Time to break out the jam tarts and start whispering secret confessions about #BookBlogging.
Because everyone loves a good confession, especially when it’s on my blog because you all think I’m perfectly fantastically flawless * and your evil little eyeballs are jumping at a chance to know all the things. And I’m entirely sure you all have QUESTIONS about my blogging life. Perhaps you have made assumptions. Perhaps you are curious. Perhaps you are none of these things but accidentally clicked on my blog because you were looking for an analysis on Nick Fury of the Avengers. But instead you got me. **
BUT WELCOME ANYWAY. Let’s spill these secrets! And eat tarts! Because WHY NOT.
* Which is actually still true.
** You’re welcome.
1. I DON’T ORGANISE BLOG PARTIES OR EVENTS OR DO COLLABORATIONS BECAUSE #LAZY.
When I started blogging, I was a regular HUB OF ACTIVITY. Blog parties? Gotcha. Collaborations with other excellent bloggers? We’re doin’ it. Huge blogversary celebrations? For sure. Book tours and interviews with authors and giveaways? ALL OF ‘EM.
It was an awful lot of work back then and I didn’t even have that many participants. So wouldn’t it be even more rewarding and more fun and more excellent to do these things now? WELL HECK YES IT WOULD BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I AM SUDDENLY SUPER LAZY. Dude, posting three times a week is exhausting enough, let alone being prepared in advance. Do you know my blog organisation skills consist of shouting at my dog to type up a review while I pet my bookshelf? Now you do.
I think I got old. Who is that little granny over yonder beating up planets with her cane?
Oh. It me.
2. I BARELY EVER BUY BOOKS.
If you’ve seen a picture of my bookshelf (stretch your eyes to the title photo of this post, you mulberry) you’re probably thinking, “BUT CAIT YOU HAVE SO MANY BOOKS????” It’s true. I have been ridiculously and enormously and incomprehensibly blessed as a book blogger. I’d estimate about 60% of my books were sent from publishers. Perhaps 10% are gifts from friends or giveaways I’ve won. And 10% are from library sales which means we’re talking 50 cents to $1 per book. And 20% I bought full price from the bookstore I freelance blog for in exchange for book vouchers.
Except for those library sales, I barely ever spend money on books. * Thrifty bookworm winning here. Which is good because I am the poor.
* Except for THE RAVEN KING, YO. I was buying that the second it was available at the Book Depository, you better believe. DASHED BE ALL OTHER NEEDS IN MY LIFE.
3. I HAVE A VERY STRICT UNORGANISED SCHEDULE.
True story, bro. And you think that phrase doesn’t make sense? WELCOME TO THE PHENOMENON THAT IS ME. But see let me explain:
On one hand: I post at 7:00pm exactly without fail, every single time. I have specific kinds of posts to go up on specific days. I upkeep my social media accounts only at specific hours. I AM LIKE THE CLOCKWORK BEAST OF AWESOME.
On the other hand: I have no idea what I’m going to post ahead of time. I schedule posts 2 mins in advance sometimes. I occasionally weep because I have NO IDEA WHAT TO BLOG OR TWEET OR WRITE ON AN INSTAGRAM CAPTION. I just sit there staring at my screen wondering what fried pretzel made such a strict time schedule for their self but neglected to COME UP WITH CONTENT.
It’s a mess around here. An adorable mess, though, because I am pretty adorable.
4. I NEVER WEIGH IN ON IMPORTANT TOPICS.
Twitter is always exploding with dramas. Sometimes they’re actually needful ones that raise awareness or tackle an important issue! 98% of the time I have Very Strong Opinions. Do I blog about them? NO. Do I even tweet about then??? NOOOOO. I DO NOTHING.
This is 50% because someone else has already very articulately said what I think anyway so shoo, go read their blog post instead and leave me alone to eat a cupcake like a child. And it’s 50% because do you expect me to say something serious and poignant???? That’s not on my resume. Like I’d check and see if it’s in the fineprint, but THEN I’D HAVE TO LEAVE MY PILLOW FORT AND THAT’S NOT HAPPENING.
I’m too young and full of nonsense for all this.
5. I PLAGIARISE MYSELF CONSTANTLY.
When you’ve been blogging for 5 years…
YOU GO A LITTLE INSANE you start to realise you’ve talked about just about every aspect of a book. * And sometimes you sit down to type up a post and you blink and say, “Well, I got nothing.”
Or, if you are me ** you end up writing a BRILLIANT and INSPIRED post and then randomly search your own blog because something about it felt familiar…only to realise you’d already written about this. THEN YOU CRY TO CHOCOLATE, BECAUSE CHOCOLATE UNDERSTANDS. And then you post it anyway. And see if anyone notices mwahahaha.
But seriously, I should take legal action against myself. I’m terrible.
* Not strictly true. I have yet to discuss DECKLED EDGES ON PAGES! Which is obviously a crucial topic and I’m neglecting the Deckled Edges fandom by not speaking on it. Sorry.
** Ugh. I hope not. One of me is quite enough irritation for this galaxy.
6. I HAVE 0% CARE OF RUDE INTERNET PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY ARE TURNIPS.
Last year I was crying over troll comments on Goodreads. This year I just revert to 19th century speak because it’s very satisfying when you’re mad. Life is too short to cry over what nameless internet turnip-heads think. Life is too short for turnips in general. Like seriously WHAT IS THE POINT OF A TURNIP?? (I digress, I’m sorry.)
7. I’M NERVOUS OF OTHER BLOGGERS WITH BIG FOLLOWINGS.
“Well, um, Cait,” you say awkwardly, “I don’t know if you’ve realised, but you have quite a large following yourself??????”
YES THAT HAPPENED. But I still feel like a tiny small blogging creature who freaks out happily over any and every comment. Because someone likes my blog??? Ahhh!!! AHH!!! AHH!!! (It’s continually a surprise, honestly.)
When I see someone when many many followers, I always think “Ooh, I shouldn’t bother them. They’re so AWESOME.” Which is rubbish. I mean, I don’t feel that way. I want people to shout with me over turnips and books and utilising glitter as weaponry destruction. I want to be friends with you. I should real really stop being scared of other people and utilise my 9-step-colour-coded-plan-of-friendship to more internet people. It has a 5% success rate. Nice.
8. I’VE BLOCKED OTHER INTERNET CREATURES.
You thought I was a super nice person, didn’t you? HAHHAHAH. #NO.
Actually yes, I am nice. I pretend to be fearsome because I have a Slytherin image to uphold. But I actually don’t like blocking people. (IF THEY’RE EVEN “PEOPLE”??? They could be robots??? Or squids??) But if you’re spammy: you’re getting blocked. And I can’t even COUNT how many instagram users I’ve had to block for stealing photos. It’s not niiiiice. But I know where the block button is and I’LL USE IT ON YOU, I SAY, GOOD SIR.
9. I DON’T FORCE MYSELF TO ACHIEVE 1901%
Again, last year I WAS ON FIRE! And this year…I am on LESS FIRE? Which is okay. My blog is still growing, my stats are pleasant, you commenters make my day freakishly better every. single. time, and I love looking at my blog design. * Who refreshes Paper Fury to watch the arrow shoot across the screen still?!!! OH OH JUST ME? Oh. Okay then.
But this year I reminded myself that (A) writing needs to be a priority over blogging because HOPEFUL CAREER THERE; and (B) my blog will not perish if I don’t post everyday; and (C) keep it FUN around here, Cait! That’s the key to sticking to blogging for years and years and years. **
After trying to do EVERYTHING last year, I’m not a recovering overachiever. But I’m going to be the BEST and FASTEST and most SUCCESSFUL recovering overachiever ever. ***
* WHICH I DID NOT PERSONALLY DESIGN BY THE WAY. So I can compliment it and not be insufferably conceited. But if you think I have that much coding talent hahhahahhaha. Bless you, naive bean. I can barely type straight.
** OH STOP MOANING. PRETEND YOU’RE GLAD I’M HERE FOREVER.
10. I CAN’T SHUT UP APPARENTLY.
Well this obviously needs to be said and I don’t think it’s a secret. Look how long my posts are these days. They are mammoth beasts of footnotes, random word trails that lead to cake, and completely IRRELEVANT discussions on turnips or how shiny my crown should be. * I just CAN’T STOP. And I feel mildly guilty for how long my posts are, but pfft. Life is too short not to blog happily and that is my goal here.
And also I JUST HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!! It’s not my fault!!! My brain is so interesting!!!! **