So I started off 2020…wildly.
I laugh so I don’t cry honestly. ๐ I haven’t even done a wrap up post since Octoberย last year, but you know what they say about time — it likes to fly and smack you in the face and get feathers in your mouth. (Go with this metaphor. It aptly describes my mental state also.) I am a little stressed by 2020 so far because it was going to be MY YEAR and so far it has been…not my year. But you know? I’m fine. ๐ I have read many good books, collected even more, and tried to be chill amongst the mess.
Things I’ve Been Up To:
- The most important thing here is that I have salted caramel chocolate in my possession and I am eating it and it is good.
- So the bad news? My dog, Atticus, got extremely sick this month. Actually, right on my birthday we took him to the vet for vomiting bile and…diagnosis came a week later (which really sucks because he might not have gotten so bad if the vet had diagnosed him on time) but he has pancreatitis and liver failure. He’s a small dog, it’s not uncommon. It is very horrible though, and very expensive to treat, and I basically just spent 2 weeks freaking out of my mind he was going to die. He ended up hospitalised for a while, on a drip and everything. But he’s home. ๐ฅบ He’s recuperating slowly slowly. I bought him some toys for when he’s better and he STOLE them off my desk so I consider that a good sign. He’s on a strict medical diet though and it’s a battle to get him to eat. I just want my baby to be okay…so it’s been hard.
- I have AGED 9 YEARS. ๐ญ
- Also you probably heard of the Australian Fires that have been absolutely destroying my country. Things are a bit better now, with rain helping. But it’s just a sickening tragedy. (I was not personally near; although there were days the smoke was so thick outside, you just felt ill breathing.) I mean, they could smell the smoke FROM NEW ZEALAND. It is so so bad.
- My author life is also stressing me out, but like ๐ at least that’s consistent.
- At least I read a lot of books? My TBR is deliciously tall and full right now and I’m excited.
- My sister got me the Game of Thrones Monopoly for Christmas and I discovered I’m a Hufflepuff who doesn’t like charging people and taking all their money. I just want us to be happy as we go round the board. ๐ฅบ
- (Shh, no I am a Slytherin, it’s true I’m sure.)
- I watched one episode of The Witcher and I quite liked it! Will watch more! Probably will even watch the whole show in my excruciatingly slowly way and finish in 2022!
- I also become a permanent rep for FairyLoot! SO FREAKING EXCITED. If you want to try one of their book boxes, you can use “FURY5” for a discount!
- And I finally bought a new iPod!! This one doesn’t shut down on me when I try to use apps so that’s super nice.
- It’s also been. so. hot in Australia and it’s zapped my motivation and even my will to cook. Which is so sad. I just want to sleeeeep in an icicle.
- I also did a long post about the future of Paper Fury as a blog, because I’m struggling here. And then, of course, once I got all hyped and encouraged by your amazing comments (!!!) my…dog got sick and I didn’t blog. ๐ ๐ I’m back to slumping, hi!! But THANK YOU to everyone who said such nice things. It truly warmed my heart. Iย still don’t fully know what I’ll do. Probably just try to do two posts a week. More things have cropped up to sour my old love of blogging (not your fault….I am just sad at ways I’ve been treated since my books came out), so I have to face that if I’m blogging, it will end up looking different. I am awkwardly soft and unsure about fitting my author-self into a book-blogger-self because of the clashes, but I’d like to just quietly keep doing my thing. Thank you for still reading. ๐ Appreciate it, always.
I actually have nothing to report but continued existential writing dread. It is fun. For sure. ๐๐ I vaguely am plotting a new contemporary that may sneak into the thriller area and I’ve been so obsessed with reading epic fantasy lately that I just want to wriiiiiite it. I am also stressed, which is not new, but someday I hopefully will have good things to report here!
- Also I can’t remember if I’ve said it on the blog, but The Boy Who Steals Houses was nominated for a Carnegie Medal!! No idea if it’ll get shortlisted, but a nomination? HUGE. SO GRATEFUL.
- Reminder that it will be available to buy in the USA, in June 2020.
- Also ICYMI there’s a free TBWSH Christmas short story on my blog!
I have no idea what I’ve acquired since last October when I did a haul. So I’ll just vaguely mention books here and hope for the best. I have been super blessed by publishers and book boxes lately, which isย incredible. And also had a bunch of preorders arrive to light up my life. ๐ Do I read enough to keep up with this? No. Please help.
(all covers link to goodreads)
BOOKS BOUGHTโฆ
From library
FOR REVIEW…
Vote and help meeeee!

Here are my reading highlights of January!
Only Mostly Devastated /ย Oh I totally adored this! SO CUTE, but also really heartfelt and sad at times. It’s about being closeted how hard that is, plus how you can be toxic when you’re in pain and how to confront that. But also sososo cute. ๐ฅบEasily a perfect 5-star read.
A Heart So Fierce And Broken / this was intense and confronting and not what I expected. the narrative massively flipped and the book feels like a betrayal BUT I think it’s tackling the nuance of PTSD and villain origin/toxic masculinity stories well.
One Of Us Is Next / the sequel to One Of Us Is Lying! Which…I didn’t love. BUT I LOVED THE SEQUEL!! So so obsessed. The characters were amazing so I 100% cared about everything. The twists at the end were so terrible in the best way!
Taking Down Evelyn Tait / I had the absolute privilege of reading this early AND ENDORSING IT!! That’s an author first for me and I’m so honoured! It’s a beautiful #LoveOZYA contemporary with the best emphasis on messy/broken families + humour and the cutest romance.
Technically You Started It / This was really fun and cute! It’s told entirely in text messages and it has demisexual and bi rep (really enjoyed reading that). It was aย bit hard to get to know the characters, since it was just texts, but it was also fun and fast to read!
The Foxhole Court trilogy / I reread all three books this month because am living mY BEST LIFE HERE. I just basically count down till when I can reread again. Am I trash for my foxes? Yes. ๐They are so damaged and I love the found-family, the broken friendships, the defiance and fight for hope. Also disaster gays. ๐๐ป
The Ten Thousand Doors of January / I saved this specifically to read in January because I’m just like that. It’s like adult literary fantasy and it wasย so beautiful. I finished it and just wanted to write like that!! The emphasis is on plot instead of characters, so I kind of didn’t like anyone. But the worlds within worlds and the Door magic were amazing. It’s such a love letter to stories.
Clockwork Angel / another reread! I wanted to reread TID in preparation for Chain of Gold…but while I do love the Shadowhunters as a whole, I’m just so annoyed and over Will’s toxic behaviour that everyone somehow thinks is hot. And I GET characters with tragic backstories leading to toxic traits (see: The Foxhole Court), but Will’s is because of a dumb miscommunication? argh. I’m just annoyed and I didn’t enjoy the reread as much as I wanted to. I LOVE JEM.
Other Books I read
| WHAT DO YOU THINK |
has the year started off well for you? stressful? positive? ๐tell me what your first 2020 read was and did you like it! also what’s new to your TBR pile?
Wow, you seemed to have had a really intense month, fingers crossed that February is a little easier and your pupper feels a lot better soon!
I have A Heart So Fierce And Broken on my list and I honestly cannot wait to get to it! I have also heard really good things about One Of Us Is Next but I haven’t read the first one yet so that might have to wait!
Yes argh I’m hoping February is a better time. But YAY I hope you get to read One Of Us Is Next because I’m lowkey obsessed.
I’m so sorry about Atticus. I definitely know what it’s like to have health scares (with dogs and people) and it’s awful. I really hope that he gets better soon.
2020 has been pretty stressful so far, but not all bad. It’s definitely had its bright spots! I’ve had a lot more time for reading and I’ve read some great books already. I’ve just discovered Kate Forsyth’s books and I’m in love with her style so I’ve added all her books to my TBR. I’m also hoping to add some more epic fantasy this year!
I hope your 2020 gets better than it has been so far ๐
Ahh your 2020 reading year seems to be going well and YAY for more epic fantasy! It’s my goal to read more of it too and be less scared of the massive books ๐ (And I’m so relieved Atticus is improving!!)
Oh no! I’m sorry to hear your dog’s been unwell. ๐ Hope he’s feeling better now.
February crept up on me (somehow, despite the fact that I’ve been watching it approach all week) so I’m writing my wrap-up now before I start editing. I know it’s a marathon, not a sprint, but… I wish editing was going quicker. I feel so unproductive. ๐
He’s definitely recouping better now and I’m SO relieved. Ahh. He’s such a little disagreeable thing, but I love him. And I hope your editing goes well. It’s always hard when it takes a long time!
Sorry your dog is sick. I hope heโs able to recover quickly. I know how stressful it is to have a sick dog. Theyโre good at hiding symptoms, so I tend to stare at them and freak out about every little thing. Itโs not fun.
Definitely so so stressful, but I’m so relieved he’s recovering now!!
OHHH, POOR ATTICUS!!!! So glad to hear he’s on the mend!
๐ญ yeah it was super scary but I’m SO relieved he’s recovering.
I hope Atticus will feel better soon, it is super scary when our animals are sick. I read Technically, You Started It in January too and I liked it. I read it because of the demisexual rep, as I’m demisexual and there aren’t a lot of books with demisexual rep out there. Anyway, I enjoyed reading it. My first read of January was Fruits Basket Collector’s Edition Volume 9 (original volumes 17 & 18). My favourite read in January was Jemima Small versus the Universe, which is a middle-grade book about a girl who is funny and smart and fat/big. She gets bullied at school because of her size. I loved the message of this book. Nice to read another blog post from you!
I definitely wish there were more books with demi/ace rep too, it’s such an important identity to be in books and we don’t see enough. Ah. But I’m glad you’ve started off January with good books!!
Wow. So many read books! I’m looking forward to get my hands on some of them. ๐
2020 will be a year for good books! ๐
The year has started off pretty good for me, I’m in South Africa at the moment, getting more experience working in Journalism and it’s been great so far. I do worry about my blog’s stats getting low while I’m gone and only have pre scheduled Top Ten Tuesdays on there but I figure I’ve done this for six years now, I deserve a break. I went on safari last weekend and saw loads of cool animals, lions and elephants and rhino and all sorts, it was so amazing to see them roaming free and not behind cages! My first 2020 read was Crossfire and I liked it but ngl it was a bit of a let down after loving the previous Noughts and Crosses books so much as a kid! My TBR pile is actually somewhat stagnant at the moment, I have limited WiFi out here (i.e. only at work) so I haven’t been keeping up with Book Twitter as much as usual!
Oh wow that’s amazing your travelling!! I hope everything goes so well for you. And yeah it’s hard to be busy and have the blog be neglected, but I guess not every stage in life can be the same, right? I hope you enjoy what you’re doing while you get a chance to do it!
I hope February will be better for you!
I am always so amazed by the number of books you read. ๐ฎ Eat some cake between each reading session please~
I wonder how you put this little Goodreads reading challenge icon. Is it someโฆ code? A “share link”? (I searched that last one and didn’t find anything.) HOW DO YOU DO IT? I want to put the same on my blogโฆ
Oh I just screenshot it from the GR page! Nothing fancy! (Or if you mean the widget in my sidebar? Then there is a code, you just find it in settings under “widgets”.)
And definitely need cake!
Thank you for your answer, I always wondered! Thanks to you it’s now on my blog ๐
I’m so glad your dog is doing better Cait!! Please take your time with the blogging stuffโI’m sure whatever content you’re able to put out will be amazing and it’s totally understandable to need to prioritize other things.
Also, I’m so glad you enjoyed Only Mostly Devastated! That one’s been on my radar for a while and I’m so excited to pick it up once it releases next month. Also can’t wait for Yes No Maybe So since I love Becky Albertalli and I’ve heard great things about Aisha Saeed.
Hope you have a great February!
Only Mostly Devastated was the PERFECT start to the year for me ๐๐ (and omg thank you ๐)
Oh no, I hope your dog feels better soon! Poor little guy. ๐ I hope you enjoy all the books you got!
He’s definitely improving! So relieved!!
Oh my gosh, your dog looks so cute! I am so sorry about what happened to him. I read Technically, You Started It last year and I really enjoyed it. I can’t wait to read The Gravity Of Us, it sounds so good! I desperately need more queer books in my life. I also desperately need to stop starting almost all of my sentences with I !
He is SO CUTE and getting back to being his good old ratbag self so I am happy! And Ah I hope you like Gravity of Us. We definitely need maximum queer books on our shelves. ๐
I’m glad Atticus is doing better. My dog also had pancreatitis recently so I relate altho they caught it early so he only had to do a couple days of treatments and a permanent lowfat diet…also the Witcher is so good; you will enjoy the rest of it when you get to it!
I’m so glad your dog is okay and the diagnosed it early enough. Such a relief!! It’s really awful seeing them suffer. ๐ญ And it’s really hard keeping them on such a strict diet right? But I’d rather he be annoyed at me than sick so!
Well I definitely didn’t read as many books as I’d planned to in January . . . or get rid of my backlog . . . or improve my ratio on Netgalley . . . but there’s always February, right?! Although February I’m back in school so . . . who knows, relaly. My first 2020 read was the 5th Harry Potter book, which I did enjoy a lot! and I’ve also read The Beekeeper’s Apprentice (A Sherlock Holmes retelling) that’s a new favorite. I’m currently in a reading slump though because I just finished rereading one of my favorite books and am in kind of a book hangover? So that’s fun.
I’m so glad to hear Atticus is doing better!! I kept up on updates on Instagram, and I’m glad to hear that he is home and doing well. ๐
Hope you have a great February!
We can definitely say February will be the month we do things ๐๐๐ป and if not…March…OR NOVEMBER. OR 2025. *naps for the rest of the year* ๐And hangovers are the worst, right?! It’s such punishment for reading a good book.๐
Hope february is good for you too!!
Oh no! I’m so sorry that this year started out so terribly for you- I wish Atticus have a speedy recovery! I can’t imagine how scary and stressful that must’ve been ๐
Definitely awfully stressful but I’m confident he’s going to make a good recovery now!! He’s starting to eat properly and be a ratbag, ๐๐ which I am now very relieved about.
Hello !
First of all “I laugh so I don’t cry” is such a mood XD .
Second of all, sorry about Atticus, wishing him to get wel soon!
The first few days of 2020 had been really good and I almost thought “wow this New Year New Me thing is not complete crap!” and then my mental health went crashing down down down and I’ve been laughing/sobbing ever since x)
But I’ve managed to read 3 books! So I’m happy!
Days by James Lovegrove
Bird Box by Josh Malerman – this book left me Shaking I loved it so so much
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury – wanted to read it since forever and yay! I did!
Hope February will be good x)
Ahh thank you about Atticus! I feel really confident he’s going to get better ๐ Although he’s going to be on strict diets forever, so I’m sad for him, but gah, just want him well.
And hey 3 books is amazing (I want to read Bird Box someday) and I’m sorry for you with the mental health issues. Definitely know how that feels and it can be such a struggle.
Wait… it’s February? Hold up. I’m so sorry January was stressful for you. I hope you feel better this month.
I read a ridiculous amount of books for my usual because work has been slow, but I can’t complain. First book: Nothing but Sky. Favs: The Light at the Bottom of the World and 100 Days of Sunlight.
Oh I’m glad you liked Light At The Bottom of the World!! I need to read that one!!
I’m so sorry about your dog ๐ I hope he gets better soon! My fur baby just turned 13 and I would die if anything happened to her. Also, the way you manage to read so many books in a single, stressful month is beyond me. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s witchcraft, which I’m not mad about at all but would love to have your magic as well. I hope february is a better month for you!
omg 13yo is amazing!! I’m so glad your little pupper is doing well too. I just can’t even think of mine dying, you know?! It’s scary. But he’s definitely eating more and being a ratbag again so this is GOOD NEWS.๐
That’s amazing news about TBWSH!!!! Congrats on the nomination, and I’m so pumped it’s going to be published in the USA–now when I get at people to buy it they can actually do it without Book Depository!
I am SO STOKED it will be in the US ๐๐
I’m so sorry your dog got sick! That sounds so scary. Congrats on TBWSH getting nominated! That’s awesome! 2020 has been okay for me so far. Not awesome but not awful. I can’t remember what my first read of 2020 was, but I read 14 books in January and most of them were really good!
I’m so glad my pupper is doing better though! But AGH. So scary. And omg thank you for that about the nomination!! It’s still totally surreal?! Eep. I’m so glad you read some good books for January too ๐๐
CAIT I HAD ACTUAL ASH FALL ON MY ACTUAL HEAD IN ACTUAL NEW ZEALAND!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS HOW BAD THE FIRES ARE PEOPLE!!!
I hope you find your blogging mojo and get back into it again because I love your blog!
ALSO You shouldn’t read The Gravity of Us, it’s bad… send it to me instead!!! :-p
The fires were so freaking terrifying ๐ณ๐ณ I just wish people would start WAKING UP AND DOING SOMETHING ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE. Gah. But my heart mostly just breaks for the wildlife. We’ve ruined the land.
(I would totally send you Gravity of Us if postage wasn’t so expensive ๐ญ)
I’m so sorry to hear that about your fur baby! I’m sending both of you lots of love and healing vibes! <3
Also, totally with you on Witcher & Ten Thousand Doors. I haven't started Witcher yet, but it will likely be three seasons deep before I do so, and then it'll take me ages to actually get through it. And saved Ten Thousand Doors specifically because January was in the title, but wowza, I loved it.
I hope your February picks up a little!
Thank you!!๐I’m just so glad he’s on the mend now!!!
And gah yes I’m loving the Witcher the more I watch! Actually being consistent and watching an episode every few days. ๐
Just here to send you love ๐ Iโm sorry to hear about your puppy but itโs good that he has a loving family. And Iโm also sorry to hear about your struggles balancing author and book blogger… I wish our community was kinder to authors TBH, most of them are pretty swell.
It can be tricky figuring it all out tbh. I’m mostly just sad I’ve let down my blog/blogging friends by being so absent here. But definitely trying to keep up some sort of posting!! ๐
Omg Cait I swear you are insanely good at reading lots; ahh that sucks about your dog and I hope he gets better soon; I love salted caramel chocolate ahh I won some budget salted caramel at school last year and it still tasted awesome. There was this one day in January where I woke up and the sky was yellow, it took us ages to realise it was from Australia when the day only got darker; super crazy to think that some people are experiencing this on a daily basis because this was just on the one occasion but ahh I really hope the situation improves soon because it’s really heartbreaking.
The fires have been SCARY but gah, yes very glad I wasn’t too close and the smoke didn’t last too long. But thank you ๐๐ It’s good that the world knows what’s happening. ๐ญ
Salted caramel chocolate is DIVINE. I am such a fan.
I am so so sorry for your pupper and am glad that it looks like he’s on the path of recovery! Sneaky bugger stealing the toys like that.
and you know what? This year is still YOUR YEAR. It’s just getting all the bad shit out of the way so that it’s smooth sailing for the rest of the year. You’ll forget the definition of stressed by march for sure (or we can hope anyway)
The fires are awful. I’m in Aus too and also, thankfully, mostly unaffected. You’re right about the awful smoke but that’s nothing compared to some other people ๐ Hella sad about all the wildlife, even if they survived, food will be scarce and that makes me sad. Not sure if you saw but there was an article getting around about wombats that were ferreting other animals into their burrows to keep them safe and afjkdafh the freaking feels
Congratulations on the nomination!!! That’s awesome! ๐
I’m so glad he’s back to being devious ๐ GAH what a scare. And honestly I like your theory that all the bad stuff is coming up first and THEN it will be a good year. Going to keep that ๐๐
I’m so so glad you’re unaffected though by the fires. So scary right? My heart breaks for all the wildlife.
I’m sorry you’ve had such a stressful start to the year. Your poor Doggo, and poor you- I was stressed just reading that.
I’ve loved your blog since I first came across it and will continue to read it whatever direction it takes.
Also it looks like your reading has got off to a great start this year!
It was VERY stressful. I’ve never had a sick dog before…so I’m just glad he’s okay now, even though it was ridiculously stressful/hard getting him through this.
(And thank you for reading ๐๐ I haven’t been a very attentive blogger lately so I’m so grateful for people still reading!!)
I know I haven’t commented in 25 zillion years because I’ve completely fallen out of the blogging community myself BUT I just wanted to say I SUPPORT YOU and you are an inspiration. I cannot BELIEVE you got nommed for the Carnegie — that’s such a big deal in the UK, you should be so proud of yourself. If that doesn’t prove how fab you are as an authour I don’t know what does. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling burnout, stress, and mental health issues on top of all the life/dog/Oz issues.
You need to do you! Your blog will always be a treasure if you need to walk away for a bit or forever, and look 2 posts a week is flipping loads! Tell self doubt to f@ยฃ# itself! The people who matter will back your decision.
Also I’m so pissed hearing that you feel trapped between the negativity in the authour and blogger community, that sucks! There has been so much drama this year, it’s lovely to see people spread the love Other authours should be honoured you’re reaching out to them, how dare they ignore you!!!! This idea that you can’t straddle both worlds is so bullshit!! Keep going at it, you’ll find your authour tribe I’m sure. ๐
I went and read your post about the future of the blog, and let me said that, as a blogger but also someone who wants to be an author, I totally feel you. I know we aren’t close… but don’t know, this topic is very near to me so if you wish to talk, you can.
And your dog! I’m glad it’s feeling better and working throught it!
Seems like you had a very good reading January! I’m curious about Fae Hunter… not much for the plot but for the cover XD The art is just too good
Oh noo!! I’m sending all my love and good vibes to Atticus, I hope that he’s okay!! ๐๐
Yessss!! I am so excited for TBWSH to be published in the USA!! So far I’ve been lending my copy to every breathing bipedal creature that has had the misfortune of stumbling into my vicinity, and thus far it has worked! But when it gets published here, I can just *yell* at everyone within an even greater vicinity to go buy it and read it!
I’m so happy that you liked Only Mostly Devastated! I got it from Netgalley, and am planning on reading it soon, and hearing that you loved it is making me even more excited! Hope you have a great February!!
Wellllll I am no 17 books ahead, but I feel like I’m off to a good start, reading-wise. ๐คช I am so sad to hear about your poor pupper. I hope he continues to be on the mend. โค๏ธ I am also distressed to hear about your struggle to blog and author at the same time. I love your blog, and will ALWAYS read it, no matter what may change. Your writing style just plasters a smile on my face every single time. Also, please do continue The Witcher. Such amazing! High recommends! Henry Cavill’s butt chin steals the show. ๐ Well wishes, Cait! โค๏ธโค๏ธ
Aww, so sorry to hear about Atticus, I hope he’s recovering well! <3 That's so scary and stressful. You've had quite the month! Sending hugs and chocolate your way. <3
I am! So late! But I’m desperately trying to catch up on emails ๐
My girl you are amazing I can’t believe you are dealing with all of this stuff at once. I’m so sorry to hear about your dog (even though I’m a mONTH LATE *glares at self*)
But yes. Salted caramel chocolate is YUMMY. Eat lots. (10/10 on healthy life advice ๐)