You know what we never talk about enough around here? BOOKS, OBVIOUSLY.
Haaa HA ha ha…just KIDDING! I mention them once or twice, when I’m not pretending this blog isn’t completely about cake and how many rainbow books I can fit into one photo. (#Lies. That is exactly what my blog is for.) But there is an aspect of my book blogging, authorly, and bookworm life that I haven’t discussed here and I’m very passionate about so what are we waiting for?! *
Today I’m having a Q&A with my friend @DaleyDowning to talk a bit about how we’re both on the autism spectrum and how our autism affects our reading, blogging, and writing lives! This is definitely a different post to what I usually shout at you about, so I confess to N E R V E S. At least two of them, maybe three.
Since I’ve never actually discussed my autism on the blog before, I’ll do a little mini FAQ before I faceplant into the discussion like the truly chill person I am.
* I mean I’m waiting for the apocalypse. But whatever.
- Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is exactly what is says: a spectrum. So everyone is super different.
- It’s a disability, NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS. Although it’s usually a pre-packaged deal with mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression.
- People like to classify autistics as “high functioning” vs “low functioning” which is fair, but hard to gauge because autism isn’t a line. There are “low functioning” autistics who can talk to strangers. There are “high functioning” autistics who can’t leave their house.
- Girls are often under-diagnosed because we can blend in more easily than boys. Hence I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 21.
- I’m not an expert on anyone’s autism except my own!
- Some really excellent YA novels with good autism rep are: Lady Midnight, Queens of Geek, Kids Like Us, and Things I Should Have Known.
- Contrary to the myths, autistic people don’t eat their followers’ souls. That’s just me. Mwah hahaha. Aren’t you SO GLAD TO BE HERE.
ALRIGHT LET’S DIVE INTO THE Q&A!
And don’t forget to go check out Daley’s blog! She’s an author and bookworm and her first book came out this year WHICH IS COOL. It’s about magic, faeries, talking cats, and secret organisations.
1. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE GENRES TO READ AND WHY?
DALEY: Fantasy and YA. Sometimes historical fiction. Mostly it’s because I don’t have a very strong attention span, so I really prefer shorter novels (300 or so pages) and styles that don’t include 17-letter words that I constantly have to look up. Also I like to be able to pronounce the character and place names, so I’m not huge on high fantasy or sci-fi.
CAIT: My truest love is also fantasy, everything from magical realism to high fantasy. Basically = please let there be knives and dragons. But lately I’ve really fallen in love with contemporary YA too. I’m finding the new releases to be really emotional, raw, diverse, and prone to breaking your feels and while you cry into your cake about it. Books are so nice. I mean.
2. WHO ARE YOUR FAVOURITE AUTHORS?
DALEY: Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Erin Hunter, JK Rowling.
CAIT: Maggie Stiefvater and VE Schwab win for BEST OF BEST…but I also adore Cassandra Clare, John Green, Leigh Bardugo, Scott Lynch, Adam Silvera, and Jay Kristoff! (Yes I’m sorry but I’m allergic to minimizing my answers to this kind of question.)
3. WHICH GENRES DO YOU PREFER TO WRITE AND WHY?
DALEY: Fantasy, for sure, but also contemporary. (I have created my own genre, called suburban fantasy – since my plot/characters are generally set in small town communities in modern times.) It’s so much easier for me to keep up with the language and technology and fashion of an era I (more or less) understand, than trying to go back a hundred or more years.
CAIT: I’m with Daley in that my top 2 genres are definitely fantasy and contemporary. I write a lot of epic fantasy, but I’m dying to try magical realism. The idea of having WiFi and chocolate ice cream BUT ALSO faeries and dark magic just is pleasing. I also write just YA contemporary, which is 50% me being able to make a shameful amount of puns and add in Tumblr humour and 50% me trying not to let everyone get murdered because apparently that’s not normal for contemporaries. Who knew??? Amazing. I have written sci-fi before but HAHA NEVER AGAIN. I DO NOT SCIENCE.
4. WHAT PARTICULARLY ASPECTS OF WRITING DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH, AS AN AUTISTIC AUTHOR?
DALEY: Making sure my NT (neurotypical) characters behave in ways non-autistic people would behave. (Depending on the scene, that can be really hard.) Also not cutting short dialogue (because I can’t come up with the corresponding emotional reactions), and explaining action sufficiently (my brain likes to get ahead of my fingers).
CAIT: I’ve always struggled with writing characters, particularly relationships…ok fine, particularly romances. Since I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until a few years ago, I didn’t know why I this was so hard for me and it genuinely freaked me out that my characters couldn’t seem to move beyond sassing each other to death. (Though I still see no downside in that. My aesthetic.) But I’ve put a heckin’ lot of work in with a lot of research through reading and it pays off! As a writer, I think it’s our duty to write from different perspectives and work at it!
CAIT: I also write a lot of neurodiverse characters but not intentionally. Recently I finished a book with my first canon autistic character and my sister read it and said, “OK so who isn’t autistic here?” WHOOPS. So it slips in. Just like it’d take conscious effort for a neurotypical (non-autistic) author to write an autistic character, it’s the same for us vice versa. We have to translate and analyse. I’ll be asked by betas to explain myself more and put more emotional connection on page. “You know your characters can touch right?!?” I’ve been told for my romances and then realised with surprise that I hadn’t done that because my autistic-self hates physical contact so I accidentally avoid writing it. And just like Daley, I find myself doing a double take on how I’ve made my neurotypical characters act. It feels like a big messy puzzle and one I didn’t even know I was putting the pieces in backwards until recently. But do I enjoy the puzzle? #YES.
5. AS AN AUTISTIC READER, DO YOU HAVE SPECIFIC TRIGGERS OR EXTREME DISLIKES THAT YOU TRY TO AVOID WHEN YOU CHOOSE BOOKS?
DALEY: I don’t like explicit, graphic violence or sexual content or lots of profanity. Too much info-dumping really bores me and makes me not invested in the story. And I’m not one for 5-paragraph descriptions of how the character’s shoes were made.
CAIT: I’m opposite to Daley though in that I love dark books. Darker the better yessss. (I’m sure I’m fine, shh don’t fret.) But some of my biggest triggers are: (1) talking flippantly about suicide, and (2) actually reading bad representation of autism in books…which happens a lot. When you see “your people” in books but they’re constantly belittled or forced to change or just written with condescending stereotypes, it gets to you. I’ve finished YA books about autism and felt anxious and ill afterwards. So that’s what problematic representation does to those in the minority, peoples.
6. DO YOU FEEL THAT FINDING NT (NEUROTYPICAL) CHARACTERS IN BOOKS THAT YOU CAN RELATE TO IS HARD?
DALEY: Sometimes, yes. Often I like to read about protagonists who are introverts or who have traits that put them closer to the autism spectrum (even if they’re not actually on it), because I simply can’t connect with people who have 345 friends and are always going places and like having a 9-5 job. And finding narrators/protagonists who experience sensory issues (like a fear of crowds or loud noises and the ensuing physical responses) is very rare and precious.
CAIT: Again I’m so with you, Daley! I love finding characters who have a lot of autism traits because I instantly connect. Sometimes they won’t be diagnosed on page, but I will headcanon that they are and it IS SO NICE. (Especially in fantasy! Where are my fantasy autistics?!) However? The average protagonist…no I don’t relate to them. I actually freak out over this and all my low-star ratings on books I review. Is it because I don’t relate? Am I doing the book a disservice because my brain + that book = aren’t compatible? But fretting aside — I CAN enjoy a book and not “relate.” Good writing wins.
7. DO YOU FEEL THAT WRITING FROM AN AUTISTIC PERSPECTIVE WILL MAKE YOUR OWN NOVELS DIFFICULT FOR MOST PEOPLE TO CONNECT WITH?
DALEY: I do worry about it a little. Since I have 2 characters on the spectrum, they’re really easy to write; and yet, I truly hope I can describe their experiences in a way NT readers will understand and get something from. There are certain things about myself that I just can’t alter or adjust to seeing in a purely NT way, so I do A LOT of editing before I consider my manuscripts complete, hoping to achieve a good middle ground.
CAIT: Again, I hadn’t thought about this till recently…but I’ve worried about it! I also worry that if I write “too many autistic characters” people won’t be as interested in my work. Is that worry unfounded? Maybe??? But I see SO MANY reviewers on Goodreads reading a book with an autistic character and their first comment is: “Well I didn’t relate obviously because I’m not autistic.” It makes me sad. Then it makes me worried. I don’t think it SHOULD be a problem because if I can relate to a neurotypical, why shouldn’t you relate to an autistic? But so far, any betas I’ve had have all found my books delightfully stabby and relatable and I’ve had NO problems. OK fine they didn’t say “delightfully stabby” but I’m sure they think that deep inside.
8. HOW DO YOU PREPARE TO WRITE? WHAT’S THE ENVIRONMENT YOU NEED TO BE PRODUCTIVE?
DALEY: I like it quiet, not many (or any) people around. The cat is fine. Sometimes I like to put on music, or a movie I’ve seen 14 million times, so it just becomes background. Definitely I need to have been thinking tons about my next plot point or moment in the character arc. Usually I handwrite my first draft, then take everything to the computer from there for easier revising and editing.
CAIT: I need 100% silence. I have noise-cancelling headphones to help with this. I also need a very tight schedule to be fully productive. So I write in “binge sessions” and will put in 8+ hour workdays with every minute accounted for (WITH RESTS OK I’M NOT A MACHINE). People often ask me how I even focus for that long and…well I literally can’t focus like that for ANYTHING else. (I have the attention span of a gnat.) But writing? Dude, I just don’t stop. I get into hyper-focus and I’m gone.
9. ARE YOU PURSING TRADITIONAL OR SELF-PUBLISHING, AND WHAT ARE YOUR REASONS?
DALEY: Self-publishing, because I got really tired of sending out queries to agents and getting this response: “We feel your work is promising, but…” The “but” always related to something autistic I’d done (often without even realizing it) in the manuscript, and most people aren’t well-educated on ASD, so they didn’t even consider that the writer was ASD or even close to that possibility. So it boiled down to they liked my premise and my style, but they didn’t get the plot points or MC’s motivations. Through self-publishing, I have total creative control, and no one telling me “not to be autistic.”
CAIT: I have a really lovely and understanding literary agent in the UK and I honestly don’t think I’ve had any hiccups that a non-autistic writer pursing traditional publishing wouldn’t have had too! It’s long and hard journey and YOU GOTTA BE PATIENT even when you want to eat a brick wall. But my agent is extremely understanding and there has been 0% problems with the facts that (a) I’m autistic, (b) I can’t do phone calls because of social anxiety and I’m not good at speaking out loud, and (c) the way I think and write stories.
10. WHAT DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT BEING AN AUTISTIC WRITER AND READER?
DALEY: That we frequently won’t see things the way you do – we may never like the same authors you do, or the same genres, for very valid reasons. And it doesn’t mean we’re being stubborn or extremely judgemental. Often I’ve read books that weren’t for me at all, but I still considered them to be well-written and even recommended them to other readers. Also that as writers, we work REALLY, REALLY HARD to craft a tale that can be enjoyed by a variety of people (I can guarantee harder than most authors, and many of them do work their tails off). And that you shouldn’t worry that you won’t be able to relate to our writing; lots of NT readers have really enjoyed my debut novel. (You may even learn something about how we think and why we act the way we do, and that’s all good.)
CAIT: I love what Daley’s said there! I also think that it’d be nice if NT readers didn’t go into a book by an autistic author or about an autistic character with the assumption they’re not going to relate. Just enjoy the story. Don’t put up mental-roadblocks yourself. Our brains are having a slightly different party to yours, but it’s still a freaking cool party.
I love this post Cait. <3 So very brave and awesome of both of you.
Lots of love and hugs.
Ahhh thanks so much, Bee!! So glad to be talking about everything! <3
This is an excellent post, Cait. Thank you to both of you for sharing your perspective.
I deliberately look for autistic characters in books, but I had to stop reading one recently which involved a young autistic girl in an abusive family situation.
Of my two autistic children, one loves books and reading, the other really doesn’t relate to fiction books at all and especially not books with realistic characters. I’d love to find something that clicks for her.
Have you always loved fiction?
Ahhh, thanks so much for reading, Nicole! Not that it’s a surprise to you, I know.😂 But I’m finally chatting about it! (What’s the title of the one you stopped reading? I’m always desperately looking for more too, but bad rep makes me so ill.)
I have honestly always been obsessed with fiction. I was writing stories when I was super little (aka: stealing fairy tales and telling everyone I made them up😂). I think it’s always been my way to relate/understand the world, which is so good. <3
It was Ginny Moon. She was in foster care and loved and trusted her mother who had treated her pretty badly, and I just couldn’t read on. It all may have ended well for her, but it was just too emotional for me.
OH yeah. I read that one. It really broke my heart how horrible the parents were to her. Like love is expendable, especially if you get a “better option”??? 😭 I did like the ending but I only gave it 3-stars because the parents were so wrong.
I loved this post! That was actually really eye-opening talking about the challenge of balancing out autistic vs non-autistic characters in your books. I feel like I can relate to that with appearances (that old horse), being white, straight, not-that-introverted and British/Australian I’m THAT category so when I first wrote my book as a terribly half-finished draft and reread it, I was like OH GOD. EVERYTHING MUST CHANGE. It was honestly quite startling to realise that whilst it was an honest oversight of my younger-self’s planning by just sort of reflecting everything I was familiar with, being THAT category of person makes me feel like it’s my duty to make sure I do not over represent it. I felt like it would be seriously harmful to ignore all the other possibilities of representation out there – which is maybe a little harsh on myself but I still think it’s true.
I’ve found that over time with the more books I read with the more diversity that I seem to be finding in my reading it’s much easier for me to write about characters who are very different from myself. Even if it’s as simple as remember that HELLO I’m writing fantasy and my characters should not be all white as daisies. Apart from anything it’s a highly impractical skin colour for hiking (THE BURNSS). But it is still always a challenge when I sit down and write to separate my brain from what is familiar to me and really dig into EVERYTHING else – like making green gnomes who fly around the world on daisy chains and have six eyes.
I really want to read more about both disabilities and mental health issues in books because that is total foreign territory to me at the end of the day. SO UM CAIT, YOU HAVE AN AGENT? WHERE BE YOUR BOOKS AT? I’M WAITING.
I’m so so glad you liked it, Kirstie!! *flails quietly* 😂😂
I totally hear you about accidentally writing really “white/straight/able-bodied” characters. My first books were terrifically horrible for that.😂 It’s a huge embarrassment. It really does sort of erase the world? And I’m glad we can learn and explore and just research so so much to try and write other aspects of the world properly! Writing is honestly the hugest challenge of ever. Anyone who thinks its easy needs to go sit in a fridge.😂 WE WORK SO HARD.
(Haha, MAYBE ONE DAY I’LL HAVE A BOOK OUT.😂)
This is a great post! I got so many new information from it! I often wonder about how it is like for autistic people, and would love to read more books with realistic representation of autistic characters but I never know whether it’s realistic or not because I don’t know enough about it.
Since I’m not really an author (yet, hopefully), I can’t tell how it affects my writing (except not being able to do it for a long time sometimes), but I do have problems with writing about my personal experience, and I don’t know why.
I have problems with depression/anxiety (at least that’s my official diagnosis for now) and I hate when it’s represented flippantly or not dealt with it properly. I mean, it’s a serious problem, not just a character’s trait.
Whoops I somehow managed to post the comment before I finished it. Anyways, I recently read a book which dealt with cancer for more than 100 pages but gave depression like 5 pages. Okay, it’s a short book but maybe don’t include it in if you’re going to do that. I love reading good books about it, because it gives me feeling that I’m not alone (I mean, I DO KNOW I’m not alone in dealing with it but it helps). I also have problems with mentioning suicide often and just like…well, that happened, let’s move on to the main story now.
I know it’s hard to explain it (currently trying to explain anxiety to a friend who never had problems with it), but if you see you can’t do it…MAYBE DON’T DO IT?
Anyway, that’s the end of my rant and thanks for reading it (probably :))
Writing about personal stuff iS HARD THO, so I’m completely with you! I almost think it’s easier to write about things that are a little detached, not so personal, to us? And agreed about the anxiety/depression (I struggle with them too)…it’s legit insulting when books get things wrong and just minimising what it’s truly like. I’ve read books that throw depression/suicide in as the “wow thriller ending!” and it SUCKS and it’s problematic and awful. We deserve better. (And agreed: if someone is nervous to write something accurately then they’re probably not ready to write it.)
I LOVED your comments! It was really great reading your perspective. Neeever be sorry!!
Thank you both for this post! It’s really excellent and eye-opening. <3
I suppose I belong to a minority in the way that I grew up overseas, in two entirely different cultures. And now that I live in my "home" culture (which is essentially my passport culture) I can often feel out of place. As my family jokes, the only place we feel we truly belong is on the airplane trip between both countries. 🙂 Also my accent…gosh literally no one has been able to tell me what it is. xD But being exposed to all these different cultures and ways of thinking has definitely changed my writing and reading! It's given me a deeper empathy and understanding of cultures, and has made me more negative towards aspects of them. Also, whenever I read a character who seems to slide into a new culture without any issues…it immediately jerks me out of the narrative, because there are ALWAYS struggles; most of them in your mind.
Sorry, essay over! 😀 Thanks to both of you once again!
I’m so glad you liked it, Melissa! THANK YOU.
And I love reading about your experience there too! I can imagine that’d have a HUGE influence on your writing and life, just having so much experience and knowledge of differnet cultures. (Although it’d be hard at times too right?) Doon’t be sorry. I loved reading this comment so much!
I…WOW. I was literally hanging on to EVERY WORD OF THIS POST. I didn’t skim or scan I just…so intrigued and captured and this WAS SO WELL PUT TOGETHER! I honestly get why you were nervous but like…THIS IS AMAZING!!! Especially because I hardly hear about GIRLS with autism so this was like..SUPER COOL! And than you for putting the ‘Autism is a disability and not a mental illness’ –> I think a lot of people get confused with this so thank YOU!!! You guys are literally SO AWESOME! I didn’t know half the stuff that autistic writers struggled with but also how productive you can be! CAIIITTT, i want to read one of your novels. I don’t have Autism but omg I still find romance scenes SO HARD TO WRITTEEE.
OMG, ILSA. DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE SUPER SWEET. ❤️❤️ And honestly I think we need to see more autistic girls in books too, because we’re not magical rare unicorns. 😂
(Also like romance is just ridiculously hard to write??? CAN WE GET GHOST WRITERS.)
This was such an awesome post. I am a special education teacher so I really try to notice when books have good representation. I have noticed the “did not relate” reviews too. I don’t think that people always realize how vast and varied ASD is. It literally looks different on everyone. It is one reason that I think girls are so underidentified. Often they don’t confirm to our stereotypical ideas of what ASD looks like.
It does look so different for everyone! I think that’s why it’s often quite hard to diagnose for sure. (Like my niece and nephew are both on the spectrum and both SO DIFFERENT in personalities and ways they display.) I think that’s also why it’s really important for books to challenge stereotypes. I mean some are definitely true! The problem is when a character uses ALL the stereotypes together. That never happens.😂
Wow, Cait. Thanks so much to you and Dale for sharing this. I know some autistic people but not that well (at least not ones who have been diagnosed), and it’s just really good to see through your eyes a little bit. I haven’t read many books with autistic characters, at least not canon ones, and I don’t feel like I”m good at knowing whether the rep is good or not…so I’m always eager for more recommendations if you have them! So this is a hard question, feel free not to answer, and I don’t mean to judge or imply that being neurotypical is better or anything because that’s not the case…but would you change being autistic if you could? Was it hard for you to accept that part of your identity? As a biracial New Zealand-Indian, I don’t feel like I’ve ever found a book that has fully reflected my experience (maybe I should write a memoir, lol) I liked Iris in Night Swimming but was sad that her Indian or New Zealandness didn’t really translate. At the same time the half New Zealander in Tash Hearts Tolstoy called her grandmother ‘grandmum’ and I was just like CAN YOU NOT because I know 0 people who call their grandparents that. In general, I just want to read more TCK books, because that’s an important part of who I am and I don’t see it. And also setting that AREN’T IN THE DEVELOPED WORLD (as problematic as the implications of that term are).
Also sorry I haven’t been around much! I swear I’ve been reading your posts! But I was travelling in Thailand (for fun and with bonus points for setting research) and just worried/consumed by that. But I loved reading this <3 <3
(I hope you had a really good trip!! THAILAND IS SO COOL. Not that I’ve been but my parents have and it looked amazing. 😍 Also excellent research material ahha. Good on you!)
So recommendations: I listed some at the top of the post (under the “smol FAQ” section!) but I definitely found absolutely excellent rep in Lady Midnight, Queens of Geek, and Kids Like Us! And I think it’s SORT of canon, but Miles form Made You Up is autistic. My friend asked the author and she confirmed, but it’s technically not on the page. Anyway he is like SO REALLY GOOD.
So as for the “would you change being autistic if you could”…nope. It’d be like not being me. It’d be like being a totally different person because it’s how my brain works. I guess it’d be like, for you, not being New Zealand-Indian. You wouldn’t be YOU without that. (I also am sad you can’t find any books that really rep your background. WRITE SOME, SHANTI, THE WORLD NEEDS YOU.)
Great post Cait, I have to admit autism is not something I’m all that familiar with, so it was great to read about both yours and Daley’s experiences. I don’t know exactly how much my life experiences have influenced my writing, the only thing I can really come up with is that I wrote my first novel to have no romance because I got (and still am) so tired of seeing teens constantly coupled up when I was a teen who had never had any kind of romantic experience. I know I’m writing from a place of privilege, and I’m not sure how good the diversity in my first novel was, but I’m trying to work on it in my next one. I actually don’t think I’ve read any novels with autistic characters! Any recommendations for good ones?
Thanks so much for reading, Jo!! I’m SUPER glad you liked it.
And honestly? I think there’s way too much romance in YA too.😂 I literally have a Goodreads shelf for non-romantic books and I cheer whenever I find one haha. I have liked the challenge of learning how to write romance though! But I do hope one day I can pull off a book without one. 😉
So I listed some good autistic books at the top of this post (under the “smol FAQ” section!) but definitely look out for Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde, and Kids Like Us (out the end of October!) and Are You Seeing Me? and Lady Midnight!
You don’t understand how much I loved this post! It was so interesting to learn more about both of your writing and reading habits/experiences.
I think that I can low-key relate to many autistic traits, and I also tend to connect with those characters really easily as well. I think this is also why I continue to read your blog and feel understood with many of the underlying things you transmit to me. I personally have no issues with that extra leap into violence, physical touch, or sexual content in books, and I like dark things too. But IRL I find it easier to talk to people and connect to them when in small groups rather than large reunions. I drift to the side of a room and REALLY enjoy silence or being alone.
I don’t like FEELING alone, but after meeting other HUMAN BEINGS I need to go away for a while. I read Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde and LOVED it. The characters were very well-written in my opinion, and I’m glad that you think representation was good. I’m really afraid and not 100% fine with reading a book that I can be bad to another because of their stereotypes, bad rep, disregard or rudeness because, if I’m not aware that it might be harmful, then I may use that book as a source of information about a disability, mental illness, sexuality, etc. Then I would have misguided thoughts and general ideas of what being like that is.
I guess that if I wanted to learn more I could type into the internet and research, but those kinds of articles are usually hard and straightforward, and they don’t portray humans to me, only rock-hard facts. I prefer to find a good book with a good rep that portrays these traits and characteristics by applying them to a person in real-life situations.
I struggle to find the right words when talking about such themes because I continually worry about offending anyone or causing harm. This is mainly because, just like everyone, I’m ignorant about many things, and because of my lack of info. I’m afraid I could say something that is not accurate.
I’d REALLY love to write a diverse book that is as diverse as the world, write myself into it, and write all types of people too. It’s hard because I really CANNOT understand everyone on Earth and what they go through, but that’s also why I seek accurate books that portray.
Lovely, lovely discussion. I am so honored that you decided to share your thoughts with us. BLESS YOU and thank you so much to Daley too!
THANKS, SOPHIE. I’M SUPER PLEASED YOU LIKED IT!! My nervousness is for nothing.😂😂 EXCELLENT. hehe.
And I’m SO glad we have a lot to relate to. *hi fives* Which is just proof that being on the autism spectrum or not doesn’t make anyone “unrelatable”. We’re all different but we can find SO many ways to relate. (Also like why do people even socialise in loud groups. C’mon. WHY.)😂
I totally hear you about being worried about bad rep. I recently had someone recommend me an autism book saying it was “really good rep!” but they unfortunately…were very wrong.😂 They didn’t have autism either. So I guess it’s annoying/frustrating because I don’t think the world is very well educate don it? We get fed stereotypes. I mean, for goodness sakes when my parents and I decided we should pursue a diagnosis I kept saying: “But I can’t have it? I have an imagination??” Because like a HUGE horrible stereotype is that autistic people don’t have empathy or imaginations. So we REALLY need more accurate education and representation. Especially in books, I think.
(And honestly it IS hard to google and find out? Some people have really weird opinions on there. If you hear anyone start talking about “cures” then leave.😂 Same with Autism Speaks. They’re a super problematic but loud organisation that actually believes in cure culture.)
Anyway, I TOTALLY understand the fear! I’m terrified of being accidentally offensive about things too. So just know I am here to answer things and NEVER bite heads off. <3 And I read a sheer ton of books about all sorts of disorders and minorities and diversities just to try and understand people better! It's interesting and really good!
This made me very happy!!
I’m also on the spectrum (but was diagnosed late like you) and lately I’ve been holding back on posting reviews because I feel like I’m not the right “judge” for the books.. But I know that there’s loads of people like me so really it’s quite stupid to think like this… It’s just UGH! But thank you for this!!
But yay this blog post really made me happy!!
(sorry for the rambling)
Don’t be sorry for rambling! I LOVE your comment and honestly it’s the coolest thing to meet more autistic people!! <3 And really: don't hold back in your reviews. Maybe our perspectives are different to the NT people's but that doesn't make our perspectives invalid. Review however ou want, Silje!!
Thank you ☺️ I never thought about how important it is to show “our” perspective!!
On another note, have you seen the Netflix series called Atypical? I read a review from another autistic person and he said that the main character is basically a laughing stock…😡 So now I’m afraid to watch it .. REALLY HOW HARD IS IT TO MAKE SOME GOOD REPRESENTATION?!? god damn.
I HAVE seen Atypical and unfortunately I agree with that review…they use the autistic boy’s struggles as the comedy aspect. And it’s so infuriating. Particularly when they did a LOT of right things with the portrayal! (Although overall it’s pretty cliche.) But the overall message was: let’s cheer this boy on when he’s LESS autistic. *rolls eyes so hard* I don’t recommend it.😭😭
Are you kidding me.. 😡 😡 Now I’m definitely not going to watch this show ☹️
Oh well, let the search continue to find good representation .. I low key feel like it’s a never-ending treasure hunt 🗺
(But I’m definitely putting the books you suggested on my TBR 😃 )
Just curious, have you seen the movie Temple Grandin? It’s non-fiction, but she is SUPER COOL! I’m not on the spectrum myself, but the real person the movie is about approves of it, so, I feel like that means it’s a pretty accurate rep? Hopefully? 🙂
I’ve actually read one of her books! She seems pretty awesome! 😎 I haven’t seen the movie yet (I actually forgot her life was made into a movie whoops) but I definitely will! ☺️
Awesome post Cait!
Thanks so much, Carol!
Great post! I have a chronic illness that affects basically every part of my life. I also have lifetime social anxiety, and I went thru a period of worse anxiety + depression + self harm/suicidial urges last year. I’m doing much better now but some books with those themes still bother me. As far as my chronic illness, I haven’t really read many books with chronic illnesses featured?? I did read Everything Everything which bothered me HUGELY. I found it very ableist and didn’t see the movie with my friends because it would’ve bothered me too.
Thanks so much for this amazing comment, Hailey! I totally know how you feel with the social anxiety/depression. I also HATED Everything Everything and it disappoints me how much it’s promoted and loved when it’s…it’s really wrong that whole “if you’re not living a wild life outside, you’re not living!”…like no. I wish that would stop. I find things like that really triggering for depression. Like it makes me wonder: is this how the whole world sees us?? Disabilities do not equate to brokenness. *sighs*
I had no idea that Autistic writers had to go through this. I also never knew people would be put off by books with autistic characters? I mean if the books sounds good, I’d go get it… regardless of whether I relate to the characters or not. I need to feel more of a general connection rather than relate to the characters. For example, I can relate to Cath from Fangirl but what she did in her creative writing class made me want to fight her *cough*
Because I only know about two autistic people in real life (though I’m not personally close to them), I can’t really tell if someone is autistic or not? Unless I have a lot of clues. But sometimes I notice that certain characters act slightly differently if that makes sense?
I don’t think my life experiences really affect my reading because my diabetes is more diet related but I’m trying to write a diabetic character because it’s almost as if I forget to write about them which is sad because many people are so uninformed about diabetes (including my mum) and think it’s because you eat too much sugar and that you can’t eat chocolate and stuff. Realistically, we can eat about anything but we can’t eat it anytime we’d like to. We are mostly advised to eat sugary stuff when we have low blood sugar and if we have normal blood sugars, we should eat a smaller amount unless we take extra insulin to counteract the sugar/carbs.
I’m glad you’re just keen on a book and that’s it! THAT’S THE WAY TO BE. (And on that note: I honestly wish there were more autistic characters in stories where it isn’t JUST about their autism. It’d be nice?!)
A lot of autistic people know how to just “blend” in. I mean, if you met me you’d probably not know I was autistic either.😂 Except for the fact you wouldn’t met me because I’m too anxious to socialise with strangers haha. But I do know what you mean!
I totally think diabetes is under-represented in books! I’ve read like ONE book with it. And that seems a bit ridiculous right? So glad you’re writing to fill that hole!
I want to put this post literally everywhere I can because I LOVE EVERY WORD OF IT.
I only got diagnosed with ASD in January of this year but I can already see how it affects me both online and off. I’m not good at socialising offline (I never answer the phone or the door, I can’t talk to strangers), but I’m not good at it online either 😅 I used to have to work up a LOT of courage to comment on other people’s posts but I still can’t really start a conversation on Twitter.
When I’m writing characters I don’t really think about whether I’m making them NT or not, which is something I should think about because it’s important to have neurodiversity. I also can’t write more than one thing at a time because my thinking gets way too muddled and I end up confused.
When I’m reading I can only read one book at a time and I always plan out how many chapters I’m going to read in a day. Or pages if a book doesn’t have numbered chapters, which is probably the bane of my existence 🙃
THANKS, LOUSIE. ALSO YOU ARE FABULOUS AND AMAZING JUST SO YOU KNOW. And also I am 500% honoured that you comment on my blog because it means SO MUCH. I also totally understand about the socialising. People online get super surprised when they hear I’m a socially anxious hermit.😂 I find it really easy to just chat to anyone online! (No eye contact for one haha.) And there are super helpful emojis so we all know what each other is thinking. :’)
I don’t think we have to stress ourselves out making sure our characters are “NT” enough though, right? I mean, obviously I’ve been autistic all my life but didn’t know until a few years ago. All my books will always be viewed through my ASD lens but I don’t think that’s necessarily in a bad way?? I want to write different kinds of characters (and I do!) but I write what feels good. And I try to remember to make my characters hold hands occasionally.😂
Awesome post, Cait! You are very brave to do this—and I think it’s great. 🙂
I would love to have more books with autistic characters. I have two siblings on the spectrum, so it’s very personal to me. I would like to write more diverse characters, but I’m afraid of not being able to write them accurately. This is kinda rambling, so I hope you get what I’m trying to say. 🙂
THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING, ALLISON!! I really appreciate it. <3 And that's so awesome you have siblings on the spectrum! I have 3 nephews/niece on the spectrum too and they're all quite young, but I kind of hope that by the time they're teenagers, YA will have more books with good rep for them to read. (And you're not rambling! I loved your comment.)
Ooh, this was so great to read!!! I really appreciate when any minority can open up to others about their personal experiences in a way that we can all learn from it. It can’t always be easy, but it’s nice to read and helps bring new layers of understanding to the table. Thank you both!
I’m not on the spectrum, but I totally get relating more to introverts over protagonists who constantly surround themselves with people and never spend any alone time. I know some people like that, but how. I also appreciate it when introverts are depicted as people with friends! Because we do like people! Just in smaller doses.
As far as diverse representation goes, I’d love it if I could see more healthy and loving and real lesbian relationships in YA, because where are they??? I can literally count on one hand the number books I’ve read with romantic relationships involving two women. TV isn’t much better, either.
I’m so glad you enjoyed reading it, Kate!! It’s really important to like just TALK about these things right?! we learn best from listening, I think. I’ve learned so so much about different minorities just from listening to real people talk about their lives. IT’S GREAT. I LOVE HOW DIFFERENT ALL HUMANS ARE.
Extroverts are magical and weird.😂How do they even.
Definitely agreed about f/f in media and books. It’s a real shame and I think partially the reason we see more m/m is because of sexism a bit too??
I love this so much. For some reason as a kid/teen/adult I’ve always been fascinated by autism and that people’s brains can work so differently. And honestly, being an introvert with severe anxiety/social phobia can make me relate far more to an autistic MC than an extrovert.
I think my biggest struggle in writing has to do with the aforementioned anxiety/social phobia. I just don’t have the experience most of my characters have. Not even with relationships. I’ve only seriously dated one guy many years ago and I write romance. 😂 So I rely on others input to determine if I’ve got the relationship written well. (Shoutout to my mom who said the make MC in my last draft was “sexless”. Thanks. 😂)
Thanks to both of you for sharing your experiences and making me feel a little less alone in struggling to write things I don’t totally understand.
Yes exactly! There’s TONS of crossovers and ways to relate if you have an anxiety disorder towards being on the autism spectrum.😂 SO many crossover symptoms. *nods* And haha, I read about extroverts and it’s exhausting and also magical. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SOCIALISE SO MUCH.😂
And hey! I’m the same with writing. I’ve never been in a relationship (and I’m not bothered by that😂) so I get all my “experience” from reading other books and I think that’s ok though?? Like we don’t have to feel limited by our own experiences. We’re bringing another perspective and viewpoint to writing and that’s GOOD.
I’m so glad I’m not alone! 😂 Luckily with most romantic stories people are looking more for fantasy than realism, which is overrated IMO.
This is an excellent post! Thanks for sharing your stories and experiences as writers/readers. I have a family member with autism, and I haven’t come across many books with really good autism rep. We need more autism books!
We do so so need more rep! And yay that you have an autistic in your life. I think we’re pretty awesome.😂
I have a lot of physical problems. I was born with vacterl association which in a nutshell is just a bunch of medical issues all over the place. I am physically disabled, always have been always will be. vacterl is rare though (not to mention complex) so it’s highly unlikely I will ever read about a character with it. But I find myself able to relate to little things here and there with other disabled characters, which still makes me so happy. I also have anxiety, depression and ptsd that I struggle with. And those are much easier compared to vacterl to find in books. I honestly find myself relating to a lot of different characters in one way or another. I am also an introvert. Not sure how I can make booktube videos honestly (and I have struggled with that sometimes and taken long breaks) but I guess it’s because i’m talking to a camera, not a person so I find it easier. However I can’t talk on the phone to save my life generally and talking is much harder than writing for me. I do my best but writing comes easier for me.
Also I loved Queens of Geek and related to Taylor so much! Honestly I wouldn’t have known had it not been said that she’s autistic because she just seemed like me a tee. That seems to happen with me and autistic characters, despite the fact I don’t think i’m autistic. But reading about it and characters with it, who I relate to so strongly, has me questioning it to be honest. But i’m worried, because i’m so limited physically with what I can do I don’t want to add yet another limit to myself. And i’m probably thinking about it all wrong and i’m sorry. I’m also 28 but i’ve heard of women even older than me just now getting diagnosed with being on the autistic spectrum. Whether I am or not though I do love being able to relate to the characters and understand them. I tend to relate to them a lot easier than I do NT characters.
I’m also bisexual though and love finding other queer characters in any form, whether it’s a bisexual character or in another way. The only way i’m like the average white-straight-able-bodied-NT character is i’m white, which I do realize I have white privilege.
I’m very sorry if anything I said is wrong. This is a wonderful post!
I also wanted to mention that I don’t actually have to relate to a character at all to enjoy their story. If it’s a well-written book or character it can still be very enjoyable to read. 🙂
I relate to a lot of this too, Stephanie! (Although I do hope one day you’ll get to see yourself fully represented in a book?! That’s really encouraging and special when that happens.) I have a LOT of anxiety issues. Like…phone? Haha. Nope. Writing is like LIFE because I can fully express myself when I can’t really do the same with spoken words.
TAYLOR IS AMAZING and her anxiety is so well done!
Autism and labels aren’t and don’t ever have to be “limits” though. Oftentimes they’re a way of understanding yourself and then knowing how to cope and make your life better and easier. I actually feel like finally being diagnosed didn’t put me in a “box”, as is the common stereotyped way of thinking. It gave me a ton of resources to figure out ME and actually not feel so bad about things I struggle with. If you want to know more about ASD I definitely recommend googling things about “autism and women”. And there’s this amazing book called Nerdy Shy and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim. It’s a sort of autobiography and SO SO GOOD. I like related to literally every page and it really helped me figure things out. It might be helpful to read for you?
Thank you so much! I definitely plan on checking that book out soon! I think I definitely need to look into it more. Thank you for the comment and the recommendation.
I loved Taylor so much and related so much to her anxiety! Queens of Geek is definitely going to be a favorite book of mine that i’ve read this year, that will stay close to my heart.
A lot of my characters end up mentally ill and/or queer because….same. I even find myself writing them that way without meaning to because really, straight people with “normal” brains? Sounds fake but okay.
I actually have an autistic character that I’m really nervous about writing because I don’t want to do it wrong or misrepresent or hurt people in any way through my character. What would you say are some things to do/not do when writing an autistic character?
I know right?! I FEEL YA. It’s great. 😂 Like how do we even write these normal people…😂
I could actually write a whole post on how to write an autistic character at some point? If you think it might be useful? My biggest advice is to definitely get someone on the spectrum to read it at some point for feedback. And also tons of the stereotypes are true but not ALL of them and not ALL together. Like for me personally, I’m the stereotype of I hate touching people/strange things but I also love sarcasm, which is something that most people don’t think autistics understand. So that’s just like a little example!
Its really interesting that you say here that most people don’t think autistics understand sarcasm. I know a couple of people on the spectrum, but only know one well, and he’s one of the most sarcastic people I know, he also seems to understand my sarcasm well enough. I also see characters like Sherlock (in the tv series, in my own opinion of limited knowledge, he seems to have a lot of autistic traits. what’s your opinion on that?) who are very sarcastic. Basically, I just equate autism=sarcasm. I was really surprised to learn a few months ago that sarcasm isn’t actually a very autistic thing. I don’t know if I’m making any sense here, I just wanted to comment on that fact.
No you’re making sense! It’s a HUGE stereotype that autistics don’t understand sarcasm. We often take things very literally, so it stems from that. Like once my mum told me if I cut my hair I’d never grow it back. Meaning I’d never *choose* to grow it back, but I thought she meant my hair would never grow after cutting.😂 so things like that. But as for sarcasm? Omg I’m so sarcastic. 😂 And my 6yo nephew is also hugely sarcastic and autistic so.😂
(And I DO think Sherlock in most of his representations on TV shows and movies is autistic! I always am disappointed that they never talk about the sensory issues though. But otherwise…I reckon he is.)
Cait, I’m so proud of you!! This is a fantastic post, and you guys are awesome for sharing your stories.
The whole idea that most people can’t relate to autistic characters is complete BS. I mean, one of the reasons we read is to experience new things and learn how to relate to them. If you can relate to NT characters (for example, ones that I also relate to because they’re bookish and introverted), why shouldn’t it work the other way around?
AHH THANKS, MARAIA. YOU LOVELY HUMAN.💕 And absolutely! I mean, I think people “decide” that they’re not going to relate a lot and don’t give books a chance?? And like some of my most FAVOURITE characters of ever aren’t anyway autistic, so it can work vice versa for sure. (Although I lowkey love August Flynn for his sensory issues because he has a lot of ASD traits.❤️)
I loved the comments from you both! It was very eye opening to see that you both worry that NT readers won’t relate to the characters. I hope that doesn’t dissuade you guys from writing the characters that you want to and that you relate to. For me, when a character seems real, no matter how different they are from me, I find myself able to relate. Literature is one of the ways we build empathy for people who are different then us, so we can always use more diverse characters. <3
(Side note: Are you going to review Turtles All the Way Down? I here the MC has anxiety and that it is very good and I cannot wait to get my hands on it and read your review.)
THANKS, KATIE. YOU’RE AMAZING. And it definitely doesn’t dissuade me! I mean, I have like 23 books without autistic characters and no one’s hated them yet.😂 (I mean, of like my few betas or whatnot.) So I think it’s just a matter of thinking, working hard, and research! Like for any part of writing, eh?! And so much agreement for how you said literature builds empathy. YES. For all types of people.
I *think* I’ll be reviewing Turtles?! My copy is like taking 78 light years to arrive. Excuse me…no…it’s raining on my face I’M NOT CRYING. 😫😫 But I’ll definitely review it on GR anyway. Just hopefully I’ll have space to put it onto the blog because jOHN GREEN THO.
I loved reading your Q&A! I may not be autistic but I enjoy reading books with good rep because I love seeing how so different and yet so similar we are.
I’m also part of a minority (I’m asexual) so I completely get how annoying and horrible misrepresentation can be.
Have an awesome day ❤️
Yes exactly, right?! It’s great to read about experiences outside our own. I LOVE IT. I probably read 50 books without autism to 1 book with, and I don’t mind, because I love seeing how different people’s minds work. (And speaking of asexual rep…it pains me greatly how few books there are for that? I’ve read like TWO and that’s terrible. WE DESERVE MORE AND BETTER.)
This is a wonderful, eye-opening post, Cait! I have never stopped to consider what it would be like to read or write as someone with autism. I have not specifically searched for books with this kind of representation, but I will have to look for some. Recommendations? But reading about all different kinds of minorities in various books has really taught me a lot about life and the world and that there is so much more than the “majority”. Thank you for bringing light to this subject!! 😀
Yay so glad you enjoyed it, JoBeth! So I did list a few recommendations at the top of the post (in the “smol FAQ” section) so all those are total must-reads!!
Thank you, Cait, for your participation, and your sharing. Though it was my idea (see, aren’t I brilliant — no, really, I’m just being cheeky).
And thank you all so much for your support and your sharing. I know Cait was having a bit of a crisis over releasing this post, so I know it means a lot to her.
YOU ARE BRILLIANT. I’m so glad you said we should do this!! 😂😂 (Also kicking myself that I didn’t put your book cover up here?! I should go back and edit the post thb.)
Not absolutely necessary. But if you want, go right ahead. 😀 (Oh, my short story collection was just released, too, but that’s a nonsequitor at the moment.) 😛
This is a great post, thanks so much for sharing your perspective. I never realized how hard it could be to relate to NT characters and write NT characters.
I’ve never been diagnosed, but I’ve read a lot about different anxiety disorders and googled a bunch of things (of course) and I think that I have minor social anxiety that can increase or decrease in certain situations. Like, last year at school I was the most anxious person ever and my anxiety was really bad, but I came back to school this summer and my anxiety levels are significantly lower so…that’s good.
One thing I struggle with in books is Jewish representation. I have found almost no Jewish characters in the books that don’t take place during WWII/the Holacaust, where their Jewishness is mentioned in one sentence, and never talked about again, because they don’t practice, or where it’s just the MC’s Jewish friend. The few books I have found with good Jewish rep have mainly been from my synagogue library, Jewish book organizations(who send out mainly MG and picture books to Jewish kids) and some MG books.
Wow that was a long comment, but that’s the main under representation that relates to me and my life.
***I went back to school AFTER this summer, not this summer
Anxiety is really really common to have, so I hear you. 😭😭 I think I read somewhere that 1 in 4 people have mild-to-sever anxiety conditions at times in life?? A lot of my anxiety stems from being on the spectrum, but I have really bad social anxiety (hence why I love blogging!) so I hear you!!
I actually saw someone talking about not much Jewish rep in book son twitter so I started looking out for it and…sadly, there is very little.😭 Outside of like WWII and stuff. I know Simon Vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda has a Jewish protagonist but not like practising? And also Autoboyography by Christina Lauren does, but again, not practising. Clearly we need more here!!
Wow Cait! This post was SO brave of you! As a person who is very interested in learning as much as I can about disabilities ( I would love to be a Special Education Teacher when I grow up,) it was so nice to see you talking about these things. I am very sorry that some people decide to write about things that need research and not all things are summed up by one person. Thank you so much for sharing!
Emmy
Thanks so much for reading, Emmy! YOU ARE LOVELY. And it’s really good to like talk about things openly and make it a discussion for chatting and listening right?! I’m excited to be talking about it. And YES, we need books that give good rep. I think they’re getting there, but with everything…there’s still a ways to go.😂
Bless this post! As someone who isn’t autistic I found this incredibly eye-opening, but it also felt strangely familiar. I personally struggle with severe anxiety, but my anxiety isn’t tied to social interactions and that’s where most anxiety rep finds its home so I find it hard to see myself in those narratives sometimes.
Also, reading this inspired me to work even harder to include accurate representation in my writing, so thanks for that! Keep up the good work!
Anxiety is a HUGE thing for a lot of autistic people…me particularly. SO I RELATE A LOT TO YOU. *hi fives* I really ought to do a post about books I’ve read with good anxiety rep, because it can be done sooo badly. But when it’s good, it’s like FRESH AIR, THANK YOU AUTHORS.😂
Cait,
Thanks for writing this post and for both of you being really personal (and therefore kind of vulnerable too- and on the internet-ah!) One of my favorite things is learning the perspective of other people and what every day is like. I think that’s why I penpal. As a teacher, I’m intrigued with some of my autistic students. I find that many of them are incredible artists and/or musicians. I have had a few kids over my career with perfect pitch, who were also autistic. A few of the kids have talked to me about struggling to emotionally connect with the music. What you wrote about quiet is also interesting. Like you, some of my students get hyper focused while working on music but if it’s something that multiple groups are working in the same room and everybody can hear one another, it sometimes drives my kids CRAZY. Thanks for your perspectives!
I WAS REALLY NERVOUS, JEN.😂😂 Haha! So it’s really great that everyone’s leaving such great comments!
And yes! It’s amazing how varied the spectrum is. It’s really really common for us to have like a “special thing” that we can get lost in. For me it’s writing, but I was a self-taught musician in my childhood too. I’m super jealous of all the genius ASD kids but that’s definitely not me haha.😂
I’m glad you enjoyed reading it!
Thanks for writing this post. As usual I enjoyed reading it. I’ve watch a film called Adam about a man with Asphergers and loved it. And read The Incident with the dog in the nighttime (hope I remembered that right) obviously don’t know how accurate they are but I learnt a lot about Autism from those. I think it’s important that people know about autism and about all the things that make people different. Understanding means no ignorance and people who are not affected by autism or anything saying or doing the wrong thing-or thinking the wrong thing- towards those who are affected by it. That’s one thing I am concerned about is saying the wrong thing. I can relate to anxiety.
Ooh I’m interested in the film called Adam! I’ll have to look it up. And I read Curious Incident of the Dog In the Nighttime (that’s such an exhausting title 😂) absolutely YEARs ago. I loved it then, but I didn’t know much about autism, so I want to reread and focus on the details?? (I gave it 5stars at the time though. It was special to me.)
And exactly! It’s nice to bring awareness and just make it an easy open discussion. Not something we all have to tiptoe around or be scared to talk/ask questions about. It’s easy to say the wrong thing when you have no idea. And honestly *I* mess up and I’m on the spectrum.😂 So I think it’s great when we can all like talk and listen to each other.
Adam is a lovely film Hugh Dancy plays Adam. It’s a bit of a love story but it’s mainly about Adam. He loses his job and if I remember right his father dies. You have to watch it.
I just checked out the trailer and it looks interesting!
Thank you so, so much, Cait, and Daley just as well, for writing this amazing post and letting us know a bit more about what it’s like for both of you. I will admit that I’m not too familiar with the autistic spectrum, as there aren’t any people in my close surroundings diagnosed this way. I’m so glad I could learn a bit more about it thanks to both of you! 🙂 One book I have read with autistic representation is Queens of Geek and I found it excellent – rep in books definitely is lacking. I need to add both Kids Like Us, and Things I Should Have Known on my TBR 🙂
Thank you for sharing this beautiful post! 🙂
I’m SO glad you liked it, Marie!! THANKS FOR COMMENTING. 💕 I definitely think autism isn’t something that’s really talked about a lot? Especially for girls. So it’s nice to be able to chat (AND EVERYONE HERE IS SO LOVELY I JUST CAN’T EVEN) Also omg Queens of Geek was AMAZING and also #ownvoices. We need more books like that!!
I think you’re both so strong and brave to write a post like this.
People can be really ignorant about disabilities. You two are so needed in the writing world, to shine a positive light on autism.
Thanks for reading, Skye! YOU’RE VERY LOVELY. And the ignorance is really everywhere, which is sad, but at the same time…I do understand. If no one’s talking about it, how do we learn, right?!
I love this post. I am bipolar so I think that shares some traits with the autism spectrum. I am an extreme introvert and I get anxious like A LOT and all of that. And yes, reading about suicide or people with mental illness portrayed badly is a huge trigger for me.
Yes! There’s definitely a few like “crossover” symptoms with bipolar and autism (actually, years back, most women with autism used to be diagnosed with bipolar instead because people didn’t think girls could be on the spectrum). The extreme anxiety is super hard. 😭 And honestly reading about us represented badly is often like being told we’re a “novelty” or something…and it’s really upsetting. I will NEVER forgive a book that uses suicide as a “shock” factor. It’s so wrong.
Thanks for sharing you two!!!! I loved this post!!!!!
Thanks so much for reading, Lisa!!
This was such an interested article/interview and definitely a topic that needs to be tackled/spoken of more. So thanks for this one, ladies! Incredibly thought provoking plus it’s always nice to learn more about people. I find there just aren’t enough books out there to represent autistic characters and it’s really unfortunate that people, when picking up the ones that *are* out there, feel they didn’t enjoy it because they “couldn’t relate.” That makes me sad. Or, maybe, more like frustrated.
I’m really pleased you enjoyed the post, Jessica! THANKS FOR READING! And honestly it’s super frustrating that readers will like put up “mental roadblocks” against minorities they aren’t a part of. Of course people might not relate! But I think it’s important to try, you know? And like I relate to a sheer ton of non-autistic characters, so this can go both ways.😂
I always double down on judgment (which may not be the best move on my part but I find it tedious and annoying when someone says that) and I’m just like… yes, well, you sure can’t relate to being a magical being in a fantasy world but you sure do love those types of books–you know what I mean? It’s like… ehhhhhhh. Just plain frustrating. But agreed! It’s important to try.
I know right?!? I don’t relate to living in medieval England BUT I CAN ENJOY IT SO MUCH STILL!?/😂
Ohh this was awesome!! Thank you both for having the courage to be so open and start this dialogue! Personally, I don’t really have anyone around me dealing with autism so I found this super interesting! And I’m just now realizing that I’ve never really read any books with autism either. Now I want to!! I saw other comments asking the same question, so I’m sorry if you end up answering this 5 BILLION TIMES. But if you have any favorite recommendations I would love to hear them! I saw several people recommend Queen of Geeks (ummmmm as a fellow geek, I’m ALREADY in love with that title) so I’m putting it in my tbr 😄
I’m an only child who spent most of my early years moving around for my dad’s job. Only child + moving every year = EXTREME INTROVERTNESS! I’ve also dealt with depression before, so I can definitely relate in that respect. No new humans around me THANKS. I read about extroverted characters like I would read about someone with superpowers. Like, gosh, what it must be like to be at a crowded party and not wanna scratch my way out like a cat. 😝 I love reading books about fellow introverts because it reminds me that at least we have each other! Well, at a safe distance. Actually let’s all stay home and text each other instead 😂
I’m really glad you liked it and found it interesting! One of the big reasons I wanted to talk about it is because I think like lots of people “know” about autism, but we don’t really discuss it?! And I think it’s important to discuss it (especially with it being like 1 in 70 people are on the spectrum.)
And YES! I’m happy to give good recs. 😂😂 I did list a few at the top of the post in the “smol FAQ” section. So totally recommend all of those. And definitely YES to Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde. It’s also by an autistic author too! And super nerdy and cute.😂
Haha I totally get that with the extroverts and their superpowers. How do they even?! Don’t they get so exhausted??? I would be happy to socialise like…once ever 14 years? Seems reasonable.😂 INTROVERTS ARE THE BEST THOUGH.
I am the mother of two amazing autistic young men — and it’s highly likely I’m on the spectrum though I’ll probably never be diagnosed. I find that anything written by autistics is much easier for me to enjoy. My youngest’s writing is just a blast to read… He’s always working on one blog or another (he just started http://sevenedged.wordpress.com to store bits of a story he’s working on), and I love that I get to be one of the first to read his stuff. I write web content as an SEO Specialist/Copywriter “for a living” (which means very part time since I really don’t have much time for work in between their doc appts. and the hospice work I volunteer for — thankfully my hubby has a good paying job)… And then I have a new blog that’s just getting off it’s feet. I tend to write about my thoughts and experiences… And people tend to describe it with phrases like “thought provoking” or “fresh perspective” — even though I’m just writing about everyday things… So I think the unique way I see the world comes through more than I realize. (New blog is at http://neuropoeticnotes.worpress.com.) I’ve found that it hasn’t been easy to write in this new space though because I was at a different blog for about a decade where I shared my thoughts about my life and my sons growing up… I ended up having a bad experience that forced me to make my blog private and basically shut it down. Months later I found myself really missing the richness blogging brought to my life and thought process – so I started a new blog… Not many people know about it, so I feel safe there for now… And I love having a place where I can just express myself and share how I see the world… But I think I’m more aware than ever that my perspective is different than everyone else’s.
That’s really awesome you have a family full of ASD-ers!! *hi fives* It runs in my family too and it’s not always easy, of course, but I think it’s quite cool.
I’m sad about your bad blogging experience though. That’s super hard, but I’m glad you’re back and people love seeing your perspective!! And honestly blogging is a hugely great way to just express yourself and write and share things. I’m super pleased you’re enjoying being back!
Hi Cait! I don’t officially follow your blog, but I often stop by to read your latest posts. This is the first time I’m commenting, but I really liked this post. I don’t struggle with autism, but I do struggle with medically diagnosed severe anxiety, ADD, and sensory disorders. I’ve had severe anxiety ever since I was little, so over the years I’ve learned how to handle certain situations better (aka MY MOTHER BECAUSE SHE’S THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN KEEP ME FROM HAVING A FULL OUT PANIC ATTACK.).
I appreciate you talking about this because not a lot of bloggers talk about disorders and mental illnesses. I do have one question: when you said that autism is a disorder and NOT a mental illness, are you basing this on your opinion or have you researched it? I promise I’m not judging you or questioning what you say, I’m genuinely just curious because I’m not very familiar with the autism spectrum.
Oh hi!! Thanks so much for commenting! It’s super nice to *meet* you. And I totally totally relate to the anxiety/sensory issues, SO I HEAR YOU SO MUCH.
Autism is not a mental illness because there’s nothing “sick” about the person. Autism is the way your brain functions and without it, you’re not you. It’s not an opinion, it is a truth, and if people say differently…unfortunately they’re very wrong!
*virtual hugs* it’s nice to “meet” you too!
That makes sense. I guess the where I get confused is that anxiety sounds an awful lot like a disorder based on that description. It’s not something we ask for or want, it’s a chemical imbalance in our brains that causes us to react poorly to certain stimula. Of course, there are things we can to help that: medication, counseling, calming mothers, etc. I guess it really can be difficult to find the difference between a disorder and a mental illness. Thanks for giving me some food for thought, Cait!
You guys both get so many awesome points! Being autistic myself, this was a delight to read.
THANKS SO MUCH LUKE. 🎉🎉 And it’s always awesome to meet more ASD bloggers! *hi fives*
Indeed! *High five.*
If I’m being honest, I would be hesitant about picking up a book about a non-autistic character written by an autistic author (unless I knew they’d done their research). I’ve read books like this unknowingly in the past, and ended up being so frustrated because the supposedly non-autistic character was doing things that people on the spectrum would do, and yet it wasn’t addressed at all (this probably comes from the author being on the spectrum and not realizing that they weren’t seeing things through the non-autistic lens; theory of mind, and all that). On the other hand, if I knew going in that the character was supposed to be autistic, then I would be more likely pick up the book if the story appealed to me (especially if it was written in a first-person point of view; it’s interesting to get into characters’ heads when their experience of the world is so different from your own).
As a non-autistic reader, it’s an odd experience to read a non-autistic character written by an autistic author; you can’t quite put your finger on what the problem is, but you just know something is off. It’s good that you’re becoming aware of this, so you hopefully won’t have the same problem.
Actually I have read the most BRILLIANT autism reps by non-autistic authors. My #1 is Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare. It was the first time I really felt like I 100% connected to a character…and she’s not autistic! So it’s a mixed thing?! It varies so so much. I haven’t read a lot of books BY autistic authors (apart from Daley’s which is fab and definite recommend) but Queen of Geeks by Jen Wilde was so that was great. <3
So just be careful about how you worded that last paragraph! I know you didn't mean anything mean by it, but it does come across pretty harsh to say ASD authors write NT characters a little "off". That's not been my experience at all and I'm sure not for tons of ASD authors. 🙂
I wasn’t sure about that word, either, but I didn’t know how else to phrase it. I just mean to say that, reading as a person without autism, it’s sometimes easy to spot when someone with autism is trying to write someone without it. It’s like when you, as someone with autism, can tell when an autistic character isn’t represented accurately; as someone without autism, I can tell when a non-autistic character’s representation isn’t quite accurate. That’s all I meant.
Have you read Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis? I believe she’s on the spectrum (I didn’t find that out until after I read the book). I wasn’t crazy about that one, but it was more of a world-building/plot thing for me; you might enjoy it.
I’m a muslim and I’ve never seen good representation, or any representation of real muslims, in YA books though recently there are new muslim writers WHIGH ROCKS. I LOVE SAINTS AND MISFITS BY S.K. ALI. That is why I’m writing my first book with a female muslim protagonist and I’m super excited but also super nervous because I don’t know how to show a muslim in a way that is how they are without being weird. I mean, my muslim character wears hijab, which is lit because I do too, but she also kicks butt and can fight well, and in my NaNoWriMo book, her love interest is non-muslim, which I don’t even know how to write their romance because for muslims, there can’t be anything before marriage, but I know she’ll pray in the book and I absolutely love her.
I have Saints and Misfits on my TBR and I’M SO EXCITED FOR IT. I’m so glad you liked it!! I actually just finished reading Bang by Barry Lyga and it has a Muslim character (who wears a hijab the whole time too) and it was such a good book. But also a white/male author so like I’m keen to read books ABOUT Muslims and BY Muslims. I think that’s way more important.
I think your book sounds AMAZING btw! And so needed!
I’ll try to check out Bang, I need to see how other authors represent Muslims as well.
Awwwww! Thank you so much!!
Btw, I live in the US but I’m definitely waiting for your books. I’m so excited to read them because I love the little excerpts you release once in a while.
YOU’RE SUPER NICE THANK YOUUUUU!!! <3 (And I'd be keen to know what you think of the rep in Bang!)
Oh my word, I absolutely ADORED this post!!!! You both are absolutely AMAZING and deserve ALL OF THE COOKIES!!! <3 <3 <3
This post was honestly a real eye-opener for me. I'm severely lame in the fact that I don't really belong in any minorities, but I'm doing my best to learn about different races and cultures and disabilities and mental illnesses, ect. so that I can portray them correctly in my stories. Sometimes I worry that I'm doing it WRONG, though, and then I get really stressed out that I'm going to be severely offensive, which then leads to me not wanting to even TRY to write whatever it is I'm trying to write. (writing is SOO much fun, hahahahaha…ha… *distant sobbing*)
Also–on a side note–physical contact makes me nervous. . . It's just WEIRD. Like NO. GET AWAY FROM ME, PEASANT. XD
Anyway, this was an absolutely amazing post, Cait and Daley!!!! Thank you both SO much for this!!!!
THANK YOU KENZIE. *sprinkles cookie crumbs in your hair*
But seriously belonging to a minority doesn’t make you “cooler” or anything. That’s kind of turning minorities into being a trend or superpower, so careful with thinking like that! And honestly *I* worry about writing minorities wrong and I belong to several. So it’s definitely about learning and researching and SO SO MUCH LISTENING. I wrote my first book with an autistic character this year and found it was super hard.😂
(Ack but like touching people is so weird?! WHY DOES ANYONE LIKE IT.😂)
First off…I’m cheering you on from my side of the internet because I know how freaking terrifying doing posts like this are. The internet can be mean sometimes.
And I’m gay and somewhere on the asexual spectrum, so I totally get about writing and reading stuff differently because you’re part a minority. I write literally everything with at least three queer characters, because I desperately, desperately needed books about queer girls when I was younger. I used to make up crushes on boys because I only ever heard about gay men and didn’t think it was possible for me to be gay. But sometimes I do worry that writing queer characters will make it harder to get published later, especially since my MCs are mostly girls, and you find way more books about mlm than wlw.
Also, on the reading side, I will read every single book with a f/f romance that I can get my hands on, but I also go in hopefully but nervious, because stereotypes abound. (Did you see me go off on It’s Not Like It’s A Secret recently? Yeah…)
And I’m sure it’s the same for you. That feeling of “this book may be amazing and written for me, or it might be extremely stereotypical and written so a neurotypical author can claim they’re writing diversely” when you start.
THANK YOU AINE. <3 And I'm cheering for you because I love all your tweets, especially when you're recommending and talking about queer rep and discussions. IT'S GOOD. WE NEED ALL THE DISCUSSIONS. And I do understand that fear of the f/f being harder to find than m/m. It's not good or fair and I honestly think a big reason for that is rooted in sexism too?? I didn't see you talking about It's Not Like It's A Secret yet.😱 Was it on twitter? Or goodreads?
And I HATE that feeling when you read a book and you're so excited for it...and then at the end it feels like the author is writing "for the cookies" or something, you know? Like pls, authors, don't represent a minority you don't know or understand. I guess often they don't KNOW that they don't understand, but this is why sensitivity readers exist. 😭😭
I think it is rooted in sexism, yes, but I also think a lot of it has to do because for so long all you saw where cis gay men. And there’s also the group of straight women who fetishize gay men. It’s not talked about as much as how straight men fetishize gay women, but it still happens. I think there are a lot of reasons.
And as for It’s Not Like It’s A Secret, I think I went off on it on Tumblr, but there’s a Goodreads review, too. It has a super problematic element to it, and just…no. And I haven’t seen other people call out this element either. I think it was one of those books that was written about queer people for straight people/for diversity points.
And I agree. If you know nothing, ask, and don’t get mad when someone points out the problems.
Wow this was cool to read. I have an anxiety disorder, and I don’t think I’ve read any mental illness books yet, but I know I’ve added a lot to my TBR.
I think the only book I’ve read with an autistic character is Mockingbird by Kathryn Erskine. It’s a middle grade contemporary about a girl with asperger’s who’s older brother is killed in a school shooting and how she learns to understand grief and I can’t say how well asperger’s is represented since I don’t have it, but I’ve read reviews from others who says it was done really well. I really liked it. If you haven’t read it you should check it out it’s really short like 224 pages. 😁
I’m writing a book with mental illness where the main character is very closely based on me, and I think about it literally 24/7 for about five years now, but I haven’t done much with it because I’m having a hard time coming up with an actual progressive plot because it’s just about life really. And also I’m kind of afraid to write it because when I finish it and if I get it published someday it’ll be like I have to let go of it and share it with people and that’ll be really hard because I’ve grown to love my characters so much and it’s really personal.
I can recommend you some REALLY good books with anxiety disorders in them! If you want at any point? (I relate with a pretty intense social anxiety disorder myself.🙈)
I have actually read Mockingbird and unfortunately it’s not a good representation. It promotes the stigma that autistic people don’t have emotions/empathy which is SO WRONG and it breaks my heart a lot because the author apparently has an autistic daughter. And if that’s how she thinks of her own kid?? It’s super sad.
And I totally get how hard it is to write about things that are personal to you!! I wrote my first book with an autistic character this year AND IT WAS HARD?!? 😂 And I 500% relate to the feeling of really really personal attachment. Like when you put a lot of YOU into a book, it makes it so hard to take criticism right?!
Ahhh Cait!! It’s so brave of you to write a post like this. I loved it. Unfortunately, I barely ever read books with characters on the autism spectrum in them, and I’m afraid to pick one up in case the representation is AWFUL and so so offensive. Are there any books you recommend? <3
*you and Daley too!!
Yes I definitely have some recommendations! I listed a few (with links to the reviews) at the top of the post under the “smol FAQ” section. 😉
Thanks! I’ll definitely be picking up Queens if Geek and Things I Should Have Known. I literally forgot all about the “smol FAQ” section because apparently I have the brain of a peanut! Being neurotypical is always something I’ve taken for granted. Hopefully these books will open my eyes to a whole new world of seeing it.
Thanks for sharing this post Cait — this is so extremely brave and it’s really wonderful to get to know more about you 🙂
Aww, thanks Joy!! I’m really glad you liked it. <3
Autistic here. I think the hardest thing that I run into most frequently when reading stories is trying to understand the characters’ motivations. I think “show, don’t tell” is pretty common writing advice; but if the narration just shows me people doing things, without them ever talking about why, and never goes into their heads so I can see their thought processes, then it’s likely that I’ll have a difficult time inferring the subtext of what’s all going on and for what reasons. I’ve noticed that this problem seems more likely to pop up for me with literature written for somewhat mature audiences (like, YA and up), maybe because characters are more likely to be motivated by reasons I can’t easily relate to (like a strong desire for sex or money; as opposed to, say, dark chocolate).
I think that this is just because I have the same problem when trying to understand real, nonfictional people; I’ll often have a pretty good idea of what people are feeling (apparently more acutely than most people), but I won’t usually know exactly why they’re feeling that way unless I’m told. But, even though I often don’t really understand other people’s behaviour, I find it interesting to try to learn what makes them tick and how they see the world; it’s fascinating that we all share the same reality, and yet we can all perceive and react to it so differently.
On a mostly unrelated note, here’s a joke: My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
I RELATE TO THIS A LOT, ISAAC. I actually struggle with this more in movies though, because I feel like in books they often will have an interior monologue explaining their motivations…whereas in movies I’m supposed to understand they’re in love because of that one fleeting glance?? *drowning* But I often start writing a book review and my #1 thing will be: but why were they like that. 😂😂 Ah life is interesting.
I also have to check and confirm my family’s feelings/emotions. I am kind of only see one extreme or the other. So you’re either HAPPY or MAD…I struggle with middle ground so much.
(I am very pleased at your shelf pun there.😂)
This was such an enlightening post.. I really enjoyed getting to know you a bit more..
Thanks so much for reading, Shanu!!
Wow this was so interesting and informative. Thank you so much for writing this post!!!
I’m super glad you liked it, Lara! THANKS FOR READING.
I actually had no idea that you were autistic until you mentioned it briefly in another post, and I’m super excited about this post. Thanks for speaking out about it. I know people who are autistic and it’s something that has always interested me. I’ve also been really eager to write a character with autism, but I keep seeing people saying, ‘don’t write about autism if you’re not autistic’. But for me personally, I write about things, not really because I know about it, but because I WANT to learn about it. Writing is my way of processing the world and learning about it, because otherwise I feel overwhelmed/or forget it. So, I feel I wouldn’t really be able to understand an autistic character unless I wrote about them. I don’t know if that makes sense.
I forgot to say, thanks for posting this! Thanks for speaking up and educating the ignorant little dragons of the world. 😀
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post, Chelsea! THANKS.
Honestly for the “don’t write it unless you live it” I DO NOT agree with that. However, I don’t think you should write about it as your learning curve though? Like I think you should learn and tHEN –> write. If that makes sense? But honestly some of my most favourite books about autistic characters are written by neurotypical authors! So don’t be scared of it.
This is a really great post. Cait! Very educational and informative.
It made me a little sad to read that you worry about writing autistic characters because you think people can’t relate..? Honestly, keep writing even so! People read about superheroes and still love the work! I honestly love the idea of having an entire group of characters be autistic. I mean, we have characters who are all neurotypical…soooo….
I’m really hoping to see more posts like this! Would you consider making a post on books written by autistic authors? Or ones that you feel have a proper representation?
As for me, considering I come from a Filipino and Indian background, I don’t often get to see characters like that. Though there are some books with Indian characters, I feel like we’re often sidelined to typical roles like the tech savy, or the girl who is trying to escape an arranged marriage. Something like that. I haven’t come across with one Filipino main character. The only way I find it affects my character is that none of my characters behave to what is commonly seen in novels. My characters are inspired by my homeland from the things they say to the way they dress, even their preferences. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know, honestly. But I love writing them, infusing each with characteristics and stories of the people I love. It’s a very personal process. I hope this all makes sense. <3 <3
Thanks so much, Cam! I’m really glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
And I totally agree and will definitely just keep writing like I am.😂 I hasn’t been a problem to me so far, so like it’s definitely an anxiety-founded worry haha. Plus as a writer I think we all work hard to write different types of people, right?! So it works.
I actually haven’t read a ton of ASD books by #ownvoices authors, but one I constantly recommend is Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde! She’s autistic and it’s such a good book! But definitely will do a whole rec post at some point.😂
I actually sadly have only read like two Filipino characters before?? It is sad and definitely a hole in literature that needs filling. I think we NEED all types of stories and from all different backgrounds and perspectives, right?! (And PS. I definitely don’t think it’s a bad thing AT ALL to write characters inspired by our own backgrounds. Please keep writing like that!!)
I love that you posted this and the way you did it. It is great to get the perspective of both of you!
So far I’ve read two books with autistic characters. One by a Dutch author and one was On the Edge of Gone by Corinne Duyvis.
Ahh thank you!! It was really fun to write and put together! And I NEED To read Corinne’s books. I own both of them.😂
Okay so, whenever a blogger does a post about their own struggles/not being NT, I just feel warm inside. Because it’s not easy. I did this once and fuck, it was nerve-wracking. So, I just want to say that what you’ve done is amazing. Thank you, the world needs more of such posts.
I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to have autism. I’m shamefully under informed on the matter.
I have depression. I know that it’s not the same thing, but I’m just sharing. Having depression has affected the way I read and right. For instance, I find it really hard to write a scene where my character is celebrating or being generally cheerful in the midst of a depressive episode. So, I go kill of a character. Sometimes, I get stuck on this one thought and the only way to continue writing is to structure my scene around that thought.
As a reader, whenever a character is told that it’s all in their head relating to any mental illness, I practically freak out. I spent years believing that of myself. I sometimes still do. On the flip side, whenever a character receives support from a parent/friend/whatever, it would be the most hopeful thing ever. Also, accurate representation is so rare and precious that I’m incapable of expressing my appreciation for it.
Like, when I first read Will Grayson, Will Grayson years ago, the Will written by David Levithan was diagnosed with depression and it was honestly so important to me to read about a character who at least had a resemblance to my thought patterns. I wasn’t as interesting in reading then as I am now, but this book was like the first time I ever related to something. More recently, I read Definitions of Indefinable Things. Snake is practically my literary counterpart and it made me immensely happy to read the book.
I’m sorry if you find this comment incredibly rambly and/or weird. I just really liked the fact that you chose to talk about your disability, that I felt like the only way to respect that would be to try and do the same.
Thanks SO much Alice!! I find it difficult to talk about personal stuff…particularly when I can’t make a huge joke.😂 But it’s WORTH IT. Because I think we do need to talk about things like this a lot more than we do?? And I’m really glad you liked this post! MY DAY IS MADE.
Also I so so relate to that “it’s just all in your head” thing… I get that a lot too. (I also have depression.) I think our writing is always going to be really affected by our lives and that’s almost such a good thing?! We’re putting our viewpoint out there and it’s different from everyone else’s and the world NEEDS that variety.
Definitions of Definable Things made me CRY with how accurate it was. (At least for me too!!) I was really really depressed when I read it and it was just…it was perfect and amazing and will always be such a close book to my heart. <3
YOUR COMMENT WAS NOT WEIRD. I LOVED IT.
What a great post! It was so nice to learn more about ASD, because I actually don’t know an awful lot on the subject. And to be honest, your work sounds amazing. I’d love to read a book with romance not being the main focus because I feel so uncomfortable while reading about it, but I honestly can’t find a new interesting book that doesn’t have so much romance. I mean I know a lot of books featuring romance are wonderful, but I just personally feel weird reading them unless I skip paragraphs of that sort of info. I’m trying out the raven boys to see how that goes right now because I know you love it, so maybe I will too? But anyways thank you for sharing!
Ps-I’m so looking forward to the day you get published with your wonderfully stabby books.
Thank you so so much, Aarushi!! It’s really great to be able to talk about it! And actually it’s great when books have less romance, right?!😂 I look out for them too haha. I don’t think YA needs as much romance as it does because MOST teens don’t find their one-true-love when they’re 16. Come on!😂 (However I do enjoy reading a goodly written romance so that is nice.)
EEEEEEP YOU’RE READING THE RAVEN BOYS I’M SO SO SO EXCITED.
WOW. WOOOOW. This was such a great and informative post!!! I always love learning about people’s experiences because websites tend to be…cold and straightforward?? It’s good to know the facts but I much more enjoy seeing the HUMAN experience. So thank you for sharing this with us?? You’re brave?? And amazing??? I didn’t know half the things you just shared!!!
I’m so sad that autistic characters are so rare and the representation isn’t the best. (I’m currently reading Lord of Shadows and Ty is one of my absolute favorite characters! Ok the whole book is amazing and fantastic but I’m glad we get more minority representation in popular fantasy books!)
AND OMG I ALSO STRUGGLE WITH TOUCH!! People keep hugging me and touching to comfort me but?? No human pls stay away?? I mostly hate physical contact and I never initiate it unless I know I have to. Like “Oh this human is my friend/family guess I have to hug them now that’s what they do”. Relating to romance in books is also hard because my romantic emotions are the range of a teaspoon.
CAN I JUST READ ALL OF YOUR SASSY BOOKS ALREADY CAIT?? Pleaseeeee???
THANK YOU SO MUCH, IOANA. THIS MAKES MY DAY. And yes! I totally get that! I would much rather read a blog or like an article by a real person than a cold factual website.😂
And YES omg Lady Midnight/Lord of Shadows like was this massively amazing moment for me because Ty is probably the character I’ve most related to in my LIFE. I think that’s why it’s so important to do proper research and represent minorities right!! It makes such a difference. <3 And also proof that you DON'T have to be part of the minority to write it well. As far as I know Cassandra Clare isn't autistic and yet she wrote the best autistic character I've read! (I mean, for me personally.)
UGH TOUCH. Why must people be so touchy. ew. I am glad we are the same. *hi fives you from 48948 light years away so we don't have to touch*
(I HOPE ONE DAY YOU WILL GET TO READ MY BOOKS TOO.😂)
I’m mixed (black parent), bi, and possibly on the spectrum? But I’ve been living in eastern europe for most of my life so my surroundings are just…really white. I barely know any black people other than my mom, and the ones I do know are just my mom’s embassy friends. A lot of my stories included all-white/all-straight casts, and a self-insert character from when I was a kid is white and blonde with straight hair. I started finding articles about how people felt bad about how they could never find a character that looks like themselves in books and I thought, “wait, I’m black, should I be writing black people?” because I really honestly have never felt that way. I’ve never read a book about a white boy and thought, “why can’t he be a black girl?” To me it’s just a story that happens to be about a white boy. I have to make a conscious effort to put people of color into my books and as a minority I feel like there’s something wrong with me for that, even though it’s just a consequence of where I was raised. And I recently had someone confirm that I’m on the spectrum, so now I feel like I have to start writing autistic characters. (My casts are still 99% neurotypical. I think.) But I’m not even 100% sure of what MAKES me autistic, so I’m scared of trying to make it happen, and then everyone hating it for being a “terrible” and “inaccurate” representation. I’m really trying to add diversity in my stories, since I want to have a developed world with all sorts of people, but I feel like as a minority I have some kind of sacred duty to write diverse stories and it puts a heck of a lot of pressure on my shoulders.
Thank you so much for this comment, Kalina, and I REALLY do understand where you’re coming from. This isn’t really at the same level as you, but when I started writing I set all my books in America. I’m Australian. But it didn’t even OCCUR to me that I could write Aussie books because all I read where American ones?? So I understand and it’s actually a huge struggle. I think it’d be great if you wrote about people that share your experiences, of course and most definitely. But if you’re only recently diagnosed on the specrum, don’t feel like this huge pressure to “write all the autistic characters”. You can write whatever you want. ALWAYS. I mean, I’ve been on the spectrum my whole life, yet only have known for about 2 or 3 years and only THIS YEAR I wrote my first Autistic character. It’s actually really hard!! I find writing personal things is much much harder than anything else.😂
Anyway, I don’t think you should be under all that pressure. Write the stories YOU want to write. And if you don’t feel ready then wait. I’m pretty sure a lot of it is a journey and you’ll get to where you want to be. <3 *sends you all the cake* I think you're amazing! And no matter what you write, the world definitely needs your perspective!
Cait this post is awesome! I wish there were more ya books with autistic mcs, but all of the ones you mentioned that had good rep are going on my tbr! (Except for Queens of Geek, I’ve already read that one and I ADORED it, one of my favorite books of the year.)
Ahh thanks Annie! I’m super glad I helped explode your TBR a bit more. *cackles evilly in the darkness* And Queens of Geek is like THE MOST CUTEST BOOK EVER. So glad it exists!
Bravo to you both for sharing your experiences!! 👏
Sadly, the only book I can recall having read with a autistic main character is On the Edge of Gone by Corinne Duyvis. It didn’t jump out as awful representation to me, but then I’m not autistic so I have no idea. (I also don’t know if the author is autistic.) Have you read it? I mean, you’ve read basically all books in existence, so…
Queens of Geek is high on my TBR, though, and I’m really excited for it!!
I terms of my own experiences, I’m queer, so I often find myself reaching for books with people of diverse sexualities. Sometimes I’ll even pick up a book I suspect will be bad JUST IN CASE it’s good!😂 I do read a lot of contemporary, which has lately been filled with various LGBT+ characters (yay!), but I really wish there was more in fantasy. I think romance often takes the back burner in fantasy, which is fine with me. But I feel like a lot of authors (not to stereotype, but mostly straight authors) don’t want to go to the trouble or take the risk of including a queer relationship. The And I Darken series, which I just read recently, has some GREAT representation, though!!😍😍😍😍
As a writer, I will admit… all my main characters are socially inept queer ladies. Not that I would know anything about that… *laughs awkwardly*
(😅Sorry that was so long!!)
Yay thank you for reading!
And actually I do own the Edge of Gone and the author IS autistic.😂 So we can definitely be assured it is good rep haha. But nooo I haven’t read it yet because I mean, like what have I been doing with my life??? Clearly not reading NEARLY ENOUGH.
I also hear you with picking up the books “just in case”…that’s me for autism rep these days. And it’s worth it for finding the AMAZING ones but sometimes you just want to eat a brick wall for our wrong people get stuff. *sighs* And omg the And I Darken series is legit one of my favourite books of ever. Why is Radu so precious. hE DESERVES BETTER THAN MEHMED THO OK. *howls* I also really really wish things like fantasy would be more diverse! I don’t think authors are intentionally not being diverse? But like you said…if they’re all white/straight/neurotypical it probably doesn’t occur a lot. And if they’re not confident in repping a minority, I say it’s better not to get it wrong than to get it done badly!
(I think your characters sound GREAT.)
😂👍
Cait, this post is awesome! Thank you and Daley both for sharing this with us! I actually have done training and been certified to do early intervention with kids on the spectrum, and worked doing it for almost four years- I worked with the same kid for most of it, and he was just the BEST. I cried so much when I left. Anyway, just a random background nugget 😀
I love the points that you both made! I think people do go into books featuring autism with a certain bias. That whole “I can’t relate” thing is so misguided though. I mean, I don’t relate to some sword-wielding girl fighting dragons either, but I can enjoy the book! It’s just another one of those things that people have preconceived notions of, sadly. I can imagine it being difficult to put yourself in the mindset of a NT character, but I really think it’s something you’re quite good at. I mean, I have read one of your books, and I definitely didn’t see any evidence to the contrary! 😀
Honestly, I think our lives and experiences prejudice us ALL. THE. TIME in reading and writing in some way. I mean- even if I am just having a crap day, I like a book less. If I am feeling especially salty, I don’t want to read about some happy romance. And so on. But really, I think you nailed it when you said it all comes down to the writing being good enough that relating doesn’t matter. And like- I DO like to read about characters like me sometimes, but only sometimes. Because I spend enough time with me, I’d rather spend time with someone else for awhile! Anyway, AWESOME post, I am really so happy for you that you’ve shared this!!
AHH THANKS, SHANNON!! And omg that’s really awesome you were trained for it too!! That is a fantastic background nugget.😂
And YES. I think people go in with that misguided basis for a lot of things too…like if the minority is too far removed from them, there seems to be this mental roadblock of: oh I won’t relate. And it’s super sad. I think the POINT of books is often to help us live outside our own experiences, right?! And pfft, I’ve related to books written from the POV of a dragon. C’mon.😂
And totally agree! The writing is what makes the difference. <3 I don't think we have to be like "omg this character is MEEE" to still like a book. Although that does make some books so much more extra special, eep.
Cait, you are truly wonderful. I know it can be scary to talk about such a personal topic on the internet, but thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. Being able to read open discussions like this and learn from others is tremendously beneficial for people like me who don’t have much knowledge of or experience with autism. It was really interesting to learn how autism affects character writing…that’s something I never really thought of before.
I can totally relate to not talking on the phone. I’m not autistic, but I have social anxiety, and I absolutely hate talking on the phone. I have to do it at work sometimes and my hand literally shakes the entire time, even if I’m talking to someone I know well. If I have a choice, I would email everyone for everything.
Thank you again for being so open with your readers. 🙂 I’m looking forward to your published novels.
THANK YOU, EMILY. It’s honestly super hard to write about personal things…especially when I can’t make my usual weirdly random jokes the whole way through.😂I find that so hard haha. But I’m really glad to be talking about this and I DO think it’s important to discuss. And like just make conversations open so we can learn and listen from each other right?!
Talking on the phone is legit the worst thing in the universe. My social anxiety is caught up with my autism, but I mean…social anxiety IS just social anxiety.😂So I relate a lot to your experience too. (I think whoever got rid of the, you know, messenger pigeon was doing us a huge disservice. That would’ve been great. SO much time to reply slowly and via writing. #BringThePigeonBack.)
This was so interesting. SO INTERESTING.
Also you know, all the kudos to you because stepping outside of the normal ‘this is what my blog looks like’ s a super scary thing, especially when it’s to talk about something so important and so personal. I mean at the risk of sounding like the most patronising ever: YOU DID GOOD THINGS. Also I’m not going to be all ‘you needn’t have worried’ because I hate when people say that because who is anyone else to tell you what you do and don’t need to worry about, but please know that whilst on your end this might have been a scary post to write, on my end it was an excellent post to read – really well thought out and put together, so concise and honest and thought-provoking and actually really fascinating.
I liked.
Also I am nosy, so this whole insight into LIVES, I love it.
Thank yoooo, Josephine! It WAS really scary writing this and not being like my usual wildly ridiculous self.😂 It’s hard being personal omg I need a small nap now.😂 And pfft no you’re not patronising. I love our comment you’re super lovely!! And I’m definitely glad at how great it’s gone over and how AMAZING everyone’s comments have been!! (And thank you so so much for reading. <3)
Aah, I loved this post, Cait! Thank you to both you and Daley for talking to us about being autistic, and what that means for you both as readers and writers! It was so interesting. As far as I can remember, the only book I’ve read with an autistic character is The State of Grace by Rachael Lucas, which I didn’t really enjoy sadly (though because of the story, not the character’s autism). I have a few others on my TBR pile featuring autistic characters that I’m looking forward to reading.; Ginny Moon by Benjamin Ludwig, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon, Queen of Geek by Jen Wilde, and one featuring an autistic secondary character Rules of Rain by Leah Scheier, but I think you weren’t keen on the rep in that one? Which sucks. There’s also Notes on My Family by Emily Chritchley on my TBR, and Goodreads says the MC is “somewhere on the autism spectrum” – which worries me a little, because why not just say she’s on the autism spectrum? Why the “somewhere”? I’m just slightly worried. But I read an extract on the author’s site, and it seemed interesting. I really want to get my hands on The London Eye Mystery by Siobhan Dowd, and read it’s sequel, The Guggenheim Mystery by Robin Stevens (which I already have).
I have anxiety, and, well… it depends. Generally, I’m happy to read books that feature anxiety, in that I don’t avoid them, but I don’t necessarily seek them out. I could deal with most aspects of my anxiety pretty well if I didn’t also have occasional panic attacks. I find them terrifying and upsetting, even though I know I’m ok. So I find reading people experiences panic attacks upsetting, and sometimes triggering. However, saying that, reading Under Rose Painted Skies by Louise Gornall when I was diagnosed was actually really helpful to me. Even though it was also triggering, it was a relief to read a character who was, in some ways, similar to me. It made me feel better. But in general, I don’t seek them out – until know for Mental Illness in YA Month next year.
Yayyy thank you for reading, Jo! I’m so glad to be talking about it and just making it an open discussion…it’s been great reading everyone’s comments too and so awesome how we all have such different perspectives!
Unfortunately I didn’t like State of Grace either.😂 So you’re not alone. I thought the autism rep was okay but like the story??? Ugh that mother.😂
So I DID think the rep in Rules of Rain was good…but it had some pretty problematic undertones. So like the character = good. But how they treated him and how the book concluded things about him = not good. Which is sad and complicated. *sighs* But still worth a read, I think.
I also read this one called On the Spectrum (can’t remember the authors name gah) and it was set in Paris and had REALLY good autism rep…except for the part where literally EVERY time someone said “autism” it was immediately refute with “oh he’s not autistic…he’s just on the spectrum maybe”. Like what the heck, man?? It’s really condescending. Like there’s something “wrong” with it. And plus you either ARE autistic or you’re not.😂
I totally also know how you feel about the anxiety! Honestly sometimes I DO avoid anxiety books. The rep can be great, but I hear you with how it can be very triggering still.😭 *sends cake*
*applauds*
Thank you so much for sharing, Cait and Daley! It takes bravery to tell the interweb world things that impact you, but you both did a great job. I understand the nerves–earlier this year, I wrote a post about my chronic illnesses–and it was scary! Yet all my peoples were sweet and supportive and very much made me feel at ease. I learned a lot about autism from this post, too–thank you!!
I totally relate to what you girls said about characters with sensory processing disorders. I wish there were more of them!!! I have (mild) SPD, mostly in regard to sounds, and I so wish there were more characters with similar struggles.
Thanks again for sharing. I really enjoyed learning more about you!
IT’s so true! It’s really really hard not to be nervous, but like there’s rarely a reason to be so worked up right?! People are lovely and I’m SO LUCKY to have the absolute best followers who say such lovely things. (And also glad you liked the post and it was useful too!!)
Honestly SPD should be in way more books because it’s very common. And it sucks that it’s not a diagnosable thing anymore (I believe they removed it?? Which is dumb.) It really affects people’s lives and should have WAY more awareness so people don’t go “oh you’re just being oversensitive.” NO! It actually causes us physical pain! I’m really really sensitive to touching and hearing.
Anyway. Rambling.😂 Thanks for your lovely comment!!
Cait I LOVE YOU OKAY. <3 Thank you (and Daley) for sharing your experiences with us, this is so educational and helpful!
My life experiences… do affect my reading and writing a lot, I guess?? I mean, I'm Chinese- and also NT but I DO have anxiety and I feel like most of my characters are shy and smol. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE FIERCE CHARACTERS HELP?? I tried to make my MC of my WIP cutting and mean but she's just a potato (like me) and yeah.
I've read Queens of Geek as well! AND DON'T WORRY CAIT, of course NT people should be able to relate to Autistic people, and I don't understand why not. (In my review, I might put that "I can't judge the representation since I'm not in this minority" but of course I can most likely relate to characters.)
CAIT DON'T WORRY ABOUT HAVING TOO MANY AUTISTIC CHARACTERS! There are few books around with good autistic representation, so I really hope that you are able to publish your book. I WANT TO READ AND BUY IT.
THIS IS LIKE THE NICEST OF EVER, THANK YOUUUUUU. <3 *squishes you and gives you at lest 3 cake crumbs*
I totally hear you with writing characters really outside our experience! ?Like that is me with extroverts. Halp. I don't understand them. HOW DO THEY LIKE PEOPLE SO MUCH.😂 I literally have an extrovert character in my recent WIP and it's like studying an alien. I think our own life experiences will always heavily influence our view on the world, right?! Which is actually kind of good! It makes all our writings so different.
And I'm SO glad you think that about NT's relating to autistics! It absolutely definitely should be that way...and I just hope more people realise it! Like I heard the statistic that 1 in 70 people in the USA are on the spectrum, so like!? Where is all my rep at. There should be more. (And I do the same with the representation of different minorities if I don't belong to it! I'll be like "this seems good to me but I'm not an authority so go read reviews from ownvoices reviewers too!)
Haha, most of my characters ARE actually NT, but it's like a real release to write autistic ones too. :') Although quite HARD.😂 It always feels so personal!
Oh my goodness Cait thank you so much for this post. It is one of my favourites of yours so far. It is SO fantastic and interesting to learn more about autism (especially in girls whoo) from you guys and understand how it affects you and I was literally gripped by all of it. I really appreciate the fact that you have both taken the time and the courage to educate us neurotypicals. I have learnt a lot from this post!!! And I hope that having this diagnosis has been a positive thing for you after flying under the radar for so long!
OF COURSE neurotypicals can empathize with neurodivergent people and anyone, agent or reader who says otherwise is OBVIOUSLY LYING and also a lazy and small minded person. Keep doing what you’re doing and put in as many autistic characters as you want or not (Daley too), it will make your work unique, important but most importantly true to yourselves. Since you are both great writers we will be cheering your work all the way whatever you do. I for one would love to read about more autistic and other neurodivergent characters!! I think also society needs it???? Also, my small cousin is on the autistic spectrum and I need to prepare them endless piles of book recs hopefully including some representation, in order to successfully suck them into the fantasy book cult…I mean fandom (bwahahahaa!!) 👍👍
Omg thank you, Maddy!! THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. And honestly it’s great to just open it up as a conversation! I see a LOT of autism books come out lately, but so many of them seem to just be relying on stereotypes and such…so it’s kind of needed to be talking about it from a personal perspective basically. 😜
And YES. Absolutely! It’s a shame people can be so small-minded, but that’s honestly the only reason for it. A good book = a good book, no matter what perspective it’s being written from.
(Also I have a ton of nieces/nephews on the spectrum and I really hope by the time their YA reading age, they’ll have like options to read from that celebrate who they are!)
Anyway, thanks for reading, YOU ARE LOVELY.
Life is happening a lot (or rather, mental health is happening a lot) and I don’t have much brain to comment, but I wanted to say thank you for this post!
Aww, thanks for reading, Nikki!! I really appreciate it!!
Wonderful interview! I think autism should be brought up more and how it can interfere with people’s daily lives. The authors sound like lovely people! I also don’t like any books with gore and explicit language/scenes.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for reading, Heidi! Autism can definitely interfere with our lives, but it also makes us who we are…so often I don’t think it’s an interference. It’s a way of seeing and processing the world.
pretty much everyone in my family, has a form of ADHD or falls somewhere in the spectrum disorder. So I always wonder if I have just never being diagnosed because I definitely show most of the traits for both . Maybe that’why I haven’t finish my WIPs! [sighs] My dialogues are so short [kind the way I talk to people, when I muster the courage to], I have difficulties expressing certain emotional states that most people display and I never have 100% silence around me so I can concentrate! Great Post!
These things tend to run in the family, right?!😂 50% of my nieces/nephews are autistic and like literally everyone in my family has anxiety disorders…ahhh…we’re all WEIRD AND AWESOME TOGETHER. I think this can make it hard for us to write, but definitely NOT impossible. We just have to work harder at expressing ourselves on page right?? 😀
Yes I think it does have a genetic component and yes we are awesome and … well miss “soon to be published author”” didn’t you just prove it???!!! A Thousand Perfect Notes! WOOOO HOOOO I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU CAIT! I CAN’T EVEN!!! I know how much you love to write and how hard you have worked on your projects! and it’s so unbelievably JUST like the book you always mentioned you wanted to write!!! [YA contemporary, from a boy perspective, family relationships etc] and that title is just precious. Very you. 🙂 I remember the last time I stalked your agent’s page it said they were looking for the perfect title. well I guess they found it! and I guess I can stop stalking them now and keep stalking your site! June can’t get here soon enough!
Omg THANK YOU.😂😂 I feel so bad for not having been able to say it till today!!😂 And it is absolutely a very ME kind of book…I’m so freaking happy haha.
Oh wow reading the comments on this post it’s so awesome!!! I kinda had made peace with the fact “I’m the way I’m” diagnosed or not but now after reading some comments these wonderful people left here feel like going and get it over with so I can show it to my husband and tell him… “baby I’m really NOT kidding when I say I rather tame a wild horse than making that phone call or talk to that stranger knocking at the door” he gets so frustrated with me! 😔😜
Funny, many people told me the best indication I wasn’t in the ASD was how sarcastic I was 🙄😬
Omg I know right?! When my mum and I first started talking about it and wondering if that’s what I had…I was like “but I have a good imagination and I’m sarcastic so I CAN’T be autistic.” GAGHG. Goes to show that there is not enough accurate information available out there!!
THIS POST is really really high on my list of absolute favourites, Cait! I read along with your blog but don’t often comment, but this struck me so hard I really wanted to.
As an NT who tends to read and write NT characters, I’m not always sure how to respond to characters or people who process the world differently than me. I want to engage with people without making them uncomfortable and sometimes that’s scary and hard and I don’t even know where to start, so sometimes I just… don’t. And that makes me sad! Thank you so so much for breaking down some barriers and talking about this just like you talk about everything else – with humour, and clarity, and whip-sharp sass! I love reading your posts and this one was so so so good. THANK YOU.
OH THANK YOU SO MUCH. THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME HONESTLY. <3
And honestly: I think just treat all people like people. Like we all have different ways of processing the world but we're still people and have a LOT in common. (Super glad you liked the post!)
Thank you for sharing this, Cait! It was so enlightening reading this post!
I haven’t actually read many books featuring autistic characters, so I think it’s really important that more writers write it into their stories whilst making sure they’re not filling their novel with harmful stereotypes/inaccurate representation of autism.
I don’t have autism, but I do have severe anxiety. I HATE speaking on the phone, I’m super shy in groups of people, and I suffer from bad panic attacks etc. It’s SO HARD finding books with anxiety disorders in them; when I DO find books with characters who suffer from anxiety, there can be negative stereotypes/harmful representation involved which is so frustrating. ACCURATE REP IS SO IMPORTANT.
Thank you so much for sharing this post! <3
Yayy thanks for reading, Kyra! I’m glad you liked it. 😂
TOTALLY relate on the severe anxiety (and pls why do phone exist can we just all burn them?!? TEXTING OR CARRIER PIGEONS ARE OK) And honestly I struggle to find books that deal with anxiety accurately too. And without “curing” it at the end with romance. We need better rep and we deserve it!
Hi Cait^^
That was ABSOLUTELY brave of you.
I just wanna pop by and say that no matter how different you are, you are well-loved by your faithful readers/fan-girl like me. I’ve never missed any of your posts and you are one of the most ENTERTAINING, HILARIOUS, WACKY blogger/reviewer/author on planet earth and beyond LOL.
Love ya, Cait and can’t wait to read all your books^^
Thanks so much, Nora! I’m so glad you liked it! And I’m like absolutely freaking out with happiness that you read ALL my posts?!? LIKE YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE BEST. IM JUST SAYING. <3 <#
When I was a very small child I was diagnosed with severe ADHD and later “unofficially” diagnosed with ASD- and I’ve discovered that the best thing I can use the ADHD/ASD for with writing is analyzing. I have a tendency to obsess over things and attempt to analyze people’s emotions and. responses and the impetus for their actions. This 100% helps with characterization!!
I’ve also noticed that most ASD teens are more open to people’s differences than most neurotypical teens… In my area at least. This was a GREAT POST and the dragons 100% approve.
Absolutely! SAME. I analyse so much and honestly it’s good for us?!? Like that’s what writing is all about: analysing people and walking in their shoes and trying to understand perspectives. We might have to reach a little harder, but I think that can show in our work — how hard we and carefully we work to represent different types of people.
And YES. I think it’s easier for us as autistics to like accept other weirdness because…why does it even have to be weird?!
(I’m so glad you liked it!)
Thank you so much (and many thanks to Daley, of course!) for having the courage to talk about your ASD, Cait! This post was very enlightening and touched upon things I would’ve never thought about, such as writing NT characters when the way you perceive and experience the world differs from a NT person. I have ADHD but I’ve never written an ADHD character, and I’m not sure why? I’m adamant about introducing disorders to the fantasy genre (recently posted on the blog about this topic if you’re interested), which is my preferred genre to read and write, but for some reason, ADHD has never made it into any of my work. However, my characters and their lives definitely mirror mine. For example, in each and every single book I’ve written, characters will feel the need to prove themselves to the father figure. Hello, inferiority issues. I’ve realised the patterns re-appear in my projects. It’s pretty scary how the brain subconsciously spins the same tales over and over 😉 Truly a lovely and inspiring post! Keep more of these coming if you will! <3
Oh I LOVED this comment, Nina! I totally relate to that feeling when patterns reappear in stories! I’m super quiet so I often end up writing about characters who don’t feel heard. Like not intentionally but it happens.😂 And honestly, I only JUST started writing specifically ASD characters. I think it’s hard writing characters who are really close to your experiences sometimes? It’s more personal.
I’m so glad you liked the post!!
Yes, that’s exactly what I meant! Though writing is art we (potentially) produce for others to read, it is also a means of “soul-cleansing”, in a way. I just hope that, one day, one of my characters will actually tell their father to shove his expectations up his ass (sorry, Dad, haha) – now THAT will be a psychological breakthrough! 😛 Anyway, I agree with you! It is both easier and harder writing characters close to your own experiences (perhaps that’s why I never consciously made the decision to include an ADHD character? I’ll have to think on it). How did it make you feel, now that you’ve started writing specifically ASD characters?
Yes exactly! Honestly I think it can be harder because we have SO much information. Like we know all the things that people don’t commonly hear about and, well for me…I want to put that ALL in. But you really can’t when trying to write a concise book.😂 I also worry about just rewriting “me” if it’s a condition I share. But it’s also fun to twist it and explore new angles. :’) I honestly felt a huge release writing ASD characters. It just felt like the most honest and true thing I’d written, if that makes sense?
Hahaha, that’d be rather challenging for writing a concise book, I can see that! And yes, your response makes perfect sense to me. I can imagine writing an ASD character being a huge release. Perhaps I will someday write an ADHD character and see how it goes (*makes a note in creative writing journal*) 😉 Can I ask you something else about your ASD? I’m a Child and Adolescent Psych major, so I’m super interested in disabilities and disorders. Usually, ASD is a diagnosis given at a rather early age (unless, of course, it is somehow missed). I was wondering whether you have a possible explanation as to why you were diagnosed very late? (Should you feel self-conscious or uncomfortable talking about this, please do not feel pressured to answer).
Oh haha no that’s fine!
So it’s VERY typical for women to be diagnosed late. There are tons of articles about it online and the psychologist(s) I’ve talked to have confirmed it’s “normal” for girls to be “missed” and overlooked. We present different to boys and the boys have monopolised the symptoms in a way, if that makes sense? And girls often blend better and are able to be more of a chameleon. So all those DEFINITELY contributed in my case.
And also I homeschooled and my parents were really “just be you!” all through my childhood, so most of my symptoms were probably unnoticed because of that. (I’m also second youngest of 6 kids and was always super quiet.😂) I do regret not being diagnosed earlier though, because I mean being a teen SUCKS for everyone, but it’s worse when you realise how much you don’t fit and you haven’t got a word for it. So that was hard. I have super high anxiety/social anxiety/low social skills in real life — all things that might’ve been helped with early intervention? But who knows.
(Best of luck with your ADHD character!!)
Ah yes, how did I not think of that! (I think you mentioned this in your post. When I overlook stuff, I just point to my ADHD as the scapegoat – make lemonade out of lemons, am I right?). Stereotypes and gender bias is a thing, sadly. Also, a lot of applications at the MH services are filed by teachers; if you’re going to be conspicuous, it’s more likely to be in a classroom. But I love your parents’ “be you” philosophy so much. A diagnosis might have affected that, Idk? Still, I see what you mean about adolescence issues. I hope the expression ‘better late than never’ still applies in this case 🙂
I’m sorry you have to deal with so much anxiety. But you know what? In the bookverse, you come across as the friendliest, bubbliest, liveliest person (with a great sense of humour). So, I hope this is an anxiety-free zone for you, because I don’t see anxiety being a guest at this party 😉
*tackle hugs* Thanks, Nina! The internet is definitely my “safe place” and can cut out all that anxiety middle ground which I love.😂
Honestly I always relate to characters somehow, there’ll have certain quirks, personality traits or likes that I share, or they’re unbelievably sarcastic which I love because I’m only fluent in two languages (English and Sarcasm haha). Interestingly I have a friend who’s autistic, yet I still relate to him on his fear of socialising as I am a total introvert. I don’t mind socialising but honestly, its so draining talking to people. Don’t worry about whether the reader will be able to relate, there’ll be those who can’t and there’ll be those who can like with anything. It just means we;re all different, and there’s nothing wrong with being different. Anyway aside from me being a total introvert and weirdo, hit me with book recs for great rep on autism and other things Cait, since you’ve gotta to be itching to deal them out haha.
Being fluent in English and Sarcasm IS SO RELATABLE. ME TOO.😂 And absolutely! I thin introverts will relate better to ASD people because of the aversion/hard time with socialising.😂So there is tons to relate to, right?! I think people who think they can’t relate are being very close-minded and it’s sad, but hopefully they’re just a few people and not the majority.
(The world would be awfully boring if everyone was the same.😂)
OH and I listed book recs at the top of the post!
I almost forgot to comment on this post, but this hits home to me, because I babysit a boy who is autistic. I have a hard time keeping a conversation up with him, but he’s honestly the sweetest kid I know. I’m so thankful he’s in my life; I’ve learned so much from him. He’s literally like my little brother. And he’s quietly intelligent and has a lot of love for people; he just has a different way of showing it. I don’t know how much I would relate to books with autistic characters (I admit; I haven’t read many of them), but I definitely can relate to having social anxiety and having a hard time talking to people. I should definitely read some of the books you mentioned 🙂
Thanks for this post. I really enjoyed reading it :
-Sarah
AWw this is the sweetest comment and I LOVE it. I love how you said “he just has a different way of showing it” because honestly I think that’s the crux of autism. We’re basically doing/feeling what everyone else is…just a little differently. And we’re all so different amongst each other too. Like I have an autistic nephew and niece. My niece will NEVER SHUT UP but my nephew only holds a conversation if it’s a special interest he’s really into.
I’m super glad you liked the post!! And hope you have good luck with the book recommendations!
This was a super interesting post, Cait! I didn’t know you were autistic (tho that doesn’t change anything of how I think of you 💕) and I didn’t think of how autism (or disabilities or mental illnesses) could affect how you write! I personally find characters easy to write and plots SUPER HARD (aka my struggle right now) but I can totally see how autism could influence the way you write characters. I really enjoyed this post, Cait!
Thanks so much, May!! I haven’t said I’m autistic online before (except for like this week where I said it in a goodreads review too) and it’s nice to be talking about it finally! And absolutely, right?! Everything about our background will affect our writing viewpoint. That’s probably why it’s so important to have people from all different types of lives writing. Expand all our thinking. 😊
I find it strange that people say things like, “I didn’t relate because I’m not autistic.” That just seems like such a silly comment to me. You can relate to so many people/characters–sure, you might relate more to some characters and less to others but I think saying you didn’t relate “BECAUSE” they’re autistic is not very good reasoning?? You can easily sympathize with a character even if you can’t directly empathize with them. I mean, tons of people who have never been wizards or orphans relate to Harry Potter. Tons of people who have never killed a demon or thought they were in love with their brother can relate to Clary Fray. So why say you can’t relate to someone because they’re autistic? You know? Hopefully this comment made sense. Thanks for the great and so informative post! Excellent work as always 🙂
It is a silly comment!! I’ve heard it a few times though, so I HOPE that’s just a very small amount of people who think that.😂 I mean I relate to people who have VERY LITTLE in common with me in books. But you find that one thing and it’s like — perfection. 😍 I do feel people put up blocks to minorities sometimes though which is a problem. And agreed with the sympathise vs empathise. Both are good but you don’t HAVE to have both to enjoy a book!!
(This comment is lovely and encouraging!! THANK YOU.)
Sorry for the late reply, I’ve been on holidays and now am back, and I am catching up on blog posts little by little.
This post was so awesome. I’m also on the autism spectrum, and am so happy to meet two other people who are also on the spectrum. I related to a lot of the answers you both gave. I’ve never finished writing any novel and have given up any dreams of writing, because I’m very worried everyone in the novel would act autistic. But I’m okay with it at the moment, I’m doing other things nowadays (like reading a lot). Anyway, I loved reading the answers of you both (and have of course subscribed to Daley’s blog straight away).
Aww I appreciate you catching up! (But don’t ever feel beholden to haha. I know I blog a lot.😂)
And that is SO AWESOME you’re on the spectrum too! It’s really nice to find/meet other people who understand the equalness of the awesome and the struggles. I think we probably face a lot of the same problems any writer would go through, but it’s like good to understand WHY some things are harder for us, right?! It’s a challenge, but it can be fun.😂
Oh my goodness, Cait and Daley, thank y’all so so so much for this post!! It kind of clicked for me that I’m probably autistic a few months ago and just….everything made a lot of sense, particularly with writing and reading, so this was just such a joy to read!! This was just such a wonderful discussion y’all had and it absolutely made my night. <3
I definitely agree with the question about how being autistic affects your writing, I've found that describing how characters feel and having non-choppy dialogue is TOUGH. What are words? How do I express feelings??? What does actual people speak even sound like????? I do not know!!! 😀
Eeep, that’s SO awesome you’re on the spectrum too!! I mean, obviously we have things we really struggle with, but our brains are rather awesome if I do say so myself.😂 And I do think autistic writers often have a lot of struggle that any writers would have, but some things would definitely be harder for us. But it just makes the puzzle more challenging and exciting right?!😂
Wow. I loved this post!!! My mom is a speech therapist who works with mostly younger children, and is actually starting training specifically for Autism, so I like to think that I’m at least somewhat chill about Autism. Plus, I feel that I can 10/10 relate to Autistic people instead of NT people.
ANYWAYS. It’s an interesting question that you two proposed (about NT not being able to relate to Autistic characters), and one that I hadn’t really considered! I almost ALWAYS find it incredibly interesting to read about minorities.
I’ve attempted to write a side character in one of my novels as having OCD. He’s in only part way through the book, and then not that much (a younger sibling not often seen). But. Everything doesn’t feel right. I write him as “barely” OCD. I am 90% sure that I have “diluted” or “everyday” OCD, so that’s something that I feel pretty passionate about … but it just won’t come out right. :/
All that to say, I thought that this was an amazing post! I definitely hope that you do similar things in the future!!
Oh thank you, Alyssa!! I’m really pleased you enjoyed it! And also I mean, I’m totally biased, but I think ASD is super relatable. A lot of us are shy and introverted and like nerdy/geeky things…I mean what is not to relate to here?!😂
And I mean hopefully it’s just a TINY percentage of readers who put up those roadblocks of “Oh I can’t relate if I’m too different” because I mean why would we read books if not to experience different things?!
And actually I really understand how hard it is to write about something you experience yourself. Writing about autism for me was equally releasing and fun and actually terrifying because it’s like we have SO much information on the topic from experiencing it…and how do you condense that to a page!? It’s hard.😂
Ooh! What an interesting post! I have totally missed it.
Things I Should Have Known was a delightful book, I absolutely loved it. Glad to know it was good rep. I also thought so, but my expertise is kind of.. not really worth anything due to lack of knowledge, so I’m glad to have it confirmed 🙂
Oh dang, I didn’t know you were on the spectrum too, Cait. Must have not been reading the blog very attentively 😀 (or missed all the important posts…) I like it how you said us girls blend in more easily. I will admit, autism makes me very curious. Maybe I should read some nonfiction about it. Now I wonder about good sources of that. Good nonfiction isn’t that easy to locate.
Interesting about writing non-autistic characters. But I guess that makes perfect sense. At least you see now how neurotypical authors mess up writing autistic people etc. In the end though, I feel like we’re all so different. I don’t know if I’d be able to write a character different from myself, let’s not even start with neurotypical or anything else. Even male. I don’t know if I could adequately write males. But I guess that’s why I’m not a writer in the first place 😀 I can imagine though, it probably takes A LOT of work to write something that’s pretty alien to you. I will say though, in my past, it was dreams that gave me insights into people who function very differently from me (to be honest? I’ve had a dream I WAS A TREE even. And that was a very different kind of existence.) Has that ever happened to you? I’m one of those people who often dreams they’re a man or like… a soldier, a… a lot of things I’ve never been in this life and could not relate otherwise. In one dream I was a demon with a pack of 12 demon brothers and sisters, actually. After waking up from that one I realized that there’s no such thing as good and evil, just a matter of perspective. And that “evil” folks also love their kin. (I’d say good life lesson.) So I guess my question is I wonder if your dreams could also help you achieve something like that? Although I don’t know if other people’s dreams are as different from their existence as mine are 🙂 (I dreamt I was a tree! So you know.)
I also don’t like explicit sexual content of violence 🙂 (most violence. Depends. For example, the Neil Gaiman kind of violence is somehow okay. It’s in how it’s presented, I guess.)
May I ask though, Cait, what the autistic experience translates to for you? Aside from the no touchie feelie, that you mentioned 🙂 I’d be very curious to find out, but it’s okay if you don’t want to answer, at least publicly. I think I’ve had an autistic friend… A close one. He was a boyfriend at one point. Somewhere on the spectrum, or maybe Asperger’s or something, I’m no specialist. But there was definitely something. But in the end, I learned to be friends, and good friends with him. And now I don’t even feel like he’s strange, he’s just… him. That’s the way HE is, and it’s unique to him, and that’s completely normal for me. So I am sometimes surprised when other people tell me how weird he is to them 😀 cause to me, it’s just him. And I have realized I like learning that about a specific person. So that’s why I’m asking 🙂 I’m curious about “the map of Cait” 😀 in the end, learning to communicate with every particular person in their way is the most interesting thing about life, I guess. At least for me. Mapping other people is no worse than mapping a planet. All of us is a planet, after all. In terms of inner scope 🙂 (I hope I am making sense xD)
Actually, it would be really interesting to read a book written from an Autistic perspective. Provided that I know it is and know how to try to relate. Because if I didn’t know they were autistic I might just not adjust. But reading that would be super interesting. It’s like those dreams of mine, putting myself in their shoes. Super interesting. I enjoyed being a tree so I should definitely enjoy the experience of another human being XD don’t know about stabby though 😀 don’t know if I’d enjoy that. I’m a sensitive cookie.
I also need total quiet!!! Nobody ever gets that!!!!!!! (I can’t put enough exclamation marks on that.) Like, everyone always talks about working in a coffee shop? WORST. NIGHTMARE. Hmm, maybe noise cancelling headphone are the way to go… What kind do you use? Because earplugs just suck :/ they make my migraines go nuts. I wish people understood that thing about silence though. My family tends to be like “oh I’ll turn on this random background noise like the TV cause silence is creepy” and I’m like PLEASE NO.
Aw man, that sucks about Daley’s book getting rejected because of ASD. MEH.
Phone calls. I ALSO CAN NOT DO THOSE AT ALL. Finally someone understands!!! I’m pretty sure I am not autistic, but here I am finding more common things with you than a regular person xD why does nobody understand the phone calls thing? Gosh.. I have actually trained myself to answer and do work phone calls now, but it took years and I’m still NOPE about phone calls if I can avoid them. Phone calls are ugh. Who would want to call when you can possibly avoid it 😀 nobody ever understands this.. They just look at me as if I’m some child ._. it’s the most annoying thing ever. At least you can say “hey, ASD!”… I’m supposed to be regular old cookie and be able to to phone calls XD
Anyway, boyfriend is making apple pie and it’s almost done and he’s chasing me off the computer. Good thing I’m almost done with this comment then 😀 I wonder if it’s the longest in the bunch or not……… 😀
Haha, I didn’t actually talk about being autistic before this! So you didn’t miss anything.😂
Dude, your dreams are intense. I don’t even remember dreams at all (granted I barely sleep buuuut anyway😂). I think as a writer, no matter who we are, it’s our job to like get outside our own skin and figure out how to write someone ELSE. Right!? Or else all books would be pretty boring because authors would just be autobiographical and who wants to read that over and over again.😂
Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde is by an autistic author. And you should check out Daley’s book too, of course! I definitely don’t think autistic authors are required to like declare themselves or anything. Like my book coming out (sQUEEE) has no autistic characters and I’m autistic soooo yeah.😂 Autistic AND neurotypical authors can write whatever they want.
(And for me, my autism is probably most strongly displayed in my sensory processing issues, need for routine, and I barely talk.😂)
Oh yes, the dreams thing… You see, I was working towards lucid dreaming a lot (actually even met my boyfriend in a lucid dreaming forum), so yes, dreams used to be my thing 😀
I totally need to read up more on autism, this is very interesting. Especially the sensory stuff you mention 🙂 Frankly though, I can’t imagine you barely talking, cause of your posts 😀 I guess internet really does liberate us, doesn’t it 🙂
Fascinating post. I appreciate so much you two sharing your thoughts with us. I’m a huge believer in the power of fiction to build empathy and to educate. I’m not a writer, but if I were, I know that the characters who would populate a book of mine now would be far more diverse than the characters of a book I would have written twenty years ago. (Does that even make sense?)
Books with canon autistic characters I’ve really enjoyed: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, Marcelo In the Real World, Rain Reign. Books I’ve read and liked okay but not loved: Rules, Mockingbird. I have Anything But Typical and Why I Jump (nonfiction) in my classroom library too, but haven’t read them yet. I’m noticing that most of these are MG or YA novels. Are there adult novels with characters with autism? I’d love some more recommendations.
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Wendy! Thanks for reading! 😀 And absolutely yes that books should create empathy and educate…I honestly think that’s the biggest reason they exist.
I loved The Curious Incident of the Dog too! And Marcelo was great. I reeeally didn’t like Mockingbird. 😭😭 I know the author has an autistic daughter, but like it was SO harmful and just portrayed people with autism as mentally deficient and soulless with no empathy unless learned. That is SO far from the truth.
I actually haven’t got any adult ASD recommendations though because I mostly read YA. (Except for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close! But it’s got a 9 year old narrator, but it’s technically an adult book. SUPER good.)
I’m really glad you posted this because I found myself nodding in agreement with much of it. There are some aspects of writing that come naturally to me, but others that I struggle with. Giving characters realistic relationships and emotional reactions is probably the biggest. I like writing characters who are quirky, slightly awkward and single-minded in their obsessions but until recently almost every character I wrote fell under that description.
And it’s not like I don’t feel “normal” emotions – I’m a fairly empathetic person – but I’m finding I have only a dim understanding of how most people react emotionally in different situations. So I’ve tried to guess how a character might react in a particular scene and the results are often whimsical and unconvincing. My fiction ends up feeling slightly “off” in a way that I could never pin down, so I would compensate by using elaborate description and a sense of place to make it feel more realistic, which had the effect of making it less compelling. Beta readers *liked* my stories but never felt gripped by them.
So I’ve had to adjust by doing intense research. One of the great things about fiction is that it’s a record of what people feel and how they react and behave in different settings. Over the last year or so I’ve spent countless hours noting how other writers portray characters’ reactions and the relationships between characters because I feel this is too important to mess up. You could nail every other aspect of your craft but if your characters come off as unconvincing it poisons the rest of the story. It’s encouraging to know I’m not the only person who’s struggled with that, and who has had to labor intensely to overcome it.
Yayy Boze thank you so much for commenting! (And I’m glad it finally worked and my blog isn’t being awful to you.)
And I think working out (multiple) characters and their depths and making them real and complex…it’s a huge deal! We all should totally give ourselves a pat and some cake for it, because it’s like being so so many people all at once and this is why writers are always so tired. 😂 (And I very much relate to being empathetic but also not understanding reactions. I almost always give the wrong reaction/wrong facial expression in all experiences. 😭😭)
I also think just reading more and more books help with this? Like if we flood ourselves with people putting hteir emotions/reactions on page, it’s going to pay off!! Learning by exposure!