If you’re new around here, you probably wonder why this blog is called the Notebook Sisters. Because, it’s usually just me (that is, Cait). And I know, I know, I am bucket loads of awesome. But. There is a sister. Do you remember Mime?
Of course you don’t.
I will remind you.
She is my little sister and she’s here today for an interrogation (because discussions are mainstream) wherein I can put all my watching of FBI shows and movies to use. I will put her in the spotlight. I will make her talk. And you will find out the truth: is Mime or is Mime not an incredibly bad blogger?
INTERROGATOR: So Mime, thanks for joining us today for an interview about your hopeless and pathetic life as a school student who must live through strict regimes in order to obtain a piece of paper that tells your life’s worth. Question #1: Tell us about your life. Please be honest.
MIME: Am I under truth serum here?
INTERROGATOR: No, you’re under I-will-defenestrate-you-if-you-don’t-cooperate serum. Now answer the question.
MIME: Uh… right. Strict regimes? I guess you mean being a normal person.
INTERROGATOR: Stow your “normal” rubbish, mortal. Don’t you realise the similarities between prison and school? Get up at a certain time. Everyone wears the same “uniform”. Fights break out between in mates. You’re all vying for the guards/teachers approval. If you’re bad? THEY FLOG YOU.
MIME: Okay, I don’t know where you went to school —
INTERROGATOR: My mother taught me.
MIME: — but the difference between school and prison, for me, at least, is that I actually want to be there. Shocker. I enjoy it. There are some really great things about school. Also, my school uniform is not prison orange, so I’m totally okay with it.
INTERROGATOR: So, Question #2: What’s your favourite activity in the restricted organisation you refer to as…school. (Excuse me, I just swore.)
MIME: Music. I adore our music class. We get to play in bands, play instruments we wouldn’t usually use, accompany other people, perform, do solos… it’s great.
INTERROGATOR: Question #3: Do you think your preference of the Musical Activity has made you blind to the fact that you are being brain washed?
MIME: Yeah, they’re totally brainwashing me.
INTERROGATOR: Well, you still wear that dorky uniform and strut around your house under the impression that you look “nice”.
MIME: Okay, here’s where I will say something against school. What is with the uniforms? The sizes, I mean. The Uniform Shop lady tried to get me into the biggest Russian Circus shirts possible, and skirts that came to my mid-calves.
INTERROGATOR: This is because if a boy looks at you, you will get pregnant and you will DIE. They’re trying to save your life.
MIME: No, it’s because I’m short.
INTERROGATOR: Question #4: My super ears have been burning with news that you also enjoy sport.
MIME: Woah. What? There’s a difference between “enjoy” and “have to participate in order not to get a bad mark.” See, I am blessed with a spirit of over-achieving. Which meant that despite the fact I run like Jack Sparrow, I work very hard to get an A in PE.
INTERROGATOR: Question #5: So did you or did you not sell your soul to get said A?
MIME: I did not.
INTERROGATOR: Interesting. Question #6: This all leads me to conclude that you have a very busy life in school. What about outside of school? How would you describe your home life?
MIME: After I come home and feed you, I practise. I practise flute and piano. For ages. I’m doing an AMEB Grade 7 flute exam next month. Do you know what that means?
INTERROGATOR: We get two biscuits instead of one?
MIME: It means a whole lot of work. It means 6 pieces (Which can have multiple movements), scales, arpeggios, sustained exercises, sight reading, aural, memorisation, and extensive knowledge about what stupid chord each stupid bar is made up of!! Savvy?
INTERROGATOR: Keep a civil tonuge in your head, FOOL. I sense you are stressed. Question #7: Are you stressed?
MIME: No. Not at all. Why would you ask? I’m taking it all in my stride. (Don’t make any snide remarks about tripping on my own toes.)
INTERROGATOR: We’ve already established you suck at sport. SO. Question #8: How do spend your time when you’re not a) serving time in prison or b) practising your steel instrument that brings joy to evil?
MIME: I get the feeling you don’t like flutes.
INTERROGATOR: You’re the one summoning Beelzebub. Answer my questions.
MIME: I Pinterest to de-stress. I listen to music. And I fangirl with you. Don’t deny it.
INTERROGATOR: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU HAVE NOTHING ON ME. NOTHING. Ahem. Question #9: So how often would you say you have time to blog?
MIME: A lot less than I’d like, honestly. I don’t get much time to read at the moment, either. It’s really unfortunate, but that’s the way it works at the moment. Because I’m not reading or writing a lot, I’m not getting a whole lot of book blog ideas to work with, and that makes it a little difficult to write posts.
INTERROGATOR: My sources tell me you have read less than 30 books?
MIME: Your “sources” are probably my Goodreads, which is why I shouldn’t have friended you.
INTERROGATOR: Ask me how many I’ve read. Go on.
MIME: And now we see that the interrogator is feeling left out and needs some ego stroking. Pray tell.
INTERROGATOR: 106 BOOKS READ IN 6 MONTHS YEAH BABY!!!!!!
MIME: Careful your Cait is showing.
INTERROGATOR: Silence. NOW. Back to the topic at hand: Question #10: This entire discussion leads me to several conclusions, the first of which is: You are a horrible blogger. How do you plead?
MIME: Guilty, but not ashamed. I try —
INTERROGATOR: Save your pity party for someone who cares. I’m going to be easy on you, because I’m a really nice person. We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. It’s YOUR choice. SO. Option #1: You can be a better blogger (also: say that 5 times fast). Or Option #2 I can cross you out of the header until the blog looks like this:
INTERROGATOR: I have spoken.
MIME: I thought you were an interrogator, not a judge. Make up your mind.
INTERROGATOR: I AM A GOD YOU DULL CREATURE AND I WILL NOT BE BULLIED.
INTERROGATOR: Make your statement.
MIME: I’ll try. Because no one likes a drawing of me with a red X in my head.
Cait and Mime are really very awesome sisters who treat each other very nicely and lovingly. Do not think otherwise. Though if you want the FULL truth, Cait is the awesomer sister. Just sayin’. Cait also really enjoyed the title of “interrogator”. This may go to her head. Mime is, of course, practising as we speak. Such dedication. Sickening, really.