Bookworms are generally peculiar little beasts.
Adorably peculiar, I might add. Which is the best kind of peculiar. We are fantastic little creatures that love books and darkness and warm hobbit holes and crumpets and WiFi and howling fervently over characters who don’t exist. * DOES THIS NOT EARN US THE “PECULIAR” TITLE, HMMM??
Now I’m sure ALL bookworms have our peculiar habits too. So why not list them down and (A) we can mutually nod and agree on odd things we do, and (B) you can also learn more about meeeeee. And I know you’re 100% keen on that because I am your favourite. **
* I fully admit that there are bookworms out there who are nice and friendly and enjoy sunshine and the outdoors and probably lettuce or something equally bizarre. And we should acknowledge they’re brilliant too. But obviously the darkness-hobbit-hiding-crumpet-consuming bookworms are better BECAUSE I AM ONE and I am of the best. Obviously.
** If this is not true, SHHHHH DON’T BREAK MY HEART OMG. Let me live in my delusions.
Today’s Top Ten Tuesday prompt is “Ten Facts About Me“ and I’m doing a confession-y twist on it because I only recently did a #WritersConfessions post and I thought these two would look pretty together. Plus who doesn’t like confessing all the things??? I know your evil little minds want to know.
- I REVIEW BOOKS 2 SECONDS AFTER FINISHING THEM.
Which means I rush into reviews full of feels and flailing emotions and either (A) fangirl magnanimously or (B) rant rigorously. It’s quite fun. It’s also full of peril. It ends with me howling about giraffe youtube videos (this happened) or comparing characters to various desserts or writing bullet-point lists of why I’m marrying the cover at dawn. But I genuinely must write my reviews this fast or I just forget everything. My brain is the cousin of Swiss Cheese.
- NAMES? WHAT NAMES? I REMEMBER NO NAMES.
Despite confessing to having name-crushes and having lists of favourite-names — I HAVE NO MEMORY FOR NAMES AT ALL. Especially books written in 1st person. Like what even is your name, person??? I finish a book. I stare at the book. I stare at my dribbling attempts to write a review. I think “Perhaps his name was Frank.” I spend a lot of time crying piteously.
- I HAVE A SPREADSHEET TO CALCULATE MY READING.
Yes I’m on Goodreads too. GOODREADS AND A SPREADSHEET. I MEAN A LITTLE OVER THE TOP, MAYBE, CAIT???? (Never.) I am on a strict schedule to read 20 books per month (believe it or not, this is to stop me overchieving with my reading) and I calculate things like publisher, release date, country, diversity, source, and character names. Remember my last point about forgetting all the character names always? YEAH. So this one goes down like a poodle in a sea of avocado. BUT I WANT TO ANALYSE WHICH NAMES ARE OVER-USED IN YA. So heck yes I’ll take 365 days to do so. My
obsessiondedication knows no bounds.
- GOODREADS IS MY OTP.
I also review everything on Goodreads and like 15% of things on my blog. I basically only review ARCs on my blog. So all library books and bought-books just kersplat on Goodreads. ERGO YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME THERE BY THE BY. Goodreads is like my darling, my BFF, my calculating little JARVIS partner, my OTP. Okay so it’s mildly obvious that I REALLY LIKE GOODREADS. NOW FOR SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT THIS:
- My GR reviews are largely unedited.
- Meaning, dude, I just fangirl and ramble and typo like the Typo Queen I am.
- I have a challenge question for GR friends to ask how they found me.
- The answer I keep receiving is “BECAUSE YOU’RE EVERYWHERE CAIT.”
- Which means World Domination Plan A is working brilliantly. (Mwahahahhah ha ha hah.)
- I get a surprising amount of friend-requests from people who have logged 3 books and have 3,000 friends. I mean, WHYYYYYYYY. (They get denied, surprise surprise.)
- I update goodreads religiously.
- I’M #1 REVIEWER IN AUSTRALIA BTW.
- Making reading-status-updates are basically my favourite thing of ever.
- I REFUSE TO SAY CHARACTER NAMES CORRECTLY.
NOT ALWAYS! I’m not an disagreeable grape all the time. It’s just…LOOK SOME NAMES JUST DO NOT LOOK HOW THEY SOUND. For instance: Sean Kendrick from The Scoprio Races. (This book is my life by the way and it actually physically HURTS MY SOUL how much I love it.) I say “Seen”. I know it’s “Shawn”. BUT I CAN’T STOP SAYING SEEN. While reading Deathless, the main character is the Russian name “Koschei”. I’m trying to break the habit of “Ko-check” which to be honest I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW I GOT THAT. It’s “Ko-shay”. Let’s just accept the fact that (A) I can’t read and (B) my brain rejects logic on occasion.
- I HATE PREDICTING PLOTS.
Okay I confess: IT MAKES ME FEEL SMART SOMETIMES. But ultimately??? It annoys me copiously because I came here for a good time, fiends. I didn’t come here to work out the killer on page-5 or to pick out which characters would die by chapter 3. And worse — I actually accurately predict books a lot. This is probably because (A) I’m a writer, so I’m always like “So who would I maim here” and whoops, there you are and there they go, and (B) I read a lot. A LOT. And after a while you just start to know. So books surprise me about 4% of the time and it’s tragic. Hold me while I cry, Bob.
- I PROCRASTINATE GOOD BOOKS.
I wrote a whole post on the bizarreness of this. But it comes down to the fact that (A) I am a Vulcan and do not like to feel all the things BECAUSE IT’S EXHAUSTING, ergo, I avoid books I know will be feelsy (even thogh I still do freaking love them….omg it makes no sense) and (B) I’m a wimp and always go for small books. If it’s 400+ pages — HELLO MY NAME IS PROCRASTINATION.
- FLUFFY BOOKS ARE MY NEMISES.
I need dragons. AND STABBING. And a little bit of maiming, okay??! I can’t stand this happy fluff with these ice cream dates and these proms and these hair catastrophes. I NEED COOKIES FROM THE DARK SIDE AND A BIT OF MURDER, JOHN. My favourite books = dark tragedy.
- I’M ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH #BOOKSTAGRAM.
That is to say, if I see a photo of a pretty book — I JUST HAVE TO ADORE IT. And it also means that I buy books specifically for their cover. And if I really loved a book and know I’ll blog about it a lot? I must buy it strictly for bookish photos. Also I JUST HIT 10,000 FOLLOWERS so join me. I’m amazing. Not to mention the other slightly peculiar #bookstagram related things I do, like:
- I scamper about the house stealing things for props.
- My parental has some gorgeous peacock feathers in her room.
- DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. I WOULDN’T STEAL THEM.
- Um, yes, I did buy a camera specifically for this
- Did I just acquire Penguin Postcards specifically for #bookstagram?
- Phrases I frequently shout: “IT’S AESTHETIC” and “IT’S FOR BOOKSTAGRAM YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.”
- Getting 1,000+ likes on a photo is the best thing of my ever. I might shriek.
- Packing up the photoshoot MESS is a race between me and my dog, who coincidentally likes to eat props.
- Conversations like so happen:
- Parental: “I have literally no photos of you.”
- Me: “BUT YOU CAN HAVE PHOTOS OF MY BOOKS SO ISN’T THAT FUN?”
- I CAN’T “DNF” BOOKS.
“DNF” doesn’t stand for “Delicious Nefarious Frosting” like it really ought to, but rather for “Did Not Finish”. And I finish everything I read. Unfortunately. This means I blaze through books that are worse than my toast making abilities (which is pretty bad) and I spend a lot of time writing crab-apple reviews (which I actually guilty enjoy writing, and oh oops, my evil overlord is showing) and I do get VERY FRUSTRATED READING SOMETIMES. But if I DNF I end up thinking about the book way too much. And part of me always hope the ending will be better??? Like sure the first 300-pages are worse than the idea of eating parsley pureed grasshopper legs, but WHAT IF THE ENDING INVOLVES DRAGONS AND TORTURE AND THE GOOD STUFF???? I must find out. I don’t like unfinished business.