Bookworms like to convince the universe that we are very very very smart.
It is a lie. A complete lie. And I can confidently say this because I know the inner workings of the bookworm mind SINCE I AM ONE. See there’s this thing called Bookworm Logic™ and it roughly translates to “something that makes no sense to non-bookworms, is bizarre, and probably dangerous, and yet makes PERFECT SENSE TO ALL BOOKWORMS“.
And even though we justify our Bookworm Logic until Armageddon and back again * — most of it is still entirely dubious.
Oh you want examples? OH WELL THEN. Lucky for you I am here to give examples. Today I’m listing 10 of the absolute worst pieces of Bookworm Logic. And look, we bookworms are strange and odd and somewhat nonsensical, BUT DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU, MY BOOKWORM FIENDS. Be who you are deep down inside. **
Also I acknowledge that not all bookworms will agree with my definition of these 10 pieces of bookworm logic. (We can’t all be right like I am, I suppose.) And there is a slim chance that only I THINK THIS WAY. But pfft, surely not. I’m sure you can all relate and that I’m perfectly normal. ***
* This sounds like a Tolkien novel?? Armageddon And Back Again?? OR POSSIBLY THE TITLE OF MY FUTURE MEMOIR.
** Unless you dog-ear pages and then, no sir, and stop.
*** Hands, hands? Do I see a show of hands? ….please?
1. “MY TBR IS ABOUT TO CRUSH ME.”
Average Logic: Perhaps stop acquiring books until potential of death is averted. Plus you already have such beautiful books on your TBR that you’ve looked forward to reading since time began and fish roamed the earth, so just read them and stop trying to eat 54 cupcakes at once.
Bookworm Logic: I’m dying anyway under my monstrous TBR. There is NO HOPE FOR THE FUTURE BUT TO GET MORE BOOKS. Plus I don’t want my TBR to be unfed and undernourished????? I must feed it????
2. “I’M BROKE.”
Average Logic: I won’t buy that book this week because I should adult and pay for food/rent/clothes/birthday present for Dear Aunt Algernon whom I love so very much.
Bookworm Logic: I could just eat tuna for the week???? And I can send Dear Aunt Algernon a postcard???? And I could live in a cardboard box on the street??? YES THAT’LL BE FINE, NOW I CAN BUY THIS BOOK.
3. “IF I READ THIS BOOK IN PUBLIC I MIGHT CRY.”
Average Logic: I’ll just save reading this book till I’m home because it’d be super awkward to be crying in front of a ton of people with only a paperback to blame.
Bookworm Logic: I’LL JUST CRY ALL OVER EVERYONE IF I MUST.
4. “MY BFF DOESN’T WANT TO READ MY FAVOURITE BOOK.”
Average Logic: That’s fair. Not every book is for everyone. I’ll find a different book to get them to read.
Bookworm Logic Part #1: I’ll duct tape them to a chair and prop the book in front of their eyeballs and refuse them food until they read it and I shall periodically pterodactyl screech in their ear until they they fall HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH IT LIKE I AM.
Bookworm Logic Part #2: Or we sacrifice them at dawn.
5. “EBOOK VS PHYSICAL BOOK?”
Average Logic: Both have their uses! Ebooks are great for travel and having access to more books and cheaper to collect! Physical books are beautiful to collect and are a physical representation of words and can be easier to read.
Bookworm Logic: PHYSICAL BOOKS SMELL NICER.
6. “THAT CHARACTER NAME IS SUPER HARD TO PRONOUNCE.”
Average Logic: I’ll google the pronunciation and get opinions from other bookworms and maybe listen to the audiobook sample to see how they say it.
Bookworm Logic: Look I’ve been mangling it all this time and there is like 2% chance that I’m ever going to change. IT’S STUCK LIKE THIS NOW. THERE IS NO HOPE FOR THE MORROW, FIENDS. GET USED TO IT.
7. “THAT BOOK COVER IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL, BUT WILL I LIKE THE STORY?”
Average Logic: I’ll read some reviews, get some opinions from close friends, try a sample on Amazon. Maybe I’ll borrow it from the library first to see if we mesh first so I don’t waste any money.
Bookworm Logic: But it’s pretty and it’ll be beautiful on my bookstagram account so I’ll just buy it and regret my life later.
8. “SHOULD I RECOMMEND THIS SUPER PAINFUL BOOK?”
Average Logic: I’ll make sure the humans of this galaxy know what they’re getting into before they try it. That way they won’t (A) be miserable and shocked because they weren’t expecting their feels to be skewered and barbecued like a lamb and coriander kebab, and (B) they won’t try to kill me for destroying their life.
Bookworm Logic: I’m going to give it to them and tell them it’s super nice. Then I’ll watch them suffer like I had to. THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT.
9. “THIS REVIEW IS GOING TO BE REALLY HARD. HOW SHALL I TACKLE THIS?”
Average Logic: I’ll either think about it a bit longer and gather my thoughts or I’ll just madly type up what my feels are and leave it at that. But I better do it now before I forget too many details.
Bookworm Logic: Well I have (A) no idea what I think about this, (B) no idea how to star-rate it, (C) no idea what I’m doing, and (D) NO IDEAAAAAAA. So I’ll read some other reviews and totally befuddle my own opinion, and then I’ll look for the perfect gifs because #priorities. Oh and I’ll make a brownie. Or nine brownies. And then I’ll discover the life on Neptune and create my own language and find all my missing left socks. AND AFTER ALL THAT I MIGHT WRITE THE REVIEW. Might.
10. “I HATED THIS BOOK.”
Average Logic: I could get rid of it since it bothered me so much? Donate it, give it away, sell it?
Bookworm Logic: But what if I put it on shelf next to some EXCELLENT books so it learned, by direction and guidance and osmosis, how to be a better book? And if that fails I’m going to stack 92 books on top of it as punishment so it feels FOREVER SQUASHED just like my delicate temperament when it let me down. Or maybe I’ll wear it as a hat. OR MAYBE I’LL EAT IT. Or maybe I shall rename it Harold and use it as a mop.
Is there a chance Bookworm Logic will improve over time?
No, no there is not. In fact, the deeper you get into the bookworm life, the more incomprehensible bookworm logic you adopt and live by. NO NEED TO FRET THOUGH. We’re not alone. We’re in this together.
And there are some actual GOOD pieces of bookworm logic out there. For instance, Sensible Bookworm Logic decrees that (A) you can become BFFs with someone because you like the same book, (B) you can get fit weight-lifting hardcovers, and (C) you can successfully become addicted to Paper Fury posts even though THEY MAKE NO SENSE and you’re secretly only here for the cake and seeing what bizarre fiascos go on in the Queen Fury’s brain. This is solid logic. Good job. #YoureWelcome
I could relate way to much to this *hangs head in shame*
WE ARE TOGETHER IN THIS THOUGH.😂
Totally related to.
I’m also a fan of:
Let’s buy the entire trilogy even if I have no clue what the book is about, never tried the author or the story type but I can’t risk the edition to change and then I’ll get a mismatched set.
YES THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE FOR WE BOOKWORMS.😂 And like boxsets are worth it just to get them matching, right?!
Ahh if I had a dollar for the amount of times my family has looked at me like I’m a psychopath after I’ve shown my bookworm logic….I’d be a millionaire and could probably BUY A WHOLE BOOKSHOP WITH ALL THE HARDCOVERS EVER!
SAME. What is wrong with these families of ours?!? How come they just don’t understaaaaand. *wails into the void* 😂 My #1 life goal is to live in a pile of hardcover books.😍
This is the most logical post ever. What is this ‘average person logic’?! I DON’T SEE WHY IT SHOULD BE BOOKWORM LOGIC WHEN IT IS THE ONLY UNDERSTANDABLE LOGIC.
I spend allllll my money on books AND I WILL BUILD A HOUSE OUT OF MY TBR. What is this e-book you speak of? Hardcovers WITH PRETTY COVERS because bookstagram, and only even if I hate them I gotta keep em BECAUSE PRETTY COVERS LOLOLOL.
Also the amount of times I’ve butchered fantasy names and then I hear the author say it properly and I’m like “nope, that sounds wrong”.
Hard reviews? Please. JUST PUT ALL THE FLAILING AND ASLKJFLASDJOWIQRYEWHSD.
Ok I’m done. This post is pure koala tea.
OKAY THIS IS TRUE, JAZ. MY POST IS FLAWED BASICALLY. *nods* And is our logic even that flawed or is the rest of the world just weird potatoes? #AskingTheRealQuestionsNow
And it’s like once we’ve got that mispronounced name stuck in our head…THERE’S NO GOING BACK.😂 THERE IS NO FIXING THIS MESS.
Am I the only one who thinks Cait should have her own magazine, maybe called The Bookworm Times..or something awesome like that. I can relate to this blog post more than any magazine article I ever read! Ex. “Does he like you?”. Who cares, I have books!
Well a blog is kind of like a magazine right?! An online magazine.😂😂
I know.. I just want something offline too! hehe
So you can’t find a GIF of something on Giphy…
Average Logic: Eh. Guess I’ll use a different GIF/not use a GIF at all.
Bookworm logic: Well there’s a post that isn’t getting written.
My actual thought process a couple of days ago. 😉
THIS IS SO SO TRUE. Or else bookworm logic is to spend 938 hours learning how to make the gif instead of…you know…reading or blogging.😂😂
Average logic just sounds boring tbh. I mean, I’ve bought SO many books because of covers (Thanks, Bookstagram). And I’m a big fan of sacrificing people at dawn if they don’t like my favourite books. It’s such a DISAPPOINTMENT.
Everyone knows the bookworm life is the BETTER kind of life. #legit And I blame bookstagram for all my problems these days. IT’S GREAT.
Hi, Cait!
As always a very funny and relatable post. 🙂
I’m also a fan of: (A) Let us just put the books everywhere. On the windowsills and on the floor and on all the cupboards and in the middle of the room floating at eye-level, because pfft! who needs open spaces? What am I? A gazelle?
(B) Ah, and also, I need all the versions of my favourite book. I mean German version, English version, paperback, hard cover, audiobook. And I do have A LOT OF FAVOURITE BOOKS! 😀
LG, m
You crack me up! This is perfect.😂 And like YES we need walls of books to block out potential zombies too, right?!? #sensible And I’m also guilty of needing several versions of a favourite book…like if I listen on audio there is a huge chance I’ll need it in physical format too.😂
This is great and I was laughing so hard 😂 Not much to add except that I’ve been trying to get myself more used to ebooks because my library’s ebook catalogue is HUGE and that makes things a lot more convenient…if I can get used to reading them! XD
Ebooks can actually be really awesome and useful!!😂 I mean, they’re convenient right?! But physical books just smell so much better…*pets them*
Aaah, this list is TOO TRUE. I’ve definitely found myself justifying every piece of bookworm logic you’ve listed here. But… I need to add to the tower that is my TBR because shoring it up with more books equals better structural integrity. That’s just good engineering. Right? Right. ><
That IS just good sound engineering logic. It even sounds more sensible than my “I need more books otherwise the books I have will get lonely” logic so you’re winning here.
Yeah, never stopping the book purchases makes sense to me. I just need to go for an excursion to IKEA between Christmas and New Years to get myself some bigger shelves. And I actually managed to convince my husband that this is sound logic 😀 *grins evilly*
And while I love to smell my paper books, and admire them on my shelves, I prefer to read e-books. That way, my paper books stay perfect!!
Awesome logic, Queen Fury… and yeah, I’m here for one of those nine brownies as well as your intense knowledge 😉
I need to LIVE in IKEA because of all the shelves and my terrible life problem of not having enough of them.😩😂😂 But omg the best part of bookworm logic is making non-bookworms think it’s legit. We have mad convincing skills. *hi fives*
*gives you brownies as well just because*
BOOKWORMS. Oh, they’re the worst. Good thing I’m not… *whispers* don’t tell the world I’m a bookworm. I like to live in my house not insane asylums *yells* NOTHING TO SEE HERE MOVE ALONG MOVE ALONG NOW PLEASE. <– Ok what did I just say it makes no sense.
ANYWAY. Yes, bookworm logic is so bad. What about 'I'll do the dishes/make my bed/exercise/feed the cat/dog/small dependent child… once I finish my chapter?' Then 7 chapters laters 'why is everybody trying to make me do stuff don't they understand I was reading?'. #actuallogicrightthere.
Also was that #yourewelcome a reference to Moana? Because if it is YOU'RE MORE QUEENLY THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND DESERVE MORE CAKE (which is really saying something, let's be honest)
Basically this was very relatable so well done *minion signs off*
*pats shoulder* It’s okay. Making no sense is a side-effect of reading my blog. WE’RE ALL MAD HERE AND YOU’RE AROUND GOOD FRIENDS. *gives you insane cupcakes* Also bookworms are the worst. Sheesh. Just terrible.
And like this whole “finish a chapter” thing is a bit silly. We want to finish THE WHOLE BOOK. It’s not like we ask for much at all. We only ask for tiny things.
NO I HAVEN’T SEEN MOANA YET. *cries* I probably won’t see it until it’s out of cinemas though, because I don’t really go to cinemas.😩😩
Well I have to admit that I don’t do very many of these… but bookworms are clearly irrepressible, and it makes sense. Whatever. I really read books subject to their availability…so I guess I’m sort oa sensible bookworm….except the crying in public part, that happens all the time. Or worse, laughing in public. But I’ve reached the point where I don’t care. I guess my bookworm logic is that I need to bring a book everywhere I go, even if it’s like a party and I won’t have time to read. Or two books. Or three.
Laughing in public can be a problem too.😂 Or like if you’re listening to an audiobook and you forgot not the whole world is enjoying the hilarity and you end up snort/giggling while you’re out and about??? Oh, oh just me? OKAY THEN.😂 And yES bringing a book everywhere even if you won’t necessarily get a chance to read it is definitely bookworm logic.
So very true, Cait. I especially relate to your points about tbr and crying in public. Also mangling characters’ names is the story of my life. Being a foreigner and all..
I think fantasy authors sit in their evil writing dens and LAUGH GLEEFULLY AND MANICALLY at the suffering of we poor bookworms trying to pronounce their impossible names.😂 They’re terrible!
LOL! this made me laugh so hard. XD and i LOVE that Legolas gif, he’s like, the best thing ever, maybe even better than cake. XD (I’m crazy) XD
Most crazily, ~Olive
NOTHING CAN BE BETTER THAN CAKE!!😂 But Legolas’ fabulous hair might come close. 😉
I’m sad to say that I relate more to the “Average Person” logic than the “Bookworm logic” on most of these . . . except the TBR one (except my TBR is mostly all on Goodreads, not in-person, so it’s ok. Someday I’ll read all the books on there. Someday. If I don’t, it shall pass down to my children when I die and they can finish the task for me). And the character name one. (Of course, I do that with everything- character names, mathematical concepts (ask me to pronounce integral), cities, animals, random other words . . .)
As for my “Bookworm logic” . . . What about “I don’t really read this book anymore. I should get rid of it. Except what if I have kids someday? And I want THEM to read it? What kind of parent would I be if I didn’t pass down the magic of my youth-loved books to my children? A HORRIBLE ONE, that’s what kind!” Thus why I have about half a bookshelf filled with books I mostly never read.
OH YOU POOR MUGGLE.😂 Hehe, just kidding!! That’s okay, I didn’t think all bookworms would relate.
Just the psycho ones like me. ahem. I want to read all the books on my Goodreads TBR but it’s literally in the thousands now and I have this teeny tiny problem where I add like 10 for every 1 I read. I’m not sure how that happened but it did.I totally relate to keeping bad books too.😂 Or I just keep them because I want to have an epic collection not because I actually liked them.😂
Some of us have yet to succumb to the acceptance that our bookworm behavior will now alter our former life beyond recognition. Get with it already, people.
To this I would add:
We must make sure there is no dust/fuzz/cat hair on a page before we turn it.
No one is allowed to interrupt us before the end of a chapter (even if the house is burning down/there is a rabid fox in the driveway/someone is calling to offer us a job).
The world is not permitted to explode before that new release we’ve been coveting is released and we’ve had a chance to read it and react in the feels.
😉 😉
Ohhh I HEAR YOU with the chapter one so bad. But like I prefer not to be interrupted until I finish the whole book. Like I mean that’s not much to ask, right??? And the world is not permitted to explode or for, like, old age to kill us until we’ve finished our TBR piles. #legit
Oh, Cait, your timing is impeccable. I listened to the entirety of The Serpent King today and ran into the problems of (3), (8), And (9) and it is 100% your fault because you recommended the book to me. Do not think I didn’t add you to the naughty list.
YOU ARE SO SO WELCOME FOR THE (painful) GIFT THAT IS MEEEEEE. 😇😈 But omg that book. THAT BOOK. It is literally the best thing and also I am a broken piece of pasta *sobs on your shoulder* 💔💔
Every single thing on this list is SO TRUE. Especially number 4 because I will force a book on my friends, whether they want to read it or not, until they read it. I am such a great friend!🙂 And I have bought so many books based on looks alone. It’s not even funny.
And number 8! It’s so much fun to see people suffer like you did whilst reading a painful book. (as wrong as that sounds)
You ARE a great friend. You’ve literally enriched their lives by forcing them to read the glorious books that you love. #kindbookworms It’s just a bonus when they end up suffering.😂
Oh no, lamb kabobs!! I grew up eating the deer & rabbit & squirrel my Grandpa hunted, and the fish he caught, but I’ve yet to eat lamb or duck. I like those animals too much! Lamb b/c I grew up reading James Herriott (and there are a lot of scenes of him helping to birth lambs out in the bitter cold), and ducks b/c we used to feed them all the time at a local park. Oh, and speaking of cake! I’m making a White Texas Sheet Cake for Christmas this year. Nothing fancy in terms of ingredients, but SO GOOD!!!
Ooooh, I have not heard of a White Texas Sheet Cake bUT OF COURSE I WANT ONE. Because cake.😂
CAIT. Please write Armageddon and Back Again. Please. I will somehow ship cupcakes (or at least pics of them). And this post is totally and completely accurate.
IT WILL BE A MOST GLORIOUS MEMOIR FOR SURE. *flings cupcakes at the apocalypse*
Oh, so much truth in one post it hurts. Every time I go on a “book buying ban,” it lasts about three days. If I’m lucky. For instance, what do I do now that I’ve banned myself from buying new books until I’ve finished off a few from my TBR? Buy the audiobook to Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. #NOREGRETS
OMG ARI AND DANTE IS LITERALLY THE BEST THING EVER THOUGh. So obviously you made a good life decision. The problem with book buying bans is you get ZERO support from the blogosphere.😂 It’ll be all “I’m on a ban, tell me not to buy this book!” and twitter is there whispering “buuuuut buuuuuuy it”. 😂😂
I read this on lunch at work and was totally dying laughing because it is one hundred percent true of all librarians as well. But I book logic is the better logic. Give me books! I totally cracked up at #4. Great post, Cait. Have a wonderful holiday!!!
I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT.😂 We bookworms actually have marvellous and how can it possibly go wrong? :’)
“Or maybe I shall rename it Harold and use it as a mop.” <– What even did I just read. <3
(Honestly, I'm here for the humor and the pwetty booktography and the Australianness and Kaz. Just sayin'.)
The phrase “what even did I just read” is basically MY TAGLINE FOR MY WHOLE BLOG. Basically “confuse and destroy” that’s my motto. *twirls about angelically* 😂
I love ALL OF THESE. You know those things that are so funny BECAUSE THEY ARE SO TRUE??? …yeah. WHO REALLY NEEDS TO EAT ANYWAYS?? Besides, living off of brownies because those are the only ingredients left in your house is FUN.
I basically lived off brownies over NaNo.😂 No regrets. I mean, my book has a lot of brownies in it but ahem, I digress. I think we bookworms are actually amazing in how thrifty we can be. Why not wear the same clothes for 9 years so we can just have all the new books??? #nice
YES I’m glad I’m not the only one 😂😂
In my first finished book I had to force myself not to write about food BUT I COULDN’T HELP IT. I kept writing when I was hungry and there was nothing to be done about it. I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.
These are all so true! I’d have to say my #1 instance of bookworm logic is when I buy a ton of books because they’re on sale. I tell myself that I’m saving money – but I would have saved more money if they weren’t on sale in the first place and I didn’t buy any! I think the worst was when I promised myself that I was only going to get ONE BOOK but then there was a sale AND I had coupons and I think I ended up with six. *sigh* maybe someday I’ll learn.
Bahahah, I RELATE SO MUCH.😂 Like the other day I had to use up some book vouchers and either I could be $8 under or $20 over and I was like…”obviously I can’t waste that $8 so I’ll be thrifty and spend more”.😂 I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF HONESTLY.
Not reading a book know I will really like, I know it will be good so I spend time staring at it every day instead…. bookworm logic…
Oh oh that one too for sure. Like that one I don’t understand but I DO IT TOO. I’ll take a million photographs of a book instead of reading it.😂
That Legolas Gif though, haha. So true on the names though. I mangle all of them all of the time.
LEGOLAS IS BEAUTY AND HE’S GRACE. #TooFabulousForThisArea 😇😂
The fact that I can relate to most of these and didn’t even realize there was such a thing as “bookworm logic” is hilarious to me! The character name one is SO TRUE! I never google translate them until after to see how badly I messed up the name but even after knowing the correct pronunciation I will still forever say it the way I thought it was in my head while reading.
It’s just too hard to change pronunciations sometimes, right?!? I usually read a book and then maybe I’ll listen to an audio and be like “WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE” because I don’t recognise their names. 😜😂
Another fabulously hilarious (and true) post, Cait!
Normal Person: I have an 8 a.m. class tomorrow, so I should just read a few chapters and go to bed early.
Me: I NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS!!!! *finishes book at 2 a.m.* *Then decides to start reading sequel* *literally passes out from exhaustion at 4 a.m.*
YES THAT ONE IS SO ACCURATE IT HURTS TOO. *flings confetti over our glorious bookworm logics*
Crazy enough, many of these thoughts have swarmed through my brain from time to time. You are not alone!
I just know how we bookworms think.😜
BOOKWORM LOGIC IS COMPLETELY SOUND. Anyone who disagrees can fight me, years of reading frustrations compacted into 5 foot tall rage. Fear me.
Though yes, this was quite accurate.
OF COURSE IT’S SOUND. I mean, this post should’ve been titled “great bookworm logic” because obviously we are living the good life here with our sound and sensible ideas. *nods*
OSMOSIS? OMG Cait I laughed so hard, I choked on salad! SALAD! I didn’t even know you could choke on salad 😛 I’m on board with all the bookworm logics!! I’ve bought book solely because i know the covers will look freaking gorgeous on Instagram 😉 Another logic- If I buy book 1 of a series with a certain cover art and book 2 with a different kind of cover art, I’ll buy the rest of the books in the series in BOTH the kinds of covers cause books get sad when covers don’t match 😀 😛 It’s a proven fact!!! Talk to my Harry Potter books 😛
Please continue writing such posts so I can conduct my research of “What are the food items you can choke over while reading Cait’s posts” (because I’m obviously eating whenever I read your posts ) 🙂 XD
SALADS ARE DANGEROUS THOUGH, UMA. I MEAN, ALL THOSE VEGETABLES OMG. RUN WHILE YOU CAN.
Cover changes are the actual worst.😂 I mean, how dare publishers force us to buy all the things?!? *stomps foot* 😂
AND I SHALL CONTINUE OF COURSE. Also the fact that you eat + read my blog is actually the best thing since all I do is really talk about food here.😂
Definitely a 7/10 at least for me. I lost count. 😂
Here is my brilliant two cents worth of Bookworm Logic:
“Book 1 & 2 of this trilogy destroyed me for 78 years.”
Average logic: I am going to DNF this series because really, who can spare another precious 78 years off my immortal life to wallow in the terrifying awfulness of the book & series???
Bookworm Logic: OF COURSE I’m going to read the last one, why stop now, O faint of heart? WE MUST KNOW HOW IT ENDS. Life will have no meaning if we don’t. IN FOR A PENNY IN FOR A POUND [phrase developed and pattented by disappointed bookworms reading series].
“Oh, my friends are having a [fill in social event of your choice]!”
Average logic: I will set aside time from my weekend to go see them. It’s been a while and I must maintain a social life after all…
Bookworm Logic: WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT SOCIAL LIFE TBH?! I have this REALLY GOOD BOOK (well I don’t know yet if it’s any good but so what it’s a book and that’s what matters) that I just got and NEED TO READ ALREADY and true friends will understand and if they don’t they can get a life probs. BOOKS > socializing.
I AGREE WITH THIS BOOKWORM LOGIC TOO.😂 Like I have series I’m literally finishing just because I need the closure, but I will 100% be ranting about them.😂😂
And books > social life. Every time.
“Physical Books Smell Better” – I totally agree! Although the weight of some are defiantly bad for your wrists… but that just means I can eat more cake to make my stomach into my own personal reading shelf – Isn’t bookwork logic just the best 🙂 lol
Great post as always!
AGh, yes those 500+ page books can be little hand killers. *weeps whilst trying to read Game of Thrones* 😂 But yes, fuel yourself on cake. It’s obviously the answer here.
Hey! I’m Arunima. This post was hilarious, I can relate. I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and I love it. I’m a bookworm too. I absolutely LOVE reading and writing stories.
OH HELLO ARUNIMA!! *waves* I’m so glad you like my posts. Aaaall the cake for you, my new friend. 😀
#4 absolutely definitely calls for a sacrifice at dawn. Nothing else to it.
OF COURSE. I mean, there’s no other reaction.
LOL yes, yes and yes! Especially procrastination *middlename* and force feeding friends books I love – which is probably why they avoid me…
Bookworm logic: buying and collecting all kinds of strange objects that might look good in a bookstagram one day, maybe.
Ooh, YES to that bookworm logic too.😂 Like I literally buy books because I need to take a photo, or like I dash about the house stealing knicknacks for photo opportunities. WE DO WHAT WE MUST.😂
The TBR crushing is real but I don’t have the money for it so #libraries But then again, I return two and borrow five more. WHAT SENSE DOES THAT MAKE?!
I can actually relate more to the average logic of ‘I’m Broke’ but when I’m rich, I’ll buy #allthebooks
Physical books DO smell nicer! (But sometimes the new ones can smell bad but you didn’t hear that from me)
Average logic again. I must know #ALLTHEPRONUNCIATIONS
Haha, I learned my lesson from beautiful covers. #Everything,Everything
You’re evil, Cait! xD Recommending a painful book? That is such a dreadful sin! 😛
I DO THE SAME WITH LIBRARIES. It’s a problem but also I’m not stopping?! So yes we have problems.😂 (I actually prefer new book smell to old book smell though….and omg bookstores and libraries smell AMAZING.)
I recommend painful books all the time. Beware. 😉
I don’t understand the problem here. Us bookworms ARE incredibly smart AND so many of our arguments make SOOOO much more sense. 😉
There’s also fun things like buying books you’ve already read because they have new cover art… Or being absolutely bone tired and still insisting on reading because OBVIOUSLY! Or taking your book with you EVERYWHERE just in case you get an opportunity to read buuuut you only ever get to read when you go to bed. But again, NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THIS.
Love your post as usual Cait! Always entertaining!
YOU ARE SO RIGHT THOUGH. Actually our logic makes sense and everyone else is weird. #obviously 😂 And yesss, sometimes I buy books just because they’re pretty or I’ve already read…and I have basically zero regrets.
So much truth here, I never know what to do with bad books 🙁
SIT ON THEM. BUILD A THRONE OUT OF THEM. #sensible
So… this post is pretty much amazing and awesome and I will now show it all my family and friends to prove that I am not alone in my logic! In fact, if there are so many of us booklovers, doesn’t it mean that our bookworm logic has become average logic? So other people are weird? Or something… Anyway, I’ll stick with it that we are NOT weird and SUPER SMART and our logic beats average logic! 🙂
IT’S SO TRUE. Our logic is the RIGHT one and everyone else is bizarre and weird. #legit 😂
I think we bookworms are all clones! This is so me! HAHAHA!
We just have excellent and very very reasonable logic. For sure. 😉
Hah! This post made me laugh and smile:) My favorite is #4. Instead of a person not liking my favorite book, I say aloud what a normal person would say, but my inner thoughts are that of a bookworm. I should feed my TBR more often. I don’t do it enough. I have a mental TBR in my head, but one that is not as updated on Goodreads. Ah, well. I know what I want to read, when I want to read. Right now I’m reading Replica by Lauren Oliver. I live the way it was made, and how I can flip back and forth. The story is alright, but I’m more in love with the aesthetic.
OH I AM GLAD. *gives you cake* 😀 😂 And oh oh sometimes I do just say what the normal thing is like “oh okay” and then inside I’m like running after them shrieking and demanding they reconsider. If it’s my sister who refuses to read my favourite book, there is a lot of glaring involved.😂
Ohh, let me know how you go with all of Replica?! I had it out from the library but it was like A MILLION PAGES and I wimped out and sent it back because most of the reviews I’ve seen are 2 or 3 stars.🙈🙊 But I’m still intrigued!
Yes. All of that. And then you have kids… So of course you have to get all the books that you no longer have that you used to love. And picture books. All the picture books, because they are beautiful. And then the demon spawn that think they are your children DON”T LIKE YOUR BOOKS!!! But you keep them anyway because maybe their younger spawn sibling will. Or a nephew, or small visiting child….
Oooh, collecting children’s books is wonderful too!! I do for my nephew/nieces. WE MUST CONVERT ALL THE LITTLE CREATURES TO BOOKS TOO!!
HAHAHAHA this logic is the BEST! Especially #1, 2, 6, and 7. Poor bookish characters will just have to live answering to the mangled version of their name that I call them (or any nicknames that I give them instead). I spent one whole book calling one character the wrong name and didn’t realize it until I went to write the review. Quesnel = Quenton in my head. Autocorrect of the brain. >,< lol!
Sometimes I don’t even TRY pronouncing their names so they’re just like “BLANK” in my mind and it’s a disaster if I try to talk about the book out loud.😂 And I totally rename them too!! Bahaha to “autocorrect of the brain”. YES AND RELATABLE.
Great list Cait. We book worms are quite smart you know!! It is our birth right. Also, why not physical books? Why not pretty covers? Why not add to the TBR. It is our birthright. 😀
We are definitely smart *nods* *pretends is not buried under 3989 books right now because cannot say no to them* And we neeeeed phsyical books with pretty covers because BOOKSTAGRAM!!
Beautiful. And true, every word.
Well, I refuse to cry in public, but every other word XD
I’M SO GLAD WE AGREE, FELLOW BOOKWORM. *hi fives*
These are so accurate! To add to #2, the cardboard box you’re going to live in probably shipped all the books that bankrupted you, so, it’s quite fitting. To add to #10, you also probably keep it because of bookstagram. Though I could probably use a mop, so I will keep that in mind. But let’s be real, who has time to clean when you have ALL the books to read and/or pet? No one. We shall live in filth and squalor, which is probably another thing you can add to the ol’ list here. We are a weird species for sure 😀
It IS fitting and somehow poetic too so there’s an aesthetic win for we homeless bookworms. #nice 😂 But see that’s why you have siblings/children/pets because then you can set THEM to doing all the work for you and if they refuse you can chase after them howling with a book and they’ll definitely work out of sheer fear. It’s a win. Put those children of yours to use, Shannon. #FlawlessBookwormLogic
YES TO LOGIC #1! I know I’ve tonssss of unread books yet I keep acquiring more?! And normal people would be like… “maybe stop buying books until you read what yoy have?” and I’m like… what? Why would I do that? Also yes anything for books. I’d rather buy my mom’s clothes sometimes because I don’t want to spend my money on wardrobe hahaha but I no longer read soul crushing books in public! I have cried on bus and trains and nope I’m not doing that again 😛 I used to be satisfied with ebooks but ever since I got more and more involved in the bookish community all I want is PHYSICAL BOOKS. No wonder I’m broke :’)
EXACTLY. Non-bookworms just don’t understand and it’s so hard to put up with them. *heavy sigh* Of course we need more books??? Obviously??? 😜 (I basically like wear the same clothes for years because I use my money on books. #noregrets 😂)
sAME THO. Like ebooks are great but how can we take photos of them?!? I need all the physical books now.😂
Dear Cait,
I totally agree with EVERYTHING.
To convience people that bookworm logic is absolutely normal, I always bring the example of shoes. A friend of mine has this enormous amount of shoes (clichè women and shoes…). Everytime she wonders why I need so many books, that I haven’t even read, I ask her: “Why do you need all these shoes, that you don’t even wear?”. Silences her everytime. See, we are not weird, the other people are! Beause, why would you spent all your money on (stupid) shoes, if instead you could buy books?!
I like the sacrificing part. How can anyone not like your favorite books?! It’s treason.
Twineety
yES that’s a perfect example! I also give the same example with food. I mean, humans keep buying food to live right?? Same with a bookworm and books. #FlawlessBookwormLogic 😂😂
Have been struggling with #1. Have a huge list of books that I ALREADY HAVE ACCESS TO. (kindle or physical). But am I satisfied? Ha! I also have to have an Amazon wishlist and constantly check the “Items with price drops” filter. Lol. Loved the post
https://teensliveforjesus.blogspot.ru/
We bookworms can never be satisfied.😭😂 It is our CURSE. hehe.
Hahah this reminds of the times where I’m like “friends you have to read this book it’s really good”, “is it sad?” “no” *gives them The Book Thief* I always lie about these things because I WANT them to finish it. And they won’t finish it if it’s sad so I gotta lie. It’s in my nature.
And for that pronunciation thing. Yep. I was listening to Seraphina via audiobook, and it was very hard to follow because all these names are popping up and I could not keep track of them at all. I rather read it and have my own pronunciation in my head. Also when I went to read Shadow Scale, I was even more messed up because I didn’t know what matched on to which label.
Great post Cait!
Yes yes lie always. I always lie to my sister and then watch her descend into terror. Although she wasn’t going to read Holding Up the Unvierse until I promised her it wasn’t as bad as All The Bright Places.😂 AHEM. But c’mon. People say they don’t want sad books, but they really do. We know it deep down inside.
And sometimes like I make the pronunciations simpler?!? Like if the dude’s name has a million Ys or I’s or something, I just shorten it in my head and it makes a lot more sense. Daenerys, for instance, is never Daenerys.😂 Let’s go with Dani and stop there.
Bookworms do have great logic! I can totally relate to most of these. I can’t think of another one that I do right now…. I am sure it will come to me later when I am actually doing it. 😉
That was so vague….haha So the one on your list I can most relate to is your BFF not wanting to read one of your favorite books. I get all up in their space and maybe sometimes threatening occurs. Maybe. Usually. Or sometimes I just shove the book at them or buy it for them for a gift and continually text them to see if they have read it. All of these are great bookworm logic moments. It really isn’t normal that a BFF shouldn’t read ALL the books you tell them to. 😉
IT’S TRUE!! Our logic is actually brilliant and not terrible at all.😂 I’m sure it NEVER backfires on us hahahaha. *collapses in a puddle*
I thought I was a bookworm (and by worm we all mean dragon), but it seems I’m just an average person. At least as far as logic goes. I still read a lot though. My one regular instance of bookdragon logic is with time. I can manage money, but I will read half the day away sometimes.
YOU MUGGLE!! 😂 Haha, just kidding. But hey I did put that disclaimer at the top that said it might not be all bookworms.😂 It miiiiight be just me. Ahem.
Hahaha…perhaps I should try the duct tape and chair method with some of my friends and family members. There are just so many books THAT ARE SO UNDERRATED AND I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO LOVE THEM. And everyone knows you recommend the painful books first. Duh. 😛
IT IS TOTALLY GUARANTEED TO WORK I’M SURE OF IT. *nods* I’m in the current process of duct taping my sister to a chair to force her to read The Raven Boys, aka my favourite books of ever. I’m sure this will go down fine and won’t backfire at all.
LOOL I missed your blog posts.. they’re so hilarious as always. I agree with the how to tackle a bad book haha I do that all the time. Thank you for sharing & love the pretty bookish pictures!
Awww, that’s so nice to hear! THANK YOU. *swirls happily*
Best. Logic. Ever. Just saying.
AGREED. It’s actually genius and not “worst” at all. Who even wrote this post, shame on them.😂
OH MY WORD
YOU USED THE PHRASE ‘QUEEN FURY’
AND JUST YESTERDAY I MADE THAT TWEET ABOUT QUEEN FURY.
WHAT EVEN.
OKAY SO ACTUALLY I HAD THIS POST SCHEDULED BEFORE YOUR TWEET. BUT. THIS PROVES WE’RE BRAIN TWINS.
YES YES EXACTLY
WHAT EVEN
Oh cait.
Why must all your posts crack me up and urge me to pet my books all day as opposed to the 12 hours a day? I must say, average people are missing out! They need books and they need them NOW.
Sacrifices at dawn are the most fun, as are tbr books crushing you! (Because then you have an excuse to hermit inside them for hours and read!). 😀
Then of course, there are the pretty books! What are these ugly books you speak of? The pretty ones are most boot-I-ful on the shelf!
As Always, although I am a newer reader, your posts are my favorites and quite worth a read when I’m not tackling my tbr pile!
-Samantha, redheadwithabook
I’M VERY GLAD THIS MAKES YOU LAUGH.😂 My work here is done. *flings confetti over both of us* But YES average people are missing out!! Like they must live such boring lives with this sensibly boring logic they have?? Sheesh.
THANK YOU FOR READING. <3
Ooh this is good. I think every normal person out there should read this post so they can understand our logic 😂 I agree with 6, I just can’t (and won’t) change my pronounciation of a characters name to the official one, no matter how ridiculous mine is 😂
It gets ingrained in our brains right?!? WE CAN’T CHANGE IT NOW IT’S JUST STUCK THERE.😂
Oh, Cait. Never stop blogging, okay, dear??? I would shrivel up and die without your hilariousness.
JUST FOR YOU, I SHALL NEVER STOP BLOGGING.
Wow, just for me??? Thank you!!! 😉
I definitely relate to this post so much! Especially #1 (I think for every book I read, I add five to my TBR pile!) and #5! 🙂
Yessss. The TBR knows no chill that’s for sure.😂
Curse you, Cait! lol I was at a sleepover laughing so freaking hard about this and trying not to wake up all my friends :p
A +, though. A freaking plus.
Alexa
thessalexa.blogspot.com
verbosityreviews.com
THIS ACTUALLY MAKES MY DAY.😜 😂😂
My Goodreads TBR is long enough for the next 15 years, but I’m always looking for new books to add to it.
So relatable.😂 That is me ALL THE TIME TOO.
At least 8 of your resume 10 points are 100% me.
My best boy friend reads only a few mangas #NoRealBooksAtAll I could have given him a music album or a piece of clothing for his birthday? NO. He received a book. He hasn’t read it yet though ^^
And you know how my best friend and I became best friends 5 years ago? OUR FAVORITE BOOK WAS (AMD STILL IS) THE SAME. We never ever argue #BooksWin
Well I hope you manage to convince your friend to try reading a full book eventually!!😂 But hey at least mangas are better than nothing right?!? hehe
OMG THAT’S AWESOME THAT YOU BECAME FRIENDS THROUGH BOOKS THOUGH. #squadgoals
Paperback, or hardcover? I don’t usually like paperbacks, but some books, like the Discworld books, scream paperback to me. Do you have that with some books? XD
I’d honestly have ALL books in hardcover if I could!!😂 But like, I definitely can’t haha, so I do like a few paperbacks. I actually like paperbacks with loose binding because they’re easy on the wrists to hold open!
“But it’s pretty and it’ll be beautiful on my bookstagram account so I’ll just buy it and regret my life later.” HAHA, I am so guilty of this. My brain says, “Just wait and get in from the library,” but my heart says, “MUST POSSESS THE BEAUTIFUL THING.” This whole list is great!
THIS IS VERY RELATABLE. 😂