If you’ve been on the internet for anywhere upwards of 2 minutes, you’ve probably seen someone point at a book and yell, “MY CHILD.”
And it was probably me.
This is a bit weird, but what on the internet isn’t? So no judgement, friend.
Now it is hilarious that I’m one of these “OH THIS BOOK IS MY CHILD” type of people because I plan never to have children because can you imagine what they’d turn out like? Really anxious and smol and furious and covered in dragon scales. Not the kind of quality content this planet needs.* So I just am here to adopt books.
But today I want to talk about (1) why books are our children and (2) some actual children in books who are our children. It’s a complicated family tree. If you can’t keep up, go outside and eat a bush and grow yourself some leaves.
I absolutely love reading about smol humans in Young Adult books. You know the cute little brothers and sisters? LOVE ‘EM. Probably because I had one and she was ** super cute.
Alright let’s get to it, since this is a like a Two Part post today which is pretty impressive for someone who forgot to blog much last week and the world ended because of it.
* I did, in fact, just refer to children as “quality content”. I’m not sure if I should leave quietly or be thrown out.
** I say “was” like she might’ve died but yet…no. She’s on twitter and is occasionally mean to me.
I’m also linking up with Top Ten Tuesday for their prompt “Top Ten Books I Want My Future Children to Read” which I couldn’t do strictly properly because of aforementioned non-child-collecting reasons. And also I fel like this prompt should be about me picking out childhood books I loved….AND I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT I READ WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD?????
I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT I READ YESTERDAY.
- Because we’re OLD. And we just noticed that the 17-year-old protagonist who is super super cute…is like…a lot younger than us. Don’t be creepy.
- Because both children and books need protecting. Especially in this day and age where a lot of trolls get a kick out of just hating on things. So if you find something good and precious in a book you just GOTTA PROTECT IT. It’s instinctual.
- If you’re not into romance, this is a better way of saying “I’m in love with it.” Because like I LOVE something, but I’m not IN LOVE with it. Because romance: why.
- Just like children, we take photos of our books and show them off. These days it’s all about #bookstagram. So forget whipping out your phone to show off a picture of your cute baby. We’re all here to say, “LOOK AT THIS GORGEOUS COLLECTOR’S EDITION!!” which is 500% a life improvement on photos of literally anything else.
- They’re both high maintenance. When you sink a lot of money into something, you take good care of it. Like, okay whatever you buy your kid Johnny some good shoes so his legs don’t fall off. And you buy your book a good shelf so it doesn’t get crumpled. It’s THE SAME THING. All this care-taking of books —> absolutely leads to them feeling like high maintenance children.
- It’s internet culture and I don’t even know why. It just happened, a lot like how we stopped using text language unless we want to use it ironically. If you ever see me say “lol” or “lmao” or “u” instead of you —> there is a total chance I am mocking myself into an early grave. We don’t question internet culture, we just go with it.
Right, so everything is super clear, is it not?
It is not. I’m glad you think it is!
Now I want to mention some of my ACTUAL favourite YA-featuring bookish children! The ones who are the younger brothers and sisters and babies! I absolutely adore them in books, because families are A+ and I want to read about all the smol ones.
Obligatory Self-Promo: in my book, A Thousand Perfect Notes (COMING OUT JUNE 2018 HOLY HECKKKK) my protagonist has a 5 year-old-sister who is also a Slytherin. Reason #9849 my book is great. *
* Love me. Preorder it. 209 days to go.
1. FINN FROM THE SCORPIO RACES
No one actually said how old Finn was AND IT DRIVES ME A LITTLE MAD because I like ages, people. Concrete ages. You know how when you’re 12 and the most important thing is to know if the kid next to you is 12 or 11 to establish the pecking order??? I still feel that way. I gotta know your age. Anyway. Finn is the most adorable and vaguely sad child ever. I think he’s about 14. I also think he has canon OCD and I love him even more because yes to mental health rep in fantasy. Also he loves baking and can be won over with sugary cinnamon twists. #Relatable
2. DYLAN FROM AFTERWARD
This book is REALLY dark and brutal and about kidnapped kids…so basically go into it if you’re ready to have your feelings thrashed and shredded. Caroline’s little brother, Dylan, is 11 when he’s kidnapped. He’s ADORABLE and also has autism (he’s non-verbal) and it’s a really well portrayed and I have feelings for this smol child who breaks my heart. Save all the smol children.
3. DYLAN FROM TEETH
Apparently all the cute little brothers are named Dylan these days. BUT ANYWAY. He’s 5 and super sick so his family take him to this magical island where they eat magical fish while his older brother Rudy (the protagonist) falls in love with a magical merboy. Everything hurts and I’m DYING. Because so is the merboy. And Dylan. #HURTING I soooo love this book.
4. MIA FROM HERE LIES DANIEL TATE
Wow so I totally forgot her name but WHATEVER. So Daniel Tate is disguising as this rich missing kid and is reunited with his “long lost family” and he gets really close with his 6-year-old little sister, Mia. She’s just SO CUTE AND SWEET. She also has a disability and has to wear braces on her legs. And Daniel who is this heartless con artist is like there for 4 seconds and immediately: “MIA, THE WORLD IS YOURS JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.”
5. EVERY BLACKTHORN BABY CHILD EVER IN LADY MIDNIGHT
N’nnngh I’m so IN LOVE with the Blackthorns I cannot even. Like protect them. PROTECT THEM ALL. I mean they watched their parents be murdered and Julian is being a 17-year-old dad and my HEART CAN’T TAKE IT. Legit my favourite fictional family ever. Tavvy is 7 and adorable and sat in sugar. Dru is 13, sweet and badass and into horror. Livvy and Ty are 15-year-old twins and Ty is autistic (!!!) AND THEN THERE’S MARK THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE. I mean, he’s 17. But my son.
6. MINYA FROM STRANGE THE DREAMER
7. DUSTY FROM HOLDING UP THE UNIVERSE
He was just the super sweetest little kid. I think he was 9??? I have no idea. He took a purse to school, ok, and I want him to grow up into the most pure cinnamon son of them all. And I love that Jack just protected his decisions no matter what. BROTHERS.
8. EMMI FROM BLOOD RED ROAD
Still lowkey pretending this is a standalone because the finale make me want to bite a brick wall. ANYWAY SHE WAS THE SWEETEST. It’s a really bloody gritty dystopian where everyone is getting shot and Emmi is like SWEET BUTTERFLY WINGS but trying to be as sassy/tough as her big sister, Saba. They fight like anything and I love it.
9. SYDNEY FROM VICIOUS
This is totally cheating because Vicious is an adult book…but if I don’t like break my own rules??? Who have I become??? ANYWAY I LOVE SYDNEY. She also rose from the dead and has superpowers and is very smol and sweet. And Victor (AKA SUPER BADASS) takes care of her. It’s also been 3 years since I read this!?? I need to reread because I recall nothing. Except for chocolate milk and death.
10. JULIAN FROM A LIST OF CAGES
OK so he’s 14 but you know what? Hush. He’s a smol damaged abused child and BREAKS MY HEART. No really, this book is my favourite and I have so so many feelings and jfadskl read this if you want to punch yourself in the face. Plus Adam doubles as Julian’s “big brother” figure and their relationship is SO GOOD AND SWEET. He also has dyslexia! This news just in: WILL GIVE JULIAN THE WORLD IF HE ASKS.