Wow this book is indeed beautiful and about messes and my entire opinion is: yes.
Actually haha to you if you thought my opinion was as simple as one line. Of course not. I’m physically unable to stop myself from writing mammoth reviews (IN LISTS, OBVIOUSLY) because I have much to say.
I had so so many feelings about this book. SO MANY. It did have a rather unsatisfying ending that made me gnash my teeth, but otherwise it’s a story about anxiety and depression and it is excellently written. It also won the Text Publishing Prize of 2016 and I CAN SEE WHY.
Also can I add I’m totally onboard with the title?! Because it’s basically my entire instagram aesthetic.
- THE REPRESENTATION OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION IS SO SO WELL DONE. It’s dual narrated by Gideon and Ava, and they’re both really struggling. Gideon with severe anxiety/depression/self harm in the past, and Ava has depression after her best friend died. I related a lot to Gideon honestly. He is a soft awkward cinnamon child and you can’t help but adore him. I just really felt like this book UNDERSTOOD what life is like with depression / anxiety. It’s so refreshing not to have it (a) romanticised, (b) cured by falling in love, or (c) belittled. I just…I just…thank you.
- IT HAS A VERY HEALTHY OUTLOOK ON GETTING HELP. Therapists are not evil!! Medication can help!! Talk to your parents!! Romance will not save you!! Like holy kelp where was this book when I was 17?!?? Also it underlines really really heavily that having mental health issues does NOT equal that you are a broken object. I can’t stress how important that is. There seems to be this whole push to say “mental illness equals brokenness you need to fix it” and I, personally, don’t always believe you are. You need help, support, and management to live your life the best you can. But you’re not a broken thing okay???? AND THIS IS THE TITLE OF THE BOOK, MY FIENDS. We can be messes but we are still beautiful.
“Do you know what the Japanese say about broken things?” Robbie looks at me. “Kintsukuroi they call it. They take broken pieces of porcelain and they repair cracks with gold. Making it as it was, but new again. They believe that the cracks can make something more beautiful, more valuable.”
“Is that for real?”
“Have I ever lied to you?”
“No.”
“They believe that the cracks shouldn’t be hidden, that they’re part of their history, and should be shown. If you’re going to show the cracks, why not show them beautifully.”
- DO YOU SEE THAT QUOTE????? My heart is so full of love for this book, this message, this wholesome goodness.
- THE CHARACTERS ARE FANTASTIC LITTLE POCKETS. I maybe loved Gideon more because he was a soft squish and quite self-depreciatingly funny. He made fun of himself, but the book didn’t make fun of his mental health issues. IMPORTANT DISTINCTION THERE. He’s super anxious but working hard to rebuild himself after a really rough 4 years. Gideon and Ava end up working at a kebab shop and they write letters because Gideon is offline. Ava was really spiky and hurting, and I loved how complex she was! She and Gideon became FRIENDS FIRST. #Nice. And then feelings. #SHIPPINGIT
- OH LOOK. NICE PARENTS. Who care! Wow what is this. Ava has a single father who’s super lovely and Gideon has two mums who are 100% there for him and fantastic.
- THE WRITING IS SUPER ENGAGING AND I DIDN’T WANT TO PUT IT DOWN. I loved their voices! Ava is: “I take no shenanigans and will call out the rot here.” And Gideon is all: “I am trying to live the best life I can WOW A GIRL LOOKED AT ME AND I DIDN’T DIE WOW.” He’s so adorkable and I just ajfkdlsafd.
- WE GOTCHA FEELS. All the sad feels, the happy feels, the wow-Cait’s-stone-cold-heart-is-actually-beating-right-now feels.
- THERE ARE LISTS!! Gideon functions in lists and I think that’s adorable and relatable. I did love their letters too! Although they petered out as the book went on? But it’s super cute writing to people, especially if you have anxiety because it can literally be the difference between making a friend and not — writing can make getting your true self and thoughts down so much easier. BLESS THIS BOOK FOR KNOWING WHAT ANXIETY IS LIKE.
I don’t think any of us are normal. We’ve all got shit going on, but we’re all trying to convince each other that we’re normal. I think it’s fucked. I think it would be so much better if we were all just more honest and said when things were bad, or that we weren’t okay or we were sick or we were happy or whatever.
- I’M A LITTLE TIRED OF THE “MY BEST FRIEND JUST DIED” TROPE. Mostly because it’s like in 80% of YA contemporaries these days? I personally struggle to connect to a character who’s grieving over someone I never met on page. So it makes it like “telling vs showing” because I’m just told about this character was great blah blah etc. I’m also an insensitive turnip so sorry about that.
- THAT ENDING THOUGH…NO. It felt predictable, except Gideon acted WAY out of character. And then the book just left me feeling unsatisfied. Maybe my expectations were just misplaced? But that ending totally knocked it down a full star.
This is definitely a beautiful (har har TITLE PUN) book with such important words to say about mental health, love, and brokenness.
It was bittersweet and funny and absolutely ADORABLE AND CUTE at times. The slow-burn romance was my favourite. Gideon made me laugh/cry simultaneously which is a feat so well done, sir. And I am just so so pleased and heartened that this book exists, even if the ending makes me sort of want to rub lemon leaves in my eyes and growl.
I’m so glad I read this!
THANK YOU TO TEXT PUBLISHING FOR THE REVIEW COPY. Beautiful Mess by Claire Christian was published August 2017!
★★★★☆
Since Ava lost Kelly, things haven’t been going so well. Even before she gets thrown out of school for shouting at the principal, there’s the simmering rage and all the weird destructive choices. The only thing going right for Ava is her job at Magic Kebab.
Which is where she meets Gideon. Skinny, shy, anxious Gideon. A mad poet and collector of vinyl records with an aversion to social media. He lives in his head. She lives in her grief. The only people who can help them move on with their lives are each other.
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Wow. This book has a lot to offer. I’d love to read it as a good example of what it looks like to write characters with mental illness. It’s a fine line sometimes. I attempted a long time ago and I can see how I feel into a lot of the harmful tropes. At the time I was dealing with mental health issues myself and it was coping mechanism, so I’m not too torn up about how I wrote it, but still.
Also, best friends before romance trope = the best. Always a 10/10 in my book.
I hope you can find it someday!! I also have totally messed up while writing about mental health matters…I mean, people say that if you experience something, oooh go write about it! You’ll get it right! And um, not really.😂 We can still mess it up because it’s HARD.
Ahhh, I know right?! Friends to lovers is the best in books. 😍
that is a massive piece of cake! you should have given it to Gideon! Love that review, understand your pain about acting out of character.
I didn’t eat it allll trust me. 😂 But Gideon and Ava 100% deserve all the cake.
This sounds excellent, though I haven’t read it. I did enjoy The Lost and Found. I loved the various mental illness rep in The Names They Gave Us, especially as friends worked together to help younger kids. And Radio Silence was great!this cover is LOVELY, wow!
The Lost And Found was SO SO GOOD OMG. Basically everything that Katrina Leno writes is amazing.❤️ And Radio Silence is so fabulous and precious. And actually I’m reading a Quiet Kind of Thunder right now and it’s also EXCELLENT with the anxiety rep.
Wonderful review, and I need this book in my life, although it’s a pity that the ending was unsatisfying. Definite yeses to positive views on therapists! I also like how they have wonderful families, therefore showing that mental health may deteriorate even with the support of families, and it’s not just being “overacting” or “you have nothing to be sad about.”
Latest review of They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera
YES YES THAT TOO! I know a lot of people don’t get this: but you don’t need a “good reason” to be depressed. It shouldn’t be so hard for the world to grasp but it is. Gah. 😭 And I just love how this book addressed so so many important issues and stigmas around mental health and like I think it was spot on. ❤️
Oh my god. Oh my GOD there’s actually GOOD depression/anxiety/mental illness representation? No romanticization? Nothing like that? *adds to TBR about a million times* I have been looking for a book like this for so long, especially since I struggle with depression and OCD. Therapy is good! Love doesn’t cure all! Thank you thank you thank you for introducing me to this book, Cait. Awesome review as always!
I KNOW RIGHT?! THIS BOOK IS A GIFT TO OUR PLANET. I’m so so glad it exists. ❤️
This sounds amazing! It really is so rare to read a truly good book about mental illness, especially if you want to read one that isn’t so depressing you end up wanting to stab your eyeballs out with sporks, but I digress.
I’m still reeling from the wonderful that was It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizziri (sp?). And how sad it was I only found it after he’d lost his fight.
Anyway, wish me luck because this year for Nanowrimo I’m delving into the world of mental illness and writing something unlike anything I’ve written before. It’s about an ex NYPD cop with agoraphobia and I’m hoping it will expand into a series. And that it doesn’t suck.
I so TOTALLY agree. Also when it’s just used as a tragic plot device? So not here for that. 😭 So I’m SUPER pleased this book has written and summed it up so well ahhh!!
And omg I feel so sad/sick every time I think of It’s Kind of A Funny Story…I read it before the author died and it just breaks my heart.
Oh good luck with your book! Agoraphobia is a tough thing to tackle, with all the underlying anxiety issues, so good luck with the research and everything!! (AND ALSO OMG NANO IS SO SOON HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.)
oooh this sounds so good! i’m in the middle of all the bright places but it’s kind of ehhh for me because it’s really…technical? I’ve also started the weight of zero about bipolar disorder which is also said to be technical so i’m not sure how much i’ll like both.
buT THIS SOUNDS REALLY GOOD i’ll have to check it out! darn you for making my tbr grow.
I really really adore All the Bright Places haha, but fair enough! Not every book is for everyone.😂 And I’ve heard of Weight of Zero but not read it yet. I want to though!
I’ve never heard of this book, so thanks for bringing it to my attention. I’m always happy when mental illnesses are shown realistically in books.
It IS so refreshing when they’re done realistically and not romanticised!
Curious to read Definitions of Indefinable Things and The Lost and Found. Still have to read Eliza yet though, hopefully it will come at Christmas. I love Radio Silence and am currently re-reading it, yay. 🙂
I personally loved Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall- you may have heard me mention it on Twitter- the mental health is amazing and it says how therapy is a good thing and love doesn’t cure everything. It’s partly based on the author’s own experiences so I learnt things, as well as being so happy this book is around now and wishing it had been at least five years ago.
I don’t which cover it would be in Australia but our UK cover is really pink, whereas the American one is less pink. But it’s the story that matters more, so I definitely recommend it. 🙂
I haven’t heard of Beautiful Mess before but I love the cover.
Ahhh I feel like rereading Radio Silence! I really need to buy myself a copy, because omg it was sooo good. And I have heard of Under Rose Tainted Skies and I WANT TO READ IT. I’m actually annoyed at myself for not having tried to find it yet. I’m definitely going to check out the library after I finish writing this comment and see if they have the ebook.😍
oh gosh <3 i'm usually sold on a story if it has 'adorkable' characters xp
I know right?! Aren’t they the best. EEEEP.
This book sounds amazing! Now I have another book to add to my TBR pile, very helpful you are. But it sounds like it has great representation, and I’ll definitely have to check it out! Also, that cover is beautiful! I love it!
IT IS. IT IS SO GOOD. 😍 I hope you get a chance to find it someday! (isn’t that cover just everything though?!😍)
THIS BOOK LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL. *swoons* I wish my library had iiiiit UGH. Whyyyyy. But i feel like I really do need to read it. Do you know of any other books that represent anxiety and/or depression well?
You could probably request your library buys it?! I HOPE THEY DO. 🎉
And also eeep, glad you asked haha. So Definitions of Indefinable Things (which I mentioned/linked to at the end of this post) is VERY similar and also 500% really accurate and good with depression rep. And I just finished A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard (like literally finished it 2 mins ago😂) which is SO good for the anxiety/panic attacks rep. Also Eliza And Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia is very very good on the anxiety front too. And Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell!
Ahhh thank you! I’m definitely going to check allllll of these out <3
CAN WE JUST APPRECIATE THE BEAUTY OF THIS COVER? It’s up there with the prettiest things I’ve ever seen. Also your review’s made me wish this book would just hurry up and arrive at my library because, especially considering letters and friends before romance, I need to read it. (How strange is it that Beautiful Mess sounds quite similar to Letters to the Lost which I’m currently reading and liking lots?)
ISN’T IT JUST. 😍😍 It was such a pleasure to photograph omg. And actually it does have similarities with Letters to the Lost! That would’ve been a smart one to put in the “you might also like” section haha.
The cover IS gorgeous!! Like, I would buy it JUST for the cov- i mean, no, i would neverrrr buy a book just for the cover…..
OF COURSE I WOULDN’T DO THAT EITHER. *blinks innocently*
For starters…what is that cake? It looks beautiful and I am hungry.
I didn’t know you had anxiety.
I feel like a lot of people say they “have anxiety” and use it in the place of nervousness, so when you say you have anxiety a lot of people give you the “Lol. Same.” answer and you have to tell them. “No. I LITERALLY have anxiety.”
Which gets old pretty fast.
(I can not get over how beautiful your cake is.)
IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND DELICIOUS. It’s like a jelly cake? It’s a dairy-free cheesecake but tastes more like jelly.😂
and omg I agree about the anxiety. It gets diminished so much because everyone’s like “Okay everyone has anxiety just get over it.” It’s completely different when it’s clinical anxiety. But it frustrates me so much when it’s not taken seriously. I so so love how this book portrayed it. <3
I’M SO GLAD YOU MENTIONED THAT ABOUT GIDEON, BECAUSE IT REALLY ANNOYED ME TOO. Like it was just sooooo manipulative and it almost ruined the whole book for me. But the rest was wonderful <3
Omg I didn’t think Gideon would do that?! Like I know he was angry, emotions running high, blah blah, etc…. but it was SO out of line I just…I lost so much respect right there.😭😭
Oh my god, I love the sound of this book! And the cover is just so gorgeous! I really, really want to read it! Going to have to try and find a copy 🙂 Hmm, my favourite book on mental health… I want to say All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven, but that ends badly, so not great. I really loved Made You Up by Francesca Zappia, though! So, so good!
I’m actually planning an mental illness in YA event on my blog for next year, so I’ve got a lot of books featuring mental health I want to read. Have just added this one to the list! 🙂
Great review, Cait! Thanks!
Yayyy so glad you want to read this one, Jo! AND OMG I JUST REALISED I HAVEN’T REPLIED TO YOUR EMAIL I WILL DO THAT NOW. 😳