The Dangerous Art of Blending In was really brutal…but also hopeful.
No, no, you didn’t need your heart intact in anyway and if you thought you did…ah ha. No. Read this book and cry a little on the inside (and hey this got me all emotional and I’m a well-known Vulcan piece of bread). This book hugely features domestic violence and hiding who you truly are because of fear and how it feels to just desperately crave love. It’s also #ownvoices and you can really feel the ache of the author’s personal experiences in here.
Someone get me a bucket. I’m cosplaying a waterfall.
+ The domestic violence aspect was so heartbreaking.
Evan is beaten and psychologically abused by his mother, who claims he’s “evil” and full of “sin”. So it is a bit of a look at how people can hide their mental illness behind religion too. (I don’t think the book says “religion is bad” at ALL, but I do think it points out how often it can let down minorities). It’s…it’s so hard to read…Evan is really broken inside as well as out and believes he’s ugly and unworthy and festering with sin. He’s trying to be the “perfect Greek son” but he’s an artist (an unworthy occupation according to his mother) and also gay.
And, worse, everyone in his life just stands back and lets it happen!?? His dad never stands up for him and just takes him out for donuts to “make up for it”. It’s important that the book pointed at this though: SO OFTEN people in abusive situations are left because others pretend it’s not happening.
+ Evan is such a lovely character!
He’s an artist but has a really low opinion of his work (EVAN YOU IS KIND, YOU IS SMART, YOU IS IMPORTANT). He’s the most precious cinnamon but also pushes away people who ARE nice. He literally doesn’t know how to handle kindness. I’m glad the book showed the psychological damage of abuse, not just the bruises.
+ It’s not a “salvation through romance” story at all.
(SO RELIEVED.) I loved Henry and Evan and how they were best friends first! I do wish we’d known Henry a little deeper though?! But my favourite thing is how loyal he was to Evan, even when things were awful, and they are a delightful cinnamon pair and I want them to have a good lifeeeeee.
+ So much Greek Culture!
All the food and the church gatherings and the family dynamics…hELLO GREEK! Also the food sounded delicious and I may have eaten my paperback.
+ Also this is such a personal #ownvoices story.
The author’s note at the back is 500% guaranteed to make you realise your STONE COLD HEART IS ACTUALLY BEATING. OMG. The author says this is super close to his own story and was a way of actually working through his own past and…afjdksld. It makes my heart very full when authors really share intimate pieces of their lives like this. MUCH RESPECT. I know this book is really going to help so many struggling teens know they’re not alone.
+ My only critique is that it felt like a debut.
Haha okay that was super specific, Cait, you bucket. SORRY. And look, I’m a debut author this year, so I’m not judging! I’m going to be the same haha. To me, the dialogue often felt clunky and didn’t flow, and it needed more body language to make the emotional lurches believable. (Everyone just went from 0 to 100 real quick.) And there were a lot of HIGH TENSION scenes that could’ve been a little more…terrifying. (WAIT. AM I A BAD PERSON HERE.) Only nitpicks. I can’t wait to see this author’s writing grow with more books!!
ANYWAY I’m a wreck, how are you.
Books like this always stick with me for so long! This is an emotional picnic of the bittersweet reality, heartache, and art. I also think it’s so relatable for people trying to find their way in the world and accept themselves. I was anticipating this book sooo much and it didn’t disappoint. ACK. EMOTION.
THANK YOU TO PENGUIN AUSTRALIA FOR THE REVIEW-COPY. The Dangerous Art of Blending In by Angelo Surmelis is published February 2018.
Seventeen-year-old Evan Panos doesn’t know where he fits in. His strict Greek mother refuses to see him as anything but a disappointment. His quiet, workaholic father is a staunch believer in avoiding any kind of conflict. And his best friend Henry has somehow become distractingly attractive over the summer.
Tired, isolated, scared—Evan’s only escape is drawing in an abandoned church that feels as lonely as he is. And, yes, he kissed one guy over the summer. But it’s his best friend Henry who’s now proving to be irresistible. It’s Henry who suddenly seems interested in being more than friends. And it’s Henry who makes him believe that he’s more than his mother’s harsh words and terrifying abuse. But as things with Henry heat up, and his mother’s abuse escalates, Evan has to decide how to find his voice in a world where he has survived so long by avoiding attention at all costs.
I was really looking forward to reading this but then Elise posted a review of it…(https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1939698993?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1) And I was kind of put off to be honest. It’s on my TBR but wayy wayy at the bottom because I don’t think it’d be something I’m interested in anyways? But I just finished I am Thunder by Muhammad Khan and HOLY FREAKING HECK MY EMOTIONS CAIT PLEASE READ THIS BOOK IT MADE ME SO ANGRY AND ANNOYED BUT ALSO THE ENDING WAS THE BEST THING EVER and the character arcs I CAN’T. Ahhhh so. many. feels.
I read this review, and I was pretty horrified. (By what she had to say about the book, not the review itself – that was excellent.) This usually isn’t the sort of book I’d pick up, anyway, but I agree that presenting such a portrayal of going from one type of abusive relationship to another, without making it clear this is a terrible thing, and how to avoid it, just feels socially irresponsible and makes me very, very upset.
Heyyy Ilsa and Daley,
I mean obviously I’m not going to say “that reviewer is wrong!” because everyone can interpret things differently…but I honestly do NOT think that’s what the book said, what it intended, or how it ended. Henry wasn’t being abusive or manipulative and Evan didn’t go into a romantically abusive relationship after the book ended. I just…I just don’t see how you could interpret it that way, honestly?
Anyway you’re welcome to believe what you like! And read/not read, but I’m not promoting a book that’s about glorifying abusive relationships. (And I think it’s a bit unfair to say, in a way, that finding someone who loves you and helps you get free of a bad situation is wrong. Sometimes you can’t leave without support. Evan needed to know he didn’t deserve what his parents did to him, and Henry was telling him he’s worth something.)
I truly hope that the author did mean this portrayal to be that Henry was fighting for Evan, and ready to support him if he left his abusive home. I will probably never know for sure, as I just don’t like this kind of book, and choose not to read them. There are so many bad things in this world (sadly), that I just hate to see anyone not get the message that being abused is wrong no matter who’s doing the abusing, and that leaving the situation is a good move. I really, really do hope this book will inspire that sort of change in the lives of people who are suffering this kind of awful circumstance.
Great review! This one is going on my wishlist :D.
Yayyyy I hope you like it!
So I very very very rarely read anything with Greek culture outside Greek mythology (…and even then I’m SUPER nit-picky of how that’s handled…I can’t help it), so even though this sounds absolutely heartbreaking, I know I’ll at least appreciate that element. I wish there’d been more books highlighting Greek culture when I was in high school! All in all, this just sounds like a really important story.
BRB off to go daydream about baklava and Pastitsio (but not dolmades. I do NOT like them, haha) & reminisce about the times we dyed eggs for Easter. <3
Kara recently posted…Book Recommendation: STRANGE THE DREAMER
I totally think it is an important story! And just after reading the author’s note and knowing there’s a ton of autobiographical elements in it makes it even more special I think.😭 (Also I think I’ve only read this and Will Kostakis’ Greek books?! We definitely need more in YA!!)
Oh, even your review nearly made me cry. 😢 I grew up in foster care & one of the homes was so religiously abusive.
I feel just the few sentences you wrote about it so much. I agree, “Not all religions are bad” It took me a long time to come to that conclusion & find peace with religion.
I hadn’t even heard of this book? But now I really want to pick it up. Maybe I want t0 cry?
*sends all the cake* 😭😭 I’m really sorry you had to go through that, it’s so awful and unfair and hard. I think it’d also be really hard not to blame all religions after a bad experience…and if you read this one, I hope it’s an uplifting one for you!
Your blog is goals. Beautiful beautiful goals. <3
I don't suppose you've read Aristotle and Dante, have you?
Omg thank you!!💕 That means a lot! And YES I love Ari & Dante! I’ve read it twice. 😍
I met up with Ella from A Bookish Time (in real life which is cool as) yesterday and she was reading this book and we were talking about it. It sounds pretty full on and quite a bit like Starfish
To be honest I read starfish this year and didn’t find it very compelling. The most emotional book I’ve read this year is maybe Invictis, which is great.
Shanti recently posted…Discussion: Why blogging makes me read things I dislike, and not read what I do like
I saw a photo of that (on twitter or IG? I can’t remember because I’m terrible😂) and that’s so awesome you got to meet up! And YES there’s a lot of similarities to Starfish for sure…and Starfish also made me really emotional. 🙈
I confess, this one wasn’t on my list this year. Probably because I pride myself on not having emotions, so having to find them and then allow an author to shatter them seems inconvenient. It sounds like it was pretty good, but maybe not my sort of book.
Of course, that being said, I just finished The Boy from Tomorrow, which gave me lots of warm (and sometimes sad) feels, so yay, I’m not a sentient robot AI trying to learn how to take over the internet and then the world!
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Omg I totally know what you mean though ah hahah. I always call myself a Vulcan and then I read books like THIS and look…my cold little heart is actually beating.😂 (And aww now I want to look up The Boy from Tomorrow!!)
This book is on my tbr! I love books that tug at my heart and shred it to pieces. It’s what I live for. Let’s me know i’m still alive and my tear ducts still work. 🙂 Great review!
YES EXACTLY RIGHT?! Get our cold little hearts beating. :’) :’)
To be honest when I saw this book up for grabs with a release date I wasn’t impressed. While reviews have been QUITE mixed, I do have to say that this looks like something that I probably won’t read. Unless it’s hardcore fantasy, it isn’t my number one priority. (Sad, but that’s the life I live in) Good post as usual Cait!
That makes sense! Not every genre suits everyone after all!
Great review, as always! This sounds like such a good book. *throws on TBR mountain, causing a book avalanche*
Aww thank you!! It was such a heartbreaking but also uplifting one?! SO GOOD.
FINALLY!!!! SOMEONE WHO HAS READ THIS BOOK!
I’ve been literally shoving this book into my sister’s hands because I just NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO HELLO I AM AN EMOTIONAL MESS. “Someone get me a bucket. I’m cosplaying as a waterfall.” ASDFGHJKL ME ON PAGE SIX. When I finished the book, I somehow (can’t remember details because I black out when I fangirl) ended up talking to the author and I was basically fangirling to. the. source. I guess when you have no one else to talk to about it, you gotta go to the person who wrote it. *shrugs shoulders* But yeah, HE IS SO SWEET AND ASDFGHJKL. He did say that this story was very personal and he’s still trying to get over the fact that it is a book and people are going to read it, but honestly… I feel like all those personal emotions are what made the book, you know? Like, I was feeling everything that Evan was feeling. I just wanted to cry for him.
I don’t want to say any spoilers here because I know I should keep things spoiler-free friendly BUT IT’S JUST SO HARD BECAUSE I SERIOUSLY CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS BOOK. EVAN AND HENRY ARE THE CUTEST BEANS EVER AND I JUST WANNA WRAP ‘EM UP AND HOLD THEM FOREVER. O-O And I agree with everything you said above. In my goodreads review, I mentioned how I loved the romance in this book because it wasn’t put there just so that the book would have romance in it. Does that make sense? There was a very real connection with Evan and Henry and I absolutely loved everything about it.
Hehe, okay, I’m done writing a post in your comment section. XD But YES I LOVED THIS BOOK AND I’M GLAD YOU DID TOO.
xx Kenzie
Also; I just want to add that I love how you mentioned that Evan’s mother hid her mental illness behind religion and it wasn’t like the writer was shaming religion. I feel as though this is something people may get confused about.
Kenzie recently posted…Things Bloggers Do That You Don’t Know About | collab with Vanessa
YAS KENZIE. I’M GLAD YOU’VE READ IT AND LOVE IT TOO!! I’m really disappointed not more people are totally excited about it?! I mean it’s dark and brutal, but so well told afjdklsad. (And omg the author tweeted thank you to me for my review and I just !!! fangirl moment. 😂 I hadn’t tagged him or anything but ahhh it was a lovely feeling.)
I agree! I think the romance was good…which is why I’m really confused how people are reviewing it and calling it an abusive romantic relationship…Like what the heck?! Henry was telling Evan he was worth saving and I think Evan REALLY needed that. 😭😭
And agreed! I think it can be hard to write about religion without either being super preachy or slamming it. But I think this one was good in how it handled it.
I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS.😭😭😭
UGH, I JUST CAN’T. EVAN AND HENRY’S RELATIONSHIP WAS PURE AND PERFECT AND NOBODY IS GOING TO TELL ME OTHERWISE. ALSO… I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE AREN’T EXCITED ABOUT IT EITHER????? Oh well, it’s not going to stop me from walking around with the book and wearing a shirt that says “read this book” with an arrow pointing at it (because we all know introverts aren’t going to just walk up to someone and tell them to read the book- we have to do it in a subtle yet effective way and THAT’S WHAT SHIRTS ARE FOR).
ANywho; I am so thrilled you agree with me. <333
xx Kenzie
I THINK THIS BOOK NEEDS WAY MORE ATTENTION AND LOVE AND AJFSDKLAFD WE WILL JUST SHOUT ABOUT IT TOGETHER WE’RE EXCELLENT. And that is absolutely what shirts are for omg you genius.
This one’s definitely going on my TBR list! Catch my waterfall cosplay as soon as I can buy the book.
Also, speaking of culture – anyone have suggestions of YA books that have Italian culture in them? Kinda interested in it 👀
Mai recently posted…The Power by Naomi Alderman || Banging Book Club
AHHH I’m so glad I’ve convinced you!! It’s just so well done. 😍 And have you read Looking for Alibrandi by Melina Marchetta? That’s got lost of Italian culture in it!
Ooh, I haven’t! Seems promising, definitely going to read it soon! Thank you so much for the suggestion!
Mai recently posted…The Power by Naomi Alderman || Banging Book Club
Okay, I’m definitely maybe sort of ABSOLUTELY SOLD. I only needed to read the first paragraph tbh. That’s how much trust I have in you and your judgment goddarnit. But yeah. This is already on my TBR list, but I’m super pumped you basically gushed about it. And HELLO AUTOBOYOGRAPHY READ ALIKE. HERE ARE ALL MY FEELS TAKE THEM THANK YOU VERY MUCH. This also sounds like More Happy Than Not, no? And also? I adore the cover and the color schemes of your photos! <3
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THIS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY OKAY because I mean you were perfectly right about Autoboyography OF COURSE (and the freaking Wicker King *cries forever*). Also can you believe I adore Adam Silvera’s two latest books but STILL haven’t read More Happy Than Not?! I’m ashamed of me too. But I’ll fix it this year I promise!!
This sounds super emotional. Not sure I’m stable enough for books like this at the moment, though — I keep randomly crying over books that AREN’T EVEN SAD and it’s the worst. (I need to sleep more. I think that’s what this is telling me.)
Sleep, pfft, what is sleep. (I’m actually in the process of trying to get more sleep with some natural medication stuff and hah HAHAH HAHA my body got used to it in 3 days so there goes sleeping again. :’) But yes…this isn’t an easy read by any means 😭
Actually sleeping isn’t a problem for me. Going to bed at a sensible time instead of procrastinating until 3am, however… that’s trickier.
Though I’m currently stuck in bed with a fever so I have a lot of weird half-sleep happening.
Miriam Joy (Finn) recently posted…“Shadowsong” by S. Jae-Jones
OMG THIS BOOK Already sounds heartbreaking and brutal omg. I mean it reminds me like a darker The First third? Ahhhh thanks for the review Cait, I don’t think this one is for me.
Jeann @ Happy Indulgence recently posted…Love, Hate and Other Filters Discussion: Important Topics for Cultural Representation
Oh yes a little bit! I’m trying to remember the plot of The First Third and…I CAN’T.😂 I just remember all the Greek food and how funny it was haha. So yes this one is definitely not funny. 😭 One needs to be emotionally prepared to go into it.