C.G. @ Paper Fury

How To Win #NaNoWriMo In 3 Days

5th Nov 2016 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 165 Comments

**Now I know I’m super annoying but…I FINISHED NANOWRIMO IN 3 DAYS.**

Well, technically I wrote 62,000-words in 3 days and even finished up early enough that I got to spend a pleasurable evening relaxing and doing nothing. * This wasn’t actually a record for me either as back in September I wrote 130K in 6 days WHICH IS KIND OF A LOT AND I LIVED TO REGRET EVERYTHING. **

I KNOW I KNOW I’M SUPER IRRITATING but there. #NaNoWriMo2016 finished in 3 days. Someone save me from myself and bring me the cake. pic.twitter.com/Srr89AAKc3

— Cait (@PaperFury) November 3, 2016

Okay, come back. Stop hissing at me through the laptop screen. I will give you cake if you read on, you delightful little kumquat.

This post is inspired by the fact that when I tweeted “HEY LOOK WHAT I CAN DO” I had a variety of things yelled at me, including:

Congrats!
Cake for you!
Want to write my book for me?
You aren’t human.
I love you but also hate you right now.
#goals
Did you know it is actually National Novel Writing MONTH not week?
Could you not.
HOW???????

I decided I shall answer the last one: HOW DID I WRITE A BOOK IN 3 DAYS? Because clearly it’s time to spill secrets and then pat you on the shoulder and assure you that, yes, you too can do this if you want.

But I also accept titles of Immortal Dragon Queen Of All if you prefer to think of me as not-human. That’s cool.

* I was lying catatonic on the floor with chocolate BUT SAME THING.
** Or did I live??? Is this a human typing now or the Ghost Of Caits Of The Past? Or perhaps just a clone I left to keep things together while I am dead after a 27K day that one time. Or perhaps there WAS NEVER ANY CAIT AT ALL AND I AM JUST PRETEND. #ExistentialCrisisIntensifies

1. PRACTISE SPRINTING UNTIL YOU CAN SPRINT LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SPRUNT BEFORE.

You know the word “sprunt” sounded right in my head but now I’m second guessing my ability to use the English language. (Which, FYI, is the only language I’ve ever had. I need to be restrained from it.)

But that aside — look I didn’t wake up one day and say “I’M GOING TO WRITE 20,000 WORDS IN ONE DAY!” I worked up to it. I also figured out my process which is to write wild and messy and bad first drafts and do serious editing/rewriting later when I have the skeleton here to work off. Everyone’s writing process is different! BE AWARE OF THAT. But if you want to learn to sprint: then do it. Very rewarding. As rewarding as taking over small galaxies and ruling them nefariously. *

But a little backstory on my last three NaNoWriMo experiences?

2014: 65K in 7 days
2015: 63K in 5 days
2016: 62K in 3 days

On top of that, I’ve written 22 books, editing copiously, rewritten more, and just WROTE AND WROTE AND WROTE UNTIL I COULD WROTE NO MORE AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT? WROTE MORE. **

Practise, is what I’m trying to say. Praaaaaaactise. You learn to write fast. You learn to sprint. You do it so often that writing 20K in a day is actually No Big Deal.

* I mean…not that I would know. [WINK WINK]

** Genuinely worried about my use of grammar now.

2. HAVE A 5-YEAR PLAN.

Well, that’s a little excessive, Cait. Maybe chill.

Try having a 3-day plan. AKA — AN OUTLINE FOR YOUR NOVEL. I wold not be able to do this as a panster! I JUST WOULD NOT. As is, I have a very detailed outline (this year’s outline was 7,000-words long and outlined every. single. scene) so I have zero chance of either going: “omg no writers block I don’t know what to do now” or “where am I going with this”. Because I know. I have The Outline. I follow The Outline.

The Outline and I are ONE. *

Because of having a detailed outline I don’t get stuck! I don’t need to overthink. I literally can just write.

* Just kidding, we still fight, but mostly it’s a good relationship.

3. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE AWFUL.

I do not write neat perfectly stitched together 1st drafts. I WRITE WILD AND MESSY AND AWFUL. I give myself permission to write badly because 1st drafts are just always going to be bad no matter what. * So my method is to write awfully and freely and have fun because there’s 0% pressure here…I know I’ll fix it later!

I’m not just hitting my keyboard. And I will write scenes that I, modestly, view AS PURE GOLD. But there will also be sentences like “He ate the potato because he loved potatoes because potatoes were good” and yes I still call myself a writer. Although sometimes I make myself cry.

I’m great.

* Okay, fine, maybe your 1st drafts are perfect little works of art but I can’t look at you. Whose soul did you sell?

4. HARVEST THE SOULS OF YOUR READERS AND DRINK THEIR TEARS.

What?

I thought this was good advice.

5. MAKE THE TIME, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO STEAL A TIME MACHINE.

Obviously you can’t write for 6 hours a day IF YOU ARE BUSY DOING OTHER THINGS. Personally? I make time in my schedule. I can afford to take 3 days off from…everything. I PLANNED TO TAKE THESE DAYS OFF ALL YEAR. I had freezer meals ready, chocolate stockpiled, my dog bringing me sandwiches, and zero commitments to anyone or anything anywhere. I could be 100% focused on my writing.

If someone so much as looked at me with a, “Hey Cait could you –” I JUST SAID NO AND RAN AWAY.

Plus I don’t read or watch movies or blog or, like, talk. (I do faceplant on the internet during breaks though. And nap. So much napping.) That frees up a lot of extra writing time.

And yes! I do type for upwards of 6+ hours a day! SO THAT’S KIND OF A LOT. I get rather hyper-focused and can type and type and type and be perfectly happy lost in my own mind. *

A very simplified schedule of how I write would look thusly:

8:00am – 9:30am = 3,000 words
10:20am – 11:50pm = 6,000 words
12:30pm – 1:30pm = 2,000 words
3:40pm – 4:30pm = 1,000 words
7:00pm – 10pm = 8,000 words

BUT SEE ALL THOSE TIME BREAKS???? I am not writing the whole day. I am exercising or playing with my dog or gone for a walk or eating FOOOOOOD. Take care of your brain, pumpkins. You’ve only got one. **

And least to say: no procrastination. NO. NONE. NONE. AT. ALL.

Oh don’t give me that look.

* Wait. That is scary.
** And some of us have less than that after NaNoWriMo. But yet we remain! Go us!

6. I’M A MOTIVATED LITTLE MONSTER.

Honestly I think a lot of writing intensely huge word counts just comes down to: DO YOU REALLY REALLY WANT TO DO THIS??? You practise. You build up your skills. You write. I honestly have no Secret Recipe Of Awesome. There is nothing magical in my cake. * I do not have 8 arms and 7 clones. My dog does not type well unless I want my manuscript to saw “rawr and woof”. WELL, I MEAN, I AM THE IMMORTAL DRAGON QUEEN. So there’s that. But that only contributes a little.

And if I’m struggling to motivate me? I get YOU to motivate me. Twitter! Chatting with NaNo friends! Blogging about my projects! Comparing character tortures with writerly buddies! I mean, what’s the point of living on this planet unless you get to demand the mere mortals to encourage you and your word count and bring you cake, amirite?! What else are the mortals for???

Also, um…I’m hugely competitive with myself and have to keep beating my old records and it’s a disease probably. Shh.

* Except for the fact that I baked it and I am beautifully magical.

Speed writing isn’t for everyone, but if you want to do it: GO FOR IT.

Work up to it! Challenge yourself continually. And the basic mathematical equation is: plan + clear your schedule + stick your butt in your chair and don’t procrastinate + type fast + be motivated by the reward that is a finished manuscript + focus + cake + write wildly and badly with no editing + be just a teeny tiny itty bit INSANE = you did NaNoWriMo in 3 days.

You’re welcome.

NOTE: This post isn’t intended to be braggy! If any of my methods are helpful to you, GREAT. If not: your process and journey is different but just as awesome. Trust me.

hey NaNolings! how are you doing? surviving??? DO YOU NEED ENCOURAGEMENT BECAUSE I HAVE CAKE FOR YOU. what’s the highest word count you’ve reached in a day and what’s your Ideal Goal World Count for someday? are you a speed writer or a slow writer? what’s your process?! let’s chat of all the fun things.

NOTE: I will not be sharing snippets on my NaNo book this time, fiends! There there, it’ll be okay. Lemme be secretive occasionally.

How To Write A Successful 1st Draft (Without Stabbing Yourself In The Eye With a Spork)

14th Oct 2016 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 128 Comments

**Writing can be mildly terrifying…particularly if it’s a first draft.**

It’s like going where no one has gone before. It’s like conquering a planet except you’re blindfolded and the planet is full of holes you could fall down and end up in Wonderland and rename yourself Mad Hatter for the rest of eternity BECAUSE WRITING HAS REDUCED YOU TO MUSH.

[Deep breaths. Deep CALMING breaths, everyone.]

NaNoWriMo is coming and that means writing a 1st Draft. And it can be scary! Particularly if you’ve never done this before! Some of us are hardcore veterans and some of us are crying like wretched onions. But guess what? I’M HERE FOR YOU, MY ONION FRIEND. I have written 21 first-drafts so I would like to think this makes me ~~a genius~~ relatively dependable when it comes to dishing out tips and advice.

Today I’ll list some top tips for how to write a successful 1st draft. These tips are FLAWLESS, since I invented them. Although I will remind you that: all writers have difference processes! So if you look at my list and wrinkle your little nose in heinous disgust and retreat back into the darkness hissing, “Noooo, noooo, that is not good for me” then THAT’S OKAY TOO. But maybe something in this post will help you! And if so: MY WORK HERE IS DONE.

And if nothing helps you, then hey, at least you got to spend time with me. And that’s the best thing ever obviously.

When it comes to NaNoWriMo (or actually any novel I write of ever) I am pretty big on planning. Of course YOU DON’T “HAVE TO” PLAN. But I’m going to talk about planning because that’s who I am as a person.
If I am a person?
No one truly knows, to be honest.
There are many different types of outlines and methods and you can GOOGLE THEM because I don’t know how they work. The important thing is just to figure out your (A) beginning, (B) middle, and (C) ending.
That way you lower the risk of wandering aimlessly through the middle of November screaming “WHO AM I. WHAT AM I DOING. WHAT IS THIS BOOK. WHAT IS LIFE.”
Existential crisis during NaNo? Not recommended.
My outlines are bullet point lists…basically like a long synopsis. I plan the full book in my head before I outline, so I’m basically blurbing my own book! GO ME. FYI writing synopsises is so much easier before you write the book.
You know what else is easier to do before you write the book? REMEMBER WHAT JOY AND SUNSHINE FEELS LIKE BECAUSE SOON THEY WILL BE GONE.
I’m kidding, writing is fun. Totally fun. We’re having so much fun all the time.
If you’ve never written a book before I definitely recommend trying some sort of outline. It makes things a little less overwhelming. You have a PLAN. You can DO THIS.
Also planning helps if you have a horrid memory (like I) and end up writing 20,000 words that basically involve characters eating food and then saying “Okay but where was I going with this???”

My tippiest toppiest advice for writing is this: GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE THE WORST MULBERRY TO EVER FALL OFF THE TREE.
Also realise that “tippiest and toppiest” are probably not even words, but whatever. Back to the mulberries. Focus on the mulberries because that’s what we’re talking about right now.
Give yourself permission to write badly. To fail. To be imperfect.
Oh don’t don’t dooon’t give me the “well I’m a perfectionist and it’s who I am to try and make it right” lecture because guess what? I’M A (RECOVERING) PERFECTIONIST TOO. I nearly quit writing altogether because I couldn’t get my first drafts “perfect” the first time. That’s ridiculous. The world would probably have decayed into fire and poisoned mushrooms without the glorious blessing that is my writing to the universe.
I had to decided either: (A) I will write imperfect first-drafts and then edit/rewrite them to perfection later, or (B) I will not finish novels and I will be a sad potato.
I chose (A).
PLEASE CHOOSE OPTION (A) WITH ME.
I firmly believe striving for perfection in first draft is the #2 cause writers fail. The first cause is, of course, getting distracted by twitter. DARN YOU TWITTER. IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.
The object of your first draft is to write a skeleton. An ugly skeleton. It’s to get all the scenes down and to get into your characters’ heads. It’s to actually have fun. Because there’s no pressure to write beautifully! There’s just writing wild words and being a horrible mulberry and enjoying getting to know your children.
YOUR SMOL CHARACTER SONS AND DAUGHTERS. BLESS THEM.
Plus you know how freeing it is to write badly?! It’s AWESOME. It’s fun and exciting and there is zero pressure. Enjoy this. (Editing is actual hell.)

Sticking with a 1st draft can be abominably hard. Especially if you’re aware of how horrendous your writing is. Trust me: I knooooooow. My first drafts are AWFUL.
The trick is to accept your first drafts are about as attractive as a moose — and to realise they’ll get better.
You must believe me now. When have I ever lied to you? (I mean there was that one time I promised you cake and then ate it all myself, but you can’t hold that against me. Move on, fiend. Forgive and forget and all that.) I AM ALWAYS THE TRUTH.
Good writing is rewriting.
I think that’s a quote from a famous person, actually. Or you can pretend it’s a brand new though from me because that’d also be fun.
There are several things I do to motivate myself. Which I’ll share with you, because I’m nice:
- I think about how much I want a career in writing and that ain’t happening UNLESS I SIT AND WRITE THIS BEAST. There’s no greater motivation for me than thinking that one day I could be an author.
- I remember that this book will be better after I rewrite it.
- I picture my book on the shelf and me being famous and all that stuff that will OBVIOUSLY HAPPEN.
- I excite myself by making pinterest storyboards. There is nothing like aesthetically pleasing conglomerations of pictures to make you think “WOAH MY BOOK IS ACTUALLY QUITE AWESOME.”
- I chat with a writing buddy while I draft. For some reason talking about it gets me more excited?!?
- I make sure I have epic scenes I’m specifically looking forward to: like an explosion or a huge plot twist reveal ~~or a super stabby scene~~. And I hype myself up for how fun they’re going to be to write.
- I REWARD MYSELF FOR ACHIEVING GOALS WITH FOOD, DANGIT, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO SOMETIMES.
Reward yourself! It’s a great motivator. Chocolate, for instance, or buying yourself a book or nice stationary, or conquering a small planet and crowning yourself Ruler Of All. Just go for the simple things that make you happy.
Also focus on your writing strengths. For me that’s dialogue. I have soooo much fun writing dialogue in my first drafts. My description sucks. My action scenes are horrendous. My world building is like a bunch of yogurt tubs taped together. BUT HEY, THAT DOESN’T MATTER, BECAUSE I WRITE SOME GREAT DIALOGUE AND ENJOY MYSELF. The rest comes later.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember writing can be enjoyable. But it can.
OH STOP IT.
There are fun parts about writing. Exploding doors. Riding dragons. Majestic hair flips.
Find the parts that make you happy to write and FOCUS ON THEM.
So much focus.
And don’t think your writing strengths are insignificant. Pfft. Lemme let you in on a little secret: half of writing is just faking you have confidence until you get into the habit of being confident. It totally works.
Also please don’t compare yourself to other writers. Is your name Mulgabill? No? Then don’t compare your process to Mulgabill’s.
Trust me, when you get to be an old gnarled writer (like I) you stop caring about other writers’ journeys and you just become a self-absorbed pineapple frond who only cares about yourself and your journey and your process. As it should be. 10/10 would recommend being narcissistic when it comes to your writing journey. You’ll be happier, trust me. I have scientific evidence (myself) to confirm this theory (you’re welcome).

THERE. Now go forth and write a very successful first draft of your glorious novel for NaNoWriMo.

Also, FYI, “successful” means “a finished novel”. That’s the total definition. If you don’t believe me look it up in any dictionary ever. Just remember: PLAN (!) SILENCE YOUR PERFECTIONISM (!) BE A MULBERRY (!) ENJOY YOUR WRITING STRENGTHS NO MATTER HOW SMALL THEY MIGHT SEEM (!!!)

Be writing the writing queen. Because your story is important and deserves to be told. *

* OMG THAT WAS SO SAPPY AND MOTIVATIONAL! AHH!! Aaaaand…I just ruined the moment, didn’t I? #MyBad

do you like writing first drafts?! (i actually love it because freeeeedom!!) or do you struggle to find motivation? do any of these magnificent tips seem helpful to you? what do you think is your writing strength (or what do you particularly enjoy) during first drafts??

10 Books Secretly By The Villain’s Perspective (Oh Be Still Your Dark Little Beating Heart Of Glee)

4th Oct 2016 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 180 Comments

It’s time to speak of my favourite topic of them all: VILLAINS.

Come settle down with a dark chocolate truffle cake and get comfy so we can have AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS TOGETHER OVER HOW MUCH WE LOVE VILLAINS AND HOW MILDLY CONCERNING THAT IS. But before I launch into my list of books that are actually (sneakily) by the perspective of villains, I want to explain why villains are my favourite. Because you’re totally curious. *

* And even if you’re not curious, guess what? YOU GET TO KNOW ALL THE REASONS ANYWAY because my #2 life skill is talking about dark-hearted cinnamon rolls. (My #1 life skill, by the way, is cake. Cake is a complete life skill.)

Their thought process is intensely intriguing. Like Tom Hiddleston said “Every villain is a hero in his own mind.” <– That right there? That is sucks me in. I love analysing how they think and their justification processes. Excuse me while I just flail over THE BRAIN.
Villains have complex plots. Well, there should be complexity and if there’s not the following consequences are (A) I am an angry grape of strife over wasted potential, (B) the villain is just a sneezing joke because no one wants paper plate villains. THIS IS NOT A PICNIC. Now back on topic — I adore the complexity of villains’ plots. Because it shouldn’t be “I woke up this evil mwahhah”…there should be reasons. My very very favourite is: doing evil to do good. BECAUSE THAT TWISTS YOUR BRAIN AND LOVE THAT.
Cookies from the dark side. Because dark chocolate is the best and OBVIOUSLY that’s what cookies from the dark side are made out of. I want.
The tortured tragic villains are, ultimately, my favourite. Excuse me while I become a puddle of squish in the face of a villain who never MEANT TO BE BAD but life was cruel to them. They need love. They need warm pretzels. Everything will be okay, slightly-psychopathic smol child.
And even if I hate the villain with the power of a thousand suns…I appreciate that. Like, make me feel things, mate. All the things. I want to rage against an unfair dark-souled-slightly-squinty Sauron too. Epic stories need epic villains.
I just adore morally grey stabby complex characters. Heroes, villains, innocent bystanders, a local cat — I don’t care, if they’re morally-grey, I just love ’em. Who wouldn’t??

Today’s Top Ten Tuesday prompt is, obviously, all about VILLAINS so let’s discuss evil that DOES NOT SLEEP. Also, I’m not going to sit here and call ALL VILLAINS adorable cinnamon rolls. Some I want to smack in the face. For instance: Voldemort is like the worst kind of burnt toast. * But I still have 938 questions about what made him like that and why. SEE? VILLAINS ARE INTRIGUING.

And things that make me curious = I love it.

Today’s post really focuses on the more anti-hero style villains, who are my favourites. I love tragic villains because they have elements of reedemableness ** in them. And that just makes them even more complex and interesting. And also just dark books are my favourite. #TrueStory

AND ALSO I JUST REALLY LIKE COOKIES, STABBINESS, AND THE DARK SIDE. ***

* Not true. UMBRIDGE IS THE WORST KIND OF BURNT TOAST.
Apparently this isn’t a word? #rude
* Oh, and also: yes I swear I’m a normal nice creature. I don’t get library fines. I wear matching socks. I clean my room and pet my dog. I mean, sometimes I talk about magnanimously taking over the world and reigning supreme as evil overlord dragon queen of all. But, you know. I can be whatever I want.

1. SIX OF CROWS DULOGY

[goodreads]

Deja vu? Wasn’t I just flailing over these books YESTERDAY? TRUE. I WAS. BUT HERE I AM TO FLAIL AGAIN BECAUSE INFINITE FLAILING IS NEEDED. (Sorry my all caps key got stuck…hahhhahahah. It totally didn’t. I’m just that obsessed with this series.) This is my favourite band of villainous misfits of EVER. Kaz is terrifying and tragic and a genius. All synonyms for “Cait Will Like This Book”. Plus Kaz is my favourite of villain because he can (A) be evil as the dark side of the moon, but (B) also has panic attacks and cannot talk to his crush because #anxiety.

Be still my darkly beating heart.

2. PRINCE OF THORNS

[goodreads]

This is actually an adult fantasy despite the protagonist being 14…because IT’S SERIOUSLY VERY DARK AND VIOLENT. And actually there is no way I like Jorg. He is evil. But the story is brilliant. So somehow that works?? But Jorg is Game of Thrones level despicable although he has occasional kind moments which are baffling to us all and his sass is on point.

3. ROCKS FALL EVERYONE DIES

[goodreads]

Okay but firstly: DARN YOU LIBRARY BOOKS AND YOUR SHINY WRAPPERS.

And now that that’s out of the way — I liked this one! I enjoyed it more in retrospect than while reading because Aspen is an A+ jerk. He has the magical ability to steal from people. Thoughts, ideas, feelings, motivations etc etc. And he manipulates a girl into being with him and he’s horrible to his friends and — oh wait. HE’S A VILLAIN. Technically his whole family is kind of villainous. So A++ for making me hate you and also be intrigued by the entire story, Aspen.

4. VICIOUS

[goodreads]

Because apparently all my lists must have SCHWAB ON THEM THESE DAYS. Vicious is a super-villain origin story and it’s so freaking brilliant I CANNOT EVEN. It features two villains and you’ll honestly not know who is the “right” side. They’re both awful. Everything is awful. Except for (A) the adorable little mostly dead girl, and (B) the huge brutish tech guy who likes chocolate milk.

I love this book. I LOVE THIS BOOK. I lost my sense somewhere along the line because one shouldn’t probably love villains as much as I do for this book. I’d be sorry? But I’m not.

5. CURSEWORKER TRILOGY

[goodreads]

CRIME !! FAMILIES !! That’s all I can say.

No wait. I can say more. Because this is magical realism with MAFIA and people who’s touch can curse you and a simply delightfully sassy sociopath protagonist whom I basically adore over all things. Cassel is actually downright scary at the end, but hey, he tries to be good and can honestly be a real sweetie. And then con you so bad. Lovely.

Did I mention CRIME FAMILIES?!?!?!

6. V IS FOR VILLAIN

[goodreads]

Surprise! This is a super-villain origin story. YOU DIDN’ SEE THAT COMING, HUH, HUH?? Anyway, despite it’s alternative title being C is for Cliche * I still think this is a fun story! I mean, I think I do??? It’s been 39 years since I read it. And I don’t even know what I ate for lunch yesterday, let alone what I read back in 2014. **

* SORRY I COULDN’T EVEN RESIST MAKING A BAD PUN HERE.
** 2014 was 2 years ago, not 39 years ago. But it’s only a slight difference and don’t get so hung up on the details omg.

7. HOW TO LEAD A LIFE OF CRIME

[goodreads]

I sooo need to re-read this because I remember LIKE NEXT TO NOTHING except for the fact it’s one of my favourite books ever. A school to turn you into a psychopath/sociopath??! With the protagonist being a tragic little cinnamon roll that is equal parts scary and adorable?? I CAN’T EVEN WITH THE LEVELS OF APPRECIATION HERE. *

* Fun Story: I bought my copy at a library sale and TORE THE COVER trying to get the stickers off. So you will only ever see the spine to hide my shame. Also this is not a fun story. Who said it was??? Who is writing this post because they are fired.

8. MY SISTER ROSA

[goodreads]

This is technically cheating because the story is from Chee’s perspective, but his little sister Rosa is the psychopath. BUT STILL. Chee does some thing that made me go “Um, but wait dude, you are eating cookies from the dark side yourself there” so onto the list it goes!

Plus I just needed a chance to flail because this book is downright brilliant. It’s diverse, it’s an Aussie author, it’s gloriously written, it’s kind of terrifying.

I am pleased.

9. AND I DARKEN

[goodreads]

Because the world needs a Vlad the Impaler retelling…GENDER BENT. Woooo for actually scary YA females! Lada will actually stab you in the face and was yelling “SMITE INFIDELS” from the age of, like, 2. You know she’s going to be fun at parties in the future.

By the way: I started off rating this book 3-stars, but now it’s like one of my top-read books of the year??! I just love it so much in retrospect that I WANT TO RE-READ. What is this dark wizardry.

10. HALF BAD TRILOGY

[goodreads]

And lastly WELCOME TO MY FAVOURITE TRAGIC WITCH STORY. This is fully a villain origin story, but it’s the “let’s do evil to do good” tale which melts me every time. Everyone is horrible to Nathan. He’s so abused and yet so precious and — fair warning — this series will STAB YOU IN THE FACE WITH FEELINGS. But it’s so so good. Plus it contains a fair amount of sass. Hey I’m sensing a pattern here…so many sassy villains??? *

* You know what this means, right?! I have my moments of glorious wit = ergo I’m obviously in the prime position to take over the world and eat it maliciously mwhaahhahh. Ahem.

obviously i must ask: do you often end up adoring the anti-heroes/villains/morally grey grapes in books?!? if you’re a villain-enthusiast: TELL ME YOUR FAVOURITES!! and please do recommend me any other villain-centred books because obviously I need more. (plus link me to your villainous TTT posts!)

10 Books About Creepy Little Towns & Creepy Little Woods (PRO TIP: Do Not Go Frolicking About)

13th Sep 2016 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 191 Comments

There’s something about seeing a dark creepy wood that makes you just…WANNA GO INSIDE IT AND POTENTIALLY DIE.

It’s a compulsion really. So exciting. You never know what you might find! Generally people find trees and ponds and itchy bugs, but the possibility of finding (A) dead people, (B) evil faeries ready to have your soul, (C) forces of the darkness, (D) Sauron’s holiday house, (E) leeches, or (F) monsters with bad temperaments — IS REALLY RATHER HUGE. Although leads me to ask why we should ever go outdoors???? The risk is too great.

In case you are like me (aka: opposed to death) and do not want to get eaten by forces of darkness or, worse, mosquitos — I have compiled a list of books today about dark creepy little towns and dark creepy little woods. This should quench your adventuring spirit and keep you alive.

Also FACT: I actually love books about creepy woods. If you say “Hey Cait I think there’s a dark forest thing happening in this bo–“ I will be there, reading it, before you finish the word BOOK. But I have sense okay? Read about the creepy woods. DO NOT GO FROLICKING ABOUT WITHIN YOURSELF. #sensible

I’m linking up with Top Ten Tuesday for “Top Ten ALL TIME Favourite Books Of X Genre” and that’s hard for me because I recently listed my favourite diverse fantasy and my favourite general fantasy SO WHAT IS LEFT TO TALK ABOUT?!??! FANTASY IS LIFE. So let’s pretend “creepy woods and creepy towns” is a genre, okay? We’re good? We’re definitely good.

1. THE RAVEN CYCLE BY MAGGIE STIEFVATER

[goodreads]

In case you are new here: HI, MY NAME IS CAIT AND I’M OBSESSED WITH THE RAVEN CYCLE. Sometimes I’ll be quiet and not talk about them for, like, 5 whole minutes, but then I must explode and gush because they’re the best books I’ve EVER READ. And reread. And had many slight crisis over because #emotions.

Anyway! Creepy woods within! Although you can argue that Cabeswater (that’s the name of the woods, because you must always name things) isn’t really creepy until the final book, The Raven King. But whatever. CREEPY STUFF IS ALL OVER THE PLACE IN THIS SERIES. It’s beautiful. Someone frame it.

2. THE CRESSWELL PLOT BY ELIZA WASS

[goodreads]

The Australian edition is actually called “In the Dark, In the Woods” which — while that title promotes staying indoors and surviving — IS REALLY A HORRIBLE TITLE COMPARED TO THE MAJESTY OF THE CRESSWELL PLOT. So I’m ignoring it. I’m going to just Cresswell.

Also this book is freakishly fantastic. The woods are VERY dark and creepy but the monster is human, because it’s contemporary. But it has a big family and sass and amazing names (Castely?!? Mortimer?! Caspar??! I love this!!) and the ending will rob you of all sanity. 10/10 would recommend being damaged by this book again.

3. THE DARKEST PART OF THE FOREST BY HOLLY BLACK

[goodreads]

This book features two siblings + a boy with horns in a glass coffin in the woods. And they want to wake him OF COURSE. Nobody sends these people to Class 101 Of Do Not Wake Creepy Things Or You Will Die.

Also, this book is just so aesthetically pleasing and eerie and I love it. But then Holly Black is the QUEEN of the creepy.* ALSO BEFORE YOU DASH OFF: have you seen the book trailer? It’s spectacular. I usually hate book trailers ** but this is how you do it.

* This seems like an insult but it’s really the most gargantuanly nice compliment ever. I SWEAR I LOVE YOU HOLLY BLACK.
** Because whyyyyy do we need book trailers? IT’S A BOOK. IT’S NOT A FILM. Plus I don’t take kindly to being told how to imagine things, thank you very much.

4. THE ACCIDENT SEASON BY MOIRA FOWLEY-DOYLE

[goodreads]

This doesn’t actually feature woods that much. Just the small creepy town where weird things happen — like a family who is cursed to have accidents happen to them. YOU KNOW…just your regular family curse. I’m sure this is normal.

It is also very aesthetically pleasing with the levels of strangeness and mystery. I wanted to actually eat this book because that’s what you do when you find something so amazing. I’m sure this, too, is normal. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU READ AND/OR EAT IT.

* If I say another variation of “aesthetically pleasingly creepy” after this you can hit me WITH AND AESTHETICALLY PLEASING HAMMER.

5. DEMON ROAD BY DEREK LANDY

[goodreads]

This only half counts because it’s actually a roadtrip. But why go to one place with creepy town / woods when you could go to SEVERAL AND GET EATEN BY TREES AND MONSTERS AND MAN-EATING CARS!!??! Honestly if that’s not your idea of a fun holiday roadtrip, I don’t know what is.

It disturbs me when people go on relaxing holidays.

6. SISTERS RED BY JACKSON PEARCE

[goodreads]

This is a prime example of why life as an outdoor person is not good for you: THERE ARE WEREWOLVES OUT THERE. This book combines creepy little town + creepy woods = very admirably. Plus it’s a retelling. Plus it’s about sisters. (I hope you figured that out on your own though.) Plus it’s about monster hunting. PLUS I REALLY LIKED IT.

Gosh, any more pluses and we’ll be doing maths and that would be an abomination.

7. THE OCEAN AT THE END OF THE LANE BY NEIL GAIMAN

[goodreads]

This is such a delightfully quaint little book about parents who get a babysitter for their kids AND THE BABYSITTER IS TOTALLY THIS EVIL THING THAT WILL CREEPY YOU OUT OF YOUR BUNNY SLIPPERS. It also features (A) creepy little town, (B) creepy little woods, (C) creepy worms that crawl into your skin, (D) Creepy McCreeperton everywhere.

Wait. Why are you hesitating? Why are you running away??? COME BACK I’VE GOT MORE FUN RECOMMENDATIONS TO GO!

8. WINK POPPY MIDNIGHT BY APRIL GENEVIEVE TUCHOLKE

[goodreads]

This is written like a whimsical fairy tale and includes three teens who are GENERALLY HORRIBLE but also their story is generally addictive. This book is so so messed up I love it. Like what could be better than creepy abandon houses and creepy little towns and creepy teenage psychopaths and also a severe amount of ice cream appreciation???

9. SPLINTERED BY AG HOWARD

[goodreads]

Technically this isn’t a creepy little town because it’s set in Wonderland, which (we might agree) is a whole different world. BUT WHO CARES ABOUT DETAILS?? * This is like Tim Burton-esque creeptastic forests and woods. Not to mention the macabre art Alyssa does.

Seriously, This Is The Actual Thought Process of Alyssa Doing Art:

Alyssa: I’m going to stick all these dead bugs into a mosaic.
Alyssa: Ooh, and add some jewels!
Alyssa: If only the jewels were red…
General Human: Paint?
Alyssa: OMG WHAT ABOUT BLOOD!!!
General Human: [panicked retreat]

Everything about this series is gorgeously and fantastically odd and rabid. **

* Clearly not me, sheesh, what is this.
Is this my homeland?!? Is this my memoir??! DO I BELONG IN WONDERLAND?!?! *
*** Yes. Yes I do. And also yes I just put footnotes on my footnotes and is this even legal??? SORRY I DIDN’T LOOK UP FOOTNOTE ETIQUETTE AND NOW IT’S TOO LATE TO GO BACK AND BE POLITE.

10. BONE GAP BY LAURA RUBY

[goodreads]

Again, no creepy woods, this is when we talk about CREEPY LITTLE TOWNS. It features a boy who never knows what’s going on, has no friends, walks about in his own daydreams, and knows someone has been kidnapped by a monster but NOBODY BELIEVES HIM BECAUSE HE’S A VAGUE DREAMY COB OF CORN. It’s beautiful. I love this book.

Although I also feel a little attacked by this book because it features bees and cornfields…both of which I AM ALLERGIC TO. And so here is this vague dreamy amazing boy eating s’mores dipped in honey and having midnight rides on a black horse that just APPEARED in his barn while he looks for a crack between worlds in the cornfield to find his friend and I’m like — “I WANT TO COME ON THIS ADVENTURE SO BAD BUT I WOULD DIE OF HAYFEVER IN 2 SECONDS.” I’m so upset.

so can we agree that “creepy woods / towns” is a genre?? (it should be a genre omg) have you read any that fit in this category? RECOMMEND ME SOME, FIENDS. and how do you feel about the outdoors? is it worth taking the risk to frolic about out there? realistically: what would your chances of survival be in a creepy wood/town situation? (anyone else dying of hayfever?)

How To Fabulously Get Started On #Bookstagram

16th Jul 2016 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 308 Comments

One of my favourite parts of book blogging is definitely #bookstagram.

“What is #bookstagram?” you might ask if you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t seen its wildfire takeover across the blogosphere. WELL. I will explain all.

#Bookstagram = Instagram for books.

Most people with instagram accounts like to post pictures of their food, their children, their selfies, the poltergeist in their bathroom, their coffee, their engagement ring, or new car they just bought or…BASICALLY THEIR LIFE. When it comes to bookstagram…we bookworms are also posting about our lives. It just happens to be 100% books.

Today I shall guide you throw how to kick start your #bookstagram obsession.

Because you probably don’t have enough to do already. And it’s also super fun and you don’t want to miss out on how fun this is. Trust me. I know everything. But before we dive in, feel free to follow me @paperfury…just sayin’. I’m friendly and probably won’t eat you.

EDIT NOTE: This post has been updated November 2018.

SIGNING UP

This part is rather obvious. But hey I’ll say it anyway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The only tricky part here is that you must have a smartphone (or an iPod touch or iPad) to actually be able to use the app. It is not available on the computer. I AGREE THAT THIS SUCKS. Someone talk to instagram. Make them change their ways and threaten them a little with dragons and the promise of a life with no snacks if they don’t comply.

Moving forward.

PRO TIPS:

Pick a username that matches your blog. Or your name. IF YOU CAN. Obviously the user name you like might already be taken and you’ll have to be creative. But shortness is key. If your user name is Books-Are-My-Best-Friends-In-All-The-World-Of-Ever-I-Love-Them-So … I will 100% die. Try to keep your name to two or three words. Making it match your blog is super handy, too, because it makes you easier to find. FOR INSTANCE: I am @paperfury absolutely everywhere.
Writing bios is HARD. And don’t look at mine, it’s atrocious. But maybe put 4 or 5 words about yourself. Ideas include maybe your country, your age, your favourite cake, your favourite author, your hobbies. Make it brief. Mine also includes my book title since i’m an author.
Add a link to your blog. You only get to have one link, unless you use something like linktree, which I thoroughly recommend because then you can use a whole stack of links and truly live again.

USING THE RIGHT CAMERA

People assume you have to have DSLR. You do not! You can affably use an iPhone camera. But I will say — the better the quality, the more people are going to like your shots. If you take grainy photos…..eh.

However I do have DSLR and it’s a Nikon D3200 and I only ever use automatic BECAUSE I KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Yet I still get pretty far, so there you go.

Anyway. Feel free to use whatever camera you have on hand. If you have a relative/friend with a nice camera, steal from them too. I stole from my parents for about 6 months before buying my own camera.

THE AESTHETIC

“What the mangled monkey does that even mean anyway????” you grumble because now I’m just getting pretentiously complicated with this tutorial. BUT KEEP YOUR POLKA DOT SOCKS ON. I shall explain.

Actually I’m going to screenshot a dictionary. Ha.

Basically “aesthetic” on bookstagram relates to how you want your feed to look. Is your aesthetic consistent? Do you automatically know who’s photo that is when you see it? Does your feed match? Is your feed aesthetic black and white…super colourful…a consistent background???? Etc. Etc.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

(They’re totally not frequently asked…but they could be. I’m being organised just in case.)

DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CONSISTENT FEED? No you don’t. You can do whatever the heck you want because guess what….it’s your bookstagram.
WILL A CONSISTENT FEED GET ME MORE FOLLOWERS? I personally noticed a huge increase in my followers when I started trying to get a theme going.
HOW DO I GET A NICE BOOKSTAGRAM AESTHETIC? You take photos. They don’t have to be identical. But you work with patterns. For instance: my theme is cluttered and colourful. Someone else might be simplistic. Someone else might take 90% of their photos outside.
CAN I STILL POST PICTURES OF MY DOG ON THERE? Aren’t you listening, dangit? YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. But. Be ye aware that often people follow accounts that look visually pleasing all the time. If you want to grow your account, make sure it’s like 98% books and 2% your dog. Or better yet, put a book on your dog’s head. That works.

THE PROPS

Props are a scary thing because WHERE DO YOU GET GOOD ONES FROM IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SPEND $89093840 DOLLARS?

Calm down. I’ve got you covered.

You don’t have to spend money on your #bookstagram account if you don’t want to! After all those books are downright expensive by themselves. Another PRO TIP is to use what you already have about your house.

FREE OR CHEAP PROP IDEAS:

ORIGAMI. I am an origami lover. I frequently use lucky stars and kusudama balls and paper cranes in my photos. Which anyone can make! Better yet, get that old ARC you don’t want, cut it up, and turn it into art. VOILA. Genius. Or, to be even more of a genius, you can hop over to my Etsy store and I WILL MAKE THEM FOR YOU. (Support me. I’m poor.)
YOUR BOOKSHELF. It makes a grand backdrop. Especially if it’s organised. Go do that.
FAKE WOODEN PHOTOGRAPHY MATS. Okay, I have a love/hate relationship with mine. It was $7 off ebay…which is really not a lot. Mine is basically a sheet of material that looks like white floorboards. The problem is…it scrunches and looks like material. I assume you can get expensive, better quality, ones that don’t do this. But have we met? My name is Scrooge. (EDIT 2018: I actually ended up drawing my own rainbow mat! Not super cheap once I used up 50 million pens, but very pleasing to behold and helped keep my theme cohesive.)
PAGES OF THINGS. I use ripped out pages of a very old, browned book. I also use atlas pages and scrapbooking pages. (Remember how I run that etsy store? I have a lot of pretty paper lying around.) If you don’t have anything on hand, may I suggest a thrift-store? Or 2nd hand store? I buy atlases for around $3 each and often get my books free because they’re old and spotty and no one else wants them. (THANK YOU LIBRARY.)
MUGS. This is super easy. Every house has mugs.
ART SUPPLIES. Like me you might not be an artist at all. Also like me, maybe someone else in your family is. Steal from them. They’ll understand it’s books before bros. I also use old tins/cans that I’ve saved from cooking, let go a little rusty, and then fill with pencils. BECAUSE AESTHETIC. I also have a lot of Bic markers, which are fake sharpies. They look fabulous in photos.
RANDOM THINGS ABOUT YOUR HOUSE. Honestly just trawl your house and nab stuff. My mother keeps peacock feathers. I found a wooden little elephant in the cupboard. I found hessian sacking too. SCORE. Pretty plates? Knick-nacks? Buttons? Jewellery? Skull bones? Old photos? Food? Musical instruments? ALL CAN BE USED.
FLOWERS: Fake flowers are best, but also keep an eye out for other people’s abandoned bouquets. I tell you Valentine’s day is a fabulous time. You can also get wildflowers from florists that last a long time because they dry out instead of die. That’s what I have…although they shed like nothing else omg.
YOURSELF. Your face, your hands, your feet. Kidnap a child and make them pose too.
PLAIN WHITE BACKGROUND: I bought a small piece of white cardboard from a Newsagency. (What is that in American language? An art store? IDEK.) It was like $1.

THE PHOTOS

**Now how do you actually take the photos?**

This is an excellent and mysterious question, my fiends, and I will actually not give you many tips because, like I mentioned, I KNOW NOTHING.

But here are some general guidelines I’ve acquired during my short #bookstagram career. (I’ve been going for about 1.5 years, I believe.)

NATURAL LIGHTING. Everyone says this…but what does it mean??? Take your photos near a window. Don’t use flash. Don’t take your photos at 5pm in the afternoon.
FLAT-LAYS VS ANGLES. Why can’t we have both? I do a lot of flaylays (the camera is directly above the book arrangement) but angles are fun too.
FIGURE OUT YOUR STYLE. This will help you know how you want the photos to turn out. Do you want a messy throw-everything-in-there style? Will your photo just display the book? Are you using a backdrop or taking them on your bed or by a wall or with your bookshelf in the background?
BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS. What’s in the back of your photo? Your messy kitchen? Are you taking the photo on your kitchen table? IS IT CLEAN? Are you taking it with a window directly in the background? It’ll probably be too bright and washed-out-looking. Are you taking it outside? NOT IN FRONT OF THAT SCRAPPY BUSH. MOVE TO YOUR LEFT.
DON’T COPY OTHER’S STYLES TOO CLOSELY. I mean duh. But this needs to be said REPEATEDLY because it really sucks to have your style stolen! Trust me! Be inspired by other people, but don’t copy exactly.

EDITING YOUR PHOTOS

I’ve discovered that most bookstagrammers don’t edit their photos. WHICH IS COMPLETELY FINE. But I am a perfectionist and editing is where my photos actually turn out…nice. (Plus I use my DSLR and don’t have a phone, so I have to send the photos to my iPod anyway. I might as well edit them before that.)

I’ve done a tutorial on how I edit my photos here.

But the basic idea is (A) make it brighter, (B) sharpen it up so it’s really cripsy like a bacon sandwich, (C) crop out anything unsavoury…like my feet which always end up in there, and (D) add a watermark.

NOTE: Watermarks are, of course, very optional. I use them because my photos constantly get stolen. Or “reposted”…but the person reposting says NOTHING ABOUT THE FACT IT’S MY PHOTO IN THEIR CAPTION. They just tag me for goodness knows what reason. So I can see they’re using my photo like their own??? HELP ME CONTAIN MY DRAGONISH WRATH. Ahem. So use watermarks if you want. Or don’t.

THE HASHTAGS

What’s a hashtag? It’s a GLORIOUS way for people to find your photos. I just click on #bookstagram and thousands of photos and accounts will come up for me to browse. Do not underestimate these!! People browse them all the time, and if you want new followers — HASHTAG IT, FIENDS.

Here are some common hashtags you could use: #bookstagram #bookworm #bookphotography #bibliophile #booklover #bookaddict #instareads #book #bookblogger #instabook #reader #bookish #bookgram #beautifulbooks #reading #booktag #prettybooks #coverlove

Make sure you ONLY hashtag what’s in the photo though, okay? It’s super annoying to be looking at #bibliophile and be bombarded with selfies of humans outside admiring their toenails or whatever. I mean. C’mon.

2018 EDIT UPDATE: I’ve since learned that you can use 30 hashtags, but it’s better to use maybe 10? And many hashtags are shadowbanned. You can check and see if your photos/hashtags are being shadowbanned on this site. Which is helpful ya. But use a few big ones (like #bookstagram and #booksofig) and then a few specific ones depending on your photos (like the book’s title or #anticipatedTBR or #bookishfonts or something).

CHALLENGES

Up until a few months ago I had NO IDEA HOW TO DO CHALLENGES. But holy cake crumbs they’re fun. They’re also inspiring when you don’t know what to take photos of!

What the heck is a “challenge”? WELL. A blogger will host it and give you a list of prompts for every day in the month! You can interpret them as you like and join in the challenge’s hashtag. For example I’ve been doing the #RFABJuly16 hosted by my glorious friend Charnell @ Reviews From a Bookworm! I make sure to tag my photo so it shows up in the challenge list LIKE SO:

Honestly challenges are great for inspiration. When it’s Day 13 and it’s “book and snack”? I GOT THIS.

I like to hang out on @bookstagramchallenges to see what upcoming challenges are happening!

PRO TIPS

Just some more random #ProTips from your FAVOURITE PERSON IN THE WORLD. (Spoiler: that’s me.)

You’ll get more likes if people recognise the books in the photos.
I also notice I get more likes when there’s multiple books in my photos. So lines of books, stacks of books, towers of books — ALL THE BOOKS.
Build things with your books! Build towers, chevrons, windows, hearts, circles, squares, mazes, etc etc. SO MANY OPTIONS.
Like and comment on people’s photos. INTERACTION IS GRAND.
Don’t worry if you don’t know what your “style” is! Just keep taking photos and it’ll come to you. And you do not have to have a consistent theme if you don’t want.
If you don’t own many books, take photos of your ebooks with your ereader! Use your library! (Although those shiny library jackets are THE PAINEST OF PAINS.) And take photos of the same books. Pfft, have you seen my feed?!? It’s 87% Maggie Stiefvater and I have no regrets.
Write interesting or fun captions!
Post consistently! I post 1 to 2 times a day. You don’t have to post everyday, but I’ve noticed it definitely boosts the follower count if you do.
Instagram hates allowing paragraph gaps in your captions…WHICH IS JUST SO RUDE. But if you type your caption in your Notes App, this should help. I also put lots of dots (like so: ••• ) because that helps keep the paragraph gap too. DON’T ASK ME WHY.

INSPIRATION

Before I wrap up this gargantuanly mammoth post…I want to give a shout out to some of my favourite #bookstagram accounts!

Plus this’ll help you know who you should be following. AND will give you inspiration! AND LET’S JUST ADMIRE PRETTY BOOKISH PHOTOS, OKAY?!?! Okay.

@theloonytuney

@aenteereads

@myfriendsarefiction

@therusticwindow

@jenniferwindram

@thedarkestpartsofsnow

Aaand…I’d like to mention the other 147 accounts I follow, but I shall RESIST. (For now.) (You can always go stalk who I follow on my instagram page.) (It would be a good life decision FYI.)

ALSO SOME OTHER POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE…

SO THERE YOU ARE! GO START YOUR #BOOKSTAGRAM ACCOUNT!

And hopefully you aren’t too entirely overwhelmed by all of this. But seriously — baby steps. It’s not hard! Just take photos of books and post them, basically, and enjoy yourself. Super easy.

If you’re really serious about your account and want to, like, become rich and famous (good luck with that, by the by) then utilise hashtags and network by commenting and liking other photos. Or else just have fun with this!

BECAUSE WHAT TRULY IS AS GLORIOUS AS THOUSANDS OF PHOTOS OF PRETTY BOOKS???? It’s honestly a dream come true. Oh, excuse me. I need to run away and marry bookish photos. Goodbye.

**do you have a bookstagram account?! do you have any beginner’s tips you can add to my list??? LET US HELP THE NEWBIES! if you haven’t started taking bookish photos…do you want to?!?**

10 Dreadful Things That Will Happen If You Read Too Much

21st May 2016 by C.G. @ Paper Fury

The bookworm life is fraught with peril. Anyone who denies this fact is either a) not deep enough into the dark jungle that is bookworm culture, or b) in denial, or c) trying not to scare you away. But will I cushion the hard, cold truth for you? NO, I SHALL NOT. I am here to give you FACTS and tell you how it IS and warn you of aaaall the dreadful things that are likely to happen if you read too much.

“What do you define as ‘too much’, Cait?” you ask.

Which is an excellent question so my lordliness will allow it. According to the internet, the average person (I think this is actually an American statistic, tbh) reads 6 books a year. So if you’re reading, like, even just 7 books a year — YOU ARE AT GRAVE RISK.

1. YOU DEVELOP A TERRIBLE HABIT OF THINKING.

The unfortunate part of submitting your little grey brain to tons of author’s ideas is — you’ll think about them. IT’S REALLY RATHER HORRID IF YOU COME TO CONSIDER THIS DASTARDLY PHENOMENON. People who think too much always die. They do. Look at history. Tons of marvellous, innovative thinkers who changed the world. And where are they now? DEAD.

Plus thinking too much is rather stressful because you notice people who don’t think and it bothers you a lot. You can’t stand people who don’t think for themselves. You end up throwing books at them and — GASP — risk damaging books. (Maybe risk damaging people? But let’s face it, that’s not a really worrisome issue.)

2. YOU ARE DEVELOP A HORRIBLE HABIT OF HAVING OPINIONS.

This is directly related to thinking too much. Don’t do it. No one is kind to those who have copious opinions on all the things. I mean, how dare you really.

3. BOOKS OFTEN CRUELLY TRICK YOU INTO BEING PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYDAY ISSUES.

If you are a perceiving of bookworm, you’ll notice how books often subtle critique society in the form of an exciting fantasy story. So you might be reading along, enjoying a dragon eating a village or girl kissing a frog … and then suddenly — BOOM — you’ve been knocked in the teeth by real feelings about real issues. Discrimination. Sexism. Normalising violence. Wars and genocide. Slavery. Plagues. Illness.

BOOKS WILL MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEEP ISSUES WHETHER YOU ASKED FOR IT OR NOT. #rude

4. BOOKS COMPROMISE YOUR SAFETY AND GENERAL HEALTH.

This is a rather obvious one, but it bears saying copiously. Because you know that harmless looking to-be-read pile you have? HAHAHAH. NO. It’s most likely plotting your demise. And even if it’s not gotten to the animated state yet (it will), then you’re still at risk from the mountains of unread books just spontaneously falling on your head.

Bookshelves could topple in the night. You could get a papercut. You could drop a book on your foot. You could try to lie on your bed only to realise it’s covered in books and therefore get a backache.

Books are BAD for general health.

5. TBRS GROW WITHOUT PERMISSION.

Have you ever seen ONE book? No. Books do not live solo. They are pack creatures and they specifically go around hunting for more of their kind to join them. WORSE: they force us into helping this pack-mentality.

At first you’re like, “Well it’s a series, so I really ought to buy the entire set.” And it’s all fun and games. And then — BOOM — 2 years later you have 500 books and MORE BANGING AT YOUR DOOR SCREAMING TO BE LET IN.

6. YOU WILL WILL ALMOST ENTIRELY DEFINITELY LOSE SLEEP.

“One more chapter?” the book whispers deviously. You give in. You are in its clutches till 2am.

And even staying up late aside, what about those times the book just gets into your brain and you can’t stop thinking about it? And you end up thinking about it FOR DAYS AND NIGHTS AND YOU DON’T SLEEP ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT THIS LIFE DESTROYING BOOK.

7. ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS WILL DIE.

Your fictional friends, definitely. No bookworm can stand before me without battle wounds and emotional scars from losing a BFF (best fictional friend).

But also your actual-flesh-and-blood friends? They’ll probably die too. OF NEGLECT. Because of the 9383 times you said “You know, Marge, I’d really love to have coffee with you, but there’s this book I have to finish…” Whilst poor Marge withers and dies with no coffee. #PoorMarge

8. YOU WILL MAKE BAD LIFE DECISIONS WITH YOUR MONEY.

At first it’s simple things like “I don’t need that $30 shirt when I could by that $30 book…I mean, I already have one shirt? How many more do I need?”

Then suddenly it’s all “I DON’T NEED A HOUSE. I CAN JUST LIVE IN A BOOK IGLOO.”

Some people find themselves even sacrificing food money to use it for more books. I would like to inform you that I wouldn’t fall to this. You need cake to survive, people.

9. YOU WILL HAVE A LIFE CRISIS OVER SMALL BUT HIGHLY STRESSFUL THINGS.

For instance:

Whether your series are matching.
Should eat and read? Because food = yum. But potentially getting crumbs on your book = no.
Ebook vs physical?
Can you still socialise with people who dog-ear books or must you kill them and bury their body under the full moon of the autumn equinox?
Can you buy that bag? Is it big enough for books?
If you go to an author signing, how do you function? Do you take flashcards to remember WHAT WORDS ARE?
What do you do when your bookshelves are full?
How tall can you stack your TBR before you risk Eiffel Tower height?

The stress levels of the bookworm life are astronomically dreadful.

10. YOU WILL UNDOUBTEDLY FALL IN LOVE WITH PEOPLE AND PLACES THAT DON’T EXIST AND THIS THE MOST DREADFUL OF THEM ALL.

I mean, raise your hand if you TRULY have never wanted to go to Hogwarts? Or Narnia? Or Wonderland? Or Neverland? Or Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory?? BECAUSE I CAN SEE THE WANTING IN YOUR EYES.

And how about the terrible, horrible moment when you relate to a character so so much that you either want to be their best friend, marry them, or adopt them (or all three, like, simultaneously) only to be punched in the feels with the realisation that THEY’RE NOT REAL, KATNISS. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.

(Cue gross sobbing.)

However! No matter how AWFUL and DREADFUL these things are…you can definitely avoid them.

Just don’t read too much! Simple! Be very careful about how many books you read and try not to be too emotional. Probably be a Vulcan. Take up another hobby too, like crocheting winter mittens for sharks. That’ll be best.

Safety first, fellow bookworms! Don’t let the books win this war or crush you flat!

care to add to my list? what are some other NASTY side effects of reading too much? have you ever experienced any on my list? do you need to cut back your reading habits, hmm?? stay safe, pineapples! don’t be a thinker!

Why You Should Start A Book Blog

23rd Apr 2016 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 216 Comments

If you’ve ever wondered if book blogging is for you, then I am here to emphatically tell you “YES IT IS”. And, because I’m super nice, I’ll even give you a list of reasons why you should start a book blog. I KNOW. My generosity knows no bounds.

And if you already are a book blogger? CONGRATULATIONS. This post is still mightily handy for you because you can print it out on an 8ft poster and then plastered all over your family’s front lawn so they understand why you are a book blogger and all the wonderful benefits it includes and they will never again question why you’re sobbing over trying to get a blog post up before midnight.

You’re welcome.

1. IT GIVES YOU AN OUTLET TO PASSIONATELY MONOLOGUE ABOUT BOOKISH THINGS WITHOUT YOUR FAMILY/FRIENDS BEING 1000% DONE, GAGGING YOU AND TOSSING YOU INTO THE MARINA TRENCH.

It’s odd that not everyone wants to fangirl about books all the time. (I don’t know what’s wrong with them either.) But if you have a book blog? There is ALWAYS someone ready to flail with you. Plus only with a book blog can you get away with writing 2,000-words analysing the strengths and weaknesses of your favourite book cover — WITH NO ONE INTERRUPTING YOU. That, alone, is most glorious.

**2. YOU ARE NO LONGER THAT “WEIRD BOOK PERSON” BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS PROBABLY (AKA DEFINITELY) WEIRDER THAN YOU ONLINE.**

I thought I was a rabid reader before I became a book blogger. HA. WHAT A JOKE. As many books as you consume, there is always someone who reads more. And if you flail wildly and weirdly about your favourite fandom? Someone is more weirdly obsessed than you.

Seriously “weird” has really no meaning on the internet.

Absolutely no one questions me when I mention cake in basically every blog post of ever. No one. It’s not even weird when I suggested The Fault in Our Stars would’ve been better with dragons. YOU GUYS ACCEPT THAT I CALL YOU PINEAPPLES WHEN IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL.

3. YOU OWN A PIECE OF INTERNET THAT IS ALL YOUR OWN, CROWN YOURSELF QUEEN, AND RULE MALEVOLENTLY IF YOU WISH IT.

Or use your powers for good. It’s entirely up to you. FREEEEEDOM. You can have friends or subjects. I mean, I have both? I also allow people to call me “Cait” even though the correct terminology is “your majesty”.

4. YOU CAN FIND HORDES OF DERANGED FANGIRLS TO SHRIEK WITH AND FEEL ENTIRELY AT HOME.

Honestly, you can make friends with people IN ANTARCTICA. (Okay, they’re probably penguins, but let’s not judge the penguins’ internet preferences.) I chat with people all over the world! And timezones aren’t even an issue because there’s always someone awake on the internet.

If I’m up in the wee hours of the morning sobbing over a book — I have instant support. Or laughter. Probably laughter actually?

I feel like I need to warn you about this…but when my friends introduce me to painful fandoms and I come sobbing to them — THEY HONESTLY JUST LAUGHT AT ME AND SAY “TOLD YOU SO”. And then they direct me to even more painful fandoms. And yet I listen???

5. YOU LEARN TO BE A BETTER WRITER.

Except I’m 99% sure blogging has made me a worse writer, purely from the fact that I a) have atrocious grammar, b) use made up words like “gargantuanly” and “feelsy”, c) misuse commas because they’re tricky beasts anyway, d) and overuse !! exclamation marks !! because !! I can !!!

Ahem.

But that aside. It has made me a better writer because I’ve learnt how to engage audiences with different writing styles. I’ve learnt how to type SUPER FAST. I basically write every single day and hopefully that’s good for you. My fingers are lean, mean, typing machines.

6. PEOPLE GIVE YOU STUFF AND THAT’S SO SUFFOCATINGLY MARVELLOUS!!

I know, I know. The “don’t blog for free books” thing is a loaded statement, and I kind of agree with it. Getting ARCs or review-copies shouldn’t be the SOLE reason you blog. (Because you have to put so much work into blogging; ergo you need to love to do it just for the sake of it!) But I think it’s FREAKING MARVELLOUS that you can actually be given things specifically to promote on your little piece of internet space!

(It’s never really “free books” though…when you think about it. I mean, say the book costs $20 and you spend 4 hours reading it an and 1 hour blogging? It ain’t free, folks.)

I love getting review-copies or ARCs (aka free books) as part of blogging. As a bookworm who has very little money to spend on books…THIS IS THE BEST THING OF MY LIFE AND DREAMS AND THANK YOU.

7. IF YOU PLAN TO BE A PUBLISHED AUTHOR IN THE NEAR-FUTURE, YOU CAN BUILD AN ARMY. AND EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT, YOU CAN STILL JUST BUILD AN ARMY BASICALLY. FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

There is no downside to having an army, honestly. Even if you don’t plan to write a book and therefore instruct your army to buy it, read it, and zoom you to the bestseller list in 24hrs — you can use your army for other things.

I use my army to admire pictures of my dog. #priorities

Also there is something deliciously satisfying to gaze upon your follower count and think “WELL LOOK AT THESE HUMANS WHO ARE ACTUALLY COMING BACK AGAIN AND AGAIN TO HEAR MY DERANGED SHRIEKS.”

I mean the fact that people read my blog (which honestly is kinda weird and cake-obsessed) it just proves #2. Everyone here is SO WEIRD. And I love it.

8. YOU CAN CASUALLY DROP IN CONVERSATIONS PHRASES LIKE “OH, YES, I’M A BLOGGER AND I JUST CHATTED TO AN NYT BESTSELLER AUTHOR. WE’RE BFFS. JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE, YA KNOW.”

Just chattin’ with me mate * who is FAMOUS by the way.

Okay, but really. The first time I ever talked to an author on twitter, I raced upstairs and expired on the floor hyperventilating dementedly about talking to someone famous. I haven’t matured much since then? But. STILL.

I have interviewed Cornelia Funke. I have chatted with Derek Landy. I have had Rick Riordan share my post.

CAN I SHRIEK NOW??? THIS SURELY MAKES ME FAMOUS TOO, RIGHT????

* Although I’m not actually “friends” with any authors because I’m kind of terrified of them. They’re famous beasts! I’m an anxious fangirl! But I possibly maybe exaggerate to my family…you know. Just that one time…or two…

9. YOU CAN BLAME YOUR NEED TO CONSUME SO MUCH CHOCOLATE ON THE BLOG. NOT YOU. IT’S THE BLOG’S FAULT.

Not that we should technically have to explain away chocolate consumption? But if anyone ever looks at me dubiously while I instruct my dragons to fill the house with boxes of chocolate, I can just say dismissively, “It’s for the blog.” And they can do nothing but leave me to it. Perfect.

10. YOU HAVE HAVE SO MUCH MORE SPACE TO CONVERT PEOPLE TO READING AND LOVING YOUR FAVOURITE BOOKS.

Not to say the good ol’ fashion way is bad or anything. (And by “old fashioned way”, I’m referring to kidnapping a family/friend/alien/cat and duct taping them to a chair and forcing them to read your favourite novel for hours and hours until they swear to be a lifelong fan.) It’s still feasible. BUT. With a blog, you have so much more reach.

How often do I talk about Maggie Stiefvater? How many tweets have I received telling me that a human is reading Maggie Stiefvater because of me? How often do I post Stiefvater books on instagram? How often do I randomly pause in a post and shriek “STEIFVATERFAN!”? The answer is: muchly. And it works. The amount of books I’ve sold…sheesh. I’m sure Maggie Stiefvater is going to hire me pretty soon as her personal publicity manager.

CONVERTING PEOPLE TO MY FAVOURITE BOOKS = THE BEST FEELING EVER.

By the way, obviously, if you haven’t read a Stiefvater book yet…I THINK YOU NEED TO QUESTION YOUR LIFE CHOICES. I also have dragons. And they might come after you. Just putting it out there.

do you think these are good reasons to start a book blog? any more reasons to add to my list? what’s the BEST part of book blogging for you??? LET US CHAT!

Is It Possible To Read “Too Much”?

23rd Jan 2016 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 243 Comments

Once upon a time, I was sagely informed in that I “read too much”. I’ve been told this from humans I know and also from internet creatures. Cue outrage and horror on my part. HOW COULD I EVER READ TOO MUCH?! How dare that phrase even exist! Rise my dragons! Destroy this concept!

But since it’s a phrase that bothers me…I thought about it. I mean, once upon a time, I read less than 100 books a year. I recall giving mostly 4 and 5 star ratings. Is that because I was awesome at picking books back then? Or because I didn’t have a very high standard since I hadn’t read so much? Did reading less books make me nicer to books? And is that a good or a bad thing?!?

CUE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.

I like to love books. It’s an amazing feeling to kersplat your face into a novel and just absorb the story like it’s the most delicious cheesecake the world has ever known. Books are friends. Books inspire. Books instigate thinking. Books are artistic. Books cause you to view the world from different angles. Books tell you secrets. Books…

I mean, need I go on?!

I am made of 70% books. (I think the rest is 20% cake and 10% paper cuts.) BOOKS. That is how much they mean to me! I EAT BOOKS AND I LOVE IT.

But I rate about 65% of what I read 3 stars or lower. (This is a rough statistic. Actually most of the statistics on my blog are pulled out of thin air. Trust them though. Because if I say it, it must be true.) So doesn’t that mean reading so much isn’t working for me?

All that’s left, obviously, is a PROs and CONs list! I know! I know! A LIST. I love lists.

P R O S

You get to live basically a thousand lives. And why would you knock that back, seriously?! WHY?!?
You can experience so. much. stuff. Like skydiving or being chased by Romanian crocodiles or eating cheesecake by a waterfall. The options are ENDLESS.
It helps you understand other people better. If you’re an unfeeling Vulcan like me…sometimes it’s nice to have humans laid out in black and white, with all their complexities explained.
Also, it gives you friends. REAL FRIENDS TOO. The fictional friends are awesome…but what about the bookworm community?!? Bookworms UNITE. When you’re a bookworm, it’s like being abducted by other dead-tree-reading-fiends. You can eat books and howl together. What is not to love?!
But I’m not going to underestimate the fictional friends too, because, daaaaang, what would I do without my fictional buddies?! Even if they pretty much ignore my existence even though I’m infatuated with theirs. Rude.
If it’s your passion, than that’s downright epic…because what could be better than simultaneously collecting ART and WORDS and STORIES?!? They are like the most important thing in existence! After cheesecake…oh gosh. Wait. Maybe even BEFORE CHEESECAKE. This is getting serious.
Your brain becomes like a library because you’ve read so. so. much.
Ergo you can recommend books very easily because you’ve read them all. This is helpful to slower reading bookworm friends. You can tell them where those Romanian crocodiles are lurking and whether they should skip or not.
Reading makes you smarter. It just does, okay? Ask me how to take care of a bee hive or how to do archery or how long it takes to travel the Oregon trail…AND I CAN TELL YOU THANKS TO BOOKS.
If you read a lot you’re equipped for any conversation. If a human says, “So this one time I was lost in Siberia –” and then you can jump in with “OH I READ THAT IN A BOOK ONCE” and — boom — you can have a great conversation! Because I’m positive this is how conversations work.

C O N S

Your brain gets so stuffed with books you forget other things. Like to how to bake bread or what your middle name is.
And also you can forget books because you’ve read so many. Guilty of that…no denying. Sometimes books blur together too so you aren’t really sure which character fits where or how that series ended.
Your standards get set MONSTROUSLY HIGH. And while it isn’t a bad thing to be in love with quality…it means you get more picky. Time is wasted on less-than-stellar books because you’ve seen it done better.
It can take up a lot of your time. Unless you like to swallow books hole and absorb the story through your stomach, then reading will take up most of your night. Or your day. I’m not picky. It’s just maybe you’ll miss out on other things if you read all the time. (Is this a con though? Wouldn’t you want to read versus going outside and risking being burnt to death by the savage sun? I mean — NATURE AIN’T SAFE, PEOPLES.)
Books can take over your house and you might have to live in a cardboard box outside. I’m on the verge of this happening to me. Of course this wouldn’t happen if you only libraried or kindled your books. But. Copious readers often lead to copious libraries. Which often leads to copious of despair over bookshelves.
Fictional life is better than real life?! Okay, I’m partially joking here! But sometimes you can get lost in fictional worlds and they are just so much more interesting than your world. Sometimes you can get jealous because fictional characters do so much more than you.
You become unsure if you’re YOU or if you’re actually Katniss. Or, you know, insert any fictional character there. I mean, is that habit or thought MINE or do I do it because I read it in a book somewhere?! (Again though…is this really a con? Surely it’s not a con that when someone says “frosting” I say “IT’S THE FINAL DEFENCE OF THE DYING, PEETA” rather dramatically.)

Why are all my pros and cons lists so evenly split? IT DOESN’T HELP ANYONE, CAIT.

I think the fact of the day, though is: read however much you possibly want. Because if it makes you happy, you should jolly well DO IT. (Unless serial killing makes you happy, or stealing avocados, or anything else morally wrong…then I don’t condone it, okay?) You can compensate for the negatives. For instance: I have a bad memory already, so I forget what I read fairly quickly…ergo I write reviews to remind myself of the book.

But ultimately, I’m in favour of happiness, okay?

I’m also guilty of wanting to know things. All the things? YES. ALL THE THINGS. And this is why I read, and I think that’s okay.

So can you read “too much”? The positives outweigh the negatives for me. But I won’t deny that reading copiously DOES have mildly bothersome drawbacks.

what do YOU say? can you read “too much”? do you suffer from any of the cons I listed about reading copiously?

YA Books Without Romance ~ I Promise You THEY DO TOTALLY EXIST

29th Dec 2015 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 263 Comments

I often hear fellow bookworms raise their voices in the agony of despair over how YA books focus on romance so much. We do have rights to whine because — YES, most YA books do feature a romance and a lot of time it is the focus.

But not “all YA books”. NEVER ALL OF THEM.

If anyone says “all YA books do [insert cliche/trope here]” then I honestly believe they have not read very many.

I am not a monstrously romantic person myself. Although I do like to ship* and I often find romances entertaining or squishily nice to read about. I also laugh at them a lot. I also yell at the book “YOU’RE 16 FREAKING YEARS OLD, CALM DOWN” because I’m an old hermit and have legal right to say these things now.

* The term “ship” unfortunately does not mean to captain a crew and become pirates. It means to root for two characters to have a “relationship“. See? SHIP.

So for those of us who are after a YA book that is devoid of the romance category — I AM HERE FOR YOU. I have a glorious list.

(There may be hints of romance. Attraction? But nothing develops into a full fledged googly eyes fest.)

THERE WILL BE LIES: This is about a…a lot of things. All of which are basically spoilers to say. BUT. There are illegal activities and a deaf protagonist and kidnappings and roadtrips. Zlich on the romance.

DEMON ROAD: Technically there is a secondary character who’s “in love” wiht the protagonist. But she a) doesn’t love him, b) NEVER loved him, c) in fact she detests him. Ergo, I don’t call it love. Demons and roadtrips and killer cars and friendship — and THAT IS ALL.

MAGNUS CHASE AND THE SWORD OF SUMMER: After the squishy cuteness that is Percabeth, I honestly expected Magnus and his sidekick, Samirah, to get together. BUT NO. Sam loves someone else! Magnus loves nobody! IT’S A MIRACLE.

IT’S KIND OF A FUNNY STORY: The focus is basically depression and recovery and while there’s a girl in there alongside the narrator, Craig….it just isn’t a romance.

CHALLENGER DEEP: This one is about schizophrenia. There is absolutely NO romance in there…which I found really refreshing, because for once it focused on recovery and family and self — instead of smooching your problems away.

JACKABY: While the protagonist, Abigail, makes googly eyes at a local constable…their relationship never evolves past there. I would say zlich to the romance. Unless you count Jackaby, who is basically a Sherlock Holmes character, being romantically attracted to a duck.

SHE IS NOT INVISIBLE: This is about a blind girl who “kidnaps” her little brother to fly overseas and find their father. It’s an incredible book!! Also no romance! Because they’re finding their DAD.

MESSENGER OF FEAR: This book has no time for romance because it’s too busy creeping you out. No complaints, folks, noooo complaints.

THE KNIFE OF NEVER LETTING GO: There is a boy and a girl in this story and I see potential. But they’re like 14 and sort of trying to live. There is no romance. They’ve got priorities.

CHARM & STRANGE: It’s a confusing mess of a boy who has….eh, who even knows. He is definitely mentally ill. But there is no romance here. Just howling.

EON: Fantasy, dragons, girl-posing-as-a-guy…you know the drill. Plus Eona has no time for boys when she’s got DRAGONS.

THE GIRL FROM THE WELL: There are ghosts. GHOSTS. And they kill people and there’s blood everywhere and the protagonist has exactly no love interest. NOT EVEN WITH THE GHOST.

THE MAZE RUNNER: People might argue that there is a romance…but I honestly don’t think so. In later books — yes. In the first book? Nada. Thomas and Theresa have history but that doesn’t equal attraction.

ROSE UNDER FIRE: BECAUSE ALL YOU DO IS CRY WHILE YOU READ THIS BOOK. THERE IS NO TIME FOR ROMANCE. ONLY DROWNING IN TEARS. I highly recommend this book. Go read it. Feel pain. Hate me for my recommendation. But secretly be grateful.

Because we need to ask the important questions here. Why? WHYYYYYYY. As an unromantic bean I do ask myself this copiously. For every 30 YA books I read, maybe 1 will have no romance. And as I’m reading, I’m so much more likely to care more about a) Katniss saving Prim instead of whatever-she-feels-for-Peeta, b) for Cinder to rule the moon, c) for Saba to rescue her brother Lugh.

DON’T GET ME WRONG. I do like those romances (particularly Saba and Jack…squeak!) but I’m not sure that every book needs a romance on top of the adventure.

SO I MADE A LIST OF HYPOTHESIS TO WHY ROMANCE IS SO PROMINENT IN BOOKS:

The author really wishes they’d found a Nice Adorable Person when they were 16 so they’re writing in their own dreams. Total legit. Do you know how often I write about cake? A. lot.
It creates tension. Tension is good for books. It’s great that the protagonist is fighting zombie sand stuff physically…but how about giving them tension emotionally? Good writing tip, dudes.
A lot of teenagers think about romance. I mean…I THINK??? I’VE HEARD???? When I was 16 I wrote an epic fantasy with man-eating-horses and murder and torture and bleeding and fun stuff like that. I’m sure that’s…normal too.
Publishers want what will sell. Which makes sense because they’re earning a living too, right? And people have snabbled up romances since forever. THEY SELL.
People like to read about other humans’ lives working out. It’s like the most basic story telling! Protagonist defeats the bad guy! Saves the girl/guy! Rides into the sunset! Lives happily ever after with a small herd of babies to raise and name alphabetically! IT’S HAPPINESS. Storytelling has told us this since Eve met Adam, okay? Although they sucked at the whole “ride into the sunset happily” and instead cursed of all mankind. Plot twist.

I, personally, do not have a problem with YA books being romantic. Even if it’s not my favourite thing! I do think it’d be nice if non-romance-orientated books weren’t so blindingly hard to find. I do think it’d be nice if more books promoted the fact that you can be happy without a significant other.

BUT NOT “EVERY” YA BOOK HAS ROMANCE. HA! I just proved it.

how do you feel about romance in YA books? do you enjoy it? do you wish there were more non-romance focused books? ADD TO MY LIST OF NON-ROMANTIC BOOKS!!

What To Do When You Think Your Writing Woefully Sucks

23rd Apr 2015 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 42 Comments

Self doubt absolutely sucks.

When one is a writer and is suddenly struck with that paralysing notion of “OMG WHAT IF EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WRITTEN IS AWFUL?” it’s rather hard to bounce out of it. Have you been there, done that? Me too, my friend, me too.

So. How do we climb out of the “I suck at writing and everything is woeful” hole? What is the golden secret?!

Lucky for you (pfft, I’m joking, lucky for me) I have gathered a conglomeration of writers to discuss these doldrums. I turned my highly powerful puppy-dog-eyes on these fabulous fiends, and they’ve contributed to my post. I’m quite excited to do another collaboration post after the gloriousness that was my 2015 YA book predictions! SO ENJOY. That was a requirement by the way, decreed by your queen. [Me.]

CAIT @ PAPER FURY

I’m going to be super short and sweet I’m always so sweet because everyone below is amazing and sums up my thoughts so well. Doubt sucks, but an important thing to remember is: EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THIS! You’re not alone! Also keep in mind:

If you think you suck, then it means you have excellent taste in art and want to improve. That’s GREAT.
Taking a break or hiatus from your novel is not a bad thing.
Don’t compare yourself to published authors. They aren’t working on their books alone! They’ve got hoards of professional input and (trust me) it changes everything.
Remind yourself why you’re working on this project/novel. Plaster a big sign on your bedroom wall, do WHATEVER IT TAKES, but just keep the reason you’re passionate about your book on your mind.
Definitely eat chocolate. Like, totally ignore the rest of my list, and just eat chocolate. It’ll work.

KARA @ DIARY OF A TEEN WRITER

Literally the BEST thing to do when you’re feeling down about your writing is to take. A. Step. BACK. Because, if you’re all like me, and you’re constantly hovering between those states of this-is-the-best-thing-ever to why-did-I-even-want-to-be-a-writer-oh-gosh-this-sucks, then you’re not really going to be looking at your writing from a balanced, complete perspective. Sometimes the best cure for feeling down about your writing is space. Go for a walk. Watch a TV show. Read a book. See a movie. Eat some chocolate. (I highly suggest this last one. Very beneficial.) BUT, in saying that, don’t let yourself wallow in self-pity for too long, either. Accept that your writing is not going to perfect–as hard as this is for perfectionists like me–and come back to your writing with the attitude that, hey, it might not be the best, but I can always work on it to make it better.

KATE @ THE MAGIC VIOLINIST

This is a tricky topic for multiple reasons. First off, because all writers deal with writer’s block and self-doubt. There’s no avoiding it, I’m afraid. You will encounter it at some point in your life. Second of all, because there’s no one way to deal with it. We’re all unique and handle our writing troubles differently. But hopefully I can at least give you some ideas on how to tackle this gloominess.

When I’m feeling down about my writing, I try hard to balance stepping away and not getting lazy. We all need breaks sometimes, so I’ll take a couple days to read and watch Netflix and recharge. But I can’t wait for too long, otherwise I’ll procrastinate. After those couple days of relaxing, I make myself sit down and write something. It could be anything–a blog post, fan-fiction, a poem, or just a piece of freewriting–but it has to be something. It doesn’t even have to be good. Usually just getting back into the habit of typing on my keyboard is enough to give me that push I need. Don’t worry if you’re feeling down. You’ll be back to normal in no time!

ALYSSA @ THE DEVIL ORDERS TAKE-OUT

You know when people say write the book you want to read? The book you want to read is of course perfection itself. The book you write often isn’t.

When my writing isn’t where I want it to be, I do one of two things. First, I can power on — but switch tactics. Sometimes this means boiling my writing down into a query or a synopsis to get at its essence, or separating it into different documents, or calling upon my wonderful CPs and betas to talk it over. The feeling might be just nerves, but more often it’s a legit problem in my writing. Changing perspectives lets me see what’s wrong and hopefully dig my way out.

The other option is to step away. Not just from the project I’m struggling with, but all writerly things, so that I can recharge completely. Getting a new stack of books is a prime example, but I also dabble in fanfiction, graphic design, and knitting. Yes, knitting. I’m actually knitting a scarf right now. (A scarf with holes, but that’s beside the point.) No, I’m not knitting the names of my enemies into it.

SOPHIA @ RAVENS AND WRITING DESKS

Do you other writers ever just look at this beautiful, heartbreaking, mindblowing, complicated world, and think – I’m supposed to turn that into WORDS? It’s kind of ironic that something so glorious as our planet and the people who inhabit it could make me feel so depressed about my ability to write, but it does. I wonder: How will I ever become skillful enough? How have my favorite authors become skillful enough? WHERE IS THE MAGIC POTION?

You all know, obviously, that there is a magic potion and it is called Practice, but it’s still so easy to get overwhelmed, especially with the idea that all those fabulous authors out there write better than you. (They’re so good, how will I ever get published, I might as well stop writing.) (Bad idea.) The greatest cure I’ve found for this kind of writerly jealousy and despair was an old post by Maggie Stiefvater wherein she shares with us an old excerpt of her childhood writing. Because if I know that MAGGIE used to write that mediocrely, it makes me feel a heck of a lot more confident about my own writing.

Another thing I do to help me when I’m feeling down about my writing is – short stories! The awesome thing about short stories it that they’re short. (No, duh.) You can jot a couple pages down and feel accomplished, and they help get your mind off your current larger project. It’s especially nice to write a short story in a different genre then your main project.

ALLIE @ LITTLE BIRDIE BOOKS

Firstly, I must have some sort of cake (or brownie, I’m not picky) and it must be chocolate. I then proceed to have a carefully constructed ritual of sobbing while eating said cake. Let it never be said writers cannot multi-task!

Then I begin the deconstructing: why am I feeling down about my writing? Am I comparing it to other people’s? If so, I tell myself to GET IT TOGETHER. Not everybody writes the same way and that’s the beauty of being a writer. You get to share your unique voice and ideas with the world. The entire selling point is that it’s something different. So be proud of that. Don’t try and emulate someone else, because then you lose the magic.

If I’m just feeling like my writing isn’t up to standard in general, then I’ve probably lost my mojo/love for the story (this is an incredibly technical term, obviously. Mojo, from the Latin: to be unable to form coherent sentences or thoughts, causing one to eat much cake). The best fix I have for this is going back over and reading my story. From the beginning. I put myself into the mind-set of the reader and just binge. While I’m reading I edit (always useful), but it’s mostly SUPER helpful in inspiring me. I get so many new ideas and start to see my characters in a new light and, really, it just refreshes the story for me. It helps rekindle my love for it and remember why I started writing it in the first place. And that then puts my writerly gears back in action.

Aaand a third and final tip: FORGET ABOUT IT. I don’t mean abandon it entirely. I mean forget about it for a week. Or two. Or a month. Put it off your radar and kick back and relax. It’s not going anywhere and you’ll be surprised how much taking a break will inspire an awesome comeback. Sometimes we get stressed and worry if we don’t write then the world might end and someone will forbid us from ever eating chocolate again. But it’s not true. The world will keep going and taking a break will make you and your story come alive again.

Failing that, return to step one.

SKY @ FURTHER UP AND FURTHER IN

We’ve all been there. WHO WROTE THIS AWFUL MESS OF WORDS AND GIBBERISH? That’s when you realize: Oh. I did. When this happens, what’s a writer to do?

1.) Take a step back. Let your writing simmer for a while. When you come back, you may have fresh perspective. And if you don’t, that’s when you get to edit your writing and hack it to pieces.

Which leads me to…

2.) Kill your darlings. Or, in this case, your not-so-darlings. If you can pinpoint what it is that’s making you go EW about your writing, then fix it, that will probably help you get your face out of permanent cringe mode.

3.) CONFIDENCE IS KEY. Find a piece of writing you do like. Read that. Remember: you. are. awesome. Even if you think some of your writing isn’t awesome, there’s always the next novel. The next sentence. The next word. Believe it or not, you can write awesome things. You’ve got this.

MIRRIAM @ WISHFUL THINKING

Here’s the thing – every writer is going to be down about their writing, at some point. Nobody ever cruises along on a surface of perfection, Nobody writes 10,000 words every day, and nobody leans back in their chair and thinks, “Yep. That’s it. I won’t change a thing.” Personally, I go through phases. I write steadily in the grand scheme of things, but I’ll have a few days or even a week where I feel dry, and the most I can manage is a sentence or two here and there. (Nothing makes you feel more pathetic, as a writer.)

Fortunately, I’ve learned some helpful tricks over the years.

It’s okay. You don’t have to write every day. You can take a break and read a book or watch a show or go for a hike or draw a picture. It’s good to take a break from things now and then, even if it’s only a small one.
Try reading books or watching movies/TV shows in the same genre as what you’re writing, if you lack inspiration. This is a trick that always helps me.
Turn off the music. I have a dozen tailored playlists on iTunes, but sometimes when I’m really stuck, I just need to turn the music off.
Look at why you’re stuck. One of the main reasons I get stuck is because I’ve written something wrong – a character’s name or personality, a plotline that doesn’t need to be in there. Somehow, my subconscious knows that I’m doing something wrong, and it shuts down on me. Look back over things.
Get a second opinion. I have close friends who read what I write and are enormously helpful with this kind of thing – find someone you trust and have them read what you’ve written. Hear them out.

And in the end, curling up with Netflix and a cup of coffee is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. You can write tomorrow.

CHLOE @ THE BOOK HUGGER

I’m sure many of you have experienced the dreaded feeling of believing that your writing isn’t has good as someone else’s. It makes you want to rip whatever you’re writing to shreds. But do not fear! I have tips for you on how to defeat this monster.

Don’t read other young writers’ writing. If you are a young writer, do not read other young people’s writing. This will probably reinstate the self-doubt and end up comparing yourself to others.
Take a break from your piece. Or from writing altogether. Sometimes it’s good to let something sit for two days or two weeks or two months. Whatever seems like the best amount of time for you. Then, when you go back, it will be fresh and your brain won’t be as clogged.
REMEMBER: YOU ARE STILL LEARNING. This tip is especially for younger writers, but also can be targeted at anyone. You are not a professional, paid author. You need to remember that you are not 100% experienced yet and do not have all the skills you’d like to eventually master.
Do not compare yourself with published authors. If you are doing this, just first, STAHP. These authors are published for a reason. They are far more experienced and have gone through a lot to get their books in print. You are not their equal, and therefore cannot compare your writing with theirs.
And lastly, remember: you’re fabulous.

phewf, that’s a lot of info to wade through, but i hope you liked it, my bathymetric blogglings! do you agree with these tips?! do you DISAGREE with any?! totally share in the comments, i want your thoughts! and add to my list: what do you do when you think your writing sucks??

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C.G. @ Paper Fury

Now I know I’m super annoying but…I FINISHED NANOWRIMO IN 3 DAYS.

OTHER HELPFUL POSTS INCLUDE:

(Spoiler: Some of those posts are no true help at all because I’m a sarcastic little wombat. But I am here to confuse and destroy and give you cake. You’re welcome.)

1. PRACTISE SPRINTING UNTIL YOU CAN SPRINT LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SPRUNT BEFORE.

But a little backstory on my last three NaNoWriMo experiences?

* I mean…not that I would know. [WINK WINK]

2. HAVE A 5-YEAR PLAN.

* Just kidding, we still fight, but mostly it’s a good relationship.

3. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE AWFUL.

* Okay, fine, maybe your 1st drafts are perfect little works of art but I can’t look at you. Whose soul did you sell?

4. HARVEST THE SOULS OF YOUR READERS AND DRINK THEIR TEARS.

5. MAKE THE TIME, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO STEAL A TIME MACHINE.

A very simplified schedule of how I write would look thusly:

And least to say: no procrastination. NO. NONE. NONE. AT. ALL.

* Wait. That is scary. ** And some of us have less than that after NaNoWriMo. But yet we remain! Go us!

6. I’M A MOTIVATED LITTLE MONSTER.

* Except for the fact that I baked it and I am beautifully magical.

Speed writing isn’t for everyone, but if you want to do it: GO FOR IT.

NOTE: I will not be sharing snippets on my NaNo book this time, fiends! There there, it’ll be okay. Lemme be secretive occasionally.

Writing can be mildly terrifying…particularly if it’s a first draft.

THERE. Now go forth and write a very successful first draft of your glorious novel for NaNoWriMo.

* OMG THAT WAS SO SAPPY AND MOTIVATIONAL! AHH!! Aaaaand…I just ruined the moment, didn’t I? #MyBad

do you like writing first drafts?! (i actually love it because freeeeedom!!) or do you struggle to find motivation? do any of these magnificent tips seem helpful to you? what do you think is your writing strength (or what do you particularly enjoy) during first drafts??

It’s time to speak of my favourite topic of them all: VILLAINS.

* And even if you’re not curious, guess what? YOU GET TO KNOW ALL THE REASONS ANYWAY because my #2 life skill is talking about dark-hearted cinnamon rolls. (My #1 life skill, by the way, is cake. Cake is a complete life skill.)

1. SIX OF CROWS DULOGY

2. PRINCE OF THORNS

3. ROCKS FALL EVERYONE DIES

4. VICIOUS

5. CURSEWORKER TRILOGY

6. V IS FOR VILLAIN

* SORRY I COULDN’T EVEN RESIST MAKING A BAD PUN HERE. ** 2014 was 2 years ago, not 39 years ago. But it’s only a slight difference and don’t get so hung up on the details omg.

7. HOW TO LEAD A LIFE OF CRIME

* Fun Story: I bought my copy at a library sale and TORE THE COVER trying to get the stickers off. So you will only ever see the spine to hide my shame. Also this is not a fun story. Who said it was??? Who is writing this post because they are fired.

8. MY SISTER ROSA

9. AND I DARKEN

10. HALF BAD TRILOGY

* You know what this means, right?! I have my moments of glorious wit = ergo I’m obviously in the prime position to take over the world and eat it maliciously mwhaahhahh. Ahem.

There’s something about seeing a dark creepy wood that makes you just…WANNA GO INSIDE IT AND POTENTIALLY DIE.

1. THE RAVEN CYCLE BY MAGGIE STIEFVATER

[goodreads]

2. THE CRESSWELL PLOT BY ELIZA WASS

[goodreads]

3. THE DARKEST PART OF THE FOREST BY HOLLY BLACK

[goodreads]

* This seems like an insult but it’s really the most gargantuanly nice compliment ever. I SWEAR I LOVE YOU HOLLY BLACK. ** Because whyyyyy do we need book trailers? IT’S A BOOK. IT’S NOT A FILM. Plus I don’t take kindly to being told how to imagine things, thank you very much.

4. THE ACCIDENT SEASON BY MOIRA FOWLEY-DOYLE

[goodreads]

* If I say another variation of “aesthetically pleasingly creepy” after this you can hit me WITH AND AESTHETICALLY PLEASING HAMMER.

5. DEMON ROAD BY DEREK LANDY

[goodreads]

6. SISTERS RED BY JACKSON PEARCE

[goodreads]

7. THE OCEAN AT THE END OF THE LANE BY NEIL GAIMAN

[goodreads]

8. WINK POPPY MIDNIGHT BY APRIL GENEVIEVE TUCHOLKE

[goodreads]

9. SPLINTERED BY AG HOWARD

[goodreads]

10. BONE GAP BY LAURA RUBY

[goodreads]

One of my favourite parts of book blogging is definitely #bookstagram.

Today I shall guide you throw how to kick start your #bookstagram obsession.

SIGNING UP

PRO TIPS:

USING THE RIGHT CAMERA

THE AESTHETIC

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

(They’re totally not frequently asked…but they could be. I’m being organised just in case.)

THE PROPS

FREE OR CHEAP PROP IDEAS:

THE PHOTOS

Now how do you actually take the photos?

EDITING YOUR PHOTOS

THE HASHTAGS

CHALLENGES

PRO TIPS

INSPIRATION

**Now I know I’m super annoying but…I FINISHED NANOWRIMO IN 3 DAYS.**

* Wait. That is scary.
** And some of us have less than that after NaNoWriMo. But yet we remain! Go us!

**Writing can be mildly terrifying…particularly if it’s a first draft.**

* SORRY I COULDN’T EVEN RESIST MAKING A BAD PUN HERE.
** 2014 was 2 years ago, not 39 years ago. But it’s only a slight difference and don’t get so hung up on the details omg.

* This seems like an insult but it’s really the most gargantuanly nice compliment ever. I SWEAR I LOVE YOU HOLLY BLACK.
** Because whyyyyy do we need book trailers? IT’S A BOOK. IT’S NOT A FILM. Plus I don’t take kindly to being told how to imagine things, thank you very much.

**Now how do you actually take the photos?**

**do you have a bookstagram account?! do you have any beginner’s tips you can add to my list??? LET US HELP THE NEWBIES! if you haven’t started taking bookish photos…do you want to?!?**