Even though I am, let’s face it, 99% flawless…I am pausing in my flawlessness today to talk about embarrassing blogging mistakes. Because, yes! I have made them to! And sometimes it’s rather encouraging for us to throw caution to the wind and confess that sometimes our brains function less than an unripe avocado. Then we can all commiserate in our embarrassments.
So while I prefer to think I’m an immortal flawless overlord who never falls on my face…here are some confessions.
1. I’VE SENT REVIEW REQUESTS FOR BOOKS TO THE WRONG PUBLISHER.
Publishers are kind of the Almighty Wonders Of The Bookish World to me. I’m in awe that they even give out free books for review. And I always meticulously research who to ask for what and release dates and blah blah. So you can imagine the distress of typing in THE WRONG PUBLICIST’S EMAIL.
I have done this not once, but several times. Excuse me. I feel like a sliver of sawdust and stupidity.
2. WHEN I WAS A SMALL, GREEN, NEWBIE BOOK BLOGGER I TWEETED A NEGATIVE REVIEW AND TAGGED THE AUTHOR.
I KNEW NOTHING, okay?! It was like the 3rd ARC I ever got and I was trying to follow all the rules and tag all the right people (new to twitter too at that point) and I…I…don’t think I thought authors read tweets?! NEEDLESS TO SAY…they replied so nicely and I died a little inside. How could I?!? AGH. BURY ME.
3. SPEAKING OF TWITTER…I STARTED MY TWITTER ACCOUNT PURELY TO ENTER GIVEAWAYS.
I believe this is one of the Great Taboos Of Social Media. BUT HOW COULD I KNOW THAT?! Once upon a time I was a green newbie blogger who was entirely oblivious to everything. (Oh wait…I am still mostly oblivious to everything…) But twitter is a fiendish thing and I quickly became obsessed in graciously tossing my humorous 140 character quips to the world.
But my twitter origins are dark and evil.
4. I’VE CONFUSED BLOGGY BUDDIES WITH THE SAME NAMES.
Should I be admitting this? YES. I AM BEING A REAL HUMAN TODAY FOR YOU. (It’ll probably never happen again, so enjoy this. I’m 97% perfect on most days of the week.) But I once typed a long detailed reply comment out to someone I thought I knew…but then I realised their blog URL was different. I didn’t say anything too embarrassing. BUT STILL. They probably wondered why I replied like a long lost buddy and referenced something they’d never blogged about. Ha…hahaha…oh dear. Bury me.
5. I’VE MIXED UP BOOKS SO BADLY I’VE ENDED UP READING THINGS THAT WERE…NOT OKAY FOR ME.
I read YA. You know why? Because I am a delicate fragile flower and think adult life is scary. So you can imagine the terror when I mixed up You by Charles Benoit and You by Caroline Kepnes. One is about a 15 year old and a mystery. One is about a predator who obsesses about having sex with women he stalks. WORST STILL…I requested You by Caroline Kepnes for review. It’s probably the only book I’ve requested and buried without finishing. I’m embarrassed to have wasted a publisher’s time. But. Save me from myself.
6. I FORGET BOOKS SO FAST THAT WHEN SOMEONE ASKS ME TO EXPLAIN MY REVIEW…I CAN’T.
Which is all sorts of awkward and I’m 99% sure there are humans on Goodreads who don’t think I actually did read the book. I’m sorry. I DID, I PROMISE. I just…what happened?
7. I MISSPELLED HUMANS’ NAMES ALL. THE. TIME.
Now this might not seem like a devastatingly embarrassing mistake. But it is to me. Why? Because I’ve been plagued ALL MY LIFE by my name being misspelled. My name is not hard to spell. Neither is my full name. In fact, it’s a very common spelling. But nooooo people spell me with a K or they put Ys in when there should be I’s — and basically it pains me so much to have my own name misspelled. Ergo. I should take special attention to others names, right?!? RIGHT?!?
I’ve horribly misspelled blogging friends’ names. Also my favourite authors’. By the way, I do not admire Susanne Colins. I AM DYING OVER THAT ONE STILL AND IT’S BEEN 2 YEARS.
8. I VLOGGED ONCE AND BASICALLY NO.
I’ve done a few vlogs with my sister and — noooo you cannot see them. I took them down. They were adorably cute, of course, but entirely embarrassing. Peoples, I am so shy that I avoid mirrors. And while my sister talked intelligently, I spent most of the time concentrating furiously on looking in the camera direction, or looking everywhere but. I’m acting, obviously.
9. WHEN AUTHORS HAVE SPOKEN TO ME, I BASICALLY IGNORE THEM BECAUSE I’M TOO NERVOUS.
Can I…can I just…not be right now?! This is so mortifying!! I am in such awe of authors that if they actually tweet me back or whatever I DON’T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND. So I usually favourite and say nothing. How does one communicate with authors? Do they speak the human language? Wut r werds anyway.
So if I ever seem rude on the internet, there’s a 97% chance that I’m in awe of you and am terrified to speak. The other 3% chance is you’re weird and what even.
10. I’M STILL CLUELESS ABOUT 90% OF EVERYTHING AND JUST FUDGE IT.
Twitter chats? Knowing the right hashtags? Being on top of which book releases when? Knowing what’s popular? Making my blog graphics consistent? Understanding HTML or CSS or SEO or ABC? Knowing the right time to post? Networking efficiently? Design? Grammar? I HAVE NO IDEA OKAY?!?!
It probably surprises you! I mean, I have quite a large blog and I sometimes say knowledgeable things. But mostly I’m just flapping along in my own little clueless blogging world. So if you don’t have it together, guess what? Me neither.