Now does everyone know what a book review is??
Because before I teach you how to write the most PERFECT book review that will actually shoot you to stardom and success guaranteed to work 1 time in 190,000 — we need to make sure we’re all on the same page * about what a book review actually is. I mean I assume you’ve either (a) read one, (b) written one, or (c) are thinking about apple strudels. But just in case here’s the definition:
Yes I made this cute little graphic to summarise all of book blogging in 3 simple points, SO YOU’RE WELCOME FOR THAT.
* HAR HAR. DID YOU GET THAT PUN? DID YOU????
Now, as a book blogger or bookworm or useless piece of lettuce in society, * you want to write the best book reviews you possibly can.
That’s why I’m here to help. Yes! I know! I actually do occasionally lose my mind and actually write HELPFUL POSTS! So today I’m going to break down HOW to write that tricky book review for you and cut out all the confusion and basically be a pure gift to society. My family always calls me a gift to society, usually when they’re trying to…you know…give me away somehow. They’re so fun!
Let’s get into it, shall we?
* Oh wow, huge burn @ me.
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- This step is actually a LOT more complicated than it seems. I mean, there are millions of books out there???? What do you choose???
- So helpful hints —> choose a new book, preferably one that just hit the shelves!
- Your audience will be SUPER KEEN to see what you think of that brand new shiny release because it is The Topic Of The Moment which is exciting. Everyone is going to love this.
- Just be aware, though, that probably everyone is reviewing it.
- Pls don’t be just another “boring voice in the grey mists of Mt. Doom.”
- Try reviewing some underrated books. Or old ones. They say “back list” so you can BRING IT BACK.
- Preferably never review those new ones. It’s just too annoying reading the same review over and over.
- If you review the backlist books NO ONE will have heard of them!! Great right?!?
- Also no one will read the review because no one’s heard of them.
- And just make sure you have a good RIGHT and REASON to review that book. Or else, like, is it really your place to review a book on topics you know nothing about?
- Everyone has a voice and opinion though.
- Share yours. Always.
- Other things that can factor into your decision to pick a book are:
- Is it due back at the library and you’re ABOUT TO GET MASSIVE FINES???????
- Did the publisher send it to you? Review it!
- And don’t worry they like their reviews a little late…so 2021 is totally ok.
- Did you buy it?? Review it!
- Is it pretty?! Share the pretty!
- Just don’t be like shallow about book aesthetics though. Be Vegemite in a world full of marmite.
- Still have literally no clue which book to review?
- OKAY GOOD LET’S MOVE FORWARD!
- This is the crucial part so pay close attention.
- When writing a review, it’s important to logically and methodically talk about what you LIKED vs DISLIKED in a book.
- It’s really rather better if you approach this really professionally. Imagine you’re working for a newspaper (IDK do we still have those) and wearing a suit and drinking coffee out of a company cup. This book deserves your literary analysis.
- Do NOT let emotions run rampant in the streets.
- I can’t even stress that enough.
- This !! is !! not !! a !! game !!
- OK now that we’ve cleared that up —> make sure you’re having fun.
- You aren’t getting paid to do this! I mean WHO EVEN CARES how you review this book. This is your 1% space of the internet and all you’re here to do is (a) entertain yourself, and (b) entertain others. Hopefully without murdering anyone with centuries old Celtic knives you took from the tombs of your ancestors.
- So please make sure you talk to your followers like people.
- You ain’t writing a speech. You’re writing emotions and feelings.
- Make sure to break up your review with lots of visuals! This helps the reader stay focused.
- Long blocks of text = super boring.
- They say “a picture is worth a thousand words”…so delete half your review and just put a gif in. IT’LL BE AWESOME.
- Speaking of gifs = have at ’em.
- It’s a great way to express what you’re FEELING by using random celebrity faces or that melting cake or that diver doing a belly-flop in the Olympics and is now ever immortalised as a gif and do you think this keeps them up at night??
- ok ok moving on
- DON’T FORGET YOUR BOOKISH PHOTOGRAPHY. It is the rage these days and 10/10 want to see you on bookstagram too because you don’t have enough to do running a blog as is.
- Now that we’ve discussed the need for lots and lots of visuals please remember to go easy on the visuals.
- It’s like stabbing your eyeballs 98 times when you see GIFS FLASHING !! ON !! EVERY !! CORNER !!
- You can’t focus on the text like that, mate. I can barely focus on word as is. I have no attention span.
- Keep me focused on the WORDS.
- Less is more. For like literally everything.
- Unless you’re eating cheese, then dude, ignore that saying.
- So basically remember —> no gifs, few photos, be the minimalist you’ve never been or wanted to be inside.
- Another important thing to remember when writing your review is: remember everyone has feelings!
- Ergo, don’t hurt the authors feelings. Lie if you gotta. Like what is honesty anyway.
- I mean, authors should 100000% not ever be reading your review. EVER. But protect their feelings anyway.
- Obviously if you want to be true to yourself, you should say how you feel!
- Honesty. Is. Key.
- But probably do that and then don’t.
- And just remember that no opinion is “wrong” because we are all allowed to think how we like! Freedom of thought and speech and all that.
- Except 87 people on Goodreads will remind you that your opinion is not as good as their opinion. Not all opinions are created equal, obviously.
- Why?
- We are conducting vague research using stale donuts and horcruxes to try and figure it out.
- Basically when writing a review (1) be honest and be YOU, and (2) make sure you cater to everyone else’s opinions too because IDK man why not.
- This is like a SUPER hard part of reviewing!
- It’s like you have to summarise your 400-word review with a couple of galaxies?!? Who invented this. Who hates us.
- And it’s worse since Goodreads doesn’t do half stars.
- Although are half stars really necessary? Pfft. You’re being pedantic. It’s just a star rating.
- It’s no big deal!!
- Now since it is such a big deal, take a lot of time/thought/care with your decision here.
- Think: what would the author do —> even though I SWEAR THEY SHOULD NEVER BE READING THEIR REVIEWS.
- Never never never give 1-stars out. Like why are you so cruel? Where did your humanity go? If you’re giving 1-star reviews you’re probably the kind of person who steals cupcakes from babies.
- You beast.
- Of course 1-stars exist for a reason so do use them. It’s your opinion after all. EXPRESS YOURSELF.
- (But just not like that, jeez, wow.)
- No one trusts a reviewer who’s throwing around all 4 and 5 stars!! We wanna see your rants and we wanna see the realistic lower ratings!
- But if possible, just rate everything THREE stars. That’s middle ground!
- Except 3-stars means you HATED it.
- Even though 3 is literally higher than being in the middle of a 5-star rating. So technically 3 stars means the book was better than average.
- But also 3-stars means you HATED it. Apparently.
- If you give out more than a few 5-star ratings a year, you’ve obviously got no standards.
- Life is too short not to give out 5-stars thought, so like, if you feel lead??? Go for it. Make someone’s day! Show your love for a book!!
- Or else just rate everything 4-STARS. And then leave a gif.
- Ok ok we’re good now.
- OK so this is the part where you get to SHARE your great review with the world!
- Obviously only get to this step if you hate yourself.
- Because hopefully by this time you’ve written quite a cool review and you’re proud of it.
- Maybe it’s a little rant! Maybe it’s a little flail!
- Either way you put effort into this so let’s post it.
- Also have like an small rucksack full of tangerines and spare socks because you will leave the country directly after this.
- A good place to post it is on Goodreads. This is where everyone goes to make sure you remember they hate the world. I mean, the world is murky so why not!
- Try finding a random reviewer you DO NOT KNOW and then contradicting everything in their review. When it literally doesn’t matter. Because who the heck cares, hmm??
- But do it.
- Also rate a few books you haven’t read that are coming out in 2020.
- Do it.
- Also Goodreads is a really lovely place to organise and catalogue books and make lists. 10/10 recommend.
- Also post it on Amazon or a retailer outlet. If you read ARCs they won’t let you review until the book is out. This gives you a 500% chance of FORGETTING TO POST THE REVIEW EVER. So pleased about this.
- This also helps authors because everyone trusts Amazon reviewers with ALL their hearts.
- I literally lie awake at night and think “How Does Amazon Feel” because that’s what humanity cares about.
- And lastly post it on your blog! If you have a blog. Some of us don’t because we tried to align our text and accidentally deleted the whole freaking thing, started a fire in the Southern Isles, exploded Mars, and set of sirens to begin WWIII.
- That happens to me a lot too.
- Anyway reviews on blogs are GREAT because it’s a foundation of being a book blogger!! Publishers love this and it’s usually a requirement.
- Probably two people will read your review and that’s awesome.
- You can also tweet or instagram your review. Most people will see your post and say “wow what did you think!” which is a great question that you didn’t just answer in the caption of your instagram post that they didn’t read.
- And if you’re tweeting, make sure to tag the author!
- EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOULD NEVER FREAKING READ REVIEWS.
- If it’s a low-starred review, pls don’t though.
- It’s like literally walking up to a stranger and tossing a bucket of rocks in their face and saying: “That’s my opinion of you, mate.” Even though they did not ask for it.
- Only tweet high-starred reviews to help them with the crippling anxiety of high expectations.
- Better yet: DON’T TWEET @ AUTHORS. Reviews are for readers to discover if they want to read the book.
- But authors do love their fans.
- Probably from a distance.
- If the authors get to wear like a beekeeper outfit that hides their panic.
WELL DONE AND CONGRATS YOU!
You know all the Dos and Donts of review writing now and you’re ready to be released into the wild!!
Unless…did this…post…confuse you at all?
Ok GOOD. Because I wanted to stand atop a woodpile and shout at the uproariously hilarious “rules” for book reviewing that we all have to try to fit in with! It’s ok to just be yourself and write your review how you want! There isn’t one way to write a review or run a blog. Same as there isn’t one way to love cake.
Full disclaimer: I LOVE writing reviews. It’s about as easy, sometimes, as baking a gingerbread house and not eating it — but I will never stop!!
Just love what you do. Make it fun. Be yourself. And don’t let anyone sneeze on you with their silly opinions for “how you should be doing things”. Reviewing is not supposed to be akin to eating a brick wall.
Be the shiny dragon you were always meant to be inside. I believe in you. (Mostly.) *
* HAHA JUST KIDDING. YOU’RE GREAT….mostly.
alright I’M DONE WITH MY NONSENSE. your turn!! have you ever been told your review was wrong? how did you handle it? do you think there are WAY too many “rules” (especially contradictory ones!!) for reviewing? add to my list if you have them! and do you like vs dislike reviewing???
Okay ow this was one of the more hilarious posts you’ve written for a while. I LOVED IT> You also mad me feel guilty that I have A LOT of books that I need to review and haven’t yet and they’re, like, haunting my dreams and I’M TRYING TO DO NANO BUT I JUST WANT TO REVIEW BOOKS ALL DAY. I have been exceptionally lucky with puttign my bookish opinions online, most people are super respectful even if they disagree (for instance, the book review I wrote today instead of NaNoing or working was about Untidy Towns which I ADOREd but I know you didn’t like and that’s okay). I think the only ruses necessary for writing book review are to a) give it thought and feeling b) be clear and c) be honest. Also I now feel guilty for not using enough visuals in my reviews wow oops). Anyway I oved this. <3
Shanti recently posted…Review: Genuine Fraud (genuinely not for me)
HEYYYY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!😂 It’s been SO long since I did a post like this and haha I just had a lot of fun.😂 But hey nothing like being haunted by book reviews! I’m haunted by my TBR so that’s always fun. And I honestly have gotten to the point where I don’t even care if people disagree with my reviews? I just wish we could all be respectful about it. (EXCEPT The Raven Cycle. I have to exit that conversation because I can’t handle listening to negatives.😂)
And yes! Be thoughtful and honest, that’s all we really need. And have fun, too.😂 Because if reviewing is torture why do it!?
This was great! I will NEVER struggle to write a book review again! This is the kind of quality content that I come here for.
I actually struggle to review books that I absolutely love. You know, those books that you can’t even begin to be rational about. I can only write “squee” and gush so much before I start to bore myself.
YOU ARE SO WELCOME. I’M HERE TO SERVE. Absolute quality content is all you’ll ever get here on Paper Fury.😂
This article was almost the most frustrating thing I had read in my life, and I was ready to print it up just to light it on fire before I got to the end and realized that it was satire.
Now my emotions are all confuzzled and I don’t know what I feel or think HALP!!
YOU’RE WELCOME.😂😂 Just know if I publish a post that’s too helpful, the apocalypse has come and someone else stole my blog.😂
Good to know! XD
Hahaha! Oh boy reviewing is fun, easy and hardest thing I have ever done. Sooo much anxiety! Someone is going to read it… well just a couple of people will read it. Ok I’ll admit I encourage (pay) my family to read it but they already think I am crazy so they don’t count. Do they???
Great post!
Sue @ Crushingcinders recently posted…Adding to Your TBR November 2017
IT IS HARD!! And fun. But also really hard.😂 I’ve been reviewing for 6+ years and I still end up going “How do you review.”😂
Hey just loved reading it. So funny and so true.! Thank you for the tips.
I’m glad you enjoyed it!!😂
I appriciate this post, especially since my reaction when my friends tend to ask how to write book reviews is basically..,uh…you write it…?
Man, though, Goodreads. SO. MUCH. DRAMA. It’s nuts. I once had someone go through literally four years of my reviews in order to find a freaking two-star review of something (Eragon, I think?) to tell me it was wrong. And, most recently, I had someone find my review of It’s Not Like It’s A Secret, go through my goodreads accounts to my blog to find my Twitter to message me to tell me that I was wrong.
People, man.
You only rated Eragon 2 stars?!!!😱😪😖😞👺😾
I know right?! I have no idea how to review and I apparently have over a 1,000 reviews on Goodreads. Who could’ve known.😂
Omg the drama on goodreads is surreal. Yesterday I was getting explained how to edit my book…and by that point I decided I just needed to leave. And like haaha I have been “reading” Eargon since I was 15 so. At some point I need to finish or call a DNF.
I mean, maybe we should be in awe of how thoroughly people search us out to tell us we’re wrong??? I got messaged the other day to explain that English mustn’t be my first language because I use “smol” instead of “small.” 😂😂
ASDFJKL I’m having a slight existential crisis now (kind of like that time I realized that I hadn’t experienced anything and therefore could not write and therefore had no future and then realized I was experiencing an existential crisis and therefore was experiencing something) Because ThErE iS nO RiGhT AnSwEr.
You told us to be shiny dragons though, so I approve this message. xD
Daisy recently posted…THE BATCAVE (Room Tour + NaNo Excerpts!!)
NO RIGHT ANSWERS ARE TO BE FOUND HERE. Just cake crumbs and vague existential screeching.
I’ve written nearly 400 reviews, and I still have no idea what I’m doing, and hardly anybody reads them. I have been told that my opinion is wrong several times. I just kinda laughed and wrote another review. The review writing never ends.
Aj @ Read All The Things! recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Harry Potter Presidents
RELATABLE. I have thousands of reviews on goodreads and like…how do you review.😂 It’s just so RIDICULOUS when people are like “your opinion is wrong” because like…who gets to say whose opinion is worth more? Like what planet are their brains functioning on?😂
I loved this post so much!
I’m really glad you liked it!!😂
Frankly, what I’m looking forward to the most about being an author is getting to wear the beekeepers outfit and stay away from my readers. Is there some author initiation where I get the suit or will I be buying it with my own funds? These are the important questions….
Honestly I think publishers should provide it. Either that or we can hand-make them from papermache moistened with our tears? I’m working on mine already.
I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND A BLOG POST LIKE THIS FOR MANY CENTURIES. I’ve been going back and forth trying to decide whether or not I wanted to start posting reviews on a blog, and even getting a blog started, or even getting a bookstagram started, buuut there’s so much that goes behind it and my poor little heart can’t take all of it without wanting to chop all my fingers off. Aaanyway, thank you!!! This post helps me out a lot and it’s a great post to go back to whenever I need a good chortle or inspiration/motivation/encouragement/other synonyms to start my blog!!! Thaaank you so much, Cait!
Omg I’m glad it was actually helpful!😂 I’m just poking fun at EVERYTHING hhahah. But the biggest thing about reviewing is: do it in a way that you enjoy!!
Unfortunately my mother will not let me get a book blog. Thanks for the tips when I do! Those book puns though..
Emmy
Aww, I hope you get to blog one day! It’s a lot of fun.😂
OMG! This was just too, too great and exactly how I feel. Every time I read more rules for reviews i put them on my list. Ack! I try. I really do. Ty for making sense of it all. 😉
I’m glad you liked it!!😂 We need to just toss all the rules and review however we want!
Hahahaha this was hilarious. At first I was like perfect, I need these tips, and as i got farther and farther down the post….
Not helpful at all(thanks a lot) but hilarious lolol
Bahhahha, c’mon, this is me!! Have I ever written a helpful post before?!😂
I’m dying. There is no perfect rating. We are all failures. Let’s give up, go home, and eat chocolate. As for reviewing books that have just come out, ha. Ha ha. Ha. My last (sort of) review was for Dracula.
I never really bothered looking at reviewing rules. This is my tiny internet space and I will do what I want in it! (I say as I agonise over how not to sound too harsh, too geeky, too judgemental, too opinionated…).
Ivyclad Ideas recently posted…I’m Two!
I LIKE YOUR PLAN. The chocolate part particularly. Like can we do that for everything in life? It seems like a good idea.😂
CAIT UGH your posts are soo good ahahah, and never ever fail to make me smile (or hungry but that’s irrelevant (ahah just kidding food is always relevant)). #lovedthis #qualitycontent #iwantfood
Lexie x
http://www.whatlexieloves.blogspot.com
Lexie recently posted…Goodbye, Perfect (written by one of my fav authors!) | book review
I’M REALLY GLAD YOU LIKED THEM. Laughter and food, that’s what we’re about here.😂
I love this post! So hilarious and true. I generally love to review books, mostly for myself though so I can look back at it and see what I thought of a book because I have a crappy memory. I also love to spread the joy of reading if possible 🙂 But mostly because my memory sucks. It’s why I write a review shortly after I finish reading a book.
I always, always wonder “how am I going to write this review” but once I get started 90% of the time I end up not knowing how to shut up lol. Or I end up loving a book and all I can think of to say is/want to shout “this is book is awesome, READ IT” XD
That’s why I review too! If I don’t, I just forget what I’ve read like 2 seconds later.😂 Actually I still forget, but aT LEAST I TRY. (I’m generally plotting how I’m going to review the book while I’m reading haha.)
This was SO funny and entertaining and yes, a little confusing BUT thank you because it made me smile. 🙂
I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT.😂
Was this not supposed to make that much sense? Because it made sense to me. 😆
It’s the most sensible post I’ve ever written.😂
Reviews kill me! I can’t do them mainly because I don’t know what to say without ruining the book. However this totally helped me because I’ve thought most of these things at some point, its probably why I have under 5 reviews on my blog *cries*
IMPORTANT QUESTION – Are you planning on wearing a beekeeper outfit when your book releases or you know, are you sat in one now mentally preparing?
Love your posts, always put a smile on my face x
It’s really hard to do them!! I tend to feel like I give too much away?!? BUT I CAN’T SHUT UP. I WRITE TOO MUCH IN MY REVIEWS.😂
And dude, yes. I will be wearing a beekeeper outfit and also leaving to live in Antartica in June.
This post is hilarious, I love all the contradictions, my favorite was to be yourself and agree with everyone too. xD
I’ve never written a book review, I can’t decide if I want to try it or not…Well, it’s NaNo season, so definitely not now!
I will just try to write a book that other people can review and give it one star and tweet it at me cuz I’ll probably self-publish something silly just to try it out.
Yeah, I should do that.
I’m glad you liked it!!😂 I’M JUST BEING A BIT EVIL HERE TODAY HAHA. But I actually DO enjoy writing my thoughts out on books! So I totally say try it if you like. 😉
I CAME HERE BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH MEH BOOKS. But it’s ok I had a laugh instead. Anyways, I was actually just looking at my past reviews, and I have only rated one book one star. Which like. wow I clearly just don’t hate things enough haha. And also I always always forget about Amazon.
Valerie recently posted…Disappointing Reads of 2017
NOPE, VALERIE, COME ON. IF I END UP BEING HELPFUL FOR REAL, THE WORLD HAS PROBABLY ENDED.😂 And hey it’s fine if you don’t rate low! I think we should just do whatever the heck we want. (Also who remembers to put stuff up on Amazon really!?)😂
HA I love this because seriously. I used to try to listen to all the “rules”, when I first started out. But then yeah, my mind read like your post! Every person has different “rules”, so my new rule is to just do whatever I feel like doing. Because yeah someone is always going to think you’re wrong. Only… they are, because how is my opinion “wrong”? Spoiler: It isn’t. Jerks. I honestly don’t know HOW you deal with all the trolls. I had like, ONE troll once and I basically sat around defending my opinion until they got bored and went away. I also laughed out loud about the 2 people reading reviews thing. So true hahhaha. Also, I will never stop using GIFs because I love them.
Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight recently posted…Top 8 Books With Aliens that are NOT Science Fiction: Guest Post by Cat Jordan
I’m glad you liked it!😂I was a bit facetious here.😂BUT ALL IN GOOD FUN. Honestly it’s ridiculous trying to please everyone so we just gotta do what makes us happy, right?! I actually get less trolls than I did last year. WOW 2016 was fun. And I’m less devastated by it now. I keep suggesting people go have a snack because they’re obviously hangry.
USE ALL THE GIFS IF YOU WANT!!
I saw the title in my inbox and thought “YAY this will be handy!!” And then… it was a tongue-in-cheek look at the pitfalls and dark corners of book reviewing and Goodreads in particular? Which IS handy! … but also confusing. And scary enough that I’m glad hardly anyone reads my reviews xD
Jem Jones recently posted…Beautiful Books part 2: NaNo update
HAHHHHHH. IMAGINE ME BEING ACTUALLY HELPFUL.😂 That’s when we know the world has ended.😂
Haha, this is brilliant. And this also reminds me that I have not reviewed a book in what feels like FOREVER. (after NaNo is done, I will… I PROMISE.) Honestly, book reviewing is HARD. Especially for the books that are absolutely hands-down breathtaking, because everything I write just feels so inadequate. And you’re right—there absolutely NO one way to do it. Everyone has vastly different opinions on how to blog/review books, so I think the most important thing is just to review how it makes you happy. 🙂
Kara recently posted…NaNoWriMo: Week One (+ Beautiful Books Link-Up!)
Reviewing is hard!! Especially when you’re trying to please everyone, right?! GAH. It’s better just to review in a way that feels pleasing and right to ourselves and have fun with it.😂
Omc, this was hilarious! Very Jekyll and Hyde, you.
Meh.. I follow my own ‘rules’. I feel it’s an organic process unique to each reviewer. For myself, I don’t give 1 or 2 stars. I may post what I did and didn’t like about these books, but no formal starred rating. If possible, I try to reach out with private constructive criticism. It’s how I would like to be treated in turn, which I know is unlikely, but hey.
Ps- I stoled yer ‘book review’ graphic 😆😄
Julianna Aislynn d’Merricksson recently posted…Book Review: HEX by Thomas Olde Heuvelt
I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!😂 And honestly I think everyone should just review how they want?! It seems like such a loaded occupation, but it’s JUST A REVIEW.😂
Lots of great tips here! You’re always so helpful, Cait ^_^ And hilarious and not-so-secretly a dragon haha
Happy Reading,
~Brittany @ Brittany’s Book Rambles
I’M SO HELPFUL I KNOW. 😂😂😂
Ha! this made me laugh
I feel like my reviews are wither very analytical, “tl/dr” type of affairs…
or barely anything “omg I love this!”…
nothing in between lol
Anne with an e recently posted…Books are Better Than People
As long as we’re having fun with our reviews, that’s what’s important, right?!😂
You are so humourous, i like you so much😍
I’m so glad you enjoyed it!😂
Bwahahha I love these posts of yours Cait!
Jeann @ Happy Indulgence recently posted…Renegades Review: Superheroes and Villains with (Not So) Secret Identities
YAYYY I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT.😂 I had fun with this!
HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT APPLE STRUDELS??? 😱
Also, I’m dead. “Have like a small rucksack full of tangerines and spare socks because you will leave the country directly after this.” 😂😂😂 Please contact my loved ones and tell them I’ve moved on. I’ll be spending my time in the afterlife wondering how Amazon feels.
And I love writing reviews!! Heck, that’s why I started a book blog in the first place. I needed a safe space to do some flailing and, hopefully *crosses fingers* find others to flail about books with. People always say that review posts get the least amount of love, which I’ve generally found to be true, but I love writing and reading book reviews. IT FEEDS MY SOUL!! Seeing other like-minded people review has also helped in narrowing down my tbr mountain a little.
HA HA JUST KIDDING LIKE THAT WILL EVER GO DOWN.
Loretta @ The Laughing Listener recently posted…8 Books I Scored at a Library Book Sale
WE HAVE TO RUN AWAY, LORETTA. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO SURVIVE. 😂 And I think none of us take enough time to say “what would Amazon do” in our every day lives obviously. *shakes head sadly*
😂
And I’m the same though! I don’t even care if my reviews get half the views, I STILL LOVE DOING THEM. I would forget everything I read if I didn’t review it!!
Not only have I been told my reviews are wrong, I’ve even been told my Goodreads status updates are wrong. I mean, I haven’t even made up my mind about the book, but someone’s already made up their mind about my opinion? Seems fair.
My favourite is when you don’t like a book and someone tells you to read it again. Um… I didn’t like it. Why on earth would I want to read it again? Will I magically love it the second time around? I don’t think so.
La Coccinelle @ The Ladybug Reads… recently posted…Review – The Pocketbook of Sunshine and Rain
Omg I’ve been told that too!! WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE?!? Like yeah I hated it the first time, I’m sure all my frustrated feelings will just VANISH the second time I read it. *facepalm* I do not understand humans.
Oh my goodnesss, CAIT IT’S LIKE YOU’VE READ MY MIND 😀
I like literally JUST opened a thread on goodreads with “HALP how to write a proper review cause i’m having a review crisis now” XD
But I LOOOOVE this post!! <333 Also, this:
"You can also tweet or instagram your review. Most people will see your post and say “wow what did you think!” which is a great question that you didn’t just answer in the caption of your instagram post that they didn’t read."
SOO TRUEEE and got me cracking up XDD
And I'm really inspired to write reviews now and why did I never think of adding bookstagram pictures in my reviews?? AMAzing idea Cait!! 😀
Oh, and to answer your question (of course I got way too excited and clicked “post comment” too early lol XD):
I have been kind of judged on one of my reviews, which was on one really popular at the time and I dnf’ed it cause I just wasn’t feeling it… I gave it 1 star, which is my basic rating for dnf’ed books (YES I know I’m THAT cruel, but I don’t steal cupcakes from babies oh my gawd how could I lol) And then people disagreed and said I had to give the book another try, but I’m completely sure the book just wasn’t my cup of tea 🙁
Omg I HATE when people are like “no you have to try it again”…like why would we like it better the second time!?? I think it’s insulting to be told we don’t know our own interests!! SO yes I’ve been told that too and it annoys me so bad.😭😂
hahaha 🙂 this post was so funny! I would be reading it and you’d be like don’t rate a book 1 star and then two lines down you’d be like rate a book 1 star (in bolded caps of course). You contradicted yourself so much that you perfectly captured everything us book bloggers are thinking when we write book reviews! Great post as always!
That’s exactly what the post was supposed to be!! 😂 A like parody kind of, with all the contradictions.😂
Lovely lovely lovely! Yep this sums up pretty much the exact process I go through every time I write a review. Will absolutely be showing this to people who think it’s easy…
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I’m so glad you liked it.😂😂 We reviewers SUFFER A LOT. SOMEONE AWARD US.
I pretty much never intend to write reviews, but sometimes I finish a book and want to share what I’m thinking about it. My family looks at me oddly when I do so, so instead I write it all down on Goodreads, or my blog. How do I choose which? No idea. Why don’t I just post to both? See above. I LOVE this post, in other words, because every once in awhile I need that affirmation that when you do something for fun, you get to be in charge of how you do it.
Omg I LOVE posting to Goodraeds though.😂 I always post to goodreads first and it’s just like my wild first-thoughts, and then if it gets over to my blog, I’ll try and make it a bit more sensible.😂
But YES. We’re doing this for ourselves so it should be fun.
As always, your posts make me LOL, Cait! Seriously!
Fortunately for me, no one has actually come out and said (or typed) that my views are wrong. At least, not to my face. It may also be because I hardly post meh books because what do you say when the books are meh? sigh*
I also don’t include a lot of visuals, but I try to break my reviews with captions so it’s not all a blob of text… I still bow at the altar of the dragons that can review with gifs! #crazy!
Zeee @ I Heart Romance & YA recently posted…Duke of Desire by Elizabeth Hoyt Book Review
Ahhh I’m glad you liked it!!😂I had a lot of fun with this post of nonsense hahaha.
OH GOD THE TRUTH, IT HURTS. I need to step up my review game. I find it hard because I’m Canadian and tend to like EVERYTHING. Which is not bad, per se, it just means I have to figure out how to critique things in a way that’s interesting to people, and not just “UH IT WAS GOOD I HAD FUN READING IT K BAIIII.”
Also, yes, a thousand fiery deaths for those Goodreads reviews that are 98% gif and 2% actual written content. WE GET IT, YOU LIKE GIPHY.
Hahah, oh reviewing can be hard when you love lots of stuff.😂 But don’t be afraid to be super positive! I know a lot of us (*coughs at self*) are super picky reviews, so you balance the cynical ones of us out.😂
um, is it alright to post your reviews to BOTH your goodreads account and your blog?
Of course! You can post your reviews where ever you want.
You are so hilarious! I can’t stop reading your wonderful voice in the posts!
BTW, I’m also afraid of giving 1 star. It is so… so cruel, isn’t it?
I’m glad you liked the post!!😂 And haha, no give 1-stars if you want! I do.😂
I just read all the way to the bottom because I loved your How to Write the Perfect Book Review!!! Kudos!
I’m so glad you liked it! 😂😂
Oh my gosh, Cait, the post had me cracking up SO hard!!
For the most part I really like writing reviews, but some books are just so hard to review. Like, I don’t have more than two sentences to say about this book, or all I want to do is scream at you to read it. I don’t want to be coherent, and actually explain what I liked about the book.
I’m totally not at all reading blog posts while I procrastinate writing reviews right now. Nope, not at all.
I’M SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT!! 😂 I had a lot of fun writing this haha. But some books ARE ridiculously hard to review!? Like some books I can go on forever and others I’m like “it was good go read it idk what else to say”😂
haha i love this so much. i always am afraid of tagging authors online because i’m afraid they’ll actually see it and then i will hyperventilate and die of excitement.
also, WHEN IS YOUR COVER COMING OUT ON GOODREADS??! i’m like ssSUPER excited to see it!!
Aww thanks, Katie! SO glad you enjoyed it! (And tbh I never talk to authors either because #shy.😂)
Ahhh, I’m not sure when the cover reveal will be BUT I HAVE SEEN A DRAFT AND HOLY HECK I LOVE IT. 😍😍😍
This post was a riot form start to finish! I loved it! Nice going! (but you always go nicely! Your posts are great for that, I love ’em) Also I am glad to know that I have begun writing (and hopefully will continue to do) my reviews fairly well, so thanks a nonillion for this post (do you have cake to spare? ‘Cause you made me a *little bit* hungry with all that talk of dessert…)
I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT.😂😂 I definitely had a lot of wild fun with this haaaaaha. Sometimes you just have to be a bit sarcastic.😂
Yes to sarcasm! Sometimes it IS necessary! (though, I practically live being sarcastic 99.9% of the time so in my case an absence of it is necessary. . . ?)
Strangely enough, I don’t really care about those pesky rules. I never did. I have been told I’m wrong though, a few times. How did I take it? Well, I laughed. Because I’m not wrong with how I’m feeling about a book. If I liked it, I liked it, if I didn’t then I didn’t. There’s no right or wrong there. I do wish people would stop pointing out the errors in someone’s review UNLESS the reviewer a) reviewed a completely different book (it might happen, you never know) or b) they’re mainly bashing the author without discussing the story itself (in which case come on, you’re supposed to talk about the book not write an author biography). As for other rules…Look, I’ve been writing reviews for more than 7 years and I still don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve changed my reviewing style so many times it’s almost embarrassing.
Ruby @ Ruby’s Books recently posted…Book Review: Wolf At The Door by Hailey Edwards
GOOD ON YOU.😂 I used to try and follow ALL the rules…all at once.😂 So you can imagine how that owrked out for me. hahahah. Ahem.
I have actually written a negative review and then had someone come and “agree” with me, but spend their whole comment bashing the author! And that was like: not on. I mean let’s not like a book, but it doesn’t make the author trash?!? We need to be nice!
I find reviewing horribly painful, but love your reviews. They’re fresh, honest and hysterical. My pet peeve is reviewers who write 3 paragraphs of synopsis before they get down to the review. I can read the ruddy synopsis on the book page. When you’re scrolling down to read multiple reviews and the first 5 have a lengthy synopsis, I just want to scream and throw a watermelon at them.
Aww THANK YOU!! That means a lot to me because I try really hard to make them fun. and haha. I agree though…I’m interested in a reviewer’s OPINION, not a recap of the book!
The most truest post of ever, lol. Writing book reviews… I love doing it, but I basically have to figure out how all over again with every book. because not only is there ^^^ all of that to consider, but sometimes different books demand a different review style (at least in my experience). It’s a crazy ride, but at least it’s fun!
Alexa
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Alexa recently posted…Posts of the Week! Epic End-of-the-Year 2017 Edition
Yes absolutely! It’s madness but WORTH IT.😂
I love you! You are pure Loki-blessed chaos in a good, happy, fun way, and your posts always cheer me up. So thanks for that. I needed it today. 💞
I’m so glad you enjoyed this!😂
This is soooo funny! Enjoyed reading this *nonsense*. Also, I don’t like cake. But that’s OK ;p I love writing book reviews so much!!!!
WHAT YOU DON’T LIKE CAKE! *gasps* 😂 Just kidding! I’m glad you enjoyed the post!
Hahaha this seriously made my day! Really great and funny post!
I’m so glad you liked it! 😂😂