Paper Fury

It’s time for our monthly dose of Honest YA which is something I do here at Notebook Sisters where I accidentally sarcasm all over the place.

But, just keep your spotty socks on, because I’m just teasing. I love books. I tease things I like.

If you missed it back in May, here’s my last post!

Our love will never be broken! Not country or sea or person will separate us from the true destiny which is 16-year-olds first love! Let us now kiss in the — hey? Hey! STOP TALKING TO THAT OTHER GIRL. Look back here to me, thanks.

Why be you when you can be…possessed! That’s right, folks, some teens do drugs, but we prefer cults and creepy possessions. I’m sure this is healthy.

This is the fairy tale where everyone is mean.

My dad has trained me hard for 16 years. Heck, he even controls my food so I can be fit and top lean mean fighting machine. I AM BRUCE LEE. Kapow. But his office is open. So I’m just gonna pinch one of his million dollar gadgets and take it to school.

Hey Uncle Dolf! What’ve you been up to? Oh…kissing my friend who is half your age…um, yep, that’s normal.

Children are going missing! YEAH. So let’s take down the government! YEAH. And stop sexism once and for all! YEAH. How can we make this work? Put the women in the kitchen to do the cooking and get the 14-year-old to make our battle plans. YEAH.

All Vulcan and no play, makes hot alien dude extremely attractive. NO DON’T ASK ME WHY. He just is.

Real or not real? Um…

You have anxiety issues. I have cerebral palsy. Clearly you need fixing and then, oh nom nom nom, we can be together forever. NO NO, don’t talk to me about this! Communication will wreck our delicious relationship.

I hate everyone. Everyone hates me. Nothing goes right. I should’ve died. You should’ve died. My life has ended. I can’t even. No. BUT I HAVE TEA. So I will deal.

You is kind. You is smart. You is important. But, careful…sometimes the kids at school forget this important fact. But only on days that end in “y”.

I’m sure the sociopath doesn’t mean any harm. Poor widdle guy, he’s just sad and alone and — would you look at that, he just attacked me. Didn’t see that coming.

Mother: Spends book unconscious.
Clary: Sleep is for the dead.
BFF: Turns into a rat for attention.
Love Interest: Marries himself.

I am fire. I am death. I am the assassin of extreme and deadly — is that chocolate cake? IS THAT A PUPPY?

Cait is considering building herself a house out of books. It would be a nice and cosy and intelligent place to live, that’s for sure. But: not fire safe. Though you really can’t have everything in life, so she’s not being too fussy about logistics. She just finished reading Breaking Butterflies. She didn’t really like it.

Back in February I might have put up a mildly sarcastic post where I retitled YA book covers. You blogglings loved it, I quite enjoyed making it, and thus Honest YA kind of came to life. Oh, gosh, I’m getting sentimental just remembering. I’ve googled around and I believe I’m the first person to use “Honest YA” (if you’ve seen it elsewhere, do let me know!) so it’s going to be a Notebook Sisters Thing.

Woot!

 So welcome to my mock Honest YA Covers: Part 2! Do remember I love books. I only bother to make fun of things I like.

 NOTE: I do not claim to own any of these covers. They belong to other people in cyber-space. Duh. 

Cait is only slightly sarcastic. But truly! She only makes fun of things in good spirit. She absolutely adores books. YAY FOR BOOKS. Her life is basically dedicated to books and food. So there you have it. Currently, she’s reading Prisoner of Night and Fog but mostly drooling in antipation for starting Rebel by Amy Tintera. 

Book blurbs can be a little unclear, so I’ve done some honest YA summaries just for you! I know, I know, I’m very nice. You can thank me later.

NOTE: Just because I tease, doesn’t mean I don’t like…just so you know.

Break things, Juliette. Stop whinging and do it. STOP BREAKING THINGS JULIETTE. OH MY GOSH. STOP.

If you go out in the woods today…YOU’RE GOING TO FREAKING DIE.

You’re not insane. You’re totally fine. On second thoughts, yeah, maybe you are completely bonkers please don’t kill me with the Vorpal blade.

Sam, you’re destined to find the Last Thirteen Dreamers. Come on! You can do it! Why are you whinging? Go find them. Why can’t you find any of them?! Oh for goodness sakes, let us do it for you.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but you’re a freak, let me basically kidnap you maybe?

Adulthood sounds dumb and far away, so let’s try to kill ourselves by doing insane dares and hopefully win a lot of money to pay for our future psychological counselling.

I’m awkward. You’re arrogant. Let’s get married.

The real question is, can you shut up long enough for me to help you save your life and the world and my sister, and perhaps not abandon and betray me on the way? Thanks. Owe you one.

Actually, I’m a sociopath.

I am so in love with you and all I’ve done so far is read a comic over your shoulder. Imagine us three years from now! We might even hold hands!

I AM SCOTTISH.

I love you, Kira! Just…not that much.

If I kiss you, you’ll die, and if he kisses me, you’ll kill him, and if you kiss anyone else, I’ll set my psychic family on you.

Stop having fun, kids! Go to your rooms and never have fun again!

No one tells me anything, even when it might save my life, explain to me why I shouldn’t break the rules, or just comfort me by knowing a bit about my past/parents. Good thing I have an invisible cloak.

I don’t love him, but that doesn’t mean you can!

You mean I could save my brother from his terminal cancer if I just sneak out of the house and enter a random race noooo one knows about, probably isn’t legal, and involves magical animals? Lemme get my hairbrush and I’m coming.

This child is abnormal. LET US TORTURE HIM TO TEST HIS LOYALTIES. I’m sure he’ll respond positively to our archaic abuse.

Look at that cute and shy mortal boy with his cute face and his shy little eyes and oh, nom-nom-nom, I just want to eat him up. OMG STAY AWAY FROM ME, I HATE YOU.

And because I had way too much fun doing this, look out for more of my Honest YA Blurbs in the future!

Cait isn’t always sarcastic, she promises. Sometimes she’s a happy and frivolous person who runs around doing kind deeds and granting wishes. Or stealing Mime’s chocolate. (What? She leaves it in an obvious position and she won’t mind a few chocolate egg relocations, right?) Currently Cait has hit 25,000 words in her manuscript and is concerned because all the characters hate each other already. Awkward….