This book is so fatally sarcastic that I JUST LOVE IT.
The full title is Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse and there are two VERY important things you should know: (1) the author is the famed twitter account @XplodingUnicorn which is so funny I can’t even, and (2) you don’t even need to be a parent to enjoy this. I mean, I’m not a parent and I absolutely adored it.
So I pretty much recommend it to people who:
- love humour
- are very keen on the apocalypse and possibly surviving it
- have ever battled with a baby stroller and knew only one of you was coming out alive
- have ever encountered a small human under 3 feet high
- are kind of dead inside
- cover up this deadness with sarcasm
Wow IT’S LIKE A BOOK FOR ME.
+ Parents and non-parents alike are going to adore this.
I originally assumed it’d be a parenting book with a lot of zombie metaphors. Which makes sense right? Parents must be zombies because they never sleep and live on coffee, and after about the first two years of that, they start chewing their own arms off. BUT YET. This is a genuine guide on how to survive the apocalypse and keep your children alive! It contains all sorts of tips about where to hide (put your kid in a trash bin so they can at least have a snack while hiding) and what weapons to use (umbrella strollers are fatal) and how to practise and prepare (like hide from your kids to teach them skills from hiding from zombies and also you can check your phone for a minute).
This is actual genius that I am here for. If I ever have kids (GOD FORBID) then I’ll probably keep them alive for 3 minutes longer than I would on my own.
+ It’s extremely hilarious.
The sarcasm is wickedly on point. Honestly if you like tumblr posts –> this book is for you. And I love tumblr posts. I go on facebook to look at tumblr posts, so if that doesn’t sum up my love of this style of humour, what will. Also the author is DEADLY FUNNY on twitter and here we don’t have the tweet limit! Pages of witty commentary!
+ It’s also illustrated!
With the kind of comics you could make on Paint which makes them thoroughly endearing and I’m fond of them. And there are flow-charts and spreadsheet boxes as well as the occasional zombie poking up on random pages. This is GREAT and highly needed because who wants to read books without pictures??? Not me. I swear I read 500pg fantasy novels when I was 12 and these days, dude, don’t leave me with a 280 character tweet, I can’t handle that. So 10/10 to illustrations.
+ I also learned nothing about parenting which is how I want it to be.
I mean YOU might pick up some great tips, but I’m an aunt of several goblins under the age of 7 and being an aunt is great because you can hand them back. And you can also eat the annoying ones. (WAIT I’M NOT A ZOMBIE THAT WAS A TYPO.) But I appreciated that this was full of practical advice.
+ No seriously So much practical advice.
Like the section on where to hide our toddler during a zombie attack. For example:
On A Tree Branch:
Pros (your kid probably won’t jump down)
Cons (If you can reach it, so can the undead. It’s an elevated zombie feeder)
Cardboard Box:
Pros (kids love these)
Cons (you might be tempted to add stamps and mail them)
+ But don’t FEAR! The book does want you to keep your family alive!
There’s only a few instances were we’re tempted to mail them elsewhere, but doesn’t everyone feel like that about their family?!? I try to mail myself to Antartica at least twice a month. The book also will coach you through what to do when your kid is doing the dying swan tantrum in the middle of the apocalypse. Tips include crying, I think.
+ Are you dead inside? Don’t @ me. You know you are.
I mean who isn’t these days. If you’re online, you are dead inside. So I highly do recommend this book so you can laugh, rekindle the light inside our soul, and then snuff it out because the apocalypse is coming. AT LEAST WE CAN HOEP IT’S COMING. I’ve been training by running for nearly 6 years now. Dangit, someone please get me the apocalypse. Anyway I loved this one! It’s less than 300-pages and such a fun read!
Huge thanks to the author for sending my an eARC! Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse by James Breakwell was published October, 2017!
★★★★☆
It’s not easy being a parent these days. There are bills to pay. Kids to feed. And hordes of undead monsters to keep at bay.
There are plenty of guides out there about how to survive the zombie apocalypse. All of them assume readers are young, fit, and unencumbered by children. In that scenario, the only living humans left will be smug, outdoorsy Millennials. That’s hell on earth, even without the zombies.
Only Dead on the Inside is the answer for the rest of us.
Written by professional comedy writer and amateur father-of-four James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn), Only Dead on the Inside blends traditional parenting advice with zombie survival tips, bringing together two totally unrelated genres in a book no one asked for but everyone needs.
This step-by-step manual teaches you how to raise happy, healthy children in a world overrun by the undead. Motivated moms and dads want it all, and that won’t change at the end of the world. There’s no reason you can’t be a zombie killing machine AND parent of the year, but you have to work for it.
If you want to make sure your family is apocalypse-ready, Only Dead on the Inside is your best–and only–chance at survival. No pressure, but if you don’t read this book, your children will die.
Twitter Website Goodreads Amazon Book Depository
This looks like a fun read!! thanks for the review. you never know when you might need to hide toddlers from zombies, helpful practical tips. 😀 thanks for the review!!
I’m so glad you liked the review, Chelsea!!😂 And omg I know right?! This book is out to save lives.
This book sounds like so much fun though. I want.
Also. This:
‘I mean YOU might pick up some great tips, but I’m an aunt of several goblins under the age of 7 and being an aunt is great because you can hand them back.’
HELLO ARE YOU ME?
Also flowcharts. I love flowcharts.
This sounds so good. I shall add to the already dangerously high pile
Josephine recently posted…Review: The Beginning of the World in the Middle of the Night
I’M PROBABLY YOU, JOSEPHINE. IT SEEMS LIKE IT’S POSSIBLE??? Identity theft is my part time hobby. Also being an aunt is like 500% certain to be the best. Plus the kids always like you better because you never say no. #WINNING
I started seeing this dude everywhere so I followed him. I’m currently halfway through the book and it is pretty funny. ( Though I don’t think the writing flows very well). I have a lot of books to read before the apocalypse. I recently read Life After Life which adult literary fiction but very compelling.
It was totally funny haha! It’s really my type of humour so the whole thing just made me laugh.😂
ohmyword, this sounds HILARIOUS. I need it.
Olive recently posted…Beautiful books 2017
IT IS SO GOOD AND FUNNY.😂
I have not heard about this book, but that guy is massively entertaining on Twitter to I may have look it up. And you always want to expand on your zombie apocolypse plan, of course.
Exactly, right?! one cannot prepare enough for the apocalypse and considering the USA, I’m sure it’ll be here in about 3 to 4 months.
I have adored following his Twitter and I am sure as heck going to read that book.
It seems highly useful and full of handy information for survival. *nods*
It will definitely revolutionise the world and how we see the apocalypse.
I follow this Twitter account and, as a new Mom, I laugh out load daily. I’m pretty excited for this book! Love your review!
The twitter account is SO funny, right?!?😂
I need this book, I will probably gift it to one of my parents for Christmas. They still have seven kids to raise, maybe it will help 😉
Bahaha, sounds like a GREAT idea.😂
OMG THIS BOOK SOUNDS HILARIOUS AND FANTASTIC. I freaking love dry and sarcastic humor? SIGN ME THE HECK UP, please???
Also Cait how did you even know that I’m dead inside??? I THOUGHT THAT I COVERED UP MY DEADNESS but I guess I’ll have to try harder.
I follow @XplodingUnicorn on Twitter nOWWW. I love explosions. I love unicorns. WOW A MASHUP.
And yes I am very, very keen for the apocalypse. I kind of day dream sometimes and imagine what I would do and how I would protect my family and be the Responsible One. Obviously the fam is wrong and my sister is NOT more responsible than me?? JUST YOU WAIT FOR THE APOCALYPSE.
Julianna @ Blots of Ink and Words recently posted…Why We Should Give Authors All The Love
I DEFINITELY KNEW, JULIANNA. I JUST KNOW THINGS ABOUT EVERYONE AND WE’RE ALL SUPER DEAD INSIDE. But we hide it by covering ourselves in books. :’) I think the apocalypse will be quite exciting. Lots of reading time and blood splatters.
THIS BOOK LOOKS HILARIOUS! I have always wondered if I were to have children, where would I hide them when the apocalypse. A cardboard box would be great. I could mail them to keep the safe. Thanks for the review Cait!
It’s the kind of question WE ALL ASK RIGHT?!?? And I would definitely mail them too. Like stick in a few snacks and we’re good to go.
Fantastic review! I think I liked it a bit too much 😀
Aww thanks!
You had me at SARCASM AND ZOMBIES! Hmmmm possible future book title? Sarcasm & Zombies: A Memoir 😂
But this sounds hilarious, I love humor books like this! And I actually DO follow him on Twitter, so I can only imagine how magical he is without a character limit!
I’m also now concerned I’m actually a 3 year-old disguised as a 27 year-old. I mean, I love snacks and I would totally talk to my light-up shoes if I owned any.
Loretta recently posted…Ten Years of City of Bones: Week One
That would make a most EXCELLENT memoir title.😂 And I know right?! It’s even better without being limited by twitter’s character limits.😂
Great review! The book sounds like an entertaining and fun read! I will have to put it on my TBR. 🙂
Eeep, so glad you enjoyed reading this!
THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN FOR ME YES
except i have no intention of being a parent… i have three small siblings and two small cousins and i have seen the horrors..
Daisy recently posted…In Which I Return With Much Fanfare
It’s entirely hilarious if you know ANY little kids honestly. 😂😂
I love this! This book sounds hilarious and so does the apocalypse. That would be fun. Maybe someone should make that happen. Actually, at this rate… 😉
Great review! I love a little change every now and then. XD
Amy recently posted…The Fall-time Cozy-time Tag
It is super fun!! (And honestly the apocalypse is definitely coming so we can all get prepared.)
I love James Breakwell’s twits eventough I am not parent. His tweet are relatable and I have lot nephew and niece so I can see his point relevant.
I did not interest his book because the cover is not pretty but now you made me want to read this book 😀 great review Cait 😀
Hana Bilqisthi recently posted…#2014onDuty, Sepenggal Kisah dari Penjuru Negeri
That’s how I felt too!! I have nieces/nephews and I think it’s super relatable to read his book/tweets if you have those!😂
IM SCREAMING MY FAVORITE TWITTER PEOPLE HAVE FINALLY COME TOGETHER.
My entire Twitter existence is made.
OMG THIS MAKES ME LAUGH.😂😂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!!
I stalk james on Twitter sooo hard …..I can’t even….
He’s so funny!! Absolutely adore his humour style! 😂
Oh my God I NEED this book straight away. Just give me all the sarcasm!!! Grabby hands!!
It’s absolutely HYSTERICAL.😂😂