Hello. I am a bookworm. I like to have a book with me at all times.
Some people might call this ridiculous or obsessive but BAH. I am here to laugh in their faces and give you an excellent list of reasons why you should ALWAYS take a book with you. They are fabulously logical reasons and you’ve probably experience many already.
Ignore the haters. Always bring a book.
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- YOU MIGHT GET BORED AND NEED ENTERTAINMENT. Don’t underestimate how crippling it can be to be bored and stranded without anything to do. If you have a book, you can redeem the time, keep your brain busy, and let people around you know you’re literate. Which is always nice.
No one will ever say this to you. #win
- YOU MIGHT NEED TO REACH SOMETHING ON A VERY HIGH SHELF. If you are short, like me, and something is out of your reach — well — VOILA! A book will solve all your problems. Simply stand on it and be taller. It’s handy to carry around books by George RR Marin or Brandon Sanderson for this purpose. Both those authors are intent on writing books that are cubes of thickness.
- YOU MIGHT GET ATTACKED BY ZOMBIES AND NEED TO DEFEND YOURSELF. This happens all the time and it’s so annoying. Take a book. Be weaponised intelligently.
- THERE MIGHT BE “WANTED” POSTERS FOR YOU AROUND TOWN AND IF YOU PUT A BOOK IN FRONT OF YOUR FA
CE, IT DOUBLES AS AN EXCELLENT DISGUISE. I’m not prying about why you’re wanted, but these things happen, and I’m 99% sure the world still uses posters like in Tangled. A book is grand disguise and will cover your face most efficiently.
- NO ONE CAN ACCUSE YOU OF BEING WICKED. Because you know that good ol’ Lemony Snicket quote…
“Wicked people never have time for reading. It’s one of the reasons for their wickedness.”
You are not guilty.
- IT CAN HELP YOU STOP WASTING WORDS. When you’re strolling about with friends/family/poisonous-reptiles and they irritatingly say, “So what are you doing this weekend?” you don’t need to waste a single breath. Simply whip your book out and smack it in their face so they can read the title. Ta da! Question = solved.
- IT CAN SIMPLY BE AN ACCESSORY. People carry around phones all the time, and small bags of snacks, and even pet pocket crocodiles. Why can’t you carry a book?
- IT CAN SAVE SEATS! If you’re in the cinema or a restaurant, you can put a book on a chair to save it for someone — or simply to stop anyone sitting near you because that’s seriously annoying. Personal bubble. C’mon, humans.
- IF YOU GOT CAUGHT IN A BLIZZARD YOU COULD SEW CLOTHING OUT OF THE PAGES. I’m not sure how warm this would be and you’d also need to carry scissors and thread, but you could do it. Don’t be a doubter.
- AND IF YOU WERE REALLY DESPERATE YOU COULD PROBABLY EAT IT. I don’t know?? Could it help you survive?? I think so??? I’m not sure how tasty it would be, but giraffes eat trees and books are trees and I refer to many humans as giraffes so I can foresee this working.
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FIRST! XD
LOLLLLLL on the sewing pages of books to become clothing!!!! xD
Ohhh, for all my love of books I COULD NOT eat them! I DRAW A LINE. Especially a second hand book. EW.
NOT EVEN TO SURVIVE? OMG ELLA. A BOOK COULD SAVE YOU BY BEING EATEN. THINK ABOUT IT NOW.
*awards you copious amounts of cake for first commenter again* I SWEAR. YOU ARE THE BEST.
These are all great reasons. I prefer to buy books in a smaller size just so they can fit in my handbag. If anyone wants to drag me along shopping, I will definitely bring a book. Who needs to read clothing tags when you have a book? Another reason (a bit like your wanted poster one) is to hide from conversations. If someone you know comes along, just hide your face from them with your beautiful book, and they’ll never know you’re there!
AGH. YES. This speaks to me on a spiritual level. Plus clothing tags are so depressing and books are so much more fun. And yessss…if one only had a book big enough they could just disappear behind it COMPLETELY and never be disturbed. < -- goals.
BAHAHAHAHA your posts never fail to amuse me. Also, where are you getting these pocket crocodiles? Can I have one? But yes, I commonly accessorise my outfits with books 😉
EVERYONE NEEDS A POCKET CROCODILE. I want one and I will call it Frank.
See, some days you title your posts “Why Do I Unfollow Blogs?” and it’s a perfectly reasonable and in-depth discussion. And then you have this title, which really isn’t that different, so I click through expecting several normal reasons and instead I get one normal reason and these other less-normal but MUCH MORE FANTASTIC reasons. So kudos to you, Cait, because seriously, these were funny. My favourite one is probably the Wanted Poster one, although it just seems to be that every one of your non-serious lists include zombie apocalypses. Do you know something we don’t? ;P
PS: I am not an expert on digestive stuff, but if the ink isn’t particularly poisonous, the paper is basically tree bark and tree bark is basically fiber so it would help you feel less hungry but it would not give you nutrients.
HAHA TWO PEOPLE HAVE SAID THIS NOW AND I’M JUST SITTING IN THE CORNER FEELING SMUGLY PLEASED WITH MYSELF. You never know what I’m going to post about on this blog. Mwahhaa ha. ha. *ahem* I AM DIVERGENT I CANNOT BE DEFINED NOR CONTROLLED OR — wait. I can be controlled by cake. Yes. Darn.
ANYWAY. Pfft, your’e fun at parties, aren’t you? Even if it’s not nutritious IT MIGHT STILL HELP YOU SURVIVE! HUZZAH! And tbh, my giraffe analogy probably doesn’t even float at all, *sigh* but we try to ignore logic/details in posts like this.
I love your reasons!
Carrying a book with you can totally save you from disastrous situations!
Very funny post, Cait!
Aw, thank you! 😀 AND BOOKS SAVE LIVES FOR SURE.
Oh I am laughing so hard. It is only on a very dreadful and rare occasion that I forget to bring a book. I so agree with the accessory bit, I have this particular book (reading Like a Writer) that I end up carrying around instead of reading it almost every time I go to read a chapter of it, it is just perfect for holding.
Omg, books that are perfect for holding = life. Some books are jolly uncomfortable to hold so I TOTALLY GET THIS.
Sometimes I really can’t understand whether you’re serious or you’re joking!:) One day you have a pretty serious post, and then on other days….. I think it’s because your clones have different personalities from each other! Which clone wrote this post? Or was it Atticus?:)
Anyway, I loved this post! I always carry a book with me – at least in the form of my ereader, so that I won’t be bored and mostly because it will help me avoid unnecessary conversation. Polite talks are the worst things ever! I do this mostly when I go to weddings! I often end up sitting in a chair next to some old woman who knows me, but unfortunately one I can’t recognize. Books help me a lot in these situations!
I agree with most of them, except the last. EAT THE BOOKS? ARE YOU CRAZY? Now I am sure that it was Atticus who wrote this post!
I AM ALWAYS SERIOUS. IT IS ME. I NEVER JOKE. Nope. *nods* hehe But someone else mentioned that in another comment too, so ZOMG I DON’T EVEN KNOW. THE WEEKEND CLONE IS MORE CHEEKY THAN THE WEEKDAY CLONE? There’s always one dodgy clone that never knows what it’s talking about…but we try not to encourage it.
Agh, weddings. *shudders* I loathe weddings with the fire of a thousand suns and have sworn never to go to one again. Small talk is evil. IT IS.
Haha! These are all brilliant and excellent reasons to carry a book around with you, their always useful 😉
But I would probably never eat a book because I wouldn’t be able to use it later on or be able to read it…. What happens if I was hungry and I ate the book and then later on to survive I would have to get to a really high shelf that I can’t reach because I’m short and then I have nothing to help me because I had my book for dinner. Or what if I ate it and then became bored – I couldn’t do anything because I had eaten my book!
Moral – never eat a book, you’ll be really sad afterwards!
PARTICULARLY DEFENDING YOURSELF AGAINST THOSE DARN PESKY ZOMBIES.
Okay, okay, that is true. Carry two books always? One for desperate-times-snacking? and the other for a stepladder?
I love yours lists!
All such valid and practical points, too. Especially the one about disguising yourself. Excellent idea! I may use that one. Not that I’m wanted or anything. No, no.
I’m short so using books to reach things would probably help. Though I’d probably need quite a few books.
I bring a book with me almost everywhere I go. Because I always seem to be able to find time to read it. With my family, you never know where you might be going, so having a book helps.
I was just carrying Well of Ascension around with me the other day. I read at the pottery studio.
My motto is just that you should ALWAYS bring a book with you because you never know where you’ll end up. You could be stuck in traffic for two hours or waiting at a doctors office or on a shuttle headed for the moon. In either instance, you’ll be there a while and having a book is absolutely crucial.
Olivia @ Fluttering Pages
Okay. So I accidentally commented twice and I have no idea what’s happening. I don’t function properly this early in the morning.
OH THAT IS OKAY. XDD I just deleted the other comment (it was probably my blog being weird, tbh…it does odd things now and again as a defiant tantrum).
AWK BUT THANK YOU. Lists = my life. XD And pfft, I can see straight through your pretences now. OF COURSE YOU ARE WANTED. Keep hiding behind that book. *pats shoulder* You can do it. I believe in you.
Oh oh, I don’t trust my family either so I ALWAYS TAKE A BOOK. I mean, they might say it’s just a day outing…but aliens might come for us, and I might get bored = aka I need to bring a book always.
I bring a book to pass time while waiting for public transport. I also bring a book to distract myself because I’m a pretty anxious person and sometimes I just need to shut off my brain and I can do that with a book.
I admire you for being so inspired and your ability to come up with posts like these. This was amazing!
YES. Books are great for anxiety too…it’s like a good way to centre yourself, right?!
Yesss I always have a book (or rather, Kindle) with me so I am never bored. They also make such good conversation starters! And they help me identify who the super awesome people are in a room full of strangers hehe. Unfortunately I can’t eat my kindle and it will be absolutely useless as clothing or a height booster! Boo!!
OMG YOU DOUBTER. You could totally chew your kindle…all those tasty wires and plastic and things. *nods* It could happen in dire need.
I always bring book or kindle with me wherever I go. I regularly read when waiting on my tram and than traveling to/from work. Or when waiting in queue in post office or store. Or when I am getting my hair dyed. Basically, I always read while out of house and have noone with me to talk to 🙂
Basically you are awesome and utilise ALL THE SPARE MOMENTS WITH A BOOK and therefore you are the most admirable. *bows to you*
And if you want to get high, just inhale those fresh pages. Haha! But usually I just stick to bringing books along for entertainment and as an accessory. And okay, whipping it out to avoid talking. It’s dependably effective. I’d love to try sewing clothing out of pages one time. 😉
OMG THAT ONE TOO. I love sniffing books. AM NOT ASHAMED (though, granted, it looks weird). hehe
YES YES YES OMG. I bring a book with me everywhere. And so does my mother, haha (reading runs in the family, obviously.) I find that I read A LOT in the car–thank god I don’t get car sick–and it’s a really good for long drives especially. Last book I took out with me? GRAVITY by Melissa West. ^_^
Omg, that is so cool that reading runs in your family though. MINE TOO. Well, mostly. I don’t think my dad’s touched a novel since high-school, but my mum is a notoriously vivacious reader. I inherited that. :’)
haha yes this is so me. Because if you get lost, then you’ll always have a friend with you. I almost always read out of the house as well as inside the house, because I read everywhere, and I often read at school, and sometimes misplace my book, because it’s never in my bag. I’m reading Revolution by Jennifer Donelly right now. Books are great accessories. The other day I was telling my brother how my nails matched my book matched my skirt and he told me he hadn’t noticed (i wasn’t heartbroken, don’t worry) Books are marvellous all the time 🙂
OMG. YES TO ACCESSORISE AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY MATCH. It’s just like the ultimate awesomeness to read a book that matches you. And pfft, brothers don’t see anything, do they? Hopeless creations.
IT’S SO FUNNY CAIT. And also true. Okay, I actually *rarely* bring my novel to school because my bag is already heavy with textbooks (there’s no locker in my school. So cruel) but I always bring my phone to read an e-book. Better have one than none, right? (though I can’t use it to defend myself from zombies)
THAT IS STILL GOOD. I do that. Well, I bring my iPod/Kindle because what is a person to do if they’re not “supposed” to bring books with them?? It’s definitely possible to sneak it in your pocket and sneakily read under the table or something. You will probably die of zombies tho. RIP.
Oh my gravy! You had me laughing my head off. Especially with the part about using a book as a stepstool. Must start carrying around The Lord of the Rings.
Also, eating a book? HOW DARE YOU!
BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY REALLY HUNGRY. IT COULD WORK. Also. yes. I need LOTR just to help my height-challenged life, tbh. (I swear people put things in high cupboards just to spite me.)
Yes, Cait, yes! You are a genius, but you already know that.
I recently went on holiday and carried books with my everywhere. Yes, my back ached more for carrying around three books and a Kindle, but I was never bored when we were waiting for boats, or waiting for people to finish lunch. I stormed through Magnolia (OMG, MAGONIA! I can’t even…) in a few boat trips.
WHY THANK YOU. :’) I TOTALLY DID KNOW THAT. *tosses hair majestically* It’s just who I am to be genius.
ahem.
ALSO. GO YOU. The pain just equals = dedicated bookworm, tbh. Or else you can cry and have a useful sister on hand to carry all your things. That’s what I do. that’s the only reason I keep sisters.
YES TO THIS LIST ALL THE WAY! Another use for GRRM’s books would be for lifting! I mean, look at those TOMES and tell me I’m wrong. Come on now. Also? “Simply whip your book out and smack it in their face so they can read the title. Ta da! Question = solved.” This made me snigger! STOP. Also also? I’m slightly dubious about carrying a book/reading easily equating not-wicked. There are literate demons… I’M JUST SAYING. And lastly, I’d add that books can be protections against annoying humans who wouldn’t shut up. Just crack up a book and OBVIOUSLY point out to the said monster, er, human that you’re in fact reading. Presto! Very neat.
YOU ARE NOT WRONG. Especially in hardcover. OMG. CAN YOU IMAGINE? Just reading them gives me wrist strength anyway. (Although I am a wimp and only have the paperbacks.) And OKAY. I guess you can be villainous AND literate but, psht, we cannot question the Lemony Snicket logic.
Ooo! Don’t forget it’s a handy tool of escaping social situations! That’s like my #1 reason I bring books with me.
And I love this post so much. XD
YES! It’s basically like having a child or pet, “Excuse me, I need to go see if my book is happy.” And then off you go. #win
I AGREE WITH ALL THESE REASONS. I’ve only used the first reason, but all of them are good.
Last book I took with me… Eye of the World by Robert Jordan. I have not finished it and gave actually put it back in the shelf for now (it’s also a good book for short pineapples to utilize). BUT I DID FINISH STIEFVATER’S SHIVER THE OTHER DAY AND OH MY HOLY PLOT BUNNIES IT WAS FABULOUS.
ZOMBIES ARE COMING. I’VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR NEARLY FOREVER. BUT IT’S GONNA HAPPEn. That or the tree apocalypse first. FAJDSLKAD I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKE SHIVER THOUGH!! I just reread Forever and omgiosh. Feels. So many feels. Sam is my darling and Cole is my darlinger darling.
SAM IS AWESOME. He wins BEST BOYFRIEND AWARD. Because he wanted to buy Grace a book. That gets top marks in my book. *nods*
I haven’t met Cole yet. Soon…
YES. SAM GETS ALL THE AWARDS BECAUSE OF HIS NERDY BOOKISHNESS AND HIS ADORABLENESS AND JUST EVERYTHINGNESS. HE TAKES GRACE ON DATES TO BUY CHOCOLATE AND BOOKS, LIKE, THIS BOY. OMG.
YES YES YES.
On that note, we now know what Cait wants in a boy. XP
Oh yes it is definitely very important to carry books around with you wherever you go. There is nothing worse than being stuck somewhere, waiting around bored. At my doctor’s office it can take up to two hours before you get in to see a doctor and I see people just sitting there for that whole time doing nothing. What a waste. You can get so much reading done in two hours.
I like to carry around smaller books rather than epics. They do start to get heavy after awhile and my handbag is always full of junk.
I love it when I’m out and I see someone reading. I always sneak a peak at the cover and get a bit excited when they are reading an awesome book I approve of.
Awesome post.
Omg 2 hours?! THAT IS INSANE AND FRUSTRATING. Books are definitely needed in those situations. *nods* And it is undistracted reading time I guuuuesss…. And smaller books are definitely more manageable, but I daresay if you keep up that practise you WILL get eaten by a zombie someday, Rochelle. Just sayin’.
YEEEEES I love all these reasons. Especially the one about eating books; I sometimes feel like an awkward, gangly giraffe, so it might work! 😛
The last book I read out of the house was a three-in-one volume of Tsubasa manga series. The series is about inter-dimensional travel and finding someone’s lost memories…which happen to be scattered across the dimensions. It’s really good and the art is GORGEOUS. 😀
Yes, I feel occasionally like a giraffe too, so therefore I’m 99% sure I could survive being stuck on a deserted island because I could’ve eaten books.
LOL Some of these are perfect! How about you can ignore people when reading, especially those chatty ones when you are waiting.
And you can squash a spider by throwing the book at it. Just remember to wipe off the goo afterwards!
Omggg YES. I have killed spiders with books before!! That should TOTALLY have been on this list!!
wHoA. It’s like you totally understand me! Whenever I go anywhere I usually bring a book, especially to places like doctor’s offices where I’ll have to wait. But even when I go to a friend’s house to sleepover- you never know when you might want to read! Like, what if I wake up earlier than everyone else? I’ll would be bored, but not if I have a book with me!! 🙂
I DO UNDERSTAND YOU. WE’RE CONNECTED, HOLLY. WE ARE SISTERS THROUGH THE LOVE OF BOOKS. *collapses dramatically*
These are all so legitimate and helpful. Books can also protect you from strangers. For example, if there is a scary man staring at you on the subway, just pull out your “Advanced Killing Techniques With Krav Maga” book and flip to the very end. He might think twice.
Omg, yes. Also everyone needs to own a book with that title. Or just have, like, a fake dust jacket that can slip onto ANY book. Also you can smack said creepy man in the face with book if need be.
LOL! I’ve been caught with a book open in my lap under the table in restaurants SO many times. Luckily, my husband’s family is super nice and my family knows me well enough to expect it by now. 🙂
OMG THAT IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA. I’ve read under tables with my kindle before, but people assume that I’m texting. Which is apparently more socially acceptable than reading?? SERIOUSLY? the world is unfair.
Oh my gosh!! 🙂 I love reading your posts! You are definitely a talented writer! My favorite was using it as a disguise to cover your face! 🙂 LOL! Hilarious post!!
I’M SURE THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO USE IT AS DISGUISE. I’m sure it keeps many booknerds out of prison.
Hehehe this was hilarious. Weirdly, this post made me realise that I hardly ever carry books out anymore. I’ll listen to music while walking to settle my mind (usually in panic b/c of anxiety o_o) but this time last year I ALWAYS had a book in my bag. Although GP appointments… always.
Great post!
Listening to music is fabulous, too, *nods* Although if I have earbuds in it’s usually a book. BUT STILL. I love that there are so many mediums to be an intense book nerd on.
Finally! A portible weapon against zombies! The world would be ok again.
I love this list! So many uses for books that you’ve never even thought of before. I don’t get how anyone could call books stupid after reading this. And those who do will be forced to cover their face with one as i will be hunting them down with a zombie book bat.
Unfortunetly, while books are good for plenty of things, they won’t get some annoying person to stop talking to you. Even if your head is deep within the pages, at least one person always thinks your up for a chit chat and will start randomly telling their life story, unaware that your busy. I speak from personal experience. The same goes with earplugs.
EXACTLY! And it doubles as so many other useful things too. When the apocalypse comes, the bookshops are going to be sold out, I tell you.
Agh, yes. Some people insist on think their words are more important than books. Seriously. Utterly deluded. I suppose you could always smack them in the face with a book, but then I guess there are repercussions for being an uber violent bookworm. *sighs heavily* I guess you could always use the excuse, “Omg, I am so sorry. I thought you were a zombie!” and get away with it. < -- solid plan
“Never trust anyone who hasn’t brought a book with them.”-Lemony Snicket. I’m sure you remember this lovely quote well. If not, then yes totally matches the post, love it.
CAIT. THIS POST. THIS. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I SAW IT IN MY EMAIL, AND IT WAS LIKE HEARING ANGELS IN THE BACKGROUND, OMGGGGGGG. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
AHEM. I especially like the slapping the book you’re reading for the weekend into the person’s face, LOL. I can see you doing this.
I always bring a book with me, ever since I was, like, 5. You should bring about a book because you need it to survive. I mean, the basics of survival are obviously: food, water, shelter, and BOOKS. SO YOU CANNOT LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT ONE. So, yes, I do always bring a book.
I have been in the situations of being bored, needing to save a seat, and fighting off zombies, obviously. Ugh, such a hassle.
Hm, Mosquitoland by David Arnold, maybe.
GREAT POST, YOU BOOK DRAGON, YOU.
YES. THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUOTE TOO. I had to pick between that and the Wicked Lemony Snicket quote but otherwise I should’ve just let Lemony Snicket roam over my post. HE TRULY IS THE BEST.
AFJDLKSA REALLY? OKAY. YOU’RE JUST MAKING MY DAY, WESAUN. OMG. <3
I can definitely be accused of being an occasional violent bookworm. I threw a book that angered me once. I've yet to use one against zombies, but I just know the time is coming.
I actually think that the reason my purse is falling apart is because I ALWAYS have a book with me. Possibly two. Basically however many I can shove into my purse without the seams splitting. I need like a backpack or something because apparently purses aren’t meant to carry books.
OR A SMALL SUITCASE WITH WHEELS YES?
THIS. I may or may not have packed five or six books when I went on my missions trip to the Dominican Republic a few weeks ago…and they all went in the backpack that I had to lug around the airport and such. (One of them was Les Miserables, which is literally nicknamed “the brick” by fans because that’s about how thick it is.) BUT I HAVE NO REGRETS. I brought Scorpio Races and The Knife of Never Letting Go and Bruiser and such and I was well-entertained. I very much believe in bringing books everywhere.
YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE IN BOOKS THOUGH. *hugs The Scorpio Races* OH and that is me whenever I go on trips/holidays. I totally take more books than clothes. #noregrets
Oh my goodness I totally died laughing while reading this. You’re such a genius, Cait!! <33
I'm notoriously bad for not taking books with me when out in public and I regret it EVERY SINGLE TIME. However, I do always have my phone on me, and I have the Kindle app, so it's not that bad. When I'm at school and I have a few minutes, I'll start reading, so I look like the classic "wow I have so many friends texting me right now" teenager staring at her phone, but in reality, I'm reading. See what I do there??
But I'll have to start bringing a physical book with me, because um, zombies?? I didn't even think about that. Also I definitely need the book as a weapon or something against all those annoying people.
Love love loved this post, thanks so much for writing it. <33
I KNOW I AM A GENIUS. *flips hair majestically* I just can’t help but post these kind of lists of truths.
OH YES. Kindle apps are lifesavers too, especially since they can fit nicely in one’s pocket. *nods* Omg, YES. I’ve been accused of texting before when I sas actually reading. ha. Talk to people when I could be reading? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.
Zombies for sure. The threat is real. Be prepared.
I haven’t read a book out of the house in years! I think the last time was probably when I had a really long commute into work by bus. I had to train myself not to get pukey while reading in a moving vehicle. But it was worth it; doing the same 1.5-hour drive every morning along the same route gets really boring really fast if you don’t have a way to occupy yourself!
Most of the books I read now are e-books. Not sure how I’d eat one of those. I’m sure chewing on an e-reader would release all sorts of lovely toxins. Bleh.
Omg, but but but what if you get attacked by a zombie?? WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN, HMMM????
Okay but I admit defeat that it might not be wise to chew a kindle. *sigh* If you’re stuck in a dire situation with only a kindle, you’re just gonna starve. RiP.
With the chance of sounding very British: this post is bloody brilliant Cait! Yet again you amaze me with the hilarious things you come up with. The world need more bloggers like you. Greeting WORLD RULER!
*flips hair regally* WELL. I APPROVE OF THIS COMMENT JUST ABOUT 100000%. YOU CLEARLY ARE THE BESTEST TO REALISE MY FABULOUS WORLD-RULER POTENTIAL.
I always do. Even when I have a tiny handbag with me I usually have a tote bag with a book with me. Kinda defeats the purpose of the tiny handbag but ah well.
A bookworm must do, what a bookworm MUST DO, AMIRITE?!!
omo Cait, you are the most hilarious human to ever XD
THIS PLEASES ME, LISA.
THAT WAS KIND OF THE POINT SO YAY I AM HAPPY XD
Lol, “cinema.” Sorry, I distracted myself.
Er, don’t you mean you could use the book to start a fire if you get stranded in a blizzard? (If we’re already talking about destroying it, that is.)
Cait, I can’t believe you forgot the most important one: Books are great for avoiding awkward situations. If you’re waiting for someone to show up but don’t want to look like you’ve been stood up. Or, even better, if you’re in a public place and don’t want people to start talking to you. Books can be great buffers.
I’ve definitely needed books to save myself from boredom (doctors love to keep you waiting) and to save seats. I’m not sure I’ve needed the other ones, but there’s still time. Being a bookworm is a life-long condition. 😀
I don’t even know what I read last out of the house. To be honest, I usually rely on my smartphone these days. I figure if I catch up on Twitter while out and about, I’ll have more time to read when I get home!
Omg, you don’t say cinema?? DID I SAY A WORD THAT NEEDS TRANSLATING???
Oh, I GUESS we could start fires if you want to be super malicious. Gawsh. Burning books. I would rather sew them into clothes because at least you could still read your arm, or leg, or something.
AND YES I DID FORGET THAT. Omg, that one is so important. Also = it’s very wise to meet in a bookish place. That just saves so much pain and problems.
Haha, no, we say “movie theater.” With an -er instead of an -re. We’re such rebels. 😉
Very true. I would probably freeze to death before I burned a book, but hopefully we’ll never find out!
Ooh, that’s a good idea. From now on I should only agree to leave the house to socialize if said socializing can take place in a library or bookstore. And if the person I’m meeting promises to buy me a book. I think this will work brilliantly. (Of course, I’ll never leave my house again…)
Yes, you are rebels. Just ignoring EVERYTHING ENGLAND STANDS UPON, WHY DONTCHA. *huffs*
Yes! I always hit myself when I forget to bring a book places, and then I have to sit around and listen to people talk or do nothing… So mind numbingly boring! It is ALWAYS okay to take a book places. Pocket crocodiles on the other hand… And aren’t they the best for saving seats? Books, I mean, not crocodiles. XD
IT IS BORING. Ugh, people just prattle on about the most non-useful things. Reading books is so much better. OH OH. But if you take a pocket crocodile AND a book you can save copious amounts of seats. < <-- excellent plan
I’m going to my boyfriend’s colleague’s 40th birthday party tomorrow (do I HAVE to go? Can you help me think of an excuse to avoid spending my Saturday evening with posh people who are at least two decades older than me??? Because I genuinely think that that experience will be Hell for me. Bleh.), and I have been told under no uncertain terms that I MUST take a book. Apparently I get growly if I don’t have one! There’s just something comforting about carrying around a world to escape into whenever you need to… It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who uses a book as a cuddle blanket!
Beth x
OMG. THEY TOLD YOU TO TAKE A BOOK?! That is fabulous. Can’t you lock yourself in the bathroom and read? Omg, don’t ask me. I refuse to socialise and when I do I end up discussing the injustices of Harry Potter in great length and detail. #amnormal
I bring a book on long bus/tube journeys, because, as much as I love looking out the window on a bus, it gives me an opportunity to get more reading in. So to work and back. But otherwise… no. Unless my point is reading. Like I’ll go to the park with a book to read in the park. But that’s it. I can’t be doing with the weight. I can’t 🙁 I shall be the first to die when the zombies come after us, I guess. Haha!
I wish I could do that but I get motion-sick. Seriously, I’m HOPELESS at travel (unless I’m driving) but audiobooks = life savers. And people think I’m listening to music. HA HA HA.
I always take a book with me wherever I go, and people always ask me why. I think it offends them. Oh well.
Why do people ask?! Why don’t they just realise how CRUCIAL and LIFE SAVING it is for us to bring books with us??? GEE.
Hahaha omg these were awesome reasons! I really like the smacking the book in front of your friend so they can read the title :D. I have to be honest with you, at first when I read the title of your post, I was like “Reasons??? We don’t need reasons! It’ll ALWAYS be appropriate to bring a book”. Then I remembered one time when I went grocery shopping with my family and my mom was like “WHY DID YOU BRING YOUR KINDLE? YOU WONT’ HAVE TIME TO READ ANYWAY” and now I’m like, thank you Cait for making this post!
YAY! Now you can just show petty humans this post when they DARE QUESTIONW HY YOU HAVE A BOOK. Just say “for zombies, mum, of course.” They’ll understand straight away. *nods*
This is genius.
Why thank you. ^_^
Oh my goodness this is hilarious. XD I love this post Cait! YES YES AND YES. All of the points are spot-on. 😀
ALSO. My friend who is moving just gave me oodles of her books since she can’t bring them all to college AND SHE GAVE ME SHADOW SPINNER. I literally looked at it and squeaked “CAIT LOVES THIS BOOK”. She also gave me Tithe by Holly Black. WIN WIN. I’m so excited because ALL OF THE BOOKS but I had to tell you about Shadow Spinner. I GET TO READ IT NOW YAY. 😀
ZOMG REEEALLY?!! YOU HAVE SHADOW SPINNER?!! AJFDKLAFDS OMG I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. LIKE IT AND THEN I SHALL DIE OF HAPPINESS. :’) Also YAY FOR HOLLY BLACK!! I’ve read, ooh, 5 of her books? I think 5. I haven’t read Tithe yet, but now that I’ve finished editing I’m going to binge the entire trilogy. BECAUSE HOLLY BLACK. AFJDLKSAFD I AM SO KEEN TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF BOTH OF THEM THO.
OMG ok so I always take a book with me wherever I go (and for this reason can never carry small bags) even though I know I probably won’t have time to read them! Every now and then I manage to read a bit when out like when waiting for a train etc. but mainly having a book with me just provides me with this weird sense of comfort. It’s as if as long as I have a book, I have an anchor. Something to always remind me who I am, and what I love. Cute stuff right :’)
YES. IT IS A NECESSARY THING TO DO. EVEN IF THERE IS NO TIME TO READ THEM, IT IS JUST GOOD PRECAUTION AND SENSE. It’s like a security blanket.
I have been waiting for someone to make this list! I always get very irritated when strangers talk to me in public, but sometimes a book isn’t even a defense (I have a horrifying story about a man next to me on a very, very long flight that just wouldn’t shut up despite me pulling out a book and reading).
-Monica @ Tomes Project
Omg, THAT IS THE STUFF OF HORROR STORIES. My plane-horror-story isn’t nearly as bad…it was just a midnight flight and I purposefully had an empty seat delegated next to me (it wasn’t a full flight) because I had a toddler sleeping on my lap and we needed to stretch out. AND THEN SOME OAF CAME AND SAT NEXT TO ME AND THEY KEPT TOUCHING ME AND I WAS SO CRAMPED AND IT WAS AWFUL. HUMANS. SO INCONSIDERATE. I should’ve beaten them off with a book, tbh.
haha great post! Zombies really ARE a problem. Heavy books prove quite useful, you are correct. The last book I read in public? Umm…probably What You Left Behind, but it was on my Kindle, so if that counts!
They are nasty little blighters that totally ruin a simple trip to buy cake or whatnot. *sighs heavily*
As long as you didn’t leave behind your book while you were out….GET IT? GET IT?? HA. *dies laughing at own pun*
Oh Oh Oh and you can also read rather than using your phone to APPEAR like you are busy and not actually alone. And and and if you read before a stressful moment in your life, like going to the dentist and getting your cavities filled, then you’ll have something on your mind since you’ve recently been reading! That was me yesterday, and today too.
*whispers* don’t hate me but you could also burn a book for warmth if you’re stuck in the cold in the middle of nowhere.
I WON’T HATE YOU. I thought of that one too, but it was so torturous to even think about that I moved into sewing books into clothes.
OMG AUDIO BOOKS WOULD BE FABULOUS FOR DENTIST TRIPS TOO. agh cavities? *pats your shoulder* I’d offer you comforting cake, but, well, here is an apple, Val.
Oh my gosh, this is hilarious. Who ever would have thought a book had so many uses not related to reading? Seriously though, this was a lot of fun to read. I’m guilty of taking books place because I’m afraid I’ll get bored. Of course, I almost never end up reading them.
EXACTLY. Books are underestimated in their usefulness!! THEY ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN A SIMPLE 2D STORY. *swats at zombies with a hardcover*
I TRY to always bring a book with me but I’m a ridiculously forgetful person. Often when I’m out, I’m out with someone and so we’re just talking, or I’m attending something bookish so when I get to a bookshop I’ll just sit and read for a bit.
Omg, I never forget anything. xD I’m the person who brings a jacket even in summer JUST IN CASE and you know a packed lunch, spare shoes, the kitchen seat, a small planet, and an elephant with me when I go out.
I think you could eat it! I mean, I don’t know how long you’d last, BUT with all the snow from that blizzard AND the nutrition from your book…. yes, it could work. ALSO- the idea about saving a seat? GENIUS. Because seriously, WHY do people sit right next to you? Why?! There are other seats! If there aren’t, okay. But if there is a seat not next to someone… USE THAT ONE. (This may be my biggest pet peeve in life, for real.)
I, um, might have googled this pet crocodile? I needed to know if it was a thing, okay? Apparently, it is. Do you have one, Cait? You shouldn’t. They sound dangerous.
So I basically only bring books in public when I want to not have to make eye contact and/or small talk. So I guess ALL of public? No no, I jest. The last time I read a book in public was on the bus to BEA, because it was kind of a long(ish) ride. I read Minnow Bly, and it was good.
YES. THANK YOU!! SO many people are doubting me eating it but you coooould. If you were desperate.
I have no idea why humans insist on sitting close. ESPECIALLY IF THERE ARE MANY EMPTY SEATS AROUND, OMG, HUMANS. *Growls*
Of course I have a pet crocodile. You think I just have a puppy, but ha ha, no there is so much more to my menagerie than that.
I ride the bus a lot, and very often strange people will try and talk to me. Now, in my younger days I tried to be nice to everyone, but… sometimes with people who have a difficult time with boundaries, and getting angry if you won’t give them money, or let them touch your hair, and the like, and those who get off the bus and start following you home, or to work because they are not done telling you about the aliens who talk to their neighbor’s cat, things can get scary. A book has been my first line of defense for many years while riding the bus. For some reason with most of the boundary offenders if you don’t give them any acknowledgment they don’t start their crazy. I don’t take physical books with me anymore. I have my Kindle Fire tablet, and if that runs out of battery power, I have my original model little grey Kindle ereader. Books don’t fare to well in my backpack. You should see the copy of Talon I had in there for a few weeks. See I did try really hard to finish that book.
Omg, seriously??? Those are the kind of people you meet on the bus??? THEY TRY TO TOUCH YOUR HAIR?? Gawsh. The bus isn’t like that in Oz, thank goodness. But I have never ever been a chatty person. XD NOT ONCE. But I agree! Kindles do better with travel…I’ve morned over so many books with bent covers due to facing the outside world. You didn’t like Talon? *pats shoulder* There there, I’ll love it triply and make up for you. XD
I’ll definitely be using my books as a weapon incase of a zombie apocalypse, cause like you said EXTREMELY USEFUL! Specifically The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson! ALSO there’s some good fighting tips in those fantasy books 😉 So I’ll bring them along as well. XD
I’m sure Brandon Sanderson wrote his books with weapon-against-zombies in mind because tHEY ARE FREAKING HUGE. But glorious. xD
I always carry a book with me for these exact reasons! I’m always prepared for an apocalypse and a blizzard, brah. Or, you know, I need to wait somewhere and waiting makes me feel anxious so I’ll try to drown my anxiety by drowning in words.
EXACTLY. Books are great for when one feels anxious, or is left waiting for a human to meet up with you and what if they don’t come? So at least you have a book and can look busy and not lost.
This post is so hilarious! 😀 Your reasons are totally insane, Cait, but I can’t say I disagree. (Except for standing on the book and eating it because ohmygosh I just can’t! xD)
Simply whip your book out and smack it in their face so they can read the title. This is my favorite sentence in this post. I’d looove to do that some time, but oh poor book!
I don’t bring books everywhere because I’m overly protective of them. Instead, I just bring my Nook wherever I go so I can read anytime. Problem solved. 😀
BUT HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DYING OF STARVATION? You never know if you might need to nibble a paperback. (I will concede that a hardback would be kinda tough to chew.)
AH YES. Sadness for the book. ALWAYS CARRY A HARDCOVER! And therefore it won’t damage the book…unless you get blood on it? Gee. So much dangers are involved in the violent side of bookworming.
I didn’t even know there’s a violent side to bookworming. O_O
MWAHAHAHAH. HAVE YOU MET ME?
Fair point. 😀
Heck yes, I always bring a book with me. I have to take public transportation everywhere; what if I’m stranded somewhere and I have to wait an hour or two until the next bus leaves? IT’S HAPPENED, PEOPLE.
I might also take them with me when I, like, go to a party (yeah because that happens so often) or for drinks or something. But only sometimes. I mean YOU NEVER KNOW. It always reminds me of that scene in Gilmore Girls, when Rory is going to leave for some sort of dance and her mum’s like Errr why is your bag so heavy? You’re bringing a book aren’t you? Do you think you’re going to read at the party (heavily paraphrasing here)? SHE MIGHT OKAY.
To be honest, most of the time I don’t end up reading the book, because i just can’t focus as well when I’m not relaxing on my bed or someplace comfortable, and I sometimes get motion sickness, BUT I’ve discovered audiobooks for that very purpose recently, so now I technically usually have two books with me. Technology, gotta love it.
OH I BELIEVE YOU. I’ve been left in airports with only a book, and it’s not even that awful, because you can get a lot of undistracted reading time. *nods* OMG I HAVE NOT SEEN GILMORE GIRLS BUT I’VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT RORY AND FEEL VERY CONNECTED TO HER ALREADY. I am the one who goes on holidays and takes more books than clothes.
Thank you for providing me with more excuses when people ask my why I need a book with me 24/7! Not sure if they’ll buy the zombie thing though 😉
YOU ARE SO WELCOME.
Ahaha I loved this! I am someone who almost always has a book with me, and I am so glad I have done so! Once I was locked out of the house for hours and I don’t know where I would’ve been without my good old book. And times I don’t have one with me and am out and waiting or something, I usually am wishing I had one with me. So. Always have a book!
(It is brilliant for whacking people as well. Only bad people though. Mostly.)
Check out my recent post: http://olivia-savannah.blogspot.nl/2015/08/top-10-reasons-why-i-love-kung-fu-panda.html
Omg. LOCKED OUT??! Thank goodness you are wise and had a book with you (that should have been a point on my list, totally).
Whacking dubious people. Yes?
I do always bring a book, just in case they make better company than the humans. And it is often true, alas. See also: my awesome t-shirt in my review of LookHuman.com. “If I can’t take my book, I’m not going” — 150% my attitude to life.
OMG YOU HAVE A TEE-SHIRT LIKE THAT?!! #lifegoals
I do. I have pretty much promised lookhuman.com my firstborn child for all the book t-shirts/sweatshirts I’ve got from there. Other examples: “I’d like you more if you were books”; “if you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll get to the bookstore”.
Your blog never fails to make me laugh. 🙂 I especially agreed with your third point – it’s important to always be properly defended. I find a good thick volume very useful for warding off unwanted zombies and people who try to interrupt me when I’m reading.
WELL THEN. I AM GINORMOUSLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEWS. *dances like a deranged pineapple* It’s those darn zombies tho, tbh. They’re always popping up at the most inconvenient times.
I pretty much have a book with me everywhere. Definitely very helpful anytime I spot a Wanted poster with my face on it.
I read Challenger Deep while on vacation last week, and started Gods and Warriors on the drive home. I always read on car rides. I have no idea what I’d do with my life if I were the type to get carsick.
I am always happy to help my friends on the wrong side of the law. I’m such a nice person, right? I KNOW. :’)
CHALLENGER DEEEEP. AFDJLKSAFD (Did you like it?!) I am the type to get carsick bUT = audiobooks.
Challenger Deep was FANTASTIC. Five stars all the way. I cried at one point, and I can count the number of books that’ve made me cry on one hand.
AFDKLSAFD AGREED. Although I didn’t cry, but seriously, it totally just tied my feels up in knots. I was so weirded out at first because it was confusing…but that book is a work of ART.
Love this list! My understanding is that paper is a great insulator. If you can’t sew, you can ball the pages up and stuff the balls in your clothes to keep warm. I know they’ve done this in a book somewhere…sounds like something from a Dickens novel.
OMG THERE! YAY. Everyone is doubting my paper-clothes, but you have confirmed my genius.
OH MY GOD–I had NO IDEA you liked books, Cait! When did that happen? It’s not as if you have a book blog or anything, right…? I also get attacked by zombies frequently. It is quite tiring, actually.
It’s more like a secret side-hobby. It’s not like it consumes my life or anything. NO WAY.
There is absolutely no reason not to take a book with you everywhere you go. I mean the only time that you get stuck waiting or in a traffic jam, what do you do? Tadaaa, book! Hehhe Cait, the only person besides Aimee who I know is shorter than me 😉 Haha I think we are in agreeance about the zombie apocalypse weapon. Literary and kick ass! As long as it’s a big book.
Or WORSE … a traffic jam CAUSED BY ZOMBIES. Books are just so useful for these everyday situations.
AH yes, I love Aimee because she’s more of a midget then me and WELL. THAT IS JUST NICE FOR ONCE. heh. I am so short. XD
I always bring books so I can pretend reading while eavesdropping on people in public places. #noshame
Oh oh that is a GREAT idea. Seriously. YOU GENIUS.
Hehe, I love this post. Books are very nice to have on hand, for those reasons and for others. Like, there’s really no downside to carrying around a book, unless, it’s a priceless book you stole from a museum, in which case I would recommend not advertising the fact that it’s in your possession. But otherwise. And yes, the one about wanted posters–you wouldn’t BELIEVE how useful books have been to me for just that reason. And I’d tell you why I’m wanted, but then… You know….
Anyway, I actually wrote a similar post way back in January, so instead of adding my own uses for books here, I’ll just refer to that (although you totally don’t have to read it–I’m just too lazy to paraphrase myself).
http://adelethelaptop.blogspot.com/2015/01/uses-for-books.html
Yes, yes, that is true. BUT THEN. If you did just steal a priceless book, you can stash it in your bag and utilise my hiding-behind-a-book advice to disguise your wanted face. *nods* There is no way that will fail.
Ooh, I need look up your post then. 😉
*hides behind book* I don’t actually take a books everywhere with me. I take it a lot of places, but a few years ago I stopped because it seemed to be a general consensus between my peers that such behaviour was antisocial. I often have a book, but not always. My parents encourage me not to as well for some reason. When I was little, I would go to my friends house and just read together. It can be social. But this doesn’t happen as much *sobs*
It is true…some people do assume that is antisocial *sigh* I call it “redeeming the time” but yus, not all humans understand.
I always take a book with me. I believe that you never know when an opportunity will arise to read. You’ll be pleased to know that I am very well armed then in case I get attacked by a zombie – I will be very unhappy though, because my book is likely to get ruined while I’m defending myself against said zombie. 🙁 I might have to kick the zombies’ arse all over again for ruining my book, lol.
YES YES YES TO ALL OF THESE!!! I always bring a book everywhere because we generally go out quite a bit on weekends and it’s quite boring so I read while there’s shopping being done etc. Also, people generally don’t try to speak to me if I’m reading a book so, there’s a plus. I get to avoid human interaction.
If you’re really desperately you could also…GASP set it on fire. I have a feeling a lot of us bookworms would rather freeze to death than burn a book though XD Fabulous list!
I tend to carry smaller books with me since I can get a lot read even if I just get a few minutes to do so.. Saying that, I currently have 4 books in my purse at present time. Also my Kindle which I treat as one of my children… 😀
People are scary! Use books to hide from people! 😉
Seriously though, I LOVE it when you do posts like these. 🙂 That one about proving you’re not wicked – Lemony Snicket was a genius and I seriously need to search the library from top to bottom for his books (I’ve only seen the film – have mercy on me 🙁 ). The last book I read away from home was Forever – I read it in the car (does that count???) 😉
YES. EXCELLENT POINT. HIDING BEHIND A BOOK IS A GRAND WAY TO LIVE.
Omg, thank you. :’) Except. Um. Do we need to have a talk about how UNACCEPTABLE it is to live life with no Lemony Snicket in it??? BECAUSE YOU NEED TO FIX THIS ASAP, OKAY?!!! HE IS GENIUS AND SO FUNNY. But the movie is glorious so I will not glare. 😉
I need to start carrying a book around wherever I go again. XD A bunch of people told me I looked stupid when I was younger so I stopped in my mid-teens. I may just pick it up again. ^ ^ (See what I did there?) I carried “The Judgement Stone” by Robert Liparulo around the airport this pass weekend to pass the time and I met the author this past weekend as well. ^ ^
Reading in the car is such a saviour. I love just sitting in the car and pawing through library books or whatever I’ve bought, and I always try to plan ahead and make sure I have some reading material in the car for those occasions, although I often don’t remember to bring a bag or anything with me. But you have basically pinpointed all the possible reasons, Cait, including, of course, the fact they can add height. Hello Queen of Shadows you massive book you.
Another helpful one could be to use as a very, very small raft. That isn’t waterproof. But if you need one and have nothing else at hand, it could probably help you for a little while. And also a bartering point- what if pirates invaded? They either take your puppy or you and then WAM book thank you. You don’t have any reading material, but who ever shot down a reconnaissance mission?
Wonderful list, Cait. xx
You have NO IDEA how many times I’ve had to eat my book because restaurant food takes too long to arrive! But Greg, my miniature crocodile, doesn’t like sharing bag space with my books, plus he reads them before me and gives spoilers!
I usually take books everywhere because fictional characters are endlessly more fascinating than real people! And if someone isn’t getting the hint that you don’t want to talk to them, whip out your book and they’ll have no choice but to watch you, or LEAVE!
Hehe, you never fail to amaze me with your brilliance. I don’t know how you come up with this stuff, but your head must be a wonderful, fun place :p Eating your book in need.. Well, that must be a really bad situation. I used to eat paper when I was younger though, so it’s probably okay to do so. I always bring a book with me in case I need it, like you say, perhaps you are bored or you don’t feel like talking to someone.
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