Coconut Boots” sound like the perfect book title? Something utterly pretentious and literary, I think…
(And, in case you really wanted to know, ladybugs do have library cards. I’ve had one for years.)
If you wrote a children’s book from the villain’s perspective I would read it and it wouls be great!!
This is so so funny, Cait! Aaaaaahhhhh I love it<3 you are as usual on point with your sassy shabbiness. (also hiii! It's me! Emerging from the darkness of the ether!! Whaaat I must be on holiday or something and also remembered that I actually like blogging. Or rather: I was gone and now I'm here). Anyway, whoever doesn't think reading is an extra-curricular activity is just very WRONG. I pity them. This is terribly sad. I have also decided that I, too need a pink knife 😀
Okay but we actually did a whole lecture about overreading for my english paper and it’s like when you get really into a book and start understanding all sorts of things that aren’t there at all. I do it all the time probably. Also ALL HAIL TOAST. TOAST IS MY FAVOURITE FOOD. IT MAKES ME HAPPY SO EASILY AND IT”S LIKE HOT CRISPY BREAD WHICH IS AMAZING. i love toast. I just wrote a post about these books so theyre on the mind, but I would love to know how the Kraken from the Ingo books became so compelling and monstrous. I definitely forget what I’ve written all the time, so it’s not just you.
I always love seeing these posts! You get the strangest search terms, and I love seeing your sassy responses 😂😂 I mostly just get unknown search terms, but this made me want to check mine, and apparently someone searched “mini of feels of love” and I have no clue what that even means.
And I one hundred percent forget what I write… I swear half of my writing process is just scrolling back through all of what I’ve already written to check a detail that I can’t remember/make sure I’m not contradicting myself.
Ahh these were funny! You have to wonder about some people sometimes.
I’d like to read a children’s book from the point of view of The Wicked Witch of the West. I love witches and I’d love to read about her strategies trying to get Dorothy’s red slippers.
Yes, sadly, people are stupid. We have proof now in the form of search engine queries.
I hope you’re feeling better! My family just got through a couple weeks of coughing and stuffiness and bleck. Toby was the only one to escape unscathed, ha ha.
I bet Atticus was happy to have you back home, though!
This topic is a perennial favorite! Particularly odd ones have included “island shaped dinosaur” and “tripto bangarh alasmost hounled place movie song download” and “how is train trip from dc to savannah”.
HAHAHA I’m literally laughing so hard at your response to that final search term – SO RELATABLE. XD
This post made me laugh a lot! Great post.
Toast is more popular than ACOTAR or ToG. That is my final ruling. XD this is hilarious Cait XD
this made me google coconut boots and i’m so disappointed it’s a brand of shoes and not, you know, actual some kind of fruit shoe
but great post as always! we should really not allow some people to have an internet connection
I swear to you, I get so many hits for adrift as well!!! I laugh every time I see it. I don’t understand why, though. Thanks for the post Cait!
The oddest thing about my blog is the number of Russian bots that must stumble upon it.
I think children’s books from a fairytale villains perspective could be interesting! I did once forget that I’d already written an event up in a previous chapter and started a new chapter with the same event, until I got deja vu so much I had to go and check.
Oooo yes, I remember the Notebook Sisters! You were smol and adorable – look how you’ve grown, Cait! Now go take over the world, you.
“See one time, the USA threw the Brit’s tea in the ocean and they are still angry about it. They won’t even let their book covers match so people know they are still upset.” LOL. That’s such a salty but probably accurate statement, haha. Doesn’t explain other countries not matching though… unless they want to flip off the US.
The strangest one I’ve found leading to my blog is apparently “rotten hut.” I don’t know how I have a rotten hut? I wouldn’t do that to my dragon – my dragon deserves only the best treatment and it is NOT a rotten hut.
I had just taken a large gulp of water before reading, “us trying to find Good Morals™ in a book lead by Kaz Stabby Thief Brekker” – and promptly choked because I didn’t want to spew it on my laptop. Thanks for that. LOL
Oh my gosh yess loved this haha, I get some weird search terms for my blog. I’m always so confused lol.
Nabila | Hot Town Cool Girl
They are the most confusing things 😂😂 but at least they make us laugh, right?!
I always love when you do these posts!! I’m intrigued about the bug questions as well, I don’t remember you ever talking about bugs. And I had the same response to the person who had the great story idea but they weren’t excited by it…
I am SO surprised at the bug questions?! I must’ve mentioned bugs somewhere but I can’t for the life of me figure out why because I am…so opposed to bugs.😂
I would honestly come here to see you sarcastically dissect a shopping list so. 😉 I hope life improves before the end of the year. Are you looking forward to Christmas? My brain is currently screaming because it’s new reading challenge time. I never did finish all those posts that were supposed to help people pick books for mine…
I started NaNo on the first day. Everything sucks. Last night I was almost in tears over my inability to put words together on a page without second-guessing myself. Happy November! Good luck with it. 🙂
THAT MAKES ME SMILE SO MUCH *blushes and gives you cake* 😂😂 And omg all the books still to read is still sort of panicking me. I have like a list of, um, 50 books that I’ve been saying I’ll read this year and suddenly there’s a month to go. 😂 Oh dear.
(Don’t worry, my NaNo absolutely SUCKS too. I haven’t written a single good funny line and I kind of want to burn it lmao. Buuuuut rewrites and edits will come. :’)
These always make me chuckle hah. I am seriously impressed that someone is so desperate to hear your thoughts on a book that they figured they’d just search for that. ::Bows down::
I am excited to hear that These Gentle Wounds is like your book because I want to read that book, and I loved your book, so. Also I have enjoyed the author in the past and I also enjoy you, so see how well this comparison is working already!? Also, I love when we can do Notebook Sisters throwbacks. OH and I need to consume ALL those tragic books ASAP. I have only read 2 (yours and TSK) and both made me cry and now I need all the feelings please and thank you. I own 3 out of 4 of the others you listed (wow Cait I have an actual problem tbh) so I shall pick one to eat sooN!
Also, unrelated, but OH how I feel you with the blogging. Every night this week I sat down to write something but… nothing could be written. Oops? Now all I want to do is look at what goofy stuff leads people to my blog!
I know right???? That one kind of made my day.😂 SOMEONE LIKES MY OPINION AWWW!! I’m famous *blushes* 😂
The TBR laughs at our attempts to conquer it so I completely understand. And aww I am so pleased you like my words. Like I literally can’t express what a relief it is.😂I was terrified I’d turn up this book and the blogosphere would be like: “AFTER ALL YOUR HYPE THIS IS WHAT YOU GIVE US???” and then, you know, toss me into the sea. But no one did!! I’m sobbing with relief tbh. mY BLOG FAMILY IS THE BEST.
(Ugh why is blogging so hard this year?😂 I keep being tempted to just stop but afjdlks I still love blogging. It’s just hard when you’ve gone on for a while…)
i?? love this post?? how are search terms always sooOOOooo nonsensical
I’m so confused how google turned up my blog for these BUT OKAY THEN.😂
I am gonna have to go check mine right away. I know I may not have such hilarious ones or even so many searches but I gotta hope right? I love your posts and get well soon. AND BLOG MORE!
I hope you found some funny ones!! (and ajfskld I am back to blogging now I promise.😂I totally dropped off the earth for most of November. shaaaame.)
4Let it be known that I already do A LOT of extracurricular activities in my head. Fictional kingdoms don’t save themselves, you know?
I’m so sad to have missed The Notebook Sisters era! Perhaps you can bring it back for a post or two? Honestly, we writers don’t even remember the most recent thing we wrote. I forget my characters names sometimes!
I hope you’re doing well, Cait! Take all the time you need with your family and for yourself <3 We'll be here! (Is that comfort, or a threat?)
Aw you didn’t miss much with the Notebook Sisters era lmao. I promise i was a terrible blogger when I started.😂😂
LOL monochrome bookstagram, that is so hilarious! Awww notebook sisters throwback! I have never in my life seen anyone refer to “six of crows” in numerical terms, so that’s definitely a first. I LAUGH AT YOUR TOAST ANALOGY. Haha I love how random your google search results are!
Retelling a that haven’t been retold is my absolute favourite!
Oh my god these searches are hilarious and your answers to them even more, I’m just continuously snorting 😂😂
Oh my goodness, Cate! I kind of fell off blogging and this was the first recent post of yours I clicked on. I forgot how hilariously funny and fantastic your writing is. Also, yeah, I have so many questions about some of the search terms too. —Reike Burgen
These are hilarious and I now need to get myself some coconut boots. They’re all the rage, apparently.
Wow these are hilarious but also – so random?! Mine are all related to book titles, or shadow banning or self hosting XD I may need to diversify my content haha.