I am an odd thing. I know, I know, it’s super hard to tell because I excel in general fabulousness — but I do find it hard to connect to a many bookish characters. Mostly I sit there thinking, “If there was one sandwich left in the universe, I would eat it alone. That’s our relationship.”
I’m monstrously unfeeling.
Basically, I have lists and lists of characters I haven’t connected to. Sometimes I still like the book! Other times, the book is mush to me.
So let us peruse 10 characters I wouldn’t share the Last Sandwich On Earth with.
Although, I don’t want to hate here! Because reading is super subjective and no doubt I’ll be listing someone’s favourite character. SO HERE WE GO.
This Week’s Prompt: Ten Characters You Just Didn’t Click With
1. AVA FROM MAGONIA
I got severely annoyed at Aza Ray Boyle because she played the “sick card”. She was rude and belligerent because no one could be too mad at her because she might die. Seriously!? That’s how you want to be remembered? I do not understand Aza. Not one little bit. Someone put this crankasaurus in time-out.
2. SPHINXIE FROM BREAKING BUTTERFLIES
So Sphinxie (yes, this is her name) got slashed in the face by her sociopathic childhood friend, Cadence. Then, YA KNOW, he pushed her into a table, tried to kill her, etc. etc. And Sphinxie just sits there going, “But maybe this time he’ll be nice!”
3. ALICE AND HARVEY FROM SIDE EFFECTS MAY VARY
I couldn’t understand Alice OR Harvey. NOT AT ALL. My side affects from reading were nausea and dizziness and spontaneous urge to run into a brick wall.
Alice was a MEAN GIRL. She was horrible and cruel to everyone because….she lived. Yup. She didn’t die from cancer. EXCUSE ME BUT HOW IS THIS A BAD THING? And Harvey? He just let Alice bully him and loved her for it. No. No this isn’t healthy or right.
4. DARREN FROM ME BEING ME IS EXACTLY AS INSANE AS YOU BEING YOU
I don’t think there were any thoughts in Darren’s brain. None. He had no goals in life, no hobbies, no interests. Is it possible to exist without anything substantial in your mind??? Seriously???
5. ED FROM I AM THE MESSENGER
This book and I didn’t become insta BFFs. I suppose I shouldn’t have gone in expecting another The Book Thief, right?! BUT I COULDN’T HELP IT. Least to say, Ed was a plain and average dude. I didn’t understand him. Plus he had a huge stinky German Shepherd that he fed ice cream and lasagna. DUDE! HOW COULD YOU?!? He was poisoning his dog. Diary and onions are the worst things you can feed a dog ever. I spent more time panicking over that then paying attention to the storyline.
6. CODY FROM I WAS HERE
She was totally…indifferent. To everything. And then she stalks a dude to get closure for her friend’s death. I don’t care if the dude is an EVIL BAD APPLE. You don’t stalk! You just don’t! It’s illegal and wrong!
7. ANIKA FROM ANATOMY OF A MISFIT
Anika’s really snarky and I thought I’d like that…but she’s really really super cruel. Maybe I’m being cruel by not sharing my hypothetical Last Sandwich In the World but, seriously, this girl dishes out cruelness at every opportunity.
I had to share [a bedroom] with Lizzie for a while but I just kept calling her a slut all night till she begged Mom to move her. Sounds mean, but the thing is, all she ever does is talk to boys all night on the phone and make it impossible to study.
She calls everyone a slut. WHICH IS AWFUL, REALLY. And in the next breath she whines that no one likes her. I WONDER WHY.
8. EVERYONE FROM TAKE BACK THE SKIES
If I’d been eating my hypothetical sandwich while reading this book — I would’ve choked and died. BECAUSE THIS BOOK MAKES ZERO SENSE. It’s sexist and the characters were uber immature and the Great Big Plan of Evil was to get rid of all the lower-class people. Just…ya know…kill them all? Um. Please explain to me how this makes sense. Don’t the rich people understand how an economy works?
9. THEON FROM A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE
Ugh what is the point of Theon? He whinges, he whines, he has daddy-issues, and I JUST CAN’T STAND HIM. He’s also disgustingly sexist and uses women horrendously. Ugh. Uuuuuugh.
10. ISLA FROM ISLA AND THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
I loved the first two books in this series…but Isla?! AGH, ISLA. She was so needy. And she suffered from a bad case of thought-vomit and, agh, shuuuuush, Isla. I am so embarrassed listening to you. She also can’t function without a boy in her life. Plus her boyfriend writes a book and it’s not about her and she gets 900% offended. Really?