I have books that I love…but then I have books that I LOVE SO SUFFOCATINGLY MUCH MY FEELS MIGHT EXPLODE MY SOUL BECAUSE OF IT. Which is not at all dramatic, don’t look at me like that. There are just some books that are uniquely special for a certain reader. We all have That Book, right? (Or books, if we’re immensely lucky and have this feeling MANY times.)
That Book isn’t so much “just a book” for us anymore — it’s more like part of us that either has a) defined how we feel about something, or b) changed us, or c) connected to us like nothing else. When this happens to me, pfft, GOODBYE CASUAL INTEREST. I become a somewhat rabid fan.
If you’re not sure what a “rabid fan” entails, don’t fret. I shall define the symptoms for you:
SYMPTOMS OF A RABID FAN
- Talking incessantly about That Book.
- People start to realise that when you open your mouth, it will be to mention That Book.
- You find yourself petting the covers and crooning “precioussssss” which is probably normal and healthy and fine.
- You probably know WAY too much about the author.
Which is probably not stalking. - You’ve considered owning multiple editions.
- You’ve named your firstborn child/laptop/fish in honour of a character.
- You occasionally slip in little references into everyday conversations that NO ONE GETS but it amuses you because: rabid fan.
- You have a list of favourite quotes.
- You could talk about it for HOURS, basically, even if you have to duct tape someone to a wall to keep your audience there.
- If someone else mentions they are a fan, you immediately fangirl with them.
- If someone else mentions they hate it, you immediately gather tall boots, a shovel, and a body bag because that’s how it’s going to go, isn’t it?
But there is one rather large dilemma about having That Book in your life…
Should you recommend this book to EVERYONE … or should you hide it because it means so very much to you and must be protected at all costs?
At first glance this might seem selfish: BUT HEAR ME OUT OKAY?! Books are not equally appreciated by all. OBVIOUSLY. That’s kind of the magic behind them. We interpret them differently and they appeal to us differently. Ergo my rabid love for a book will be someone else’s mediocre “eh whatever” and also someone else’s “well I hated this rotten crayfish”. How…how even can one handle that for a book they love SO VERY MUCH!?
It’s very scary. In fact, so scary that I have YET ANOTHER LIST (you are so welcome for the list-love today, mortals) of reasons it’s really scary to recommend That Book That Is Your Favourite Of Ever.
REASONS IT’S SCARY TO RECOMMEND IT
- That Book is somewhat a PART of you, so if someone potentially doesn’t like it…do they dislike you?
- You are aware not everyone will appreciate it because it’s odd/different, so why bother recommending a book that only appeals to a small audience anyway?
- You try to recommend it but your brain is going “MINE! MINE! MINE!” like an incessant seagull.
- Actually you’ve nearly recommended it to a local human but then realised you’d have to give them your copy and … okay, no.
- If it’s an obscure book a small little hipster-y part of you delights evilly in the fact that you are unique/special. Shh. This one is like a dark confession and we don’t admit it too loudly.
- You’ve been burnt in the past by someone very rudely laughing at your love of a certain book.
- This book is like cake. Do you share cake? No, not really. DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM HERE?
- Burying the haters’ bodies is actually exhausting. Sheesh.
I have this habit of wanting to protect my precious darlings. The book means something to me because it voiced something I couldn’t or or the character felt like me or it gave me the feelist of feely feels and that is a BIG DEAL for a Vulcan like me. If someone hates this book…I CANNOT EVEN FATHOM IT, OKAY?!
But, at the same time, LOGICALLY…these reasons can be quite stupid. Recommending books is great for authors and excellent for finding new fangirling friends. If we don’t tell people about This Book Above All Books, then they’re missing out on greatness! How can we be so mean?! SHARING IS CARING.*
* Unless you are, in fact, sharing diseases or house cleaning — in which case, not sharing is caring. Please keep your bacteria to yourself and also clean my house when you get a spare second. Thanks.
It really boils down to one fact: Some books are NOT EASY to recommend because we love them so. This isn’t a bad thing. And I’m like 89% sure most of we bookworms have encountered this intense passionate papery feeling at some point. It also reminds me over and over that books are pure MAGIC. A pile of dead tree skin with 26 letters rearranged on it can inspire that much intense feelings in us???? Did I say magic yet? Because: MAGIC.
how about you!?? (don’t let me be the only bizarre one with this feeling…PLEASE.) tell me what book(s) you are a rabid/protective fan of? do you recommend all books equally…or do you sometimes wnat to protect your favourite of favourites?? LET US DISCUSS THIS MADNESS. HUZZAH.
OH MY -she says in George Takei voice-
It’s healthy that I have all those symptoms for one particular book, right? RIGHT? Also, I’m pretty sure you wrote this post while you were thinking of me and a particular book i love….
AHHHHHH OMG YES YOU AND SIMON VS. 😂 I’m so glad I rabidly loved that one and you didn’t have to chase me with a shovel. 😉
Yes, I’m very happy about that too. Because chasing people with a shovel is very tiresome and I’m soooo lazy. Sigh.
I totally understand this!! I’m always torn between wanting the world to know the wonder of my favourite books and wanting to protect them by not telling anyone about them! Usually I can’t help myself and find myself talking about them incessantly but there are a couple of series that I’ve read so much that they feel like they’re a part of me that I usually keep to myself. Some of these are the Stravaganza series, the Septimus Heap series and the stand-alone, North Child by Edith Patou. Wonderful post! xx
SEPTIMUS HEAP!
Ahhh yes, none of my friends ever understood my obsession!!
@Ari: SO SO MUCH AGREEMENT. It is really hard to be so torn about it, right?!? I talk incessantly about my favourite books too, but I get SO nervous when someone actually listens and starts to read them.😂
Oh dear… now that you listed the scary part I’m actually a bit scared! But that doesn’t entirely stop me from screaming at the top of my lungs and recommending a book to someone… you know what I mean? I think you definitely do! XD
Great post!
I do know what you mean! AND THAT’S GOOD. KEEP RECOMMENDING. I’m a silly selfish bookworm sometimes about these things.😂
I don’t always recommend books that I love because what if they think it’s stupid, and then they think I’m stupid?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN. OMG. Because that is a terrifying reality.😱
I never not reccomended books I love until recently when someone asked for a rec of a book with a less than mainstream type paramormal, immortal, or superhero character. I recommended one of my all time favorite vampire books about a stuttering, shy, electric blanket loving, vampire Physics teacher. It is an under the radar indie, so reccomending it was my thing. I also warned her it was Adult Fiction because she reads YA and MG exclusively except for the Schwab AFs. She said that was okay because she wanted to start reading more AF. Well, she didn’t like it at all and rated it two stars, which took it down a good bit on Goodreads because it didn’t have that many ratings. She said she wouldn’t have rated it, but she paid for it (only 99 cents) and felt it was her right. Which, okay, but she didn’t even say why in her review! At least say why you hated it so some people might see that they would like those things. I really hate bad ratings that don’t at least have a couple of sentences saying why anyway. It kind of strained my friendship with her (she didn’t even tell me why she didn’t like it). Anyway, now I will not recommend indies that do not have a fair few ratings to cushion them in case the person doesn’t like it. Which in a way defeats the purpose. Even if the person says they want Adult Fiction, off-beat and/or odd recommendations, especially if I know they mainly read regular YA, I will not. Nopey, nope, nope. 🙁
Agh, that would be INTENSELY awkward. D: And I mean, I guess not everyone is into reviewing so it makes sense that they don’t want to review sometimes and just want to star-rate? I do get that. But as an avid-rabid-reviewer myself, I get frustrated when there’s no review too.🙈🙊 And it’s HARD with indies (or even just not-mainstream or kinda-weird books!) to recommend because it’s like the only appeal to a certain type of person. In a way it makes those books MORE SPECIAL right?!? But so scary to recommend!😱
Well…I kind of understand the “not review” part. Because before i started to blog and write…it seems so hard for me to write review after reading books. The reason why i like the book somehow just follow the feeling… But i love to write review now…it takes time to adjust. But hay! Three cheers for reviews!
This… The end.
Best post ever. I know exactly how you feel (clutching my favourite book as can’t leave it on shelf – what if it gets lonely… but also worried I’ll spill my coffee on it’s beautiful cover) – that’s normal right?
AHHH I’M SO GLAD YOU AGREE, SUE. *hi fives* We bookworms can be such peculiarly selfish creatures right?! BUT MINE. <3 And I hate having my books not in their places on the shelf. THE FAMILIES MUST STAY TOGETHER.
Haha omg some of those points, in particular laughing at your own reference when no one else gets me #MyLife. I don’t know if I recommend these special books overly so – my all time favourite being Tiger’s Curse which I know you’re not the hugest fan of – but I forced it upon my circle of real life friends (literally forced it, I hid my copy in their bags until they got the message) and they all LOVED it. So we’re still friends, which is a good thing. I’ve since bought it as a birthday present for a couple of other people too …. now this is starting to sound weirdly stalkerish.
BUT I have that huge fear that I’ll be like: YOU NEED TO READ THIS NOW, and they go: okay, can I have your copy? Because I’ve since learnt that whilst none of my books have ever been treated badly I start getting anxious when they’ve been gone for more than a week and THEN you buy more books which accidentally squish up its hole on your shelf and it feels like it’s died, gone forever, forgotten like a peasant from the Middle Ages. Which is sad.
So the only solution is subtly slip it into every recommendation list everyone asks me for in the future whether they like fantasy or not. Or continue buying it as a birthday present without mentioning how much I love it.
(Also, I recently bought the first three books of The Wolves of Mercy Falls series and I’m slightly worried I won’t like it and thus disappoint you. I am determined to love Stiefvater).
AHH I’m glad your recommendations went down well!! (And I’m sorry I didn’t like your most favourite book! *gives you cake to make peace*) DUDE, BUT RUINING BOOKS IS ABSOLUTELY THE WORST. I have told people to go library the books I’ve told them to read…even my sister.😂 #noregrets Books are precious darlings. I feel AWFUL if there’s an empty space on my shelf where a book should be. :O I just need my family all together and happy!?? THAT’S NORMAL, RIGHT?!
(Awww, I do hope you like Shiver. 😂 BUT NO PRESSURE. I’LL STILL TALK TO YOU.)
I reccommended the Gospel of Loki to my book club and they all thought it was just weird. Especially the teacher. I tend to want to talk about my favourite books, so I usually reccommend. If someone doesn’t like it…well, that just reflects badly on them. 😉
Clearly they don’t have as good taste as you, amirite?! 😉
I would say I definitely used to avoid it, because they were mine, you know? But, I’ve since become a lot more inclined to just share them, because I find that I only recommend the books to the people I know will like it.
I think there’s a difference between saying ‘hey you there who likes fantasy and badass heroines and lots of kick-ass fighting and battles, this is the book for you’ and saying ‘I super duper loved this book, and seriously, you need to read it now!’ because in the first, you’re personally rec’ing it, the second you’re putting it into people’s line of sight and in their memory so they can make the decision to take a look, you know? I ALWAYS talk about and share books, any books, favourites and only books I liked, but the books I recommend are special, and I only recommend them to people I believe will enjoy them, (like you and Skully!)
Awesome post Cait, so sorry I’ve been slacking on commenting, depression had me down for a few weeks.. But I’m so happy to be commenting, it’s more fun than I remember!
I absolutely DO KNOW. The “mine” books are so so precious and special and afjdklasd I just want them to be mine forever. <33 Tbh, though, I DO basically recommend things from the rooftops but when someone actually takes my recommendation…that’s when I freak out and hide.😂
I do like it best when people recommend specifically though. It’s so special and awesome. <3 AND I'M LIKE 10000% GRATEFUL YOU SAID READ SKULDUGGERY BECAUSE OMG LOOK AT ME. A RABID DEREK LANDY FANGIRL. #noregrets
Omg, depression is the worst. *builds a pillow fort of protection around you*
When I love a book, I shriek to everyone about how amazing it is and how they have to READ IT but a part of me is quite scared that they’ll actually read it because what if they don’t love it?! Like, no, just no. But I think I’m one of those people that will shriek to everyone how they must read a book, I just can’t shut up about a book I love haha! One book that I absolutely love love love is a book that felt was mine in a sense, a book that I felt filled a part of my soul and a book that I couldn’t imagine any one ever loving as much as I love is I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson…that book was just…indescribable, really.
SAAAME. This is like 100% my feelings on recommendations, particularly for those REALLY good books that are just ajfdklsafd part of your soul or something. I mean I NEVER shut up about The Raven Boys, but I get SO nervous when people start reading it.😂
Did I imagine the finding Nemo reference? The seagulls shouting’ ‘MINE’? Yeah?
I think the worst thing is recommending someone a book. and then they say “oh you have it? May I borrow?’ and you’re like ‘how do I get out of this without sacrificing my child’. I think I’ve avoided recommending people books purely for that reason. Also there’s a few certain people I just avoid recommending anything to because I know they’re just going to tear it down and hate on it. Apart from that, if I like a book I will shove it in everyone’s faces usually. um…sorry (I’m not sorry).
ABSOLUTELY YES. I actually meant to find a gif and I forgot. (I can’t believe this post is GIF LESS. *gasps* I think I’m growing old and boring…SOMEBODY SAVE ME.) Ahem.
HAHAHA. Yes. I’ve had people ask to borrow after I recommended something and I’m like “UM THAT’S WHAT A LIBRARY IS FOR. I AM NOT A LIBRARY.” #noregrets
YASS! I stay very far away from the review section on books on Goodreads, usually so I don’t become angry that so many foolish mortals could dare to dislike, nay hate the books that I love.
Also, seeing as you are obsessed with dragons(and you have every right to be, because DRAGONS. I mean, dragons are amazing) you should read the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini. It’s a four book, YA , high-fantasy series with a fantastic map all about……DRAGONS. One of the main characters is a dragon! They also have bookstagram-worthy covers. So yeah.
Omg ME TOO. Or else I just only read good posts on it…tbh, I cannot read any negative reviews on The Raven Cycle. 😂 I get too emtionally involved. I NEED TO CALM DOWN BUT I PRETTY MUCH CANNOT.
Duuude, I WILL read Eragon. I promise. I’ve been told to copiously and I’m kind of embarrassed that I’m a dragon-lover and HAVEN’T yet. I mean, what’s wrong with me?!
I usually not recommend my favourite books when I don’t know anyone who has similar taste with the book I like. I never discuss that kind of book with anyone before and left me wondering If I tell A/B/C/D. will he/she likes it?
So true! And like it’s HORRIBLE if they hate it, right?! It makes me despair. XD
definitely… 😀
maybe we need a friend (or lots of friends) who will welcome (s) our recommendation, no matter what 😀
It will be wonderful <3
So far, I share every book that I loved, I even lend them to people I care about [some I even force to read them] because I want to have a convo with someone who’s actually read the same book and discuss it for all eternity.
Perhaps I haven’t found that particular book that I will feel most protective of.
But I do understand your point. I have this feeling on restaurants and bars. If I discovered something raw and I feel like I can build my own sanctuary in it, it is soooo hard for me to share ’em to friends 😀
Discussing books is truly the BEST so I understand!! I’m honestly torn between wanting to hide books and wanting to recommend them from the rooftops. SO YEAH.😂 I mean I mostly do recommend. 😉 But sometimes something is just that special you want to own it, right?!
Most of the books I love, I recommend to everyone- through talking about them incessantly on blog posts, if by nothing else. But I do sometimes NOT recommend books . . . in a slightly weird way. See, my sister and I have about the same tastes in books. I can’t think of many, if any, books that one of us loves and the other hates. But there are certain books that I don’t let my sister read- not because I don’t think she’s ready for them, not because I don’t think she’ll like them, but because I think she’ll like them too much. And she’ll become more of a fan than I am. (It happens . . . a lot.) I’m sure I’m being selfish, but . . . sometimes, I want a book to just be mine.
AHHHH YOU ARE WONDERFUL.😂 ACtually it’s a weird feeling if someone becomes MORe of a fan than you due to a recommendation you gave them, right?! I honestly have done that with TV shows and I don’t know how to even. I can be selfish too.😂 VERY MUCH SO.
I always recommend – shout it from the rooftops, grab strangers and let them know about it. AND take it to the library if they don’t have it and leave it with them 🙂
OH WELL YOU ARE AN EXEMPLARY AND NICER BOOKWORM THAN I AM.😂
To be honest I don’t think this has ever happened to me? There are SOME favourites, though, that I recommend all the time *cough*VESchwab*cough* and others that I’m more quiet on like Station Eleven, but that really just reflects the amount of love I reserve for them.
PS: I have no idea what you mean by the letter ‘I’? I’m having no problem with it …
You clearly are a MUCh nicer bookworm than I am.😂 BUT AREN’T YOU PROUD OF HOW MUCH SCWAB I’VE READ NOW?!?! I have to read The Archived, but it’s top of my TBR! 😀 And This Savage Song also *nods*
(Apparently the blog fixed the “i” malfunction. Thank goodness.)
YESS. These feels. I get irrationally annoyed when someone doesn’t fully appreciate the magic contained in books. Or when they borrow my books and maul them in the process. Like I don’t want to destroy a friendship, right??? So I smugly, and selfishly, and selfsatisfactorily (so not a word) keep them to myself. So happy to know other people feel the same way. Most recently, I’ve felt that way about The Book Thief, All the Light We Cannot See, and Me Before You. ALL THE FEELS.
EXACTLY. It’s like wanting to protect the darling babies because MINE MINE MINE. *sobs over books* Selfsatisfactorily should be a word tough. It is very pleasurable to look at. THE BOOK THIEF THO. <333 I shall join you in steadfast love of that book forever and ever and TEARS AND PAIN. (The best books are always the most painful.)
I don’t recommend my favourite book of all time to everyone, just people that have a similar sense of humour to me (because some people have NO SENSE OF HUMOUR AT ALL and would probably be offended by it lol)
I will however happily recommend books if I’m asked about a specific genre. And if that genre happens to be apocalypse humour with a dose of angels and demons, then all the better 😉
I totally know what you mean!😂 I actually told someone NOT to read my favourite book the other day because I know it wasn’t their kind of book and I didn’t want to waste their time/risk them hating my favourite. I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THAT’S A GOOD THING TO DO OR NOT THOUGH?!😂
I always recommend my favorite books, but sometimes I regret it.. Especially when people make fun of you for it.
AGH. That’s the worst. 🙁 And I’ve definitely experienced that and it honestly spoils recommending. Some people…guh.
I’ve definitely avoided sharing my favorite books with people before because I’ve considered them “mine.” I wouldn’t tell my best friend about my favorite series for quite a while until I thought that I was being silly—and I’m glad I did, because it’s awesome to have a friend out there to understand how I feel about the series! Still, I often fall into that trap still. Books are mine, and I refuse to share them.
Ah, I am a selfish bookish person.
It’s a difficult one, right?! On one side = potential fangirling with friends. On the other side = having to bury murdered bodies because PROTECTING OF FAVOURITE BOOKS. We can be selfishly bookish together bascially.
Light and Shadow trilogy by Moira Katson
*hides from everyone*
Every single point describes my life! Especially this trilogy because it’s not that well known, self-published by the author, AND LITERALLY SOOO MANY FEELS I JUST CAN’T. I’ve recommended it to a few people on Instagram and mentioned it on my blog, but I’m secretly hoping people look past it and only those people who are going to love it end up seeing my comment/blog post!
AHHH I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. Those kind of books just really want to be hugged and protected. <33 It's really HARD when someone hates it though, right?! It's like they're hating you personally too. WHICH ISN'T THE CASE OF COURSE. BUT IT FEELS THAT WAY.
I tell my friends about the books I really-really like, but I don’t tend to tell my friends about the books that are OMG THIS BOOK WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE ASDFGHJKL books. Because I couldn’t bare if they didn’t love it as much as I do, or, //gasp, hated it. THEN I WOULD BE QUESTIONING OUR FRIENDSHIP. And that is not good.
SAAAAME. THAT IS ABSOLUTELY ME. Because if they hate it, it’s just TOO hard to face that fact. I would rather not know?!?
Okay, first list = relatable. I may or may not have fallen asleep cuddling my books before. (I swear they give you sweet dreams, just sayn)
BUT I do not have problems recomendenng. I will shove that book in your face and make you eat it. However, I’m selective about who I let borrow my babies. As I’ve mentioned before the phone number in The Hunger Games = NOT ok.
Usually my bed is HIDDEN under books because I take photos of them then just let them cover my bed and gaze lovingly at them. <3 Books = 😍
I'm glad you're a vivacious recommender though.😂 BRAVE YOU. I AM NOT SO BRAVE.
Somewhat related to this – I always hate when I recommend a book I really love to someone else and they either a) say they’re going to read it but don’t or b) don’t finish it and are all like “Oh it wasn’t that good”. ASDFGHJKL I RECOMMENDED THIS TO YOU AS A FAVOR AND THEN YOU’RE SHOVING IT BACK IN MY FACE AND SAYING IT’S NOT WORTHY?!?!
Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality
IT’S REALLY DEVASTATING WHEN THEY DON’T LOVE YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK OF EVER. *weeps quietly*
I think so far, I recommend books based on what the person I’m recommending it to likes. But there have been plenty of cases where a person doesn’t adore a book as I do, and I’ve been offended on the book’s behalf!
YES! Being offended on the book’s behalf is the PERFECT way to sum it up.😂
Yessss!!! I feel the same way! Sometimes I don’t recommend my favorites because I want to keep the beautifulness all to myself! Or other times I don’t say what my favorite books/series are because I’m scared people are going to just rip the book apart and hate it! Like the Shadowhunter books. Normal humans don’t understand the wonderfulness of these books and I’m over here like “these books are my everything”. The struggle is definitely real!
I TOTALLY KNOW THAT FEEL. It’s so selfish buuuuut some books are just SO PRECIOUS AND I DON’T WANT TO SHARE. Omg I totally am with you on Shadowhunters. It boggles my brain when people hate them. Like. HOW COULD YOU???? OMG.
I…I…I…i….i….i…i. Nope it still works:) I love Sarah J. Mass with a fiery passion. It’s really hard to recommend the her books for me, because they are just so awesome. Plus the first book is just the beginning and they just keep getting more awesome. Sometime I feel like I have to ductape my mouth after I talk about the first book of Throne of Glass, so I don’t ruin the whole thing. Lucky thing my mom who doesn’t read what I read but will listen anyway and I don’t have to worry about spoiling her.
(Well I’m glad the I is back to working.😂)
I feel like I talk about Maggie Stiefvater like you talk about Sarah J Maas than. 😂 I MEAN, YAY FOR AVID RABID FANS RIGHT, THOUGH!?!? Although it’s really hard to listen to any negative opinions on them. They are just too precious. *builds box around all of favourite books*
I am a rabid fan of the Throne Of Glass series, Geek Girl, Fangirl, any historic fiction and for a few years I was obsessed with Jacqueline Wilson. I had to buy everyone of her books. EVERY ONE. I do talk about my favourite books a lot and my friends don’t read the same things as me but when they do, i start making references like there’s no tomorrow.
MAKING REFERENCES IS THE BEST THOUGH. I accidentally keep quoting things at my mum and she has NO IDEA I AM.😂 I find it mildly amusing and she’s probably just thinking “what is this creature I keep company with”.
I’m the type who will recommend a book I love to everyone, but sometimes I get a little scared they won’t like it. And also scared that I’ll have to disown them if they don’t because honestly HOW DARE YOU not like my favorite book???? I’m trying to work on not judging peoples’ taste in books but its hard 😛
The fear is REAL. Also the “HOW DARE YOU” moment.😂 I get that and then, omg, how does one even handle it??? Drowning self in chocolate??
Okay I’m going to embarrass myself by admitting that I sometimes use book and movie quotes in daily conversation. Like saying “this looks pretty good” when parking- no one ever gets it. 🙂 So yeah to the quotes thing! And it kills me that people have named their kids Arya and stuff. LOL. How cool is that? And fish- that made me laugh. I want to name a fish after a book person.
I do sometimes NOT recommend a book because- what if they don’t like it? Then they invested all that time and are like “what’s the big deal?” So depending on the person I might just skip it… 🙂
I DO THE QUOTES SO MUCH OMG. And people think I’m just this intelligent (?!) soul who says weird or clever things, but I am absolutely just quoting. 😂 NO REGRETS THOUGH. (Omg I read somewhere all the names people were using out of Game of Thrones and it’s like “have you read this?? You’re naming your kid Sandor? Pls stop”.) I did name my dog Atticus though and I haven’t read Go Set A Watchman. I AM TOO SCARED, QUITE FRANKLY. And I named him before the book came out. 😛
Most of the time I recommend books because I’m not good at shutting up (big shock there). xD But burying the bodies is SO exhausting. Gah. It’s a struggle, Cait.
AHHH I UNDERSTAND.😂 I mean I basically don’t shut up about the books I love too, buuut, I get super nervous when someone actually says they’ll read them.😂 IT IS EXHAUSTING TO BURY ALL THOSE BODIES OMG. But at least it’s nice to get some exercise?
Two come to mind–I hesitate to recommend Challenger Deep because it’s weird. But it was also my favorite read of last year, so I want to recommend it. But I’m afraid people won’t stick with it and appreciate it.
And I hesitate to recommend my favorite book of my late teens/early 20s, because what if it’s just the right book at the right time? Friends my age might be too old for it, and friends your age might find it too…1989. (The River Why by David James Duncan, in case you’re curious though.)
OOH ME TOO. Challenger Deep is incredible, but a bit mind boggling at times, right? And it’s hard to smack a book in someone’s face and say “yOU’LL BE CONFUSED BUT IT’S SO GOOD” because they give such WEIRD looks, omg. Ahem.
I can’t say that I’ve really hesitated to recommend a favourite book. At least, not a favourite fiction book. I read some non-fiction, and when it’s about controversial subjects, I won’t bother recommending those ones. Inevitably, I’d get some comment like, “You do know that that book is wrong and you’re just a stupid loser for even reading about that topic, right?” So… yeah. I’ll recommend fiction, but I won’t always recommend non-fiction.
I don’t think I’m really protective of my favourites, either. If I love a book, I want other people to have a chance to read it because they might love it, too!
Some of my favourites are books like Fire and Hemlock, A Certain Slant of Light, and Tiger Moon, all of which I’ve seen people complain about for various reasons. But that hasn’t stopped me from recommending all of them at some point!
(*creeps uninvited into conversation* FIRE AND HEMLOCK!!!! <3<3<3 I JUST READ IT THIS YEAR AND ADORE IT!!! <3 ^_^ …Assuming it's the DWJ Fire and Hemlock. 😛
And I"m the same way about nonfiction, I don't usually talk with people about that. :P)
Yes, I was referring to Diana Wynne Jones’s Fire and Hemlock. Yay! Another fan! 🙂
@La Coccinelle: Agh, I have had someone tell me I was stupid for loving a book once. Like an IRL person: TO MY FACE. I pretty much didn’t even know how to react so I probably looked like a blank brick wall. Least to say I never talk about books IRL. Ahem. But fair enough! You are MUCH nicer than me to share your favourites without problem, hehe. I mean, I do still recommend my favourites?! but I have a VERY hard time discussing them calmly if someone hates them. 😛 😂
This is me. With ALL of my favourites, pretty much. I’m not a big recommender. I like to get other people’s recs and read them but giving them out? Yep, nope. What if they don’t like it? What if they think it’s stupid? What – and this is the bit that kills me a little just thinking about it, and is also a weird, selfish reason – they love it as much as I do and they get the same feels and feel like they love it as much as you do and it’s just… it’s mine. I know it’s selfish, I know it’s silly, but at the same time, the books that gave me the biggest feels, the characters that made me feel something indescribable, I don’t want to share that. I want to hold onto it and cuddle it and let it be MINE! N
….so I very much agree with you in this post, Cait! But it’s probably showing my selfishness and Slytherin traits more than anything though.
AHHH ME TOO!! I mean, I do give recommendations ALL THE TIME, just via way of talking about books on my blog, but I honestly tend to not review my most FAVOURITE OF FAVOURITE books! I’m pretty sure I’ve reviewed a grand total of 2 Stiefvater books on here, yet she’s my most favourite author?! I am an oddball.😂 The “but it’s mine” feeling about books is such a real thing sometimes. BOOKS ARE SO PRECIOUS.
(I am Slytherin too…so maybe it’s a Slytherin thing?!)
I feel ya, I do. Whoever send negative reviews are the hardest to write are WRONG. It’s writing six-starred glorious book reviews that’s practically impossible.
A FELLOW SLYTHERIN! *tackle hugs* That makes me feel so much better that there’s more of us out there. I feel so alone in my slytherin-ness.
ABSOLUTELY YES. Actually, I find the lower the rating, the easier it is to review.😂 OMG DUDE YAY! SLYTHERIN’S UNITE!
ME. Actually, the first time I started recommending TFIOS it was a bit hipster because nobody had even heard of John Green yet #specialsnowflake
But yessss I’m very cautious of recommending His Dark Materials because OMG I love it so much and it’s just not for everyone. Like at all. Especially people who aren’t godless heathens like me. Oops.
Oh oh you HIPSTER you. And I also will take a moment to declare I was reading Maggie Stiefvater BEFORE The Raven Cycle *flips hair majestically* (hey I’m not a godless heathen [ummmm, mostly] AND I LOVED HIS DARK MATERIALS!)
Oh, I totally agree! I love to recommend books to help the author out, but at the same time, there are certain books I LOVE SO MUCH, I really don’t want someone to read it b/c I told them too and then they hate it or something. Sigh.
It’s too haaaaard to hear someone say a book we love is horrible, right?! OH THE SUFFOCATING PAIN OF IT.
YES. O_O I know that feeling… I guess I feel it the most about Howl’s Moving Castle and The Lord of the Rings… but I still want everyone to read them because I LOVE THEM SO AND THEY’RE THE BEST. But at the same time I know they’re not everyone’s cup of tea and when people don’t like them I just want to… er… yes… everything you said. BASICALLY THIS WHOLE POST OH MY GOSH. <3 *hugs it*
Oh, and there ARE a few books I've read that I feel like are ONLY for me, not because they're my TOP favorites, but because I do love them and feel like no one else would GET them. Like The Pirate's Son and The Death Defying Pepper Roux by Geraldine McCaughrean, and Ronia the Robber's Daughter by Astrid Lindgren and… I know I"m forgetting some. But they're weird but they're just RIGHT for me but I don't think anyone else would understand… :-/ So yes, I TOTALLY get it and agre!
(Except now I'm wildly curious about what books YOU feel that way about! …But then of course, that would defeat the whole point, wouldn't it? XD)
(THE MUSIC MAP!!!!)
(Sharing is caring except diseases and house cleaning oh my goodness I"m dying of laughter you incredibly amusing pineapple you. <3)
YUP. I GET IT. I TOTALLY DO. THE BOOKWORM LIFE IS RIDICULOUSLY HARD ISN’T IT? *collapses dramatically*
And omgggg, I totally know how it feels to honestly just kind of bury books because we love them so much. It’s like they were written directly FOR us, right?! THAT FEELING IS BEYOND AMAZING AHHHHH. Ahem. I was actually going to list some books I feel really intensely about but the post was already kind of long. 😂 So definitely Half Bad by Sally Green. <3 Most people don't seem to "get it" but it CHOKES me with how much I love it. And The Raven Cycle. <3333 LIKE I CANNOT EVEN WITH HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT BOOK. I'm also monstrously protective of Bone Gap, but I still recommend that one fiercely so I'm not AS protective of it.😂
(I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE AMUSED BY MY WEIRDNESS. <3😂)
Cait, I absolutely feel you when it comes to book recommendations that you just LOVE SO MUCH because if someone doesn’t like it, it would like CRUSH YOUR SOUL. While I love popular YA as much as the next blogger, there’s actually a few niche books that are on my TOP FAVOURITES OF ALL TIME. Books like Feed, which are a zombie horror/journalism mesh, and WOOL which I was glued to it’s pages and Fire Country by David Estes because wow that language and feisty character. I shout from the rooftops about them but do I think others will like it? I know it meant a lot to me but maybe my tastes are niche? I don’ t know!
THE FEEL IS SO REAL, JEANN. Omg. It’s sooo hard to know whether to share or protect sometimes.😂
YES, yes! This is a thing! I have been like that with books that I LOVED- but that hadn’t been read by many people (or anyone, in some cases) that I knew. And so, what if I just happened to be the only one who loved it!? Then I’d feel like the worst recommender ever.
Also- that situation that you mentioned about being laughed at? That JUST happened to a friend the other day (names withheld to protect the jerk who laughed at her). This person asked for recommendations and my pal gave her one, a beloved book by an author she adores- and it fit what the other person was asking for! The referree wanted the referrers to give her say… a rec for a book with music (this isn’t the case, but shh) and Buddy says “I know the perfect book, it’s Flutes and You! I loved it so much!” and the girl was like “Hahah NO, I hate flutes, they’re boring and dumb” (for real!) and Pal was sad. And also, that person is RUDE.
So yeah, I keep SOME books under wraps. But my most beloved… well, I don’t think there’s many people who can’t be convinced to read The Hunger Games 😉
DUDE THAT IS AWFUL. And I’ve had (Sadly) a similar experience, with telling someone I loved the Hunger Games and them saying straight to my face how awful that series is because it’s about kids killing kids. WHICH CLEARLY MEANS THEY HAVEN’T READ IT AND HOW CAN YOU BE SO RUDE OMG???? Humans. Idek. This is why I hang out with books.
The Hunger Games is the Series of All Series though. I HAPPILY CONCUR. (I mean, let’s put Maggie Stiefvater on the same level, but Suzanne Collins and Maggie Stiefvater started me reading YA, ergo book blogging, ergo they created me basically.)
You basically described how I feel about recommending Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. I love it SO MUCH that I need everyone to read it but then I just don’t understand people who don’t love this book as much as me. Even when I hear ‘yeah, it was pretty good’, I feel like I have to tell that person to read it again because clearly they read a different book than me. And I identify so much with Cath that I almost get a little offended when someone says they don’t really like her. Loving a book this much is really difficult.
AHHHH OMG LET ME FLAIL ABOUT FANGIRL WITH YOU. THAT BOOK IS SO PRECIOUS TO MY VERY SOUL. I died a little when someone the other day said it was boring and Cath was whiny. I felt like just clutching the book and saying “BUT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT ME TOO”. Ahem. I think Cath perfectly represents every socially anxious/writer/bookworm/nerd of ever. <3
With most books, I’m generally happy to reccommend anything to anyone if I think they’ll like it, but there’s one book in particular I can imagine I wouldn’t because I want to keep it as a part of myself and special to me and no one can know about it. And.. I haven’t even read it yet.
It’s just that my Mother In Law gave it to me and it’s HER favorite book of all time, so it’s already a part of my sooouuuulll.
But since it’s about love- it’s Redeeming Love- I think I’ll be reading it soon, since I’m currently planning my wedding with her son. I was actually waiting for a really special time to read it, too.
So you adore a book you haven’t read yet?! I hope it lives up to expectations when you do read it!!😂 I LOVE books that are just that special though!! EEEP. I WANNA HUG THEM. (Except books are mildly hard to hug.)
I confess! I am guilty of most of the symptoms you mentioned. And I totally get not wanting to recommend a book because you love it. I actually have to fight that urge quite often because most of the people around me don’t like the kinds of books I’m reading or they don’t read at all.
Omg me toooo. I mean, on the internet it’s fine: there are always people who like what I like. XD But IRL?! I have to hide my favourite books basically because NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.
I have one friend that have almost the same taste with me, so I always tell her my favorite books! So far, my holy grail books are also hers, like Starcrossed Trilogy and of course, The Infernal Devices. Even though when she doesn’t like my recs, like with the Splintered trilogy, we have same opinions that Jeb is super annoying. It’s sad that she didn’t like it, but I know the darkness of Wonderland isn’t for everyone… I usually share my favorite book, because I love to talk about it (or defend it when someone dislike it :D)
AHH THAT IS GREAT! I have a few friends like that (bookish twins!) and it’s really awesome because you’re basically guaranteed a fangirl friend, right?!? 😛
OMG I LOVE SPLINTERED SO RIDICULOUSLY MUCH. LET ME FLAIL WITH YOU A SECOND HERE, TASYA. *flaps around madly* My sister was the same…like she liked it okay, but not RABID love like me.😂
I recommend my favourite books only to those people I know have similar taste as I do. I have close friends and we recommend each other books and most of the time we end loving them, so it’s a safe way to share my enthusiasm about a particular book. Sometimes I fangirl so much that I recommend it to anyone and I will write a review and then people are mad at me because they want to read that book but their TBR pile is too high. Or they have no time for reading. But I mean, I’m not surprised they cannot resist my arguments.
But I do feel protective from time to time, especially when my favourite series is read by a person I know is really critical and I’m afraid because the person is my friend but the series is my baby and like tha mama bear I am I want to protect it and make the person love it as much as I do! 😀
Ohhh that is EPIC that you have such awesome friends like that!! (Although I totally understand the feels of the TBR being too high.😂) Ahem. Mama bear syndrome? I CONCUR. THAT IS ME. Most people wouldn’t know it because I try never to be rabid in disagreeing on the internet BUT ON THE INSIDE I AM A MELTING PUDDLE OF FEELS IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT. *hyperventilates*
You’re definitely not alone in this. I’m sometimes remiss to recommend romance novels (which are my favorite) for the first reason you stated – romance is such a passion that when people don’t like it like I do, I get mad!
But then when you DO take a chance and someone actually likes a book you recommended, there’s no better feeling!
It’s really hard not to get mad when people don’t like our favourites right?! I have to sit there going “okay, calm thineself Cait. The world will not end if they don’t like it”😂😂
I recommend Outlander all the time! But I always put a cavot on the recommendation…it’s long and you have to give it at least 100 pages until you abandon it.
I find it hard to keep my rabid love for books under wraps. 🙂 I love books so much that when I invested in business cards for my blog, I made them two sided. One side has my contact information and the other side allows me to write a book recommendation.
OH YES. That’d be like recommending Game of Thrones, right?! I’ve heard Outlander is massively long.😂 But yay that you’re not afraid to recommend more freely! AND OMG WHAT AN EXCELLENT BUSINESS CARD IDEA.
OMG I GET THIS ALL THE TIME.
Especially with non-bookworm friends. I’m really want to talk to them about it but ugh they wouldn’t understand. Also, recommending books to bookworms can be intimidating because yes what if they don’t like it and they come up with a really good reason for not liking it and it makes you doubt everything you thought you ever knew. The sruggle is reeeeaaal.
P.S yay for lists! XD
YAY WE ARE TWINS IN THIS, REBEKAH. *throws confetti in our hair* It’s the “ugh they wouldn’t understand” that is the hard painful truth. And OMG YES THE DOUBTING IS HARD. I once loved a book to pieces but read a really sensible review that hated it and I 100% agreed with the review…which lead me to doubting the book and…gah. Cue existential bookworm crisis. *panics*
I am always very reluctant to recommend a book to someone unless I’m like 90% sure that they will enjoy it as much as I did, which is very rarely, because I don’t have a lot of friends who are as enthusiastic about books as I am. And I don’t receive many recommendations, either. Except for from my cousin, who has been insisting that I must read Harry Potter. I still have not read Harry Potter, though.
DUDE ME TOO. I have exactly zero friends in real life that I will recommend books to. I even recommended my favourite book to my sister the other day and she hated it and BROKE MY SOUL.
Same! The only person I feel confident recommending books to is my mom, because she’s not that picky about what she reads. I don’t know why people have to go around hating our favorite books. *gives you cake to sooth your broken soul*
YES. YES. YES! *all of the applause*
This is actually something I’ve been thinking about and there’s one line in The Fault in Our Stars that fully explains this thought, “And then there are books like An Imperial Affliction, which you can’t tell people about, books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like betrayal.”
There are some books that I recommend to ALL OF THE HUMANS because its awesomeness must be shared, but there are a select few that I rarely mention. Percy Jackson is one that I recommend to everyone and sometimes The Mortal Instruments, but The Lux Series By Jennifer L. Armentrout is something that I barely ever mention even though I absolutely love the series.
AHH YES OMG YESSSS TO THAT QUOTE FROM HAZEL. That is exactly how I feel. <3 Clearly this is why Hazel is like a wonderful representative of bookworms. :')
And I'm the same! I have books I blanket recommend, and others I make sure I'm SURE the person at least has a chance of liking it.😂 I would recommend Percy Jackson and TMI to everyone too! I HAVEN'T READ THE LUX SERIES BUT IT'S ON MY TO-DO LIST. eeep!
Hazel and Gus: those pretentious and precious cinnamon rolls. XD They are very quotable.
You should absolutely read the Lux Series! It’s especially amazing since the character is a book blogger. (YES, WE BOOK LIONS ARE REPRESENTED.) And also in the newest edition (I just started rereading the books), the author’s dedication is just perfect for you: “For my family and friends. Love ya like I love cake.”
OMGGG ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS INFORMATION BEFORE!! *screeches* I am 100% reading it now. Although I’ll be careful with your favourite baby darling series. 😉 I promise! (But seriously that dedication also sells me. I think this author is too wonderful for this universe omg.)
WOOOOP! I hope you get to devour the books soon! Keep me posted on all of THE FEELS (because there will be many). XD
Those symptoms of a rabid fan are totally me. To to point where I’m wondering if you’ve been stalking me, Cait, because that is scarily accurate. Especially the body bag/shovel/tall boots thing. I’m running out of room in my backyard, it’s a serious problem.
I’ve never not recommended a book I loved unless I knew that particular person wouldn’t like it. I think any chance of that personal liking the book overcomes the fears that they won’t like it (and that you’ll have to remember where you put that shovel…). Because even if 99 people hate it and one person likes it, you’ve still found yourself in a victorious situation.
YUS I BASICALLY CAN READ MINDS. *flails arms convincingly* But the answer to the burying-of-bodies is honestly to get a bigger yard. Preferably a field. Or a small backyard bottomless pond? There are so many options, Victoria. Be creative here.
And I do like your 99 people hating to 1 liking theory. It just proves you and the 1 person are the smartest.
Yep there are certain books that I feel possessive about, I get. I have stopped lending people books, its a nightmare.
I never lend books at all. 😂I CAN’T BEAR THE PAIN AND WORRY.
Every time I recommend a book to someone, I have this internal war. WHAT IF THEY HATE IT. WHAT IF THEY THINK IT’S TERRIBLE!? I’m insanely protective of the TOG series (although I haven’t read QoS, and from what I’ve heard of it, my opinion may end up changing), but I’m actually really selective of the people I rec. that to. Mainly because I’m terrified they’ll hate it, haha.
OMG YOU NEED TO GO READ QUEEN OF SHADOWS!! And ignore all my Throne of Glass rants, Kara. *pats shoulder*😂
What a great post, I finally KNOW I’m not the only one feeling that way! There are books I LOVE so much, I just can’t shut up about it, and I’d use every excuse to put it in a sentence or talk about the characters or the author and I am completely obsessed, haha. I love those books so much I want to recommend them to EVERYONE, every living and breathing thing, I’d give an entire speech to a dog or a tree about how good it is, that’s how much I love books sometimes.
BUT I’m so scared, because the second the words “it’s awesome GO READ IT NOW” are out of my mouth, I freeze, because what if they don’t like it? The issue with: if they don’t like it, don’t they like ME is forever printed in my mind, ahah. I’m very overprotective, but at the same time, I want everyone to love the book as much as I did, so…It’s an eternal struggle here.
For the books I would forever recommend and also want to protect as if they are my children, it would be any John Green book, The Accident Season -THAT BOOK WAS GLORIOUS-, I’ll Give You The Sun- forever crying about how beautiful this was – and most recently The Sky is Everywhere by the same author. This book was so beautiful I’m scared to write a review about it.Because what if people want to read it, and don’t like it? UGH THE STRUGGLE.
What a great post Cait ! 😀
YAY WE ARE TWINS IN THIS, MARIE! *hi fives* I have books I’m enormously obsessed with too. 😂 It’s just…omg, they’re just TOO WONDERFUL FOR THIS UNIVERSE??! And it seems a disservice to the universe if we don’t talk about them incessantly, right?! Ahem. 😉 And DUDE YES: if they don’t like it, it is personal. Plus, for me, sometimes I relate to a book so much that it feels like me in the book (or something, omg, I don’t know how to explain it!) and so if they don’t like it..omg far too personal. *dies a little*
OMGGGGGG YOU LOVE THE ACCIDENT SEASON?!?! SOB WITH ME MARIE, OVER IT’S BEAUTIFULNESS. <333 I honestly die a little in side at how many people don't like it. IT'S PERFECT. Same with I'll Give You the Sun and John Green. <3 (I need to read The Sky is Everywhere still) zomg you ahve such good taste in books.
WHY ARE THE BEST BOOKS SO HARD TO REVIEW?!?!
I don’t always recommend my favorite books, but usualy I do. I do owrry about people not liking my favorite books though.
It is sooo HARD when someone doesn’t like your favourite, right?! HOW DO WE EVEN FUNCTION WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE. *weeps*
HMMMMM, this is a very interesting post because when i read the title i immediately thought: NO! OF COURSE NOT. I WANT TO SHARE MY LOVE FOR BOOKS WITH THE WORLD. but then i read your post and mulled over it all and decided that yes, i am guilty of this. but it depends who i am recommending books to.
If i’m recommending a book to someone i know who has strong views on what type of books they like/don’t like, i may not recommend them a book i ABSOLUTELY LOVE in-case they hate it. However if i know the person i am recommending the book to is nice about not liking a book – i might recommend it, because then it won’t hurt my heart if they say they weren’t a fan like it would if someone said WELL THAT WAS A RUBBISH BOOK. because then they’d be criticising both the book i love and my taste in books which I WILL NOT HAVE,
rant over.
😉
THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. Like it’s almost easier to recommend books you really really really love to people you don’t know so well, right? It’s less painful if they hate it too.😂 IT IS VERY HARD TO LISTEN TO CRITICISM OF A BOOK YOU lOVE SO MUCH THO. #painisreal
YES YES. I love The Goblin Emperor but I can also see why other people wouldn’t and that’s not allowed so. *hides it from the world except very select individuals*
VERY wise. It’s the only method to deal with this, tbh.
YES, YES, ALL THE YES OF EVER. *takes deep breath* *composes self* There are some books that I love that are so personal and special and maybe a little odd that I am terrified that people will dislike them. And I’ve been burned before by recommending stuff I love to people who end up hating it just because it’s something I like (this is why I don’t recommend stuff in person to certain people, tbh). But yes, it is exhausting to bury the bodies. And it’s so depressing when someone hates a book you love, like WHY EVEN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD CAIT? *huddles into ball of sad feels* But yes, I relate to this post a %1000 and I would clean your house to show my gratitude to you for writing this post, but I can’t because we are in different hemispheres. *nods*
Also, I might have sneakily tagged your for something (but you are totally under no obligation to do it whatsoever). *sneakily drops link* *runs off* *hides* http://adelethelaptop.blogspot.com/2016/03/totally-shouldve-book-tag.html
It’s not odd! Or else I am odd too…okay so maybe we’ll just be odd about this together?!? BUT OMG SO MUCH AGREEMENT. If someone hates something that I love so fiercely it’s like “omg do you hate meeee” and then cue existential life crisis.
(OH THANK YOU FOR THE TAG.)
I AM GUILTY OF THIS TOO. To be honest, most of the time I don’t recommend my favorite books it’s because I’m afraid the person I’m recommending the book to won’t like it as much as me. (Except if it’s you. Because I know you’ll like it. 😉) But I totally get you about wanting to keep the book for yourself. 😉 Thanks for sharing Cait and, as always, fabulous discussion! ♥
IF IT’S ME I’M DESTINED TO LOVE IT.😂 But omg so much agreement! I don’t want them to hate it…it is my precccccious. And sometimes I feel I love a book so much it’s just impossible for anyone to love it as much as me. (Which is ridiculous, I know.😂)
Yes! Yes, this feeling exactly. I get this all the time. I rarely recommend books to people for two reasons. a) I’m super afraid they’re going to hate them and then I’ll feel so bad for the poor book. I just want to protect my poor little babies! and b) I don’t want people not to like the book and then judge me harshly based on the books I love. Because liking books is such a personal thing. Also, definitely that little (ok, huge) part of the brain that goes MINE! MINE! MINE! all the time. My precious…
AHHH, your b) is very much me too *nods* Like some books I adore SO MUCH but then when I try to explain them to people I’m just like “ummm…okay maybe I’m weird for liking this”.😂 Books ARE personal! And plus when a book catches a little piece of you and then you recommend it, you’re like sharing something very personal/close to you, right? WHICH IS HARD.
I think this is the first time that I’ve ever NOT shared a bookish concern with you, Cait. Unless I specifically know that the person doesn’t like the genre that my favorite book is in, I pretty much have no problem recommending it! I can understand your reasoning, though!
😱😱 OH NO NICOLE. Hehe. But fair enough! And honestly if I know a person hates a certain genre, I don’t want to recommend them books in that genre either! It’s like asking them to hate it, eh?
Great post! I always talk about books that I love, but when it comes to recommending them, it will depend on the person that I’m recommending it to. I don’t want to push a book I like knowing that they won’t probably read it. I’d rather they read it, and if they didn’t like it, it’s fine with me because maybe they saw things I didn’t see or something.
AGREED! I honestly hesitate to recommend books just to anyone, because what’s the point of shrieking “READ THIS” when it’s not their kind of book, right? *nods*
It depends to whom tbh. I recommend more books online than to people IRL. People don’t ask too much. I recommended Anna and The French Kiss to a girl once in the eyeglasses place, and one of my friends in high school recommended City of Bones to me. (Before the movies were even a THING. Can you BELIEVE? We were OGS!) Sometimes when my mom has free time, she’ll be on her Kindle, I’m like: “Kasie West is a GOD. You should definitely read this.” But she ignores my recs most of the time lmfao. Once she found a book I one-starred (I Take You by Eliza Kennedy) and she was so happy and gloaty about it, she was like: “omg I need this.” and I was like: “omg I have it.” I was gonna donate it because I hated it, but she took it, promised to read it, and uses it as a table decoration now. hahaha.
I don’t think I EVER recommend books IRL life anymore! I don’t know any readers. :O Omg but that’s hilariously wonderful about your mum. 😂 Mine would never read the kind of stuff I do…SHE’S MISSING OUT CLEARLY. ;D
I only rec my favorite books when I know the person might like it. Like the genre is something that they like etc. etc. Otherwise I’ll probably rec some other books I’ve read in the past but aren’t in my heart of hearts hahaha.
That is the best way to recommend books anyway, right?!? More chances for the person to love what we do.😂
Books are not equally appreciated by all. INDEED!
I am always leery of recommending my favorite reads because I fear hearing that they are “rotten crayfish” or some such poppycock.
For those that are dear to my heart (like Looking for Alaska due to my cousin’s suicide shortly after I read it) and the emotional connection is just too much to hear criticism about. We don’t want that little piece of us destroyed, and that’s how it would feel for someone I care about to talk about some of the books that fall into the Dear to My Heart category. I would always look at them sketchy forevermore with an Allie Brosh face. (Obviously they are book dumb and don’t even know it – I mean, let’s be real.)
IT IS JUST TOO HARD TO BE TOLD A LOVED BOOK IS “NOT GOOD”. I mean, wut even. *breaks a plate* And especially the books that just hit us so so emotionally, right?! THEY ARE TOO PRECIOUS FOR CRITICISM.
Okay, so I don’t get this feeling a lot, but for certain books I do feel very conflicted about recommending them! Most often I think it’s because while I may ADORE a book, I know it’s not for everyone, so I try not to recommend books I don’t think someone’s going to like. For instance, the Raven Cycle is basically one of my favorite series of ever, and while I wish my sisters would read it and enjoy it as much as me, I haven’t forced it upon them because I know they won’t like it the same way I do. (“EVERYONE SHOULD JUST KISS ALREADY,” they’d probably say, never mind that the progression of the relationships in this book is PERFECT JUST THE WAY IT IS.)
Ahem. But yeah, it’s easy to feel conflicted about recommending amazing books. Which is why I’m glad I can flail about Blue and her boys with you in the comments section. 😉
AHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THE RAVEN CYCLE SO MUCH I COULD SOB BASICALLY. I used to recommend it a lot, but now? Pfft. I barely ever. I talk about it all the time, though, so I’m kind of recommending it via that way…buuuut…it isn’t the first series I say when someone asks for a rec. Because it is just too precious for this world. And every time I re-reread it I want to add more stars (why aren’t there more stars) and sob over it’s perfectness.
Oh my, YES! I sometimes totally hesitate to recommend my favorite books for two reasons:
1. I’m worried I will hype the book too much and disappoint the person to whom I’m recommending it; and/or
2. I will be so disappointed if the person to whom I”m recommending it hates/doesn’t LOVE the book. Anything less than absolute love can feel like hate sometimes when it comes to our favorites (for me, The Raven Cycle series and The Love Me With Lies series)
YESSS. I LOVE YOUR REASONS SO MUCH! And zomg you are so right with the “anything less than love feels like hate” thing because THAT IS SO ME. *sobs so much* I cannot even talk to people who have ANY bit of criticism over The Raven Cycle because it is 1000000% perfect in my brain, omg. And I get so defensive about it’s perfectness. I JUST LOVE THAT SERIES TOO MUCH *SQUAWK*
Just realised how often I become a ‘Rabid Fan’!
I am always slightly scared to recommend any book I liked (not just the ones I am a rabid fan of) because you are right burying bodies is far to energetic and time consuming. Also, I know many of ‘these’ people treat their books (I might have studied there bookcases every time I go to their house) and they are not getting their hands on my lovely books!
And we have better things to do with our time than bury bodies! AKA re-read this marvellous books we are rabid fans of. *pets books* *glares at worrisome humans who may not like them*
Um. Yes. Yes. This entire post – yes. I actually put “I tend not to recommend my favorites” as my #1 pick when Natalie and I did a Top 10 about our weird bookish habits one Tuesday. And then today we had a lovely moment when she said “I might pick up The Raven Boys next” and I went “OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T.”
TOO
MUCH
PRESSURE!!!
For both me AND her. A girl actually told me yesterday how she picked up The Raven Boys and The Dream Thieves and have them 2 stars (?!?!?!?) and they had no plot (?!?!?!?) and they’re very problematic (?!?!?!?). And, well, long story short… we’ll all miss said girl dearly.
The ONLY two favorites of mine I freely recommend are Vicious and Six of Crows. All the rest (but ESPECIALLY MAGGIE STIEFVATER) are both ME-BOOKS (but not necessarily everyone-else-books) and SACRED, and I will neither loan them out, nor suffer anything less than 555 stars and a panegyric on their behalf, because I am obviously a rational and objective human being, and I am not at all insane. Not. At. All.
AHHHH I SO RELATE!!😂 I’m always torn between yelling at everyone to read The Raven Boys…aaand, cuddling it away in protection because so many people don’t get it and omg, I cannot bear to hear bad things of it. IT IS BEYOND PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. TRULY. AFJKDLSAFJSDLK. Ahem. And I have to say I’m not even going to miss that girl who gave them 2-stars. I guess some people were dropped on their heads as small children??? It’s honesty the only answer because HOW COULD YOU SAY THOSE THINGS. *hyperventilates*
Right?! There is the fear of “they’re NOT GOING TO GET IT LIKE I GET IT.” That’s how I feel about Gatsby, because when I first read it I was like “what is this? Overrated that’s what.” And only when I studied it in class for months did I discover that it’s a perfect book. So now when I recommend I always qualify it with “oh but I didn’t like it the first time you have to GET it to love it,” but I know that the person is never going to be in my fifth year English class with my English teacher so they PROBABLY WON’T!?!?!?? So then I’ll have to take them out for dinner and explain to them the TS Eliot references and the narrative structure and the symbolism of the colours white, yellow and green and … yeah. Could be pricey depending on the restaurant.
It’s a struggle.
Great post!
AHH I GET THAT. 😂 I say that for Code Name Verity! I actually DNF’d it to start with (Shhh, I’m horrible) but omgggg it is a perfect book of perfectness.
But you sound MUCH more knowledgeable about the Great Gatsby. LIKE WOW. I BOW TO YOUR ANALYSING SKILLS.
Hey Cait!
I think for me the problem is less that I’m afraid to recommend my favorite books, it’s just that I know some other readers won’t like them. A lot of what makes a book my own favorite involves personal connection and attention to details that I care about. For example, I love books with layers of characters, but only if they are all fully developed (pet peeve of mine). I also love romance, but prefer it to be in addition to a main plot. There are lots of books that I read/review and fully recognize their literary merit, but they cannot be a favorite for me because I don’t connect with them. My second problem is that a lot of my favorite books are either unknown or (somewhat) backlist, which means that a lot of people haven’t heard of them/don’t care. That doesn’t stop me from reading them, but I realize that it might stop other people. Anyway, this was a cool post, and most certainly got me thinking about the criteria of my favorite books and how that would play into my willingness to recommend,
xox
I totally get all of this, too, Mary! I mean, I mostly read popular/new books, so I usually know other people will like them. BUT! I do love some particularly obscure books and it makes me cryyyyy to think of recommending them and having other people hate them. Like I have a “checklist” (hehe) of things I LOVE in books and when a book hits them all? It’s just GOLDEN. <3 But I know not everyone's "checklist" is the same, right?!
Glad we relate on this. ;D
I HAVE NEVER BEFORE READ SOMETHING SO TRUE OH MY GOD. I get so scared to recommend books I LOVE because IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT WHAT IS LEFT OF MY SOUL HURTS. And I am definitely guilty of not recommending certain books to certain people who I KNOW won’t appreciate them. ALSO I AM SELFISH AND WANT TO KEEP ALL THE LOVE AND THE STORIES TO MYSELF OKAY
YES YES THE SOUL HURTING PROBLEM IS REAL AND SCARY AND OMG. *flails with you* Sometimes I just want to cuddle my favourite books forever because mine mine mine.
AH. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THIS. Do you know, that the one series that I love, MOST OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW HATE IT? *coughsThroneofGlasscoughs*
So yes, fine, I do not like to tell people to read it. BECAUSE what if they don’t like it? And then they rant about it on Twitter/Good reads and that hurts my heart 🙁
Also, what if they LOVEEEE it? Then they’ll spaz about it, and it no longer becomes MY BOOK? 🙁
HAHAHA bookworm dilemma eh? Sigh.
When I started reading Throne of Glass I felt the same way! Everyone hated it, heheh, but…well, I swapped sides.😭😂 SO I SHALL SHUSH ON THAT MATTER. AND I AM ACTUALLY REALLY GLAD YOU LOVE IT!!
It’s also scary when someone hates a recommendation because then it’s scary to recommend anything else, right?! *chews fingernails*
Well…i love to recommend my favorite books…since i think more people can love them!!! (Wait…but the boy is still mine…) But i totally agree with you the “SYMPTOMS OF A RABID FAN.” Whenever my classmates mention Brandon Sanderson…i just can’t pull back. I can keep talking about it like FOREVER!!!
AHHHH THAT IS SO AWESOME THOUGH!!! Being a rabid fan of something is. the. best. And pfft to people who don’t appreciate our enthusiastic discussions on them.😂
This made me laugh so hard! “…do you share cake?” LOVE IT. I definitely don’t share all of my favorite books, mostly because I do NOT handle criticism of those books well. Since you made me laugh so hard I will share *one* of my all time favorite books that I almost never tell people about. Anne of the Island by L.M. Montgomery. Its the third novel in the Anne of Green Gables series. Its beautifully written and I find more and more that different portions are applicable to my life.
NO ONE WANTS TO SHARE CAKE. NO ONE EVER TRULY. Ahem.😂 Aww, I feel honoured that you told me the book you loved the most. :’) I actually never read past the first Anne book? But clearly I’m missing out! 😛
Aside from the HP series, the only other book/s that REALLY fits this description for me is The Inheritance Cycle (Eragon) by Christopher Paolini… I prefer to keep my love for these books on the down low just because I KNOW how most book lovers feel about them. Most are indifferent, whereas some hate the books with a passionate hatred (and let me tell you the first time I discovered this via goodreads reviews i was genuinely crushed) but each to their own right! All the more for me I guess :’)
Agh, I do understand about being crushed when you see a favourite series is hated. D: That was me when I started reading City of Bones a few years ago and basically 90% of the internet people I know despised the series. *screams* (The fandom seems stronger and happier now tho, heheh.)
The worst thing is when you recommend a book you love and the person doesn’t like it. I recently had a friend have me recommend like 5 different books to her and everyone she shunned. I am done with recommendations for her. She is going to just have to go out in the world and explore and find books.
Agh, I hear you. It’s so depressing and honestly it just feels cantankerous too, sometimes? I end up skipping recommendations if a person doesn’t like the first one! I’m such a scaredy. ;D
I’ve definitely had this fear. I’m fiercely proetctive over The Hunger Games, The Lord of the Rings, and Avatar: The Last Airbender (which isn’t a book but it’s still one of my favorite fandoms). I get nervous talking about them because I’m afraid someone will diss them and I love them so much I start literally getting mad if someone insults my top three favorite fandoms.
I get nervous talking about ANY sort of fandoms, tbh, sometimes! Like Supernatural?! I really can’t even stand any criticism of it. hehe. I AM A PROTECTIVE FANDOM BEAR. 😂
Yes to every single of these, both for and against. I am so scared sometimes that this book I LOVE will not be loved, especially if I’m recommending it to my closest friends.
YESSSS. It’s so terrifying! *shrieks* It’s hard to recover from a friend disliking your favourite book too. 😂
I was about to comment, “You know, Cait, I’d love to read a list of all the books that you love so rabidly!” … and then I went… “Oh wait… that ignores the whole point of this blog post…” xD
BAHAHAH. No no that’s okay!! I totally still recommend these books…I just get massively nervous when people actually go and READ them. 😂 Like Bone Gap and The Accident Season and The Raven Boys are basically my top “I love them so much I shall scream” books. ;D
Just so you know, I am planning to read The Raven Boys primarily because of your frequent raving. *nods*
AFJDLKASD THIS IS GLORIOUS NEWs. I HOPE YOU LOVE IT AND IF YOU DON’T…*quietly pets hungry dragons* I mean, of course no pressure no pressure.
O.O #TotallyNotScared #NiceDragonsNiiiiiiceDragons
Yup, basically the fear of someone not loving it as much as you do. It’s heartbreaking. And the niche books, I feel like sometimes I know what I love it, but it’s hard to wrap around why someone else might love it as much too…But thankfully my BFF has very similar taste, so I can always recommend all the books to her, even if I don’t think other people would love it, haha.
Great discussion, Cait!
YES. Niche books are just so so special and it’s very hard to find people who can love them as wildly as you can, right?! I have several niche books I just wnat to closet away. 😂 Which is kind of selfish but shhh, the bookworm life doesn’t always make sense.
Haha, I feel this was about the Discworld series. It’s not just a series to me, reading one of the books is like visiting family, and someone else reading them and going ‘meh’ would be heartbreaking!
I’ve gotten better thought…I have started to recommend them…to people I trust :p
Aww, that is wonderful!! :’) I confess I haven’t even attempted to start Discworld because of the million books. 😂 (OKAY I KNOW THAT’S AN EXAGGERATION BUT STILL.) I can toootally understand how having someone dislike it would be the worst. D: *protects the precious*
For me, it’s much more about the other end of the reaction spectrum. I am much more concerned that somehow if I recommend a book to someone and they absolutely LOVE it, then maybe there will be less love from the book for me (kind of the new-sibling complex). I actually like to read negative reviews of books I’ve already read on websites like Amazon and Goodreads because it strokes my tiny hipster I-like-this-obscure-thing-more-than-anyone-else-I’m-so-dedicated-and-special ego that I have a stronger “bond” with the characters and the narrative that I can find all the hidden glorious gems that make these books and series so worth reading.
Like the huge fangirl I am, I adore discussing the plot and characters to death, and will gladly do it with people who have read the whole series multiple times (Hello, Outlander fandom!) or people that have zero interest in anything I’m saying but I can somehow force to listen to me for some amount of time :). However, I don’t like to be the one who introduces them to my babies because I don’t want to see my friend go through all the rubbed-raw emotions the books dragged me through, and I especially don’t want to risk creating something more powerful than I am. It’s the principle of calling people who jump on the bandwagon after something hits the mainstream or gets a following “fake fans” in comparison to the “real fans” who have been around and dedicated since the book/series was available. You have to prove your worth by being the biggest and best fan, otherwise how is this wonderful and tender experience any different from the next person to leave a review or write fanfiction, or draw some fanart (and if they’re not different, then how can these characters who have turned your emotions and brain inside out be as REAL as they have been?)
If everyone else loves them, how can they still be such a special and important part of you?
AHh, I love how you said the “second-child-complex” part because YES I GET THAT ACTUALLY. I’ve introduced friends to my favourite of ever author and they’ve become so rabidly passionate it feels…odd!😂 BUT I MEAN, THAT’S JUST MY HIPSTER COMPLEX SPEAKING TOO. 😂 I don’t believe in “real” vs “fake” fans, but I do get the whole “I love this so much I want to own it and not share it ever” thing. Most definitely.
I feel a little silly when I try recommending a book. Just the other day someone asked me to tell me what my favourite book (series) was about. I felt I floundered around the words and couldn’t get them out right. I just wanted to say what it was about but it didn’t come out right 🙁 Though they did still seem intrigued by it, So maybe they got the point.
A great post. 😀
Omg I relate SO MUCH, Anna. Don’t even worry. The other day someone asked me what book I last read…do you think I could remember?! NOPE. And I looked like a terrible bookworm who didn’t even read. *burrows into ground and hides*