If you have an opinion, someone is so totally going to disagree with you. IT’S LIFE. It’s kind of awesome, in a way, because it means humans aren’t robotic melons. We have brains. We occasionally use them to come to opinions. These opinions can be tiny (like are you a feminist) or huge (is cake okay for breakfast).
OPINIONS ARE GOOD.
As you might’ve noticed, I’m a book blogger (not actually a foodie blogger, I know this is confusing, my pineapple friends) and I constantly blog about my opinion on books. People disagree with me. We chat. We have discussions. Sometimes I learn things! Sometimes I realise I said something uneducated in my review and I totally am glad someone disagreed so I could rethink how I worded things.
Reasons Disagreement On Books (Or Really Any Topic) Can Be Good:
- Lets you do the samba in someone else’s shoes.
- Points out something you maybe missed.
- Encourages you to really THINK about your opinion and why you believe what you do.
- It makes conversation! THAT IS GOOD, RIGHT?
- Helps you to know whose cake to poison.
OKAY OKAY! I’M JOKING ABOUT THE LAST ONE. I totally am. I just…I couldn’t resist.
Anyway.
Disagreeing (politely) and voicing different opinions and entering debates are all totally acceptable things to do. THEY ARE. But here comes my delicious question of the day…
DO YOU (PERSONALLY) ACTUALLY LIKE TO DEFEND YOUR OPINION? AND DO YOU EVER THINK DISAGREEMENT IS POINTLESS?
What I mean by “pointless” is: will your viewpoint change anyone’s mind? And, if not, then is it worth the time to disagree??
We can be stubborn little vegemites online — I know! And some of us are more prone to never ever eeeever changing our minds. While others are more like “Oh! I never thought about it that way before, that is awesome!” I, um, ahem…I probably more belong into the first stubborn little vegemite category.
But, I also want to slip in here that: sometimes I get tired of defending my opinion. I’m not an uber controversial person, so having a WILD disagreement isn’t common for me. (Thank goodness.) But. Sometimes I’ll write a goodreads review and receive a horde of disagreements and — I JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE DEFENDING MYSELF. So I don’t. I just let it go. I believe that’s okay too. And side note: don’t ever act like someone didn’t think their opinion through. Sure, maybe they didn’t. But probably they did.
I don’t always bother defending my opinion online. But I do try to see from other viewpoints! Although — to be strictly honest — I rarely change my opinion. But I’m TOTALLY cool with people disagreeing with me. Just so long as they’re a) polite, and b) don’t expect the conversation to end with me a convert. It’s kind of cool to see WHY we disagree on things! I definitely think (polite) disagreement can provoke healthy and interesting discussion. The world would be a boring place if we all thought alike, right?
But, like 99% of all my discussion topics: THIS IS SO SUBJECTIVE. I think it depends on how stubborn we are and if we like healthy debates. SO. You know what this means right? TIME FOR YOUR OPINIONS.
-~-
Agree, agree, agree! I don’t ignore other people’s opinions because I like to hear why they liked/disliked the book that I disliked/liked. I want to learn. I might not have picked up on something. But at the same time when I read the book I got a certain impression from it. That opinion was my own, unique to my reading experience and most of the time it doesn’t really matter what everyone says, my opinion is going to stay that way. BUT that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear that opinion in the first. Does that make sense??
Rachel @ Rachel’s Reading Corner recently posted…Sunday Overview: Boredom & A Bucket List
To be perfectly honest when I see something online that I disagree with I tend to just keep my opinion to myself, I just feel like sometimes the drama isn’t worth it, because most of the time I find some disagreements turn into a huuugggeee thing and just arrrggghhh drama, bleghh.
I am very misinformed on a lot of things so I welcome posts that prove me wrong (Engie does this a lot, and it’s great). Although I do get annoyed when people are AGGRESSIVE about asserting their opinion, because often it’s a case of ignorance rather than deliberate douchebaggery that leads to the aggression (I’m talking mostly about feminism stuff here rather than book blogging, honestly).
Emily @ Loony Literate recently posted…It’s a Loony Life (18) – Back to School For My Last Term!
Poisoning cake? That is so evil, Cait. WHAT A WASTE OF CAKE. I love participating in slightly controversial book disagreements, and I love commenting on/writing these posts, but … yeah, sometimes it’s just tiring to disagree with someone. I change my mind at the speed of light and a bit more, so basically just ply me with logic and cake bribes. And it’s so exhausting to disagree with people, there’s that. So more often than not, when the disagreement goes past two rounds I’m just like, “yeah, sure, you make sense too.”
Alyssa @ The Devil Orders Takeout recently posted…Snazzy Snippets: A Closer Look at Matryoshka and Sparse Drafts
Well. I’ve never actually had any disagreements on any of my reviews from my readers (except the occasional “HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE THIS BOOK?!” or “YEESH YOU LIKE THIS BOOK FOR REAL?”) so I really wouldnt know. Obviously I give my point of view on people’s posts but I don’t think I have EVER gotten into an argument about stuff with them.
Madiha @ Symphony of Words recently posted…Review: Royal Wedding by Meg Cabot (The Princess Diaries #11)
So agree with all of this, Cait! I rarely do an argument online or in real life, mainly because I’m a person who don’t like to debate (unless I’m 100% sure with my opinions). But I do see from their viewpoint, and sometimes I even change my opinions if I feel like it made sense more.
Tiffany @ The Bookish Thought recently posted…Review : Dangerous Girls by Abigail Haas
To be honest, I enjoy good disagreement here and there. By good disagreement I mean polite and thoughtful exchange of opinions. If I feel passionate baout some topic, I would state my different opinion online. And I welcome different opinions on my blog. I cannot remember if someone ever changed my opinion by stating their different opinion on my blog, but I always like to discuss stuff with people, seeing how other minds work.
Lucia @Reading Is My Breathing recently posted…REVIEW: Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
Disagreement is never pointless with me, because (although there are a few places where I will NEVER sway with my opinion) most of the time I’m VERY open to changing my opinion. And generally if I can’t decide WHAT I believe, I just ask my mother-in-law what SHE believes and she’ll explain why and I’ll usually side with her.
When I was younger I loved to disagree and debate with people. And I will admit I was aggressive at times. I’m not proud of everything I said. 🙁
Now I tend to stay away from disagreements/debates or arguments of any kind. Too many people get hurt feelings. Or people are jerks. Very few people are willing to say they’re wrong. It mostly sucks. Lol
Now if it’s among good friends, whoall know how to be civil, I’ll probably join. Friends know each other better and are much more willing to see subjects from another perspective. 🙂
Abi recently posted…Reading 2015
I LOVE this topic. I am open to discussion on everything I post. I want people to feel free to say if they disagree with me. I may not change my mind, but I do think having a public blog invited people to disagree. Anytime you put yourself out there, you may encounter someone to disagree. So I welcome that.
I don’t think most bloggers understand this. It is unfortunate that most bloggers I encounter want me to just agree with their rating, and say “Great Post!”
Recently, I left a comment on a review on a site I don’t normally read, because the blogger asked at the end of the post. “Have you read this book? What did you think?” I said I saw their point about the book’s flaws, but I had given it a better review. I even said “to each their own” or something like that. Then, I got attacked by the next blogger leaving a comment. Told to “have some damned respect” and not disagree with the rating. I responded that it wasn’t meant to be hurtful, and then the blogger (who wrote the review) said she thought my comment sounded mean. Really? If you disagree you are mean I guess.
I was really shocked since it looked like the blogger was open to comments. Oh well, I learned my lesson to never comment on that site.
Karen Blue recently posted…The Sunday Post #44- In which I stress the week away
I TOTALLY think it’s okay to disagree with people. I mean: an opinion is an opinion. It’s neither right or wrong… and for the most part, people GET that. What I HATE, though, is when another person tells you that your opinion is wrong. HAHA NO.
Kara @ Diary of a Teen Writer recently posted…Recently Acquired Books || AKA Books I Hope to Devour Soon
I’m scared of confrontation so having to defend my opinion terrifies me A LOT. I welcome discussion and disagreement OF COURSE but entering a heated debate? Nope. I just can’t do it. If it’s a friendly debate, then maybe. Especially if it has to do something with feminism or thinly-veiled abuse in YA romances where I don’t have a strong enough grasp on feminism that I don’t think I can do it justice if I try to argue, or the latter where I just don’t bother anymore.
Hilary recently posted…Top Ten Books That Have Wandered Foolishly Into My Greedy Hands
I rarely change my mind when it comes to big issues. I’ve thought about those things a lot and am confident in my opinion. When it comes to smaller things, like “is this character a total idiot,” I’m much more flexible.
However, if I ever do disagree with something online I keep it to myself. It’s much easier that way. There are too many people who get offended. I might think through why I disagree and if that person has a point, but I won’t publish anything online. It’s too easy to get trapped in a shouting match and I’m not about that kind of confrontation 🙂
Leeann recently posted…Books I Should Read (but probably won’t)
I think sometimes it’s tough to decide what to do with different scenarios, for example;
If somebody has shared an opinion disagreeing with mine on a blog post of mine, I will reply, take into account, consider their opinion and appreciate their sharing, but I will NEVER tell them they’re wrong, just that we think differently and that’s okay.
If somebody has shared an opinion on their post and I disagree, I will decide whether or not to share that opinion – sometimes, if I’m so against it, I won’t, I’ll just stay in my hole, but sometimes, I will share why I think differently and at least have some sort of argument for it, but I won’t try and change their minds, because really, it’s not my place, you know?
Being an arsehole about it all isn’t going to make anyone like you – sure, talk about opinions and things, but never make somebody feel about their own, and never have a go at someone for it, and you should never feel the need to justify yourself, what you think is what you think, people that want a reason or feel you need to prove it, are not worth your time, okay?
This is a great post Cait, it’s so so good! 🙂
Amanda @ Nellie and Co. recently posted…3 Ways To Maintain Your Blogging ‘As a Hobby’ Status
First off, cake is totally an acceptable breakfast food. (Seriously, though, how is that even a question?) As for disagreements online, I will enter in sometimes if I feel I can be objective and nice (because, even when you’re trying, sometimes people can misread stuff), and if others are being nice. But like, if I stumble across a discussion that’s getting a bit out of line, I generally won’t involve myself unless I feel I can include an opinion that might offer some middle ground. But I rather hate conflict, so I try to only engage in nice discussions. And I usually won’t change my mind about something after an internet debate (which is why I don’t debate too much, because I don’t want to go around trying to change people’s minds online–I don’t think it works), but I will find myself with, hopefully, a new perspective that I didn’t have before. It bothers me though when I see discussions where people feel the need to force others into the same opinion–I like that we aren’t robotic melons, as you so aptly put it. And I am a stubborn vegemite like that–no one gets to control my opinion. So I try to be careful that I’m not controlling others.
Anyway, great topic for thinking about. Thanks for sharing!
Liz Brooks recently posted…The Unpopular Opinions Tag
Most of the time I’m like “pfft, whatever”, but I will get into an argument if it’s a book I love and adore. Then the claws come out, and you had better get out of my way or you might find yourself missing your eyeballs. And even then, this is only if the person is rude about it. Like, I’ll happily have a conversation about why we liked and didn’t like a book if the person is, like you said, polite and not planning on ending the conversation thinking that they would make me end up loving a book I hated or vis versa.
Aine recently posted…How to Survive A Horror Novel (A Practical Guide)
Online disagreements are pretty much useless. I rarely see anyone change their stance. Even if presented with a ton of evidence that makes their position seem completely untenable, most people will stubbornly stick to their stance… even at the risk of looking like a fool. I don’t know what it is about us humans; we really don’t like changing our minds!
I try to stay out of most disagreements online because of this… unless someone has said something so completely off-base that it’s actually offensive to reality. But, even then, I know there’s not much hope of the person seeing the issue another way. We cling to our opinions like a drowning man clings to a life raft.
I don’t know if I’ve ever completely changed my opinion based on someone else’s (see my previous remarks!) but my opinions can evolve a little. I might see a character in a new way, or gain some insight on a theme I didn’t have before. But changing my mind and suddenly rating a one-star book a five? Ain’t gonna happen. (So I wish people would stop telling me to reread books I disliked so that I’ll completely change my mind and love it like they did, as if I was completely asleep the first time I read it. Do that, and I’ll dig my heels in and write you off as a pushy, rabid fan with bad taste.) 🙂
La Coccinelle @ The Ladybug Reads… recently posted…Review – The Here and Now
I LOVE hearing people’s various book opinions, but I wish more people knew how to respectfully disagree (especially about important things) rather than fight. So often, I feel like when people hear your opinion is different, they start by attacking you rather than debating with you. Which is ironic, since being a jerk kind of makes their opinion less credible.
Alison’s Wonderland Recipes recently posted…Happy National Ice Cream Day!
I enjoy a friendly debate–not an aggressive, there-is-only-one-right-opinion-on-this-book-and-it’s-MINE debate. XD Another perspective can be good. If it’s entirely opposite to my own, it probably won’t change my mind, but sometimes a different slant does offer some good food for thought.
(In general though, internet debates really don’t change anyone’s mind. At all. It just makes people feel good about their standpoint because they can climb up on their virtual soapbox and shout about it. I try to steer clear of that.)
Tracey recently posted…Beautiful People – Alucinora
I tend to just cowardly hide from topics I disagree on (like ToG), but from time to time I will branch out and try and tell people what I think. People (especially book people) are just so passionate about so many things (characters and books) and I just don’t want people to spear me for thinking differently (even though most book people are very sweet).
-Monica @ Tomes Project
Monica recently posted…Stacking the Shelves [21]: The One Where I’m a Weak Human
I’ve only written a few /actual/ controversial posts, but everyone, no matter if they agreed or not were super nice while putting their opinions forth.
None of them said, “hey, you suck because your opinion doesn’t match mine and I hate what you believe in,” or any angry comments of the like XD so yay, I’m lucky. The blogosphere is a beautiful, beautiful place. But yeah, there is an extent to how much you disagree, but the key is to be completely calm and nice about it. XD lovely post, Cait <3
Nirvana @ Quenching the Quill recently posted…// reading, breathing, glasses thievery, artistic attempts //
Basically once you mentioned Vegemite, my brain turned to mush and I drooled all over my keyboard, so I don’t know what the rest of your post said. But…erm…I agree! Yes, that sounds good. 😉
Debates and differing opinions are always welcome on my blog as long as everyone respects each other. I don’t want to see anyone infringing on someone else’s right to have their own opinion and share it. I’m usually open to hearing people out for the sake of hearing what they have to say, but I usually don’t change my mind about the book. Sometimes, they’ll make me consider re-reading the book, but I don’t normally simply change my mind about the book. For example, I read Throne of Glass and thought it was good but not extraordinarily good, but I’ve been seeing a ton of hype and I’m wondering if I just didn’t enjoy it as much because I was reading it during a stressful time.
Dana @ The Unprinted Protagonist recently posted…Review | “Rook” by Sharon Cameron
I’m fine with discussions where there are disagreements as long as it doesn’t devolve into a personal grudge match. A I’m right/you’re wrong kind of thing which happens all to often especially on news sites and Facebook. Disagreements are good for all the reasons you stated above. What’s hard is being the dissenting voice and finding no one else on your side.
Terri M., the Director recently posted…Scenic Sundays 41: The Return and Terry Pratchett
I’m very stubborn and can be pretty argumentative, but I never feel like putting in the effort to argue online. I think it is harder to convey an emotional opinion through text because it can’t have inflection or facial expressions or those extravagant hand gestures I like to use. Also, people online can tend to be SO RUDE. It’s like they all assume other people online are robots, but not all of us are.
Huh, this is a great topic.
Umm I don’t usually comment on reviews if I strongly disagree with the reviewer’s opinion. Look, reading is a REALLY subjective activity and two people can’t read a book in the same way – we all have different life experience and personalities and that will factor in your impression of the book. I might go “I’m sorry you disliked it, I thought it was rather good because X” but I’ll never go “OMG why did you like this book, it was horrible.” Even if it was – for me.
But I like it when people disagree with me when I write discussion posts – they open up new avenues of thought, which, as you said, is always/usually a good thing. Luckily, my blog is pretty small so it doesn’t draw in that many internet trolls who come to comment with a bad attitude – and I’m not sure I would want to defend myself from them, either. It’s a waste of time anyway!
Kaja recently posted…The Art of Sinning by Sabrina Jeffries
The truth is, I’m a very neutral person. I mean, I have opinions, but I just don’t see the point in arguing, and I also hate it when people try to change my opinion because they think that theirs is better, so I just live and let live and try to avoid arguments as much as possible.
On the one hand I like disagreement, like you mentioned I love seeing things from other people their point of view and see why they think of a topic differently. I think it’s great we all like different things and it can be fun to talk about. It’s interesting seeing other point of views. Like my topic about cliffhangers last week, I kinda like them, but there were some commentors who absolutely hate them, I find that interesting to see and hear of the why behind that.
On the other hand sometimes I don’t want to have to defend myself. It often depends on the topic and how the disagreement is born and how both sides word it. I recently had a disagreement on someone else their blog, she replied back and I just wanted to defend my point more, but decided to let it go as I felt like I couldn’t convince her anyway. That’s what I don’t like when I feel like the whole debate is pointless as the other person isn’t able to see my point ever. Then why should I keep arguing? I rather keep quiet and just drop it then.
On the other hand I know there are some topics I would like to hear other people their viewpoints about, but probably never change my opinion. You are welcome to try and change my stance on being a vegetarian ;). But generally I would like to think I am a pretty open person and am willing to listen to other people their opinion and understand why they think that way. Great topic!
Lola recently posted…Sunday Post #135
I absolutely don’t mind differing opinions! I mean, let’s face it, it’s the reason there ARE so many books out there. If we all liked the same ones… well, there’d only be like, 4 books. I digress. If I am commenting on someone’s review, and they hated a book that I loved or vice versa, I will probably just try to focus on the things we did have in common. Or just kind of say “I can see why X, Y, and Z frustrated you. I didn’t mind it, but it makes sense because of Q”. I would NEVER say that their opinion is invalid, and to be honest, I try to just NOT comment if my views are super different, unless I am answering a question they’ve posed or something.
People who get HEATED over reviews? What even IS that!? I have seen it (not on my reviews, but other people’s- like yours!) and I don’t get it! An opinion is an opinion, so… who cares if we don’t share the same one!? I mean, I like hearing other opinions, it makes me think about things a bit differently, though no, it doesn’t really ever change MINE, but I don’t ever fault someone for having a differing opinion, especially when it comes to something as subjective as books!
I don’t blame you a bit for not engaging the beasts. Sometimes I think people are really just looking for a fight when they post stuff like that. Why give them the satisfaction? Good for you for taking the high road!
Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight recently posted…This Week At Midnight (70)
I think disagreement can be very interesting and constructive. I welcome it, and will enter disagreements myself online, if I feel the comments actually contribute to a conversation. As you’ve said, sometimes people (including me!) miss things. Respectfully saying “I think you should consider this” is good.
I’m also ok with people just noting that they disagree. If I love a book and someone comments on my blog to the effect of “Interesting. I thought this was the worst thing I’ve ever read. Glad it found an audience!” that’s fine, too. What’s NOT good is someone commenting online to just tell someone else that he or she is wrong, without any intention of having a respectful conversation.
Briana @ Pages Unbound recently posted…Grounded: The Adventures of Rapunzel by Megan Morrison
I really don’t have a problem with a little bit of healthy debate when it comes to something like books. Honestly, probably the most controversial I ever got with one of my blog posts was with my more recent one about how I think books should have content rating like movies and TV shows. On that post, there were people that agreed with me and people that disagreed with me. Three people even wrote response posts. I really didn’t mind because even though there was debate going on, it was healthy debate and more of a hearty discussion about the pros and cons of a content rating system for books rather than personal attacks on each other. So no, I don’t mind healthy debate about something like books. It’s interesting to me, actually, and I don’t think anyone goes in it to change peoples’ opinions, but rather to just have a discussion and voice their own opinions. (Because let’s be real, here: no one really changes their opinions online, but it’s nice to see things in a new light and have a voice contributing to your opinion.)
Now what I do have a problem with is when people start personally attacking others for their opinions. Luckily, I’ve never had someone attack me for my opinions, but I have heard plenty of other people being called nasty things for their opinion. That kind of disagreement is absolutely pointless and accomplishes nothing. Honestly, if I feel so passionate about a subject that I am driven to call someone a name for some comment of theirs, I would rather go out and do something active about it instead of attacking others. I don’t think that has a place online.
Ana @ Butterflies of the Imagination recently posted…Book Review: Veiled Rose by Anne Elisabeth Stengl
Ha, I mean, being a competitive debater and all I suppose I do quite enjoy defending my position (even when it’s a position I know 0 about and am assigned 20 minutes before the round. Ah, I do love high school debate.. anyways…)
I think it’s important to defend your position even if you’re not sure that you’ll change anyone’s mind. It’s important to make sure other people know what opposing viewpoints are out there. Even if someone is a raging homophobe or an ignorant pro-lifer who is clearly not going to change their mind if an angry short young woman comes waving her arms and shouting, it’s important that they know not everyone agrees. That they are made aware that their mindsets are dehumanizing and have actual, harmful real-word impacts.
That being said, if you just disagree on whether a particular book character was or was not likable, the need to argue is not as great. As most book lovers do, I very much enjoy discussion about books, and it’s fantastic to have a civil, intelligent conversation over conflicting viewpoints of a book. However, book arguments are typically not worth getting hissy and spitty and all-caps-y over (er.. I mean, it’s generally good to not ever get in this mood but in some cases I must say it’s a bit justified). They’re also way more subjective and arbitrary, unlike arguments about Hmm Should We Deprive Women of Bodily Autonomy Because We Value the Imaginary Rights of a Ball of Cells More or Hmm Should We Ostracize and Dehumanize People Who Experience Sexual Attraction Differently Than We Do… like, seriously, people.
Also, I always always always recommend staying away from YouTube arguments about /anything/. Seriously, there are vicious strangers with weird usernames hurling insults over everything from Taylor Swift to atheism, and it is never civil or enlightened.
And last note, this is not particularly relevant but I don’t consider being a feminist a particularly tiny opinion; doing research on intersectional feminism has opened me up to so much wrong that I didn’t realize about the world, made me considerably more angry overall, changed my vocabulary (*side-eyes ableist slurs*), etc. haha
Sometimes I enter into way too many disagreements online, but like you mentioned, it can be pointless. I am always welcome to different opinions on my blog posts or reviews. Yes, I do try to see things from other people’s perspective. But continuing the conversation beyond a certain point can be useless. If they express their point and I express mine, then continuing to debate it just does no good.
Cynthia @ Bingeing On Books recently posted…Beach Reads: Recommendations Needed
Lots of internet trolls seem to thrive on disagreements and arguments, but ain’t nobody got time for that! It’s your blog, your opinion and if people don’t like it then they can go away 😛
Jeann @ Happy Indulgence recently posted…Because You’ll Never Meet Me by Leah Thomas Review: Electricity Boy & German Daredevil
This post is a one big win… That might all be because of the Community gif though! I love me some Senor Chang!
I like opinions but I never feel the need to have to truly defend it, especially when it comes to my opinion on a book. It’s a book. Like any other product or form of entertainment, it’s going to be different for every single person who reads/uses/watches/listens to it. I might comment on a review to say I didn’t like the book but am glad they did. But I never want to attack or make someone defend their opinion if they felt differently to me. That’s just stupid. Unless they say that the Hobbit movies were better than the LOTR films or that the last season of Dexter was good. Then I will. Because those opinions are WRONG 😉
I don’t change my mind based on other people’s opinions. If I have made up my mind on something then there usually isn’t very much that will ever change that.. EVER!!! What can I say… I AM STUBBORN!!!
Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm recently posted…Demon Road by Derek Landy: Review
I like a bit of disagreement, because other peoples opinions are
sometimesworthwhile. I’m lucky that I”ve never encountered any hate online, but I try not to participate in it, just tell the person what exactly I thought and why. Sometimes my opinion does change, but *sings* the past is in the paaaaaast.Shanti recently posted…Liebster Award, Shanti edition
I disagree with people all the time. I am a disagreeable little sausage. However, I do not do it with the intention of changing someone’s mind or forcing my opinion on them. I just think it’s important to talk about things and share experiences. I sometimes read something and have no idea what I read so I rant about it and then someone will come along and tell me why I’m being ridiculous. I will still think it’s confusing but at least someone who has read it and understood it can explain why it was more than a horrendous, babbling mess.
THIS WHOLE COMMENT IS A HORRENDOUS BABBLING MESS but I know what I meant so shush.
DISAGREEMENT FOR THE WIN.
Charlotte @ readalotte.com recently posted…#TBRtakedown 2.0: My TBR & Challenges
Oooh, yes! I AGREE (heh) with like pretty much everything here. Hm, I sort of like healthy disagreements/debates, so long as they don’t yuck up relationships. I find it SO ANNOYING how offended people can get through comments made on the internet when a lot of times, if the situation were taking place in a natural non-cyber environment, nobody would be offended. Crazy, crazy stuff. Ehh. But! I think there definitely is hope, and agreeing to disagree is such a good quality. I’m more with the stubborn little vegemites crowd, but… yeah. I’m learning how to be good/better. Heh.
“These opinions can be tiny (like are you a feminist) or huge (is cake okay for breakfast).” < YOU ARE AWESOME.
over and out,
abbiee
Abbiee recently posted…west coast diaries – part two: mount rushmore
I’ll probably shock a nation… But I love to debate. I’m strongly opinionated, not a feminist or pick a cause weekly to complain about, but I like to challenge, debate and ruffle a few feathers to encourage friendly discussion. But that’s the key word there, friendly. But what I try NOT to do, it to stick my nose in on others reviews and debate. Really, there’s no need to take your issue to someone elses review, even though I’m guilty of ranting (or starting revolutions) in comment sections. Would you go up to someone in a cafe who was discussing something and start yelling YOU’RE WRONG YOU TOSS POT! No, you wouldn’t. It’s bad form.
I’m going to come out and say it (unpopular opinion time) but the internet has given so many of us absolutely horrible manners. Kids and teens are being brought up to think it’s the social norm, and it’s isn’t. The problem is, we use the internet for basic social skills nowadays and there’s nowhere near the same kind of respect you get from a one on one situation. I muck around a lot on Twitter, but I never cross that line from being jovial into being insulting. But sadly it doesn’t work both ways. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve been offended by someone half my age being quite the asshole to myself, just for a laugh on there. It’s actually insulting and upsets me. It’s times like that where I see the massive age gap, not just in numbers but also in maturity. And sadly that also extends into reviews. We are all entitled to our opinion, but ease up on throwing it in peoples faces. I think it’s finding the balance between friendly discussion and having tact. And unfortunately so many don’t seem to have those traits anymore.
Have you been having trouble again smushy?
Sorry, really didn’t mean for that to be an essay
*backs away quietly*
Kelly recently posted…Lorali by Laura Dockrill
Yes! Yes, exactly (I liked your essay). The Internet allows sloppy manners (because it’s too easy.)
Rule of thumb for me: If you won’t say it to their face, and you can’t say it nicely: JUST DON’T 🙂
Rebekah @ Wordsmithing and Worldbuilding recently posted…Fantasy Novella Review: Mourning Cloak by Rabia Gale
I love to voice my opinion and argue my point, but at one point or another you realize that people aren’t going to change their opinion and it’s futile to try to persuade them otherwise. Disagreement is always welcome, just don’t make it personal!
This post cracked me up (I was just thinking about this topic, and then, BAM!, my email sends me this link).
Strange.
I see disagreements and tend to run for the hills. I have strong opinions, loads, but I have wasted enough time defending myself OFF the internet, that when I see it in a comments thread, I just want to take a nap instead.
However, I think that disagreements are important! If we all agree, then we are probably on Soma . . .
As a book blogger, I do pay a lot of attention to a thoughtful discussion. I have read reviews, for example, that convinced me to read a book I was going to pass on (The Winner’s Curse was a recent example). I like to know why people loved a book, and why they didn’t. Granted, that never influences how I feel about it, but it will sometimes make me think about something a little differently.
But if there is spleen-venting, spewing, and other poisonous nastiness, I keep myself away. It’s too easy to shoot harsh words into the “void” that the internet seems to be at times. The drama and negativity aren’t worth it. Still, I’ve not run into a book lover who was party to this sort of thing!
Rebekah @ Wordsmithing and Worldbuilding recently posted…Fantasy Novella Review: Mourning Cloak by Rabia Gale
Hm. I think mostly when I read, say a book review, I’m not likely to start a discussion. If I’ve established some kind of relationship with the one writing the review, I’ve read the book and feel totally different about it, I will most likely tell the person “how interesting that you enjoyed/disliked this, I read it more like this….”. But that’s more because I enjoy the exchange of thougts between us and want to expand our conversation, if that makes any sense.
Mostly I just read reviews like a newspaper headline. I take them in and process them but they don’t make that much different to me, in the sense that I feel I need to raise my voice and tell all my thoughts. However, I do enjoy reading reviews that entertain and those are more likely to get me engaged with commenting, just because they are hilarious!
I am a very (very) opinionated person so there is TONS I don’t agree with but I have come to terms that if someone disagrees with me on a book or something then as long as it doesn’t kill me then it’s cool…and also the fact that I’m too lazy to argue
Lily (chapterspageswords.blogspot.com) recently posted…One Year Blogoversary at Chapters Pages Words! (INT GIVEAWAY)
I don’t really jump into disagreements per se, I just like talking and discussions. Though most of the time I’m met with a lot of hostility and “no you’re wrong and I’m right”, which is why I tend to not get into those kind of discussions now. I have had my ideas changed through a well written article, though.
Alexa @ Books and Cosplay! recently posted…June x July Update
I think that disagreement and clash of ideas is necessary. can you imagine if everyone thought the same way? we’d never be able to see things from all sides. but the problem is that some people get so attached to their ideas that they can’t let go and see others’ sides.
i don’t think we always need to defend but i make it a thing to respond to all because i want people to think their opinions matter – and they do, even if they’re different.
Nova @ Out of Time recently posted…The Representation of Culture in YA
I totally agree with you, Cait! I’m actually a pretty stubborn vegemite, too. I rarely change my opinion as well, but I’m open to hearing the other side as long as they hear mine. If we still disagree on things, then it’s better to just agree to disagree and leave it at that, before it turns ugly. Twitter fights often come to fruition because both sides just don’t want to listen to each other, don’t want to hear each other out, that they feel insulted. There is no respect because all they want is to shove theirs on the other person’s throat and I don’t think that’s a good thing D: Anyone can have an opinion! Doesn’t mean that you’ll push it to others who aren’t asking for it, though, or that you’ll be an ass about it when someone wants to discuss civilly with you.
Great post, Cait dear! <3
Faye le Potato recently posted…Top 5 Book Boyfriends of 2015 (So Far)
And know what, I agree with you that disagreement can be good!
Clare recently posted…Warbreaker: Book Review
I try not to bomb someone else’s glowing review with negativity, and my motto in life is to avoid awkward situations, so I don’t usually instigate disagreement. However, I welcome it on my blog as long as it’s not expressed in a hateful manner. Thankfully, most bloggers are lovely and I have not had any heated debate in my short time blogging. As always, lovely discussion post!
Aentee @ Read at Midnight recently posted…Book Review: Falling Kingdoms
I quite like to get a good debate going online and think it’s cool to show how different people love a story in a different way/why they didn’t like it. The only thing I don’t like are shipping wars because people start sinking to low depths and WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
I don’t mind disagreement at all. What I hate is when people assume that just because I disagree with their opinion, I am inviting an argument. People can have different opinions and coexist, I swear!
I’m quite open to changing my opinion, but it only happens when someone brings forth a really good argument. And if they’re being a meanie about it then I’ll just ignore them. I hate meanness. (I seem to hate a lot of things.)
Oh and yes, sometimes I’m over defending my opinion. This is how I think online discussions should go:
A: states opinion
B: disagrees and explains fully and respectfully why
A: EITHER 1) oh okay, you may have a point there
OR 2) cool thoughts bro, but I still disagree because of whatever.
Done. Finished. Everybody lives.
Megz recently posted…Top Ten Diverse Books
For me, disagreement is all in the nuance. I love it for the conversation it creates and for the way it lets you consider things from a different point of view. I don’t often change my opinion (what I liked or didn’t like in a book I pretty much liked or didn’t like, period). But I really enjoy understanding *why* people liked the things I didn’t or vice versa. I like to see the nuance of a different perspective or an angle I hadn’t considered. I like to understand things from lots of points of view.
So, yeah, sometimes it’s totally not worth defending your opinion. But also sometimes it’s fun to just read how other people see it and think about those things – even if you don’t respond because it wouldn’t be a fun conversation.
Annie recently posted…Things I’ve never done
I try to keep an open mind. I’ve changed my opinion on some issues or books or that sort of thing, but when it comes to things that I disagree with morally I’m very firm. I’m Pro-Life. I believe everyone should have the right to be born despite the mother’s mistakes. There’s no changing me on that. If I disliked a movie and someone showed me why they liked it, I’m more lenient to change my opinion. So for me it depends on the importance of the issue. I usually steer away from online debates though. I’ve gotten into my fair share, but I hate the conflict.
Victoria Grace Howell recently posted…Tea Tuesday: Yi Dian Hong
I try to rarely enter disagreements online. I sometimes make a comment here and there, but I do usually avoid it because I’m not interested in a heated debate. If I think it’s something that can be discussed politely and whatnot, then I may comment. I try to rarely comment on anything controversial. Not only do things often quickly take a turn for the worse online, but your tone or intent can be wildly misconstrued!
Beth @ fuelled by fiction recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday │ Hyped Books I Haven’t Read…
First, I saw the thing on Goodreads, and I’m sorry about that.
Here’s my take: I think there is a respectful way to have an opinion and to disagree with someone else’s opinion. So I feel puzzled when Person A’s opinion (of a book, say) SO offends Person B that Person B proceeds to attack the opinion of Person A and even Person A him/herself.
This doesn’t work. I REALLY don’t like egg salad (long story) and I am not going to change my mind, even if you tell me how delicious egg salad is and how nutritious eggs are and how eating egg salad changed your life. I’m really very happy for you, but I will go on disliking egg salad and we will just have to agree to disagree on this topic.
I love hearing other people’s opinions, especially when they are different than mine, but I don’t think attacking another person’s opinion is very respectful or very productive.
PS I think you handled the GR thing well, Cait 🙂
Jen @ YA Romantics recently posted…Just Finished Reading … Everybody Rise by Stephanie Clifford
I like hearing other people’s opinions on things and discussing it (if everyone agrees with you all the time it gets really boring!), but sometimes it is exhausting like you said. Especially when it comes to things like feminism, racism, homophobia etc.
Michelle recently posted…Music Monday: Nostalgia
I think I’m like you.
I don’t like confrontation.
I don’t like drama.
I don’t like arguing.
I have to desire to convince someone to see my side.
I find that most people won’t change their opinion (or at least won’t admit it has changed).
So for those reasons, I don’t like disagreement and I don’t try to defend my opinion often. I just ignore it!
Ashley recently posted…WordPress Frameworks are a Crutch
I can disagree with people from time to time and especially when it comes to what I greatly disagree with people on – which is the greatness of the Harry Potter books xD But I do think it is okay to let it go sometimes, and I always try to appreciate others opinions even though sometimes I don’t agree with them. I actually have a friend who is entirely stubborn (sorta like me) and we disagree on everything ALL THE TIME. But we are still friends xd And sometimes our debating is pointless because we know nothing will change. But we do it anyway 😛
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