‘Tis the season of mini reviews!
Actually tis the season for salt, so I’m squashing my salty reviews together to save irritating rants. But as a permanently continual reminder — my reviews aren’t tell you what to do…they’re just to introduce a book and if it piques your interest, GO FOR IT. I also flail like a wild mushroom over one of these books so, exciting.
Thanks to Hot Keys, Allen and Unwin, Bloomsbury, and Netgalley for the review-copies!
Also RANDOM but Society6 is having 25% off which is kind of freaking amazing!??! I have tons of designs up including writerly ones so you should 100% pre-reward yourself since NaNoWriMo is in 36 days.
Mug in the above photo is one of my designs!
OKAY I’M DONE. ONTO REVIEWS.
MY NAME IS VICTORIA BY LUCY WORSLEY
published June ||| ★★☆☆☆
Despite being about cool alternate-histories and queens this really…didn’t work for me. I don’t mesh with period-dramas. I just dooooon’t. And when a book stars a self-confessed BORING and PLAIN and AVERAGE girl then when am I supposed to care?! I have more emotions about cereal. Because I can eat it.
It basically follows the story of eleven-year-old princess Victoria who gets a playmate, Miss V. Miss V has the personality of a spoon and literally nothing happens in this book except talking, tea, a few carriage rides, everyone being subtly awful. I’m enthralled. Also over half the book is when Miss V is eleven, although she finishes up at 18, but the tone was really really young.
However the alternate-reality twists were cool! No spoilers, but it was a mind-bending ending. Although I have 0% what was real and what was alternate?!? I assume marrying your cousin was the real part.
Why must humans be like this.
VERDICT: A good book for people who enjoy period dramas with not a lot of drama but very nicely placed grammatical periods.
THE AMATEURS #2: FOLLOW ME BY SARA SHEPHERD
published October ||| ★★☆☆☆
Goodreads Publisher Review of Book #1
It’s time for some MURDER, JOHN. This is the sequel to The Amateurs which I read last year and promptly forgot 100% of what it was about. But this has a very satisfying summary on page (THANK THE BOOK HEAVENS) so I could keep up. However I rated the first book 2 stars and this was also…no. I find them too predictable and the stakes weirdly low or maybe I’ve watched too much Sherlock.
I also feel weird when these teens are tracking a suPER BAD MURDERER but they’re also worried about romance and being friendzoned. You know what you’re going to get? GRAVEZONED IF YOU DON’T PAY ATTENTION.
SMOL LIST OF DISGRUNTLED THINGS:
- there are so many characters and my brain maxes out at two people and this is why I’ve lost track of my family
- there are FIVE NARRATORS in a freaking 270pg book
- Madison and Aerin literally have no point to their chapters
- two characters are named MADISON and MADDOX and if you think I don’t get freaking confused then you are wrong, sir
- why are the police so incompetent in YA mysteries <— the true mystery
- where are the parents
- why doesn’t anyone eat
- the book is 90% tell tell tell and I was so detached due to all these info-dump conversations instead of actually witnessing ACTION.
However I liked getting more of the psychopath’s POV because that was interesting. Yes, shh, I’m a fine and normal person. And I confess I’m VERY interested to know what the psychopath’s endgame is and if these teenagers will die in the next book because no one is very competent. So very hooky.
ROYCE ROLLS BY MARGARET STOHL
published May ||| ★☆☆☆☆
I confess I’d rather eat a bucket than watch reality TV so this one didn’t work for me. (Might work for those who love reality TV though?!) And 100% thought the book was called ROLLS ROYCE because I am functional. #GoCait
WHAT DIDN’T WORK FOR ME:
- It’s a satire. So, like, yes let’s make fun of reality TV…but I don’t understand satires. If you like reality TV wouldn’t you find this offensive??? And if you hate it WHY ARE YOU READING THE BOOK? (oh wait…me)
- Didn’t really care about the characters. They’re also all named after cars. I couldn’t tell anyone apart.
- The two starring characters are Bent and Bach. Oh look, Cait can’t tell characters apart. AGAIN.
- They’re trying to get a S6 of their show. But what the heck did they put in the first 5 seasons?? These people don’t even do anything and none of them are remotely exciting. Just dramatic and OTT.
- Too many italics. When the books written with so many little emphasises, it just gets a little irritating after a while.
- So confused at the ending. I still…what.
- It was very slow. To the point where the first 100pgs is just them waiting to see if their show is renewed.
- And everyone was horrible. So maybe that was the point but I just fell out a window, goodbye.
BREAKING BY DANIELLE ROLLINS
published September ||| ★★☆☆☆
Goodreads Publisher Review of Book 1
This was just too flippant about suicide to be an enjoyable thriller. It’s a companion to Burning, but you can read it as a standalone. And it’s like…a baording school with a dash of SCI FI or PARANORMAL and who knows what else. It’s as surprise for us all.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK FOR ME:
- Oh a rich kids prep school? All the girls are going to be HORRIBLE AND HATE EACH OTHER. Obviously.
- The main character is so nice and unassuming. She calls herself boring I mean???? I obviously believe her and now am turned off?? WHY DO BOOKS DO THIS.
- Probably because she is Elle Fanning. I mean, look at that cover.
- The boarding school cliches were in abundance. We gotcha class full of random sociopaths and conspiracy theories and creepy teachers and THAT ONE SINGLE BOY EVERYONE LOVES and suicide for the “shock” and a dark woods were they all go get drunk.
- Lots of heavy topics = all glazed over. I am very unhappy with how the suicide theme was handled. Suicide is a huge, scary and complex topic and this is YA for freaking sakes. Please don’t treat it so flippantly and for “shocks”.
- Random animal cruelty.
- Again, no one eats. Why. I mean the tagline is “what makes this girl a monster” and I’m here like LOW BLOOD SUGAR PROBABLY?????
However I DO approve that it was proud to be feminine! And there was competitive fencing. Like with swords and not, um, fences to keep cows in or whatever. And I think a lot of the reason I was bored is that I’ve read a LOT and this felt overdone to me. I’ll just eat a bark chip here and sulk.
THE THINGS WE PROMISE BY J.C. BURKE
published March ||| ★☆☆☆☆
This was super problematic and depressing. I’m genuinely shocked/outraged at the storyline too??
I don’t think it was “unrealistic” but it used a lot of hugely bad tropes and I can’t SEE THE POINT OF THIS BOOK.
WHAT I’M FURIOUS ABOUT
- The language is super offensive. It’s set in the ’90s so I get it…but when you even have the protagonist justifying her problematic language because “she likes it and doesn’t see why it’s a problem” THEN YOU HAVE A NO FROM ME. (Ex. derogatory use of words like “schizo” and a sheer ton of slanderous names against lgbtqia+ people.)
- I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone on the lgbtqia+ spectrum. Which is ridiculous because it’s ABOUT that minority. It basically kills off, ends badly, or reduces every. single. lgbtqia+ character to a tragedy story. It’s about AIDS and while the deaths might not have been unrealistic, it is completely unnecessary to do this to 100% of a minority in your book. Seriously, if this book was about black people and everyone got shot in police violence, or about depression where every single mentally ill character committed suicide = IT WOULD NOT BE OKAY. It’s harmful and not appropriate.
- This is basically a queer tragedy for straight people. The levels of wrong, wow.
- Gemma cares about prom. Nothing else. I found it very hard not to stab her with a pincushion.
- It was also very slow. Not a lot happened except tragedy for all the minorities.
Now I got bawled out on Goodreads for this review so again: I’m not saying “this stuff doesn’t happen”. I’m saying the way it was WRITTEN was harmful and problematic. I felt so depressed finishing it and I actually cared a lot about some of the secondary characters so I found the book hard to put down. But like??? I wish I’d not picked it up.
THE DEFINITIONS OF INDEFINABLE THINGS BY WHITNEY TAYLOR
published April ||| ★★★★★
I’ve been so so depressing in this post so QUICK LOOK AT THIS BOOK THAT IS ABSOLUTELY UNFATHOMABLY AMAZING!!! This is one of my favourites of the year!!!! It’s about depression and it is like 10/10 accurate and respectful and bitter and funny and beautiful!
I think my heart just E X P L O D E D with good feelings for this book!!
It’s actually a really honestly brutal view of depression. Depression is different for everyone, but this was pretty relatable to me so that was special. It’s pretty gut-punching though because it deals with people who think depression is fake (“just be happier! you’ll feel better!”) and there’s no romanticised picnic here. But it’s also HOPEFUL and this is the kind of book we need, OK?? Also no “love cures all.” #Bless #This #Book
I adored both Snake and Reggie. They’re both bitter and pretentious and funny and sweet with hearts of gold underneath it. They are perfectly flawed???? And I love this??? There is a love triangle but it was so well done and AMAZING and I don’t even know myself anymore.
I totally didn’t expect to love this one so much. Pain. FEELS. Laugh-out-loud wit. It’s a really brittle and sometimes caustic view of depression and sometimes it’s a bit overly philosophical, but it was heckin’ special. I love this book OK go read it.
Oh my goodness, I feel so bad that these books turned out to be so awful… except for that one book which made it your YEARLY FAVORITES. Woohoo!
Also, can we just take a moment for this epic line :
“”Again, no one eats. Why. I mean the tagline is “what makes this girl a monster” and I’m here like LOW BLOOD SUGAR
PROBABLY?????”
That made me laugh out loud so hard!
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I’m so glad you appreciated that.😂😂 Like 65% of book problems would be solved if everyone ate good solid meals.😂
Haha. Honestly none of these books are ones I ever would have picked up XD so I guess I’m not missing out all that much!
ALSO NOW I’M FREAKING OUT THAT NANO IS SO SOON?!?!?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN. I STILL NEED TO FINISH MY OUTLINE OWHFÖOIWEFIÖEEFJÖIEFWUHÖWEHÖU
I was all like oh yeah it’s in a month I’m good but 36 days somehow makes it seem SOONER??
So.
Yeah.
Ahem.
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I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T EVEN HAVE A BOOK FOR NANO. WHATT IS THIS. 😳😳😳
first question: what the heck is reality tv? #UnculturedHomeschoolerOverHere
second question: and why would you want to read a book about it?
third question: why in the world do authors like to kill off the side characters that we like, and the leave the annoying main characters alive? just kill the main character and give me more of the side characters already.
Most crazily, ~Olive
Olive recently posted…In which I, Kit, relate to you everything that has happened.
I’m still trying to figure out why authors always kill the good ones.😭
MURDER, JOHN. (And I just watched S4! And it was so nice! and then it went all stabby! (shooty??) and then they weren’t friends! and nO EXCUSE ME wHO BROKE MY SHERLOCK. Broken Sherlock is so hard to watch. [As was kid Eurus, for different reasons…])
(Sorry. Off-topic. Fangirl ranting. Sorry.)
‘The Definitions of Indefinable Things’ sounds interesting! [love triangle? done well?? HOW] And I definitely agree with the sentiment underpinning this post: More food.
Also it’s a no from me for reality TV. (Whose reality is that, anyway?? cause it’s nothing like I’ve ever seen in ‘reality’)
I’M GLAD YOU GOT THAT REFERENCE.😂 I’m trying to remember if I’ve watched S4 or just seen all the spoilers…😂
Omg I know right? Reality tv isn’t even realistic. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN.
Ah, yes, exactly what the world needs right now, QUEER TRAGEDIES. It’s not like the vice president of the US wants to funnel all the money for AIDS research into conversion therapy, or anything. I mean, AIDS was awful, and it killed off pretty much an entire generation of queer people, gay men especially, but the history is hard enough to read about, and I sure as hell am not going to trust an (I’m assuming straight) author to tell any story relating to it well. They just don’t have the emotional connection to it.
Also, I’m totally going to have to start using the term “gravezoned”. As in, “If this guy doesn’t stop complaining about being put in the friendzone, I’m going to gravezone him.” Works pretty well, I think.
Omgggg I hate America’s president. So much. But yes, like I definitely said: I don’t think the topic was unrealistic in that book but just HOW it was handled. You know a book is a problem when you wouldn’t recommend it to the minority that it’s about?!?
Gravezoned needs to be the next step after friendzoned because the only people who worry about friendzoned ARE VERY ANNOYING.
I’m amazed that you finish one and two-star books. I don’t bother. Too many great books, and never enough time!
I do not like people on covers, I like to imagine them myself.
And a capital NAY to reality TV. I have enough drama in real life, and most of the drama on TV is ridiculous or so far fetched, it’s not even worth mentioning. I need all my ‘little gray cells’ for writing my books.
I love your mini reviews, Cait. 🙂 I love the format and your brutal honesty. I’m glad you found at least one hidden gem! I’m surprised I haven’t heard anything else about it. It sounds really interesting!
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Also to answer your questions:
– I don’t like reality TV. I don’t even really like TV. We don’t have cable at my house, just Netflix.
–Okay, I do occasionally like cooking and home improvement shows. And I used to watch America’s Next Top Model, What Not To Wear, and the one about wedding dresses.
–But generally, no. Not for me.
-I don’t usually like people on the cover, but SOMETIMES it can be nice, like with The Winner’s Curse. It really depends on the style/artwork/etc.
Emily @ Mixed Margins recently posted…Tyler & Amanda // Maternity
I’m glad you enjoyed them, Emily! THANK YOU. And ug to reality TV….can it just please stop. I mean, maybe if there’s more of a point, like a contest?? But just families having drama is the death of me.
I don’t like actual photos of people on books? Because like…it makes it look tacky AND BOOKS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FICTION. GET ME AWAY FROM THE REALITY OF FACES. It’s also sometimes creepy with those eyes constantly staring at you whilst you read, and sweat. I think one exception is The Spellbook of The lost and found which i read a few days ago, that has a girl on it but not a face??
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It honestly depends for me too.😂I love SOME a lot. Like Definition of Indefinable Things with like the drawings is super cute?! And I love Dimple And Rishi’s cover!! But like Breaking here is awful pls stahp.😂
OH MY GODS people on the front of books kill me!!!!!! I just hate it!!! LIKE WHY?????????????????? WHY????? I don’t want to look at human beans whilst reading!!! I have heard of none of these. It’s so sad that you didn’t enjoy most of these!!
i can’t stand it when authors are horrible about lgbtqia plus (can’t find the plus sign on my keyboard lol.) and suicide or depression. It’s so hard to find a good book about those sort of things!!! Do you have any recommendations apart from Definitions of Indefinable things?? Thank you soooo muchhh!! Your posts always make me smile and laugh!!
SOMETIMES I like it?? But sometimes it’s pretty annoying. But like my copy of Before She Ignites just arrived and itjfsdakfldja it’s so pretty with the girl on the cover!!
Like recommendations for good books about depression? YES ABSOLUTELY. Have you read Beautiful Mess by Christian Clare? Or Eliza And Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia?
Arghhhhhhhhhh I need to read Eliza and her monsters!!!!! Thank you so much for your reccomendations!!
I have The Amateurs, I’m not enjoying it. The only character who seems to have any depth is the killer.
Haha, I know how you feel.😂
Ahahahah oh, Cait, your reviews are always SO AWESOME, I loved reading these. I’m so sorry they all ended up being quite bad – except for that last one, YAY, that one sounds so good, I shall add it to my TBR right now! 😀
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I’m glad you liked them anyway!!😂 At least hopefully I can make us laugh even though I’m being a salty cracker here?!😂
OMG CAIT YOU’RE A MINDREADER WHO KNEW YOU HAD MAGICAL POWERS (jk we all knew) this week’s cover geek on my blog is about people on covers??? say what??? like the post is titled Cover Geek #5: People on Covers I SWEAR YOU READ MY MIND. I have some…mixed feelings about people.
but omg this makes me even more excited for definitions of indefinable things! I’m very excited to read that one!
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I DO HAVE EPIC MIND READING POWERS WELL DONE FOR NOTICING. And omg I have mixed feelings about people too. Like why do they even.😂
I haven’t read any of these but now I really wanna read the last one. People on the cover can be pulled off…but they do get messed up a lot. Also, I cannot stand reality TV. I find it trashy and boring as hell.
YES PLEASE DO. IT’s like literally the best thing ever and on my favourites-of-the-year shelf because ahhhh!!!!
You pretty much hated everything then. Salty indeed.
😛
DID YOU NOT SEE MY LOVE FOR THE LAST BOOK C’MON NOW.😂
I was so sad because I saw so many disappointing reads in this post, but YAY for the last book! I’m glad that you found a favorite novel and the cover is adorable. Great reviews, Cait!
It is a bit disappointing! But honestly I lump them all together to get them out the way.😂I’ve had great reads amongst these too haha.
I have not read any of these books, and none of them are on my TBR, either. Originally I was keen for Breaking because I quite liked Burning but after the things you’ve mentioned, I think that will be a pass. Suicide is never something to include without proper discourse and delicate/respectful handling. Also: animal cruelty is THE biggest turn off for me, so thank you for pointing it out. I will 100% never touch it now.
I’m glad there was one book that you liked in here! Otherwise this post would have been very sad in terms of book enjoyment. It’s awesome that the depression rep was great and that you related to it! Like you said, it’s different for everyone, so hard to see yourself in stories with depression at the forefront but yay for being able to connect.
I hope you have more 4/5 star reads soon, Cait!
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Ugh I know. I just…the animal cruelty thing was so RANDOM and unnecessary and made me mad. And suicide shouldn’t be put into books (like particularly YA?!?) for just the shock factor. I read a book about suicide when I was 16 and was so so shaken…sometimes I think authors can forget their audience. (Not that everyone is like me of course haha…#thank #goodness…but still.)
And absolutely! I always want to say “it’s different for everyone” and talk about mental health being on a spectrum these days because I think we all tend to foget sometimes.😂
(I tend to clump the bad reviews together and get them out the way haha.)
I was started to get scared at how many negatives reviews there were until yay! A good book at the end! 🤣 Sometimes finding a perfect book you love makes reading all the meh books beforehand worth it 😊
The one comment you made that I found was super relatable was when you mentioned how you thought there were a lot of heavy topics that were glazed over for Breaking — I recently read a book that was so beautifully written and the story unfolded so nicely, BUT the ending completely sucked because the novel never properly addresses (or solves!) the heavy topics that were brought up. *cue internal crying* 😢 I feel like this is especially an important thing to note in YA because obviously the targeted audience is teenagers and sometimes teens read with the intention of finding answers or at least hints of answers to the questions they have about life. It’s so disappointing when YA books bring up heavy topics but never end up accurately portraying them or solving them! 😣
I enjoyed reading this post! 😋 (And as for people on covers… I honestly would prefer no? The only book cover with a person on the cover I can think of that I actually like is Stacey Lee’s The Secret of a Heart Note, but the model is turned away so idk if that counts 😆)
Ahhh yes I had a bit of a rough patch with these ARCs unfortunately.😂 I’m glad I could finish off with a rave review though!
Ugh it’s just the worst when topics are glazed over. It’s really important to talk about them, like you said, particularly in YA because inquiring minds want to know. I also hate it when serious things are thrown around just for the “thrill”. *sighs*
I do enjoy nicely placed grammatical periods, but not juvenile historical dramas. I’ll skip on that one! But do make good use of the grammar taught in school, guys. Let’s not disregard the importance of a well-placed exclamat!on mark, nor of a c,o,m,a. It’s important.
Sarah Shepard’s (and I’m sorry but I picture the dog every time I hear her name) Pretty Little Liars is absolutely not the best, but it IS a good, really fast-paced book for when you’re needing it. I’ve read some of her other mysteries besides PLL, and I agree that they’re lacking.
I haven’t read A SINGLE one of the books on this list, though!
Trashy Reality T.V. is something I will watch only once every summer. It’s fun for only ONE episode, but I can’t stand much longer. Too much staged perfection and UTTER ridiculousness (The Bachelor is an actual WTF for me).
I think I can’t say for sure if I like people on the covers or not. It just depends! I love Truthwitch, Throne of Glass, When Dimple Met Rishi, and sometimes cartoonish people, but I’m not really a fan of the new covers for An Ember In The Ashes (even though the representation is very appreciated), and not of the cheesy romance / vampire / girl on a dress thing. The attire looked nice in The Selection Series, but not every single book has to have a freaking girl on a dress and a dagger! Those tropes are wasted. #stop
It depends, in my case.
Cait, what Personality Type Result did you get on your John – Myers – Briggs quiz? You have a preference for Psychopaths, and I’m much obsessed with them too. We’re totaly normal people, yes. But I think you might be like me! I’m an “INTJ”. If you haven’t taken the quiz, DO! It’s amazing!
I can’t even grammar so I’m just going to trust you. *throws punctuation around and hopes for the best*
I have only read this one series by Sara Shepherd, and tbh Im not really inspired to read more?😂I’m not a huge mystery fan though.
And I DO like dresses on the cover, but so long as it actually fits the book!? I hate it when there’s like this massive dress but then the character never wears one.😂LIKE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS.
YES. I’m an INTJ.😂 We are normal…also the villainous masterminds go us.
Omgggggg Definitions of Indefinable Things is one of my favesss. I love it so much. The banter and sass is fantastic.
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IT GIVES LIFE.😂
Just… more people need to use the term “gravezoned”. That is everything.
I know right?😂😂
Okay so wow you read a lot of depressingly bad books recently but IT WAS ALL WORTH IT FOR THE ONE. Which I am totally checking out, thank you very much. It sounds fabulous and you have me SOLD.
Also that’s such a good point- it’s not usually the topics talked about the the book, but the way they’re addressed. I think a lot of hate/just plain confusion stems from that.
Excellent post! ☺️
Eeep, I’m glad I sold you on the last one!!😂
Absolutely!! XD
My Name is Victoria sounds really great, I’ll have to check it out!
Also… I never understood satires either… I usually get offended by them haha. I haven’t heard anything great about Royce Rolls so I never had an interest in picking it up but now I definitely won’t haha.
Great post! Thanks for sharing ^_^
~Brittany @ Brittany’s Book Rambles
I’m glad I’m not alone with the satires problems then.😂 I guess you have to have a specific sense of humour to enjoy them?? *runs out of the room screaming*
I have not read any of those but now you made me want to read Definitions of Indefinable Things . You successful made my TBR grew bigger Cait *shakes head*
Oh GREAT! I’m so glad I convinced you for that one. It’s so SPECIAL. 😍