One of most glorious parts of the bookworm life is forcing people to read your favourite books.
Especially the painful ones. I mean, if I have to suffer, you should totally have to suffer with me. IT’S JUST LOGIC. Recommending books is a huge part the book blogger’s life, right?! Half the reason we blog is so we can talk wildly about books we liked (or didn’t like) and we are gargantuan professionals at creative recommendation tactics.
OR ARE WE???
There are so many ways to drag unsuspecting passersby into your favourite bookish fandom...but what’s the most effective way??? How can we be sure our recommendations are getting through??? What is the best way to force our obsession onto the universe???
Luckily for you I am here to (A) list some incredibly effective and creative ways to recommend books that are 100% foolproof, and (B) guaranteed not to fail, because (C) it’s SCIENCE, and (D) when am I ever wrong? Never. Ergo all of these will definitely work.
BUY YOUR VICTIM THE BOOK.
This way, obviously, requires money because while I love the novel The Book Thief, I’m not so fond of actually, you know THIEVING BOOKS IN REAL LIFE. But regardless! If you buy someone a book they totally feel beholden to read it. * Plus they have NO EXCUSE NOT TO READ IT. It’s right there. Sitting in their shelves. Staring at them. Judging them if they don’t read it.
Never underestimate the power of a judgy book.
* Unless they are ME whose sister bought her Wicked for her birthday and it took her 12 months to read it and then she DNF’d it because it was horribly boring and she is still avoiding the topic with said sister. If said sister randomly reads this post, then hahhahaah #dead
TALK ABOUT THE BOOK CONSTANTLY WITHOUT PAUSE FOR BASICALLY…FOREVER.
This one is quite fun, actually, because it means you get to talk about your FAVOURITE BOOK IN THE UNIVERSE (and honestly, what is more glorious???) and eventually, once you’ve blathered on enough, your victim will just read the book to shut you up.
And, pfft, don’t worry about waiting for “the opportune moment” to bring it up. Just talk. Now. All the time. Here, here, let me give you an example.
Victim: It’s a nice day!
Me: Yes, such nice blue sky JUST LIKE THE NAME OF BLUE SARGENT IN THE RAVEN CYCLE.
Victim: Um, yeah. So I’m hungry.
Me: Let’s eat some yogurt JUST LIKE BLUE SARGENT WOULD IN THE RAVEN CYCLE.
Victim: I feel like you’er a little obsessed with that series…
Me: It is true, but I’m only as obessed as BLUE SARGENT IN THE RAVEN CYCLE WAS WITH HER RAVEN BOYS.
This recommendation method is guaranteed to make conversation more interesting, too, by the way! You definitely won’t loose friends, hahah, of course not.
TAILOR YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS TO YOUR VICTIM’S PREFERENCES
As much as I, personally, want to recommend The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater to absolutely every human, alien, fish, and sweet potato pie I come across….I DON’T DO IT. It is the best series of the world, obviously. But I will concede that it won’t suit everyone. * So if a human pineapple says to me “I don’t like magical realism”, I’m not going to slap them in the face with The Raven Cycle.
It means a LOT to me when someone says “Hey Cait, I KNOW YOU LIKE SASS AND STABBING…so have you heard of [insert book here]”. Because (A) it shows me that they know what kind of books I like, which seriously makes me feel squishily happy, and (B) there is actually a good chance I’m going to like this book because they’ve pitched it to me with emphasis on elements I’ll like.
I get told to read books ALL THE TIME that I 100000% know I won’t like. So it makes me rather turned off random recommendations. And this is entirely the reason I never check my Goodreads recommendations. I have like 400+ of them and most are from people who don’t know me, so, eh, not trusting them.
Give PERSONALISED RECOMMENDATIONS and you’re more likely to capture your victim’s attention.
* Although, if you don’t like it, I’m just putting it out there that you MIGHT have been, like, dropped on your head as a child, or maybe perhaps you’re a pinecone in disguise as a human and that’s what’s wrong with you.
FORCE YOUR VICTIM TO BE CURIOUS BY QUIETLY PLASTERING YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR FAVOURITE BOOKS.
I subtly slather everything in my favourite books. I mention them on twitter, in copious blog posts, I take photos of them and plaster them all over my instagram account. I put the book IN YOUR FACE all the time so you can’t help but notice it. So I’m not screaming at you to read it…I’m just leaving it there.
And that’s basically like leaving the last single lonely cupcake on the table and not saying “eat it”, not saying “don’t eat it”. What’s going to happen to that cupcake??? Hmm??? THEY’LL EAT IT.
With this way, I’m not so much recommending the series, I am just saying “HELLO. LOOK I AM A RABID FAN OF THIS SERIES”. It piques attention. Victims might start thinking “Okay, but why does she always talk about that book???? What is it anyway???”
And BOOM. You win.
THREATEN VICTIM’S LIFE IF THEY DON’T READ IT
All I’m saying is, a few threats can sometimes do the trick too. Nothing drastic like “I’ll cut you, fiend” because let’s be polite, okay? Just calm threats. Nice threats.
Feasible Threat Options:
- If you don’t read it, I’ll set my dragons on you.
- Read it or else I’m packing you in a suitcase, posting you to Jupiter, and leaving you there with no snacks.
- See the size of my TBR over there? Do you wan that “accidentally” falling on your head?
- There will be no birthday/christmas presents EVER AGAIN until you read it?
- I’m not saying your tea is poisoned….but I also didn’t say it wasn’t poisoned.
- Do you remember my friend, Bob, who never read my favourite book?? No? Oh, that’s because I HAVE ERASED HIM FROM THE UNIVERSE.
THROW BOOK AT VICTIM COPIOUSLY
This is actually not IDEAL because what if you damage the book??? That would be a suffocating tragedy. But if you, perhaps, have an extra copy, you can pelt the book at your victim. If it’s a hardcover be very very very careful. You don’t want to tear the dust jacket.
SHRIEK ALL THE TIME, I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING, ALL. THE. TIME. AND USE PLENTY OF ALL CAPS WHILE YOU’RE AT IT
I’m super good at marketing. Honestly, I’ll be snapped up and hired and paid billions any day now because my marketing is just THAT effective. ALL CAPS. Never underestimate the power! I frequently trot onto twitter or goodreads and utilise my handy dandy capslock key and just SHOUT ABOUT WHAT BOOK YOU SHOULD BE READING.
I have sold innumerable books this way.
I’m constantly being told “I’m reading [insert Cait’s favourite book] and I blame Cait”. #winning
PROMISE TO BE THERE FOR THE VICTIM WHEN THEY ENTER THE INTENSE FEELS AND EMOTIONS OF THE FANDOM.
Some people are just precious little cucumbers, too delicate for this world, okay? And they must be coddled a little. Sometimes a person will put off starting a fandom because they’re afraid of all the intense emotions after watching you be so rabid. So BE THERE FOR THEM. Promise you are there for messaging and chatting and you will send them calming gifs of cute kitties if they get too attacked by all the feels.
This can totally be a lie, by the way.
Because, let’s face the truth: it is MUCH more fun to watch your victim slowly descend into the shrieking flames of your favourite fandom and watch them suffer as you did. #evillaugh
BASICALLY ME PROMISING TO BE THERE AFTER FORCING SOMEONE INTO A FEELSY FANDOM:
Some of us just like to watch the world burn, yes?