Books are full of incredibly useful life lessons. But people like to hone in on the boring ones — and I’VE HAD ENOUGH. We overlook such marvellous life advice all the time in favour of the cliche stuff. Like “Ooh, Narnia teaches us that anything can be forgiven!” and “ohhhh The Hunger Games is about bravery and sacrifice!”
WELL.
Let’s talk now about the lesser applauded life lessons from epic and fabulous novels.
-~-
- CINDER — teaches us it’s perfectly acceptable to attempt to fix broken technology by thumping it.
- THE RAVEN BOYS — teaches us if you don’t eat your greens and live strictly on yogurt, you will grow up to be fabulous and logical.
- THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA — actually teaches us not to have unlimited faith in our heroes, ’cause they ain’t always going to show up to save us. Aslan isn’t a tame lion, you know.
- THRONE OF GLASS — teaches us life is short. Eat the candy.
- THE BANE CHRONICLES — teaches us you can fall in love with a plate and not be ashamed. No joke, this did happen.
- RED RISING — teaches us to stab everyone with a Roman sounding name. Do not delay. Although I’m not sure this is a life lesson that should be emulated.
- DIVERGENT — teaches us food before faction before family. I applaud.
- GONE — teaches us to have a cookie in a crisis instead of panicking.
- DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE — teaches us to always have a spunky rabid pocket-sized friend, because they’re incredibly handy when angels attack the world. Thank the WORLD for Zuzana.
- PERCY JACKSON — teaches us the blonde ones are always the cute psychos. Hello Luke and Annabeth….
THE HUNGER GAMES — teaches us that professions of love almost always have ulterior motives and are suspicious.- THESE BROKEN STARS — teaches us you can attempt a jungle hike in a ballgown with high heels. Lilac was pretty much born to live in Asia, to be honest.
- DEAR KILLER — teaches us not to hire hitmen because there’s a high likelihood it’s an incompetent teen. Not because, you know, murder is bad.
- JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH — teaches us it’s okay to squash and therefore kill your freaky mean aunts.
- RED QUEEN — teaches us that love-triangles were so yesterday. Hello, love square.
- BIRD — teaches us if your 5-year-old thinks he’s a bird, don’t let him out of your freaking sight.
- THE SCORPIO RACES — teaches us that failing NaNoWriMo isn’t the worst thing you can do in November. As the first sentence is, I quote “It is the first day of November and so, today, someone will die.” Yikes.
- GALLAGHER GIRLS — teaches us you can kill someone with a piece of uncooked spaghetti…but then stops before details. Boo.
- THE FAULT IN OUR STARS — teaches us authors aren’t super-humans and instead can be super-disappointing.
- FANGIRL — teaches us you can exist on peanut butter.
- WE WERE LIARS — teaches us…oh gosh. Don’t trust anyone? Don’t have dogs? Don’t have friends? Don’t go on a holiday to an island? DON’T DO ANYTHING.
-~-
I think we can all successfully agree that these lessons are LIFE ALTERING and invaluable and handy. I plan to put many to practise (mostly the Divergent one and I shall try to keep the Red Rising one in mind for sure…but no promises). So many excellent truths like these go unsung and it’s such a shame.
-~-
The Heir: You can be really rude and still be the princess. And it’s okay to be a playgirl because you’re the princess.
Daughter of Smoke and Bone: You lose teeth for a reason. (Why? I’m not telling.)
More Happy Than Not: Be more happy than not.
End of Days: You can be badass AND female.
Made You Up: Lobsters. What do I mean? Lobsters. You heard me right.
I haven’t read Made You Up yet but that totally intrigues me for it. XD YES TO DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE.
Is it terrible of me to say that after reading the one for Red Rising I really want to read it now? Haha. I *think* I tried reading it last year, but never got into it for some reason. Obviously I need to give it a proper go, and not be lazy about it. Pretty much, the whole ASOIAF series taught me not to trust a single freaking person, because omg, they’re all just going to backstab you in the end anyway.
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Well you totally NEED to read Red Rising. xD IT IS EPIC AND SLIGHTLY BLOODY. Which is scary, but the epicness is too awesome. It is. *whispers* I couldn’t get into the sequel though, sadly. And YUS. ASOIAF just told me to cry and not love anyone because they’re all going to die.
EVERY BREATH BY ELLIE MARNEY TAUGHT ME THAT SHERLOCK RETELLINGS SET IN AUSSIE ARE GLORIOUS. 😉 Lol, just HAD to shout that one to the rooftops! xD
Half Wild by Sally Green taught me that books can be written in however our imaginations want us too. The DUFF by Kody Keplinger taught me to REALLY belly laugh over something I read that was funny. Only Ever Yours by Louise O’Neill decided upon my future of wrapping myself up in my duvet AND NEVER COMING OUT OF MY ROOM AGAIN. The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl by Melissa Keil taught me to appreciate food even MORE. I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson taught me that purple prose can become so purple prosy it becomes beautiful and lovely to read. (And annoying because then I get sickeningly jealous of the author’s talents… -_-) Wide Awake by Hilary T. Smith taught me that books CAN actually raise your blood pressure.
ERMMM…basically books in general teach me how amazing they are! :’))))
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BASICALLY EVERY BREATH TOLD US PERFECTION IS REACHABLE, HELLO ELLIE MARNEY. *hyperventilates and dies* I won book 2 of that trilogy, by the way!! I’m just waiting for it to arrive. *dances*
I had the exact same reaction to Only Ever Yours. *huddles in the pillow fort and eats marshmallows* I was exactly one hundred percent disturbed. BAHAHA TOTALLY AGREE WTIH JANDY NELSON TOO. How is it even legal to be so good at writing? I demand evenly split talent. *stamps foot*
I’ve just finished Poison Study and have learned that coffee is evil. And also I’m pretty sure I know how to test for poison now. Combine that with the epic assassin skills I learned from Celeana, and I think I’m set to take over the world now!
Beth x
Beth recently posted…19 Thoughts When Reading: Slammed | Colleen Hoover
Coffee is evil?! *gasps* What is this. WHAT IS THIS, BETH. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS.
Bwahahaha I love this post. xD I have a few lessons, books have taught me:
Stormdancer: You really shouldn’t fall in love with dudes because they have green eyes.
A Hero at the End of the World: If you don’t know what something does, just steal it and hope for the best.
Half-Life: When in a conspiracy to kill twin, make sure twin isn’t trying to kill you.
A Thousand Pieces of You: Always try to kill people first, then ask questions later.
Anah @ Turtles In My Soup recently posted…Review | Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
ZOMG I AM LAUGHING FOR HERO AT THE END OF THE WORLD. Yup. That’ll solve all of life’s problems. XDXD
The Original (…too many wordssss) the Brothers Grimm: Who ever needed a happy ending if every one can just, you know, die?
I LOVE THE DIVERGENT ONE!!! The PJO one is true and now that I think about it, I was not at all surprised or remorseful when James’ aunts were killed by the peach… so I guess it must be acceptable.
I FINALLY READ THE SCORPIO RACES!! It was awesommmmeeeeee!! Everything is just awesome and NOVEMBER CAKES!!!! It also teaches you Nano snacks might not be the most delicious thing in November!
Awesome post because how could I live without the books teaching me these?!
Fari 0:) @ My Little Corner For Books recently posted…My Books Have More Sticky Notes than Pages
It totally must be acceptable to be a murderer-via-peach, right? And it’s an original way to go. (I was so disturbed reading that book as a kid. xD)
AFJSDKLA I AM SO GLAD YOU LOVE THE SCORPIO RACES. FLAIL WITH ME, FAIR. IT WAS MY FIRST STIEFVATER BOOK AND HOLDS A VERY SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART. I want to make November cakes. Did you see Maggie Stiefvater has published a recipe for it?! So cool.
I didn’t read it as a kid (unfortunately, as I figure I would’ve loved it even more) but I did raise an eyebrow but then was just ecstatic that the mean aunts were out of the picture. I could hardly care if it’s via giant peach rolling on them or them choking on the Peach, I was too happy for James and his peace!
It’s so awesome!!!! ERMAGAWSH I LOVE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AND THE ATMOSPHERE AND THE WRITING AND JUST… everything!! Also, I didn’t know that! IF there was a chance (a good chance) that I wouldn’t burn down the kitchen, I would’ve tried the recipe!
**Also, it’s Fari, not Fair.
Fari 0:) @ My Little Corner For Books recently posted…My Books Have More Sticky Notes than Pages
ZOMG I SWORE I CORRECTED THAT TYPO ON YOUR NAME. I KNOW IT IS FARI. *hides in embarrassment* Forgive me?! >_<
YES, thumping technology in order to fix it is very effective–on multiple occasions, I fixed our hopelessly broken TV that way. And yes, food before faction before family. I was also disappointed when the Gallagher Girls taught that we can kill someone with uncooked spaghetti, but then didn’t explain how (I assume you stab at the eyeball?). These are all wonderful lessons. *takes notes* *takes lots of notes*
As for lessons I’ve learned, let’s see… *brain cramp* MATCHED taught me that you should totally try your hardest to fall in love with someone other than the person you have already been matched to. DIVERGENT taught me that it’s totally safe to climb a giant, old Ferris wheel because even if you fall a hot guy is bound to save you. DELIRIUM taught me that love is evil (haha, I joke). THE GIVER taught me that you shouldn’t trust nice people. Ack, I know there are others, but my brain just packed up and headed off on holiday, so I won’t be getting much help from it.
Seriously though, your lessons were the funniest and the best. I applaud your screaming genius.
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Thumping works! IT DOES. I’ve thumped things and had them come good before. Cinder speaks truth. *nods* And yesss, like why didn’t Gallagher Girls go the full way?! I was reading for all this delicious pasta-ish weaponry advice and THEY LET ME DOWN. You could probably stab it up their nose too, I suppose? Or smack them with a whole bunch of uncooked pasta?
PFFT. Four probably wouldn’t even have caught Tris because he’d have been too busy throwing up. AHHAA. AHEM. Sorry. XD I am loving yours. DELIRUM THOUGH. And also The Giver. Yes. Never trust the nice ones.
I don’t think I can actually pick out a favourite because GOSH DARN IT THEY ARE ALL AWESOME. No seriously, AWESOME, like MADE OF. I may have snorted juice by accident whilst reading.
Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls taught me that friendships are terrible ideas, and Everything Everything taught me that PARENTS LIE and should never be trusted. Basically, all forms of relationships are terrible according to the books I’ve been reading recently…
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ZOMG. :’) WELL YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. I LIKE YOU. YOU CAN STAY. XDXD Haah, I love your one for Everything Everything. Totally agree. Omg, that book messed with my brain.
Well, I’m dead. This was awesome. Also, I am going to invest in a tin foil hate to stop you from reading my mind! Just yesterday, characters in one of my stories were playing this game (“…taught me…”)!
The Sons Of Chaos taught me that stepping into rock walls was a bad idea. Narnia taught me to beware of wardrobes – you never know what they might drag you into. Jane Blonde taught me that, inside every average girl, there’s someone awesome. Also, that snarky best friends are the best best friends. The Hollow Earth Trilogy taught me that family is worth risking the very fabric of the universe for. All Fall Down taught me that you can’t trust your own mind except when you can. Percey Jackson taught me to always carry a pen.
MWHAHAHA. I AM AN OVERLORD, AFTER ALL. I CAN READ ALL MIND’S. *rubs hands together creepily* 😉
Narnia is definitely great for teaching about wardrobes. *nods* ALL FALL DOWN TEACHES GREAT LIFE LESSONS THOUGH. That’s the lesson I repeat to myself when I thought I had a bite of cake left and it’s already gone. Absolute devastation. BUT YOUR PERCY JACKSON ONE WINS THE UNIVERSE.
Cait, this is wonderful.
See, that’s why I love Throne of Glass: “Life is short. Eat the candy.” My motto exactly.
But I love the one for We Were Liars. DON’T DO ANYTHING. LOL! Although it should probably go more like: “take a course in fire safety.”
Olivia @ Fluttering Pages
Olivia @ Fluttering Pages recently posted…Review: The Assassins Blade by Sarah J. Maas
Exactly. Celaena is US. WE ARE CEALENA. (If, ya know, I could spell her name, but I can’t so pffft.)
TAKE A COURSE ON LIFE SAFETY. OMG. *hyperventilates*
OH YES DEFINITELY. For example, The Intern taught me that there ARE clumsier people than me, which was rather nice to know. Lol, love the one for These Broken Stars <3 Great post!!
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HAAA. Wonderful lessons from The Intern. 😉 That book was so funny. xD
How the HECK did I know that this post was going to make me laugh because all of the lessons would be sarcastic (not that it’s a bad thing)? These are great, and I especially love the We Were Liars one. JUST DON’T DO ANYTHING AT ALL. I still don’t fully understand that book…I guess the lesson from the book I’m reading right now is pretty similar. I’m reading Conspiracy of Blood and Smoke and I’d say the lesson is “Don’t trust your Uncle. Or your brother. Or your father.”
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PFFT. ME. SARCASTIC??? NO. Never. Nada. I’m always serious. *nods sagely*
AHHHH WE WERE LIARS WAS AMAZING BUT MY BRAIN MELTED. I seriously sat there, clutching the pages going, “But, but but, no.” It was very hard to review. 😉 I’m absolutely loving your one for CoBaS! YESSS. XD
Oh my gosh, I LOVE THESE!!
I haven’t read all these books, but these are fabulous.
Hmm…life lessons that I’ve picked up…
Well,
Hex Hall teaches us that the most effective way to stop a werewolf is NOT to yell “Bad Dog”
And that it’s ok to be named after a car.
…and that’s all I’ve got.
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IT’S OKAY TO BE NAMED AFTER A CAR. *snorts* This is glorious. xD
Hahaha oh gosh haha XD! These are some serious life lessons that I NEVER thought of! Goodness… I need to eat more yogurt and candy…
The Rest Of Us Just Live Here (I’m not done with this one yet :P): It’s okay to remain calm during the apocalypse, just try to live normally and don’t freak out. DON’T FREAK OUT!
A Court of Thorns and Roses: Beast is beast.
Denton Little’s Death Date: When in doubt, yell at squirrels.
Yeah, I tried XD can’t think of any others…
Have a wonderful day :D!
*whispers* Do you like the Rest of Us Just Live Here? I AM FREAKISHLY IN LOVE WITH THAT BOOK. Ahhhhhem. But yes, I totally agree with ACOTAR. And Denton’s. Yes. That is a great life lesson and I really ought to put that into practise myself. *nods*
Another excellent post Cait. I especially love the ones about Fangirl and We Were Liars. Very, very good post 😀
AHHH, THANKS, STEFANI!! ^_^
Ah, yes, the Red Queen love square. That was sort of weird yet sort of interesting at the same time. I don’t know what I think about it, really.
And what about what Heist Society taught us? It is okay to steal priceless paintings as long as they were stolen by someone else first.
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It was rather strange, wasn’t it?! I guess the “square” part isn’t true by the end. XD
YES. That is a grand thing to learn from Heist Society. And it’s okay to steal something as long as you do it fabulously. *nods*
Hahahahaha I love the one about We Were Liars and I didn’t even read the book 😉 I totally agree with the lessons to These Broken Stars and Divergent. My most recent read was The Mistake and I learned to always have clothes on XD
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OMG. That is a fabulous lesson to learn from The Mistake. lol!
LOL, these are hilarious. I haven’t read most of the books on this list, but even so, I found them all amusing. And I think Hunger Games has some lessons about food too. Katniss seemed to devote a lot of attention to whatever dishes were being served. XD
(Speaking of which, this is quite random, but I just watched Pride and Prejudice for the first time–and I couldn’t get over how odd it was to see President Snow…excuse me, Donald Sutherland…playing Mr. Bennet. A nice guy. And Johanna was in there too! What even!)
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Omg, I’m HOPELESS when actors play other parts. Like just the fact that Shailene Woodley is Tris AND Hazel from TFIOS totally messes with me, because I keep thinking of her as Hazel in Divergent. >_> And I’ve seen President Snow playing this nice old guy who mentors thieves and it’s like “jUST DON’T TRUST HIM. HE’S SECRETLY ENSLAVING AN ENTIRE NATION OF AMERICANS”. XD
I love Katniss and her food. I do.
Breaking Dawn: It’s okay to disregard the rules of the fantasy world you created, as long as you can shoehorn a happy ending in there.
Cinder: It’s totally acceptable to discriminate against people with disabilities. I mean, just look at those cyborgs; who do they think they are, daring to replace body parts that have been damaged beyond repair?
Ella Enchanted: Ogres have a taste for pony meat.
The Hunger Games: Don’t love anyone; it’ll come back to bite you in the ass.
Sunbolt: Self-published books are a great source for obscure pineapple references.
Throne of Glass: Simply calling yourself an assassin is enough; you don’t have to actually kill anyone.
The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer: Be wary of main characters whose names sound somewhat… fatal.
Unwind: Mental torture is perfectly acceptable, especially if it’s directed at teenagers.
World After: Eating peanut butter and cereal in an abandoned house with a hot immortal can actually be rather boring.
La Coccinelle @ The Ladybug Reads… recently posted…New to the TBR Pile (29)
UNWIND. OH THE PAIN. I’m going to reread that book so I can finally finish that series.
HEY I TOTALLY LOVED THAT PEANUT BUTTER SCENE IN WORLD AFTER. x) Haaaah. A little slow, I agree, but I was totally salivating over peanut butter. XD
I loved the food in Divergent! It’s spooky how sometimes I feel like writers write with food/book blogs in mind (I mean, have you read Dracula? The first 10 pages are pretty much just John Harker’s “What I Ate Today” diary). Anyway, Divergent is totally getting featured on my site later this year.
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Ohh, are you going to make the Dauntless Chocolate Cake?? *flails* Well, whatever you do IT WILL BE AWESOME, I JUS TKNOW IT. UM< YES I LOVE FOOD IN BOOKS. Basically, I should just read cookbooks, but ya know, I love me some interesting characters too. 😉 I've heard Game of Thrones accurately described as Foodie Fantasy. xD
Oh yeah, the Dauntless Chocolate Cake is totally making an appearance. I also wanna see if I can make an Epic Meal Time recipe for one of the dishes.
I got the Game of Thrones cookbook as a wedding present! It’s awesome. I’ve actually never read the books or watched the show, but I love that the recipes are so legitimately medieval! I plan to use it when I do a King Arthur menu next year.
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AFJDKLADS A GAME OF THRONES COOKBOOK?!! *flails* I would totally buy and eat that one day. The food in there is rather incredible.
I got it from ThinkGeek, but I’m pretty sure you can get it cheaper on Amazon. It’s cool because it’s all, “This is the authentic medieval-type version…but why ignore the fact that modern food tastes better? Have the modern recipe too!”
Alison’s Wonderland Recipes recently posted…Missouri-Style Honey Cornbread with BACON!
We Were Liars: NEVER GET DRUNK AROUND PETROL
Divergent: Sometimes it’s best to just act 1 dimensional.
Every Day: If you wake up and don’t know what the hell has happened in the past 24 hours – A has infiltrated your body.
Requiem: Someone who tries to get back at your new relationship by leading a naive soul on IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.
Crank: Just don’t take drugs.
Holly recently posted…MINI REVIEWS: One Thing Stolen & The It-Girl
BAHHH I LOVE THESE. Is it bad that I want to try Crank from that?!! XD We Were Liars = just don’t move or breath or do anything. Omg.
This post <33 God Cait, I completely adore it. We really do take some sort of life lesson from each book we read, even if we don't recognize it at first or apply it in the most obvious sort of way.
LOLOLOLOLOL jokes. Really though girl, this post had me in stitches and I did love it. Your sense of humor is my actual favorite. It was definitely necessary for the lesser known life lessons to be highlighted and shown to the world [; Hahaha. LOVED the Cinder one, clearly thumping technology when it doesn't behave is the only (and best) solution. The We Were Liars one was perfect too. God, there's so many books out there that truly can give people such trust issues. Therefore, doing nothing is obviously the only solution. I mean the world is such a mess and nobody can be trusted so…yes. Let's do nothing Cait! [;
Haha here are some of mine. They're inevitably not as great as yours Cait- but hey, least I tried.
Dangerous Girls taught me to never ever vacation in Aruba no matter how tempting the "blond beaches and gentle surf" may be.
To All of the Boys I've Loved Before taught me to never casually write letters to boys I had feelings for in the case an sibling of mine stumbled upon them and got an bright idea.
Everything, Everything taught me that maybe I should question my mother sometimes.
The Night We Said Yes taught me that sometimes you said probably say no and avoid a lot of pointless drama.
Don't Even Think About It taught me that having super cool mind reading powers isn't as cool as it may seem.
LOL. Again girl, this post is genius <33
Larissa Holt recently posted…Discussing Through Midnight (53): Larissa attempts to be a Motivational Speaker
YES, BUT I’M 100% SERIOUS, OF COURSE. Okay, maybe 95.6% serious? XD MWHAHAH. Awwww, Larissay. <33 YOU ARE SO NICE. And come now, look me in the eye and tell me you haven't considered smacking misbehaving technology before, right?!! 😉 Gosh, I've wanted to thump my computer. -_- But I resist, because, unfortunately, I don't have Cinder's talents.
I 1000000% agree with your lessons-learnt-from-Dangerous-Girls. NEVER GO ON HOLIDAYS BASICALLY.
Haaaa to Everything, Everything. Did you like that one?? I was so weirded out. >_<
Ha, awesome lessons. And as for Fangirl, I already knew you could exist on peanut butter. I think I have eight different varieties of nut butter in my pantry . . . and one jar of cookie butter. Mmm . . . . cookie butter.
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You can survive the apocalypse. YOU CAN.
This is an excellent list of life lessons. I agree that they’re much more useful than the standard “moral of the story” nonsense. Divergent might be my favorite, because, FOOD. Yeah, that’s always going to be my priority. Sorry, family! And if I had to pick only one food to live of off, it very well might be peanut butter. It’s kind of amazing. Although purple sweet potatoes would be hard to do without. I sincerely hope I never have to make this decision, haha.
Let’s see…Royal Wedding teaches us that not everyone grows up, even if they’re almost 30 and a princess. (Although reassuring, it doesn’t exactly make for an enjoyable book.)
EXACTLY. Peanut butter is perfect, ergo Cath and Tris would’ve gotten on quite well. But purple sweet potatoes?? WHAT IS THIS YOU SPEAK OF, MARAIA?? IS IT REAL??? I’ve never heard of purple sweet potatoes.
*whispers* I’ve been given the Royal Wedding to review but I haven’t read any of the other books. Is it going to make sense for me?? >_<
Oh man, you HAVE to try them if you like sweet potatoes. They’re called Okinawan sweet potatoes and are white-ish/tan-ish on the outside and brilliant purple on the inside. Don’t let the ugly exterior fool you. They’re basically like candy, except they’re healthy.
Hmm. You won’t know ANY of the history or the characters, obviously, but I think the story is still complete enough that it would make sense. I also think reading a physical copy will be better, because the audio narrator made Michael Moskowitz (a.k.a. the best part of the series) sound like a creepy old man, and it totally ruined him for me. Also, it’s a quick, breezy read, so it won’t take you long. Mia’s immaturity and pettiness has always irritated me, though, and I was hoping she’d have grown up by now.
*adds purple sweet potatoes to bucket list*
I’ve seen the Princess Diary movies. >_< But I've heard they're not particularly similar, buuuuut, hopefully it'll give me the JIST of the backstory, right?! I assume she dumped the highschool boyfriend in the movie then, lol. I'LL GIVE IT A TRY. (This is why unsolicited review-books can be kind of panicking, lol)
Yeah, it’s definitely got the basic idea. EXCEPT that the grandmother in the movie is Julie Andrews and awesome, where as the grandma in the books is mean and cranky. I think Mia does dump Michael in the second movie, but the second movie has absolutely nothing to do with the books, haha.
You could always give the unsolicited books away! (That’s easier said than done, I’m sure.)
Omg, really?! I guess Julie Andrews just makes grumpy characters more awesome ALL THE TIME, because I found that the same with Mary Poppins. Have you read the original? *shudders* Marry Poppins is so callous and cruel and awful. Julie Andrews acting makes Mary Poppins SUPER NICE compared to the book version. Gah.
Ahem. I digress.
(I would give away the books it’s just postage suuuucks in Australia and I be poor. *hangs head*)
I’ve run out of replies hahahaha.
I don’t think I even knew Mary Poppins was a book, embarrassing as that is. I guess I should have known – the best movies are always based off of books! I love Julie Andrews, though.
I was thinking more along the lines of giving them to your library, but maybe they don’t take ARCs. As exciting as it would be to get ARCs from publishers, I think my life is probably a lot less stressful without them.
Actually I had NOT thought of that…I could totally give them to my library. I get a lot of actual finished copies so that’d work too (I could donate them) but then I kind of dream of building an igloo from books and living in it, so yes. *shrugs* WE SHALL SEE. (I at least want to build a throne of books at some point.)
I fully support your book igloo dream. I would come visit you. (That’s a much better idea than ice. I hate being cold.)
*coughs* *coughs* WELL EXCUSE ME CAIT.
Anyway, these are absolutely hilarious. My favorites have to be the ones for The Hunger Games and These Broken Stars, but really, all of them are absolutely fantastic. (Although TBH I’m disappointed you didn’t do one for Dangerous Girls. Haha – maybe next time. 😉 )
Fabulous post Cait and thanks for sharing!
Zoe @ Stories on Stage recently posted…The Secrets We Keep
HAHAHA THIS IS PERFECT. YOU’RE AWESOME. Love the Percy Jackson and Red Queen one. AND RAVEN BOYS. LIFE.
An Ember in the Ashes: Love triangles, love squares don’t exist. It’s all a messed up love tangle with too many knots and snarles. In conclusion: love is complicated as hell.
Harry Potter: your extreme mood swings can be explained by a greater force other than puberty.
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OMG THANK YOU. XD Ohhhh I want to read an Ember in the Ashes so bad (!!) and BAHAHAHA the Harry Potter was perfect.
I love this, you are so funny. I find all of these incredibly useful, I could of told you that you can exist on peanut butter.
I will give this a shot.
The Raven Boys- Aquamarine is a wonderful color and your quiet friend just might be dead.
Neverwhere- Avoid homeless people, and doors, and people named Door.
Lord of the Rings- don’t be dramatic, just ask for help from an eagle.
Ink heart Trilogy- Reading is a dangerous venture.
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I think I could exist on peanut butter too. JUST SOMEONE GIVE ME THE CHANCE. *plans life on peanut butter*
HA. Yes to LOTR. OMG. *laughs until cries*
I absofrickinlutely LOVE We Were Liars. Stunning. Anyway, I totally agree with the Divergent moral. Food before everything.
Erin @ The Book Archive recently posted…The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater
I LOVE WE WERE LIARS TOO ALTHOUGH IT KIND OF BROKE MY MIND. *hyperventilates just thinking about it*
I KNOW! Excuse me while I go sit in a corner and think about my life…
Erin @ The Book Archive recently posted…The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater
I am in LOVE with this post. Let me see:
The Cage: interspecies dating is really no big deal.
The Winner’s Curse: It is FINE to buy people as long as you secretly love them.
Unwind: See, NO ONE’s parents want them when they are teenagers!
Half Bad: See, the glass really IS Half Empty.
Dangerous Girls: No one is really your friend
The Hunger Games: If you can’t beat ’em, poison ’em!
That’s all I’ve got for now but this is basically one of the best posts of all time, Cait. Of ALL TIME.
Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight recently posted…This Week At Midnight (66)
OMG THE WINNER’S CURSE. AHHHHH YES. Totally makes slavery okay. *nods* And The Hunger Games is entirely painfully accurate.
I wish I had something fabulous to say to this, but nope, I just loved it completely. SO GOOD<3
Amanda @ Beautiful Bookish Butterflies recently posted…Book Review – Maxon
‘THE FAULT IN OUR STARS — teaches us authors aren’t super-humans and instead can be super-disappointing.” This probably also applies to John Green #SeeWhatIDidThere
Love squares are the next best thing since sliced bread. We want variety, we need choices here authors. In fact, why not have every love interest as part of a bachelor type scenario, where even in a dystopian turns into a sappy romance. Wait… What?
Stolen: Hang onto your parents hands at all times. Even if you’re in your 30’s.
Splintered: When presented with a moth as a potential love interest. CHOOSE. THE. MOTH.
Kelly recently posted…Afterlight by Rebecca Lim
NO NOOOO IT DOESN’T APPLY TO JOHN GREEN. HE IS WONDERFUL AND MOSTLY PERFEC. *ahem*
Oh but totally. We need more love squares. And love hexagons. I mean, look at the Maze Runner. One girl and thirty boys. Or is that Peter Pan? Either way. It’s totally getting more popular. *nods*
I AGREE WITH YOUR ASSESSMENT OF STOLEN.
I LOVE The Scorpio Races! And good point- there ARE worse things than failing NaNoWriMo. Out of the three times I’ve participated, I’ve never been a winner. *Quietly sobs*
All I want is to write! Whyyyy am I so blocked? D:
BEING A WRITER IS A TOUGH THING. *pats back*
Wish there were more writer’s groups out there. Camp NaNoWriMo is soon and that’s my favorite because you can set your own goals and I love the cabins. BUT I’VE FAILED IT THREE TIMES.
dude…I was with you and chuckling throughout this whole list…until I got to We Were Liars. Ouch. All my feels have returned.
Ely recently posted…reality boy {a book review}
*pats back and hands consolatory chocolate* I will never ever recover from that one.
Cait this post is absolutely genius! So many awesome life lessons and I love how you noticed the ones especially about food <3 I laughed so much at Dear Killer, and a shame you didn't enjoy TFIOS as much! I'm still undecided about love squares, but if they're just going to end up the same anyway then there is no point. I mean it's hard enough to find ONE person to love you, but 2? Nope, just unrealistic.
Jeann @ Happy Indulgence recently posted…Chatterbox: I want a social media “off” button
WAIT WAIT. I LOVED TFIOS!! I LOOOOOVED IT!! I meant, how Van Huten was so disappointing to Hazel and Gus. >_< I probably wounded like I thought John Green was disappointing. ZOMG. Massive mistake there. XD
Cute psychos? Oh gods, I probably laughed harder than I should have. 😀 I haven’t read all of those, but I can relate to some. The TFIOS item is totally spot-on, though. Fabulous post, Cait! 🙂
Julie @ Books and Insomnia recently posted…[ARC MINI-REVIEW] Tangled Webs by Lee Bross
Aw, thanks, Julie!!
Cinder’s was right on target! XD As well as Divergent. Always the food first.
I’d say The Lightning Thief says if you’re impertinent to the gods, it pays off. Also all all the baddies just want a little attention, a belly-rub, and a rubber ball to fetch.
Your Hunger Games one is fairly accurate, except that I would say it teaches you to suspect EVERYONE!
The Book Thief says that books solve all your problems (but we already know this). Plus, life is short, kiss the boy. . . after he shows commitment to your books.
Ashley G. recently posted…Beautiful People: The Parents
Yes, someone give the baddies attention. THEY JUST WANT A HUG. Or to stab you in the eyeball, but…huuugs.
…kiss the boy…*bursts into tears* THANKS FOR BRINGING UP THAT TRAUMA FOR ME TO RELIVE, ASHLEY.
Love square? Well, that’s what Shakespeare already did in a Summer Night’s Dream? 😀
Inkheart teaches, that you’re not the only one who is ready to kill for books
The true meaning of Smekday teaches you, that sometimes the assumed sign that you’re the one to save the galaxy is actually taco sauce. And that all Americans could possibly live in the United State of America.
And Charlie and the Chocolate Factory teaches you to be a good child or otherwise you will be dumped in chocolate.
Windsprite recently posted…“Dark Life” and “Rip Tide” -Kat Falls
BAHAHA I LOVE THESE. Inkheart’s is so so true…and Charlie and the Chocolate Factor. :O That book is kind of disturbing if you start to really think about it. (Actually all Roald Dahl’s books are. Probably why I love them so much…heh.)
I internally snort over your Cinder comment. I found it so odd that she was the best mechanic in the province and yet she just thumped everything.
I don’t know how Narnia didn’t crumble within an instant. The evil folks could have just been like, okay, right well Aslan and those pesky children have just conquered the old plan and disappeared again so lets go in and take over now. They never come back for at least 50 years so we should be fine. I mean, maybe they should have taken a chance!
This is a wholly excellent post, Cait. Pretty sure it’s my favourite. HAIL CAIT HAIL CAIT SHE IS QUEEN.
And we all know that when Romi says someone is queen, that’s the end of it.
Romi recently posted…A Q&A and a giveaway! (Open AUS)
ZOMG. ROMI HAS DELCARED MY QUEENESS. :’) YOU ARE CLEARLY MY FAVOURITE NOW. And, agreed. If I had evil intentions
which I totally never doI would’ve swooped into eat Narnia so many times.This is hilarious. And so true! Why go searching for deeper meanings in books? This is the true meaning. Way to go for not looking for cliches!
shar@weavingwaveswords recently posted…beautiful pictures
PFFT. These totally are the deeper meanings. None of those goopy friendship/bravery/love themes, bah. FOOD BEFORE FAMILY.
I can never write a long comment on your site, Cait. Your awesome is just *bows down* How do you even come up with all this? TEACH ME YOUR WAYS
Shannelle recently posted…Leigh Bardugo in Manila
RISE, MY WONDROUS FRIEND. hehehe. I DON’T KNOW?! My brain is just a strange strange little place. XD
I love this post. That is all.
Inge @ Bookshelf Reflections recently posted…The Happy Ever Afterlife of Rosie Potter by Kate Winter
GOOD. I AM ENTIRELY PLEASED.
THIS IS EVERYTHING. But just in case you need one more maxim: Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda teaches us that Oreo is a food group on its own. And that’s LEGIT.
Shelumiel @ Bookish and Awesome recently posted…EVENT: Leigh Bardugo’s Book Signing in Manila
I need that book. OMG I NEED THAT BOOK. Because food.
Actually I saw you joined an AUS giveaway for this and I WILL PRAY TO ALL THE GODS, OLD AND NEW, THAT YOU WIN. Also, I know you’ll get that reference. 😉
Shelumiel @ Bookish and Awesome recently posted…EVENT: Leigh Bardugo’s Book Signing in Manila
I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE. hehe. And yes, praaaay. Because I have never ever won a goodreads giveaway yet. Maybe this will be my lucky moment?!!
I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are all so true and all so funny. The We Were Liars one is just so spot on and soooo funny. It also makes me want to go reread that book and cry some more at how unfair it all is. And also get angry and how stupid kids can be!!!
Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm recently posted…A Colleen Hoover Mini Review Extravaganza!
My favorite is the lesson from The Scorpio Races 🙂 I feel like I should reply without coming up with my own overlooked lesson from a book. But I started this comment at 7:26am and it is now 3:01pm and I have worked a great deal in between. My brain doesn’t feel like being clever (boo!)
If I were to learn an overlooked lesson, however, it’d likely be from Lion Heart by A.C. Gaughen since that’s the most recent book I read. It’d probably be to always have lots of friends. And kiss the hot guy any chance you get because you never know when someone is going to try to kill you. Or maybe… be careful who you marry.
eh, I give up on being clever! Back to work brain!
Annie recently posted…101 Things
Don’t ever change, Cait. This is HILARIOUS (and out of the ones I’ve read, so true too). I really love the Divergent one as well. Food > everything.
Holly J recently posted…Blog Tour and Review: Faking Perfect by Rebecca Phillips