I kept staring at the title of my post thinking, “Is that too creepy???” But eh I’m going with it.
Gets us all ready for today’s glorious LIST of creeptastic things. I assume this is in the spirit of Halloween which I would like to mention I don’t celebrate. Now that fact might be slightly odd considering I do like paranormal things and woods that eat people and shadows that slither out at night and grab your ankles. BUT! I am Australian. Halloween is a very Northern Hemisphere thing. Like it’s not even autumn for us. How can you celebrate harvest when we are gearing up for allergies and spring?!?
IT IS NONSENSE.
However. I still want to
be creepy write a creepy post. So here I am. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I thought I’d creepily throw at you:
CREEPY THINGS I LOVE TO READ VS ONES I HATE
I mean you can “love” some creepy stuff, right??? That’s not weird??? It’s not like I have skeletons in my closet or am a part-time necromancer. (I’m a full time necromancer thank you very much.) Everything is fine, nothing to see here.
I also feel like it’s worth noting I don’t really read horror! I have watched Supernatural though and when I started some episodes really terrified me. Then I got old and “eh” about the horror parts. But I really haven’t read any traditional horror! Unless Coraline counts?!
Top Ten Tuesday || Halloween/Creepy Freebie
1. SINISTER FAERIES CREEPING OUT OF THE WOODWORK
Let’s take a moment to doubly confirm: FAERIES ARE SUPER CREEPY. They’re so ethereal and deadly gorgeous and enjoy playing with people and then ripping them up, either emotionally or physically. Like, options here! If a book does faeries right, then they should be equal parts disturbing and entrancing. I AM ENTRANCED. I LOVE IT. Bring me the immortal creepy gorgeous queens and hobgoblins and kings of the dead. Briiiiing it.
2. SUPER CREEPY CHILDREN
Ok but kids in general are creepy. Sometimes they just stare at you or you give them scissors and glitter to do craft and think: “Yes, this is how I die.”
But I do have a total softness for the super creepy kids who turn up in books. Minya from Strange the Dreamer is a recent favourite since she’s stuck-as-a-child and catches ghosts souls and wILL MURDER YOU AAAAALL for wronging her. But yes, I will read about the disturbing children you are dead or eat your face or stare at you with big round eyes and start singing a freaky song.
3. CREEPY DARK FORESTS
YESSSS I LOVE THESE!! There is nothing quite like “THOSE” woods where people go in and don’t come out. And things claw out of the earth. And the witches make snacks. This is 10000% of the reason I will never leave the house also. So thanks, forests! You can keep the fresh air! I will keep alive, inside!
Aww bUT THEY’RE KIND OF CUTE!! I’ll just throw myself into the arms of Timekeeper and my ghosts in the clocktowers and also at The Raven Cycle with the softest ghosts who, yes, do the most creepy things on occasion. But who are ultimately soft. I love ghosts. I maintain there aren’t enough ghost stories?! I WANT MORE SOFT SWEET GHOSTS. (This sounds like an ice cream order, but fine.)
5. ALL-POWERFUL DARK FORCE OUT TO GETCHA
Especially the ones that don’t have bodies yet, because: that stuff is CREEPY AS HECK. I’m particularly thinking of Osaron in A Conjuring Of Light and his whole “I NEED A BODY AND THEN I’M MAKING THE WORLD RIP ITSELF APART.” Steady on there, mate. I need popcorn before you begin.
No but really, I also find this terrifying…like you can’t look away from it?! They seem so all-powerful and impossible defeat it’s terrifying.
1. APOCALYPTIC DISEASES AND SICKNESS
I CAN’T DO IT. PLEASE TAKE IT AWAY. This just lights up my anxiety like the kind of Christmas Tree that explodes in your face. I watched this movie about the world dying from a fast-spreading disease and I DIDN’T SLEEP AGAIN. Ever. Ughgghghg. I can’t do it. It’s so out of control. (And cOULD HAPPEN?????)
2. HUGE AGE-GAPS IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well isn’t this one not like the others.
But seriously, this is creepy. Don’t pretend it’s not. Especially if they’re teens. There’s not a huge developmental or life difference between being 30 and 35. But there IS between being 15 and 20 (not to mention illegal?!?!?) so please take these books away from me where one part is 10000 years old and the other is sixteen.
I also watched Call Me By Your Name and am still asking how that is not predatory. RIGHTO.
3. SOMETHING IS IN THE WALLS / UNDER THE BED
jUST pLeASe DON’T. Omg. This freaks me out. I am definitely the person who doesn’t hang their limb over the edge of the bed!! Forget that my bed is on the floor. Evil doesn’t have to have dimension ok, it can still get me.
And things in the walls??? I don’t like it. I want out. Do not rattle things around in the basement or attic or walls or floorboards unless you want me screaming for 24 hours at the book.
This is also because I loathe even the IDEA of asylums and how despicable all the 1800s ones were. Also because it’s ridiculous. Any book that features an asylum IS GOING TO BE HAUNTED. And yet we have a gaggle of people going, “Yeah! Let’s put a school in an old asylum!”
I get it. You want the kids to get eaten. Stop acting surprised when everyone’s clawing out their eyes.
5. FALLING INTO GOOP
I JUST…NOT WITH THE TOUCHING THINGS. Like when they stick their hand in the residue of the monster?! Or start sinking in like this gross globby mire that sucks them down??? I throw up. (It’s worth noting I am very sensory sensitive so anything sensory offence is going to crawl up my skin and kILL ME if I’m reading.)
Just get it offfffff.