Whyyyyy do I insist on reading crazily sad books?!
Just read the title! It does not say “The Last Time We Talked About Sunshine And Happiness”. It basically says “The Time Cait Is About To Sob Grossly Because Sadness.
This is a beautiful and poignant and sad book. I didn’t actually expect to get emotionally involved because I am somewhat Vulcan. But I cried copiously on the inside. Especially at those last 50-pages. Oh yes, there’s my heart lying in pieces on the ground over there. Someone get sticky-tape.
Because…TEARS.
It focuses on the people left behind after suicide.
Lex is in her last year of highschool, hanging off the letterbox for acceptance to her dream college — and her brother killed himself. How is she supposed to function, or even ever be happy after that? And their mother? She’s in her 40s, but basically just says her life is over. She’s too sad. What’s the point of moving on? So Lex isn’t only trying to recover, she’s trying to keep her mum afloat too…and Lex has a secret.
IT’S NOT A GOOD SECRET, OKAY, PEOPLES?!
Lex had a real cold, mathematical outlook on life…but I clicked with her. Sometimes excessive snark turns me off and makes the character seem like a brat. Here? NOPE. It’s perfect. The author brilliantly wove Lex’s mathematical and logical personality into emotional moments that hurt.
The book definitely withholds answers. I WAS DESPERATE FOR DETAILS. But I had to wait till the last freaking page for all the answers. That right there? That’s is good writing. I felt the first 100-pages dragged, but once the story got going it was a roller coaster that went steadily down, my friend.
The book also touches on the fact that depression isn’t always super obvious. No one thought Ty would kill himself that night. They knew he was unhappy, but they didn’t know he was running on empty. LET ME CRY. I think it’s really important that the author wrote it like that. Depression doesn’t make sense. It’s really hard to live with.
Due to the 89% humidity my copy warped somewhat.
I pretty much loved this book.
The only downsides (in my precious opinion) was the slow beginning which made me a little apathetic and the length which I think could’ve been shorter and tighter. But the ending! I GOT VERY SNIFFLY. Life is unfair and this isn’t a happy book. It doesn’t “fix” all the things. There are gut-wrenching twists and horrific mistakes. There are some horribly good math pick-up lines. It’s brilliant. It’s hopeful. That is all.
Although (shhhh! secret time!) I like the American cover better.
The sticky-note is very very important (although it says something else in the book, obviously). But SHHH. I shall pretend to be loyal to my country.
Thank you HarperCollins AU for the review-copy! The Last Time We Say Goodbye by Cynthia Hand was published 1st of February, 2015.
The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn’t look at her like she might break down at any moment.
Now she’s just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that’s all she’ll ever be.
As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there’s a secret she hasn’t told anyone-a text Tyler sent, that could have changed everything.
Lex’s brother is gone. But Lex is about to discover that a ghost doesn’t have to be real to keep you from moving on.
Goodreads BookWorld HarperCollins AU Book Depository
do you usually cry on the inside or the outside? and how good are you at maths?! (come on, be honest now.) by the way, maths + crying = my life. ANYWAY! have you read this book? are you going to?!!
Cait @ Paper Fury
is so terribly awful at maths she spent most of her school-life crying over her textbooks. Numbers just don’t make sense people! They are slippery little monsters! She much prefers art which has no wrong answer. Currently she’s reading A Small Madness which is also sad. Oops.
I’m just going to go all out and diss my country right here, because WHAT IN THE NAME IN ALL THAT IS BOOKISH IS GOING ON WITH THAT ORANGE MESS OF A COVER??!! WHY COULDN’T WE GET THE BEAUTIFUL AMERICAN ONE??!! -_-
I’m not a cryer. BUT YOU KNOW THAT. Also: NICEEEEEE PICTURES. Especially that third one. 😀
Also, can I just say it’s good to be back reading your posts minutes after they pop into my inbox!! It’s also quite nice to be back in the first comment line too, hehe 😉 😀 I missed my daily Cait while I had no internet!! *huggles*
It's just not as…as…poignant as the US cover?! It's like so generic. -_- I almost always like the USA covers, seriously, like 9 times out of 10 we get the sucky end of the design deal. BUT WHATEVER. STILL GOOD BOOK. XDEeep, thank you! XD
THOSE PHOTOS ARE BRILLIANT AS ALWAYS. I love the one with the reflection. BUT YES THIS WAS SO SAD. Running on empty….ughhhhh tears. All the contemporaries I’ve been reading lately have been sad. What’s up with that???
I LIKE THAT ONE THE BEST TOO. I kind of edited it a bit to try and make the reflection more obvious. Meh. At least ONE decent thing came out of like 7 days straight of rain. *shrivels and cries a little* XDGah, sadness. But I agree, everything is sad these days. WHERE ARE THE HAPPIER CONTEMPORARIES?!
Math pick up lines?! I’M SO IN!!!
You know what, I’ve noticed that there’s been a lot of contemporaries out this year that deal with similar themes of mental illness. Frankly I’m not often a fan of these books because they’re just so heart wrenching and there are only so many times I can cry. I’m going to run out of tears soon because I’m a huge crier. :'( I want to read this book and all the other ones that’s come out this year but I need to prepare myself for them and be in the right mood. Glad it’s just amazing though, I want to know what’s on the sticky note too! (Shh but I like the US cover too :P)
It's true! The mental illness/physical sickness theme is at a pretty high and I'm okay with it…but it is very tiring. I feel exhausted by all the sadness, honestly. 0_0
I really want to read this book! But I have read too many books this year on heavy topics, like depression, suicide and cancer. This is on my TBR, but I need a breather from those heavy topics before reading this one. 🙂
I know right?! I have read SO many heavy-topic books this year too and it's only February!
Why am I such a masochist? I NOW WANT TO READ THIS. After all your talk about breaking hearts and tearing eyes (on the inside) I actually REALLY want to read this. Soon. I think in part because of the way you said depression is described. That’s a topic quite important and close to me, so I like to read good books about that (although I don’t think “like” is exactly the right word here :’) ).
Also. In other news. I ORDERED SCARLET. I WENT AND DID IT. AAAH.
WELL I AM MASOCHIST TOO, BECAUSE I KEEP READING SAD BOOKS. I just finished ANOTHER ONE today. Gah. Seriously someone give me a book about rainbows. okay, um, wait. Don't. 😉 The way this book dealt with depression really hit home for me too, and I think that's part of the reason I really LOVED this portrayal. Gah. Love/like…I feel awful for saying it. IT'S A SAD BOOK AND HERE I AM SAYING IT'S GOOD. THIS IS HARD.YAAAAAY FOR SCARLET!
I have this mantra – “It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real” – that I use whenever I’m about to cry at something fictional which stops me in my tracks. Oh, and the day I was able to drop maths was the happiest of my life. Adding this to TBR 😉 Love sarcasm and I’ve never read a book about a girl who liked maths before.
That is an awesome mantra. I need to steal that. I need to write that on my hand probably, while I read copious amounts of sad books. >_< Ugh, maths though. Ugh. Those little devious numbers. They made me cry.
I LOVED this one! Like you said, I felt it was a little slow in the beginning, but when it picked up, I fell in love with it. And OMG that last 50 pages KILLED me! I’m talking flat out ugly crying, and let me tell you, it was not pretty.
I CRIED UGLY ON THE INSIDE. That ending. I soooo did not expect to be as caught up as I was. *sniffles*
I quite like maths, but its not a priority compared to books, blogging, running, and other pieces of school. This book sounds interesting. But also sad. I would be pretty interested in reading this book. But the shadow cabinet takes priority (obviously) I just finishe dskulduggery pleasant 4 AND WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO BE THAT OBVIOUS?
OH YOU ARE READING SKULDUGGERY? YAY! I APPROVE! I'm up to 5 and I need to keep reading but I'm working on controlling my TBR and it's a slow process. *cries* I'm definitely reading 5 in march though FOR SURE.
Oh wow, this edition’s cover! <3 Though yeah, I think I like the U.S. one better, haha. I've been seeing some pretty mixed reviews for this book — some adored it and cried over it, like you, while others enjoyed the story but didn't find it all that emotional. And as a girl with a certified steel heart, I think I'll be part of the latter if I ever read this. D: (But that's the reason why I love emotional books. THEY'RE LIKE CHALLENGES TO SEE WHO CAN MAKE MEG CRY.)
Lex sounds like an interesting character, especially for a book like this. And Cynthia Hand must have been hella skilled to have been able to make her so relatable despite her calculating outlook on life. Usually I find robotic characters really boring, and most of the time they're the reasons why I give up on reading a book, tbh.
And I think I would be kind of put off by the slow beginning too, lol, because I'm a pretty impatient reader, and I like books to keep the pace going. But hey, at least I know what to expect now, right? A mindblowing ending?! And I'm super curious about all these mysterious answers we'll be getting in the last fifty or so pages. HOW MUCH CAN ONE REVEAL IN JUST FIFTY PAGES??
Anyways, brilliant review as always, Cait! (And can I say: your pictures are gorgeous!)
I have a certified steel heart AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. Gah. I'm losing my Vulcan touch. I'm with you on robotic characters. Like, I'm not sure if you've read I Was Here by Gayle Forman, but I couldn't STAND that main character, and I do see similarities between her and Lex. But Lex had a soul and dreams and incredible sadness and I think I connected to that a lot.NO YOU MAY NOT PEEK AT THE END.afjdklafsd! THANK YOU. I LOVE TAKING PICTURES. I'M WORKING HARD AT MY SKILLS, HEHE.
Cait, you need to read something cheerful, cheerful girl, seriously! Anyway.. this is great! I wasn’t sure about the book myself, it seemed adult-ish from the cover, which I avoid unless I’m certain, but the Australian cover, pardon me, I like it, reminds me of Don’t Even Think About It, simple, bright, beautiful. Weepy books, I need in my life, I shall seriously look for this one now, okay? Yes, all good. Great review! 🙂
I KNOW I'd ask you to recommend me something, but pffft, you got me into Skulduggery and that ain't happy either. 😉
I cry on the inside thank you very much. There’s a steady number of novels that deal with depression these days, huh? I like this trend, especially when the ones I’ve read so far don’t romanticize it. Depression is very real and it’s important that the book community recognizes this.
PS. I love math. And crying. Which I think makes me a psycho? Or whatever.
It is quite the rising trend, and I think it's good and is raising a lot of awareness. *nods*YOU ARE DEFINITELY PSYCHO. xD
That’s why we’re friends. 😉
I’ve been trying to avoid reading any more sad contemporaries after reading All the Bright Places, but this one looks tempting. I rarely ever cry on the outside, and math? I suck at math. Have you ever noticed how weird numbers look when you stare at them for too long?
I think All the Bright Places was worse, so….less tears? Maybe just a bucket instead of an Olympic pool?Bah, numbers look weird at any point. THEY ARE JUST ENEMIES TO ME.
CLEARLY I MUST READ THIS BOOK I AM IN NEED OF ALL THE FEELS. I’m a sucker for a good sad book, even if I have a heart of stone and cry basically never over books. xD But this one looks super good and I’m making myself ease into contemporary, so.
DUDE, YES. All of the feels. There is nothing like challenging a stony heart, amirite? I think that's half the reason I read so much sad stuff. xD
Oh no. =( What a sad book. It’s sounds interesting though so I’ve TBR’d it. Just bought All The Bright Places and I’m feeling very nervous about reading that, for the same reason I’d feel nervous to read The Last Time We Say Goodbye. I am pretty upbeat this week but last week my depression got really bad. It was bad before, but the stress of job interviewed made me feel really raw and like I had no idea what I was doing with my life. I never know whether it’s a good idea to read about similar experiences (to feel like others relate to me) or a bad idea (because its upsetting and doesn’t actually give any answers as to how to solve your problem.)
Thanks for reviewing it. I always find books from you I wouldn’t discover myself!
Oh all the Bright Places is SO MUCH WORSE. Ha! This book is a picnic compared to the emotionally destroying ATBP. I shall be here for emotional support if you need me. *nods*I totally understand that, and I don't think this one gives any problem solving advice because the kid with depression is dead from the beginning. 🙁 But I do understand how that can be a trigger, too, so don't go for it if you're in a hard place right now. I UNDERSTAND DEPRESSION, I DO.
I have to agree about the covers, I prefer the US one too. I am so excited to read this book, even though you have me convinced that it’s going to break me emotionally. I am very unvulcan like, so I will sob my poor little heart out and give this book all of my tears. You have sold me on it Cait, me and this book are happening soon!!!! 🙂
The US almost always have the better covers. It's not fair. I may stamp my foot and revolt quietly in the corner.
I’m such a fan of Cynthia Hand, loved her Unearthly series. I think our cover is more eye catching, but the US one is more appropriate, considering how emotional this one is. I’ve already bought my copy, just waiting for a few weeks to read it. I’ve read so many sad contemporaries lately that I’m trying to move away from them for my next few reads. There’s only so much waterproof mascara I can wear before I start looking like a drag queen.
Lovely review Smushie <3 I think you might need a hug *launches self at Cait*
I seriously need to dig out ALL OF HER BOOKS NOW. Darn that ginormous TBR. *glares at it* I love discovering authors who actually have more books out so I can go eat them all. All the contemporaries are sad at the moment. I've only got one left from my review-copies and…I think it's about murder or cancer or something equally devestating.
Well, thank you, Cait. Now you’ve done it. You’ve got me hooked on this book now. I really want to know what Lex’s secret is, and I love that she has a very mathematical way of looking at the world. At the same time, though, I’m not a huge fan of suicide books. I was in a similar situation as Lex, except nowhere near as close, but suicide books still are a bit iffy for me. Granted, I’ve only read one, All the Bright Places, but still. I definitely agree that depression isn’t always obvious. It can actually be very hidden most of the time, which makes everything worse. I’ll think about reading this one…
Oh oh oh, you do want to know her secret at the same time you don't. IT HURTS, OKAY? IT ALL HURTS. *rocks quietly in the corner sobbing*
We all know the real reason your book bent that way… It’s really water damaged by your tears buahahaa. Joking 😛
But…. I can’t believe there’s a other book about suicide out there that JUST RELEASED. That’s like… The 4th book this year alone.
I like how each of the books focus on something different, I love Cynthia Hand so I’m sure I’ll enjoy this one too. Great review Cait 🙂
NO I SWEAR IT'S HUMIDITY. *blinks innocently* Not my tears, no no no….*collapses**cries*SO YEAH. SAD BOOK. All the contemporaries this year are sad. -_-
Cait you have a serious addiction to sadness in books and it’s quite disturbing. XD READ SOME HAPPY THINGS PLZ!
And I cry on the outside. Sometimes. But it has to be real sad. WHICH MIGHT BE WHY I DON’T READ ALL THE BOOKS YOU DO. XD
Maths. Eww. (And I know you’re always loyal to your country except, apparently, in the matter of book covers…)
YES, IT IS TRUE. I HAVE A LOT. But in my defence a lot of them come unsolicited so I just read what's new and it seems 2015 is the year of SAD CONTEMPORARIES. *flails and collapses* Pfft, I'm definitely not loyal to my country when it comes to book covers. We always get the raw end of the deal. *Sigh*
I had the same exact opinion about this one Cait (I think I need to stop being so surprised at how similar our opinions are – ha!) This was such a sad and beautifully written book. It takes a lot for me to cry from a book (Vulcan as well!), but this one was so, so close. And did you read the author’s note? Probably the saddest part of the entire book. Lex was such a wonderful character, and I am so glad she eventually got a bit of closure. Wonderful review + photos – as always!
YAY ZOE YOU ARE BACK! I MUST EMAIL YOU! Haha, yes, it's typical now and not a surprise, eh?! 😉 *Vulcan sci-five* Omg, yes, I did read the author's note and I cannot imagine having written this when it's so raw and so heavily attached to her own life. It must've been so so hard.
It looks awesome! In a sad kind of “I’m going to cry from all the feels” sort of way. Still
I cry on the inside AND the outside. Lots. I have basically no ability to control my emotions. It’s a problem.
Speaking of problems, the maths are problems (HA no pun intended, but it works!) because I am terrible. But I do know I need to read this book soon, very soon. I have the American cover, for it is prettier. I usually base all purchases on that, if we are being honest.
And YES I am going to read this book. Probably as soon as I finish the one I am reading. Which I plan on doing after I hit “post comment”.
I’m rubbish at math. Absolutely awful at it. I can only function on basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division if I’m lucky.
Also, I’m an ugly crier. I cry on the inside and those tears just gush out. I cry about a lot of things now that I think about it.
This looks like a book I’d cry in A LOT!!! If you were dying inside your little Vulcan mind, I will be sobbing on the ground holding my heart!!!!! I do like the sticky note one better..it looks more mysterious rather than ORANGE???? I’m sorry but me and orange do not get along.
Lovely review Cait!!!! xoxo
*flails* I had no idea what this book was even about until now but THAT COVER. Sooooo pretty. Me like. 🙂
OH SAD BOOKS. Even when the blurb explicitly implies a sad book or I’ve been seeing it around and people have cried…I’ll go ahead and read it.
Like, WHAT. It’s like I’m begging for tears.
Aww, this book sounds so poignant and lovely. Guess I’m adding it to my TBR XD
I feel like this book is going to hit me hard. It sounds so heartbreaking.
Ah she’s mathematical? That reminds me so much of Falling into Place by Amy Zhang! I was wondering what the significance of the sticky note is. Glad to hear you enjoyed it Cait!
Okay, who decided this was the year of death and suicide? Because SERIOUSLY THEY ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE IN YA! I’ve only really liked one I’ve read so far, but seeing your four stars for this one makes me hopeful I’ll like it, too. Cool snippet photo on the front page for this, btw, definitely made me clicky the linky!
THEY ARE. It's rather incredible actually….did the publishers time this or are the authors thinking in sync?! XD I feel like this one is a little different, but books always mean different things to different people, eh?