Well. That went badly.
Thank you Hatchette Children’s Books on NetGalley for the e-ARC! Don’t Even Think About It hits shelves on May 1st, 2014.
This is the story of how we became freaks. It’s how a group of I’s became a we.
When Class 10B got their flu shots, they expected some side effects. Maybe a sore arm. Maybe a headache. They definitely didn’t expect to get telepathy. But suddenly they could hear what everyone was thinking. Their friends. Their teachers. Their parents. Now they all know that Tess has a crush on her best friend, Teddy. That Mackenzie cheated on Cooper. That Nurse Carmichael used to be a stripper. Some of them will thrive. Some of them will break. None of them will ever be the same.
A smart and funny story about friendship, first love and surviving high school from the bestselling author of Ten Things We Shouldn’t Have Done.
Sarah Mlynowski is the author of BRAS & BROOMSTICKS, FROGS & FRENCH KISSES, SPELLS & SLEEPING BAGS and PARTIES & POTIONS—all in the YA ‘Magic in Manhattan’ series. Along with Lauren Myracle and E. Lockhart, she also wrote HOW TO BE BAD.
Sarah’s five novels for adults, MILKRUN, FISHBOWL, AS SEEN ON TV, MONKEY BUSINESS and ME VS. ME, were published by Red Dress Ink. She also co-wrote a guide to writing chick lit (SEE JANE WRITE), co-edited two bestselling charity collections, and contributed to various anthologies.
Sarah’s books have been translated into twenty-one languages. Originally from Montreal, she now lives and writes in New York City.
You know how you can feel “meh” about a 2-star book…or you can feel book-throwing furious? I’m kind of furious, peoples. But I’m going to write an intelligent review, I promise. Minimal ranting. Minimal angry GIFs. I’ll be logical and precise about why I really didn’t like this book. Pinky promise.
OH MY GOSH IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING.
I tried to be logical, okay?
I felt like the entire book was designed to be a Life Lesson. “How you think about people defines who you are as a person, blah blah.” Preach me a sermon, why don’t you? I don’t like to be preached at when I read. It makes me frustrated and angry. Maybe the sermon is a nice little life lesson we should all learn…buuuut, there’s this thing called subtlety.
I couldn’t connect with the characters at all! Why? There were fifty-two billion points of view to keep up with. Like the blurb says, the book is narrated by “we”. Yup. Don’t ask. Just accept that you can be in ANYONE’S head at any given time. I…I couldn’t handle that, okay? I was so, so confused.
The characters didn’t have deep personalities. They had defining “factors”. Olivia was shy and awkward. Cooper was a good big brother. McKenzie was a cheater. Pi was a smartie. But that was it! No one had any other levels…I’m just…Can I headdesk now or later? I read for characters, so this alone made the story dive for me.
So discussion! If you got struck with telepathy…what would you do with it? These fine intelligent teenagers decided to use their telepathic abilities to…DRUMROLL…hook everyone up! Yup. Now we know who a) cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend, b) attempt to hook up with your BFF, c) find out your parents are having affairs, aaaand d) cheat in your schoolwork! Guys. Seriously? The entire book made teenagers on the whole seem like fluffy dumb self-centred brats.
The entire book is a piece of giggly fluff. If that’s what you like to read, then go for it! But I can’t stand unintelligent characters, and I felt like this book was busting with them (parents and teens alike).
Cait has a very low tolerance for stupid people. She doesn’t hate them. She just doesn’t understand why they exist. Obviously, if everyone spent a bit of time with Mary Poppins they wouldn’t have a chance to be unintelligent. She’d probably whack them with her umbrella. Currently, Cait is writing a new book and eating. As she does.