Like the average bookworm, I haven’t slept since 1664.
This is because there are SO many books to read and also the entire life of a bookworm (and book blogger) is just freaking exhausting and even if you do run into a brick wall to knock yourself unconscious for a few snatched minutes of sleep — the fact is you’ll just return to the exhausting routine that is: THE BOOK LIFE™.
Nobody can leave. Don’t even entertain that hope.
Now just in case you’re reading this and sipping coffee or feeling weirdly chipper (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU) I’m going to handily explain why the bookworm life is so exhausting.
And you’ll finish reading this post with one of the following thoughts:
- “Wow this is so right the bookworm life is super exhausting.”
- “I wasn’t actually tired until I read this post but now I am thanks for that Cait.”
- “What happened in 1664 that actually DID let you have a sleep?? Was it a boring year????”
- “Cait why tho.”
- ↑↑↑↑↑ All of the above.
Best of luck now.
1. THERE ARE ALWAYS 501 BOOKS YOU HAVEN’T READ YET BUT YOU SHOULD’VE BY NOW.
I read an unreasonable amount of books per year and I’m still behind. It’s absolutely outrageous. I seem to read 1 book and then add 5 more on Goodreads and so you can imagine how this is going to work out for me. Immortality? Yes. I need it.
It’s exhausting just THINKING about all the books we haven’t read yet. And it’s also exhausting trying to read them. I mean, can you honestly tell me you’ve not sacrificed sleep at some point in your life to read more?? Hmm??
I think not.
“Read good books!” they say. “It’ll be fun!” they say.
Well it is freaking exhausting.
Sometimes I actually LIKE reading a lowkey 3-star book that I’m going to feel “meh” about in the end because, at least I can catch an emotional rest?!? I’ve had times where I’ve read a couple of 5-stars in a row and HOLY HECK. THAT’S SO TIRING. You’re like having your emotions thrashed by a novel and living a whole life in a few hours and afterwards people expect you just to go on??? No my TRUE LOVE just died and I JUST BECAME QUEEN and magical powers jUST BURST FROM THE SKY. Give me a break.
I can’t even process all of this.
There are two things that make me feel like a little wizened old grandmother, even though I’m only 23, and they are: (1) being really excited to receive the gift of nice socks, and (2) opening a book and being stabbed in the eye with a toothpick because it’s written in microscopic print.
Just WAIT while I bust out my microscope to read it, thanks, friend. It’s not like I’m trying to preserve my delicate eyeballs as is.
Reading tiny tiny tiny font for a while makes me tired WAY faster than regular sized font.
I’m pretty sure that’s why they put the ingredients on cereal packets in such small font. It’s not to save like printing space, it’s totally so you don’t realise you’re eating tasty flavoured cardboard souls because you’re too tired to read it.
Most people don’t realise this, but bloggers are actually octopi. Cute octopi, though. We have long swirly tentacles so we can multitask things like blogging, twitter, instagram, goodreads, and slaying enemies at the great feast of King Neptune. Fear us.
Because I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW WE BLOGGERS MANAGE TO DO ALL THE THINGS WE DO. At first you think blogging is just hacking up a few words and splattering them on a post. But like VISUALS! Graphics! Links! The time it takes to think up something intelligent to write! * Social media! Promotion! Reading the books! Photography! Answering comments! Putting the souls of the damned in cute clay jars! Networking! Reviews! It’s a lot of work and it takes a lot of time and basically bloggers never sleep.
* LOL AND BURN @ ME because this is surely not happening here.
Look, to prove my point, here is a smol list of expectations we suffer through:
- People expecting reviews on time.
- Expecting reviews to make sense (THAT CROSSES THE LINE)
- Expecting books to be read
- TBR wanting to strangle us in our sleep for those books not read
- Expectations on how / what we read and blog about
- Our audiences expecting us to produce better and better content
- Expectations that our chocolate supply will grow magically not diminish, but this is not happening
- Expectations of wanting to be the best but also THAT’S A LOT OF WORK
- Expectations to read more, or less, or both simultaneously upside down.
- Expectations to be upside down.
- Expectations to be Eleven.
- Expectations to be in Stranger Things because let’s face it…you’re on the right path.
This is, quite frankly, exhausting.
I like to harbour this secret idea that people are very intelligent, complex, and interesting creatures. And then I go on Goodreads for 5 minutes and LOL @ MY UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.
HOW I SPEND MY TIME ON THE INTERNET:
- 10% posting bad quality content that is hilarious to me at least
- 20% writing reviews and blog posts and etc.
- 50% laughing at a gif that’s probably only funny because it’s MIDNIGHT AND YOU’RE OVERTIRED
- 90000007% telling people to S T O P being unnecessarily horrible
Hey but it’s really tiring. I get to the point where I see ANOTHER person on goodreads go off at me for having an opinion (whereas their opinion is better???) or being sexist or homophobic or racist or ableist just GROSS IN ANY WAY and I’m tired of themmmm.
IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO BE NICE. Did your guardian wizard parent not teach you to share your crayons? Dammit, Jim, get a grip.
7. TRYING TO FIT THINGS INTO PLACES THEY DON’T FIT BUT THEY SHOULD SO YOU GOTTA.
This is exhausting and it’s a very unrepresented part of the bookworm life. I think we should all take a moment to appreciate how many things DO NOT FIT WHERE THEY SHOULD but yet we bookworms, writers, readers, and bloggers…we make them fit.
- Fitting book box sets back into tHE FREAKING BOX.
- Fitting 87 books on a shelf made for 12 books.
- Fitting 7 years worth of reading into 30 minutes before bed.
- Fitting 17 books in your bag even if you’re only leaving the house for 2 hours but you might. run. out.
- Fitting book buying into your budget without living off tuna for the rest of your born days.
- Fitting enough snacks in your pockets for when you take your books into the dark witch’s wood to get some reading time done.
- Fitting all the book knowledge IN YOUR HEAD.
- Fitting enough cake in your mouth.
- Fitting all your books in your house without having to kick your family out. *
* But like…go for it. If it helps?
8. READING HORRIBLE HORRIBLE BOOK TROPES AGAIN AND AGAIN.
Nothing makes me want to nap faster than suffering through a trope that’s DEAD. IT’S SO DEAD, IT’S JUST THE ACTUAL MOST DEAD THING IN EXISTENCE. I don’t want you coming @ me with excuses that it might only be “mostly dead”. There are some harmful and hateful tropes I think should be all dead.
And I’m not saying things like love-triangles or chosen ones. Pfft. They CAN be done well. I’m talking about problematic tropes, like white saviours and love-cures-mental-illness and killing-off-all-the-minorities.
WE’RE ALL TOO TIRED. STOP.
9. ABSOLUTELY HUGE BOOKS.
People lie a lot about what it’s like to be an adult. They say stuff like: “You won’t have acne and your attention span will mature and you’ll make good decisions!” All of this is lies. But PARTICULARLY the attention span. 12-year-old me read longer books than 23-year-old me does.
Me, now, would prefer if books didn’t get over 400 pages, thanks.
I’m too young and tired for these 600 PAGES BEASTS.* I can actually feel my eyeballs drooping. Or my eyelids. I don’t even know by this point. I need a nap.
* Unless they are by Schwab or Clare and then uGH I’M YOURS.
10. HAVING TO PLAY “CATCH UP” WITH THE BOOK COMMUNITY IF YOU LOSE ATTENTION FOR 4 SECONDS.
Now unless you are an omnipresent eyeball, you need to take breaks from the book community now and then. Sometimes we go completely offline, right!? Which is great. Cool. Fine…
EXCEPT PLAYING CATCH UP IS A FREAKING NIGHTMARE.
Everything moves so fast around here?! I take Thursdays off posting on twitter, but I swear we have about 3 moon cycles, 5 dramas, 17 announcements, and 2 blood sacrifices in that time. And when I get back, holy kelp, what’s going on. This is basically the reason I rarely take hiatuses because I like to know everything. I’m sure that’s healthy.
I’m sure it’s also very exhausting. I just need to leave for Antartica and curl up with 3 polar bears, two warm blankets, and a penguin for a very very long immortal sleep. But can you freaking IMAGINE trying to catch up after that? It’s a tragedy in the making.