Now I’ll be honest with you: I really like emojis.
I appreciate how they convey your tone very clearly, which is handy when one is (a) tones can be miscommunicated so easily in writing on the internet, wow let’s set everything on fire and be offended now, and (b) if you’re really not good at figuring out FEELINGS * of other people, they help so much. Plus a picture is worth a thousand words and all that. The Egyptians and their hieroglyphics would be so proud of us today. **
So today I’m going to combine BOOKS + EMOJIS which is also a tag I directly stole off instagram, but you know what? I’m a good thief. I’ll also add to it because I’m also very bad at following rules. We all have our strengths, OK? My strengths are cake and breaking rules and losing vaguely important objects like my wallet, socks, and mind.
OH! But before we dive in, I figure I better just quickly clarify a few emojis and their meanings for you. Because sometimes we have different interpretations. I’m sure mine are fine! And not wrong at all!
* UGh feelings are an unfortunate disease.
** I’m lying. I think they’d sacrifice us all to the Nile.
Alright! Now that we’ve got all THAT established, I invite you to do two things:
(1) Notice that I use the laugh / cry emoji (see: 😂) all the freaking time
(2) let’s dive into the emoji book tag where the faces might mean SLIGHTLY different to what I just said but if this post made too much sense then you’d know I didn’t write it.
I’m not much of a romantic but I do adore a good adorable romance that is 2 parts SASS AND BANTER and 1 part TRAGEDY AND TEARS.
I’m going to nominate Autoboyography because IT’S SO FREAKING ADORABLE and also they’re writers. And if there’s nothing more relatable it’s reading about a boy who says: “Oh yeah! The book is going well!” while he has not worked on it at all. Same.
And THE SCORPIO RACES is full of man-eating horses and apple cakes and these two cuties barely even held hands and kept nearly dying. Bless them.
It’s basically like every book is perfect and ALSO better than the last and by the end you’re jsut dead and exhausted from all the appreciation.
HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I LOVE STIEFVATER NOVELS? BECAUSE ALL OF THEM.
I wasn’t even worried about whether I’d love Turtles All The Way Down because I already adore John Green. But I mean…the actual full response is —> “WOW. I’ve not read anxiety articulated so so well before.”
I even had a tearful emotion.
how dare u, book.
Anybody can look at you. It’s quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you do.
OK so full disclaimer: I’ve never actually physically cried reading before. I have appropriately gotten moisture behind my eyes which could be, like, an allergy. Or hayfever. Or my human skin disintegrating after many thousands of years of use.
I honestly lost my MIND laughing at The Lies of Locke Lamora. This is an adult fantasy, but seriously…if I could only pick like a top 5 books — IT WOULD BE IN THERE. It’s extremely dark and they swear all the time and they go off on their murdering escapades and come back to make a delicious dinner.
What is not to love.
Also The Art of Feeling is HYSTERICAL. I mean Eliot, the love interest, literally googled how to be friends. (Relatable.) And Sam gets complimented by being told…she’s a lovely piece of bread. (Relatable yet again.)
(It’s also about disabilities and mental health and it’s FIVE STARS.)
“That is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen,” says Eliot. “When did you take it out of the dryer?”
“It’s my dog,” I grumble.
I’m trying to pretend The Empress doesn’t exist to be honest. It’s the sequel to The Diabolic which was SO STABBY AND GOOD and The Empress just belly-flopped off the highest diving board ever.
I just reviewed Renegades yesterday SO YOU KNOW I’M IN A PUDDLE OF MALCONTENT. The last time I was that bored I ended up eating Vegemite on an orange and probably damaged myself for years to come so.
Every time the Illuminae authors get together and even like breathe or blink, something horrible happens in their book and I need to scream. I end up screaming a lot. THE PLOT TWISTS IN GEMINA WERE BEYOND UNFAIR TO MY DELICATE SELF.
These books are actually terrifically dark. I only just read the sequel, Now I Rise, and like…both Radu and Lada are little blood-covered hellions in this one. I rather love them. I’m sure my affection is fine.
ACTUAL SUMMARY OF LADA:
MAN: I have a son.
MAN: He is quite powerful and could use…you know…a wife!
LADA: the heck do you think I’m going to find a wife for your son????
LADA: *GETS OUT 76 KNIVES*
So the thing about They Both Die At The End is…you want to know DO THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END. And I refuse to say. Hence I can’t even really talk about this book??? Anything can be taken as a spoiler. I’m just going to sit on top of my bookshelf and brood mightily.
- “Aggressive alpha male” types. I would literally rather stab myself in the eye with a spork than read about them.
- “Pls Save Me I’m Weak” girls. Because it’s unrealistic sheesh and really degrading when a girl’s only point in a book is to be saved or make the guy look good.
- “I’ve Had A Rough Time So I Can Be Awful” types. Because this is WRONG. There is no excuse for being awful or a bully or cruel or abusive. Everrrrr. Um hang on a sec, can you hold my tea? I need to go hit Snape with my umbrella.
Hahah haha HAHAHAHA. So many.
- PS I Still Love You and Always And Forever Lara Jean
- Wolf By Wolf
- Red Queen
- Flame in The Mist
- Tales From The Shadowhunter Academy
- Daughter Of The Pirate King
- The Rose And the Dagger
- SORRY I HAVE TO GO NOW AND SIT IN A DARK CORNER OF SHAME
- Turtles All the Way Down — SURPRISE
- Half Bad — this was a reread so does it even count? I don’t know. Let me have a smol crisis
- Autoboyography — this is too pure, too perfect
- Language Of Thorns — Woooow this was like the most EPIC and dark and feminist fairy tale collection ever and I freaking adored every page.
- All the Crooked Saints — I honestly feel like someday I will say something surprising but…this is a Maggie Stiefvater book. No one is surprised.
This emoji represents my money flying away…although that is a lie because my money doesn’t really EXIST to fly away but whatever. I won’t crust the emoji’s creativity.
MY CURRENT WISHLIST:
Ah the bookworm life is great! And we’re also always broke! I’d shout at authors and publishers to jUST WAIT UP A SECOND so we can catch up, but have you seen the 2018 releases!??? I’m in love already.
alright tell me your top 3 emojis?!? (or are you a non-emoji-user?) and are there some types of characters you’re super allergic to??? oh and wHAT WAS YOUR LIST 5-STAR READ?