Being a bookworm is hard enough, but just try being an indecisive bookworm on top of the usual agonies.
Then you will know true pain and true suffering.
Bookworms face a sheer ton of struggles as we all know, because I blog about it all the time in hope that someone will take pity on me and buy me small blue cakes (still waiting). But do you realise just how many decisions we’re forced to make ALL THE TIME as well?!? So much. So many. Here I’m just going to hit you with a cutely concise list to illustrate the horrors.
- you have to pick which books to buy
- or borrow from a library
- or request from publishers
- SO MUCH CHOOSING
- if you buy a book: what edition???
- ebook vs audiobook vs paperback vs hardcover?
- don’t even get started on the different covers
- now we’re forced to pick a book to read first out of … dozens
- then you have to decide what your feelings are about the book
- which character do you like
- are you reviewing this
- whAT STAR RATING DO YOU GIVE IT
- where does it fit in your overcrowded bookshelf
- do you recommend this one or keep it tucked to your smol heart because it’s special?
- do you reread it
- do you eat it
- do you let it take over your heart and soul and house
Now if you’re an indecisive monster on top of all of this…ha. HA. *sobsob*
I can choose things for other people SO easily. But myself? No. This is why when I’m editing my book, sometimes I just end up changing “and” and “but” a dozen times and then asking why we need commas, where do they go, do they go here, and then giving up and leaving all the commas at the end of my book and just composing a 50-page apology to my editors. *
Choosing which book to read first is, arguably, one of the toughest parts. Because what if you pick a horrible one? What if you pick one you should’ve read later? Or earlier? What if you pick one that you’re not in the mood for? What if you pick one and then another starts crying? WHAT IF THE SKY FALLS.
But because I’m helpful ** I’m going to write a list of ways to help you choose your next read! This is foolproof because no one’s read this post yet and said: “Cait…no.” Hence my upcoming methods WILL solve all your problems! Exciting!
* I have NOT done this yet…but I probably should. Shout out @ me to the time I spent a whole manuscript saying “backflash” instead of “flashback” because who knows which order to put words in! Not me apparently!
** And delusional apparently.
And you thought I wouldn’t give helpful suggestions! HA! SILLY YOU! (You were right.)
PROS: You probably don’t have to move super far, which is nice if you just sat down and don’t want to get back up! Also you won’t be digging books out from under other books therefore limiting the risk of dying young. #Amazing
CONS: If you only, say, pick books on the top of your TBR because they’re closet, you will literally NEVER READ THE OLDER ONES. They will probably attack you in your sleep. And you will die. Unfortunate. Also this sucks if you’re in a mood reader. Or if you have a kindle, because technically the next book on your kindle will always be geographically closest. So you’re doomed.
WHAT a a wild and pretty accusation! I have never never been accused of that myself, except this one time I read a book 6 months early because I read dates backwards. What can I say. I am talent.
PROS: I mean, hello, ORGANISED. Also publishers probably will love you when you get those ARC reviews out on exactly the right date. Also limits feeling hopelessly overwhelmed by ARCs! And this works for library books with due-back dates too. All these prompt dates with books! And you thought you had no dating life, pfffft.
CONS: If you don’t FEEL like the book right now, well that sucks. Also you get trapped in this vortex of only ever reading review-books and never books you buy. sO what is the meaning of this life. Also you join the over-enthused flood of the entire blogosphere reading the ONE BOOK and talking about THE ONE BOOK and eventually we start wanting to strangle each other with rainbow string.
METHOD #3: MAKE A TBR JAR WHICH IS SO FAIR AND EQUAL TO ALL BOOKS AND LET’S FACE IT, THE JAR IS CUTE.
I’m like a casual arty person, which means I love the aesthetics of things like pretty TBR jars with books written in pretty font. But do I actually get up and do it? Haha. Funny.
PROS: As we established: EQUALITY. All your books go in there! Library books! ARCs! Books you bought! Ebooks! This sucks about due dates, library fines and etc. But at least the jar is pretty.
CONS: Generally when you pull out a strip of paper you know exactly which book you DO NOT feel like reading next. This, I guess, is helpful in its own way???? But really not???
What is the internet even FOR if not to demand people do the work for you, hmm? I mean sure, I could make decisions. But instead I’ll make you make them for me and everything is fine.
PROS: You usually get personalised recommendations when people vote, like “Oh I just read this one and it’s so good!” which makes one more excited about a novel. Also the blame is TOTALLY on them if you end up hating the book!! So nice!
CONS: Well polls have this horrible habit of BEING TIED which is just mean. Or else the book you don’t feel like wins. Or someone does the opposite of above and says “Oh that book you’re super excited about IS VERY BAD. ABORT.” Which leaves you eating hardboiled eggs in dull silence. Sometimes it’s better not to know, gee Steven.
METHOD #5: CLOSE YOUR EYES AND TURN AROUND TWICE UNDER THE FULL MOON AND CHANT “BOOK BOOK BOOK” INTO A MIRROR AND THEN POINT.
It’s like Mary Bloody Mary except with books which is obviously more dangerous. Ask anyone! If you tick off your TBR pile and it falls on you out of revenge, it’s definitely worse than fraternising with the darkness.
PROS: Hey it’s random! It’s fun! You might pick one at the bottom of the pile (and die getting it out) or one at the top (and feel guilty about the bottom ones). This is a LOT like a TBR jar but less aesthetic and easier to rig. And who doesn’t like rigging “Random” choosings, hmm?! (I think I just Slytherined all over the place.)
CONS: What isn’t the problem here, seriously. AGAIN with all the problems with a TBR jar and being late for books with release dates and just general AGONISING SELF DOUBT. I am fun at parties, btw.
METHOD #6: JUST GO WITH YOUR MOOD AND PICK WHATEVER PIQUES YOUR INTEREST IN THAT SECOND.
This is actually my go-to method in case you were wondering. The great part about this one is that you can be ahead or behind of your TBR goals at any time and you don’t even know it! No one knows it! Are you organised or a holy terror! Surprise! We don’t know!
PROS: It’s a lot more relaxed. You just read what YOU want and you’re like 7 x more likely to actually enjoy it. Less forcing and all that nonsense. Also you can go on like pirate streaks or contemporary streaks or chocolate cake streaks (shh that’s a type of YA book) and mass-consume until you hate that category entirely. #fun
CONS: Where do we even START lmao. You can get so so so behind on ARCs because you didn’t feel like it at that time. Or you request a book + promptly don’t feel like it = promptly turn into a ghost who screams in the attic on Tuesday nights. And you usually read shiny books the most often?? The older ones just cry alone?? Also you actually have TO KNOW WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE. Another decision to make. Heckin’ heck who even said this was ever a good idea.
METHOD #7: DO NOT GO SOFTLY INTO THE NIGHT AND RAGE UNTIL MORNING OR WHATEVER.
This method is a little less known because it’s not a method. It’s just us all having an existential crisis over CHOOSING A BOOK. No it’s not hyperbolic. Choosing the wrong book could equal other books feeling left out and abandoned in the cold. Do you want to be that kind of monster?? No.
PROS: There literally are none except it’s very therapeutic.
CONS: You get nothing done and the neighbours think all the yelling is because you are being attacked by wasps.
I think this is the cop out one which basically says: I CAN’T EVEN PICK A WAY TO PICK PICKING A BOOK. If there is a low, we just reached it.
PROS: At least sometimes you’re on top of things? Sometimes you’re behind? Sometimes you’re calm? Mostly not tho. As they say: “a little bit of everything is a lovely thing.” Which probably more applies to ice cream toppings, but also to indecisive monsters who can’t pick their next read.
CONS: You have no idea what you’re doing and your TBR grows by 500% in three minutes because you end up sitting on the floor going on twitter instead of reading because DECISIONS. ARE. HARD.